Speaker 1: Episode one thirteen is episode thirty five, Modifying the Baby
Speaker 1: Steps with Merrily. Welcome to the Frugal Friends Podcast, where
Speaker 1: you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity rights, and live
Speaker 1: with your life. Here your host Jen and Jill M
Speaker 1: m M. Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name
Speaker 1: is Jen, my name is Jill. And every seventh episode
Speaker 1: we replay one of our favorite episodes. And this one
Speaker 1: just happens to fall on a day where we'd normally
Speaker 1: have a guest on the show, which is perfect, and
Speaker 1: this is a show with a guest on it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and uh, we are excited to welcome back Merrily. She
Speaker 1: doesn't know she's being welcome back, but here she is.
Speaker 1: She'll probably find out one way or another. Talking about
Speaker 1: how her family modified Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps to become
Speaker 1: debt free and how you can make some similar changes, um,
Speaker 1: and make your debt free journey your own. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was a great episode, um, and I think again spread
Speaker 1: this message of freedom within our financial journey, that it
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be so black and white, but we
Speaker 1: can find a way that works for us with our
Speaker 1: budget and the way that we make money with how
Speaker 1: much money we make so, Yeah, I'm excited to replay
Speaker 1: this one. Yeah. But before we get into our sponsors
Speaker 1: and the episode, we just wanted to take this time
Speaker 1: to give a little public disclaimer about what we believe
Speaker 1: Frugal Friends is about and how we believe that that's
Speaker 1: super relevant for what you may be experiencing in your
Speaker 1: online lives right now. And so if you've been listening
Speaker 1: to the show for any length of time, you know
Speaker 1: that we're very passionate about it's not enough to just
Speaker 1: know what to do with your finances, but you actually
Speaker 1: have to put it into action, um, to actually do it.
Speaker 1: So it's not enough to know that you shouldn't be
Speaker 1: getting Starbucks every morning, but you actually have to take
Speaker 1: the effort to start making your coffee at home. It's
Speaker 1: not enough to know always should start investing, I should
Speaker 1: start doing that one day, but you actually have to
Speaker 1: take the steps to become informed and to take chances
Speaker 1: to maybe do some things wrong, but to take steps
Speaker 1: in the right direction. Um. And so we have felt
Speaker 1: over the past several weeks UM looking at our black
Speaker 1: brothers and sisters in the personal finance community and realizing
Speaker 1: that knowing that their voices are are powerful and heard,
Speaker 1: are important. Is not enough and that we have not
Speaker 1: done enough to UM to amplify their voices on the
Speaker 1: platform that we have UM. And so we just want
Speaker 1: to admit dropping the ball on that and and to
Speaker 1: admit and to say that we'll do better in the future,
Speaker 1: and just saying it is not enough, but to put
Speaker 1: action to it. And this is one of the actions
Speaker 1: that we hope to be engaging in in our personal
Speaker 1: lives as well as in our professional lives. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: been a real UM soul searching time for me. I
Speaker 1: know we've talked a lot about this as well and
Speaker 1: kind of what what is this require of us for
Speaker 1: the platform that we do have, and this is one
Speaker 1: of the ways and also encouraging all of us to
Speaker 1: put our money where our mouth is too that we
Speaker 1: can be supporting our black brothers and sisters in their
Speaker 1: endeavors with our money, with our voices, with our support
Speaker 1: and so that's yeah, that's my desire. Yeah, because we
Speaker 1: have a podcast, but you have a platform as well,
Speaker 1: and so I hope that UM this episode empowers you
Speaker 1: to take what you have and do with it what
Speaker 1: you can. And we have another episode coming up that
Speaker 1: I'm really excited about recording that I hope will also
Speaker 1: empower you to do what you can with your quote
Speaker 1: unquote platform UM, so to not just know um, but
Speaker 1: to to do. And now our sponsors and first sponsors,
Speaker 1: our sponsors, let's forget it, you know we don't have sponsors.
Speaker 1: Let's get into the interview. H merely so great to
Speaker 1: have you on the podcast, and really excited to talk
Speaker 1: about some of your debt payoff journey. We are a
Speaker 1: little bit long overdue to talk about this on the podcast,
Speaker 1: so I'm sure a lot of our listeners are going
Speaker 1: to be super soaked to hear about your journey. So
Speaker 1: let's start at the beginning. I mean, not like the
Speaker 1: real beginning, not like birth, unless that's where it starts,
Speaker 1: but when you came out of them that yeah, like,
Speaker 1: oh man, I gotta get going on this thing. I
Speaker 1: don't know, maybe, but tell us give us some background,
Speaker 1: like when and how did your debt free journey start? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so my husband and I had both been graduated from college.
Speaker 1: I had been graduated for a couple of years and
Speaker 1: my husband had been graduated for about eight months. And
Speaker 1: the thing that really got us kind of kicked into
Speaker 1: gear was that I reread The Total Money Makeover by
Speaker 1: Dave Ramsey. So that's a book that I had read
Speaker 1: several years before when I was a freshman in college. Um,
Speaker 1: but then I didn't have any debt then, and so
Speaker 1: I just didn't think much of it. So I reread it,
Speaker 1: and Um, what happened was we had a credit card
Speaker 1: and we were paying it off every month. But there
Speaker 1: was one month where my husband purchased something that was
Speaker 1: too expensive for us to pay off that month, and
Speaker 1: oh man, I hated how it felt. It felt so
Speaker 1: so wrong, and so I reread The Total Money Makeover
Speaker 1: and just went crazy. I just I didn't like how
Speaker 1: it felt. I knew we had all these student loans
Speaker 1: that that we had carried with us from college, and
Speaker 1: so that was the real event that kind us kind
Speaker 1: of kicked into gear and started our git free journey.
Speaker 1: So within a few weeks after that, we were making
Speaker 1: payments on our debt, on our debt, extra payments. Wow,
Speaker 1: was your husband on board right away or did that
Speaker 1: take some convincing. I think he was on board pretty quickly.
Speaker 1: He and I were different in approach to money. And
Speaker 1: hopefully I'll get to talk about that a little bit later.
Speaker 1: But he's much more entrepreneurial in the way that he thinks,
Speaker 1: and he's much more liberal with the way he handles
Speaker 1: money and the risks he's willing to take. But he
Speaker 1: did read the Total Money Makeover as well and agreed
Speaker 1: with me that we should get the student loans gone
Speaker 1: and so um, he did read it get on board,
Speaker 1: and he kind of allowed me to take the reins
Speaker 1: and start making extra payments in doing the budget. He
Speaker 1: was happy to see me doing something other than just
Speaker 1: spending our money, so he was he was pretty on board.
Speaker 1: That's a pretty cool place to start in having the
Speaker 1: common ground of having read a book. I think that
Speaker 1: that's there's probably some good tips and wisdom in doing
Speaker 1: that that you have a common framework to be discussing
Speaker 1: and then launch from. Is that how you found that
Speaker 1: to be or is that a recommendation that you would
Speaker 1: have for people? What do you think on that? Absolutely,
Speaker 1: if you can get your spouse to read book or
Speaker 1: read that book, and then I think that that's a
Speaker 1: terrific place to start. My husband is frequently suggesting books
Speaker 1: for me to read that you know, investment books or um,
Speaker 1: all all types of things that he wants me to
Speaker 1: understand where he's coming from. So I think that's very
Speaker 1: very useful if you can get your spouse, sorce significant
Speaker 1: other two to read a book to get on board. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the Total Money Makeover was how we got on board together.
Speaker 1: And my husband is not a big reader. But The
Speaker 1: Total Money Makeover is written in a way where it's
Speaker 1: um got stories sprinkled in and it's more visual, so
Speaker 1: it's really you don't have to read the whole thing
Speaker 1: like a novel, um to get the big pictures. So
Speaker 1: that was really helpful for him. So yeah, I totally
Speaker 1: agree with that. Or there's audio books or podcasts, yeah,
Speaker 1: plug plug ourselves. Yeah, there's all sorts of resources. I
Speaker 1: think I actually read it on my phone. Um, there's
Speaker 1: like an app where you can read free books online,
Speaker 1: and so I think I actually reread it on my phone,
Speaker 1: and then I purchased the paperback copy for my husband
Speaker 1: to read. It doesn't really matter how you access the
Speaker 1: information as long as you access it, so exactly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we talked about in our library episode. Apps Libby and
Speaker 1: hoop La have a ton of e books and audio books. Um,
Speaker 1: so I'm sure you can find it on one of those. Uh.
Speaker 1: But going back, so you mentioned your approaches to money, Um,
Speaker 1: they were different. Uh. Expound on that a little. So
Speaker 1: I would consider myself, um, neither a spender nor a
Speaker 1: saver or him. I can't really say that either one
Speaker 1: of us is strongly one of the other. We're both
Speaker 1: kind of both. But my husband is just so risk tolerant.
Speaker 1: He will put anything out on the line, and he
Speaker 1: believes in himself. He's a really hard worker, he's really smart,
Speaker 1: but he just has a very high tolerance for risks.
Speaker 1: So he's willing to do things with our money that
Speaker 1: I'm not. And I feel like I'm much more conservative,
Speaker 1: so I would rather be putting our money. Let me
Speaker 1: give an example. I'm much more conservative. It's hard for
Speaker 1: me to take risks. It's hard for me to try
Speaker 1: new things. It's hard. It would be hard for me
Speaker 1: to start a business. Um. So for an example, I would,
Speaker 1: you know, at first thought, put our money in a
Speaker 1: four one K because to me, that feels safe. For him,
Speaker 1: that does not feel safe. He does not like that.
Speaker 1: He would much rather invested in a business, invested in himself,
Speaker 1: something that he creates, and that feels very risky. For me,
Speaker 1: and so one or the other may or may not
Speaker 1: be better. It depends on kind of who you are,
Speaker 1: but we just have really different risk tolerance when it
Speaker 1: comes to what we do with our money. Wow, I
Speaker 1: really like the way that you're describing that, that it's
Speaker 1: not like, oh, ones than you just said one is
Speaker 1: not necessarily better than the other. That like, this is
Speaker 1: how he is. He's risk toler and he's entrepreneurial. You
Speaker 1: are more conservative, he's more liberal. And I think it's
Speaker 1: really dignifying to not place like a good or bad
Speaker 1: on either one, but just to recognize this is where
Speaker 1: we both are. And so yeah, probably Jen, you had
Speaker 1: a question about how how do you negotiate that? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's I mean, because it is great because it's hard
Speaker 1: for one the person on one side to see the
Speaker 1: point of view of the person on the other side.
Speaker 1: So I'm really interested to how you guys got to
Speaker 1: this mindset. It's very tricky and we're still navigating it.
Speaker 1: I think we'll be navigating it in our entire lives.
Speaker 1: But what it comes down to is that we have
Speaker 1: to find some kind of compromise. So we recently purchased
Speaker 1: a home and it was very important to me to
Speaker 1: have a kind of a beefed up emergency fund since
Speaker 1: we had that home. He doesn't care about that. He's
Speaker 1: he's totally fine with taking that money and investing it
Speaker 1: in in business ideas and investing in real estate and
Speaker 1: things like that. Lots. He has a lot of great ideas.
Speaker 1: But for me, that feels safe, and he respects that,
Speaker 1: so he's allowing me to do that. But now we
Speaker 1: have this other big chunk of money, and I'm I
Speaker 1: said him, I would rather take this money and put
Speaker 1: it in a four oh one K, But I respect
Speaker 1: you and your opinions and beliefs and desires. So we're
Speaker 1: gonna take that big chunk of money and it's yours,
Speaker 1: do you know, put it where you think you can
Speaker 1: do the best with whatever investment or idea that you have.
Speaker 1: So we we have to both allow each other to
Speaker 1: take chances and to take risks and to do with
Speaker 1: whatever chunk of money we think is best. And that's
Speaker 1: what we're trying to do right now. But I think
Speaker 1: it will be always I think it will always be,
Speaker 1: you know, trying to compromise with each other about that,
Speaker 1: And there's foundational things of respect and believing the best
Speaker 1: in each other that are coming out in those decisions.
Speaker 1: You know, and as we talk about and harp on
Speaker 1: episode after episode, it's not just about money. It brings
Speaker 1: out other value systems and how we relate and all
Speaker 1: these things. So yeah, for you, I see a lot
Speaker 1: of this respect for one another even in finances coming
Speaker 1: out in this which is amazing. That compromise, recognizing that
Speaker 1: it's going to be a lifelong journey and it's not
Speaker 1: just discovered. And here's the magic thing that you implement
Speaker 1: when you've got these two people coming together with their finances.
Speaker 1: So it's really helpful. And I should also add that
Speaker 1: that is not always so easy and simple. Sometimes there's disagreements,
Speaker 1: and sometimes it takes us weeks or there's a standoff
Speaker 1: on what to do with money. It's it's really not
Speaker 1: so simple and so cut and dry. But we're trying
Speaker 1: to work through it. So that's what we'll always be,
Speaker 1: just trying to work through it and and solve each
Speaker 1: problem as we come to it. And I hope that
Speaker 1: we can balance each other out. YEA, even in a
Speaker 1: depth free journey where you're trying to pay offfe fast,
Speaker 1: it's worth it. To take the time to figure these
Speaker 1: things out because I mean a marriage and a life
Speaker 1: and money in general, those are lifelong things. Paying off
Speaker 1: debt doesn't last forever. So yeah, I agree, yeah, but
Speaker 1: it also makes me think up so, like over this time,
Speaker 1: kind of what struggles have you faced um and like overcome?
Speaker 1: So in regards to this specific issue, like how we
Speaker 1: just have seen money differently kind of thing. Anything, I
Speaker 1: feel like that would be a big source of it,
Speaker 1: but obviously doesn't have to be. Yeah, that has been
Speaker 1: a big thing. I think a few months ago we
Speaker 1: kind of got to this place where we were paying
Speaker 1: off debt really rapidly, very intensely, and we kind of
Speaker 1: got to this place where we wanted to re evaluate,
Speaker 1: and so then it became this. Now it's a constant
Speaker 1: discussion every time we have extra money what we're gonna
Speaker 1: do with it. Whereas a year ago or two years ago,
Speaker 1: when we were really rapidly paying off debt, it wasn't
Speaker 1: a discussion we put it towards debt. Period. Now, every
Speaker 1: time there's extra money, it's is it going to the
Speaker 1: emergency fund? Is it going to debt? Are we going
Speaker 1: to buy plane tickets with it? To visit family. Are
Speaker 1: we going to put it towards a rental house? Are
Speaker 1: we gonna invest in a form one K? So now
Speaker 1: there has to be a lot more communication, and that's
Speaker 1: been a struggle that we've had for the last few months,
Speaker 1: is trying to figure out what to do with that
Speaker 1: money since there isn't a super clear, one single goal
Speaker 1: that we're working on right now. Yeah, because you're a
Speaker 1: single income family for the most part, right correct. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And that's so true about the ongoing financial journey that
Speaker 1: that we're talking about in this that yes, there's debt payoff,
Speaker 1: but then what happens after that? And you can be
Speaker 1: so singularly focused on one thing, but then when there
Speaker 1: are more options, Holway smokes, there's a whole lot more
Speaker 1: to talk about and need to compromise on and be
Speaker 1: on the same page with. And yeah, there's always new
Speaker 1: challenges and barriers. Isn't that exciting? Yes, exactly. But honestly,
Speaker 1: we're not done paying off our debt. So when over
Speaker 1: the course of about eighteen months, we paid off about
Speaker 1: fifty thou dollars and now we for the last six
Speaker 1: months have slowed down quite a bit, and we had
Speaker 1: eighteen thousand dollars left all student loans and over that time,
Speaker 1: the last six months is when we've had to make
Speaker 1: all those decisions on But that's what life after debt
Speaker 1: is like. To after that last eight thou dollars is gone,
Speaker 1: that's what it's going to be like for the rest
Speaker 1: of our lives. Is what are we gonna do with
Speaker 1: this money? So yeah, I remember we did not prepare
Speaker 1: well enough when we were paying off our debt for
Speaker 1: that time to come. We stayed laser focused um in
Speaker 1: our heads in the stand for two years um. And
Speaker 1: it was great because we you know, paid it off
Speaker 1: so fast, but we didn't plan what was coming after
Speaker 1: it until maybe like a few weeks before we became
Speaker 1: debt free, and then Hurricane Irma comes through and yeah,
Speaker 1: and and all of this stuff, and we were just
Speaker 1: very unprepared. Yeah. So I mean it's it's not like
Speaker 1: I would, you know, recommend against what we were doing.
Speaker 1: But I love the way that your perspective is on it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So you've paid off a ton of debt, you have
Speaker 1: eighteen thousand left to go, and is this correct to
Speaker 1: see on Instagram that you've got a goal of having
Speaker 1: that gone in two thousand nineteen. For sure, we have
Speaker 1: to be able to do in I know we can.
Speaker 1: And how how many years have you been putting towards it?
Speaker 1: So far you've paid off fifty and how long it's
Speaker 1: been almost exactly two years. So we started January. Dang,
Speaker 1: you guys are going hard at that. Yeah, and almost
Speaker 1: all of that was in the first eighteen months, and
Speaker 1: so we really have paused quite a bit in the
Speaker 1: last six months. But we've also come a long way
Speaker 1: in the last six months. We've and you know, we
Speaker 1: purchased a home, so we've put equity into a home
Speaker 1: and some other things like that. So well, I think
Speaker 1: that that's encouraging for for people to hear. For me,
Speaker 1: at least it is, and I'm sure for our listeners
Speaker 1: that you are doing this, but you're doing it your
Speaker 1: own way. You're making modifications along the way, You're doing
Speaker 1: what works for you. You're compromising with your husband, who
Speaker 1: comes at finances a completely different way. Let's talk about
Speaker 1: some of those modifications. It sounds like you are somewhat
Speaker 1: basing this debt payoff journey and other financial things on
Speaker 1: the Dave Ramsey like baby steps, but also that there's
Speaker 1: some modifications. Can you tell us like what those are
Speaker 1: and and and are you happy with some of those
Speaker 1: choices that you've made. Absolutely, So we started Dave Ramsey
Speaker 1: and we started that in January. And I was really
Speaker 1: a purist. That's just kind of the personality that I have.
Speaker 1: So for about eighteen months, we were paying off a
Speaker 1: ton like three thousand a month or something like that
Speaker 1: towards dead and being really gazelle intense. And that was
Speaker 1: mainly on a single income. I do have a small
Speaker 1: side income, but that was was not really a significant
Speaker 1: part of it. So for the first eighteen months, super
Speaker 1: gazelle intense. And then what happened was I started branching
Speaker 1: out in what kind of financial information I was taking in,
Speaker 1: So I started listening to other podcasts, I started reading books,
Speaker 1: so I started reading other financial books. A couple that
Speaker 1: I read were Jail Collins Simple Path to Wealth Favorite
Speaker 1: that's a good one, and Smart Couples Finished Rich by
Speaker 1: David Bach. And one thing that I realized was that
Speaker 1: while I loved Dave Ramsey's philosophy, and I realized that
Speaker 1: he has this brand that he's selling and he has
Speaker 1: to stick to his brand even if there's some things
Speaker 1: that maybe wouldn't be the best for all types of people,
Speaker 1: like my husband, for example, who doesn't want to work
Speaker 1: until he's six d five at his current career. So
Speaker 1: I realized that there's all these other people out there
Speaker 1: that have been really successful with money. Why am I
Speaker 1: only listening to one person or why am I only
Speaker 1: following one person? So after that I talked to my
Speaker 1: husband and he was like, well, I totally agree. I
Speaker 1: would like to do some other things. And so one
Speaker 1: of the first things we started with is contributing to
Speaker 1: our four oh one k again. So we had um
Speaker 1: stopped paying into our four oh one k, stopped receiving
Speaker 1: my husband's company match, and we were giving up free money.
Speaker 1: And you know, it felt right when we were doing
Speaker 1: it at the time, and I actually don't regret that
Speaker 1: year or year and a half that we didn't do it.
Speaker 1: But we started paying into the four one k again
Speaker 1: and getting our match. Um. That was one of the
Speaker 1: first things we did, and then kind of some other
Speaker 1: things snowballed from there. We we made a move and
Speaker 1: a career change, and we decided to purchase a home
Speaker 1: when we moved, and it was absolutely the right decision
Speaker 1: for our family. We didn't want to be renting again.
Speaker 1: Renting was expensive here. Um, we were going to have
Speaker 1: the cash that it took to pay a down payment,
Speaker 1: and so it was the right move for our family.
Speaker 1: So a couple of a couple of things like that,
Speaker 1: and then, um, you know, we have a larger emergency
Speaker 1: fund than Dave Ramsey would recommend. We're almost at six
Speaker 1: thousand dollars. That's to help if anything happens with our home,
Speaker 1: and that just feels right for us. So those were
Speaker 1: kind of some of the main things that we changed.
Speaker 1: But um, you know Dave Ramsey's baby steps, they're amazing,
Speaker 1: and I still say I'm on baby step too, because
Speaker 1: it's the right framework. You know, it's the right framework.
Speaker 1: But we don't we don't want to retire when we're
Speaker 1: sixty five years old, and so we have to we
Speaker 1: have to work a little bit of a different plan,
Speaker 1: our own plan. Yeah, it's cool to here you say
Speaker 1: that you saw value in sticking laser focus to one thing,
Speaker 1: but then once you got comfortable with that, saying, hey,
Speaker 1: there can be more voices in this pot. I can
Speaker 1: decide for myself. There's freedom in this holy smokes. What
Speaker 1: a novel concept. Yeah, it's it's amazing that journey. I
Speaker 1: hear a lot of people branching off of the emergency
Speaker 1: fund thing, and I think that's why we all have
Speaker 1: to decide for ourselves. What is that going to look like?
Speaker 1: I mean, I remember when I was newly married at
Speaker 1: twenty two and I took a Dave Ramsey course and
Speaker 1: I heard thousand dollar emergency fund. I was like, heck, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can do that. Like it was encouraging for me that, like,
Speaker 1: oh I can do this baby step, like yeah, that's
Speaker 1: that's amazing. And now I'm like, that's not realistic, like
Speaker 1: expensive pop up that are far more than a grand
Speaker 1: like I need more than that. So it's good for
Speaker 1: certain people in certain stages of life, but you've got
Speaker 1: to take into consideration what does your life look like,
Speaker 1: how many kids do you have, where do you live,
Speaker 1: how do you get to work all these things? So
Speaker 1: thanks totally exactly. Yeah, And I see unfortunately, like in
Speaker 1: Facebook groups and Instagram, like, I see a lot of
Speaker 1: like baby steps shaming, and it's so sad because and
Speaker 1: what is baby step? It's people when they're deviating off
Speaker 1: the baby steps, um like the purest will will shame
Speaker 1: them and like make them feel bad for deviating from
Speaker 1: the plan, because that's another sham where the people are
Speaker 1: trolling Jill. But but yeah, so Dave's really adamant about
Speaker 1: working the plan as it is written. And yeah, exactly
Speaker 1: what you said, merrily. He's got a brand to run
Speaker 1: and it's so large he cannot afford to have stipulations
Speaker 1: to every single baby step. So like, I have always
Speaker 1: understood why he does it. But I also deviated from
Speaker 1: some of those baby steps. I just wasn't like vocal
Speaker 1: about it because I can't. I can't be shamed. I'm
Speaker 1: not strong enough exactly exactly those shamers. Man, just freedom
Speaker 1: is better. So and if you have ever been shamed
Speaker 1: for being vocally like deviant from a baby step, like
Speaker 1: know that that you're okay. Like there are a ton
Speaker 1: of people out there and they get started with the
Speaker 1: baby steps and they do them and then they find
Speaker 1: other things that suit them better and they do just fine. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I really have perceived a lot of flak. I think it.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's just the way I word my posts. I'm
Speaker 1: a very like peacemaker type person, like confrontation, So maybe
Speaker 1: when I'm sharing on Instagram, I'm just, you know, not
Speaker 1: as um assertive as some people are. But I really
Speaker 1: haven't gotten any mean feedback. I've gotten nothing but support.
Speaker 1: So I'm so hard sweetheart on Instagram, like nobody, nobody
Speaker 1: should humanly be able to shame you, so sweet. So
Speaker 1: You've got your kids up there and all of your encouragement.
Speaker 1: It's if you have an Instagram, you should definitely follow
Speaker 1: easy underscore budget mm hmm, so good. It's fun stuff.
Speaker 1: I love sharing our journey. It's been good for me.
Speaker 1: Lots of good tips on there too. Yes, So this
Speaker 1: process is taking quite a long time for you, and
Speaker 1: there have been months where you haven't made like any
Speaker 1: debt payment, which I know that I would feel like
Speaker 1: super discouraged. How do you stay motivated through this? And
Speaker 1: how do you plan to stay motivated through two thousand nineteen? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I am a very black and white thinker type of person,
Speaker 1: and so once I've set my mind on a goal,
Speaker 1: I can't let go of it, even you know, even
Speaker 1: if it's not good anymore, I still hang on to
Speaker 1: It's just kind of how I am. And so I'm
Speaker 1: really motivated to get the debt paid off. It's it's
Speaker 1: such a concrete goal, and I think it's so important.
Speaker 1: And so back when we were talking about deviating from
Speaker 1: Dave Ramsey's baby Steps, I think the best way to
Speaker 1: go is to finish baby step two and then kind
Speaker 1: of just fly free, little bird, you know. And so
Speaker 1: I really want to finish that baby step two because
Speaker 1: I think getting rid of the debt is the perfect
Speaker 1: foundation to then figure out your financial future. So I'm
Speaker 1: still really motivated to get that debt gone. And my
Speaker 1: husband still is too, even though he has other ideas
Speaker 1: that are floating around in his mind. So on those
Speaker 1: months when we don't pay off anything, it really stinks.
Speaker 1: But we only do that when we have something else
Speaker 1: that's really important to do. So we're buying plane tickets
Speaker 1: to go visit our family for Christmas, that's the easy decision,
Speaker 1: you know. Or we're taking a little bit of money
Speaker 1: to invest in one of my husband's businesses. It's important
Speaker 1: for him to have the freedom to do that. He
Speaker 1: has a creative mind and if he I can't stifle him,
Speaker 1: that's that right, you know. And so the things that
Speaker 1: were replacing the debt payment with are very important. We're
Speaker 1: not just like spending too much money. You know, it's
Speaker 1: not just a crappy month because we spent way too
Speaker 1: much and we didn't think about it. It's it's a
Speaker 1: no debt payment month because we had something else that
Speaker 1: was really important to do, an active decision making process,
Speaker 1: not just whoops, how did that happen? But oh, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: we planned for this. Which speaking of that, can you
Speaker 1: talk to us a little bit about how you budget
Speaker 1: how often? What does that look like? Oh? Yes, I
Speaker 1: love my budget, so I everybody says that, But seriously,
Speaker 1: if you don't feel that way about your budget, it's
Speaker 1: just because you haven't reached that threshold yet. I used
Speaker 1: to feel that way to like it's like you're in
Speaker 1: the end. Yeah. Really, Um. We we had two kids
Speaker 1: when we were still in college, so I am I
Speaker 1: had graduated in college, but my husband hadn't yet. So
Speaker 1: we were really, really poor. And I tried budgeting so
Speaker 1: many different ways. I tried writing it down on an envelope,
Speaker 1: I tried tracking, and nothing stuck until that moment, you know,
Speaker 1: when I reread the Total Money makeover and my husband
Speaker 1: bought something on the credit card that we couldn't afford,
Speaker 1: and we got really gazelle intense, and I learned about
Speaker 1: zero based budgeting, which is where you track every single
Speaker 1: dollar coming in and every single dollar going out every month.
Speaker 1: That clicked for me so well. I had done just
Speaker 1: you know, lazy budgeting before, where I I was keeping
Speaker 1: track of the things that I purchased, but it wasn't
Speaker 1: zero based. So once I learned a zero based budget,
Speaker 1: I made a spreadsheet on Excel where I tracked every
Speaker 1: single dollar that comes in, every single dollar that's going out,
Speaker 1: and I make a column where I list what I've
Speaker 1: planned and budgeted for, and then a column where I
Speaker 1: list what I actually spent. And then I sit down
Speaker 1: about once a week and I reconcile it to make
Speaker 1: sure that everything on my bank account matches on what's
Speaker 1: on my budget. And I always sit down before we
Speaker 1: get paid, and I'm just keeping track of it regularly.
Speaker 1: Otherwise I get lost and confused if I don't sit
Speaker 1: down that often. So that has worked so well for us.
Speaker 1: That's amazing, Merrily, and it's so cool to hear your
Speaker 1: enthusiasm because it excites me. But I noticed that on
Speaker 1: Instagram that you that you budget weekly, and that's part
Speaker 1: of the reason for my question because I haven't heard
Speaker 1: that before. I hear people say monthly. If that so,
Speaker 1: can you talk to us a little bit bitut, how
Speaker 1: did you choose weekly? How did that come about? Do
Speaker 1: you like that? It sounds like you like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I actually my budget is actually based per pay period.
Speaker 1: So I have like a little budget for all the
Speaker 1: money that we get the first time we get paid
Speaker 1: in the month, and then a little budget for all
Speaker 1: the money that we get paid a second. But I
Speaker 1: actually sit down and reconcile it every week, so I'm
Speaker 1: not actually like creating a new budget every week. I'm
Speaker 1: just sitting down to make sure everything is squared away
Speaker 1: once a week. If I do it less than that,
Speaker 1: like once a month or every two weeks, there's so
Speaker 1: many charges coming in and out that I just get
Speaker 1: lost and confused and I forget what certain things were,
Speaker 1: and it just messes up the whole thing. I can't
Speaker 1: zero it out, so I sit down every week to
Speaker 1: reconcile it to make sure that I can get it
Speaker 1: zeroed out, no where every penny went, and stay on
Speaker 1: top of it. Wow. I'm glad you mentioned that, because
Speaker 1: monthly budgeting can be overwhelming and people. That's the first
Speaker 1: type of budgeting people try. But budgeting per paycheck UM
Speaker 1: or budgeting weekly or even just reconciling weekly is a
Speaker 1: really great idea for starting and maintaining your budget. It's
Speaker 1: much less overwhelming to track transactions once a week than
Speaker 1: once a month. And I'd say budgeting per paycheck is
Speaker 1: the smartest thing because that's when the money is actually
Speaker 1: coming in, and then you need to budget where it's
Speaker 1: actually going. So yeah, I agree to degrees. This can
Speaker 1: still work for people who who do own their own
Speaker 1: businesses or aren't receiving those regular paychecks month the month.
Speaker 1: You can still forecast what you anticipate to be making
Speaker 1: based off of what jobs you have, what clients you
Speaker 1: have lined up. However that looks um Yeah, because that's
Speaker 1: how I do it. I agree. I also like the
Speaker 1: reconciling idea. Thanks for sharing that. That's a really easy,
Speaker 1: I mean way to stay on top of it. It
Speaker 1: may it may not work for everybody, but we love options.
Speaker 1: Keep throwing up options because there is freedom in this process. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: you know what I love even more than zero based budgeting, Jill,
Speaker 1: But I don't love it more than freedom. But it's
Speaker 1: still really great. Freedom, definitely better, But like second best
Speaker 1: is the bill of the week. That's right, it's time
Speaker 1: for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a
Speaker 1: baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you
Speaker 1: paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died, and you're
Speaker 1: happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. That bills,
Speaker 1: Buffalo bills, bill claim. This is the bill of the week.
Speaker 1: Merely every week we have a listener who shares with
Speaker 1: us their favorite bill of the week, and as a
Speaker 1: guest on the show, we'd like to invite you to
Speaker 1: share your bill. So I'm a busy mom. I have
Speaker 1: a four year old and a three year old, and
Speaker 1: I'm pregnant with our third working Yes, I'm working husband,
Speaker 1: and so by far, my favorite bill is our fourteen
Speaker 1: dollars in six cents that we pay every month for
Speaker 1: Amazon Prime. Because I do not like going out and
Speaker 1: going shopping. I order everything I can online and get
Speaker 1: it shipped to my door so I don't have to
Speaker 1: bring my screaming children out in public. Yeah, the freedom
Speaker 1: of shopping at home. Yes, that's the best. I need it.
Speaker 1: I'm never giving it up. Yeah, I think Prime was
Speaker 1: made Her mom's like what's the weirdest that you get
Speaker 1: through Amazon Prime? Oh my gosh. Well, there's this little
Speaker 1: thing called tinkle razors, and I use them to shave
Speaker 1: the little peach fuzz off my face. If you don't
Speaker 1: have you need them. Okay, I'm blonde and I have
Speaker 1: like blonde peach fuzz on my face. So it's not
Speaker 1: like a mustache or anything. But they're these little tiny razors.
Speaker 1: They're called tinkle. I mean, how weird is that? Like
Speaker 1: that's a good name. Okay, all tinkle. You're not just
Speaker 1: googling maybe you know. I saw it through um an
Speaker 1: instagrammer actually a girl named Michelle Money, and she's just
Speaker 1: like a beauty Instagram or whatever, and she just shared
Speaker 1: the hack and you just use it to like scrape
Speaker 1: the peach us off anyway. Face is amazing. It's not
Speaker 1: furrier and and so that's the best thing I get
Speaker 1: through Amazon. They're like five dollars every six months, and
Speaker 1: you don't have to buy them in the store and
Speaker 1: be seen with tinkle razors. If I'm going to get
Speaker 1: a virus on my computer if I look up tinkle razors,
Speaker 1: I have concerned I'll have to or something. We don't
Speaker 1: shut down. Hey, you asked, you all got a weird Yeah,
Speaker 1: you were right on it. You didn't skip a beat. Yeah, girl,
Speaker 1: that's not even the weirdest thing we've heard on Bill
Speaker 1: of the Week. So this thanks for sharing that. I'm
Speaker 1: really glad that Amazon Prime exists for you, Merrily. It
Speaker 1: sounds fantastic. If you want to submit your Bill of
Speaker 1: the week, um, if you also love Amazon Prime, or
Speaker 1: you just want to call and say who do believe?
Speaker 1: Visit Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash bill. Currently our
Speaker 1: Bill the Week tank is empty because we've inserted all
Speaker 1: of them into different episodes, so you could hear yours
Speaker 1: real soon. So definitely Frugal Friends Podcast dot com slash bill.
Speaker 1: Leave us a voicemail right there, boom, let's dive back in,
Speaker 1: Merrily lightning Around. It's not we don't we don't do those, Okay,
Speaker 1: lightning around? Just one question very soon, and it doesn't
Speaker 1: need to be don't understand, I don't know. I just like,
Speaker 1: I just want to say, can you tell us a
Speaker 1: little bit about some side hustles? Fir stay at home moms?
Speaker 1: Is that something you engage in? Do you have thoughts
Speaker 1: on this? Ideas? Tips, what you got. Yes, So I've
Speaker 1: almost always contributed to our finances in some way because honestly,
Speaker 1: when you're a single income family, any bit of second
Speaker 1: income makes a difference. You know, two hundred five hundred
Speaker 1: thousand dollars, all of that makes a huge difference for
Speaker 1: your family. That's your grocery money, or your fun money,
Speaker 1: or your gas money or whatever. So I was working
Speaker 1: at a full time job when my first son was born.
Speaker 1: Then after I quit to be a stay at home mom,
Speaker 1: I started nannying. That was one thing I did, so
Speaker 1: I brought my little guy with me and I worked
Speaker 1: for a family who just needed help with their son
Speaker 1: in the summer and for after school care, and they
Speaker 1: made pretty good money doing that. Then when my second
Speaker 1: daughter was born, I started working for an appraisal company
Speaker 1: and I worked from home and I just basically did
Speaker 1: paperwork and UM assess the appraisals after a home appraiser
Speaker 1: was finished. And I did that for two years and
Speaker 1: I made probably about five D eight hundred dollars a
Speaker 1: month doing that, and that was just on the workload
Speaker 1: that I took on. And then UM, I started doing
Speaker 1: easy budget so you know, I UM will talk more
Speaker 1: about that later, probably by I run my little X
Speaker 1: shop and that was bringing in money too. It still is,
Speaker 1: and so I've always contributed just doing all these little things,
Speaker 1: and every little dollar that's brought in helps my family immensely.
Speaker 1: So my thing that I would recommend to moms, especially
Speaker 1: stay at home moms, if you're looking for a job,
Speaker 1: is to be creative and ask around. The way that
Speaker 1: I got that little appraisal job, which was awesome, was
Speaker 1: through a friend and it was just a random little
Speaker 1: side job that only a couple of people would would
Speaker 1: hear about by word of mouth. But ask around on Facebook.
Speaker 1: Let people know that you're looking for something from home,
Speaker 1: and you'll be surprised what you can find. There are
Speaker 1: lots some jobs that you can do from home now,
Speaker 1: and you know, word of mouth is the best way
Speaker 1: to find those little gems. That's great. Can you talk
Speaker 1: a little bit about how doable, how feasible, how reasonable
Speaker 1: is it for you to do some of these side
Speaker 1: things at at home? Yeah, that's nice. It provides some flexibility,
Speaker 1: but you're still working. So what does that look like
Speaker 1: when you've got two kids like to almost like pretty
Speaker 1: much toddlers, and then growing another human inside of you,
Speaker 1: which I'm sure it takes energy. How how reasonable is
Speaker 1: it to be like, yeah, and I'm also going to
Speaker 1: throw on more work on myself. Yeah, because I hear
Speaker 1: that's like the biggest When I talked to two moms,
Speaker 1: that's their biggest hold up is like, but I'm going
Speaker 1: to still exists. Yeah. Absolutely. It's very tricky. So one
Speaker 1: of the reasons that I quit the appraisal job I
Speaker 1: was doing and just switched to easy budget was because
Speaker 1: I was only able to do that job during naptime.
Speaker 1: It required calling people for something for a short interview.
Speaker 1: Can only do it during naptime, and it was really stressful.
Speaker 1: I had to get my kids done for a nap
Speaker 1: that day or I couldn't do my job, and it
Speaker 1: was really really hard. So I think you've really nailed
Speaker 1: it on the head that it's tricky and it's not
Speaker 1: going to be for every mom. So you need to
Speaker 1: find something that you can do and spare time if
Speaker 1: you want to do anything at all, or you know,
Speaker 1: it just depends on the mom. Some moms are twiddling
Speaker 1: their thumbs and wasting time on social media. I do
Speaker 1: that a lot, and they have time. They have time
Speaker 1: and they need and they want to be productive and
Speaker 1: they want to feel like they're contributing, and they want
Speaker 1: to use this creative energy that they have, And a
Speaker 1: side hustle is perfect for that kind of mom. If
Speaker 1: you're a mom that's barely keeping your head above water
Speaker 1: and you've got one or a bunch of little kids
Speaker 1: around and and you're just you know, you can't fathom
Speaker 1: having a side hustle, it's not for you. What you
Speaker 1: do is plenty, it's enough. It's very important. Kids need attention,
Speaker 1: they need time, they need love, and that's plenty. So
Speaker 1: just depends on what my mom, you are, season of
Speaker 1: life you're in again. Freedom. Something that comes to mind
Speaker 1: for me here is that there's different seasons and there
Speaker 1: is different capacity. Some people do have capacity for a
Speaker 1: lot in their life more than others. Okay, so that's
Speaker 1: like on the table, but also different seasons. So I'm
Speaker 1: sure that once this third child comes into this world, like,
Speaker 1: that's gonna make some shifts for you and and for others.
Speaker 1: You know, it's different when your kids are at her
Speaker 1: home versus when they're in school and all of these things.
Speaker 1: So just yeah, I mean again, freedom, freedom for everybody
Speaker 1: but like for moms too, because I know that this
Speaker 1: can be like, well what is other moms doing and
Speaker 1: why can't I do enough? And why can't I do?
Speaker 1: So this is just offering options. But yeah, the different
Speaker 1: seasons and the different capacities is a really big thing here.
Speaker 1: And what you said that if this is, this may
Speaker 1: not be for everybody, So don't feel like you're listening
Speaker 1: to this and that there's more pressure or shame to
Speaker 1: like take on something more. I totally agree. You know,
Speaker 1: most of what I was doing was out of necessity.
Speaker 1: When we were those first couple of side hustles. We
Speaker 1: we were so poor. We were in college and my
Speaker 1: husband couldn't work, he was an engineering major. We needed
Speaker 1: money or we weren't going to eat, and so that's
Speaker 1: how desperate it was. Now it's less desperate, much more flexible.
Speaker 1: So the seasons they make a huge difference in what
Speaker 1: you're capable of doing. I totally agree. Yeah, there's this
Speaker 1: Instagram post running around that says women are expected to
Speaker 1: work like they don't have children and raised children like
Speaker 1: they don't have jobs. Yes, and totally true. It's yeah,
Speaker 1: like you don't have to do both. There's there's grace
Speaker 1: and freedom. So I love your perspective on that. I
Speaker 1: hope all moms here that and just realize, like where
Speaker 1: you are right now is okay, and if you want
Speaker 1: to be somewhere else, then you can do that. But
Speaker 1: if you can't, don't feel pressured to, don't feel guilt.
Speaker 1: Find what works for you, and what works for you
Speaker 1: may change next month and then okay, so merely tell
Speaker 1: us about easy budget and you're etsy story. You got
Speaker 1: some cool stuff in there. Yeah. So when we started
Speaker 1: a debt free journey, we realized that I was a
Speaker 1: very end driven person, so I needed to know when
Speaker 1: our debt was going to be paid off or I
Speaker 1: couldn't even start this thing. So my husband, he's a genius,
Speaker 1: he's an engineer. He's like, I can whip up a
Speaker 1: calculator spreadsheet that can calculate our debt path and I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, sure, So he did and it was amazing,
Speaker 1: and we were able to plug in all of the
Speaker 1: extra debt payments that we wanted to make. We were
Speaker 1: able to plug in how much we wanted to pay
Speaker 1: towards that every month, and it would it told us
Speaker 1: when we would be debt free and that that end
Speaker 1: goal was so motivating for me. It's like I compare
Speaker 1: it to trying, you know, going out running and not
Speaker 1: knowing how far you're gonna run, or like running a
Speaker 1: marathon but you don't know if it's going to be
Speaker 1: thirty miles or ten miles. It makes a difference, you know.
Speaker 1: And so knowing the end made a huge difference for
Speaker 1: for us. And so then my husband's like, hey, we
Speaker 1: can we can market this, like people need a product
Speaker 1: like this. There's nothing really good online that really works.
Speaker 1: I know, I know, he never he never stops you guys,
Speaker 1: He's he's a serial entrepreneur. So most very enjoy that
Speaker 1: life you've got. I Um, I started my Instagram where
Speaker 1: I basically just started sharing our journey and then I
Speaker 1: started sharing the calculator too. And one of the reasons
Speaker 1: I decided to put it on etc. And charge people
Speaker 1: for it and not just make it a free resource
Speaker 1: was because, first of all, um side hustle. Second of all,
Speaker 1: I don't have a blog or anything. All I have
Speaker 1: is my Instagram, so I don't have affiliate income or
Speaker 1: anything like that. And because people really value what they
Speaker 1: paid for if you get something for free or you
Speaker 1: know it's free. You might never open it, you might
Speaker 1: never look at it. You might spend one minute tinkering
Speaker 1: with it and then throw it away. You've paid for something,
Speaker 1: you value it, you want to use it, you want
Speaker 1: to make sure it works. And that's the kind of
Speaker 1: thing that I think helps people. So I think I've
Speaker 1: gotten more people to look at it, more people to
Speaker 1: use it, and actually help more people pay off their
Speaker 1: debt by by charging for it on my Etsy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's inexpensive for what it's providing. It's great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's only ten bucks, so very cheap, and it's just
Speaker 1: kind of a neat little tool to have in your
Speaker 1: armory when you're paying off debt. Yeah, fantastic. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: if you're serious about paying off your debt and you
Speaker 1: need a good debt snowball calculator, we will have Merrily's
Speaker 1: Etsy store link in our show notes and definitely go
Speaker 1: pick that up. Yeah, you can find us easy Budget
Speaker 1: on Etsy and easy Underscore Budget on Instagram too. Yes,
Speaker 1: definitely check both of those out. And thanks so much
Speaker 1: Merrily for hanging out with us. This has been super
Speaker 1: fun and enlightening and I've I've loved it and incur. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you guys are fun. I need to do this more often.
Speaker 1: It's just fun to have somebody to talk to. You're
Speaker 1: welcome to do it is you know, kids are in
Speaker 1: bad it's fun. It is fun. This has been great.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for having me on you guys. Thanks
Speaker 1: for joining us Merrily. Thank you so much for listening
Speaker 1: to our interview with Merrily. I hope you if you
Speaker 1: didn't catch it the first time, that you got something
Speaker 1: out of it. And if you did that, maybe you
Speaker 1: took away something new and uh yeah, that's yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what there's to say. That's what I have to
Speaker 1: say about that. We also want to continue thinking all
Speaker 1: of you who are listening to us, and for your
Speaker 1: kind kind reviews on iTunes and Stitcher like this one.
Speaker 1: This one's called Frugal and Fun and it comes from Mary.
Speaker 1: She says, I love that Jen and Jill provide great
Speaker 1: advice about frugality in a fun and relatable way. I
Speaker 1: also love that they make a clear distinction between being
Speaker 1: frugal and being cheap. Great podcast for a woman in
Speaker 1: her late twenties who is trying to make smart choices
Speaker 1: with her finances. Mary so helpful. Mary to know who
Speaker 1: this podcast is great for, so others who are in
Speaker 1: their twenties can know they might get some good tips. Yeah,
Speaker 1: even though we're out of our twenties yaikes, but we can.
Speaker 1: We can still talk to you we think about. We
Speaker 1: also want to thank our friends who shared these episodes
Speaker 1: on social media. So um, if you've been sharing on
Speaker 1: Facebook or Instagram and tagging us at Frugal Friends Podcasts,
Speaker 1: um send us a screenshot or just make sure we
Speaker 1: get it in our you know, in our social media tags,
Speaker 1: so you can be entered for a ten dollar Amazon
Speaker 1: gift card and keep leaving us your reviews on iTunes
Speaker 1: or Stitcher and screenshotting those reviews and emailing them to
Speaker 1: Frugal Friends Podcasts at gmail dot com. Don't forget to
Speaker 1: tag us both ways enter you into our drawing for
Speaker 1: today Amazon gift car doesn't want that. We will see
Speaker 1: you next week with a really awesome episode. I'm sure
Speaker 1: you're sitting on the side of your seat in your car,
Speaker 1: just the side of it. The side of it. That's
Speaker 1: it by Frugal Friends is produced, edited and mixed by
Speaker 1: Eric Syria. Um, thank you for your assaults. Are earlier
Speaker 1: to get the stain out of my shirt. You are welcome.
Speaker 1: It did get the stain out, mostly mostly Jen. Literally.
Speaker 1: I got raspberry vinaigrette salad dressing on my white white shirt,
Speaker 1: and Jen and very quickly offered me the very beverage
Speaker 1: she was currently drinking, which happened to be a Seltzer,
Speaker 1: which I guess could get stains out. I think poured
Speaker 1: it on my white shirt. I could be wrong, um,
Speaker 1: but I thought that that's no I like to happen.
Speaker 1: Club soda is often used to get stains out, and
Speaker 1: it's like, I get it, what your mind went to.
Speaker 1: That's probably the same thing. Zero calorie, zero sweeter, though
Speaker 1: I am seeing like a bigger stain. It looks like
Speaker 1: a shadow. Yeah, I think. Well, it's all dried up.
Speaker 1: Now we're ready for a video on her next episode.
Speaker 1: Bye already