Speaker 1: What about Oprah? You just guy, Oprah is a true
Speaker 1: identity leader? Why is Oprah a true identity leader?
Speaker 2: Or she's so smart, so bright, very kind, just given
Speaker 2: so much to the world. It's just unbelievable what she's
Speaker 2: been able to do. I can't even believe it myself.
Speaker 1: Today. It's great to have educator, author, businessman, and public
Speaker 1: speaker Steadman Graham on the podcast. Many people have heard
Speaker 1: of Steedman as the longtime partner of Oprah Winfrey, but
Speaker 1: he's much more than that, and as we discussed in
Speaker 1: the episode today, Steedman's groundbreaking work has really unearthed the
Speaker 1: importance of identity leadership, which is based on the philosophy
Speaker 1: that if you can't lead yourself, you can't lead anyone else.
Speaker 1: According to Steedman, successful people know who they are, are
Speaker 1: clear what matters to them, and create value for themselves
Speaker 1: and others. Steedman's life dramatically changed when he begins central
Speaker 1: all that he does around his own talents, strengths, and passions.
Speaker 1: As you'll see in this episode, we both share a
Speaker 1: great love of self actualization. I hope I was also
Speaker 1: able to shine a light on Steedman as a human
Speaker 1: and that you get to know him a little bit
Speaker 1: better as well. So, without further ado, I bring you
Speaker 1: dead Men Graham. Dead Men Graham, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for being on the Psychology Podcast.
Speaker 2: Scott, thank you for having me. I appreciate all the
Speaker 2: work that you're doing, and it's great to learn about
Speaker 2: all that you're planning to do in the future.
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you. That's really kind of you. You know,
Speaker 1: we have a lot of interest, including your life mission, which,
Speaker 1: as you've said, I've dedicated my life to this work
Speaker 1: of teaching people throughout the world how to self actualize
Speaker 1: their potential as human beings. Wow. That's a pretty exciting,
Speaker 1: exciting dream. But I want to actually start with the
Speaker 1: question of who is Dedmond Graham. I want to get
Speaker 1: to know you a little bit better. First.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm an author. Uh, you know, I love education.
Speaker 2: I'm a veteran. I have worked in this field for
Speaker 2: a long time. I've kind of dedicated my life to identity, UH,
Speaker 2: teaching people how to find out who they are, how
Speaker 2: to organize your life around themselves, how to you know,
Speaker 2: take information and make it relevant to their to their development,
Speaker 2: their personal profession of development. UH, teaching them how to
Speaker 2: learn how to learn, and you know, I I I
Speaker 2: enjoyed that work. I don't know what else to do.
Speaker 2: You know, I love athletics, I love to travel, so
Speaker 2: all of that works.
Speaker 1: You have a master's degree in education, right.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, from Ball State University. I really enjoyed my
Speaker 2: time at ball State and uh, even though I went
Speaker 2: to school over in the European campus over in Germany,
Speaker 2: it was it was a great experience for me.
Speaker 1: What what now? What sports did you play? You're a
Speaker 1: good athlete, right.
Speaker 2: Uh, if you let me tell it, m h. Yeah,
Speaker 2: So I enjoyed, uh, you know, playing basketball and tennis.
Speaker 2: And I'm a big golfer now, so I enjoyed a
Speaker 2: lot of sports.
Speaker 1: So now, when did you get interested in the idea
Speaker 1: of self actualization?
Speaker 2: Well, I think I got really interested in it at
Speaker 2: an early age, trying to I didn't know what it
Speaker 2: was or what the name of the name of it,
Speaker 2: you know, the name of it, what I would call
Speaker 2: it back then. That's what I'm trying to say. But
Speaker 2: you know, I think everything's about self actualization and self development.
Speaker 2: You people are looking to try to figure out who
Speaker 2: they are, and they don't really have a name for it.
Speaker 2: So you know, early on in life, you know, I
Speaker 2: was trying to figure out again, you know, what my
Speaker 2: purpose was and all of that, and you know, and
Speaker 2: trying to do the best I could possibly could do
Speaker 2: based on my circumstances.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you say, quote, my life dramatically changed for
Speaker 1: the better when I began centering all that I do
Speaker 1: around my talent, strengths and passions. Well, what was your
Speaker 1: life like before that?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean you just told basically Scott to get
Speaker 2: a job, go to school, and go to work and
Speaker 2: all of that. That's pretty much what you do. And
Speaker 2: so I tried to do all of that. I worked
Speaker 2: in the prison system, you know, a while, I worked
Speaker 2: in public relations and marketing. I served in the US Army,
Speaker 2: I played ball in Europe. You know, I tried to
Speaker 2: do all the things that I needed to do to
Speaker 2: just like everybody else. And and you really kind of
Speaker 2: focus on the outside world was a way to define
Speaker 2: your existence because you really don't know who you are
Speaker 2: and you're looking for it on the outside. And it
Speaker 2: took me a long time to realize that. You know,
Speaker 2: if you're looking for freedom on the outside, you never
Speaker 2: find your freedom is only on the inside.
Speaker 1: There's a great truth. But I don't think a lot
Speaker 1: of people really have gotten have gotten that memo. You
Speaker 1: played basketball in Europe? Is that right?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I did a position.
Speaker 2: I was a small forward, so I like to, you know,
Speaker 2: shoot in the corner, and that was my main shot.
Speaker 2: And I played in school of course in college, and
Speaker 2: then when I got to in the Army, I went
Speaker 2: over to who they sent me into Europe and I
Speaker 2: got a chance to play ball for the service as
Speaker 2: well as being picked up by a team over there
Speaker 2: and started playing ball with them and traveling around throughout
Speaker 2: Europe and all of that. So it was a great
Speaker 2: experience for me.
Speaker 1: That's so cool. I love basketball. What is like one
Speaker 1: other thing that people about you, something about yourself that
Speaker 1: people might be surprised to hear.
Speaker 2: I think probably how dedicated I am to the work
Speaker 2: that I do now, which is identity leadership, and I
Speaker 2: mean and the self actualization work that you talk about
Speaker 2: a lot and that you're involved in. I think being
Speaker 2: able to do this work, as you know, it's a
Speaker 2: twenty four to seven job. I mean, I spent all
Speaker 2: my time really trying to build these programs and we're
Speaker 2: in the schools and we have a college program, and
Speaker 2: we have a corporate program, and we train people all
Speaker 2: over the world. And now we have the ability to
Speaker 2: virtually train people, which is fantastic to be able to
Speaker 2: use technology as a way to deliver this message. So
Speaker 2: I'm excited about all of that.
Speaker 1: I'm excited too. That is very exciting.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: You say identity leadership is self leadership, and it's based
Speaker 1: on the philosophy that if you can't lead yourself, you
Speaker 1: can't lead anyone else. Anything else you want to add
Speaker 1: about that, you're sort of your definition of identity leadership.
Speaker 2: Well, I think that's a pretty good definition. Self leadership
Speaker 2: is everything. You can't lead anybody else until your first
Speaker 2: lead yourself, and most people don't know how to do that.
Speaker 2: They're kind of stuck in the box, stilling the same
Speaker 2: thing over and over every single day. You know, they
Speaker 2: wake up in the morning, they watch the face, you
Speaker 2: brush your teeth, They get something to eat, they get
Speaker 2: the kids off the school, work all day, come home
Speaker 2: in the afternoon, they spend time with the family, they
Speaker 2: watch TV, they go to bed, and maybe they dream,
Speaker 2: and then they repeat that same cycle over and over,
Speaker 2: you know, every day. You know, if you did the
Speaker 2: same thing you did yesterday, as you will do today,
Speaker 2: as you will do tomorrow. What have you done? The
Speaker 2: answer would be probably nothing, because you've done the same thing.
Speaker 2: You're not thinking, you're not developing, you're not creating, you're
Speaker 2: not designing your own future. And then you go to school,
Speaker 2: and school teaches how to memorize and take tests or
Speaker 2: repeat information back. You get labeled with a grade two
Speaker 2: weeks later. If I asked you what you learn, you'd
Speaker 2: probably say I forgot or I don't remember. And so
Speaker 2: you know, I often tell my audiences and people that
Speaker 2: I train nothing for nothing. There's nothing. So the most
Speaker 2: important thing that you have, the most important question to
Speaker 2: anyone wherever I ask you, is you know who you are?
Speaker 2: And that requires some real internal thinking, requires you having
Speaker 2: some self discovery about what your talents are, what your
Speaker 2: abilities are, what you love, what you care about, what
Speaker 2: your interests are. So as you can begin to, as
Speaker 2: you say it self actualize your potential as a human
Speaker 2: being and have a foundation for production and excellence and
Speaker 2: opportunity to be able to organize the global marketplace. And
Speaker 2: now we have access to technology as a way to
Speaker 2: define our existence. It's really a gift. I mean, you
Speaker 2: couldn't have a better time than today to probably be
Speaker 2: alive because you have access to content and resources and
Speaker 2: opportunities globally and you're able to take that information, which
Speaker 2: is you know, teaching people to learn how to learn,
Speaker 2: which is what I try to do. Change the learning
Speaker 2: system around where they make everything relevant to their personal
Speaker 2: professional development so they can grow, so they can create opportunities,
Speaker 2: so they can expand their ability to be an expert
Speaker 2: in their field and then serve the world based on
Speaker 2: what they create for themselves.
Speaker 1: That's beautiful. Yeah, there are a lot of things in
Speaker 1: your book that really resonated with me. One thing was
Speaker 1: that you said, don't wait for others to define who
Speaker 1: you are or what your potential is. Man, I really
Speaker 1: resonated with that. I wasn't special at as a kid
Speaker 1: for an auditory disability, and there was a point where
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not going to let that define
Speaker 1: me anymore, and it really changed my life. So I
Speaker 1: think there's really a deep, profound truth there to that.
Speaker 2: Well, it's great to just say that because I mean,
Speaker 2: you know, again, I grew up to special need brothers
Speaker 2: in my family, and they had you know, a lot
Speaker 2: of opportunity and you know, focusing on their talents and
Speaker 2: their skills and their ability. I mean, that is what
Speaker 2: it's all about. It's just take what you have, take
Speaker 2: your strengths, take what you do well, take what makes
Speaker 2: you happy, begin to organize that, be conscious of what
Speaker 2: that is, and then then apply information to that. And
Speaker 2: so if you have people that can help you do that,
Speaker 2: especially in that particular segment, especially as segment boy, I mean,
Speaker 2: they can do much more than they're doing now with
Speaker 2: the right kind of program. So I think that's that's
Speaker 2: a great statement.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so too. I mean, as a leader,
Speaker 1: how can you see this potential in others before you
Speaker 1: know they even see it in themselves. I mean, I
Speaker 1: think that's one aspect of being a great leader is
Speaker 1: kind of having that strength spotting ability, right.
Speaker 2: Well. People have to be trained, I think, and have
Speaker 2: to be away of what's possible, and so oftentimes you
Speaker 2: don't know that yourself, you know, which is why your
Speaker 2: relationships are so very important, and having mentorship is so
Speaker 2: very important. I've had a lot of mentors in my life,
Speaker 2: and being able to understand how to put the pieces
Speaker 2: of the puzzle together. You might have a picture of
Speaker 2: who you want to become, a vision of who you
Speaker 2: want to become, but you actually don't know how to
Speaker 2: put that together, and a lot of times you need help.
Speaker 2: You know, you need to have a team of people
Speaker 2: or a support system. You know, no one makes it alone.
Speaker 2: No man or woman is an ale into themselves, so
Speaker 2: you can't make it by yourself. You need a team
Speaker 2: of people that can help you do that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I mean, I think that's really important to mention
Speaker 1: that because a lot of people might think like so
Speaker 1: self leadership it sounds so devoid of context or devoid
Speaker 1: of support systems. But these are not either or things, right,
Speaker 1: I mean, you can have self leadership and also really
Speaker 1: require a strong support system.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, you you attract who you are, so
Speaker 2: your ability to work on yourself allows you to have
Speaker 2: more access and more opportunity with people who are who
Speaker 2: are like minded with you based on where you want
Speaker 2: to go and who you want to become. You know,
Speaker 2: I know who you are. You know you're doing the
Speaker 2: same thing over and over, which represents about eight billion
Speaker 2: people in the world. We're pretty much stuck who are
Speaker 2: not thinking of developing a building so when you start
Speaker 2: to really focus on your own value and realize that
Speaker 2: the value that you give yourself is the value of
Speaker 2: the world gives you. The world sees you as you
Speaker 2: see yourself, and so how you begin to change and grow,
Speaker 2: which is what you have to do today in the
Speaker 2: twenty first century, because the world is moving forward. Everybody's
Speaker 2: talking about AI, you know, futuristics things, and so you've
Speaker 2: got to be able to adapt to that. And the
Speaker 2: way you adapt is, like Einstein said, you cannot solve
Speaker 2: a problem with the same mindset that cause it. You've
Speaker 2: got to be able to change the ways you think.
Speaker 2: You've got to be a reader. You have to be
Speaker 2: a learner. You have to be a developer of your
Speaker 2: own life, and so that you can adjust, change, grow, build, create,
Speaker 2: design your future and flow with the way the world
Speaker 2: is going, which is you know, globally it's going, globally
Speaker 2: is going. You know, you got you create a lot
Speaker 2: of networks and build a lot of relationships, and you
Speaker 2: know you've got to constantly be a learner and self
Speaker 2: directed and lifelong. You've got to be a lifelong learner.
Speaker 2: So it's continuous.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. Well we can double click a little
Speaker 1: bit on the main aspects of self leadership, self awareness,
Speaker 1: self management, other awareness, and other me management. Where did
Speaker 1: you kind of come up with that framework?
Speaker 2: Well, you know, I mean I was defined by race
Speaker 2: and define early on in my life, and so that
Speaker 2: was a label. And you know, when you don't know
Speaker 2: who you are, you buy into the labels. It's socially
Speaker 2: constructive design, labels that define your existence. And you know,
Speaker 2: defined by basketball sports, and defined by family, and defined
Speaker 2: by of course my relationship with Oprah being defined by that.
Speaker 2: And so you don't know how to define your own existence,
Speaker 2: and the world defines you and they put you in
Speaker 2: a box and they label you based on that box,
Speaker 2: and you know, you buy into a lot of that.
Speaker 2: And so you know, there's no tools to self actualize
Speaker 2: your own potential or to define your own existence because
Speaker 2: it's not in the curriculum. You don't have a regulum.
Speaker 2: So you know, So I spent my life a lot
Speaker 2: of a lot of time in my in my journey
Speaker 2: to be able to figure out how to organize a process,
Speaker 2: which is what I teach, a nine step success process
Speaker 2: that teaches you how to organize your life around yourself,
Speaker 2: self actualize your potential as a as a human being,
Speaker 2: find out who you are, Discover who you are, create
Speaker 2: a vision for yourself, organize plans and goals, and be
Speaker 2: able to kind of be a you know, a strong dreamer,
Speaker 2: a strong self actualization, be able to self actualize your
Speaker 2: dreams that you have, you know, or your thoughts or
Speaker 2: your your ideas, and so you know, those things are
Speaker 2: very important as opposed to just kind of doing the
Speaker 2: same thing over and over, getting stuck and really not
Speaker 2: being able to grow, develop, build or create your own opportunity.
Speaker 1: You know, you you place these in the order for
Speaker 1: a reason. There's a certain praiers. So you say, you
Speaker 1: have to be self aware before you can learn how
Speaker 1: to be a self manager and nurture your abilities, emotions
Speaker 1: and leadership capacities. And you need both self awareness and
Speaker 1: self management before you can be aware of others needs
Speaker 1: and the potential. And you need and you need the
Speaker 1: other awareness before you can grow the potential in others.
Speaker 1: I think that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, we put them in
Speaker 2: a sequence. So sequence is very important because you follow
Speaker 2: our process. And when I learned how to process, you know,
Speaker 2: you basically I learned how to think and organize. Order
Speaker 2: is the highest level of development. So you're you're constantly
Speaker 2: trying to put things in place so that they actually work.
Speaker 2: You know, you paint the picture with a vision, and
Speaker 2: then what you do is you build backwards with the
Speaker 2: pieces and you put the pieces in place to you know,
Speaker 2: kind of like a puzzle. You know, they come together
Speaker 2: over a long period of time, but the challenge is
Speaker 2: organizing pieces of the puzzle and putting them in place
Speaker 2: so that you could actually paint the picture. And you
Speaker 2: know where you're going, and you're also clear. You have
Speaker 2: the confidence and the ability to be able to communicate
Speaker 2: exactly what your role is going to be, and you
Speaker 2: know what you're trying to achieve to other people, which
Speaker 2: aligns you with you know, other relationships. And you continue
Speaker 2: to develop a process of improvement all the time because
Speaker 2: you're working on yourself. You're working on yourself, and then
Speaker 2: the internal turns into external. It turns into all the
Speaker 2: external things that you are trying to get in your
Speaker 2: life to add more value to what you're doing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, you got to be thinking a lot
Speaker 1: about this idea of identity because I feel like we're
Speaker 1: in a culture that's you know, a lot of people
Speaker 1: play identity politics where they folk. When they say use
Speaker 1: the word identity, they're really focusing like demographics, or focusing
Speaker 1: on like skin color or gender identity. You're using identity
Speaker 1: in a much broader way to focus on people's talents
Speaker 1: and passions. And I just wonder what would happen if
Speaker 1: our conversation in our country was more a more expanded
Speaker 1: idea of identity. Have you put any thought into that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's be very interesting. I think identity
Speaker 2: is for all of us, you know it's not. I
Speaker 2: think it's for all of it that it is for
Speaker 2: all of us. What makes a difference where you're from,
Speaker 2: what language you speak, or what country you're in. You know,
Speaker 2: everybody's trying to figure out how to create value in
Speaker 2: their life. The value that you give yourself as a value,
Speaker 2: the work the world gives you, The world sees you
Speaker 2: as you see yourself. So everybody's focused on the self,
Speaker 2: you know, whether they admit it or not. And so
Speaker 2: you can't, you know, drink from an empty cup, and
Speaker 2: you can't give what you don't. So to be able
Speaker 2: to figure out how to be the best self that
Speaker 2: you can and then turn that into leadership for yourself
Speaker 2: first and then leadership for others, because you're so passionate
Speaker 2: about your work, You're so you love what you do.
Speaker 2: You you know you're not mad at other people based
Speaker 2: on their accomplishments because you're able to again, you know,
Speaker 2: you're happy with who you are as a person. And
Speaker 2: so identity is like, I don't even know how you
Speaker 2: do it today without having an identity, I really don't.
Speaker 2: So your ability to again utilize content and information and
Speaker 2: make it relevant to who you are is that's really
Speaker 2: a kind of that's a gift.
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely. I'm just saying that when you use the
Speaker 1: term identity, I think you're using it a little bit
Speaker 1: different way than how a lot of people. What people
Speaker 1: are focused on right now, and you know, skin color
Speaker 1: and things like that, and we're you're from and how
Speaker 1: poor you are, and I what I see is your
Speaker 1: way of using a day just feels very empowering to me.
Speaker 1: It feels like the opposite of a victim mindset. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm saying this is just my observation of reading your
Speaker 1: work and why it resonates with me because you are
Speaker 1: talking about creating a life based on your passions and strengths.
Speaker 1: I think that should be available to everyone, and I'm
Speaker 1: sure you agree with that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, that's what we're trying to do is
Speaker 2: get people to understand the value of themselves and not
Speaker 2: be stuck on you know, labels and all the external
Speaker 2: things that define them oftentimes. And you know, all of
Speaker 2: this is based on the word love, the most powerful
Speaker 2: word in the world, you know, being able to choose
Speaker 2: love as a way to organize your life around what
Speaker 2: you love. So we put it more in practical terms,
Speaker 2: in terms of changing the energy around so that you
Speaker 2: could be more productive and achieve more because you're focusing
Speaker 2: on what you can do as opposed to what you
Speaker 2: can't do, looking at the class half full as opposed
Speaker 2: to have empty. You know, I know when you focus
Speaker 2: on negative, negative comes back to you. The law of
Speaker 2: attraction says whatever you put out comes back. So to
Speaker 2: be able to transform yourself, you know, has to happen
Speaker 2: with loving yourself and caring for yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Absolutely. And also I'm going to guess and that
Speaker 1: you also talk about about the importance of changing the
Speaker 1: way you think and feel about yourself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I mean changing the way you think and
Speaker 2: feel about yourself. Again, I go back to what Einstein said,
Speaker 2: You cannot solve a problem with the same mindset that
Speaker 2: caused it. So your ability to be able to read more,
Speaker 2: learn more, experience more allows you to have a different
Speaker 2: perspective and to apply that to your own personal professional development. Man,
Speaker 2: And to be able to you know, read content, think
Speaker 2: about it, you know, figure out new ways to apply
Speaker 2: it to your own development. That's I mean that changed
Speaker 2: My life changed when I learned that, when I learned
Speaker 2: how to learn.
Speaker 1: Yeah, me too, man, me too. Yeah, I was you know,
Speaker 1: going from a wasn't even college bound to you know,
Speaker 1: I actually love learning. Was such a huge shift for me,
Speaker 1: and looks like it was for you too well.
Speaker 2: Obviously you're very bright and very smart. I'm so glad
Speaker 2: you discovered it because what you're doing now is you're
Speaker 2: empowering people and you're writing books, and that would never
Speaker 2: have happened if you had to discover it. You know
Speaker 2: how to organize content and make it relevant to your
Speaker 2: personal and professional empowerment.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, And it also took you know, the support of
Speaker 1: a few a few people, you know, one one person
Speaker 1: who asked me in special show had a special teacher
Speaker 1: what are you still doing here? And just that one question? Man,
Speaker 1: isn't it so powerful? How just like one question from
Speaker 1: someone can completely change your whole life?
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. It's all about the questions. You know,
Speaker 2: who are you? What's your vision? What's your plan? You know,
Speaker 2: what are your rules of the road, what are your
Speaker 2: barriers to success? You know, it's all about answering the questions.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but even just like the support of one other
Speaker 1: person can be so powerful.
Speaker 2: Yes, I want to talk.
Speaker 1: About some examples of you know, kind of make this
Speaker 1: come alive. You talk about someone called Sidney Weinberg who
Speaker 1: went from janitor. I love stories like this. So you
Speaker 1: got me all excited when I read these kinds of stories.
Speaker 1: These are other stories I love. So talk a little
Speaker 1: about Sidney Wine in his journey from janitor to top boss
Speaker 1: at Golden Sex.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, the beautiful thing about that is he
Speaker 2: learned the process of success and how it worked. And
Speaker 2: he also believed in himself. You know, he had a
Speaker 2: great believe that and his ability to get things done.
Speaker 2: And if you can do it at an early age,
Speaker 2: you know, or at a I don't want to say
Speaker 2: low point in life. But if you can do the
Speaker 2: fundamental things, the things that get you to understand the
Speaker 2: process of success is the same for everybody. You just
Speaker 2: keep working and you have that drive. Wouldn't make a
Speaker 2: different to what kind of job you have. You're able
Speaker 2: to again keep growing and know that you can do
Speaker 2: better and apply those same principles regardless of what level
Speaker 2: you're operating. That So he was that kind of person.
Speaker 1: What about Oprah? You describe Oprah as a true identity leader.
Speaker 1: Why is Why is Oprah a true identity leader?
Speaker 2: Well, number one, she knows who she are. She is,
Speaker 2: excuse me, and she knows who she is. And she's
Speaker 2: one of the greatest communicators in the world. She's been
Speaker 2: doing this a long time. She certainly is a great speaker,
Speaker 2: and she's been speaking, you know, in church at an
Speaker 2: early age, so she carried those same communication skills. Boy,
Speaker 2: she's so smart, so bright, very kind, just giving so
Speaker 2: much to the world. It's just unbelievable what she's been
Speaker 2: able to do. I can't even believe it myself. She's
Speaker 2: you know, given scholarships to folks at More House, she's
Speaker 2: opened the school in Africa. Well, she's trained these young
Speaker 2: girls and they've gone to major schools all over the country,
Speaker 2: major universities, and she's changed your life. And she's done
Speaker 2: that over and over with her show for so many years.
Speaker 2: I think people kind of forget what she's been able
Speaker 2: to contribute. It's just fascinating who she is. And she
Speaker 2: doesn't do another thing in her life. She's done so much.
Speaker 2: Is always trying to help pepeople and give back, and
Speaker 2: she's done that over and over and over and over again,
Speaker 2: and with her humility and her ability to really just
Speaker 2: kind of know what she's capable of doing. And oftentimes
Speaker 2: sometimes she's she might get out of her lane every
Speaker 2: once in a while, but for the most part, she's
Speaker 2: always trying to help and always trying to serve humanity
Speaker 2: all over the world. And what she's done for women
Speaker 2: and the way she's empowered women and young girls and
Speaker 2: just such an unbelievable leader. I just can't say enough
Speaker 2: about it. It's amazing to watch her throughout these years.
Speaker 1: It's dead man, it sounds like you're in love with
Speaker 1: this woman.
Speaker 2: Well, she's a very special person. She's just extraordinary.
Speaker 1: I know, I know, And you've had a really unique
Speaker 1: window on that whole development. So you've really seen this,
Speaker 1: so one of the highest levels of self actualization a
Speaker 1: human can achieve. You've you've had like a front row
Speaker 1: seat to it for how many years? Thirty years?
Speaker 2: Well, I've been you know, around, so it's been I mean,
Speaker 2: I would not be here, I would not be able
Speaker 2: to do what I'm doing without the influence of not
Speaker 2: just her, but many people. I could go on and on.
Speaker 2: Bob Brown, I work for it. And we traveled to
Speaker 2: South Africa, first American to ever see Nelson Mandela in prison,
Speaker 2: only American that I know of, and work with him
Speaker 2: a while, and he was one of the Missus King
Speaker 2: called him when doctor King was assassinated, assassinated to help
Speaker 2: pick up the body, you know, and I had the
Speaker 2: privilege of working with him. He was a special assistant
Speaker 2: to one of the presidents and so, you know, help
Speaker 2: open up the Nigerian government, help build that. So I've
Speaker 2: had some great experiences you know, all around that. That
Speaker 2: adds a lot of value to you know, support systems
Speaker 2: and having great people around you who you can just
Speaker 2: watch and learn from because you know, you're green, you
Speaker 2: don't know anything. You're trying to figure it out. And
Speaker 2: you need support systems to mentors who can.
Speaker 1: Help you absolutely, and I copefully agree with that. What
Speaker 1: is the relationship between fear and potential? I think that's
Speaker 1: a big, big part of your book.
Speaker 2: What is the relationship between fear and potential? I think
Speaker 2: you know, one is what you can't get the potential
Speaker 2: that you overcome the fears. So what are your barriers
Speaker 2: to success? And sometimes you know, you can self sabotage
Speaker 2: yourself a lot because you doubt yourself and there's a
Speaker 2: lot of fear there. And you know, if the foundation
Speaker 2: of your existence is fear, are negative, then you know,
Speaker 2: even when you're comfortable, you kind of look at the
Speaker 2: glass half emptans supposed are half full. So the transformation
Speaker 2: is always potential. The transformation is always what you can do,
Speaker 2: not what you can't do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Abraham Masol has that great quote that in any moment,
Speaker 1: we can choose to move toward growth or stay in safety,
Speaker 1: and we have to keep choosing growth again and again
Speaker 1: and overcome our fear again and again.
Speaker 2: And beautiful.
Speaker 1: I love that you talk about that in there in
Speaker 1: terms of your own identity development, where there's where you
Speaker 1: struggled to show who stenogram is you know, apart from Oprah,
Speaker 1: apart from all these other things, but just who you
Speaker 1: are in terms of and this is what I'm trying
Speaker 1: to do today with you, is trying to show the
Speaker 1: world the awesome work you're doing. But has it been
Speaker 1: a goal at any point?
Speaker 2: I think, just do the work. I think if you
Speaker 2: just do the work and do what you authentically can
Speaker 2: do based on who you are, I mean, that is
Speaker 2: the work, and so that should be part of the
Speaker 2: journey and that should be what defines your existence. You know.
Speaker 2: So you've got a lot of you're connected to a
Speaker 2: lot of other things, but the most important thing is
Speaker 2: you just do the work every day. I mean, everybody's equal,
Speaker 2: because everybody is twenty four hours. So the question is
Speaker 2: what do you do with your time? And so, man,
Speaker 2: if you can find your passion and purpose in life
Speaker 2: and what you love and what you care about, and
Speaker 2: you're lucky enough to be able to work at that,
Speaker 2: that's enough that will take you to wherever you need
Speaker 2: to go. And you just keep building. And if you
Speaker 2: understand the value of now technology, which is where you
Speaker 2: right now as a way to enhance your value and
Speaker 2: your abilities, you know, and you go align that with
Speaker 2: your vision, and you're able to set goals and you
Speaker 2: have a process for continuous improvement, and you don't quit.
Speaker 2: Every time you fall down, you get back up, you
Speaker 2: get back up, you get back up. You know. Then
Speaker 2: then that is that's plenty right there, and not really
Speaker 2: worry about the rest of what's happening around you.
Speaker 1: Well, I agree. I was just asking you a human,
Speaker 1: just vulnerable question, like did you ever struggle with that
Speaker 1: in your life?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean a struggle every day, you know, with it.
Speaker 2: You know, it's always not going anywhere, it's always there.
Speaker 2: You know, it depends on again how you see the
Speaker 2: world and what your makeup is and what your background is.
Speaker 2: You're still dealing with inadequacies and struggle and doubt and
Speaker 2: all of that.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you. I think that like the more
Speaker 1: you humanize yourself as well, think it really it can
Speaker 1: inspire a lot of other people. You know, we're all
Speaker 1: kind of trying our best in this world. You know,
Speaker 1: you talk about about an action plan, create an action plan, right,
Speaker 1: and how to bring it to fruition. Do you have
Speaker 1: any advice for people and how to turn that into
Speaker 1: kind of make their dream into reality?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think, you know, having a base, a strong
Speaker 2: based on what you love. I mean, the thing I
Speaker 2: ask people to do is is to write down everything
Speaker 2: they love in their life and then apply information to
Speaker 2: that and then develop goals around that, develop a vision
Speaker 2: around that, kind of organize a value system around it.
Speaker 2: You know, find out what your what your barriers are,
Speaker 2: what your just just success are, find out how to
Speaker 2: build a team around it. Uh and and and read
Speaker 2: about it, learn about it, become an expert in it,
Speaker 2: and then just write things down. I mean, you've got
Speaker 2: to be able to have a plan because those things
Speaker 2: that you write down you could go back to and
Speaker 2: figure out how to create an ecosystem around all of
Speaker 2: that together. It really just makes a huge difference when
Speaker 2: you start to plan and write things down, because you know,
Speaker 2: you got fifty thousand thoughts going through your mind every
Speaker 2: single day. You're not going to remember everything, so you've
Speaker 2: got to be able to write it down and organize it.
Speaker 1: And also, you talk about committing to self actualization, talk
Speaker 1: a little bit more about that.
Speaker 2: Well, working on yourself, trying to improve yourself again, being
Speaker 2: clear on how you're going to spend your time, eliminate
Speaker 2: all the time wasters. Focus. Whatever you focus on expands
Speaker 2: you know, being able to focus and and and stay
Speaker 2: on track. You know, all those things are important in
Speaker 2: terms of self actualization.
Speaker 1: I meant to ask this earlier on like how do
Speaker 1: you even how do you find self actualization? How do
Speaker 1: you define it? Personally?
Speaker 2: I have define it by just working on yourself. I
Speaker 2: mean right now, it's you know, most people focus on
Speaker 2: the outside world as a way to define their existence,
Speaker 2: and so they never really get to work on self.
Speaker 2: So when you start to turn it around and now
Speaker 2: everything is about what your program is going to be
Speaker 2: for that day. You know, what's your routine going to be,
Speaker 2: how are you going to improve that? You know, what
Speaker 2: are you're trying to get accomplished? Who you want to become?
Speaker 2: Looking at that putting all of that together, it just
Speaker 2: gives you the opportunity to be able to organize a
Speaker 2: process for you know, self actualization and again going back
Speaker 2: to working on yourself. So that really it's based on
Speaker 2: the fact that the more you have, the more you
Speaker 2: can give the other people. Again, I think that it's
Speaker 2: a great way to uh be a uh you know,
Speaker 2: be a servant leader to a lot of folks outside
Speaker 2: of your own you know, interests.
Speaker 1: I love that, you know, and it's just there's not
Speaker 1: there's not that much of a focus on self actualization
Speaker 1: these days. So it's just so refreshing to see that.
Speaker 1: You know, a lot of people they may focus on
Speaker 1: happiness or they focus on achievement, but neither of those
Speaker 1: things are self actualization necessarily. So it's really refreshing to
Speaker 1: see it. Is there anything else you want to add
Speaker 1: about your work on it, your really groundbreaking work on
Speaker 1: identity leadership, Well.
Speaker 2: It's just that it's continuous, it doesn't stop. You continually involve.
Speaker 2: I like the fact that you're able to improve. You know,
Speaker 2: you fall down, you get back up, you you relearn information,
Speaker 2: you learn things from other people from your experiences. Uh.
Speaker 2: And it's constant, you know, it's constant production in its
Speaker 2: constant work is constant, constantly you know, you know, working
Speaker 2: on yourself and figuring out how you can do it better.
Speaker 2: And you know, we live in one of the greatest
Speaker 2: countries in the world, so to be able to have
Speaker 2: access to systems and the experiences we have, and you know,
Speaker 2: America just provides so many opportunities for us. And now
Speaker 2: we have the global marketplace. You know, again, we couldn't
Speaker 2: live in a better time than now because we have
Speaker 2: access to so many resources and you know, so much
Speaker 2: information and you can learn on your own and so
Speaker 2: you know, being able to have an identity as a
Speaker 2: foundation for development, creativity and learning and understanding to me
Speaker 2: is just really uh, you know, exciting.
Speaker 1: It's really exciting. And I want to end with some
Speaker 1: sort of encouragement from Steppman who wrote quote, you are
Speaker 1: well on your way to furthering your potential as a
Speaker 1: day leader. Keep on going. It's a journey that, no
Speaker 1: matter how hard at times, is well worth it. It's
Speaker 1: a journey that leads to the satisfying and fulfilling life
Speaker 1: that you have deep down and envisioned for yourself. My
Speaker 1: best wishes to you as you continue your journey. Stebman.
Speaker 1: I want to just give best wishes to you on
Speaker 1: your journey as well. I really made it my aim
Speaker 1: today to get your work out there to my audience
Speaker 1: and the know a little bit more about who Steedman
Speaker 1: Graham is. So thank you, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: I appreciate the opportunity Scott, and congratulations to you and
Speaker 2: all that you do for so many other people
Speaker 1: Thank you so much means a lot.