WEBVTT - Minisode: A Housefull of Gadgets with Rosebud Baker and Andy Haynes

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to a couple's Counseling with Chelsea.

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<v Speaker 2>I am here with my friends Rosebud Baker and her

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<v Speaker 2>husband Andy Haynes.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi.

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<v Speaker 1>Rosebud and Andy, thank you for being here today as

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<v Speaker 1>a couple.

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<v Speaker 2>So tell me how having the baby has impacted your

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<v Speaker 2>relationship in terms of what have you learned about each

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<v Speaker 2>other that you didn't know before, Like you don't know

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<v Speaker 2>what kind of parents somebody else is going to be.

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<v Speaker 4>That's so funny because we were talking about that last night.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, what were you saying, Well, I'm really surprised because

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<v Speaker 5>Rosebud can kind of be a hard ass, you know,

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<v Speaker 5>she can kind of be like vaping and telling you

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<v Speaker 5>you suck, you know, from the sidelines, but you know.

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<v Speaker 6>She's just and then also she's like the business acumen.

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<v Speaker 5>You know, she knows how to navigate and she's like

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<v Speaker 5>very punctual about that kind of stuff. And then with

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<v Speaker 5>the baby, she just has this whole thing where she

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<v Speaker 5>drops that whole facade and she's very sweet, probably to

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<v Speaker 5>an embarrassing point where you you know, sing Miss Rachel

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<v Speaker 5>songs to her while making funny faces.

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<v Speaker 6>I didn't think that she would have that switch in her.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I would say, I was, I can see that

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<v Speaker 2>from your socials and everything.

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<v Speaker 1>Since you've had the child, your baby, the child.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, the child, let's call her the child, like she's

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<v Speaker 3>been inhabited by a ghost, yeah, or like she's a child,

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<v Speaker 3>an omens child.

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<v Speaker 2>You've definitely become like a softer version of yourself, which

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<v Speaker 2>is great, and yeah, that's what you want to happen

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<v Speaker 2>when you have a baby, not become.

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<v Speaker 4>Harder right now, that would be that would be concerning.

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<v Speaker 3>But also I watch Andy and I'm like, I was

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<v Speaker 3>a little concerned with Andy before I had the baby

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<v Speaker 3>because I was like, he doesn't make a lot of

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<v Speaker 3>eye contact, you know. He had to be like reminded

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<v Speaker 3>to look at me during our wedding vows, like more

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<v Speaker 3>than three times. So I was like, is he gonna

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<v Speaker 3>make eye contact? Is he going to smile at the baby?

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<v Speaker 3>And he has ended up being the most caring, compassionate,

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<v Speaker 3>Like he's very attuned to her in a way that

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<v Speaker 3>I know for sure my dad wasn't attuned to me.

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<v Speaker 3>So watching him with her has been like a life

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<v Speaker 3>changing experience, and like watching him become a dad has

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<v Speaker 3>been awesome because he's so and he's also like very

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, he can be a little anxious, but I'm

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<v Speaker 3>sort of like, if I feel like anything bad is happening,

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<v Speaker 3>sometimes I shut down and I go like, it's not happening,

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<v Speaker 3>it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. He'll be like, hey,

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<v Speaker 3>we got to take her to the doctor, you know

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<v Speaker 3>what I mean, Like, let's just check this out just

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<v Speaker 3>in case. And like I've learned to like whatever it

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<v Speaker 3>is that he's worried about, I'll just like listen to him,

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<v Speaker 3>and he's just in tune with her.

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<v Speaker 1>It sounds like you have a maternal instinct.

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<v Speaker 5>I mean I was around a lot of women growing up,

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<v Speaker 5>and he said that, yeah, I think I was lacking

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<v Speaker 5>the paternal My dad's great, but I was.

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<v Speaker 6>You know, it was all women growing up. But one

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<v Speaker 6>thing that's funny and your gay uncles.

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<v Speaker 5>Yes, some gay men. But Rosebud also has this weird

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<v Speaker 5>thing where she will become She'll be like, we need

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<v Speaker 5>to start planning her preschool entrance exam, and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 5>you don't want to plan anything. And all of a sudden,

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<v Speaker 5>she's like, do we know where she's going to go

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<v Speaker 5>to college? And I'm like, where did that come from?

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<v Speaker 3>You?

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<v Speaker 4>Don't you know, like I do panic about that kind

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<v Speaker 4>of shit.

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<v Speaker 2>I could also relate to that because it's you know,

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<v Speaker 2>you have a baby, and then there's all these other

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<v Speaker 2>things that go along with it, right and future planning.

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<v Speaker 2>So for someone who doesn't like that, you would I

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<v Speaker 2>do panic because you're like, Andy, you better make a

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<v Speaker 2>fucking plan, right.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, what have you filled out any paperwork? I'm like,

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<v Speaker 3>I haven't filled out paperwork. I'm not going to.

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<v Speaker 5>I've done very little planning in that. I'm a I'm

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<v Speaker 5>a plan for fun, not a plan for Yeah, isn't

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<v Speaker 5>that nice?

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<v Speaker 1>What about the nursery?

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<v Speaker 2>Did he help you decorate the nursery because I know

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<v Speaker 2>you're opposed to his decoration.

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<v Speaker 3>No, I don't want him to intervene at all with

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<v Speaker 3>any sort of decor ideas or any kind of he's

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<v Speaker 3>If he even sends me a link to a couch,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, get that out of my fucking phone.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't like men's.

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<v Speaker 3>Decore ideas, input, input in my apartment, in my living space.

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<v Speaker 4>And I know we live together, so I apologize.

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<v Speaker 3>I know it's not fair, but I feel like most

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<v Speaker 3>of what they contribute is just like gadgets, and then

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<v Speaker 3>you have just a fucking house full of gadgets. You know,

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<v Speaker 3>it's just there's wires everywhere. He bought this fucking disgustingly ugly.

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<v Speaker 4>Can I talk about this?

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<v Speaker 6>What is it?

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<v Speaker 4>The shower thing? Oh?

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<v Speaker 5>That I mean that was so it's awful. That was

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<v Speaker 5>simply because of last week. I bought it on a whim.

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<v Speaker 4>It was.

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<v Speaker 3>It's so bad I tried using it that our kid

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<v Speaker 3>fell over it.

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<v Speaker 6>It's a hose to the shower head, that's it.

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<v Speaker 4>Why would you ever need that the showerhead is a hose?

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<v Speaker 6>No, because our shower head does not come off.

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<v Speaker 5>And our baby last week had this like weird sickness

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<v Speaker 5>where she had like a virus in her poop, and

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<v Speaker 5>so I tried to wash her butt off in the bath,

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<v Speaker 5>but it just I.

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<v Speaker 3>Came in and he was in a bath with her.

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<v Speaker 3>There's shit in the water. It was like her asshole

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<v Speaker 3>losing her ass.

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<v Speaker 5>And I was like, I don't have any kind of

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<v Speaker 5>like it doesn't come off the wall, So I'm just

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<v Speaker 5>like doing this with the bath water, and then I'm

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<v Speaker 5>just standing in her ship, which is full of a disease.

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<v Speaker 3>Instead of being like instead of being like, I'm never

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<v Speaker 3>gonna do that again. He was like, let me buy

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<v Speaker 3>a hose, so but if I do this again, which

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, why would you ever?

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<v Speaker 6>It was pretty fun until the baby fell over.

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<v Speaker 4>It sucked. It's ugly. It's like bright. It's like that

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<v Speaker 4>color blue, but it's.

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<v Speaker 6>Not supposed to be permanent. You just put it on

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<v Speaker 6>when you spray the baby off color.

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<v Speaker 5>I want to clarify this. The thing that used to

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<v Speaker 5>annoy me about this design thing. I've totally seeded to

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<v Speaker 5>her decision, mainly because she has the money. But I

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<v Speaker 5>used to be like a big furniture guy, you know

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<v Speaker 5>what I mean. Like I loved like Emes and Brunum

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<v Speaker 5>of Bruno Mars his chairs. But I used to like

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<v Speaker 5>flip Old mid century furniture, and I love design and

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<v Speaker 5>architecture and all that stuff. And so I was like excited,

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<v Speaker 5>and I didn't even care that much. It was just

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<v Speaker 5>that Rosebud was like, you don't get to say anything,

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<v Speaker 5>and I was like but, and she was like, don't

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<v Speaker 5>talk to me about our apartment. And I was like but,

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<v Speaker 5>and she's really good at it, So I'm not mad.

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<v Speaker 2>It's nice that you've seed it, even with your interest

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<v Speaker 2>in those things that you just mentioned. It's nice and

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<v Speaker 2>mask for you to go fine, she obviously cares more

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<v Speaker 2>about it. I'm not gonna do anything and just let

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<v Speaker 2>her fucking dominate in that area.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, if there's a chair I need you to flip,

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<v Speaker 3>I'll fucking get that chair and I'll be like, hey,

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<v Speaker 3>can you flip it?

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<v Speaker 1>What is the biggest fight you've had over parenting?

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<v Speaker 6>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Can you remember?

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<v Speaker 6>It was probably something I was anxious about.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, do you have any anxiety?

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<v Speaker 1>Roastbud?

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<v Speaker 3>Probably, But I don't. I sort of shut down and

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<v Speaker 3>get through it. Like my reaction to my own anxiety

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<v Speaker 3>is like be reasonable. Like there's like my dad's voice

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<v Speaker 3>in my head that's like, be reasonable, find a solution,

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<v Speaker 3>do the thing you have to do, and then deal

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<v Speaker 3>with the feelings afterwards.

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<v Speaker 4>So with parenting, if Andy.

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<v Speaker 3>Has like an emotional reaction to something which is perfectly normal,

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<v Speaker 3>I'll get upset that he gets to feel a certain

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<v Speaker 3>way and I don't. But truth be told, Like this

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<v Speaker 3>is all a story that I'm telling myself, do you

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<v Speaker 3>know what I mean? Where it's like I could have

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<v Speaker 3>an emotional reaction You've just been trained not But I've

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<v Speaker 3>just been.

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<v Speaker 4>Trained not to.

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<v Speaker 3>So when I see him having the freedom to express

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<v Speaker 3>himself emotionally, I get upset and I go like, you.

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<v Speaker 4>Can't do that.

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<v Speaker 5>But I'm also like a little much like I'll give

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<v Speaker 5>her that that I pushed a little too far because

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<v Speaker 5>I'm like, I don't go like you're being crazy.

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<v Speaker 6>I just go like, this is awful.

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<v Speaker 5>Like the baby got this rash that's like a staph

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<v Speaker 5>infection back in January.

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<v Speaker 6>We took her to Florida.

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<v Speaker 5>First mistake, Yeah, that's like And then we came back

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<v Speaker 5>and she was just covered in this rash that she

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<v Speaker 5>looked like she was just gonna wilt and die.

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<v Speaker 4>It was just just she didn't look like she was

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<v Speaker 4>gonna die.

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<v Speaker 6>She looked disgusting.

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<v Speaker 4>She looked disgusting.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, And I.

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<v Speaker 5>Was freaking out, and the pediatrician kept on being like

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<v Speaker 5>all pediatricians, they can't say like a certain thing, so

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<v Speaker 5>they'll be like, yeah, she should be fine, and You're

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<v Speaker 5>like could it get worse and they're like, ah, probably not.

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<v Speaker 6>Well she looks awful right now. And so I yelled

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<v Speaker 6>at the pediatrician and then Rosie was like, we're getting

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<v Speaker 6>a nanny after that.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, because Andy was home with the baby while

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<v Speaker 3>I was while I went back to work.

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<v Speaker 4>So I was like, we're getting a nanny. You need

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<v Speaker 4>to call him.

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<v Speaker 1>Down for Andy. You got a nanny? Yeah, yeah, just

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<v Speaker 1>how is that going?

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<v Speaker 6>It's great, I'll over.

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<v Speaker 4>She changes his diapers.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah. Yeah, she's Filipina. She makes me Filipino food vegan versions.

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<v Speaker 1>Well I probably know her then.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So what was the biggest fight was something about

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<v Speaker 2>that was like his reaction. It was like, yeah, it

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<v Speaker 2>was like not being compassionate to his reaction.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, and I'll be like, you're being dramatic when really

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<v Speaker 3>he's just being himself more freely than I'm able to be.

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<v Speaker 4>But it does upset me.

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<v Speaker 3>One time I walked in on him like googling pancreatic

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<v Speaker 3>cancer and I was like, I'm I'm calling a lawyer.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 5>Well, I had an ulcer this summer and nobody knew

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<v Speaker 5>what it was, so I was pretty sure I was

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<v Speaker 5>dying and that was a big We had a couple

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<v Speaker 5>fights throughout that that was really stressful.

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<v Speaker 1>Because she didn't take you seriously.

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<v Speaker 5>Nobody was really like worried about it, even though I

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<v Speaker 5>was like, no, like, my organ's hurt when your organs

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<v Speaker 5>start hurting, You're like, this is it? You know, like,

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<v Speaker 5>I think that's a pretty common feeling. Yeah, And everybody

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<v Speaker 5>was like, what are you talking about? You're fine, and

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<v Speaker 5>I was like, no, something's wrong. And then Rosebud was like,

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<v Speaker 5>you're ruining our time together so with your ulcer, with your.

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<v Speaker 4>Organs, which is like I feel.

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<v Speaker 3>Even as I was getting mad at him, I was like,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm probably making it worse.

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<v Speaker 4>Like I was like, I'm probably adding to the lester.

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<v Speaker 1>I know.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I mean it seems like a lot of people

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<v Speaker 2>who have anxiety would get ulcers, don't they. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>isn't that common because you're stressed out? Yes, a definite cause.

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<v Speaker 6>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 5>I'd never had anything like this before. And I don't

0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:45.120
<v Speaker 5>know if i'd been this anxious before the baby. I

0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:45.960
<v Speaker 5>don't think I had.

0:09:46.160 --> 0:09:47.000
<v Speaker 4>Now you weren't.

0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:48.959
<v Speaker 6>When the baby came along, it was like a whole.

0:09:48.800 --> 0:09:49.800
<v Speaker 1>New really life.

0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:50.800
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:54.160
<v Speaker 5>I was very much like i'd get like hypochondria about myself,

0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:57.520
<v Speaker 5>but I didn't really care too much. And I've always

0:09:57.520 --> 0:10:00.400
<v Speaker 5>been very spontaneous and kind of like I'm not scared

0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:03.480
<v Speaker 5>of anything danger wise either. That's another thing, like I'm

0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:06.080
<v Speaker 5>scared if like my toe gets infected. But if you

0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:08.040
<v Speaker 5>give me like a forty foot cliff to jump off

0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:10.679
<v Speaker 5>into water, like, I won't hesitate at all.

0:10:10.760 --> 0:10:11.000
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:10:11.040 --> 0:10:11.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh that's interesting.

0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:14.240
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, he'll go wade in a dirty lake.

0:10:14.800 --> 0:10:15.120
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:18.000
<v Speaker 1>Oh it's almost like you have no fear, but you

0:10:18.040 --> 0:10:18.760
<v Speaker 1>have anxiety.

0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:19.840
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:22.439
<v Speaker 5>Interesting, Like I used to when I was a skier,

0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:25.120
<v Speaker 5>you know, and my joints all worked. I would like

0:10:25.240 --> 0:10:27.600
<v Speaker 5>jump off cliffs and do flips and stuff like that.

0:10:27.600 --> 0:10:31.360
<v Speaker 6>That was like my teen years. Yeah, and then no,

0:10:31.480 --> 0:10:34.720
<v Speaker 6>I'm broken, but it's obvious what happened.

0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:37.600
<v Speaker 2>And that's all for this week with Rosebud and Andy.

0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:40.800
<v Speaker 2>Tune in next time as we continue couples counseling with Chelsea.

0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:44.440
<v Speaker 2>You can check out Rosebudd and Andy's podcast. It's called

0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:47.400
<v Speaker 2>Find Your Beach Andy. It will be on tour in Dallas,

0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:51.640
<v Speaker 2>Oklahoma City, and Tulsa in September, Amsterdam on October twenty fifth,

0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:54.720
<v Speaker 2>and then he has two dates in Milwaukee in December.

0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:55.439
<v Speaker 1>So check out his.

0:10:55.400 --> 0:11:00.120
<v Speaker 2>Instagram and TikTok at I'm Andy Haynes hay any Yes

0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:02.760
<v Speaker 2>for tickets to those dates and for more, and you

0:11:02.760 --> 0:11:06.280
<v Speaker 2>could find both Andy and Rosebud. On YouTube. Rosebud will

0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:08.880
<v Speaker 2>be taping her new special on September sixteenth in New

0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:10.920
<v Speaker 2>York at the Village Underground and you can get tickets

0:11:10.960 --> 0:11:13.120
<v Speaker 2>to this and more of her dates at rosebud Baker

0:11:13.160 --> 0:11:15.800
<v Speaker 2>dot com and you can find her on Instagram and

0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:19.320
<v Speaker 2>TikTok at Rosebud Baker upcoming shows that I have.

0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:22.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm coming to Texas. I'm coming to Saint Louis and Kansas.

0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:25.320
<v Speaker 2>City, and then i will be in Las Vegas performing

0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:29.000
<v Speaker 2>at the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel. I'm coming

0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:33.520
<v Speaker 2>to Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on November eighth,

0:11:33.920 --> 0:11:37.000
<v Speaker 2>and I have tickets on sale throughout the end of

0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:40.080
<v Speaker 2>the year in December, so if you're in a city

0:11:40.640 --> 0:11:44.600
<v Speaker 2>like Philadelphia or Bethlehem, or San Diego or New Orleans

0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:47.840
<v Speaker 2>or Omaha, check Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.

0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:48.360
<v Speaker 5>Okay,