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Speaker 1: Doll World, uns head. Would you believe it's not tell

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Speaker 1: you my two sillion pieces?

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Speaker 2: Would you do? Banas Bajan Bay.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Bananas ladies and gentlemen.

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Speaker 2: Hey, Kurtie B. How are you.

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Speaker 1: I'm good, Scottie, how are you?

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Speaker 2: I'm good? I like our minisodes. Thank you for sending

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Speaker 2: in your stories to the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot

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Speaker 2: com or d ming us or I think the one

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna do today was texted to the Bananas Phone,

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Speaker 2: which I encourage anybody to do. It's an unfair advantage

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Speaker 2: over Kurt because I get to see a few extra wacky,

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Speaker 2: wacky banana stories. But the phone number Banana's phone two

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Speaker 2: one three two one four seven nine seven four.

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Speaker 3: And just to just to get the business out of

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Speaker 3: the way, if you listening to this, if you're listening

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Speaker 3: to this, take a moment, pause it and just go

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Speaker 3: rate and review us on Apple Podcasts.

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Speaker 1: Yep, I don't know why it matters.

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Speaker 2: It matters so much, but it really matters.

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Speaker 3: That is something you could do that would really make

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Speaker 3: us very very happy.

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Speaker 1: Guys.

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Speaker 3: We have so many great stories. You guys keep sending

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Speaker 3: such great stories.

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Speaker 2: It's really true.

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Speaker 1: I really do enjoy the minisodes. Do you want to do?

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Speaker 1: You want to go first?

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Speaker 4: Scotty?

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Speaker 1: Shall I go first?

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Speaker 4: How?

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Speaker 2: Why don't you? Well, I don't really care. Let's say

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Speaker 2: you go first on this one. I'll go first on

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Speaker 2: the right next one.

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Speaker 1: Alrighty buddy. Uh So this coming in from Aaron Erdman.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Aaron, thank you Eron.

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Speaker 3: Back in the late two thousands, my then boyfriend lived

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Speaker 3: in a testosterone heavy home that hosted parties regularly. Problem came,

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Speaker 3: I partied, I conquered, waking up far too late in

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Speaker 3: his bed realize I had therapy in an hour. I

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Speaker 3: half jetted out of there, but had to get water first.

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Speaker 3: After getting a glass full and chugging it like a

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Speaker 3: hungover twenty year old does, I noticed an open bag

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Speaker 3: of those gummy sugarcoated peach o's.

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Speaker 1: There were exactly two.

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Speaker 3: Being the nice girlfriend I was, I brought the baggy

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Speaker 3: up to my boyfriend's bedroom and fed him one and

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Speaker 3: had one myself.

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Speaker 1: My morality didn't allow her to eat both. I drove

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Speaker 1: her showered.

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Speaker 3: Very nice gut person, got back in the car and

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Speaker 3: started driving to therapy. At ten thirty on a Monday morning,

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Speaker 3: Nice suddenly I realized I was not capable of operating machinery,

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Speaker 3: thinking I was having a brain aneurysm. I drove home

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Speaker 3: only to realize I left my phone at my boyfriend's place.

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Speaker 3: I knock on my apartment neighbor's door and asked to

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Speaker 3: borrow their phone, call the therapist and leave a voicemail saying, doctor,

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Speaker 3: I'm incapable of operating heavy machinery, so I won't make

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Speaker 3: today's appointment. As many who were born in the nineteen

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Speaker 3: eighties will know, playing Solitaire on the old computer is

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Speaker 3: the ultimate safe space. I never really thought about that,

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Speaker 3: but I guess that is to me. Playing Solitaire on

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Speaker 3: the computer was a thing that I just did to

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Speaker 3: kill time at work.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you know Finball, Solitaire or mine Sweep. But I

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Speaker 2: never even understood how to play mind Sweep. I would

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Speaker 2: just do it and then lose and go them. Okay,

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Speaker 2: I don't know how.

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Speaker 3: To do I always get mind Sweep confused with Minecraft,

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Speaker 3: and people love Minecraft.

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Speaker 1: I think it's much more complicated than yes Sweep.

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Speaker 2: Neither one for us. We are way too stupid for

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Speaker 2: either one. We are tiddleywinks.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, I love the idea that all these people are

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Speaker 3: spending thirty hours playing mind Sweeper. Okay, so yeah, playing

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Speaker 3: Solitaire on the old computer is the ultimate safe space.

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Speaker 3: After calling the therapist, I attempted a game of Solitaire

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Speaker 3: so great. Didn't feel like a safe space at all.

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Speaker 3: So I go back to the neighbors and ask to

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Speaker 3: use their phone again my boyfriend, and the moment he

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Speaker 3: picks up, he says, what a beautiful day. I've been

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Speaker 3: on the quad high fiving people because the world is

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Speaker 3: so beautiful. And I realized immediately that the two gummy

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Speaker 3: peach o's we had we Are we Are, we Ate

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Speaker 3: had been dosed. We made arrangements to meet at a

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Speaker 3: park and just hang and go through the trip. Turned

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Speaker 3: out to be a lovely day. But don't ever eat

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Speaker 3: pre opened candy. This was in regards to the Minnesoda

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Speaker 3: regarding Kurds goirlfriend dosing him. I felt compared to compelled

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Speaker 3: to share.

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Speaker 2: So what did they get dosed with? Do you think

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Speaker 2: it's acid?

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Speaker 3: I remember it was very common in like like the

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Speaker 3: early two thousand and late nineties to put it in

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Speaker 3: like gummy o's.

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Speaker 1: They're always o's too. Oh interesting, Yeah, Because I remember

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Speaker 1: I was in New Orleans and they had some.

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Speaker 3: My buddy had some, and everybody took it except for me,

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Speaker 3: And I've never done that.

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Speaker 1: Usually, I'm always the one to take.

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Speaker 2: You were all in back in the day. You were

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Speaker 2: all in.

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Speaker 1: Back of the day. I was all in, and this

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Speaker 1: was the one time I didn't.

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Speaker 3: So I was like the sober the sober dad, like

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Speaker 3: shepherding everybody through the day.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's a good thing I.

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Speaker 3: Was there, man, because it was my buddy Darby upont

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Speaker 3: like right as it was like kicking in and it is.

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Speaker 3: It can be an intense like ramp up, you know,

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Speaker 3: with acid.

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Speaker 1: He I come around a corner.

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Speaker 3: I'm just like having a beer in the other room

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Speaker 3: and I come around the corner and he's on the floor.

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Speaker 3: He's opened up a stapler and its just dumping the

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Speaker 3: staples into his mouth.

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Speaker 1: No, it was the craziest mood.

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Speaker 3: It was like it was like a textbook ascid like

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Speaker 3: like a movie, a bad movie.

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Speaker 1: Exactly, he's gonna eat staples.

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Speaker 3: What so I'd like pull staples out of his mouth.

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Speaker 1: And oh yeah, it was really it was really intense.

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Speaker 2: And so did he explain what he thought he was doing?

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Speaker 2: Was he like, no, dude, you got to understand.

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Speaker 3: No, he was like beyond words at that point. I

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Speaker 3: guess it was very strong acid. He came down a

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Speaker 3: little bit and he was like you we could like

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Speaker 3: lead him places, you know, Yeah, And we eventually just

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Speaker 3: like got them, got everybody on like a little hill

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Speaker 3: overlooking the water, the Mississippi River, and then that was it.

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Speaker 1: That's all.

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Speaker 3: They had two giant wooden spoons, and then the wooden

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Speaker 3: spoons were something very important to them.

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Speaker 1: They kept holding it up and I was just like,

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Speaker 1: I don't give a shit.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, what about these other wooden spoon same one before

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Speaker 4: even I got saved by not having a sweet tooth.

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Speaker 2: I don't really have a sweet tooth at all. And

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Speaker 2: it's almost especially true for chocolate. I don't really care.

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Speaker 2: It's fine, Like if people give me, you know, if

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Speaker 2: I'm being a good sported, there's chocolate cake, I'll be

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Speaker 2: like yes, and I will enjoy it, and I don't

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Speaker 2: really ever think about it again.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I had a friend of these guys. They were new

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Speaker 2: in high school brothers, and I became friends with them,

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Speaker 2: and they had this huge house. The dad was actually

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Speaker 2: a really well known working actor, which was rare for

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Speaker 2: my town. I mean, it was so far from Hollywood

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Speaker 2: or New York. It's crazy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But one of the first times I went over, they

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Speaker 2: had like a crew of their friends and it was

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Speaker 2: one of the guys was Stinky Dan, the guy talked

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Speaker 2: about in a bunch of pods Ago that could slap

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Speaker 2: his ass and make himself far don command. So they

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Speaker 2: come over and the younger brother Hunter is like, hey, Scottie,

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Speaker 2: we made brownies. You want brownies. They're so good. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: are they we brownies? And they were like no, And

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Speaker 2: I was like, I'm good and they're like really, And

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Speaker 2: they had made like two batches of brownies. And so

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Speaker 2: we hang out all night. We're shooting pool, We're doing

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Speaker 2: all the fun stuff in this big house. And then

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Speaker 2: I guess I went home, or maybe I spent the night.

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Speaker 2: Went to work the next day and I get a

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Speaker 2: call pretexting from my friend. He's like, how are you?

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm fine, how are you? He goes,

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Speaker 2: where over you're shitting our brain's out. Hunter put chocolate

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Speaker 2: x slax in those brownies. How many did you eat?

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Speaker 2: I said? Zero? He goes me and Spinelli, this guy

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Speaker 2: and this other guy Spinelli. I guess like got high

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Speaker 2: and ate the entire tray and then woke up at

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Speaker 2: like three am and were just done, like just glued

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Speaker 2: to and I was like saved. It made me feel

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Speaker 2: I had to go to work all day. It made

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Speaker 2: me feel so like it talk about a diet strategy,

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Speaker 2: just like.

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Speaker 1: Hey, who did it? Stinky Dan did it?

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Speaker 2: No, Stinky Dan's friend, my friend younger brother Hunter, Hunter.

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Speaker 1: They just bought just tried to fuck everybody.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they gave everybody in the house and everybody but

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Speaker 2: me and Stinky Dan and Hunter ate them and the

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Speaker 2: other guys were just like had that gurgle moment, that

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Speaker 2: that dumb and dumber moment, and then he was like

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Speaker 2: how are you? And I'm like totally good man, fun

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Speaker 2: fun hanging last night.

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Speaker 3: But I remember there was always a thing too with

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Speaker 3: vast with Vizine. Do you remember that too, Yes, I

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Speaker 3: think I was in I was in Florida with a

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Speaker 3: bunch of guys who, like my grandmother lived in Florida,

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Speaker 3: and right down the street was this dude who I

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Speaker 3: would hang out with, yes, who I would love to

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Speaker 3: know what he's up to because he is either like

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Speaker 3: a conservationist like scuba dive instruct or.

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Speaker 1: He stormed a capitol. Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: He's either the other yes, lunatic fringe. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And it was a buddy of his, and I remember

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Speaker 3: like their friend got up and went to the bathroom

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Speaker 3: and he took out a vizine thing and just squirted

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Speaker 3: it in, and.

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Speaker 1: He's like, that guy's gonna be fucked tonight. I was

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Speaker 1: just like, why is that fun to do to a person?

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Speaker 1: I hate pranks.

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Speaker 2: I hate it. Leave everybody alone, especially like the older

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Speaker 2: you get when you're like, oh, I think it's funny

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Speaker 2: to lock someone in their bathroom all night with if

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Speaker 2: you're like life is too hard we're all too busy

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Speaker 2: and tired already. Let's not what torture each other.

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Speaker 4: All right?

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Speaker 1: Give me one, Scotty.

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Speaker 2: Okay, totally different, which is great. I love when our

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Speaker 2: stories are so incredibly different. This was texted to me.

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Speaker 2: I think you're gonna really like this one, Kurt, Hey, Scotty,

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Speaker 2: I got a banana story for you. I used to

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Speaker 2: be in an underground Viking metal band called Ancient Wind. Yes, yes, yes, yes, great,

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Speaker 2: what a perfect first sentence.

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Speaker 3: I mean, underground Viking, what are their mainstream Viking metal bands.

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Speaker 1: This one has to be underground.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, is Masta Don That's the only one. I could

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Speaker 2: Maybe Mastadon, I don't know. Maybe so Ancient.

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Speaker 1: Wind, Ancient Wind fucking great.

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Speaker 2: We mostly played shows in Colorado, and we're playing a

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Speaker 2: show at a local bar in Grand Junction.

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Speaker 3: We've been there, We've been to Grand Junction. That is

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Speaker 3: a that's a small town. I love that they have

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Speaker 3: Viking metal shows.

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Speaker 2: I would love to go to him. As soon as

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Speaker 2: the Great Choar is over, I'm gonna get into Viking

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Speaker 2: metal band, especially underground. Uh. Midway through our show in

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Speaker 2: Grand Junction, a homeless man walks in and walks up

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Speaker 2: to the stage and pulls a live pigeon out of

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Speaker 2: his pocket and places it and places it on our

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Speaker 2: guitarist's foot. The pigeon stays on his foot for the

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Speaker 2: entire song, without moving, as the man joined the mosh pit.

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Speaker 2: Once the song was over, the homeless man scooped up

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Speaker 2: the pigeon from the stage, put it back in his

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Speaker 2: coat pocket, and walked out of the emergency exit, leaving

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Speaker 2: us all stunned and wondering, wondering what the fuck just happened.

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Speaker 2: I've never seen that homeless man again or his pigeon,

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Speaker 2: but I hope they're mashing somewhere. Dwayne. Thank you, Dwayne.

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Speaker 1: Dwayne, that is the best story ever.

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Speaker 3: Oh God, that's like that guy, he's like, that's a

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Speaker 3: he's a magician, he's a magic man, he's a shaman.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so perfect. And these are my favorite banana

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Speaker 2: stories we all have. We get a lot of stories

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Speaker 2: that are sort of like sex related or that kind

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Speaker 2: of thing, but this is, uh, this is one of

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Speaker 2: the things that happens and it takes five minutes and

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Speaker 2: you never forget it for the rest of your life,

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Speaker 2: never once. I'm so glad you shared this, Dwayne. Do

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Speaker 2: you I think you know this story? You might have

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Speaker 2: actually been there. I was thinking about it because it's

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Speaker 2: been a decade. But there was a night at Tillery

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Speaker 2: Street where Carl and Bryce used to live. Remember that

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Speaker 2: warehouse in Brooklyn on Tillery where they would when we

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Speaker 2: were doing hot dogs. They had that big loft space.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't I've ever been there.

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Speaker 2: Huh, well, it was a long time ago, Katie. I'm

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Speaker 2: just going to jump to this part. So this reminds

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Speaker 2: me of the story you might have actually been there, Kurt,

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Speaker 2: but I don't quite remember. But it was before I

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Speaker 2: started to write TV. I was still a waiter and

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Speaker 2: my friends lived in this Brooklyn loft and it was

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Speaker 2: really amazing. It was basically all every floor, five floors.

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Speaker 2: It was an abandoned industrial building, and people started squatting

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Speaker 2: and the owners I think lived in Israel and they

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Speaker 2: had no idea anybody who's there, So all these artists

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Speaker 2: took it.

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Speaker 1: Over time out, time out, timeouta.

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Speaker 3: I lived there for a little while, just so everyone's close,

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Speaker 3: Just like, have you ever been to their place on

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Speaker 3: Tillery Street? No, I have never been there. I don't

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Speaker 3: think I've ever been there. I lived. I squatted there

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Speaker 3: for a month. Yeah, and in an unheated Yes, that's right.

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Speaker 3: Carl let me into because he was the super for

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Speaker 3: the building.

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Speaker 2: There you go, Now we could we have we had

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Speaker 2: the snake is eating its own tail. We have circled

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Speaker 2: the wagons. So I showed up to a party there.

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Speaker 2: They had this huge by Brooklyn standards, an absolutely massive space,

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Speaker 2: and it was a bunch of like peak hipsterdom two

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Speaker 2: thousand and six. Everybody's got a beard, and I really

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Speaker 2: only knew like two people at the party. But I

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Speaker 2: was socializing and there's kind of a big, spread out party,

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Speaker 2: and we all noticed that this one guy who was

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Speaker 2: walking around and he kept leaning into conversations and going

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Speaker 2: ha ha and laughing really rudely when people weren't making jokes,

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Speaker 2: and then people would be like, I'm sorry, who are you?

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Speaker 2: And he would be like whatever and walk to the

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Speaker 2: next group. So this he looked like Riffraff, if you

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Speaker 2: know the the crappy rapper riff Raff.

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Speaker 3: Imagine you meant oh, I thought you meant Heathcliff's at

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Speaker 3: arch at Nemesis riff Raff.

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Speaker 2: Well yeah I do. Actually, yeah, he looked like machine

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Speaker 2: Gun Kelly. He just looked like he didn't look like

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Speaker 2: anybody else there, I'll say that. So Carl starts getting

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Speaker 2: angry and everybody starts getting weirded out, and it's that

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Speaker 2: thing where somebody's crazy in the room and nobody knows

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Speaker 2: what to do about it. And also it's that thing

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Speaker 2: where it was a big enough party where people were like,

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Speaker 2: maybe this is somebody's friend or boyfriend, like who is this?

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Speaker 2: So eventually Carl our friend goes over and he goes, hey, man,

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Speaker 2: who do you know here? And then goes like ooh,

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Speaker 2: you know here, and like makes fun of him, and

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Speaker 2: then just goes back to like opening a beer, drinking

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Speaker 2: half of it, putting it down, walking over, tilting art.

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Speaker 2: I mean, this guy was a menace. So finally, like

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Speaker 2: another forty five minute goes by and Carl's like, hey,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna punch this guy. I'm gonna tell him to

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Speaker 2: leave or I'm gonna punch him in the face. I

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Speaker 2: need you to back me up. And I was like okay.

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Speaker 2: So the door to the loft was already open, you

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Speaker 2: could go out into the halls. So Carl's like, hey, man,

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Speaker 2: you need to get out of here, and the guy's

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Speaker 2: like making fun of him. Still, He's like, seriously, get

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Speaker 2: the fuck out of here, and he starts walking him

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Speaker 2: to the door, walking behind this guy. So I start

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Speaker 2: walking behind Carl and I'm like here we go, and

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Speaker 2: all of a sudden, this dude turns around in the

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Speaker 2: doorway and the whole party's watching. Every single eyeball was like,

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Speaker 2: please get this guy out of here. I'm sure we

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Speaker 2: shut the door as soon as he left, and the

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Speaker 2: guy turns around, gets right in Carl's face and he

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Speaker 2: holds out his fist and he opens it slowly and

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Speaker 2: there's a purple crystal on the palm of his hand,

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Speaker 2: and he goes, this is what I'm all about, closes

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Speaker 2: this pom walks out, walks out. Carl turns around. He goes,

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Speaker 2: I think that guy just won, And I go he did.

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Speaker 2: And we've never stopped talking about it. He was not invited.

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Speaker 2: He was some rando, and right when he was about

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Speaker 2: to get punched in the face, he held out a

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Speaker 2: palm and this guy the furthest thing from somebody that

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Speaker 2: should own a crystal, like, and this is what I'm

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Speaker 2: all about. And we just froze. We were like, is

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Speaker 2: it gonna cast a spell on us?

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Speaker 1: Ah?

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Speaker 2: Incredible? Oh oh, I never forget as long as I live.

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Speaker 2: It was so good.

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Speaker 4: Oh.

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Speaker 1: I love him.

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Speaker 3: He is he is, he is, He is a perfect

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Speaker 3: He is the brother of the of the pigeon, the man.

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Speaker 1: Oh God, that's so great.

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Speaker 2: Isn't it. There is something I'm sure you've had that

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Speaker 2: with Heckler's or like people choose sometimes if you just

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Speaker 2: do something so such a hard turn or something so

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Speaker 2: out of left field, it jars people in a way

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Speaker 2: where you. It like deactivates the situation. It's really cool

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Speaker 2: when it happens.

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Speaker 1: I love it. And I was thinking about that.

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Speaker 3: I've been to I've been to parties in that place

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Speaker 3: so many times, and there was I remember some rooftop parties. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: great roof where it was like a week after a

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Speaker 3: guy they'd had been having a party up there and a.

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Speaker 1: Guy got hit by lightning really.

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Speaker 3: And his yes and got and his shoes got seared

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Speaker 3: to the roof and he got thrown like twenty feet whoa, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I remember telling me about it.

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Speaker 2: Amazing.

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Speaker 1: So but anyway, the reason I lived there was that.

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Speaker 3: So when I you know, I've spoken about it in

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Speaker 3: chunks and passing on the podcast before. But when I

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Speaker 3: was I had been dating a woman for thirteen years, right,

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Speaker 3: we decided to take a month off to sleep with

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Speaker 3: other people decide.

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Speaker 1: Whether or not we're gonna get married.

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Speaker 3: That month turned into three months, yes, And so for

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Speaker 3: the first month I was in my friend Damien's living

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Speaker 3: room on like the floor. He didn't have a door

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Speaker 3: to his bedroom. I was trying to sleep with as many.

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Speaker 1: People as possible. It's a bad situation.

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Speaker 3: So then I got in touch with Carl. Carl's like, listen,

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Speaker 3: I'm the super for this building. Nobody knows anything about

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Speaker 3: there's a there's an apartment that's unheated, but I have

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Speaker 3: keys to do you want to live there?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 3: So I was like yes, and so again I like

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Speaker 3: bring in like a futon on the floor and have

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Speaker 3: any space heaters.

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Speaker 1: And this is February is very, very fucking cold.

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Speaker 3: I remember there was like ice forming on the windows,

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Speaker 3: and I just had all the space heaters turned towards

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Speaker 3: the bed and then I would meet women at bars

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Speaker 3: and then bring them back to this place where I

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Speaker 3: was like squatting with.

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Speaker 1: Heaters on the floor.

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Speaker 3: It was like, I'm so embarrassed for my for my

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Speaker 3: former self. But I spent a long long time in there.

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Speaker 3: It was very difficult to hang out when it was

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Speaker 3: thirty degrees inside.

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Speaker 2: I think it's great you gave those nice ladies a story.

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Speaker 2: You're a nice guy. They had a one night stand

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Speaker 2: with a guy whose bed was an igloo with space

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Speaker 2: heaters pointed out it in a building full of squatters.

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Speaker 2: That's a great New York story. Now they live in Ohio,

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Speaker 2: they have a family. But you'll be what you're one

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Speaker 2: of those guys. You just you're one of those guys.

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Speaker 3: I'm one of those guys. I'm one of I'm the lunatic. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: in someone's past.

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Speaker 2: You're the crystal, You're the pigeon man, You're your space heater,

401
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:33,680
Speaker 2: your tall guy space heater.

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Speaker 3: Full circle. God damn it, Well we did it again, Scotty.

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Speaker 3: That's another minisode.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you, exactly right, Karen and Georgia. Thank you

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Speaker 2: to Katie Levine, our wonderful producer who puts all this together,

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Speaker 2: and our wonderful intern Lisa Maggott for helping us out

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Speaker 2: on social media.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and thank you, Scotty.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Kurt. Good to see you, my friend. Bananas Bananas.

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Speaker 2: This has been an exactly right production.

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Speaker 1: Produced and engineered by Katie.

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Speaker 2: Levine, theme music by Kahan.

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Speaker 1: And all of our artwork is done by Travis Millard.

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Speaker 2: You can follow us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast,

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00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,960
Speaker 2: where we post stories every day and things that we

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Speaker 2: don't cover on the podcast.

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Speaker 3: Listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on Apple podcast,

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00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:23,040
Speaker 3: Stitcher or wherever you get your podcast.

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00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:26,439
Speaker 2: And if you're interested in advertising on Bananas, please email

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Speaker 2: us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. That's

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Speaker 2: the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.