Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Centralow.
Speaker 2: What's up ere the edition listener? It's dull, say Sloan
Speaker 2: cours mind up. In the Daily Show, You're about to
Speaker 2: hear an episode of one of our original daily show podcasts,
Speaker 2: Hold Up, hosted by me and Daily Show writer Josh Johnson.
Speaker 2: It's where we take our office banter into a weekly
Speaker 2: war of words about topics big and small. In this episode,
Speaker 2: we debate still versus sparkling water. We go back and
Speaker 2: forth on which version of H two O will truly
Speaker 2: quench your thirst and why I prefer bubbly water or,
Speaker 2: as Josh calls it, burping bougie. Tune in for this
Speaker 2: fun debate, and if you like the show, check out
Speaker 2: the hold Up podcast wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: And were you drinking, by the way, still a sparkling.
Speaker 2: I was drinking still I can't say because a smart water?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, see, even you, even you and your private moments,
Speaker 1: you go still, You're like, calm all those bubbles down. Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: welcome to Hold Up. It's a big show about little
Speaker 1: things that really aren't anything. I am one of your
Speaker 1: co hosts. My name is Josh Shahnson. I'm a writer
Speaker 1: for the Daily Show, and I am joined.
Speaker 2: By those Day's line. I am a correspondent on a
Speaker 2: daily show. I'm also a stand up comedian like Josh,
Speaker 2: I also am a crafter. I like long locks on
Speaker 2: the beach, And like I said before, beating the Mall
Speaker 2: with your Daddy som somebody's daddy. That's who's been talking
Speaker 2: to me recently, is father's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you've been binge listening, in the Mall with
Speaker 1: your Daddy is a real theme, probably one of the
Speaker 1: strongest themes of this show. We've held on to In
Speaker 1: the Mall with Your Daddy longer than anything, longer than
Speaker 1: I've been doing a Manisphere content, longer than I've been grinding.
Speaker 1: In the Mall with Your Daddy has been consistently league
Speaker 1: in every episode for quite a while. And Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: a true movement.
Speaker 2: You know, you know, you never know where you're gonna
Speaker 2: be called upon.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because malls are dying and dads don't get enough love,
Speaker 1: and so to mix the both of them together to
Speaker 1: really say screw Amazon moms and let's go full mall dads. Wow, incredible.
Speaker 1: I applaud the work you do.
Speaker 2: We're on a start the episode, because I mean it's
Speaker 2: actually it's already started. It's already turning up.
Speaker 1: It's already turning up. And you know what we need
Speaker 1: because I don't know about you. I think you might.
Speaker 1: You might be at home right now. But from where
Speaker 1: I am recording, it is hot, all right. It is hot,
Speaker 1: like a place that I hope to never see. It
Speaker 1: is hot. It is, it is. It is sweltering. You're
Speaker 1: warming that podcastah, and the lights don't help, all right,
Speaker 1: it is. I am, Yes, I'm burned up, but it
Speaker 1: brings me to today's time.
Speaker 2: Y'all send my brother some war? Can you send them
Speaker 2: a cool beverage today?
Speaker 1: And I want you the listener to think about who
Speaker 1: ended up on which side? All right? Because today before
Speaker 1: we tell you, we're gonna let you know right now
Speaker 1: it's still versus sparkling water.
Speaker 2: Listen. What I challenge us today is we can both
Speaker 2: see both sides of it, cring right, both sides of
Speaker 2: his coin. But I think the listeners are gonna think, oh, well,
Speaker 2: Josh is going still and don't say it's going sparkling
Speaker 2: right m.
Speaker 1: You don't want them to play the music, You know what.
Speaker 2: Playing music all right. Listen, Joshua will tell.
Speaker 1: The people used to Oh you were right. I am
Speaker 1: still okay.
Speaker 2: We knew, we knew, we knew. Well. I want to
Speaker 2: say that the reason that I chose sparkling, and I
Speaker 2: think the reason that sparkling is getting the shine that
Speaker 2: it's getting is because everyone's trying to drink less sodas.
Speaker 2: I was never a big soda person, okay, because they
Speaker 2: were always too sweet for me, which I know people
Speaker 2: looking at me aren't gonna believe. But guess what. Most
Speaker 2: of the time obesity is genetic, Yeah, bitch, So I
Speaker 2: can say that a lot of times it was too
Speaker 2: sweet for me, but I really do enjoy. Also, we
Speaker 2: have to remember when it comes to the sparkling water one.
Speaker 2: I think it's an interesting term.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes it is.
Speaker 2: Why don't we just say.
Speaker 1: Bubble water because bubble water sounds like you're drinking plastic. Oh,
Speaker 1: the name bubble water just doesn't roll off the tongue
Speaker 1: like sparkling. Like if if you went to a nice
Speaker 1: restaurant they walk up to you, hands behind their backs,
Speaker 1: you know, the way that they lean over the table,
Speaker 1: like can we interest you in some still or bubble water?
Speaker 1: You'd be like the second one doesn't sound real, so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take the still.
Speaker 2: Okay. I was do wondering where they picked sparkling because
Speaker 2: it does seem like a very high end thing.
Speaker 1: Well, I think that my my uh thing with sparkling,
Speaker 1: why why I don't really drink it and why I
Speaker 1: picked still over it is that the best waters that
Speaker 1: I've ever had have all been still. I think that
Speaker 1: when it's still you pay attention to the taste more
Speaker 1: because you know, sparkling is it is a taste in
Speaker 1: a sense you know, well yeah.
Speaker 2: Because you have like but the thing is like there's
Speaker 2: the difference between like you've got a Seltzer and then
Speaker 2: you've got like club soda and so meltzer. That's that's
Speaker 2: a lot of Uh Seltzer is truly just drinking bubbles. Yes,
Speaker 2: there's no water in here.
Speaker 1: You've seen the person that was like, uh, sparkling water
Speaker 1: is just spicy water.
Speaker 2: Yes, somebody that come out like it's like McDonald's sprite
Speaker 2: is spicy. And then somebody said hotel air conditioning is
Speaker 2: the ac version of McDonald's sprite. I was like, yes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I accurate.
Speaker 1: Little little dirty gets the job done.
Speaker 2: Right, but the bubbles, like the bubbles and club soda.
Speaker 2: Club soda is giving you accompaniment. Club soda is giving you,
Speaker 2: you know, an accentuating and adjective to your beverage.
Speaker 1: Right, gotcha? Okay.
Speaker 2: In the words of Black Forager, the beverage alexis, we
Speaker 2: love her? Who knew that I could eat Magnolia's. I
Speaker 2: very much enjoy water. I always we all need to
Speaker 2: drink more water, but sometimes you just want to have
Speaker 2: a little adventure, so sometimes you would infuse your water.
Speaker 2: I love and infuse water, spa water. Oh did you
Speaker 2: think you see the thing? I think it was like
Speaker 2: over the summer where it was like I guess this
Speaker 2: white woman had never heard of like Agua Fresca before.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah, and they.
Speaker 2: Were calling it spaw water.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I did it.
Speaker 2: All of like getting like Latino TikTok or latinx TikTok
Speaker 2: or Latini TikTok uh was taking like white people things
Speaker 2: mm hmm and like they and so it's like, uh
Speaker 2: it was like oh, a hot dog was like, oh
Speaker 2: look at this, like like look at this fun taco,
Speaker 2: this fun taco. Yeah, fun tacos, or like a burger
Speaker 2: was like a torta or they would take all this
Speaker 2: like white people's shit. It'd be like, yeah, we're just
Speaker 2: gonna the same way your lat you tried to like steal,
Speaker 2: Oh you took water and put fruit and like it's
Speaker 2: like somebody's like, no, bitch. Like the girl did the
Speaker 2: whole recipe for like, I think it was like fresagafresca
Speaker 2: and she was like, oh, it's like strawberry spar water
Speaker 2: and I was like, no, no, it's not. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: just so not. It's so not. And so sometimes you
Speaker 2: just want a little divergence, you want a little fun thing.
Speaker 2: You're gonna throw some fruit and some water. So I
Speaker 2: get it. But also, have you heard this that sparkling
Speaker 2: water doesn't hydrate you.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I was just about to get to that. That's
Speaker 1: that's why I picked the still. I don't understand that
Speaker 1: this is my thing. It Okay, first of all, you know,
Speaker 1: we're just gonna get to that moment a little bit
Speaker 1: earlier than usual. Okay, we're just gonna go ahead and
Speaker 1: hit it up early. All right, all right for my
Speaker 1: men Jesus, all right, for my men out here fighting
Speaker 1: on the grind. Okay, you need to be hydrated. Okay,
Speaker 1: you don't need this sparkling, bubbly water. You don't need
Speaker 1: to be burping bougie, all right. You need to be
Speaker 1: hydrated with the elixir of life, with the body of
Speaker 1: the earth into your body so you can sweat, so
Speaker 1: you can have water that comes out of you that
Speaker 1: you're drinking. Right, it's a version of that because you
Speaker 1: can sweat out the toxins. Okay, you can't do that
Speaker 1: off sparkling water. You can't do that. If you try
Speaker 1: to work out and have sparkling water, I bet you
Speaker 1: pass out. I bet you pass out. Yeah, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. Dul said, do you really want to be
Speaker 1: out here trying to grind, trying to get the man
Speaker 1: shoulders with bubbles coming out of your body? All right,
Speaker 1: you can grind with bubbles. Bubbles too soft? Okay, did
Speaker 1: you imagine being in a jimmy?
Speaker 2: You see.
Speaker 1: When you out here bench pressing and you're and you're
Speaker 1: putting in so much work that you're sweating that you're
Speaker 1: that you're just shooting water out of your pores. You
Speaker 1: don't want bubbles in your pores. It'll kill you, believe me.
Speaker 1: Believe me. If you get bubbles in your pores. You're
Speaker 1: gonna die, all right.
Speaker 2: Carbonated water is because carbon dioxide, right. I wonder what
Speaker 2: would happen if you put another gas in the water, Like,
Speaker 2: can't you put another thing in it? Like put like
Speaker 2: a bunch of Can you put a bunch of oxygen
Speaker 2: in the water? Can you oxygenate water? You can oxygenate water,
Speaker 2: can't you?
Speaker 1: You're asking the wrong person.
Speaker 2: You also have a theater degree.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, yeah, I'm just here because I think still
Speaker 1: is the best nutritional you know, Yeah, yeah, yeah, you
Speaker 1: get your minerals in all right, Okay, they add minerals
Speaker 1: to the water, Okay.
Speaker 2: Oxygenated water is a relatively new functional water product that
Speaker 2: has oxygen added to in the canting process or boling process.
Speaker 2: The added oxygens claim to provide health benefits, including aiding
Speaker 2: exercise recovery, flushing out toxes toxins, and improving alcohol matame Baliza, Josh,
Speaker 2: are we about to get in the oxygenated water game?
Speaker 1: I think if we get into oxygenated water and I'm
Speaker 1: already drinking green tea and I'm already eating dark chocolate,
Speaker 1: I think I might be the healthiest man that's ever lived.
Speaker 1: All right, I think I might actually be so healthy
Speaker 1: I start floating. That's what I want. Some people want
Speaker 1: to get big and strong and look all more's chestnutty.
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to flow. I'm so healthy.
Speaker 2: They're not making that man. No more, we're not We're
Speaker 2: not printing this nigga out no more. I don't know what.
Speaker 2: I don't know what happened. I think you had to
Speaker 2: be born in the seventies.
Speaker 1: He drinks still water, all right, I'll tell you that
Speaker 1: right now. That dude drinks a bunch of water.
Speaker 2: He has to his skin is.
Speaker 1: It's it's honestly like wild.
Speaker 2: This is the thing. He's one of those dudes where
Speaker 2: you're just like, I know, he's like I know plenty
Speaker 2: of married men. Women try them all the time. People
Speaker 2: try like women men whoever, there are married men who
Speaker 2: get tried by people all the time. And I've heard
Speaker 2: married men tell me plenty of married men have said
Speaker 2: when they had their rings on, there was women in
Speaker 2: their face or people in their face all the time.
Speaker 2: He is one of those dudes where like, when you
Speaker 2: find out he's married, you're just like respect and then
Speaker 2: you just back away. Slowly, like I'm gonna be as
Speaker 2: respectful to this man, because some men you're like, I'm
Speaker 2: married here, and I'm sure one of them like give
Speaker 2: a fuck what I mean to me, which is always
Speaker 2: a crazy response from a human being. But there's also
Speaker 2: certain people where you're just like and God, bless your wife,
Speaker 2: like you just want like I don't want, I don't
Speaker 2: want to call.
Speaker 1: His skin is so clear, it does look like he
Speaker 1: could melt. Yeah, he's like chocolate chocolate.
Speaker 2: Remember those axe bidispray commercials, And people got mad because
Speaker 2: I guess it was like chocolate scented and they were
Speaker 2: like women like this woman on this bus like bit
Speaker 2: into this man, like this chocolate man.
Speaker 1: No, I did not see this.
Speaker 2: It was an ax Bidis pray commercial. This woman bit
Speaker 2: into this chocolate man, and people wanted to be upset
Speaker 2: about it. And I was like, I don't understand why
Speaker 2: people are mad about this. This seems like a wonderful idea.
Speaker 2: It got mad. Also, people also got mad at there
Speaker 2: was like a Skittles commercial where there's like I guess
Speaker 2: things that didn't make sense, and it was a Korean
Speaker 2: irishman if. People got mad at that too, because It
Speaker 2: was this Korean man but he had a red beard
Speaker 2: and a heavy Irish accent. It was funny and.
Speaker 1: Ship, Now did are there any Korean irishman?
Speaker 2: I mean Asian?
Speaker 1: There's gotta be some, right, there's Chinese Jamaicans. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: still when you when you, when it happens, we can't act.
Speaker 1: This is my thing. This is what I don't like
Speaker 1: when people do. Sometimes something will happen and people aren't
Speaker 1: even allowed to be surprised. Yeah, like I was, the
Speaker 1: innocence of surprise can't also be Yeah, you see, there
Speaker 1: was there was.
Speaker 2: A Jamaican restaurant in Miami that that was run by
Speaker 2: Chinese Jamaicans and there was literally two lines in the restaurant,
Speaker 2: people that had been there before and people that hadn't
Speaker 2: been there before because the people that hadn't been there
Speaker 2: before needed a minute to process what was happening.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: So there's and there were these two like it's it
Speaker 2: sounds like a movie. There was these two old Jamaican men,
Speaker 2: like black Jamaican men that would sit there like playing
Speaker 2: chess or some shit, and then they would watch people
Speaker 2: come in the restaurant. And like one time we came
Speaker 2: there was they were. I told this story for years.
Speaker 2: I was a little girl. The mother and the son
Speaker 2: were arguing in the back m and you hear two
Speaker 2: Jamaican people arguing. And then this guy, he's never been
Speaker 2: there before, he was like talking to me, was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I heard it's a great spot. D D D. And
Speaker 2: he's standing there at the register and the lady comes
Speaker 2: out and she's like, you know, it's like, you know,
Speaker 2: how can I help you? And he goes and she's like, yes,
Speaker 2: I said Chinese a Jamaica. Do whatt you on? And
Speaker 2: he's like ah, and she's like okay, stand over there.
Speaker 2: And then there was just like a line of people
Speaker 2: who were just processing Chinese Jamaicans. And then there was
Speaker 2: a lot of people getting food. Like it was like, oh,
Speaker 2: you don't get stand over at your wist and time
Speaker 2: and so of course they were out of everything ever,
Speaker 2: like every good Jamaican restaurant is. But then there was
Speaker 2: a line of people and so but the guys were like, oh,
Speaker 2: watch this, like they would tap. They were like, you
Speaker 2: know how black people see something that tap? You're like,
Speaker 2: so he comes up talking, yeah, you know, I heard
Speaker 2: it was a good spot, and they're just sitting there
Speaker 2: like m He's like, he's like, oh, you've never been
Speaker 2: here before, and they're like no, He's like he just
Speaker 2: went okay, and then they were like very excited to
Speaker 2: see this man see Chinese Jamaicas for the first time. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but it's like, think about it as a kid, the
Speaker 2: first time he saw a black person with a British accent.
Speaker 1: You're like, what the hell is Yeah, what do you?
Speaker 1: What are you doing? What do you?
Speaker 2: What do you?
Speaker 1: You're real good at that, that's a real good And
Speaker 1: then and then obviously you realize history.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you're like, oh it you know Wynn
Speaker 2: Wood and just elbow Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool cool.
Speaker 2: But also it's like, but people are everywhere, so yeah,
Speaker 2: because when I was in Scotland, we went to a
Speaker 2: Korean restaurant in Scotland and I've been to I've been
Speaker 2: to a Korean restaurant on a straight I always I
Speaker 2: guess I was going somewhere and look for Korean restaurants
Speaker 2: because it's more viable for their because like my two
Speaker 2: favorite foods are Mexican food and Crean food, and sometimes
Speaker 2: more plausible for there be a Korean restaurant somewhere than
Speaker 2: there is a Mexican restaurant somewhere, because I remember we
Speaker 2: were shooting at TV show in London and they had
Speaker 2: like a Mexican restaurant that that was like catering, and
Speaker 2: I was like, this is gonna be bad, but I'm
Speaker 2: gonna order it because I want to see how bad
Speaker 2: it's gonna be.
Speaker 1: Can you okay?
Speaker 2: Bloody terrible? Yeah. I was like, this place needs to
Speaker 2: be I remember going, Josh, this way needs to be
Speaker 2: shut down.
Speaker 1: The thing, okay that I you reminded me of when
Speaker 1: you were saying like any good Jamaican place, you know
Speaker 1: they were out of everything, is that when I am
Speaker 1: in a place that's very specific, like we're talking like
Speaker 1: not just a general country's cuisine or you know, like
Speaker 1: culture's cuisine, We're talking like like super super specific. When
Speaker 1: that like just a ramen spot and they're not out
Speaker 1: of anything, and it's a little late in the day,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I'm gonna get poisoned.
Speaker 2: Ah. It's like all y'all are doing is ramen. How
Speaker 2: does everything on the menu available?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Like it's like if you went in a Jamaican
Speaker 1: place and they were like, oh no, we're fully stocked,
Speaker 1: and it's like seven pm. You're like, oh, no, what
Speaker 1: went wrong here?
Speaker 2: I feel like sometimes it's like I honestly have to go. Oh,
Speaker 2: maybe you're paying attention to your inventory.
Speaker 1: Maybe you roll that's when you roll the dice, you're like, look,
Speaker 1: maybe someone in the back is very good at inventory,
Speaker 1: or somebody in the back is very bad at cooking,
Speaker 1: but we're about to find out.
Speaker 2: It is interesting when you go to a Jamaican spot
Speaker 2: and you're like, oh, y'all have mm hmm everything, Like
Speaker 2: the place we went to in London. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I think the two because he went like what two maybe.
Speaker 1: Three times something like that. At least two.
Speaker 2: They were always out of the paddies. Yes, there are
Speaker 2: than the beef or the chicken. The veggie they always had.
Speaker 2: I'm like, bro, I don't want a vegetable medley wrapping dough.
Speaker 1: I'm good, Yeah, but yeah, why yeah? Why undercut all
Speaker 1: my vegetables right now with a deep fried brandy dough? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean that's that's the other thing I think still
Speaker 1: wins out because still is everywhere. Sparkling isn't everywhere.
Speaker 2: But maybe because sparkling is so new to us as
Speaker 2: a concept as a label, you know, uh, because like
Speaker 2: as a kid, you didn't really drink. Like there's so
Speaker 2: many water brands now, Like it makes me go, like
Speaker 2: when I see all these water brands, I was like,
Speaker 2: what if the water that we need they're just sitting
Speaker 2: in these bottles, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like the world?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like the way we like it's like You're like, oh,
Speaker 2: there's a water shortage, and I'm like, yeah, cause like
Speaker 2: fucking pond.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we bottled it all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we bottled it all, and then we wouldn't and
Speaker 2: then we opened a bottle, took a couple of SIPs,
Speaker 2: and now we can't figure out because I literally I
Speaker 2: was at a bar yesterday. I think I think I
Speaker 2: thought I drank my water. I think I drank someone
Speaker 2: else's water.
Speaker 1: What what happened?
Speaker 2: So I'm not No, I had a water in my
Speaker 2: jacket and I threw my jacket over in the booth
Speaker 2: and I left, and I was like, oh, my jacket
Speaker 2: with the bottle was like the top of it was
Speaker 2: like pushed in, like it fell down. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: somebody picked up my water and put on the table
Speaker 2: mm hmm. And then and so I grabbed it was
Speaker 2: drinking it because I didn't think because it was like
Speaker 2: it was a bottle of smart water that I'd gotten
Speaker 2: from work, and I knew it was my water because
Speaker 2: it was water in my jacket. And then I was
Speaker 2: talking to this guy at the bar and he was
Speaker 2: drinking a bottle of smart water, and I'm like, I've
Speaker 2: never seen a bar with bottles of smart water. And
Speaker 2: I was like, oh shit, I drink that water because
Speaker 2: I knew it was my water because bars on the
Speaker 2: bottles of smart water. And then it's like, wait a
Speaker 2: fucking minute, this might not be And by that point
Speaker 2: it was too late, you know what. But when I
Speaker 2: put on my jacket last night, there was not any
Speaker 2: water it maybe there was my water. Where'd my water go?
Speaker 1: You know, sometimes there's a mystery that just cannot be solved.
Speaker 2: Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Earhart, Yeah, where's my water?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Where's my water? Sounds like one of them. And
Speaker 1: were you drinking by the way still or sparkling?
Speaker 2: I was drinking still, I can't say, because a smart water.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. See, even you, even you and your private moments,
Speaker 1: you go still, you like calm all those bubbles down.
Speaker 1: Let's get that still in listen.
Speaker 2: Sometimes, like if you've ever had I love doing like
Speaker 2: a fruit infused water. Yeah, and so I'll take a
Speaker 2: little fruit and fuse water and then i'll uh maybe
Speaker 2: sometimes I'll do it with sparkling. Sometimes I do it
Speaker 2: with steal. Sometimes what I'll do is I'll put a
Speaker 2: little like po like or this electrolite, which I really like.
Speaker 1: You like that one?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like this one. This is a coconut flavor. No,
Speaker 2: not the technically there's water in here now, but m
Speaker 2: mm hmm. Coconut flavor is nice. It only takes a
Speaker 2: little bit like sunscreen, but it makes you feel like summertime.
Speaker 2: So and you could do any time. I like a
Speaker 2: tropical uh fruit because it holds up more in the water. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but like a cucumber, water is very good cucumb's I
Speaker 2: can say that for the fun factor. Just like when
Speaker 2: you're sitting up drinking like fucking eight glasses of water,
Speaker 2: I think all this water is supposed to be drinking. Yeah,
Speaker 2: sometimes you're like, I need to switch things up a bit.
Speaker 2: If you have like a whiskey and soda, right, it
Speaker 2: gives you a little something as opposed to just putting
Speaker 2: straight water in some whiskey because when my friends used
Speaker 2: to do whiskey and water, and I'm like, I don't
Speaker 2: you sound.
Speaker 1: So I just used to do less whiskey.
Speaker 2: No, you take whiskey like you're little, you know, don't
Speaker 2: whatever how much whiskey. And then they would just have
Speaker 2: them put in like as much club soda as someone
Speaker 2: would put in. Yeah, they would put in some water.
Speaker 1: So wait, okay, wait they would, but they are watering
Speaker 1: down their whiskey.
Speaker 2: But anytime you put in a mixer, you're watering down alcohol.
Speaker 2: Was there the club sodas just water with bubbles in it.
Speaker 2: This is just water with no bubbles in it.
Speaker 1: But the water is just straight water. So the water
Speaker 1: is like diluting the whiskey. Isn't the club soda adding
Speaker 1: bubbles and some water? Yes, Because if the water in
Speaker 1: club soda doesn't have the same like makeup as the
Speaker 1: still water, it seems it's like breaking my brain because
Speaker 1: I'm like, when you add club soda, it feels like
Speaker 1: you're adding something. When you add water, it just feels
Speaker 1: like you're taking something away.
Speaker 2: I understand what you're saying, because you'd also get it
Speaker 2: with no ice.
Speaker 1: Either can't tell you when I work. Way back when
Speaker 1: I worked at Julia's, this is what we came in
Speaker 1: and she wanted like basically a cup of ice water.
Speaker 1: She wants water, and she was like, don't put any
Speaker 1: ice in it, though, And I always used to do
Speaker 1: that because I know that the ice can take up
Speaker 1: so much space in the cup that you're getting less
Speaker 1: of your drink. Yeah, but she was like, I don't
Speaker 1: want to get water down because it'll taste different. And
Speaker 1: I was like, it'll taste the ice will taste it'll
Speaker 1: and she was like, yeah, it'll taste different if I
Speaker 1: let it. If the ice water is my drink down,
Speaker 1: it'll taste different. And I was like, I thought she
Speaker 1: for a second. I was like, oh, so you don't
Speaker 1: want water, and she was like, no, I do want water.
Speaker 1: I just don't want it to get I know.
Speaker 2: Some people don't like restaurant ice. Okay, I know some
Speaker 2: people they won't like if you're on vacation, won't drink
Speaker 2: ice because the water isn't always filtered.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that does make sense.
Speaker 2: I know when I was in the UK, they don't
Speaker 2: serve alcoholic beverages. Like when I was in Scotland Edinborough
Speaker 2: fringe and they were saying that they only have ice
Speaker 2: for the Americans because they'll make because they'll make a drink.
Speaker 1: And they don't do ice.
Speaker 2: They don't do ice. So like the alcohol's room temperature
Speaker 2: m hm, and say they get like a whiskey and
Speaker 2: soda both items are like room temperature.
Speaker 1: That makes sense because then people will come here and
Speaker 1: be like, oh this is this drink is so nice,
Speaker 1: or like this thing is so refreshing.
Speaker 2: Well, nothing's refreshing at room temperature.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, But they were.
Speaker 2: Saying that the reason they don't do ice is because
Speaker 2: it waters down to drink there, like Americans are obsessed.
Speaker 1: With getting our ice in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I think we love a cold that rich
Speaker 2: m hm. Also, I don't mind ice watering down a
Speaker 2: drink that doesn't bother me because my goal is not
Speaker 2: to get fucking trashed. My goal is to enjoy an
Speaker 2: alcoholic beverage.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And at the end of the day, it's like I
Speaker 2: don't one hundred listen, No one enjoys the taste of alcohol.
Speaker 1: Okay, people enjoy the.
Speaker 2: Feeling that they get from alcohol, or you've had better
Speaker 2: tasting alcohol. But if we enjoyed the taste of alcohol,
Speaker 2: we wouldn't have cocktails and we wouldn't have mixed drinks. Sure,
Speaker 2: if alcohol tasted good, m we'd have no screwdrivers, no
Speaker 2: gin and juice, no other other that we wouldn't be
Speaker 2: doing another shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it it is smelly.
Speaker 2: It is. It's smelly, it's flammable. It could do a
Speaker 2: lot of damage to your body if you drinking on
Speaker 2: a regular basis. M. But I can say that's sparkling water. Now,
Speaker 2: It's like that makes sense because like the fact that
Speaker 2: just water adding watered alcoholic broke your brain because I
Speaker 2: felt like it was taking something away that's so interesting
Speaker 2: club like it's adding something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it just felt like it was adding the bubbles,
Speaker 1: it was adding the you know what I mean? Because
Speaker 1: I also think for your health and for feeling refreshed,
Speaker 1: still is the way to go. I think that it
Speaker 1: is like sparkling is a more we're adding event or
Speaker 1: we're having dinner. Yeah, we're having fun. But if it's
Speaker 1: hot out and somebody basically offers you a flavorless sprite,
Speaker 1: you're gonna start swinging. Even if they offered you like
Speaker 1: a lacroix, you'd be like, I am burning up if
Speaker 1: I don't need that.
Speaker 2: I learned that on a summer's day it was hot.
Speaker 2: I was outside someone Handluya Lacroix, and I was like,
Speaker 2: what a fucking waste of time? It tasted good. We
Speaker 2: all love Pompa Moose, But did I get the refreshing
Speaker 2: that I needed in that moment? I did not? Okay,
Speaker 2: I mean darkly has I do love that?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: Because there's different levels of you know, bujas in your water.
Speaker 2: M hmm, some of them seem bigger than others. Coca
Speaker 2: Cola seems to have the biggest fucking bubbles in life.
Speaker 2: Pepsi seems to be bigger. I don't even like pepsi.
Speaker 2: But I did have a Coca Cola for the first
Speaker 2: time many years, about like two months ago. M hm,
Speaker 2: that motherfucker. It's not a bad I get it. I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna probably drink it again for five more years.
Speaker 2: But how you can drink Coca cola regular basis?
Speaker 1: I also don't like. I've known people like my grandmother
Speaker 1: drank it a lot, and I was just like, I
Speaker 1: don't get how this is. I feel like, now you
Speaker 1: just have a sugar craving. Now it's more like, oh
Speaker 1: you like the repetition. It's it's more routine now. It
Speaker 1: can't be for this flavor because she gave me someone
Speaker 1: time and I was like, hoof taste like burn.
Speaker 2: It is heavy. It is heavy.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Fact, when you got experiment as a kid, you put
Speaker 2: the tooth in coco cola and agains rubbery. Has always
Speaker 2: bugged me. You're drinking a coke. Your teeth feel weird.
Speaker 2: But a cold Coca Cola does do something. Because cold
Speaker 2: Coca cola, a nice ice, cold Coca cola on a
Speaker 2: hot day, we'll do more than a Lacroix. I can't
Speaker 2: ask you this. Have you for to wrap up soda stream?
Speaker 1: I've tried it and it is not for me. But
Speaker 1: I respect a good soda stream. I respect a soda
Speaker 1: stream in the home, you know. I respect someone's twenty
Speaker 1: four to seven access need for a bubbly water.
Speaker 2: Did you know? And this is where my listeners out there.
Speaker 2: I was at someone's house for a h New Year's
Speaker 2: Day brunch. Were there? The New Years are a part
Speaker 2: of the night before everyone went home. We came back
Speaker 2: for brunch. They were doing mimosas ran out of shit campaign.
Speaker 2: But people had brought like a couple bottles of white
Speaker 2: wine and I said, Yo, just put this cheap ass
Speaker 2: wine in the soda stream and it worked. That's wild's
Speaker 2: But that's all champagne is just carbonated wine. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's not fermented, because fermented is different. It's carbonated wine.
Speaker 2: So you put the white wine, and I want and
Speaker 2: I want to hear. I want to see all the comments.
Speaker 2: I want to see all the messages for people that
Speaker 2: took some cheap ass box wine tossed it to the
Speaker 2: fuck of soda stream and bam, it's Mimosa's all day, baby,
Speaker 2: what it's happened to be alive? So let's kick it
Speaker 2: over to the listeners because I know that this is
Speaker 2: a constant conversation that we're all having right now, sparkling
Speaker 2: versus bubbles. We all know that sparkling. I guess it
Speaker 2: had to gets rich people origins. So this white's called
Speaker 2: sparkling because you know, middle class and lower we would
Speaker 2: have called it bubble water and kept it moving, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean, look, I just want to hear
Speaker 1: from y'all out there. Do you prefer when when the
Speaker 1: server comes up to you. Do you prefer still is sparkling?
Speaker 1: Do you like the feeling of the bubbles? Do you
Speaker 1: like to watch them pop up to the top of
Speaker 1: the glass. Are you a bit bougie?
Speaker 2: Hold on, I have gone out to the restaurants recently
Speaker 2: and it's been still sparkling or tap.
Speaker 1: Mmm, okay, it's coming out of a bottle, yottle, it's.
Speaker 2: Coming out of a bottle. And so somebody said to me,
Speaker 2: and there's this U comic on Instagram. I think his
Speaker 2: name is mister Red that I watch on TikTok because
Speaker 2: the Cuban guy and he does like the two parts
Speaker 2: between him and his girlfriend, it is absolutely amazing. But
Speaker 2: they do like a schedule. They're on a date and
Speaker 2: the guy comes up, you know, still a sparkling water,
Speaker 2: you know, attack he's like, ye'all take government water. And
Speaker 2: for like a week where I would go out like
Speaker 2: we want are the government Water's fine?
Speaker 1: And it makes you stop, makes you you know, is
Speaker 1: it bottle? Is it bottle or is it sink?
Speaker 2: Is it bottle or is it sink?
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: And them is the question as lass that we have
Speaker 2: to ask in these streets because you never know whose
Speaker 2: municipalities you out here sipping on friends?
Speaker 1: You let us know, let us know in the comments
Speaker 1: we read them, we love them, and let us know
Speaker 1: who you think did the better job of debating their side.
Speaker 1: All right, are you? Are you with me? Are you
Speaker 1: gonna keep it still? Are you gonna be out here
Speaker 1: and the only thing still about you is your water
Speaker 1: because you're always grinding, you always running, you always putting
Speaker 1: in a work. Or are you gonna sparkle? You're gonna
Speaker 1: try to be a little star? Huh, be a.
Speaker 2: Star, be a star? Look at look at your girl.
Speaker 2: Check it out. Bam bam bam. I've lift up my foot.
Speaker 2: But you know that's you gotta earn that, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean. So I'm saying this. We're always glad
Speaker 2: that y'all are listening to you know, me and Josh
Speaker 2: just have these conversations about the things that you think
Speaker 2: are interesting. Please keep posting your comments, Please keep telling
Speaker 2: us what things you want us to debate, because I'm
Speaker 2: telling you I finally found the long Instagram message.
Speaker 1: Yes yes, and that lad.
Speaker 2: Young lady put in a lot of work. So thank you, friend.
Speaker 2: When we do yours, we will definitely I will definitely
Speaker 2: make sure that we shout you out and let us
Speaker 2: know if you want us to come to your city,
Speaker 2: to your city, to your city.
Speaker 1: Yes, we're always touring, so if you check the links
Speaker 1: in the description, you can find both of us and
Speaker 1: our dates and everything.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and listen, me and Josh would love to come
Speaker 2: to your city, to your neighborhood and talk about things
Speaker 2: in a public poor. Also, I'm trying to check out
Speaker 2: these malls because guess who's in there.
Speaker 1: Yo, Daddy, you'll have a great rest of the week
Speaker 1: into the weekend. We appreciate you. Explore more shows from
Speaker 1: the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show
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Speaker 1: pull episodes anytime on Faaramount Plus.
Speaker 2: This has been a Comedy Central podcast