1 00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:09,080 Speaker 1: Ola espiro Kistin Muibian. Welcome to another episode of Cheeky's 2 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:09,480 Speaker 1: and Chill. 3 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 2: I'm your host. 4 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:14,000 Speaker 1: Cheeky's and today we're going to be talking about a 5 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:18,560 Speaker 1: very heavy topic, sexual abuse. We should note that if 6 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:21,360 Speaker 1: you find this topic triggering, you'll want to skip this 7 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:25,200 Speaker 1: episode and check out one of the other ones. Sexual 8 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 1: abuse is something I've talked about, but I want to 9 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 1: dive into it a little deeper here on my podcast. 10 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:33,599 Speaker 1: I'm going to be sharing my experience with it, how 11 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: it's affected me, and how I've managed to move forward 12 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 1: with my life. So, without further ado, let's get into 13 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:49,559 Speaker 1: this week's episode of Cheeky's and Chill. Okay, guys, this 14 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:53,040 Speaker 1: is a pretty hard topic to talk about. I have 15 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 1: been open about being sexually abused by my father, my 16 00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:01,560 Speaker 1: biological father. I've never really talked about it in detail. 17 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 1: I've written about it in my book Berelon, but again 18 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:08,959 Speaker 1: not even I didn't go that deep into detail. I've 19 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:10,880 Speaker 1: said it over and over again, guys. I want to 20 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:14,320 Speaker 1: share my experiences to hopefully help others. That's why I 21 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: share so much. That's why I'm so open. I'm so transparent. 22 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:20,960 Speaker 1: I write books because I feel like the only way 23 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:25,959 Speaker 1: to help others is by being honest. I was sexually 24 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 1: abused by my father the first time. I remember, I 25 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 1: was eight years old, and I'll never forget this day 26 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:42,639 Speaker 1: because at that time, we were living with my dad, 27 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 1: my sister, Jackie, Mikey, and I and what we were 28 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,000 Speaker 1: going to do was live with Dad six months out 29 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: of the year and see my mom on the weekends, 30 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 1: and then the other half of the year we were 31 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 1: going to live with my mom and then see my 32 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 1: dad on the weekends. So that was something that we 33 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:03,120 Speaker 1: had or my parents had decided when they separated, and 34 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:09,560 Speaker 1: my mom was really focused on working and doing real estate, 35 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,079 Speaker 1: so we had decided that we were going to live 36 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:12,480 Speaker 1: with dad. 37 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:13,240 Speaker 2: First. 38 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:16,239 Speaker 1: I say wee because my mom did ask me and 39 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:20,040 Speaker 1: I said, okay, that's fine. Again, during this time, there 40 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: was never an issue, I mean, because we lived with 41 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: my dad and my mom, and yes, I grew up 42 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 1: saying a lot going on in my household. There was 43 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:36,920 Speaker 1: domestic violence in our home. So I personally did feel 44 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:38,919 Speaker 1: I was sad when my dad left, but I did 45 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 1: feel that it was the best decision because they were 46 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 1: just unhappy and they were always arguing and I didn't 47 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: have a problem with my dad. If anything, I had 48 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 1: a really close relationship with both my parents. So when 49 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 1: we lived with my dad, we were living in a 50 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:01,640 Speaker 1: two bedroom apartment with his sister, and I remember my 51 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 1: dad had this blue bottom bed and it was a 52 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 1: twin bed on the top and then on the bottom 53 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 1: it was a queen and we all slept. My brother 54 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 1: Mikey slept on the top, and then my dad, my 55 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: sister Jackie, and I slept on the bottom butt And 56 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:20,280 Speaker 1: then things started happening, stuff that I was not aware 57 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 1: were wrong at the time. To be honest, in my house, 58 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,040 Speaker 1: this is another thing that I want to talk about. 59 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 1: My mom didn't talk about sex with us. With me, 60 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: it was a taboo. It was something you don't talk about, you. 61 00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 2: Know what I mean. 62 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 1: And I didn't know. I didn't know what sex was. 63 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 1: I just knew that I had a cocita in between 64 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 1: my legs and I had to wash it, and that's 65 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,920 Speaker 1: all I knew. And again, guys, I'm going to be 66 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,880 Speaker 1: try to be kind of vague, but I'm gonna be 67 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 1: straight up here, you know. 68 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 2: So we're gonna cut out a cosita. So that's all 69 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 2: I really knew. 70 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 1: When I would wake up in the middle of the 71 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 1: night and my dad's hands were were in my panties. 72 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 1: I was just like, I didn't know. I honestly was 73 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 1: just shocked. I wasn't sure. I know, it felt uncomfortable, 74 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:20,480 Speaker 1: but I didn't know it was wrong. As weird as 75 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 1: that sounds, I felt it was a form of him 76 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 1: showing me affection. It was always I was always I 77 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,480 Speaker 1: would always wake up to this. I mean it happened 78 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: more often than not, and that was always at night. Now, 79 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:41,600 Speaker 1: one time I was eight years old and I was 80 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,240 Speaker 1: still living with him. We went to the beach and 81 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,919 Speaker 1: it was a beach day, and my cousins went and 82 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 1: my aunt went, and it was, you know, a beach 83 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 1: day was on the weekend, and my sister, Jackie and I. 84 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 2: I'll never forget that day because Jackie almost drowned that day. 85 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,120 Speaker 1: I remember my dad was off flirting with some girl 86 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 1: and I was left with my sister, my baby's sister. 87 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 2: She was four years old at the time. 88 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,120 Speaker 1: We were holding hands and we were kind of just 89 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,560 Speaker 1: playing in the water, and then a big wave came 90 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 1: and took Jackie literally out of my hand, and I 91 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,840 Speaker 1: just remember watching her and she was like in this 92 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: little tornadle of water. I don't know what to call it. 93 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: And she was just like going around in circles right 94 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,560 Speaker 1: before my eyes, and I was yelling and I was like, 95 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,280 Speaker 1: oh my god, what do I do. My dad was 96 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 1: over there flirting with some girls, and my cousin, who 97 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,839 Speaker 1: was a little older than me, went into the ocean 98 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,080 Speaker 1: and rescued my sister from there. It was like beach 99 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:36,080 Speaker 1: day was over. We went back home. Everyone was scared, 100 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,280 Speaker 1: and my dad sent me to go shower. 101 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,080 Speaker 2: And it was during the day. 102 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:42,799 Speaker 1: It was like I must have been like three pm, 103 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,719 Speaker 1: four pm, something like that, and he said, you know, 104 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,200 Speaker 1: go shower. And I remember saying okay, because Jackie and 105 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:51,600 Speaker 1: I would shower together. And he said, no, no, she's gonna 106 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:54,920 Speaker 1: eat you go ahead and shower, and I was like okay. 107 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 1: So I went to shower, and a few minutes later, 108 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,320 Speaker 1: I was taking off my clothes, and you know, because 109 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 1: we were all sandy, you know, their stand everywhere. He 110 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:11,360 Speaker 1: walks into into the into the bathroom and he starts 111 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,159 Speaker 1: kind of getting undressed and he's like in his boxers 112 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,480 Speaker 1: and I'm about to get in the shower and he's like, no, no, 113 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,680 Speaker 1: hold on. He sits on the on the toilet, closes 114 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 1: the little the toilet, of course, sits on the toilet, 115 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 1: and then says, sit on my lap. So I did, 116 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:30,040 Speaker 1: and that's when I just started feeling pressure down there. 117 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 1: And I remember just screaming and saying no, and I 118 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 1: was started crying and I just he says okay. He 119 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:39,160 Speaker 1: was like, you know, yeah, relac, you know, to get 120 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,720 Speaker 1: in the shower. So I got in the shower and 121 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,640 Speaker 1: I was just crying and I just like cornered myself 122 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,560 Speaker 1: and he came into the shower with me and just said, 123 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 1: you know, don't worry, and he even said, you know 124 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:01,840 Speaker 1: the way then I'm on that am Mexico. I bet 125 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: a Mexico. And I was like what so of course 126 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 1: I'm eight years old, and I'm like I don't want 127 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:09,159 Speaker 1: to I'm not and I just stayed quiet. It stopped 128 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 1: for a little bit after that. I just knew that 129 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 1: it hurt. I was like, something doesn't feel right. It hurts, 130 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:17,280 Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, something's weird. So I just started 131 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 1: telling my mom, Mom, I don't want to live with 132 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,600 Speaker 1: dad anymore. It had been like a couple months and 133 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:23,240 Speaker 1: I was like, Mom, every weekend. I don't want to 134 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 1: go back to my dad's. 135 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,880 Speaker 2: My aunt. I would say, she's mean to us, she's 136 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,400 Speaker 2: mean to us. Can we just stay with you? 137 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 1: And I begged her so much that finally she's like, Okay, fine, fine, 138 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 1: you'll just live with me and you'll go see your 139 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 1: dad on the weekends. And I'd find any excuse for 140 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 1: a long time because I was scared, you know, not 141 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 1: to go to my dad's house. And I would always 142 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,880 Speaker 1: sleep next to him when we would go because I 143 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 1: didn't want Jackie to sleep next to him because I 144 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:46,000 Speaker 1: was worried. I'm like, okay, what if he's doing that 145 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:52,440 Speaker 1: to her? And I never said anything. When I realized 146 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 1: that it was wrong, that something was weird was when 147 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 1: I was ten years old, because kids at school, I 148 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,360 Speaker 1: was like in fifth grade, then they started talking about 149 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 1: sex and kissing and boys and all this stuff. Mind you, 150 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,400 Speaker 1: I had been going to church, so I was very 151 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 1: like into religion Christianity with my grandma and my mom. 152 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 1: She would go to church every Sunday. So at school 153 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,480 Speaker 1: was when you start hearing all these things from other kids. 154 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 1: And I had a best friend at the time. Her 155 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 1: name was Vanessa, and she was very very advanced. 156 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 2: You know. 157 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:28,080 Speaker 1: I was a little bit more innocent, I could say, 158 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,680 Speaker 1: because again, I was in church, and we didn't talk 159 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 1: about those things in my household, about sex and about 160 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: all these things and about kissing and about all this stuff. 161 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:38,240 Speaker 1: So I started learning about this from my friend Vanessa 162 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,959 Speaker 1: in school and I was like, oh my gosh, like 163 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 1: that sex. 164 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:42,920 Speaker 2: When we started talking. 165 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: About it, and you know, and kissing and touching and 166 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,400 Speaker 1: all this stuff, you know, it was just it was crazy. 167 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:50,800 Speaker 1: And I remember telling her. I was the first person 168 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:54,840 Speaker 1: I ever told, was my friend Vanessa, and I told her, well, 169 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: you know, I think something's going on because my dad does. 170 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,400 Speaker 2: This and he touched me and all this stuff. And 171 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,559 Speaker 2: she was like, oh my gosh, you have to tell someone. 172 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 2: And I'm like no, no, no, no no. I was 173 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 2: so scared. 174 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 1: I was like, no, is it He's gonna send me 175 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 1: to Mexico that I'm never going to see you, I'm 176 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 1: never going to see my mom, my brother and sister. 177 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 1: I was so scared, and I never said anything, and 178 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,199 Speaker 1: she promised me that she would never say anything, and 179 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,440 Speaker 1: I didn't say anything. I think I was ten years 180 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,720 Speaker 1: old when I told my aunt Rosie, who was also 181 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:26,080 Speaker 1: sexually molested by my dad. The reason I told Rosie 182 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:30,719 Speaker 1: was because Rosie had this thing with me, like she 183 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,199 Speaker 1: was always kind of like upset and I didn't understand. 184 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,599 Speaker 1: I was like, why is she always mad? And it 185 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 1: always felt like she was mad at me? And I 186 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 1: always just wanted to be cool and hang out with 187 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 1: her and her friends, you know. And she was four 188 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,560 Speaker 1: years older than me. So one day I just said, 189 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:46,640 Speaker 1: since I had a ready known, Okay, what's happening with 190 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,480 Speaker 1: my dad is wrong and it's weird because I talked 191 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 1: to Vanessa and Vanessa told me and she confirmed it 192 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: to me. My friend Vanessa, Remember, I just said it 193 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:56,520 Speaker 1: one day to her. We were in my grandpa's office 194 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,240 Speaker 1: and I told her straight out. I said, I know 195 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 1: why you hate my dad so much, because she would 196 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,200 Speaker 1: talk really bad about my dad and she's like, oh, 197 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,440 Speaker 1: your dad's here, your dad's here, and like she would 198 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,439 Speaker 1: be like you know, she would just make comments, just 199 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:11,480 Speaker 1: negative comments. And finally I just told her, I said, 200 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:14,040 Speaker 1: I know why you hate my dad so much. And 201 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 1: she said, oh, tell me why do I hate him? 202 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 1: Let's see what do you have to say? And I said, 203 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,199 Speaker 1: because he does to me. 204 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 2: What he did to you. 205 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 1: Where I got that from? I have no idea where 206 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,000 Speaker 1: I got the balls to even tell her that. And 207 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,679 Speaker 1: she just like cause her feet were up on my 208 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 1: grandpa's desk and then they just dropped and she looked 209 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:36,080 Speaker 1: at me. She like came up and she's like, how 210 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:36,559 Speaker 1: do you know that? 211 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 2: And I'm like, I don't know. 212 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:41,120 Speaker 1: I just know, I said, because that's why you hate 213 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:45,000 Speaker 1: him so much. And she just started crying and she's like, 214 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,440 Speaker 1: does it still happen? And I'm like no, And at 215 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,680 Speaker 1: that time I wasn't lying because it stopped. It had stopped, 216 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 1: and she started dating like his now wife, and it 217 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,959 Speaker 1: kind of just subsided a little bit, and I said, no, 218 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,480 Speaker 1: it's not anymore. She said, we got to tell mom. 219 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 1: We got to tell your mom. We got to tell 220 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,800 Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, I'm scared. I don't want to 221 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 1: tell her. I'm scared, Like I'm scared, Like what if 222 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 1: I always thought my mom was going to kill him 223 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,440 Speaker 1: and then he's going to be in jail. My AM's 224 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:13,679 Speaker 1: going to be in jail, then he's gonna be dead. 225 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 1: Like where am I going to be? 226 00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:15,360 Speaker 2: Where am I going to live? 227 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,840 Speaker 1: And they're all was just like Okay, fine, I won't 228 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 1: say anything, but if it ever happens again, you better 229 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,760 Speaker 1: tell me, and we have to tell. And I said, okay, 230 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 1: and I promised her and then started up again, and 231 00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:35,000 Speaker 1: I never said anything because I was so scared. Now, 232 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,720 Speaker 1: my whole point with sharing this, you guys, it's because 233 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:38,720 Speaker 1: for a long time. 234 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:41,119 Speaker 2: Of course, I was quiet. 235 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,480 Speaker 1: About it, since I was eight years old till I 236 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:46,839 Speaker 1: was twelve. It really did affect me in school. I 237 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:52,120 Speaker 1: could not concentrate in school, my grades. I was not 238 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:55,760 Speaker 1: held back, but I was in SRP. 239 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,680 Speaker 2: I don't remember. It was like a special. 240 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 1: Program because I was delayed in reading, in my math, 241 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,120 Speaker 1: and I had to be pulled out of class and 242 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,720 Speaker 1: it was like the special program of like five children 243 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 1: that would get like special just education one on one 244 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,760 Speaker 1: with the teacher because I was so delayed. And it 245 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,560 Speaker 1: was because of all this thing that I was caring. 246 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,599 Speaker 1: I was carrying this at such a young age, not 247 00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:19,280 Speaker 1: telling anybody about it, and I felt this shame of 248 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 1: like I felt dirty. I felt like, oh my goodness, 249 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 1: I'm dirty. That's all I can really explain it, you know, 250 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 1: That's all. That's the only way I can explain it. Yeah, 251 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,000 Speaker 1: Rosie knew, and yes, my friend Vanessa, who was no 252 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,000 Speaker 1: longer my friend at that time, because when I moved 253 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,400 Speaker 1: from Long Beach to Compton, I didn't see her anymore, 254 00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 1: you know, so we lost touch and I just didn't speak. 255 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,920 Speaker 1: I wasn't that close to Rosie like that to like 256 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,360 Speaker 1: tell her it to happen again. So I just really 257 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 1: kept it inside for a long time. Anyways, finally when 258 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 1: it came up. It was always something I thought I 259 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:53,760 Speaker 1: was never going to talk about. When it did come out, 260 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,440 Speaker 1: I was twelve years old. And the reason it came 261 00:12:56,480 --> 00:13:01,800 Speaker 1: out was because we were at church and Rosie was 262 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,920 Speaker 1: she was sixteen years old at this time, and there 263 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:10,960 Speaker 1: was a prophet praying for her, and she was very 264 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 1: depressed and she was going through her own stuff. She 265 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:16,640 Speaker 1: would always spend a lot of time in her room, 266 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 1: and of course I kind of knew. I'm like, okay, well, 267 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,719 Speaker 1: my dad has a lot to do with it. She 268 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 1: was just very depressed and she my grandma had a 269 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,520 Speaker 1: lot of issues with her. So when we went to 270 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:30,440 Speaker 1: church in this prophet prayed for her, that came up. 271 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,720 Speaker 1: It came up in like when he was praying, He's like, okay, 272 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:37,080 Speaker 1: the reason she has sadness over her because she has 273 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,640 Speaker 1: been sexually abused. And I remember just watching I was 274 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:44,120 Speaker 1: freaking twelve years old at church watching everything that was happening. 275 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 1: I'm like, Oh my gosh, here it is. 276 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:49,560 Speaker 2: God is bringing it out. That's really what I thought. 277 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 1: And I ran to the bathroom and I got on 278 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,360 Speaker 1: my knees and I was like, God, please, please, please 279 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,320 Speaker 1: don't let this come out. Please God, Like I don't 280 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:57,840 Speaker 1: know what I'm going to do. And I was just crying, 281 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:02,959 Speaker 1: crying and crying and silence. For two weeks after that day, 282 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,840 Speaker 1: no one talked about it, No one asked Rosie about 283 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 1: it until one day I was at the library in 284 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,800 Speaker 1: Long Beach. I would always ask my mom to go 285 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 1: to library, and it was kind of like our babysitter. 286 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,439 Speaker 1: We would just stay there and like hang out and 287 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,439 Speaker 1: do our homework and everything with my sister and my 288 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,760 Speaker 1: cousins and stuff. So one day we were at the library, 289 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,960 Speaker 1: it was a normal day. I thought, Okay, well maybe 290 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,480 Speaker 1: they're not going to talk about it anymore, maybe it's 291 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:26,440 Speaker 1: not going to come out. And my thea when of 292 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,640 Speaker 1: my theas picked me up and said, hey, why are 293 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:30,360 Speaker 1: you picking us up? 294 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 2: So early. 295 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 1: Mom said you were going to come at five, they're 296 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:34,680 Speaker 1: going to pick ups. I said, no, your mom said 297 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:36,840 Speaker 1: that we need to get you now. We need to 298 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,320 Speaker 1: pick you guys up. We got to go, and I 299 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 1: saw it in her face. 300 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,040 Speaker 2: I swear. I sat in the backseat and I said, 301 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:42,720 Speaker 2: oh my goodness. I felt it. 302 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 1: I've always been so intuitive since I was little, and 303 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,560 Speaker 1: I remember just saying, I said, oh my goodness, to 304 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:50,160 Speaker 1: day's a day. 305 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 2: I felt it. 306 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:53,320 Speaker 1: I saw it in my aunt's face. I said, something 307 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 1: is happening. And so we get to my uncle's office 308 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,560 Speaker 1: and my mom's pregnant from Jenica. This was in nineteen 309 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:09,120 Speaker 1: ninety seven. My mom's pregnant from Jenica and her mascara 310 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,880 Speaker 1: is just smeared. I walked in and I was like, 311 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,040 Speaker 1: I just started crying and I knew. I said, she knows, 312 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 1: and she said, come your baby to grab my hand, 313 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,520 Speaker 1: and she said, is there something you have to tell me? 314 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 1: And I was like, I just cried. I said yes, 315 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,840 Speaker 1: And she asked me, is it true? Does your dad? 316 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:31,160 Speaker 1: Has your dad done this to you? And I said yes, 317 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:35,880 Speaker 1: and she cried and she held me and it was 318 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:40,360 Speaker 1: just it was horrible. The cops came, Rosie was there, 319 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,560 Speaker 1: and Rosie just said, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I 320 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,320 Speaker 1: had to tell them. I just remember her looking at me, 321 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:45,440 Speaker 1: She's like, I'm so sorry. 322 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:46,200 Speaker 2: I had to. 323 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:49,040 Speaker 1: Like they asked me and I said, it's okay. But 324 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 1: from that day, I swear to you, I felt. Yes, 325 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,440 Speaker 1: I was sad and I was like, oh my goodness, 326 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,160 Speaker 1: like everyone knows and what are they going to think 327 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,480 Speaker 1: of me? And like I just felt really but I 328 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 1: felt like I just felt like I could breathe, and 329 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 1: I didn't know what was going to happen. I was like, 330 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,720 Speaker 1: what's gonna happen with my dad? And I was Weirdly enough, 331 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 1: I was scared for him. Because this is what a 332 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,920 Speaker 1: lot of people want to understand. I have seen comments 333 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 1: on social media like Chiki's how could you forgive your 334 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,840 Speaker 1: dad after what he did to you? The crazy thing 335 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 1: is my dad was a good dad. I know that 336 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,880 Speaker 1: sounds crazy, but he was. He was a type of 337 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,760 Speaker 1: dad that would sit me down and talk to me. 338 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,000 Speaker 1: He taught me how to wash clothes, he taught me 339 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,480 Speaker 1: how to fold it. Like he was like, if I 340 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,040 Speaker 1: got in trouble, he'd be one to just talk to 341 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 1: me and make me understand things, and he cooked for 342 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 1: us and he was It was just a different vibe 343 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 1: at my dad's house. During the day, he was a 344 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,080 Speaker 1: great dad. It was at night that things got weird. 345 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,600 Speaker 1: But I have pretty nice memories with my dad. He's 346 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:53,600 Speaker 1: the one that taught me about Mana, about Anna Gabriel, 347 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,680 Speaker 1: about Shakira, like a lot of music that I love 348 00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,240 Speaker 1: now is because of him. And it was just a 349 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,280 Speaker 1: weird situation because when it came out, I said, Wow, 350 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:05,639 Speaker 1: this means I'm never going to see my dad ever again. 351 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:09,199 Speaker 1: And I felt bad for my siblings, you know, especially 352 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,520 Speaker 1: for Jackie and Mikey, because they were so close to him. 353 00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 1: And it was this thing that I was always scared 354 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,760 Speaker 1: to go see him on the weekends, but we always 355 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,000 Speaker 1: did something fun, you know. I just wasn't sure if 356 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 1: that weekend at night something was going to happen, you know. 357 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:27,320 Speaker 1: But it was such a weird thing. And the weird 358 00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 1: thing is that this happened on September twenty third, nineteen 359 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:36,040 Speaker 1: ninety seven, when the truth came out, and we were 360 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,760 Speaker 1: supposed to stay quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, weren't supposed to 361 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:40,800 Speaker 1: say anything or alarm my dad because we were afraid 362 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 1: that he was going to go on the run. So 363 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 1: when we got the cops and they took my report, 364 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:49,680 Speaker 1: they took Rosie's report. We went to so many doctors' appointments. 365 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 1: They checked us to confirm everything, and it was it 366 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,159 Speaker 1: was crazy. They sent me to therapy and we did 367 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 1: family therapy all while my dad was just like, hey, 368 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:01,320 Speaker 1: I need to pick my kids, and my mom would 369 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 1: just make excuses, Oh well, we gotta go. We got 370 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,480 Speaker 1: to go out of town because the detectives had said, 371 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,440 Speaker 1: don't say anything. So we kept it quiet all the 372 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:11,760 Speaker 1: way until October thirty first on Halloween, because he was like, 373 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,840 Speaker 1: I'm supposed to have the kids this Halloween. Now you're 374 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,639 Speaker 1: playing dumb and this whole thing. And my mom was 375 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,440 Speaker 1: pregnant and she couldn't sleep. I remember waking up, you guys, 376 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:24,200 Speaker 1: and my mom was dude huge from Jenica. I'd wake 377 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:25,800 Speaker 1: up to get a glass of water. I'd hear her 378 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,240 Speaker 1: crying and she'd have a big knife in her hand, 379 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,720 Speaker 1: like ready, like sitting like from front of the door 380 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,240 Speaker 1: on this on this green couch that we had, and 381 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:34,879 Speaker 1: this was our house in Incompton, so it was a 382 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,399 Speaker 1: smaller home and I would wake up, and I'd hear 383 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 1: her crying and she'd just have a big knife in 384 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,520 Speaker 1: her hand, like he's coming, he's coming for us. I'm ready, 385 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,840 Speaker 1: I'm going to kill him, and like she was, she 386 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:47,280 Speaker 1: was kind of going crazy, and that was part of 387 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:48,399 Speaker 1: my fear of telling her. 388 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:49,400 Speaker 2: I know my mom. 389 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 1: I was like my mom, honestly, dios a se lascozas, 390 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,920 Speaker 1: because if she hadn't been pregnant from Jenica, I don't 391 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,320 Speaker 1: know what my mom would have done. I have no 392 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:02,840 Speaker 1: idea what she would have done. And it was so 393 00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:06,040 Speaker 1: it was such a difficult time. So finally, when October 394 00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:08,120 Speaker 1: thirty first came, which is Halloween of that same year, 395 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,720 Speaker 1: my mom knows how wan too. You're not going to 396 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,119 Speaker 1: see my kids anymore. You're never going to see my 397 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,440 Speaker 1: kids anymore because I know what you did to my 398 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,440 Speaker 1: sister and to my daughter. That's all she said. And 399 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,600 Speaker 1: on the other end, I was standing right in front 400 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,920 Speaker 1: of her when she was having this conversation. He said, 401 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:30,520 Speaker 1: mississitasso and then my mom said elastengo and he hung up. 402 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,160 Speaker 1: She calls the detective. This was like at seven pm 403 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:36,720 Speaker 1: at night. She calls the detective and says, hey, I'm sorry, 404 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 1: but I told him I couldn't anymore. You guys have 405 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,920 Speaker 1: to go find him. They said, okay, we'll handle it 406 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,440 Speaker 1: in the morning. There's too much going on. There's a 407 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,560 Speaker 1: lot of cops, said everything. They needed them out because 408 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 1: it was Halloween. So they go at nine o'clock in 409 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,280 Speaker 1: the morning the next day, on November first, and he 410 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:51,800 Speaker 1: was gone. 411 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:53,640 Speaker 2: Gone. My dad was gone. 412 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,520 Speaker 1: He disappeared. Everything was gone from the house he disappeared for. 413 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,200 Speaker 1: He was on the run for ten years. You guys, 414 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,960 Speaker 1: there's so much more to this story, and I feel 415 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,560 Speaker 1: like one day I want to really just dive deep 416 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:11,080 Speaker 1: into what happened. It was a lot because even going 417 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 1: through the trial ten years later when he was caught 418 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,320 Speaker 1: and having to relive everything for an entire year. I 419 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:21,400 Speaker 1: was on the stand talking about details, and they try 420 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,320 Speaker 1: to trick you when they do the cross examination and 421 00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:25,119 Speaker 1: they're like, okay, well you said on your report this, 422 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,800 Speaker 1: and I was like, no, I didn't say that. 423 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:27,359 Speaker 2: I said this. 424 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:31,840 Speaker 1: So it was crazy because here I am engaged. My uncle's, 425 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,480 Speaker 1: my grandpa, my mom, my stepdad, everyone's in this courtroom 426 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:38,840 Speaker 1: and I'm talking about my experience. I was so embarrassed 427 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:42,040 Speaker 1: of having to say the details of everything that I 428 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,040 Speaker 1: was like, even I had never really talked about it 429 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,520 Speaker 1: with my fiance at that time, and he was there 430 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:47,399 Speaker 1: listening to everything. 431 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,720 Speaker 2: So it was very hard. But the reason I. 432 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,359 Speaker 1: Wanted to talk about this topic and I wanted to 433 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,480 Speaker 1: share my story with you guys, is because this happens 434 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:58,840 Speaker 1: a lot, especially especially in our community, in our land community, 435 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,000 Speaker 1: and it is a tab and it is something that 436 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:05,280 Speaker 1: it's kind of like, Okay, they try to just brush 437 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:07,840 Speaker 1: it under the rug. And I am so grateful for 438 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:10,320 Speaker 1: my mom that she believed me. 439 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,159 Speaker 2: She didn't question me. 440 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,040 Speaker 1: As soon as I told her, she was like, Okay, 441 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,160 Speaker 1: this is what we're going to do. And she did 442 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,639 Speaker 1: everything that she could to try to catch him, to 443 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 1: put him in jail. And that's what I want the listeners, 444 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:25,159 Speaker 1: people that have gone through it, that haven't talked about it, 445 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,919 Speaker 1: people that are going through it. You have to tell someone, 446 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 1: you have to get help, you have to go to therapy, 447 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 1: you have to talk about it, because if you carry 448 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:37,320 Speaker 1: this in your heart in your mind for X amount 449 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,280 Speaker 1: of years, it's going to make you sick. It's going 450 00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:42,399 Speaker 1: to make you bitter. And when I mean sick, literally 451 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,400 Speaker 1: when we hold these things, these secrets in our bodies. 452 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:49,920 Speaker 1: They become illnesses, they become diseases, and it can even 453 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,920 Speaker 1: become cancer. I mean literally, I truly believe that, and 454 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,199 Speaker 1: I know that the moment I let it out. When 455 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,439 Speaker 1: I was twelve years old, I started doing better in school, 456 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,359 Speaker 1: I was able to focus. Things just started changing for me, 457 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,680 Speaker 1: and I felt like, oh I could breathe, I could 458 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,440 Speaker 1: live my life a little. 459 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,080 Speaker 2: Bit, you know. And for a long time. 460 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, well you know, from eight to twelve. It's not alone, 461 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,640 Speaker 1: but it was really affecting me. So mother is out 462 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,640 Speaker 1: there that if your child comes to you and tells 463 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 1: you this is happening, please please take them to the doctor. 464 00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:19,040 Speaker 2: Please go check. 465 00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:25,760 Speaker 1: Please don't just brush it under the rug. You have 466 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,679 Speaker 1: to listen to your child that is telling you something. 467 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,719 Speaker 1: And if you're going through it, and let's say your 468 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:35,159 Speaker 1: parents or don't believe you, speak to somebody. 469 00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:35,640 Speaker 2: It's okay. 470 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:39,840 Speaker 1: Sometimes people are so stuck in their ways that they 471 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:43,760 Speaker 1: don't want to believe something because it's too painful, because 472 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:48,359 Speaker 1: it's too much to confront. But go find someone, a 473 00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:50,840 Speaker 1: friend that's going to listen to you. Find a therapist, 474 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:52,920 Speaker 1: a counsel or a life coach for you to just 475 00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:56,359 Speaker 1: let this out in the open, and it's going to 476 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,160 Speaker 1: help you so much. 477 00:22:59,520 --> 00:22:59,920 Speaker 2: And forget. 478 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:05,600 Speaker 1: That's another thing forgiving the person the abuser, forgive them 479 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:09,479 Speaker 1: even if they don't ask for forgiveness. My father has 480 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:10,639 Speaker 1: never admitted to it. 481 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:12,080 Speaker 2: For a long time. 482 00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:16,800 Speaker 1: He called me a liar, and that hurt. Even before 483 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,840 Speaker 1: the truth came out, he would tell my mom I 484 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,879 Speaker 1: kiss sheik says, then mintirosa's been min thirosa and just 485 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,760 Speaker 1: to kind of plant that seed in her head so 486 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:26,760 Speaker 1: if it ever came out, she wouldn't believe me. But 487 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,720 Speaker 1: then God, my mom believed me, never questioned me, and 488 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,680 Speaker 1: she never allowed me to feel like a victim and 489 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:33,560 Speaker 1: said no, we're going to get your help and you're not. 490 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,760 Speaker 1: You are not what happened to you. And I've had 491 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:39,159 Speaker 1: that so like present in my mind and I'm so 492 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,680 Speaker 1: grateful for my mother for that. I don't know what 493 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:44,119 Speaker 1: I would have done if she didn't believe me, if 494 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:47,320 Speaker 1: she wouldn't have helped me, But she also taught me 495 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:52,000 Speaker 1: to forgive. And I know she blamed herself a lot, 496 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,280 Speaker 1: Like what could I have done differently as a mother 497 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,119 Speaker 1: for this not to happen, and I wish that I 498 00:23:56,160 --> 00:24:00,320 Speaker 1: could tell her it's not your fault. There's are just 499 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,440 Speaker 1: things that happen, you know. Those are just things that 500 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:05,400 Speaker 1: that happened. And now I see I'm like, okay, why 501 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:06,960 Speaker 1: did this happen to me? 502 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:08,320 Speaker 2: And I'm like, you know. 503 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,959 Speaker 1: Now I'm like, okay, what happened? Because now I can 504 00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:14,600 Speaker 1: use the platform God has given me, this microphone, this 505 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:17,880 Speaker 1: podcast to help other people and say, Okay, I'm gonna heal. 506 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,240 Speaker 1: I'm going to be an example to help inspire and 507 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,520 Speaker 1: empower other people and help them heal if they've gone 508 00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:26,320 Speaker 1: through this, because it is something that happens, and it happens. 509 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,160 Speaker 2: Way too often. And I forgive my dad. I forgive 510 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:30,359 Speaker 2: him because forgiveness. 511 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,120 Speaker 1: And I'm going to read you guys a quote later 512 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,920 Speaker 1: in regards to like today, My motivational quote is in 513 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,200 Speaker 1: regards to forgiveness and how forgiveness is for you and 514 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 1: not for the other person, because again that's another thing. Yes, 515 00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,760 Speaker 1: you can bring it out and then hold resentment towards 516 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,280 Speaker 1: your abuser, but that's not going to do you any good. 517 00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:52,119 Speaker 1: It's good to just release that person and leave them 518 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:59,840 Speaker 1: in God's hands. And also justoco. You know, in regard 519 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:04,680 Speaker 1: to to therapy. When I did start therapy because of 520 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:08,000 Speaker 1: the situation, and I've gone to therapy on and off 521 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:13,080 Speaker 1: my entire life. It's helped me a lot because as 522 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 1: you get older and as you evolve, you start realizing. 523 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,720 Speaker 1: For a long time, I thought, Okay, I'm over that, 524 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,359 Speaker 1: I'm over the sexual abuse. Okay, cool, like let's move on. 525 00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:26,560 Speaker 1: But then I started realizing that I have what you 526 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 1: call daddy issues where I was looking for a father 527 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,680 Speaker 1: figure or that love from my father, that I was 528 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:38,800 Speaker 1: missing in the wrong men, being in the wrong relationships 529 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,399 Speaker 1: for way too long because of that. So those are 530 00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:44,639 Speaker 1: things that even like me thinking oh, okay, I'm over it, no, no, no, like, 531 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 1: they start resurfacing these things. And that's why it's important 532 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 1: to speak to someone. And that's why I'm a firm 533 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,680 Speaker 1: believer and an advocate of therapy and counseling and really 534 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:59,840 Speaker 1: getting your feelings out there, because it makes a big difference. 535 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:01,960 Speaker 1: Even if it's even if yeah, you don't want to 536 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,680 Speaker 1: tell your family members, you don't want to tell anyone, 537 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:07,200 Speaker 1: go to therapy, guys, go to therapy, talk to them, 538 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:11,800 Speaker 1: let this out, find the help. Don't be afraid. I 539 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,280 Speaker 1: know it's scary, it's easier said than done. Yes, it 540 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:19,600 Speaker 1: might ruffle some feathers, Yes, it might cause some tension. 541 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:25,159 Speaker 1: But these people need to learn their lesson and they 542 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:28,119 Speaker 1: need to be brought to the light because if not, 543 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:29,879 Speaker 1: they're going to continue to do it. 544 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:33,400 Speaker 2: And that was my thing. I didn't want to testify. 545 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:35,320 Speaker 1: And the reason my dad is in jail is because 546 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:40,680 Speaker 1: of my testimony, because some stuff had happened with my aunt. 547 00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:43,600 Speaker 1: She was older when he got caught and stuff like that. 548 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:47,000 Speaker 1: So my testimony was the one that was that really 549 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,640 Speaker 1: put him in there, and that was hard. And still 550 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 1: it's hard for me to think, like, Wow, my dad 551 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:57,600 Speaker 1: is in jail because I testified against him, But I 552 00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:01,119 Speaker 1: feel like I did the right thing because it's not 553 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:06,440 Speaker 1: my fault that he decided to do that, and I 554 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:10,480 Speaker 1: don't want him to do it to anyone else. And 555 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:12,760 Speaker 1: if you were to ask me for forgiveness, I've already 556 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,560 Speaker 1: forgiven him. But if you were to come and tell me, 557 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,480 Speaker 1: or if I go visit him one day in jail 558 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,600 Speaker 1: and he says I'm sorry and admits to it, I'm like, 559 00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:24,160 Speaker 1: I forgive you. I do believe in change you guys. 560 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,720 Speaker 1: I believe that with the right help, people can change. 561 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,160 Speaker 1: I choose to believe that, and I want to think 562 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,000 Speaker 1: that he's changed. I want to think that one day 563 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,800 Speaker 1: he's going to say, you know what, I'm sorry and 564 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,080 Speaker 1: admit it to his family, because his family, I don't 565 00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:39,200 Speaker 1: think a lot of them till this day don't believe me. 566 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:41,359 Speaker 1: They thought it's something that my mom put in my 567 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:45,560 Speaker 1: head for many years, and it's not. I remember clearly 568 00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:50,560 Speaker 1: everything that happened, and it does weigh, and it did weigh, 569 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:52,920 Speaker 1: not really now, but it did weigh heavy on me 570 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:55,440 Speaker 1: that I'm like, my dad is in jail for thirty 571 00:27:55,480 --> 00:28:00,600 Speaker 1: one years, no chance of parole because I testified. But 572 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:04,440 Speaker 1: then I said, you know what, those are the consequences 573 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:08,199 Speaker 1: of his actions. And all I did was the correct thing, 574 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:12,520 Speaker 1: and I spoke, and I spoke my truth. And I'm 575 00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:16,359 Speaker 1: hoping that I can help many people. And I believe 576 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,800 Speaker 1: that God has put me in this position and has 577 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:22,280 Speaker 1: given me this platform to help other people. And believe me, 578 00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:26,440 Speaker 1: I know it happens a lot more often then we 579 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,320 Speaker 1: know than a lot of people like to admit, and 580 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,640 Speaker 1: we have to speak about it so that it can 581 00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:37,440 Speaker 1: lessen you guys, so that these things can happen less 582 00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:39,640 Speaker 1: and less and less the more we come out and 583 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:47,480 Speaker 1: we speak the truth because you know somos maas and 584 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:54,360 Speaker 1: we don't want that. So, guys, if someone comes and 585 00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:56,920 Speaker 1: tells you this is happening to me, please believe them. 586 00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,719 Speaker 1: Please do your best to hug them. Just give them 587 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:04,360 Speaker 1: a hug. If there's no words, hug them, let them 588 00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:08,120 Speaker 1: cry in your arms, let them release. The worst thing 589 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:09,960 Speaker 1: you could tell a person when they're telling you, hey, 590 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:12,600 Speaker 1: this is happening, I'm being molested, I'm being sexually abused, 591 00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:15,920 Speaker 1: is no, that's not true. It's the worst thing that 592 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,959 Speaker 1: you could tell a person. Just hug them, even if 593 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 1: there's no words. 594 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:20,200 Speaker 2: Believe them. 595 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:24,960 Speaker 1: Please and do your part. Obviously there's a whole process 596 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:28,040 Speaker 1: that needs to be done. That's my best advice that 597 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:30,320 Speaker 1: I can give you, guys, because my mom having the 598 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:34,120 Speaker 1: mother that I had and didn't even question me made 599 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:39,480 Speaker 1: the biggest difference ever ever. So thank you guys so 600 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,400 Speaker 1: much for listening. Like I said, I hope my story 601 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,680 Speaker 1: helps at least one person out there. Just know you're 602 00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,320 Speaker 1: not alone, and more than anything, know that it's not 603 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 1: your fault. We're going to link some resources in the 604 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:54,520 Speaker 1: show notes. Okay, so make sure you look at them. 605 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,640 Speaker 1: And here is today's motivational quote. What I told you, 606 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:04,160 Speaker 1: guys about earlier. Forgiveness isn't about the other person. It's 607 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:07,160 Speaker 1: about you. It's about your heart and your soul being 608 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:11,320 Speaker 1: at peace. It's about you healing and moving on. It's 609 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:18,120 Speaker 1: about you not letting the past hold you hostage anymore. Guys, 610 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:19,760 Speaker 1: Forgiveness is a powerful thing. 611 00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 2: I'm telling you. 612 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,400 Speaker 1: It is. I know sometimes it's easier said than done, 613 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:30,000 Speaker 1: but trust me, forgiveness gives you the wings to fly 614 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,600 Speaker 1: and chase your dreams once you're not carrying that heavy load. 615 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:41,240 Speaker 2: Again. Thank you, guys, LISO and this is moment. 616 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:52,600 Speaker 1: I love you, guys. This is a production of iHeartRadio 617 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:56,479 Speaker 1: and Mike wa podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at 618 00:30:56,600 --> 00:31:00,640 Speaker 1: mike Utura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h 619 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:04,760 Speaker 1: I q U I s. For more podcasts from iHeart, 620 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:09,000 Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen 621 00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:10,040 Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.