1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:05,400 Speaker 1: Wind down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast. 2 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:09,600 Speaker 2: Okay, we're back another adult education. 3 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 1: So there was an enlightenment on Dad Bod's Oh my gosh, 4 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: we're back. 5 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,799 Speaker 3: On Dad Bad Sidney, I told you this was going 6 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:21,960 Speaker 3: to come back. I just would would I say I didn't. 7 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 2: I didn't. 8 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:25,439 Speaker 3: Actually, Sidney just goes I knew it. This is where 9 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 3: this is where I say men are just a little 10 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 3: bit more sensitive because I didn't. 11 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:31,720 Speaker 2: I didn't mean it in a battle. I don't actually 12 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 2: think you have a. 13 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,919 Speaker 1: Dad bad I know I thought, but lessen. So this 14 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:38,839 Speaker 1: is so much. This is the difference between being sensitive 15 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:46,840 Speaker 1: and taking action. So I have a new structured program. Okay, okay, 16 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 1: monthly program. Okay, okay. I approached someone on on Instagram 17 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 1: and it's it's quite it's quite funny because he's his 18 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 1: Instagram name is dad Bod Steve. 19 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 2: Wait, you're approaching dad bad Steve. 20 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:03,160 Speaker 4: No. 21 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: I spoke to Dad board Steve because I liked the messages. 22 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:06,400 Speaker 2: GMed him. 23 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 3: You slid into someone else's DM and this time it 24 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 3: wasn't me. You slid into his Dad Bad Steve's Instagram. 25 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:16,559 Speaker 1: I liked his messaging on his on his channel because 26 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,840 Speaker 1: he based he bases it around like thirty five and 27 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:25,280 Speaker 1: up for exercises. Okay, And although I'm pretty coherent and 28 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 1: when it comes to exercises, I know what I'm doing. 29 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:28,679 Speaker 1: But I thought, you know what, I'll get somebody that 30 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 1: gives me structure. So Dad board Steve. All he needed 31 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,960 Speaker 1: to was text coaching to Dad board Steve. 32 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, superior striker follows Dad Bad Steve on Instagram 33 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,760 Speaker 3: three hundred and eleven thousand followers. 34 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 1: Wait, so we had we had the discussion yesterday and 35 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 1: I told him, you. 36 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:50,800 Speaker 2: Are kidding me right now? This is is this for real? 37 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm now on. I'm now I'm now on a 38 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,279 Speaker 1: p because we've been so busy the last few weeks 39 00:01:56,040 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 1: and I've lesson been stuck in the office right of stuff, 40 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 1: and I've lost the consistency. So it's not that he's 41 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 1: going to hold me accountable, but he's just given me, Okay, 42 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: here's your here's your program done. 43 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:10,080 Speaker 2: So what. 44 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:15,240 Speaker 3: I guess you just randomly went on Instagram and typed 45 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,120 Speaker 3: in Dad bads. 46 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:19,280 Speaker 1: No, he's a fitness guy. 47 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,360 Speaker 2: How did you find him? 48 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 1: Because there's loads of fitness I follow loads of fitness 49 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:26,280 Speaker 1: people and I listened to fitness stuff and he had 50 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 1: a message around the amount of protein and stuff that 51 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: you should be taking when you're slightly older. So I 52 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 1: then delved a little bit deeper into his page to 53 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:38,080 Speaker 1: see if he's messaging was actually really good and whether 54 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: it was interesting. And it was so. And I've seen 55 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,519 Speaker 1: the thing that said, okay, just text coaching for your 56 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,840 Speaker 1: your monthly custom exercise plan. 57 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 2: Does he know like you? 58 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,360 Speaker 1: I knew what I did and how it was? 59 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:55,080 Speaker 3: Okay, So like, what was your DM? Because I know 60 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 3: what your DM like coaching? 61 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:58,520 Speaker 1: I know text on coaching. 62 00:02:58,720 --> 00:02:59,959 Speaker 2: That's all you said, was coaching. 63 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 1: Well that's what it tells you, right, and then he. 64 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 2: Sends you the thing. 65 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,960 Speaker 3: But I actually had a conversation with them, and were 66 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,519 Speaker 3: you like my wife said, I have a dad bad. 67 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, I said to my had the discussion with my 68 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 1: wife and she and diirectly gave me a bit up 69 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:27,760 Speaker 1: the ass, which is good. That's what good wives do. 70 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 1: They empower the husbands in an indirect manner. 71 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 2: I literally did not. I think. 72 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 1: I said, just thought it was funny because his name 73 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 1: is Dad Bard Steve. 74 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:38,880 Speaker 2: But it's hilarious. 75 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 1: But he's good. So I did the first session last night. 76 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 3: His things that I helped men lose their dad bods 77 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 3: d M the word coaching to lose yours. 78 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 2: Then you DM coach. 79 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,120 Speaker 1: Hundreds of fitness mates and I end up text and 80 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:58,560 Speaker 1: DM and dad bod. 81 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 3: Steve literally like you're friends with David Beckham and those 82 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 3: people and fitness trainers. 83 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 1: And like David Beckham fitness train. 84 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,800 Speaker 3: To say, like you know, like you've worked with the 85 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:17,919 Speaker 3: most elite athletes and the most elite trainers and nutritionalists 86 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:21,880 Speaker 3: in this and you're dming Dad bad Steeve on social 87 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:24,479 Speaker 3: media because you read his thing saying I can I 88 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 3: help men lose their dad Bad's DM the word coaching. 89 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,360 Speaker 1: That's not what I read. But that's not a read 90 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,920 Speaker 1: fust it was. It was the divine timing of Dad 91 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 1: Board's message. It's actually quite funny, and some stuff on 92 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,720 Speaker 1: his page it's funny as well. Like some people say, 93 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 1: it's not a Dad Board, it's a father figure. Oh well, 94 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,440 Speaker 1: so I've got a plan, babe, all right, I have 95 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 1: got a plan in place. 96 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, Again, we could just circle back to the conversation. 97 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,240 Speaker 3: I love your body. I think you look great. I 98 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,039 Speaker 3: never actually know that said you had to I just 99 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:03,279 Speaker 3: love a dad bad. I love the caush. I don't 100 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 3: like the super shredded look in men personally. 101 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 1: I'll probably never have that look aade me. 102 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 3: It's just not my thing. I know some women like that, 103 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:13,360 Speaker 3: but I don't. I don't love that where it's they're 104 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 3: so addicted to in the gym. Does that make sense? 105 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:19,359 Speaker 2: It does? 106 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 3: But how do I say this? Because I don't want 107 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:27,720 Speaker 3: to come off bad either. I think there's when someone 108 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:31,520 Speaker 3: wants to be in the gym five hours a day. 109 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,080 Speaker 3: To me, that's just a little like I don't know 110 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 3: that it's a lot. It feels kind of like they 111 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,280 Speaker 3: just care about their appearance maybe or. 112 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:42,960 Speaker 1: Is that that's job? 113 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 3: Well, right, if it's their job, then then that makes 114 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 3: sense to me a one thousand percent. But if it's 115 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 3: not their job, is that too? What's too much? 116 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 1: I guess it depends if they've got a wife and 117 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 1: a family. They've got a wife in a family, then 118 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 1: it's probably a salefish isn't it to be in the 119 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:57,000 Speaker 1: gym that long? 120 00:05:57,960 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 2: Yeah? So I guess that's just like what is too much? 121 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,160 Speaker 3: I totally would understand if it's their job and and everything, 122 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,880 Speaker 3: but just to to be in there for that long 123 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:07,680 Speaker 3: when it's not their job. 124 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,920 Speaker 1: That's just good of a dad. Board Steve been fifty 125 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 1: minutes done. 126 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:17,840 Speaker 2: Okay, well I'm yeah that's awesome. Honey. 127 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you. 128 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,920 Speaker 2: What's how many? How many days? What's your program? 129 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:22,159 Speaker 4: Like? 130 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,279 Speaker 1: I've got this month? Sort it? 131 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, I love it. Well, speaking of you just 132 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:31,080 Speaker 3: said that you love beer, that. 133 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,240 Speaker 1: I like beer too much and say I love those. 134 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 2: Differences I love. 135 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, would but see that's the thing too, like 136 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 3: you do things in moderation, so you're not going to 137 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 3: not have. 138 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:56,720 Speaker 2: What's what do you mean talk about that? 139 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 1: Because I think there was a few in my life 140 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:04,840 Speaker 1: that I had when I had an unhealthy relationship with. 141 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 2: Would you like to talk more about that? 142 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:09,160 Speaker 1: I think when there's certain things happen in your life 143 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 1: and you end up and it's not because because of 144 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 1: divorce or because of certain incidents, but I think a 145 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,600 Speaker 1: lot of it is loneliness. You know, like when you 146 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 1: were divorced, you got into you get into habit where 147 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,480 Speaker 1: it's fine just to have a glass of wine ever 148 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 1: really and it becomes an unhealthy habit. It's not exactly 149 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:32,280 Speaker 1: totally unhealthy because you're not over drinking or over consuming, 150 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 1: but you hadn't have a a healthy relationship and a 151 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 1: lot of it was lonely. It was loneliness because alcohol 152 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 1: heard something a few months a when it was really 153 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 1: it was really powerful, and it was alcohol wants you 154 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 1: to be lonely. 155 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 2: Oh wow. 156 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 1: And it's so true because if you think about it, eventure, 157 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:54,880 Speaker 1: if you're drinking too much, then you end up having argument, 158 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:58,600 Speaker 1: you end up ruining relationships, you end up sneaking off 159 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 1: the drink on your own. It wants it wants you 160 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: to be on your own. And that was something that 161 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 1: is really It resonated with me like probably like a 162 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:07,960 Speaker 1: few months ago, a couple of months ago ahead and 163 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:08,880 Speaker 1: I was like, wow. 164 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 3: It's kind of true and I won't won't bring up, 165 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:13,240 Speaker 3: but you know. 166 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 1: It's really true. Like when you talk about the cabin. 167 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 3: In the woods and yeah, the cabin the woods are 168 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,680 Speaker 3: I just want to go to my office and be alone. 169 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: You know. It's yeah. And there's also the fact that 170 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 1: during and listen, everybody has different phases in their life. 171 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 1: But I didn't really have anyone to hold me accountable, 172 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 1: Like I lived on my own. I was seen Troy 173 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 1: limited the amounts of times, so so many nights I 174 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,360 Speaker 1: was on my own and you think, oh, it's okay 175 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,600 Speaker 1: just to have another one. It's okay just to have 176 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:44,120 Speaker 1: another one, but no one's there to be like no, 177 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,439 Speaker 1: not tonight because that's two or three nights in a row. 178 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:51,679 Speaker 1: Or where's you're good at that? What do you mean 179 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,719 Speaker 1: you'd be like okay, well, because you know what, I 180 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:58,000 Speaker 1: try and stick to be a wise the two and 181 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 1: two method, which what some weeks, but there'll be things 182 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 1: that I'm like, okay, maybe it's maybe had a couple 183 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,959 Speaker 1: of bios on a Thursday, and then it's a couple 184 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 1: on a Friday, and then I have to get one 185 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,880 Speaker 1: on a Saturday. Like babe, that's three three nights in 186 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 1: a row. 187 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,959 Speaker 2: You also told me to hold you accountable, and I 188 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:18,959 Speaker 2: appreciate it. 189 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,599 Speaker 3: So when someone says hold me accountable, I'm going to 190 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:26,160 Speaker 3: hold the person accountable and knowing that it is something 191 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:31,240 Speaker 3: that you want for not only your self, but I 192 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,560 Speaker 3: mean just for your health too, because now that we've 193 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:37,320 Speaker 3: done more research into alcohol and the effects of alcohol, 194 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 3: but with holding accountability, it's like, I don't I think 195 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,080 Speaker 3: it's hard to fall like you said, like it is 196 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:46,080 Speaker 3: a lonely thing or yeah I did. I would listen 197 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 3: or I would drink, you know, probably out of a 198 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 3: lonely thing too, and just it was my I think 199 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,079 Speaker 3: for women, it became a this is your mom juice. 200 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,439 Speaker 3: I mean I almost call this podcast mom juice because 201 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,960 Speaker 3: that's how I was, like, oh, just and mom juice. 202 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,080 Speaker 3: And you know, it's it's okay to have the glass 203 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,280 Speaker 3: of wine at the end of the day. But I 204 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:09,840 Speaker 3: became so reliant on having a glass every single day 205 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 3: that it became a habit. And I don't I've never 206 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:14,720 Speaker 3: had a habit forming thing. I used to be able 207 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:16,840 Speaker 3: to smoke with cigarettes and then put them down and 208 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,240 Speaker 3: never have them again. But when I truly had to 209 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,760 Speaker 3: break the habit of drinking every single night, and it 210 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:26,679 Speaker 3: was Roman that essentially stopped that habit because I didn't 211 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,040 Speaker 3: drink when obviously when I was pregnant. So and then 212 00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:32,000 Speaker 3: learning more stuff talking to people like doctor Aim and 213 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,960 Speaker 3: having you know, people like that on the show and 214 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 3: just kind of hearing the certain effects of alcohol and 215 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 3: what it can do. And then you know, I think too, 216 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 3: for you you grew up in a society or I 217 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:47,359 Speaker 3: write like people drink Scottish people drink. 218 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 1: Irish, yeah, a lot. 219 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,720 Speaker 3: And so when I looked in, you know, at our 220 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:55,079 Speaker 3: relationship with your drinking, it was something where I was like, well, 221 00:10:55,120 --> 00:11:00,079 Speaker 3: that's just his culture. But then you know realize, and 222 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 3: I think you also heard people say close to you like, hey, 223 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:06,240 Speaker 3: you're kind of drinking a lot. That that made you 224 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:07,960 Speaker 3: maybe then take a look at it? 225 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. 226 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,559 Speaker 3: And then it made me go, Okay, maybe I can 227 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 3: then maybe step in two and say, hey, how did 228 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,240 Speaker 3: that make you feel when this person said that, Yeah, 229 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:19,280 Speaker 3: do you want to address it? 230 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:20,200 Speaker 2: Do you want to look at it? 231 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,280 Speaker 1: Which I have done. 232 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think I'm proud of you for that too, 233 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,920 Speaker 3: because that's that's breaking like a true cultural thing too. 234 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's I think it's also choosing the right moments 235 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 1: to drink. I think they realize when I'm emotional because 236 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 1: I like to have a couple of beers because it 237 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,040 Speaker 1: relaxes my mide. So there's two reasons why I like 238 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:41,319 Speaker 1: to do it. I have a couple of beers to 239 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:45,120 Speaker 1: relax and unwind, which is not unhealthy, a couple not 240 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:50,280 Speaker 1: too unhealthy. But then there's times where it helps me. 241 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,720 Speaker 1: It helps me be creative in my office if I 242 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:54,800 Speaker 1: sit and have a well I'm doing like app stuff. 243 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:58,839 Speaker 1: It helps me be creative because you almost lose the 244 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 1: fear of not the fear of failure, but it takes 245 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,080 Speaker 1: it takes some of the feet away for you to 246 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,640 Speaker 1: then be more creative and you're thinking again. There's a 247 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:11,679 Speaker 1: balance to that and so this part of me, okay, 248 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:15,160 Speaker 1: I'm going to have to be creative and I'll use 249 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,280 Speaker 1: a biro too to kind of open up my thinking 250 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 1: and lose diminish my feels. 251 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:19,920 Speaker 2: And what's a while. 252 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 3: A lot of entertainers drink before their shows. I mean 253 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,360 Speaker 3: that was me and the band guys would all have 254 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:26,680 Speaker 3: drinks before the show because it loosens you up. It's 255 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,400 Speaker 3: sometimes some of my best auditions are when I have 256 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,040 Speaker 3: a little glass of wine before because I lose that 257 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 3: fear or that I get to I feel more playful, 258 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,880 Speaker 3: you know, and it helps me be more creative. But 259 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:42,040 Speaker 3: on that note, we have Christy Osborne coming in the show. 260 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:45,040 Speaker 3: She's got a book coming out called Love Life Sober. 261 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:46,199 Speaker 3: Let's get her on. 262 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,840 Speaker 5: Hey girl, Hi, how are you. 263 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,080 Speaker 2: We're good. We're just you know, chatting all things alcohol 264 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:11,079 Speaker 2: right before this. So amazing we are We're glad to 265 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:11,560 Speaker 2: have you on. 266 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 3: We were just saying how we have we have both 267 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:21,439 Speaker 3: formed new relationships with alcohol. My new relationship came post 268 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:26,480 Speaker 3: post baby and Alan you know, he's Scottish, he comes 269 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:30,839 Speaker 3: from a very cultural background of drinking and and you 270 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,400 Speaker 3: know he's I would say, what in the last year 271 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:36,679 Speaker 3: or ten months, you've you've kind of readdressed a new 272 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,520 Speaker 3: relationship with alcohol. Yeah, And so when we saw you 273 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,280 Speaker 3: on the rundown, I was like, oh, this is going 274 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,679 Speaker 3: to be interesting because we've we've got some you know, 275 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 3: someone on here that has some some knowledge and you're 276 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,080 Speaker 3: going to share your story. 277 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 2: So thanks for coming on. 278 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, thanks for having me. And I get the cultural thing. 279 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,200 Speaker 4: I've been living in the UK for the last sixteen years, 280 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:58,360 Speaker 4: so it's very similar over here in England to Scotland. 281 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:03,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, Okay, So, how how long have you 282 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,319 Speaker 3: been sober for? 283 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 5: Since twenty twenty so four years? 284 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:09,760 Speaker 3: Forgive me what can you share your story to sobriety 285 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:10,719 Speaker 3: and why you chose that. 286 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,880 Speaker 4: I started drinking like any kind of like normal teenager, 287 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:19,080 Speaker 4: like just tried it, thought it was disgusting, then went 288 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,800 Speaker 4: to college, was in a sorority, but never really wanted 289 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:23,960 Speaker 4: to get to out of control, and so I was 290 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,600 Speaker 4: like the girlfriend that always held your ponytail back and 291 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:31,160 Speaker 4: all that. But then I saw upticks in my drinking 292 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,880 Speaker 4: kind of as I got older, moved to the UK, 293 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:37,480 Speaker 4: I went to law school. It became this this thing 294 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,320 Speaker 4: so that I could rest and kind of get a 295 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:40,200 Speaker 4: reward after. 296 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:41,720 Speaker 5: A long day of classes and all that. 297 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,760 Speaker 4: Then I became a mom, and I was alone in 298 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:48,200 Speaker 4: a country with no friends and no family, and so 299 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,680 Speaker 4: it was the thing that you did with your kind 300 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,480 Speaker 4: of NCT group over here, you're like prenatal group. 301 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,560 Speaker 5: We would go to the parks and we would drink rose. 302 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,960 Speaker 4: And it just became this like like the whole mommy 303 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,760 Speaker 4: wine culture thing, the thing that I did to relax. 304 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:09,880 Speaker 4: I had pretty bad postpartum after my son and didn't 305 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:12,000 Speaker 4: know it at the time, but was just really really 306 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 4: really sad and using the wine as a break at 307 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:17,000 Speaker 4: the end of the day. I remember we got a 308 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,160 Speaker 4: baby nurse at one point, and the whole point, right 309 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 4: was for her to get there so I could sleep, 310 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,880 Speaker 4: and I just literally went in my room and had 311 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 4: a massive glass of red wine. 312 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,080 Speaker 5: And then in twenty eighteen. 313 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 4: My own mom passed away and that's when I started 314 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 4: drinking to cope with like some really serious grief, and 315 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:39,120 Speaker 4: so that looked like drinking at home but also out 316 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,240 Speaker 4: on the town in London with my girlfriends to all 317 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:43,040 Speaker 4: hours of the night. 318 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,920 Speaker 5: And it just got. 319 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 4: To the point where I was really, really sad. I 320 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,680 Speaker 4: knew I wasn't in a place where I wanted to 321 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:54,000 Speaker 4: hang out with my kiddos. And these were two people 322 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:57,400 Speaker 4: that I prayed for desperately, that I was so grateful 323 00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:00,920 Speaker 4: to have, and I just I preferred having wine or 324 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:04,560 Speaker 4: I prefer drinking to being with them. And so it 325 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:08,040 Speaker 4: was two years literally to the day of my mom passing, 326 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,240 Speaker 4: and I just literally looked in the mirror and I 327 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:14,680 Speaker 4: was like, Jesus, I can't do this anymore. I was exhausted, 328 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,240 Speaker 4: I was fighting with my husband all the time, and 329 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:19,720 Speaker 4: I just wasn't like being the woman that I wanted 330 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,920 Speaker 4: to be. It was, but there was like no rock 331 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:22,960 Speaker 4: bottom moment. 332 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:23,080 Speaker 1: You know. 333 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 4: There wasn't like this duy, There wasn't this massive thing 334 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 4: that happened. It was just like a slow eroding of 335 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:33,600 Speaker 4: the person that I wanted to be, my values, like 336 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 4: my character, and so I just went on this amazing 337 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,440 Speaker 4: journey of learning everything I could about alcohol and starting 338 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 4: to feel so much better in the promise in the process, 339 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,080 Speaker 4: and so that's kind of yeah, I'd try to do 340 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,040 Speaker 4: that really fast, But there's a lot there. 341 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,120 Speaker 1: Did you try and cut down and provide more balance 342 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 1: with it, or did you just go from your drinking 343 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,000 Speaker 1: habits to completely sober? 344 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:03,840 Speaker 4: So I definitely the a few dry januaries, so October 345 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,960 Speaker 4: is all of those things. But when I was doing that, 346 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:09,280 Speaker 4: it was very much a let me take off thirty 347 00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:12,280 Speaker 4: days to prove to myself that I don't have a problem, 348 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,800 Speaker 4: because everywhere I looked, my drinking looked the same as 349 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:19,359 Speaker 4: all the other moms around me, and so I just thought, 350 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,160 Speaker 4: if I can take thirty days off and make it 351 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:25,160 Speaker 4: or thirty one January, then I'm okay, there's something wrong 352 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,639 Speaker 4: with me. I don't have a problem. I can continue 353 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,679 Speaker 4: to like drink like all these other gals around me. 354 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,040 Speaker 3: Well, I think that's an interesting point too, because when 355 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:40,240 Speaker 3: I've spoken to people that help with mental health and 356 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:45,240 Speaker 3: you know the things that are happening around alcohol, a 357 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,440 Speaker 3: lot of people will say, well, I don't drink during 358 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,960 Speaker 3: the week I just drink on the weekends. But the 359 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,400 Speaker 3: problem is is the binge drinking, so you are drinking 360 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:56,240 Speaker 3: so much on the weekends that it is it's almost 361 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,320 Speaker 3: you're gonna drink more than if you just had a 362 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,600 Speaker 3: glass during the week each each day, like you there, 363 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,600 Speaker 3: that's that's now the epidemic is what they're saying with 364 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,600 Speaker 3: with alcohol abuse is the binge drinking. When you do drink, 365 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:11,119 Speaker 3: you're drinking so much, and it's like, that's that's where 366 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,359 Speaker 3: the problem comes in. 367 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:16,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, one hundred percent. And the problem with the whole 368 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,159 Speaker 4: I'm not drinking during the week thing, right, is that 369 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,720 Speaker 4: you're just constantly making these rules for yourself that then 370 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:26,280 Speaker 4: you tend to end up breaking because alcohol is really 371 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,080 Speaker 4: really addictive, right, and this is why I feel like 372 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:32,640 Speaker 4: it gets into this the insidious for women, and then 373 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:35,639 Speaker 4: we can't hold up to these rules that we're making 374 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,639 Speaker 4: for ourselves. We can't do the you know, wine and 375 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,960 Speaker 4: then water on a night out or eat first, and 376 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,080 Speaker 4: all these rules that you're making for yourself, and so 377 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:46,000 Speaker 4: then you end up feeling like this failure and then 378 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,960 Speaker 4: the goalposts are always moving, right, It's like all of 379 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,959 Speaker 4: a sudden, Thursday is the new weekend or Wednesday or whatever. 380 00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:56,800 Speaker 4: So strange this day and for that day, yes exactly. 381 00:18:57,119 --> 00:19:04,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, still providing excuses, don't you. Yeah, and you 382 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,879 Speaker 1: start finding ways to okay, well I can. I'm okay 383 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,960 Speaker 1: to do it here because I did this here, or 384 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,720 Speaker 1: I spent four days not doing it, so now I 385 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,000 Speaker 1: can do it for three days. It's almost like when 386 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:18,880 Speaker 1: you're younger and you have mates who have jobs, whether 387 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,160 Speaker 1: they're so miserable in their jobs that they just live 388 00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:24,639 Speaker 1: for the weekends. So Friday comes, they walk out of 389 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,720 Speaker 1: their office and they go crazy for three days. It's 390 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,200 Speaker 1: almost what it's like, well, okay, i've spent the last 391 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:34,639 Speaker 1: five days not having ending. I can just go. I 392 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:37,119 Speaker 1: used to do that when I played. I would not 393 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,280 Speaker 1: drink from months and months and months because I was 394 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,320 Speaker 1: a professional. And then we'd have like ten days off 395 00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:45,639 Speaker 1: and the team would go on a night out and 396 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,320 Speaker 1: I'd only drink once, but that one night would be 397 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,280 Speaker 1: just absolute craziness, and the whole team would be like 398 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,040 Speaker 1: that because you don't drink much when you play, so 399 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,480 Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, you've waited, you've waited, you've waited, and 400 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,959 Speaker 1: now you binge and all of a sudden you're love. 401 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,199 Speaker 1: I was like what the hell are you doing to me? 402 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,560 Speaker 1: You're not done this for months and now you're now 403 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:08,199 Speaker 1: you're killing me and your and your book. There's a 404 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:12,240 Speaker 1: reference of a no failed plan mm hmm, and you 405 00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:15,560 Speaker 1: offer a forty day alcohol fast. 406 00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:16,399 Speaker 2: Yeah. 407 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,119 Speaker 1: Can I ask why why? The forty days is a 408 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:24,320 Speaker 1: science behind that, based on physiological systems and no. 409 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:28,679 Speaker 4: So my the book Mary's basically scripture, So the Bible 410 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:33,399 Speaker 4: with neuroscience and my story because when I was doing 411 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,840 Speaker 4: all of my research and then I started coaching gals, 412 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,359 Speaker 4: I couldn't find something that had that had both, and 413 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,480 Speaker 4: so the forty days is a reference to. 414 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,359 Speaker 5: Forty the Bible. Yeah. 415 00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:46,480 Speaker 4: So, but the no fail part is what I love 416 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:50,320 Speaker 4: talking about because the thing is is that I, as 417 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:53,480 Speaker 4: we were talking about, with all the rules, this is 418 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:58,080 Speaker 4: about learning and growing in curiosity and grace and not 419 00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 4: not failing. And so much much of the sober Verse 420 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:05,399 Speaker 4: is about counting days and then if you get to 421 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,720 Speaker 4: you know, day whatever they ten, let's say, and on 422 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,439 Speaker 4: day eleven you have a drink, you have to go 423 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 4: back to day one. And that's just so extremely defeating. 424 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:18,640 Speaker 4: And so this is just about for forty days, look 425 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:22,280 Speaker 4: at your relationship with alcohol, get curious, figure out why 426 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,400 Speaker 4: you're drinking in the first place, and figure out if 427 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:29,359 Speaker 4: alcohol is actually doing those things. And so it doesn't 428 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,840 Speaker 4: matter if you actually have a drink as long as 429 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,200 Speaker 4: you learn from it. And I have lots of exercises 430 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:38,080 Speaker 4: in the book of if you have a drink, did 431 00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:41,480 Speaker 4: it actually do that thing? If let's say relaxation, for example, 432 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:45,040 Speaker 4: did it actually relax you beyond the thirty minutes? What 433 00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,200 Speaker 4: did you feel like the next day? Did you really 434 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,840 Speaker 4: stick to your plan of one? And so it's really 435 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:54,920 Speaker 4: about getting curious about the why behind your drinking because 436 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 4: we have so many subconscious beliefs, and most of them 437 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:02,199 Speaker 4: are positive, even though we've had you know, negative experiences 438 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:05,920 Speaker 4: with alcohol, that alcohol benefits us in a number of ways. 439 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 4: So it's getting really curious about is that true or not. 440 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,159 Speaker 4: So I don't even you know, I don't care if 441 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:16,000 Speaker 4: you have a few drinks along the way, like obviously 442 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:19,359 Speaker 4: you'll feel better and you'll have more positive benefits if 443 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,000 Speaker 4: you don't. But this is about grace and compassion and 444 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:25,639 Speaker 4: learning and figuring out if your life is better without 445 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,199 Speaker 4: alcohol or even just you know, on a break. 446 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,800 Speaker 3: I think this the thing that can be challenging because 447 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 3: I have definitely I mean, I really drink now, I 448 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:38,639 Speaker 3: really do. 449 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:39,080 Speaker 2: I don't. 450 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,440 Speaker 3: I mean, gosh, like we talked about earlier in the show, 451 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:44,919 Speaker 3: when I was divorced, I would have a glass of 452 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:46,280 Speaker 3: wine every night, and it was to what you said, 453 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,159 Speaker 3: it was the mama, mama, mama time and this was 454 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,399 Speaker 3: my you know, I couldn't wait to pour that glass 455 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:52,840 Speaker 3: of wine when I put the kids to bed, to 456 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,320 Speaker 3: just like relax and you know, have peace. And then 457 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,399 Speaker 3: when we started dating, it was something fun that we 458 00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:02,080 Speaker 3: did together. And then it was after having our child 459 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 3: that I was just like, I really want to form 460 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,560 Speaker 3: a new relationship with alcohol because I actually don't like 461 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:11,520 Speaker 3: the way it makes me feel. I don't sleep good. 462 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:15,080 Speaker 3: You know, I've heard all the negative benefits of it. 463 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,199 Speaker 3: There are times when I do enjoy it, you know, 464 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 3: when I have like tonight, I've got a yugur night 465 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,800 Speaker 3: with my girls. But there are also I feel like 466 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,000 Speaker 3: there's this and I want to say pressure, and I 467 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:27,159 Speaker 3: also don't want and I'm gonna give give an example 468 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,320 Speaker 3: and I'm not saying you do this at all. But 469 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,000 Speaker 3: the other night, when we had our friends come over, 470 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:34,639 Speaker 3: I said, you know, I'm not going to drink tonight 471 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,720 Speaker 3: because I actually just didn't want to, but I felt 472 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,959 Speaker 3: the pressure of having to drink because we were going 473 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:40,600 Speaker 3: to have a game night with our friends and this 474 00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,040 Speaker 3: is what Everyone's going to have a drink And if 475 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,040 Speaker 3: I'm the only one not drinking, then that must mean 476 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:48,760 Speaker 3: that I'm not fun. Right by no means no, no, I'm 477 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 3: not putting this on you at all. This is what 478 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,359 Speaker 3: I make up about myself that people are going to 479 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:55,639 Speaker 3: think that I must not be the fun one, nor 480 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,399 Speaker 3: am I going to have fun if everyone is not drinking. 481 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,879 Speaker 3: And I did say I'm not going to He's like, 482 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,359 Speaker 3: you're not gonna and you said like, well you're not gonna. 483 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,320 Speaker 3: You don't You're not gonna drink, And I'm like no, 484 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,920 Speaker 3: and you didn't press it. But there was a piece 485 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,880 Speaker 3: of me that was like, does he think that I'm 486 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:12,760 Speaker 3: not fun now because I don't want to have a 487 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:14,520 Speaker 3: glass of wine because I want to. 488 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:16,200 Speaker 2: I want it to almost. 489 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:20,360 Speaker 3: Be okay and and more normal that you don't have 490 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,560 Speaker 3: to have a drink when you're having parties with your friends, 491 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,760 Speaker 3: that you can just you know, like I just I 492 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,800 Speaker 3: had my little hydro drug and who they didn't know 493 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,159 Speaker 3: what was in it, but I knew it was just 494 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,240 Speaker 3: water with a little bit of lemon, you know, because 495 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:33,359 Speaker 3: I actually just didn't want to drink. I wanted to 496 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,879 Speaker 3: just because because I just know all the negatives that 497 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:40,399 Speaker 3: I'm now feeling in my forties with alcohol, and I'm like, 498 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,399 Speaker 3: I don't even I don't want to have a sleepless, 499 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:46,679 Speaker 3: sweaty night of not feeling good or like having that anxiety, 500 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,159 Speaker 3: Like I just don't want to feel that, you know, 501 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,720 Speaker 3: I like it for the thirty minutes of like that 502 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,959 Speaker 3: calmingness or that calm feeling, but then afterwards, I just 503 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,440 Speaker 3: I don't like how I feel in the middle of 504 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:57,960 Speaker 3: the night or when I wake up in the morning, 505 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:01,199 Speaker 3: or how my body feels, and so I just I 506 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,680 Speaker 3: want it to be And you probably are, like when 507 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:07,480 Speaker 3: you open a beer, you might feel my judgment of 508 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:08,679 Speaker 3: oh here's he's drinking. 509 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:10,280 Speaker 2: I don't do you feel that or is that your 510 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:11,520 Speaker 2: your in ourself? 511 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 1: I probably used to not so much now because I've 512 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:20,800 Speaker 1: I've controlled it and balanced it out a lot more. 513 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 1: But I think you do. I think when when it's 514 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,199 Speaker 1: been a question that's been raised, like going back to 515 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,400 Speaker 1: you one where you were, I would raise that because 516 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:33,000 Speaker 1: I know that you enjoy having a glass. Very rarely 517 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,240 Speaker 1: we have more than than one glass. So that's why 518 00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:38,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, you're not drinking. That's strange, Okay, because 519 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:43,440 Speaker 1: I know you enjoy it. But yeah, there'll be times 520 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,119 Speaker 1: on like maybe so I like to I like to 521 00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,560 Speaker 1: grab it if I'm I grill a lot, like we 522 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,800 Speaker 1: I grill like five times a week, probably four times 523 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,800 Speaker 1: a week, so on like a Thursday or a Friday 524 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,080 Speaker 1: or a satur when I'm grilling. I like to have 525 00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 1: a beer when I'm grilling, And there's sometimes I'll go 526 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:04,440 Speaker 1: into the fridge and I can feel the eye following 527 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,280 Speaker 1: me all the way the fridge, all the way to 528 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:06,800 Speaker 1: the group. 529 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:13,040 Speaker 2: I love it. I you know, I also just don't like. 530 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,359 Speaker 3: I also know your habit that you're also trying to break, 531 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,359 Speaker 3: you know. So it's like that hard thing where I 532 00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:19,960 Speaker 3: want him to enjoy his thing, but also I know 533 00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:22,359 Speaker 3: the negative side effects. I know he's working to clean 534 00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:23,760 Speaker 3: his liver right now. I know you're you know what 535 00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:25,959 Speaker 3: I mean, Like, we're working so hard to clean our 536 00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,520 Speaker 3: clear our systems of the the damage that we've put 537 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,920 Speaker 3: on it, whether it being stress or the food we've 538 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,280 Speaker 3: eaten or the things that we've consumed alcohol wise. 539 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:38,119 Speaker 4: So yeah, the good news is that a lot of 540 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:41,640 Speaker 4: those non alcoholic beers taste like the quote quote real thing. 541 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,400 Speaker 4: My husband's gotten really into the non alcoholic beers. 542 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:46,879 Speaker 3: Well, even said like we've been even drinking a lot 543 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,679 Speaker 3: of Stevia because you just like the fizz of like 544 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:49,679 Speaker 3: the carbonation. 545 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,679 Speaker 1: Some things I would like. I just love having the refreshing, 546 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:56,600 Speaker 1: culminated drink. So the some things like I'm happy just 547 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,720 Speaker 1: gonna like and might be a fridge those like the 548 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:02,680 Speaker 1: Stavia Cola's called some things that going on, I don't 549 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:06,320 Speaker 1: want to be. I just want to sparkling combinated refresh 550 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:09,760 Speaker 1: and drink. So maybe it's a maybe it's my relationship 551 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:11,240 Speaker 1: with colbination that's a problem. 552 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:13,080 Speaker 2: I don't know. 553 00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:17,440 Speaker 4: I'm like really into my sparkling water. But you bring 554 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,160 Speaker 4: up a really good point. And so the fun part 555 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 4: of it too. I talk a lot about this in 556 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:25,040 Speaker 4: the book of Giving alcohol jobs, and that was my 557 00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:28,040 Speaker 4: hardest to break as well, was alcohol is fun. It 558 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:31,239 Speaker 4: makes me fun, it brings the fun, and so it 559 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,120 Speaker 4: was just doing a lot of testing of that out. 560 00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:37,320 Speaker 4: Is that true can I have fun without alcohol? And 561 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,640 Speaker 4: it took some time and doing different things, and then 562 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,280 Speaker 4: to the grilling part of it, right, it's the job 563 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:46,240 Speaker 4: of almost the ritual of having the thing at the 564 00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:48,320 Speaker 4: end of the day of grilling for the family. 565 00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:49,680 Speaker 5: And having that glass. 566 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,919 Speaker 4: And the good news is is that we're in a 567 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:55,240 Speaker 4: time now where there's so many options with different mocktails 568 00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:58,480 Speaker 4: and stuff like that. So it's really about just asking 569 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,600 Speaker 4: what is the job that I'm giving out alcohol and 570 00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:04,800 Speaker 4: is it actually accomplishing that job or doing the opposite, 571 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,399 Speaker 4: which I know if if there are listeners that like 572 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,640 Speaker 4: are into their their drinking, that sounds like a totally 573 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,480 Speaker 4: crazy thing, But it's just about open, being open and 574 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,480 Speaker 4: curious with all of it. 575 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:17,720 Speaker 2: M hmm yeah. 576 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,720 Speaker 3: And and then you know in groups such settings, people 577 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,720 Speaker 3: are like, you know, like even tonight girls knife, I 578 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:25,400 Speaker 3: was to say I'm not having I would probably get 579 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:27,800 Speaker 3: a comment being like, oh, you're not drinking? Why does 580 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:29,439 Speaker 3: that have to be even a question? 581 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,040 Speaker 1: Are you pregnant? 582 00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:31,560 Speaker 2: Yeah? 583 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:34,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely not. But also like I just I guess, 584 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,399 Speaker 3: I just don't. I wish that wasn't even a post question, 585 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,480 Speaker 3: and like why are you not drinking? Couldn't be like, well, 586 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:44,000 Speaker 3: why who cares? Who cares if I drink? Who cares 587 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:44,360 Speaker 3: if I don't? 588 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:45,440 Speaker 2: Why? Why are you not? Why? 589 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:47,440 Speaker 3: Why are you eating a cookie? And I'm not like, 590 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:48,960 Speaker 3: I'm not going to say like, oh, you're not eating 591 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:52,720 Speaker 3: a cookie. I know, but I just for some reason, 592 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,480 Speaker 3: it bothers me that that's even like a question. 593 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:58,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, it bothered me too. It's I tell clients to 594 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,880 Speaker 4: respond to that with I'm trying something new and I'm 595 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:03,800 Speaker 4: learning that I'm feeling so much. 596 00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:04,360 Speaker 5: Better without it. 597 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,880 Speaker 4: And if your girlfriends are good, that's a hard one 598 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,080 Speaker 4: for them to argue with, if you're feeling better or 599 00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,960 Speaker 4: sleeping better. The other one, too, is like we're all 600 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,640 Speaker 4: we're all struggling with anxiety, right, and we know so 601 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:20,680 Speaker 4: much now about how alcohol affects cortisol and adrenaline and 602 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,520 Speaker 4: how long it stays in our system. So you have 603 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:25,640 Speaker 4: a glass of wine on a Monday at book club 604 00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:29,600 Speaker 4: and your cortisol levels are still spiked seven days later, 605 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:31,640 Speaker 4: you know, And we have so much on our plates. 606 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:35,360 Speaker 4: Is as moms, we don't need that, And so it's 607 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:39,000 Speaker 4: we have so much more information now about how it's 608 00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:42,440 Speaker 4: actually affecting our brains and our bodies, and so as 609 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,480 Speaker 4: soon as and you can be the first mover in 610 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:47,800 Speaker 4: your friend group too, write and start like lying this 611 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,600 Speaker 4: down very gently and gracefully. But we know a lot 612 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,200 Speaker 4: about how it doesn't make us feel good and how 613 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:54,720 Speaker 4: it Yeah, so. 614 00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:58,680 Speaker 3: I heard, and I'm going to butcher the timing of 615 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 3: what this quote said or this article said. But it 616 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:06,400 Speaker 3: was like in ten or fifteen years, alcohol will be 617 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,680 Speaker 3: viewed the same way that cigarettes are viewed today. 618 00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:10,880 Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, let's see. 619 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 4: I don't know the exact timeline, but we know, as 620 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,040 Speaker 4: I said, we know so much information. 621 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:15,440 Speaker 2: Now. 622 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,720 Speaker 4: It's a class one carcinogen right up there with tobacco 623 00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:21,800 Speaker 4: and asbestos and like all these things that are really 624 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:26,200 Speaker 4: really awful for us. It's directly linked now to breast cancer. 625 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,520 Speaker 4: And I don't like love rattling these facts off, because 626 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:31,560 Speaker 4: I don't. I think it's hard to come from a 627 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:35,760 Speaker 4: scare tactic place. But it's more of empowering and educating ourselves. 628 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,760 Speaker 4: Right that three glasses of wine is that going to 629 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,800 Speaker 4: increase your breast cancer risk by fifteen percent? There are 630 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,080 Speaker 4: health organizations say that it does, and so it's just 631 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:48,280 Speaker 4: about empowering ourselves and learning. Just like we didn't know 632 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:51,000 Speaker 4: all the bad things tobacco and cigarettes we're doing to us. 633 00:30:51,520 --> 00:31:00,160 Speaker 4: We're learning so much more now. 634 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,520 Speaker 3: So what do you say to the people that talk 635 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:11,080 Speaker 3: about the benefits of potentially having a glass of wine. 636 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:12,720 Speaker 3: I mean, you look at people in Italy and they're 637 00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:15,000 Speaker 3: living their best life, like having all the carbs, all 638 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:19,680 Speaker 3: the alcohol, and they're living long and they look healthy. 639 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 2: I don't know, yeah they are. 640 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:25,320 Speaker 4: But a lot of the research about alcohol being good 641 00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:27,320 Speaker 4: like red wine for your heart that we all grew 642 00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:31,840 Speaker 4: up with that message, right, has been completely debunked that 643 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:35,360 Speaker 4: alcohol is actually like really really really bad for your heart. 644 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,000 Speaker 4: The World Heart Federation came out with the statement on that, 645 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:40,680 Speaker 4: I want to say, two years ago, and then the 646 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:44,960 Speaker 4: whole blue zones argument, which I get a lot. Actually, 647 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,200 Speaker 4: the research is showing that there's just as much death 648 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,720 Speaker 4: coming out of Europe from alcohol use is there as 649 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:52,000 Speaker 4: there is in the States. 650 00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:53,040 Speaker 5: We actually just. 651 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,720 Speaker 4: Had an expert on about that over on my podcast 652 00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:58,240 Speaker 4: talking about that exact same. 653 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:02,520 Speaker 5: Thing of you know, we looked really pretty, but there's. 654 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:05,600 Speaker 4: Just as much illness and death coming from alcohol abuse 655 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,520 Speaker 4: in Europe. I mean it's like, you know, Scotland and England. 656 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:09,880 Speaker 4: We love to drink over here. 657 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,600 Speaker 3: So I didn't know that about the heart and the 658 00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:14,800 Speaker 3: wine stuff, because I mean, yeah, I used to. This 659 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:19,080 Speaker 3: is so messed up. But you know, I'm a Christian 660 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:20,920 Speaker 3: and I would always be like, it's my Jesus juice, 661 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:22,640 Speaker 3: like Jesus drink wine, you. 662 00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:25,080 Speaker 5: Know, but that's the name of my podcast. But Jesus 663 00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:25,640 Speaker 5: drink wine. 664 00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, there you go. 665 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:31,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, And then that's what I would always say, it's 666 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:31,880 Speaker 3: my Jesus juice. 667 00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:33,520 Speaker 2: But no, it's not. 668 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:37,520 Speaker 4: Apparently well, I mean we I fick that the whole 669 00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:42,320 Speaker 4: other episode. But everything, right, the Bible says everything's permissible, 670 00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:46,600 Speaker 4: but not everything is beneficial. And the whole reason I 671 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:48,920 Speaker 4: wanted to write this book is I ended up getting 672 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:52,560 Speaker 4: closer to Jesus. I ended up renewing all of my 673 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:55,960 Speaker 4: faith and everything when I let go of alcohol. And 674 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,320 Speaker 4: so you know, it's possible. It's one of those things 675 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:00,479 Speaker 4: that are standing in the way. Although I heard that 676 00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:03,240 Speaker 4: that Bible study a lot, right, But Jesus drink wine. 677 00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:04,440 Speaker 2: Right? 678 00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:07,360 Speaker 3: What would you say to the person that is sober curious? 679 00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:09,360 Speaker 3: Do you talk about that in your book? Like what's 680 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:11,840 Speaker 3: the maybe one of the first steps to enter into 681 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,680 Speaker 3: that sober curious because I mean that is a there 682 00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:17,840 Speaker 3: are many people on Instagram talking about they're living a 683 00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:20,720 Speaker 3: sober curious life now on social media. 684 00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:24,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, there's lots of exercises in the book, but one 685 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:26,440 Speaker 4: of the first one is just to get really curious 686 00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:29,600 Speaker 4: about the why behind your drinking, right the jobs that 687 00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:30,600 Speaker 4: you're giving alcohol. 688 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:32,800 Speaker 5: Figure out what it is. 689 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,000 Speaker 4: That you need at the end of the day. Another 690 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:36,960 Speaker 4: way to put that is like, what's the unmet need? 691 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,080 Speaker 4: The kids are screaming, you know all the what do 692 00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:41,760 Speaker 4: you really need right now? Do you need arrest? Do 693 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,000 Speaker 4: you need five minutes alone? Do you need to go 694 00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:46,280 Speaker 4: to bed early? Do you need to call your best friends? 695 00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:46,400 Speaker 1: Like? 696 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:50,440 Speaker 4: What do you actually need? And get and get really curious. 697 00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:53,840 Speaker 4: Then if alcohol is is doing that for you, Because 698 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:56,840 Speaker 4: we all drink for reasons as women, they're very very 699 00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,960 Speaker 4: similar and as soon as we can start like eliminating 700 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,560 Speaker 4: of those reasons, then you're drinking less and that's a win. 701 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:07,400 Speaker 1: Is the book is the book mostly for women? As 702 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:10,520 Speaker 1: a can man benefit for this from this? Was it 703 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,560 Speaker 1: just purely directed towards females. 704 00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:18,200 Speaker 4: I wrote it for women because I felt really alone 705 00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:19,960 Speaker 4: when I started my own journey, and I didn't know 706 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:23,160 Speaker 4: any other women that were curious about this, and so 707 00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:26,160 Speaker 4: I wrote it towards women. But I mean, anybody can 708 00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:30,600 Speaker 4: benefit from a forty day break or getting curious, So yeah, 709 00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:31,640 Speaker 4: anybody can read it. 710 00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:35,680 Speaker 3: Was your husband sober or did he kind of come 711 00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:36,719 Speaker 3: along the journey with you? 712 00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:40,040 Speaker 5: He was the first person I'd said something to. 713 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:43,000 Speaker 4: I was like, babe, I have no idea what this means. 714 00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:44,960 Speaker 4: I don't know if it's going to be forever, but 715 00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:46,920 Speaker 4: right now, I just know I need to take a break. 716 00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:49,479 Speaker 4: And so for a very long time, he didn't drink 717 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:53,040 Speaker 4: in the house. This was also during COVID, but he 718 00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:55,560 Speaker 4: cut back majorly. But he'll still have a beer when 719 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:58,560 Speaker 4: he's grilling, or you know, on a night out with colleagues, 720 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,600 Speaker 4: he'll have it drink, but he's massively cut back. And 721 00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,000 Speaker 4: I talk about in the book how it's just done 722 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,879 Speaker 4: wonders for our marriage because we're not having those stupid 723 00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:09,520 Speaker 4: fights all the time, fickering. 724 00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:13,280 Speaker 2: Did you find that the fights were mostly alcohol related? 725 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:14,160 Speaker 4: Yes? 726 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:17,239 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah. 727 00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:19,239 Speaker 4: I used to do this thing where at the end 728 00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,280 Speaker 4: of the night I would write, like one eye open 729 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:24,120 Speaker 4: in my phone about why we were fighting all the 730 00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:26,640 Speaker 4: reasons I was right, so that then the next morning 731 00:35:26,719 --> 00:35:29,440 Speaker 4: I could win the argument. But of course you go 732 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,400 Speaker 4: back and you read those texts and they don't make sense. 733 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,919 Speaker 3: But yeah, I mean there is something to be said. 734 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,800 Speaker 3: I mean alcohol can can cause a lot of issues, 735 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:42,279 Speaker 3: probably in relationships with with with drinking and guaranteed, I 736 00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:43,839 Speaker 3: don't know what about free do you? Do you ever 737 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,400 Speaker 3: find a place where you think you would not not 738 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:47,560 Speaker 3: ever have alcohol? 739 00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:54,880 Speaker 1: No, because I don't really. There'll be there'll be a 740 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:58,600 Speaker 1: time and a place where I'll find complete and piece 741 00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:02,200 Speaker 1: and by balance with it. But I don't. I don't 742 00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:05,040 Speaker 1: think I want a life where I don't want to 743 00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:08,160 Speaker 1: have one or two beers where I'm grilling. And so 744 00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:10,640 Speaker 1: I think i'll I'll get. 745 00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,920 Speaker 2: What is the why? Though? For you, I'm just curious. 746 00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,360 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't really know what the why is. 747 00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,399 Speaker 1: I think it. I think it brings there's a part 748 00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,359 Speaker 1: of it brings a certain amount of peace while it's 749 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:27,040 Speaker 1: for the thirty minutes or whatever science says. I don't know. 750 00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:30,759 Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's a man thing of 751 00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,520 Speaker 1: I like to I just like to have a beer 752 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,560 Speaker 1: now and again. And I don't think I'll ever lose 753 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:38,480 Speaker 1: that habit. I don't either get to a point where 754 00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:41,520 Speaker 1: it'll be healthier, and who knows, I might get to 755 00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:43,520 Speaker 1: a point where I'm just like, you know what I've got. 756 00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:47,680 Speaker 1: I've limited it so much that why even why even 757 00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:48,279 Speaker 1: do it at all? 758 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:51,200 Speaker 3: I don't know, Coach, what do you hear when you do? 759 00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:52,880 Speaker 3: What do you What do you hear when you hear that? 760 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:56,680 Speaker 4: I think that if you have peace around it, right, 761 00:36:57,160 --> 00:36:59,640 Speaker 4: a lot of the of the That's the thing that 762 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:03,080 Speaker 4: my client say when they fully give up, is that 763 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,080 Speaker 4: that mental noise of should I, shouldn't I, and all 764 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,560 Speaker 4: the rules we were talking about. When that goes, you 765 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,920 Speaker 4: have so much more mental real estate and more peace. 766 00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:15,920 Speaker 4: And so if it's not clogging up your mind and you're. 767 00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,040 Speaker 5: In your you do have a good relationship with. 768 00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:22,360 Speaker 4: It, that's one hundred percent fine. I think I'm talking 769 00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:26,200 Speaker 4: to the gals who know that they're drinking too much 770 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:30,280 Speaker 4: and are sick and tired of struggling with being stuck 771 00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,480 Speaker 4: in this pattern and not know how to address it 772 00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:35,600 Speaker 4: when it looks like every you know, everyone around you 773 00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:39,120 Speaker 4: is drinking, and so we also all have our things right. 774 00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:41,600 Speaker 4: It might not be alcohol, It might be social media. 775 00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:43,879 Speaker 4: It might be we all have our things that are 776 00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:45,319 Speaker 4: are distracting and so. 777 00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,480 Speaker 2: This ism is what yeah is what it is? 778 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:50,560 Speaker 3: What I say, we all have that one thing that's 779 00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:52,440 Speaker 3: some sort of ism in our life. 780 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:53,120 Speaker 1: Yeah. 781 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:56,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, but Chrissy, thank you for coming on. Everyone. 782 00:37:56,239 --> 00:38:00,840 Speaker 3: Get Love Life Sober available September twenty fourth, a forty 783 00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:04,600 Speaker 3: day alcohol fast to rediscover your joy, improve your health, 784 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:05,800 Speaker 3: and renew your mind. 785 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,719 Speaker 2: And where else can our listeners find you? 786 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,440 Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm on Instagram. 787 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,719 Speaker 4: At love Life Sober with Christy and I also have 788 00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:15,520 Speaker 4: a podcast but Jesus drink Wine and other stories that 789 00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:16,200 Speaker 4: kept us stuck. 790 00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:18,279 Speaker 2: I love it. Thank you so much for coming on. 791 00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:20,840 Speaker 4: Thanks babe. Nice to meet you guys. 792 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:24,759 Speaker 3: Yeah. I think it's good. I think the balance is 793 00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,279 Speaker 3: a good thing. But I also the more I think 794 00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:33,239 Speaker 3: we dive into health things, it might be something that 795 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,000 Speaker 3: we both look at and go okay, because I could 796 00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:39,680 Speaker 3: be one hundred percent done. I could be sober and 797 00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:45,000 Speaker 3: not drink anymore. No, it sound good for you, it's 798 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:48,800 Speaker 3: not very nice, but it's just like I because I've 799 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:52,000 Speaker 3: cut that habit in a way where I don't feel. 800 00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:52,359 Speaker 2: Like I need it. 801 00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:54,200 Speaker 1: You've cut it down so much know that. 802 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, well it's again. I just I don't like how 803 00:38:57,880 --> 00:38:58,239 Speaker 2: it feel. 804 00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:00,000 Speaker 3: And I feel like when you stop too, you didn't 805 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:02,120 Speaker 3: you also recognize the benefits? 806 00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think those. I know that if I have 807 00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:08,239 Speaker 1: more than if I have more than probably two, if 808 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:12,040 Speaker 1: I have more than three drinks like three beers, I 809 00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:13,840 Speaker 1: know that I'm gonna wake up during the night and 810 00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:16,560 Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna have fears about things. I'm gonna 811 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,520 Speaker 1: wake up and think, why did you drink more than 812 00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:22,839 Speaker 1: three beers? And it almost brings it just it just 813 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,239 Speaker 1: brings all the dark things from your life and the 814 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:28,200 Speaker 1: fears up when you go to sleep. And then I 815 00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,040 Speaker 1: know that if I drank too much, I wake up, 816 00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:33,360 Speaker 1: and so therefore I just tend not to do that 817 00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,160 Speaker 1: to a point where I don't want to wake up 818 00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:37,560 Speaker 1: with fear and anxiety. 819 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:40,600 Speaker 2: So that's like one the only. 820 00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,759 Speaker 1: Fear and anxiety I have at night now is when 821 00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:46,839 Speaker 1: you elbow me when I'm snoring. Anxiety. I have been 822 00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:48,640 Speaker 1: elbowed midnight. 823 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:53,400 Speaker 3: Elbow I do it kind now. Anyways, all right, well, 824 00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:54,919 Speaker 3: we'll see you next week.