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Speaker 1: You hear me confession. I can't take back arms.

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Speaker 2: Speaker got a text to seventy five nine two. It

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Speaker 2: says I watched the NFL on a streaming service, but

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Speaker 2: also follow the games live on Twitter, and there's usually

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Speaker 2: about a one minute delay with the stream. So I

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Speaker 2: like to predict to my son which players are going

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Speaker 2: to score, and my record is one hundred percent.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, thanks, you're a psychic.

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Speaker 2: Now my son thinks I'm a football gen.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: Look, everybody on this show fully supports lying to children

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Speaker 2: to make yourself feel better. There's nothing wrong with that,

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Speaker 2: just as long as you don't lie to us on

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Speaker 2: this segments.

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Speaker 3: Where the line is drawn.

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Speaker 2: Yes, we have standards, And we have a guy on

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Speaker 2: the phone who wants to come clean today about something

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Speaker 2: while brook Live tweets about it. He's chosen to go

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Speaker 2: by the fake name Seth today. So Seth, welcome to

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Speaker 2: the show.

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Speaker 4: Hey, thank you for having me.

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Speaker 3: Hey Seth, do you want me to tag you in

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Speaker 3: my tweet? No, that would ruin the anonymous, But the.

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Speaker 2: Voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker. Set

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Speaker 2: Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 4: So I have this. Let's call it a very specific way.

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Speaker 1: To meet attractive women.

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Speaker 2: Okay, all of our male listeners are now fully tuned in.

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Speaker 3: They want to know how they're being tripped.

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Speaker 4: You know, I do admit it's a little deceptive.

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Speaker 2: What way of meeting women is in a little bit deceptive?

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Speaker 4: Right? Nice cuts both ways. So here's the deal. If

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Speaker 4: I ever run across a really cute.

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Speaker 1: Girl and I noticed that they have a pet, like

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Speaker 1: a cat or a dog, something like that.

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Speaker 3: But are you saying I'm sorry? Are you saying run

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Speaker 3: across as in online or are we talking in person?

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Speaker 1: Mainly online, some kinds of person, but usually online. Sure,

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Speaker 1: So I go find an Instagram account that's dedicated to

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Speaker 1: a pet and like just that pet, and make sure

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Speaker 1: that the pet looks just like hers, or very very

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Speaker 1: similar at least, And then I send me her picks

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Speaker 1: and I say, oh my god, we both have the

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Speaker 1: same golden doodle.

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Speaker 2: The dogs.

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Speaker 4: To meet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I play it out a little bit,

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Speaker 1: get a leg up on other guys, establish the connection.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, eventually that comes around and they're like, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, I want to meet Mitzi bitsy and what

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Speaker 1: do you do?

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Speaker 3: Then that's when he actually goes and steals a real dog,

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Speaker 3: by the way.

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Speaker 2: The Instagram dogs, I make sure in my local area.

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Speaker 1: What do you do if she's coming back to my place,

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Speaker 1: I'll say, Oh my god, I totally forgot. She's got

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Speaker 1: this weird eye thing going on right now. She needs

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Speaker 1: to be quarantined for a few days, like she can't

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Speaker 1: come in with human contact other than me. Like, meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: I have a little office like computer room. It's closed

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Speaker 1: and all that I have on loop my computer playing

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Speaker 1: these little dog noises, like occasionally a little like bark

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Speaker 1: or a little like breathing sniffing sound, or like sweaky

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Speaker 1: going off.

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Speaker 3: My friend, this will only last one time.

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Speaker 2: Second, yeah, are you?

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Speaker 3: Are you just doing this to meet up for a

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Speaker 3: one night's stand? Is that your goal?

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Speaker 1: I mean not, that's not like an only goal. It's

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Speaker 1: like one of the possibilities.

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Speaker 3: But what happens, it's I think it's the only possibility.

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Speaker 2: Let's give some credit to this man for Ferris buellering

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Speaker 2: these women who come by with like the fake thing

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Speaker 2: going on in the other room.

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Speaker 3: That's such an old reference that nobody knows what you're

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Speaker 3: talking about.

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Speaker 2: Jeff, Where Ferris Bueller plays like the audio of him

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Speaker 2: sleeping in the room with like the thing over the

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Speaker 2: bed and his parents don't know.

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Speaker 3: Next time you make fun of me for being old,

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Speaker 3: I just want you to remember this moment.

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Speaker 2: It's a timeless classic movie. You don't know, there's something

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Speaker 2: wrong with you.

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Speaker 1: There's another role's not wrong there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, but.

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Speaker 1: Here's the thing lately, I've been seeingless girls for the

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Speaker 1: last two months now.

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Speaker 4: That's a little out of the ordinary.

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Speaker 2: But I'm not hating that because are you saying normally,

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Speaker 2: like you don't hang out with these girls for very

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Speaker 2: long kind.

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Speaker 4: Of Yeah, that just seems to be the way it goes.

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Speaker 3: So does she feel thanks after two months that you

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Speaker 3: have a dog that has an eye infection.

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Speaker 1: I've been able to sort of extend it here and there, like, ooh,

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Speaker 1: I had to take her to a friend's place because

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Speaker 1: they work from home, and I sort of like got

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Speaker 1: a little oscillation on the the medical condition that my

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Speaker 1: dog has.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, are you going to come clean? Ooh?

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Speaker 2: That that has crossed his mind?

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Speaker 4: You really like her, so you're just gonna have to

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Speaker 4: buy this exact off. Yeah, I mean that sounds like

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Speaker 4: a lot of work.

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Speaker 2: It's probably going to be a couple of brand if

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Speaker 2: it's probably not as much work as continuing these lies

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Speaker 2: about all these different dogs that you own that are

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Speaker 2: all like constantly sick.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm a little stuck as what how do we

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Speaker 4: play this speaker?

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Speaker 3: Is that what that's turned into? We don't come on.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we only condone lying to children, remember, Yeah, that's

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Speaker 2: how we started.

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Speaker 3: Light about animals is way over the life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but we all have a kid inside ourselves, you know.

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Speaker 3: Nice try, nice try.

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Speaker 2: Congratulations, Seth, you've made our Brook and Jeffrey blacklist for

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Speaker 2: never to be back on the show.

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Speaker 3: We've got an awkward Tuesday phone call on the way

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Speaker 3: to let us let your girlfriend know that there's no dogs.

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Speaker 2: What do you think you want to be a good

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Speaker 2: guy on the radio?

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Speaker 4: Oh boy? Oh about I think so? I think so?

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Speaker 2: All right, you think about that more. We'll try and

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Speaker 2: think of some ideas to help you keep this lie going.

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Speaker 2: But keep your text coming in nine too. If you

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Speaker 2: have a confession you've been holding on to, will hide

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Speaker 2: your identity, mask your voice, and make you the next

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Speaker 2: mass speaker. Your phone taps coming up right after this.

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Speaker 4: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,