1 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:10,080 Speaker 1: Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson, 2 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: your host, narrator and author. We hear at the ten 3 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 1: minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or 4 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to 5 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 1: pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human 6 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:35,640 Speaker 1: condition as ten minutes will permit. Mini novels on steroids. 7 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:45,000 Speaker 1: This week we meet the Fastbawler throws over one hundred 8 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 1: miles per hour. Just signed a big, fat MLB contract. 9 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: She's a billionaire's daughter, a wild thing, really likes to 10 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 1: have a good time. The crazier the better. They meet 11 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:05,760 Speaker 1: at a South Beach soiree, and that same night she 12 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:10,280 Speaker 1: recruits him for a trip to Greece to attend a 13 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 1: fancy destination wedding. What could possibly go wrong? The heiress 14 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: and the fastballer. He drops her on the postage stamp 15 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:32,760 Speaker 1: sized deserted island they found a few days ago while 16 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:38,280 Speaker 1: out yachting. After she jumps overboard and swims to shore, 17 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 1: he yells, you're crazy. This is not news. This is 18 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:50,000 Speaker 1: an extremely apt description. A very pretty girl with a 19 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 1: very hot body and a super rich daddy can be 20 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 1: all kinds of crazy and everyone just laughs and tries 21 00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: to get in her pants. Boys and girls alike, even 22 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:06,320 Speaker 1: at her tender age. She's had plenty of both. Back 23 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:10,720 Speaker 1: in the States at a South beach Corrouse, she picked 24 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 1: him to be her date at next week's big destination 25 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:21,239 Speaker 1: wedding extravaganza here in Greece on the island of Micanos. 26 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 1: Why did she pick him? Because he's hotter than hades 27 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:28,799 Speaker 1: and because he's the next big thing in the MLB 28 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:32,920 Speaker 1: with his powerful left arm that can throw a rising 29 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 1: fastball at over one hundred miles per hour. A few 30 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:42,080 Speaker 1: months shy of his twenty fourth birthday, and he just 31 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 1: signed for the big score millions. Not that she gives 32 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: it too. It about the money her dady has billions. 33 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:55,960 Speaker 1: They arrived on Micanos last week, checked into a suite 34 00:02:55,960 --> 00:03:00,480 Speaker 1: at the palladium overlooking the sea, and immediately starting having 35 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:05,840 Speaker 1: extremely vigorous sex. He had never been to Grease before, 36 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 1: had never been out of the States before, had never 37 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 1: really had sex before, not like this. Usually the girls 38 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 1: just kind of lay there and swarmed around a little. 39 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:20,640 Speaker 1: This was more like having sex with a wild cat, 40 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 1: maybe a cheetah or a mountain lion. And when not 41 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:31,280 Speaker 1: having sex, she ate ordered everything from room service, shrimp, cocktail, 42 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 1: shrimp scampy, steak, sandwiches, French fries, steffato, sulaki, ice cream, 43 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:44,480 Speaker 1: and of course champagne, endless bottles of champagne. And she 44 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 1: never tired because every hour or so she raisored up 45 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: a thin line of white powder on the glass coffee 46 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 1: table in front of the sofa and snorted it up 47 00:03:56,640 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: through a roll tight one hundred dollar bill. In awe 48 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 1: of her, he just did what he was told. Occasionally 49 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 1: they went out to frolic in the infinity pool, including 50 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:15,240 Speaker 1: once at like three in the morning, she pulled off 51 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:19,599 Speaker 1: her teeny bikini bottom and said, honeyboy, doo me in 52 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 1: the moonlight. Several times, in locker rooms and on buses 53 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 1: to away games, he and his teammates had discussed whether 54 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:34,039 Speaker 1: it was possible to have sex underwater. He always expressed 55 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 1: the opinion that it was definitely impossible, no way to 56 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:43,080 Speaker 1: get it in there. Well wrong again. Three or four 57 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 1: days into their sexual romp, they run at a yacht 58 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: with a crew and went cruising around the Mediterranean. That's 59 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:54,440 Speaker 1: when they found the small deserted island, where she told 60 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: the crew not to peek before they jumped overboard swam 61 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 1: ashore and had raw sex on the fine white sand 62 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 1: while she dreamed up this whole crazy scenario wherein they 63 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 1: were marooned and might never again get back to civilization. 64 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,599 Speaker 1: The tiny island, smaller than a baseball field and about 65 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 1: the same shape, had one palm tree. The palm provided 66 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: a smidgeon of shade, and its coconuts the island's only 67 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 1: source of food. Well, get so nice and thin, she declared, 68 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: while we screw ourselves silly. He nodded and tried to 69 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:40,159 Speaker 1: act jolly and compliant, but it was tough with those 70 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 1: dudes on the yacht peering through the portholes, and because 71 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,600 Speaker 1: well because he is a wiener, had started to look 72 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 1: like it had been left too long on the weber. 73 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:55,600 Speaker 1: A couple days later, back at their sweet at the Palladium, 74 00:05:56,080 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 1: she finished off a fourth piece of super sweet cheesecake 75 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 1: and declared, Oh my god, I'm so fucking fat. He 76 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 1: thought she was skinny as a stick, which was incredible 77 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 1: considering the way she put away the chow, But she 78 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:18,800 Speaker 1: had some self body shaming issues. He'd never get his 79 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:24,119 Speaker 1: mostly empty head around. Fat that fat, she shouted, fat 80 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:27,480 Speaker 1: that fat, and she waddled around the room, stark naked 81 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:32,600 Speaker 1: and shaking her non existent belly. Fat. You're not fat, Jesus, 82 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 1: You're like I mean, you're like perfect. I am fat 83 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 1: and the wedding is in three days. I can't go 84 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 1: to the wedding looking like this. I'll look like a 85 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 1: sow in the exquisite gown Halston made just for me. 86 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 1: He'd seen her in that gown just the other night. Unbelievable. 87 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:57,040 Speaker 1: The skimpy gold thing fit like a glove, perfectly showed 88 00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:01,280 Speaker 1: off every bump and curve. I've got it, she shouted, 89 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: I've got it, pulling on Undy's short shorts and a 90 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:10,560 Speaker 1: cropped tea. I've got the absolutely most audacious, incredible idea ever. 91 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,440 Speaker 1: It'll be good for me, and if we play it 92 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 1: just right, super good for you too. Awesome, he said, 93 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 1: He said awesome a lot. He had a very super 94 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 1: fast left handed fastball, a multi million dollar fastball, but 95 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,840 Speaker 1: the rest of his game, well maybe just a touch 96 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 1: on the slow side. What's the idea? Too much food 97 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:41,119 Speaker 1: in this dump, she announced, slipping into her ug slip onds. 98 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,040 Speaker 1: I need to go where there's no food, not a crumb, 99 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: and no booze, not so much as a wee dram. Now, 100 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:51,960 Speaker 1: come on, let's sced daddle. This time, they didn't go 101 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 1: by yacht. They rented a speedboat down at the marina 102 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:59,240 Speaker 1: and zoomed off at full throttle, the crazy little rich 103 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 1: girl at the helm. They passed many islands, sped through 104 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:10,040 Speaker 1: several narrow channels, hydroplaned over smooth open water. You know 105 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:13,440 Speaker 1: where we're going, he asked, Oh, good God, what fun 106 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:17,280 Speaker 1: would that be? And then she laughed. She laughed and laughed, 107 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:22,240 Speaker 1: and soon the little deserted island came into view. She 108 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,440 Speaker 1: pulled back on the throttle and let the speedboats settle 109 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:29,680 Speaker 1: into an idol twenty yards off the island with its 110 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 1: single coconut palm. She moved to the bow, showed him 111 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:38,920 Speaker 1: her breasts and instructed, three days, give me three days, 112 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:43,199 Speaker 1: pick me up in exactly three days. I'll be runway 113 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,680 Speaker 1: model thin by then. And she dove into the sea 114 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:51,400 Speaker 1: and started stroking. This is when he shouted, you're crazy. 115 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 1: As she waded ashore. I'm free, she shouted back, free 116 00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:03,080 Speaker 1: of food, free of booze, free of tempty. Well, he 117 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 1: got completely lost on his way back to Meconos, entirely 118 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:13,360 Speaker 1: turned around all that water, everything looked the same. He 119 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:16,720 Speaker 1: had no idea what direction to go. He'd never even 120 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 1: driven a boat before, first time ever. He threw fastballs. 121 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:26,360 Speaker 1: That was this thing, rising fastballs, just rear back, baby, 122 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 1: and fire away. Well. Soon the boat ran out of gas. 123 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:37,319 Speaker 1: He drifted for hours, watched the sunset. Eventually an island 124 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:43,120 Speaker 1: came into view. He dove overboard and swam ashore. Found 125 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:46,640 Speaker 1: a small town. Nobody spoke a word of English, not 126 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 1: a word, and is less than stellar Greek. He asked 127 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:57,320 Speaker 1: a young couple pause the Gamos Dave of Philandia. He 128 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 1: meant to ask for directions back to Hmm. He didn't 129 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,840 Speaker 1: do very well. Would have been better to zip the 130 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 1: old lip. The young man that he had asked frowned 131 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 1: and immediately punched him in the nose, possibly breaking it 132 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:19,800 Speaker 1: and clearly causing large amounts of blood to flow. Then 133 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 1: that not enough to deflect the insult. The young man 134 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:28,320 Speaker 1: wrenched the fast baller's arm, his left arm, of course, 135 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 1: behind his back, until all present heard the ulna crack. 136 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,520 Speaker 1: They didn't know it was the ulna, but unfortunately it 137 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:41,600 Speaker 1: was the olna is one of the very important bones 138 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:46,319 Speaker 1: in the forearm that helps boys and girls throw balls. 139 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 1: The fastball you see, had inconveniently asked not how can 140 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 1: I get to Mecanos, but rather, how can I screw 141 00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 1: your girlfriend? And now, after much angst and anger and 142 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 1: many bad translations and accusations, it's three days later and 143 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 1: he's in a cast and not sure when he'll be 144 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 1: back throwing fastballs again. But that is of no great 145 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:21,839 Speaker 1: concern right now because the national police the Hellenica Polisia 146 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 1: are holding him responsible for the disappearance of the all 147 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:32,760 Speaker 1: powerful tech billionaire's teenage daughter. Teenage daughter, are you kidding me, 148 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:37,560 Speaker 1: shit man? She told me she was twenty three. The 149 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:42,319 Speaker 1: police think his crazy story about the weight loss scheme 150 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:48,560 Speaker 1: on the deserted island is pure poppycock. Nevertheless, for the 151 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:53,800 Speaker 1: past sixteen hours they've been cruising around the Mediterranean looking 152 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 1: for the beautiful girl with the hot body on the 153 00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 1: little island with the single coconut palm. The story has 154 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:06,199 Speaker 1: already made headlines back home, and that big fat MLB 155 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:12,679 Speaker 1: contract the ink not yet dry, is in jeopardy. Boats 156 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 1: filled with Papa Razzi follow the police boat. It is 157 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 1: like so much else in modern life, a fucking circus. 158 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 1: And then and then he sees it in the distance, 159 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:29,760 Speaker 1: across the sea. He points there, over there, the police 160 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 1: boat closes on the small island, resting against the smooth 161 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:40,480 Speaker 1: trunk of the coconut palm. Her face the picture of 162 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:47,200 Speaker 1: pure bliss, absolutely certain, nothing bad could ever happen to her. Ever, 163 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:51,400 Speaker 1: she waves, She gives a big wave, and after a 164 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 1: moment she stands and smiles, a great, big, super wide, 165 00:12:56,559 --> 00:13:03,200 Speaker 1: super happy, super rich girl smile. She looks magnificent, like 166 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:09,600 Speaker 1: some minor Greek goddess. Hair bleached blonde, and every inch 167 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:14,360 Speaker 1: of her body, every inch bronzed by that high, hot 168 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:20,600 Speaker 1: Mediterranean sun, and so thin. Look at her, good God, 169 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:26,120 Speaker 1: a virtual skeleton, the embodiment of modern beauty. Skinny, yes, 170 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:30,960 Speaker 1: but stunning, gorgeous, fabulous. Oh what a hit. She'll be 171 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:35,760 Speaker 1: at the wedding in her halston and her hunky Fastballer 172 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:41,280 Speaker 1: thanks to her scheming, now a figure of intense media 173 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:53,480 Speaker 1: and Internet interest, hard at her side. Thanks for listening 174 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 1: to this original audio presentation of the Heiress and the Fastballer, 175 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:06,040 Speaker 1: narrated as always by the author. If you enjoy Today's story. 176 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: Please take a few seconds to rate, review, and subscribe 177 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:15,440 Speaker 1: to this podcast, and then go to Thomas William Simpson 178 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 1: dot com for additional information about the author and to 179 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 1: view his extensive canon. The Ten Minute Storyteller is produced 180 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:30,040 Speaker 1: by Andrew Pliglici and Josh Colodney and as part of 181 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 1: the Elvis Duran Podcast Network in partnership with Iheartproductions. Until 182 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:41,600 Speaker 1: next time, this is Bill Simpson, your ten Minute Storyteller.