1
00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:06,000
Speaker 1: Hi from the phone. It's always a little sad to

2
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,560
Speaker 1: me when I can't actually see your face. I know,

3
00:00:09,039 --> 00:00:11,720
Speaker 1: I know, it makes a little harder to I can't

4
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,040
Speaker 1: bust you when you're checking emails and not paying attention

5
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:19,160
Speaker 1: to me. I was in drop box, okay, just to clarify,

6
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:23,200
Speaker 1: you were in drop box. Okay. Well, um, how's it

7
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,920
Speaker 1: going at home? So Chip is away for a month

8
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:29,920
Speaker 1: from Nashville and you're back home basically like when you

9
00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:34,240
Speaker 1: were in college you were going home during like winter break. Totally,

10
00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:38,000
Speaker 1: that's exactly what it is. It's funny. I um, it's well, hey,

11
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,760
Speaker 1: it's going great. I mean my first few days, my

12
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,440
Speaker 1: sister was here with her two kids and her dog

13
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:48,080
Speaker 1: and I've got my two dogs, and it was just chaos. Yeah.

14
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:50,360
Speaker 1: And you know, I'm used to being in a house

15
00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:53,840
Speaker 1: by myself with my dogs to be quiet. It's quiet.

16
00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:59,760
Speaker 1: It is never quiet in this house. Yeah, takes some adjusting. Yeah, Like,

17
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,560
Speaker 1: don't know, when I turn on the TV and I

18
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,560
Speaker 1: don't see anything that I'm like dying to watch. I

19
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,279
Speaker 1: turned the TV off. Not my mom. She just puts

20
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:10,120
Speaker 1: on like reruns of Bonanza and let's it go, you know,

21
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:14,920
Speaker 1: And she's not even watching it. It's it's like that's

22
00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:16,840
Speaker 1: what that's what the choice was today. And then my

23
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:21,840
Speaker 1: dad's like, oh, you're watching Bonanza. No, No, nobody's actually

24
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:25,600
Speaker 1: watching Banana. It's our background noise for the day. But

25
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:29,240
Speaker 1: it's it's just funny, like you know, I'm I'm noticing

26
00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:32,880
Speaker 1: like really interesting ticks about them, like both of them.

27
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,720
Speaker 1: Um sort of think out loud about everything, you know,

28
00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,560
Speaker 1: and I wonder if it's something that I do, and

29
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,600
Speaker 1: I just don't realize that when I'm doing it, but

30
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,960
Speaker 1: like you know, they'll just be like what was I

31
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:48,680
Speaker 1: doing or like you know, like things like that, Oh

32
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:51,160
Speaker 1: my god, it's so funny. But it's and I don't

33
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,880
Speaker 1: know if it's because I'm in the room so they're

34
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,600
Speaker 1: making it into a conversation. But I'm like, we don't.

35
00:01:56,720 --> 00:02:00,720
Speaker 1: That doesn't need to be said out. I love that

36
00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,120
Speaker 1: is our new T shirt. Bonanza is our background music.

37
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:13,679
Speaker 1: Oh you're watching, but nobody's watching it. Nobody's actually watching it.

38
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:17,440
Speaker 1: Does anybody actually watch Bonanza? Then that's a bigger question.

39
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,840
Speaker 1: I probably just people in my parents age room. I mean,

40
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,400
Speaker 1: my mom does love her stories though, yeah, every day

41
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,040
Speaker 1: she was watching her stories. I love it. I love that.

42
00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:28,320
Speaker 1: I forget which one she was watching another day, but

43
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,760
Speaker 1: like there was literally a guy having a mental breakdown

44
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,320
Speaker 1: and making out with a mannequin that he was imagining

45
00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:38,240
Speaker 1: was a real person. Wow, that sounds that sounds a

46
00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,880
Speaker 1: little not classy enough for days of our lives. So

47
00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:44,000
Speaker 1: I would go with maybe bold and the beautiful. I

48
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,880
Speaker 1: think I think it was, Yeah, that sounds very bold

49
00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:49,320
Speaker 1: and the beautiful. The bold and the beautiful. I don't

50
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,240
Speaker 1: even know how to say these things. I used to

51
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,160
Speaker 1: watch those like when I was, um, I guess that

52
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,280
Speaker 1: was is college because when else are you home during

53
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,040
Speaker 1: that time? If you gets so sucked in, even though

54
00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:02,400
Speaker 1: it's so dumb, it's essentially it's like reality TV, if

55
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:07,280
Speaker 1: we're being honest, Yeah, it's yeah, Yeah, it's that stuff

56
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,440
Speaker 1: that you're like, oh my god, you could never write that.

57
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,880
Speaker 1: It's like, except for it's been written for a soap

58
00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:14,160
Speaker 1: opera and they've been going on for like fifty years,

59
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:15,560
Speaker 1: so it's like you just got to come up with

60
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:20,160
Speaker 1: like bullshit partical stuff to like keep it. Yeah, you

61
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,040
Speaker 1: gotta keep the people in, gotta keep the people in. Well,

62
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,840
Speaker 1: we miss you here, but I'm glad that it's going

63
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,120
Speaker 1: well at home. Um, I was pulling up some of

64
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,799
Speaker 1: our at casual emails. I mean, Chip, I don't even

65
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,560
Speaker 1: know what to say. It's like, it's like we've really

66
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,680
Speaker 1: turned some new leaf here, because every time I open

67
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,480
Speaker 1: the inbox, I'm just like, what we have so many emails?

68
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,000
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can't wait. I know, this is

69
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,160
Speaker 1: so exciting. I want to go through. I like to

70
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,400
Speaker 1: go through the ones that have like notes from the

71
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:49,360
Speaker 1: previous weeks, and we had a lot about the Scotland.

72
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,520
Speaker 1: We brought it to you guys two weeks ago that

73
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,560
Speaker 1: we thought it was bullshit that girls have to pay

74
00:03:55,600 --> 00:04:00,440
Speaker 1: for tampons or sanitary napkins if you will, each month,

75
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,400
Speaker 1: and like how much that adds up over a lifetime,

76
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:06,400
Speaker 1: that that should be a part of an insurance plan

77
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,680
Speaker 1: for females or girls just shouldn't have to pay for that.

78
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,000
Speaker 1: It's not like we choose to have periods. So then

79
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:14,680
Speaker 1: the next week it just so happened that Scotland passed

80
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:18,400
Speaker 1: a new law that said women actually don't have to

81
00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,800
Speaker 1: pay for period products anymore, and we were elated. I

82
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,560
Speaker 1: mean that was a huge deal. So we got some

83
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,440
Speaker 1: feedback about that One of the questions that you and

84
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,840
Speaker 1: I had was how when Scotland made their big announcement

85
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:35,479
Speaker 1: they announced it as how did they say it? It

86
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:39,680
Speaker 1: wasn't just for women, it was for anyone who needs them,

87
00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,280
Speaker 1: That's what it was, anyone who needs them. So we

88
00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:44,120
Speaker 1: were kind of confused because we're like, like, who else

89
00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,520
Speaker 1: would need them besides women? Like that was where they

90
00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,760
Speaker 1: well they wrote in a thought, So I thought this

91
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,880
Speaker 1: was interesting, she said. This is from Meredith high Chipp

92
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,359
Speaker 1: and Kelly huge fan of the Act Casual podcast. I

93
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,800
Speaker 1: have three kids and listen to your podcast. As my

94
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:01,640
Speaker 1: quote unquote me time learned the I learned the hard

95
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,680
Speaker 1: way to put headphones in after my four year old

96
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:10,320
Speaker 1: heard a few explicitives. See that's probably me love. I

97
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,320
Speaker 1: love that Scotland is offering free period products for anyone

98
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,760
Speaker 1: who needs them. I think by not saying they are

99
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,680
Speaker 1: only four women, they are being inclusive to transmen who

100
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,880
Speaker 1: might still get their periods, or those born with female

101
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,560
Speaker 1: reproductive parts who do not identify as women. For anyone

102
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,640
Speaker 1: who yeah, which is kind of what we said. I thought,

103
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,359
Speaker 1: maybe for anyone who needs them is the epitome of

104
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:38,360
Speaker 1: Acting Casual, right, just a thought which I loved. It

105
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,280
Speaker 1: is acting casual because it's it's included. It's very inclusive,

106
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:45,760
Speaker 1: which is not the way that our society has tended

107
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,039
Speaker 1: to work. So that was really really great, I thought, Um,

108
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:53,000
Speaker 1: this is a part two of one of the questions

109
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,200
Speaker 1: we answered last week from Lauren. She was the one

110
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,280
Speaker 1: who wrote us about She's the twenty nine year old

111
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,800
Speaker 1: she was dating the older guy who, just like once

112
00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:03,280
Speaker 1: they got into a serious monogamous relationship, was really not

113
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:07,720
Speaker 1: interested in sex that much. Do you remember this? So

114
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,520
Speaker 1: she wrote back in this is from a Vulnerable Heart

115
00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:14,279
Speaker 1: Part two. Hey, Chip and Kelly, thanks for the great advice.

116
00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,280
Speaker 1: I love that love as a verb. I'm going to

117
00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,960
Speaker 1: keep that one in my pocket. You asked me what

118
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,280
Speaker 1: I love about my boyfriend. Well, I fell in love

119
00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:23,440
Speaker 1: with my boyfriend because it took three months between our

120
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:27,520
Speaker 1: first date and are becoming exclusive, and about a month

121
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:31,120
Speaker 1: was due to some personal personal medical issues. He had

122
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:34,279
Speaker 1: no obligation to stick around, but he did. I stay

123
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,240
Speaker 1: in love with him because he makes me a mug

124
00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:38,160
Speaker 1: of coffee to wake up, a cup of tea to

125
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:41,040
Speaker 1: feel better, and a glass of wine, and an aromatherapy

126
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:44,440
Speaker 1: bubble bath. He drew for me to relax. I guess

127
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:48,320
Speaker 1: I struggle with differentiating between the realistic expectations and the

128
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,760
Speaker 1: Hollywood ideals. Being twenty nine, I have sifted through the

129
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:55,080
Speaker 1: fanfare of great expression without substance in that between a

130
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,080
Speaker 1: man who leaves romantic post It's all over the house

131
00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,400
Speaker 1: but looks at his phone more than me and a

132
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,560
Speaker 1: man who helps me carry the groceries from my car,

133
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,760
Speaker 1: but whose best romantic poem starts with roses or red

134
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:09,279
Speaker 1: violets are blue, I would choose the latter if you

135
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,800
Speaker 1: asked me, have asked me before, I would not have

136
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,760
Speaker 1: prioritized sex in a relationship because I've never been a

137
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,400
Speaker 1: particularly sexual person. Maybe my sex drive is starting to

138
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,760
Speaker 1: take off in my last year of my twenties, But

139
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,000
Speaker 1: these days my boyfriend turns me on and there is

140
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,320
Speaker 1: not no one I would rather be with in that way.

141
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:28,440
Speaker 1: My concern is just that his experience seems to be

142
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:32,040
Speaker 1: the opposite, having been sexual before and less so now

143
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,880
Speaker 1: with me. But maybe I'm putting on pressure imposed by

144
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:39,400
Speaker 1: society rather than evaluating our relationship with in the context

145
00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:42,480
Speaker 1: of just the two of us. Anyway, thank you for

146
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,000
Speaker 1: providing just the perspective I needed. You certainly gave me

147
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,280
Speaker 1: food for thought. Now it's just time for me to

148
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,960
Speaker 1: digest that and rest and the rest of my Thanksgiving feast.

149
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,560
Speaker 1: Happy holidays, Lauren, I hear you, girl, that's still full

150
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:59,040
Speaker 1: from Thanksgiving. I like that she you know, I think

151
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,600
Speaker 1: it's she makes a really great point that even asking us,

152
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:08,480
Speaker 1: you know, injects um opinion that's outside of the and

153
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:11,840
Speaker 1: because we're not in it every day, it's, uh, we

154
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:14,800
Speaker 1: can obviously only sort of just give opinion that's not

155
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,760
Speaker 1: based on anything other than what she tells us. But

156
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,040
Speaker 1: I think it's she makes a really great point that, like,

157
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:25,400
Speaker 1: you know, with society thrust upon us, you know, from

158
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,160
Speaker 1: the way our body should look, to the way that

159
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,320
Speaker 1: our relationships should look, to the way that our houses

160
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:33,480
Speaker 1: should look, all of that stuff, um, and what is ideal?

161
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:38,000
Speaker 1: And you know, at the end of the day, liking

162
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:42,560
Speaker 1: somebody and being happy together is truly what should be ideal,

163
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:47,720
Speaker 1: you know, and being comfortable within the framework of your

164
00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:50,640
Speaker 1: own relationship. And I think that's a really really healthy

165
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,200
Speaker 1: way to look at it. I mean, I'm speaking up

166
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,959
Speaker 1: my parents who were talking about earlier. I mean, there

167
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,640
Speaker 1: and there's mid seventies and it's I can't imagine that

168
00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:01,080
Speaker 1: they have like like a while sex life at this point,

169
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,800
Speaker 1: but like find out why are there I hope not.

170
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:08,280
Speaker 1: I hope not, but um, you know, like they work

171
00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:11,840
Speaker 1: together so well as a unit, you know, and I

172
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,600
Speaker 1: don't even know if they've ever had like a wild

173
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,439
Speaker 1: sex life. I know that they've always been a great

174
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,680
Speaker 1: team and there's always been a lot of love there

175
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,920
Speaker 1: for each other. So um, you know, I think that

176
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,880
Speaker 1: truly is the goal. Got said, if she is having

177
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:29,040
Speaker 1: sexual desires, she should be open about them and you

178
00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:32,920
Speaker 1: should try to meet her in the middle. Yeah. Actually,

179
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,360
Speaker 1: I mean I think your answer is pretty much just

180
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,560
Speaker 1: in line with mine. I think that there's so much

181
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,920
Speaker 1: more to a relationship than sex. I think that's just

182
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,679
Speaker 1: one piece of the puzzle, you know, so because I've

183
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,640
Speaker 1: been in relationships where you have great sex, but like

184
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,280
Speaker 1: there's so many other factors, like maybe you have sexual chemistry,

185
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,880
Speaker 1: but you don't have like life chemistry, like you can't

186
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,800
Speaker 1: live together and the experience life from the same standpoint

187
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,240
Speaker 1: to be a team, you know, which is a totally

188
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:03,440
Speaker 1: other issue than it sounds like he's a very loving, thoughtful,

189
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:08,160
Speaker 1: generous partner, which is huge. The only concern I have

190
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:11,559
Speaker 1: is exactly like what you said, um, is not getting

191
00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:14,640
Speaker 1: your needs met. And like, obviously we all know that

192
00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:16,960
Speaker 1: not one person is ever going to meet your needs.

193
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,880
Speaker 1: And so you know, that's why it's important to have

194
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,400
Speaker 1: really strong friendships and not just rely on your partner

195
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,800
Speaker 1: for everything and all kinds of support. But if you're

196
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:28,640
Speaker 1: trying to be monogamous, sex and fulfilling that need is

197
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:32,000
Speaker 1: kind of an important piece of that. So it seems

198
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:35,320
Speaker 1: like to me, maybe the compromise is like what you

199
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,880
Speaker 1: said is a really good place to start, where it's

200
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:41,320
Speaker 1: like she speaks up, she opens her mouth about it,

201
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,880
Speaker 1: she expresses their needs, but also like not putting the

202
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:47,240
Speaker 1: expectations of like, oh, we're gonna have sex every night,

203
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,120
Speaker 1: it's gonna be wild, and we're gonna be hanging from

204
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,360
Speaker 1: ceiling fans and so, you know, into each other like

205
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,760
Speaker 1: you would in the movies ceiling fans. That was nobody

206
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:57,440
Speaker 1: does that. Hopefully nobody does that. I don't know that

207
00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:01,079
Speaker 1: sounds dangerous, um, but you know, like just not putting

208
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,200
Speaker 1: that expectation. And I also think that we are all

209
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:09,040
Speaker 1: guilty of comparing ourselves to other people's relationships, and like

210
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:12,120
Speaker 1: you said, asking that outside opinion like that is just

211
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,560
Speaker 1: not really fully feasible, although I think it can be

212
00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:19,040
Speaker 1: helpful in some capacity, Like you have to know what

213
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,360
Speaker 1: you want, what you need, what works for you, and

214
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,080
Speaker 1: you're really the only person that can decide that at

215
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:28,160
Speaker 1: the end of the day. Right. Yeah, Well, I I'm

216
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:30,160
Speaker 1: glad we helped a little bit, Lauren, and I really

217
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,559
Speaker 1: hope that you guys can find some sort of happy

218
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,800
Speaker 1: compromise because it sounds like he's a good dude too,

219
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:38,000
Speaker 1: just maybe there's some things going on here. And I

220
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,880
Speaker 1: always think too in these situations like there's no shame

221
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,800
Speaker 1: and involving a third party like a therapist to kind

222
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,400
Speaker 1: of if you don't know how to have the conversation

223
00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:49,240
Speaker 1: like or bring it up even that's like a really

224
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:52,280
Speaker 1: good outlet just to get some tools for even communicating

225
00:11:52,640 --> 00:12:02,719
Speaker 1: about tough topics and chips. Checking his dropbox again, Okay, Um, anyway,

226
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,959
Speaker 1: that was from Lauren. This comes from Camden, So Camden

227
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:12,960
Speaker 1: was our girl. Um that brought up aquatic sex, which

228
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,320
Speaker 1: also has gotten us a ton of emails. A lot

229
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,440
Speaker 1: of people have thoughts on aquatic sex. I thought this

230
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,080
Speaker 1: was really interesting. But so here's here's what Camden had

231
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,120
Speaker 1: to say. I died laughing at your episode. Thanks for

232
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,400
Speaker 1: making me feel not crazy and honestly, Kelly, you're onto something.

233
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,240
Speaker 1: The inspiration for aquatic sex came from a movie bend

234
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,960
Speaker 1: between How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, The

235
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:35,120
Speaker 1: Longest Ride, The Lucky One, and The Notebook. I was

236
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:38,760
Speaker 1: in a rom com mood. L O L. But yeah

237
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,400
Speaker 1: they are. They're all steamy and slamming each other into

238
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:46,920
Speaker 1: walls like there's no fucking danger with slippery surfaces and

239
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:50,880
Speaker 1: wrinkly fingers. Isn't a cute look? Been there, done that?

240
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:56,440
Speaker 1: Although this was so fascinating to me, my boyfriend did

241
00:12:56,559 --> 00:13:00,960
Speaker 1: say the wrinkles provided a different type of dick sensation.

242
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,520
Speaker 1: Not sure if I should be worried what kind of

243
00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:06,000
Speaker 1: stuff are a drange for that matter that he's into

244
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:10,400
Speaker 1: with that comment, but I'll just roll with it. Also,

245
00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:12,320
Speaker 1: I just thought it would be funny to share that

246
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:15,800
Speaker 1: for anniversary. My boyfriend got me God damn goggles God

247
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:19,160
Speaker 1: to love him. It was before I learned about snorkels

248
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,160
Speaker 1: those and maybe that'll be my Christmas gift. Hell, maybe

249
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:25,040
Speaker 1: that'll be his Christmas gift. I'll keep you posted on

250
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:30,959
Speaker 1: our next scuba adventure. I left would be Yeah, I mean,

251
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,560
Speaker 1: I think it's better for the god to have it anyway. Right,

252
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:39,000
Speaker 1: we talked about that. What about the wrinkly fingers? Is

253
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:44,400
Speaker 1: that true? Chip? Have you ever experienced that? Well? You

254
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:48,720
Speaker 1: have not? You have I feel it, I mean honestly,

255
00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,439
Speaker 1: not that I can remember. But you would think like

256
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:57,959
Speaker 1: it just makes them almost like ribbed for pleasure. Yeah,

257
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,160
Speaker 1: maybe you should, um, take one for the team, even

258
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,280
Speaker 1: do some research for us today and then report back

259
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:12,480
Speaker 1: next week a time, and then make love with myself myself.

260
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,959
Speaker 1: I just can't. It's always different when someone else is

261
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:20,200
Speaker 1: touching you. You know, it's like I'm you scratch your

262
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:25,480
Speaker 1: own itch. You scratch well. As soon as you get

263
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:28,160
Speaker 1: into some sort of situation, the first thing we're all

264
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,600
Speaker 1: going to need you to do is take or make

265
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,000
Speaker 1: whoever it is you have to take a really long

266
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:39,640
Speaker 1: bath and get rink with fingers and then report back. Okay. Um.

267
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:43,600
Speaker 1: In regards to our comments about uh or, I think

268
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:46,000
Speaker 1: I said something about like nobody wants to have to

269
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,760
Speaker 1: wear pads and like I haven't worn one since seventh grade.

270
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,000
Speaker 1: I got a message from Lindsay on Instagram and she

271
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:55,320
Speaker 1: said women one thousand percent where Giant has pads postpartum

272
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:59,320
Speaker 1: and even thin diapers because you bleed for weeks six weeks,

273
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,880
Speaker 1: six to ten weeks and you can't wear a tampons postpartum,

274
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,200
Speaker 1: So that is true. Actually, when I was doing going

275
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:07,040
Speaker 1: through my egg freezing process, you can't wear tampons either,

276
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:11,520
Speaker 1: So yeah, that was I forgot. I totally forgot about

277
00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,440
Speaker 1: that though. But yeah, it's like a you know, there's

278
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:18,480
Speaker 1: a lot going on down there, um have you? So? Yeah,

279
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,800
Speaker 1: have you ever watched a show called The Bold Type?

280
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:25,240
Speaker 1: I've never heard of me either. So this girl Jamie

281
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,440
Speaker 1: messaged me on Instagram and said, this is very random.

282
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,520
Speaker 1: I'm listening to last Fridays at Casual and I just

283
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,960
Speaker 1: wanted to recommend that you and Chip watched The Bold

284
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,280
Speaker 1: Type on Hulu. The show itself is excellent, but a

285
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,040
Speaker 1: lot of the topics you'll discuss are also tackled and

286
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:41,920
Speaker 1: addressed in the show. It's written very well and just

287
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,000
Speaker 1: overall theme of the show reminds me of you and

288
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,240
Speaker 1: Chips sometimes. So if anybody is, yeah, if you guys

289
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,600
Speaker 1: are enjoying the topics that we discussed, and I think,

290
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,520
Speaker 1: you know, I think what we like to do is

291
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,520
Speaker 1: just talk about topics that can be difficult to talk

292
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,120
Speaker 1: about and maybe not the first thing that you would

293
00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,360
Speaker 1: easily want to bring up to your friends. It sounds

294
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:00,840
Speaker 1: like the show is kind of like that. So it's

295
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,920
Speaker 1: called The Bold Type on Hulu. I think it's worth

296
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:07,480
Speaker 1: looking into. I might do it. That's funny. The actress

297
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:11,160
Speaker 1: Katie Stevens, who's in it, lives in Nashville. Katie Stevens

298
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:15,800
Speaker 1: never heard of you. She married the dude called Giovanni.

299
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:18,400
Speaker 1: I think, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that guy.

300
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:22,560
Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, friends with rage, Like you're listening off

301
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:28,240
Speaker 1: the people we know. She's okay for everyone. It's like

302
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,240
Speaker 1: five seasons long, so yeah, okay, I'm gonna look into

303
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:34,480
Speaker 1: it on Hulu. The only other show I watch on

304
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,760
Speaker 1: Hulu is called Clause and I just started it from

305
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:40,880
Speaker 1: a recommendation from a friend of mine. It's about, um,

306
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:44,320
Speaker 1: these women the nail salon. Yeah they work in a

307
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:46,720
Speaker 1: nail salon, but they have like a drug side hustle,

308
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:51,440
Speaker 1: and it's just funny. They're funny, funny. I haven't watched

309
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,000
Speaker 1: it in a long time, but I know I need

310
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:56,240
Speaker 1: to get back to it. Um. This is from Jessica,

311
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,520
Speaker 1: and this goes back again to the aquatic sex. I'm

312
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:01,240
Speaker 1: telling you people love this topic. So she said, Okay,

313
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:04,000
Speaker 1: so the episode on aquatic sex. Morning sex in the

314
00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:07,080
Speaker 1: shower is legit. My guy wakes up at five thirty

315
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,720
Speaker 1: and I don't see him again until late at night

316
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,639
Speaker 1: because he works all day and coaches football, so nighttime

317
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,800
Speaker 1: sex is hard to say. Awake four these days, I

318
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:18,359
Speaker 1: hear that it is tough. Many mornings, I'll jump in

319
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,720
Speaker 1: the shower with him, soap up, soap him up, and

320
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:25,119
Speaker 1: then he takes me from behind. Sometimes I have to

321
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,080
Speaker 1: be all my tippy toes and it's definitely not like

322
00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:31,480
Speaker 1: long lasting sex, but it's fun. Hot water gets his

323
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:33,879
Speaker 1: blood pumping, and then I crawl back into bed and

324
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,760
Speaker 1: fall asleep until I have to wake up all of

325
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,919
Speaker 1: our kids for school. But Mommy is shirt in a

326
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:39,840
Speaker 1: better mood, come wake up. And I know he often

327
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:42,520
Speaker 1: replays this session in his head throughout his crazy day.

328
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:46,359
Speaker 1: It's worth a shot. I loved that. That sounds fun.

329
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,359
Speaker 1: You've got to figure out what works, especially when kids

330
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,560
Speaker 1: are in the picture, because it's like by the end

331
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,359
Speaker 1: of the day. I mean, my boyfriend and I were

332
00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,199
Speaker 1: actually talking about this yesterday. But it's just like we

333
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:59,480
Speaker 1: are spent, like we're so tired, and as much as

334
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:01,840
Speaker 1: both of us might be like I really want to

335
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:05,199
Speaker 1: like have sex with you, you're just tired, and so

336
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,600
Speaker 1: it makes it like it's just it's it's definitely takes

337
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:12,240
Speaker 1: intention and effort at night, whereas like the morning sometimes

338
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:14,919
Speaker 1: it's a little bit easier. You do have the issue

339
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,080
Speaker 1: of like making sure the kids aren't awake yet, But

340
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,760
Speaker 1: it sounds like her kids sleep in and said that

341
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,359
Speaker 1: sounds like a great job to me. I love morning sex.

342
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:26,800
Speaker 1: I think that's like actually probably my favorite. Well, there's

343
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,240
Speaker 1: something that feels spontaneous about it. I mean, like if

344
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:32,119
Speaker 1: you were doing it every morning, it probably wouldn't but

345
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:35,920
Speaker 1: there's just something about just connecting right in the morning. Yeah,

346
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,320
Speaker 1: I really put your day off to a right start

347
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:42,520
Speaker 1: if you ask me. Okay, so thank you guys again

348
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:44,440
Speaker 1: for the feedback. Those are all the ones I'm gonna

349
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,800
Speaker 1: read today. But we love hearing from me. We love

350
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,560
Speaker 1: hearing about what you guys are enjoying. And if you

351
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:52,119
Speaker 1: have feedback on the topics that you know, it's maybe

352
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,280
Speaker 1: some part that we didn't think of, or that you

353
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,719
Speaker 1: have tips for us, like keep them coming. We love that.

354
00:18:57,080 --> 00:19:00,240
Speaker 1: It's at casual at velvet sedge dot com, her on

355
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:03,040
Speaker 1: Instagram at its edge, and Chip is at chip door,

356
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 1: so you can message any of us or email us

357
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:11,080
Speaker 1: at that address. Okay, So we have a couple of

358
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:14,240
Speaker 1: questions that we want to get to. This one's from Kia.

359
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:18,280
Speaker 1: She says, well, maybe you should do and at casual

360
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,560
Speaker 1: with a guy who has you as his number one.

361
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,800
Speaker 1: He's a good guy but wants his freedom to make

362
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:27,600
Speaker 1: his own decisions and told he and told me now,

363
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:30,760
Speaker 1: he doesn't want to commit to sexual monogamy quite yet,

364
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 1: yet he sees you as his partner in the future.

365
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,879
Speaker 1: Do I walk away or stick it out? So what

366
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,480
Speaker 1: does it? What does it mean when you say is

367
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:43,720
Speaker 1: his number one? So basically, okay, number one, I'm reading

368
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,679
Speaker 1: that's a great question. But I wish I would have

369
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:52,639
Speaker 1: thought to ask her, she said, I said, interesting, Um,

370
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:54,840
Speaker 1: we will discuss this, she said, Okay, it's just because

371
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,959
Speaker 1: being married twenty years and having to be answerable to someone,

372
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:02,480
Speaker 1: but there is freedom and relationships blah blah. So basically

373
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:03,879
Speaker 1: it sounds like this guy just got out of a

374
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:07,600
Speaker 1: long term marriage and he's like maybe really into this girl,

375
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:11,680
Speaker 1: but not feeling like it, doesn't want to lock anything. Yeah,

376
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,719
Speaker 1: Like he's like, I gotta, like, you know, figure my

377
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:20,520
Speaker 1: shit out, which is totally fair, totally Do you have thoughts, Well,

378
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,920
Speaker 1: I mean, look, I think it's you kind of have

379
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,880
Speaker 1: to like read the room when you're in a relationship,

380
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:29,240
Speaker 1: and I'm not everyone's arriving at a relationship at the

381
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:33,560
Speaker 1: same from the same vantage point, and everyone's got some

382
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,560
Speaker 1: sort of baggage. And I don't mean that in a

383
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:40,639
Speaker 1: bad way, like we all just do. And um, you know,

384
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,320
Speaker 1: it's the last thing that I would want to do

385
00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 1: if I had gotten on the twenty year marriage is

386
00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 1: rushed right back into something that might feel exactly like it.

387
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,359
Speaker 1: So but that I also like, if I met somebody

388
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 1: that I really liked, I would want to sort of

389
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 1: invest in that and explore and see where it goes.

390
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 1: But um, you know, I think that you have to

391
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,880
Speaker 1: it's really important to sort of respect, you know, where

392
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 1: somebody is coming from and not try and source it

393
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 1: to be something. And if that isn't doesn't work for you,

394
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,160
Speaker 1: then I think that you have to make the decision

395
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 1: for yourself to not be involved in that, right. I

396
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,399
Speaker 1: think the part that I do like about what it

397
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,480
Speaker 1: sounds like this guy said is that he is just

398
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:23,000
Speaker 1: owning his truth and where he is and um and

399
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:25,680
Speaker 1: being upfront and honest. And I don't especially if he's

400
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,800
Speaker 1: really interested in this girl, like it sounds like he is.

401
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,800
Speaker 1: That would be hard because if you're like, yeah, I

402
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,959
Speaker 1: don't want to just have sex with you yet, that

403
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,520
Speaker 1: might scare her away. So he's going at you know,

404
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:40,119
Speaker 1: he's risking that basically by being honest. So I do

405
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,600
Speaker 1: applaud him for his honesty. And I do think what

406
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 1: you said is true, like you have to take it

407
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 1: at face value, and so you know, I mean that's

408
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 1: essentially this guy is straight up laying it out like, yeah,

409
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go have sex with other people and date

410
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,879
Speaker 1: other people and talk to other people. And so I

411
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 1: think Kara has to decide for herself if that's okay

412
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,320
Speaker 1: with her per only, like I can't do that. So yeah,

413
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:06,000
Speaker 1: I personally couldn't either, But if if I liked the

414
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 1: person enough, I might say, call me when you're done,

415
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 1: like totally and we'll see where. Yeah, if I'm still

416
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,200
Speaker 1: in that place, then I would, you know, happily explore it.

417
00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:24,760
Speaker 1: But I just don't have enough. You know, maybe it

418
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,879
Speaker 1: self worked. I don't know, like I would not be

419
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,919
Speaker 1: comfortable like I would. I would I would think that

420
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,639
Speaker 1: I was on the losing end of the stick the

421
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 1: whole time, and I would have to just sort of

422
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,359
Speaker 1: walk away from that. Well. I think it's like, yeah,

423
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:41,480
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, for me, if I'm having

424
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,719
Speaker 1: sex with someone that feels very vulnerable to me and

425
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 1: I just can't like knowing that they would be doing

426
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,240
Speaker 1: that with other people is too hard for me. But

427
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,680
Speaker 1: I think that also comes from like my personal life

428
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 1: experiences and so like a lot of people can deal

429
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,120
Speaker 1: with that. Maybe she would want to do that herself,

430
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 1: you know. So I think it just depends when her situation,

431
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,679
Speaker 1: what she can tolerate, what is okay with her, what

432
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:06,160
Speaker 1: works for her, and all of that. So that would

433
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 1: be my thought on that question. And I hate being

434
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 1: on the phone. I just like it's so hard because

435
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 1: I feel like you would know that I'm like looking

436
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 1: at you to kind of like, you know, come back

437
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:26,440
Speaker 1: at me and say something else. I feel like I've

438
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 1: said you kind of did. But see I also don't

439
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 1: know how to read the room on that, Like it's

440
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,280
Speaker 1: like I can't see your face, so like I'm like, wait,

441
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,000
Speaker 1: do we move on or does he want to interject

442
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,879
Speaker 1: one more thing? I don't know. It's a guessing game

443
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,160
Speaker 1: over here. Let me see if I can hear your breath,

444
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 1: I mean, because you know when you Yeah, I'm glad

445
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 1: to know that you're not and that you're still listening

446
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 1: on the phone. But I feel like right before people

447
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,120
Speaker 1: talk too, so I'm gonna have to like start listening

448
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 1: to be like is he is he about to talk

449
00:23:56,480 --> 00:24:01,920
Speaker 1: or is he done? Okay, so you're done, so we'll

450
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 1: move on. This next email comes from Elizabeth. It says

451
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 1: it's called the subject of this email is getting butt

452
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:16,639
Speaker 1: hurt over I g tags J The thing about social media,

453
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:18,719
Speaker 1: can we just like before we get into this email,

454
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:24,119
Speaker 1: I swear in my lifetime of social media lifetime, I

455
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 1: guess there have been more people and more friends that

456
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 1: I have piste off unlike inadvertently, like not trying to

457
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:37,440
Speaker 1: at all unintentionally, but you just like do something like this,

458
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 1: like you don't tag somebody in a photo and it's

459
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 1: like your friendship is over. I mean it's just so

460
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 1: insane the weight we give to social media these days.

461
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,959
Speaker 1: I mean the O G was like from her own

462
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:57,119
Speaker 1: the top eight, like yeah, she mentions that they created

463
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,040
Speaker 1: a way for you to alienate all the eight of

464
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:03,920
Speaker 1: your friends, and then even if you were in somebody's

465
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 1: top eight, you're pissed if you weren't first. Right, So

466
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:12,400
Speaker 1: it's so fucked and it's so stupid. I remember there

467
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 1: being at one point that I took out everyone but

468
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 1: my very best friend because I was like, I can't

469
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,440
Speaker 1: deal I can only deal with one. This is too much,

470
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:23,239
Speaker 1: too much pressure, and people get too butt hurt, and

471
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 1: it's just it's for what, Like, it's just so dumb.

472
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:27,959
Speaker 1: I think it's so dumb as an adult to be

473
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,679
Speaker 1: like this is my best friend. It's like I have

474
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 1: a lot of best friends. Actually, I have the only

475
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 1: people in my life really that I consider really good friends.

476
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 1: I would all consider like my best friends. Yeah, because

477
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 1: like when you get older, you don't have time, you know,

478
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,159
Speaker 1: to just have I mean I have acquaintances and I

479
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 1: think I have best friends. That's kind of where I

480
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:52,080
Speaker 1: sit at this point. So the whole thing is so dumb.

481
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 1: But um, yeah, I totally understand what's going on for Elizabeth,

482
00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 1: and it's just like it just sends us into so

483
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 1: many more things. So let's hear her email. Is this

484
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 1: She said, my boyfriend and I started dating before the pandemic.

485
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:10,399
Speaker 1: Then I met the rest of the quote unquote squad pod,

486
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 1: which includes my boyfriend and three couples and another girl.

487
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:20,200
Speaker 1: We got along fine, and everything started and even started bonding.

488
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,919
Speaker 1: That was short lived because then the pandemic hit and

489
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 1: it became evident at me and the squad pod hold

490
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 1: different opinions, which is fine. Not trying to start any

491
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,199
Speaker 1: wars here. For me, it's to each their own, not

492
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:35,400
Speaker 1: trying to convert anyone to my religion or anything. Long

493
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 1: story short, feel like there's been bad blood since we

494
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 1: don't see them as often, but only towards me since

495
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 1: I'm not technically part of the squad pod. They posted it.

496
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:47,919
Speaker 1: First of all, the name squad pod is so ridiculous

497
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 1: it kills Oh my god. They need to get a

498
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 1: new name. Is where I would start out, like pods

499
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 1: of friends or concerts and pods, I guess. But if

500
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,200
Speaker 1: I'm referring to my friend group as a name like

501
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 1: a squad pod, that's the bigger concern to me, that's like,

502
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,119
Speaker 1: this is my squad. Yeah, I mean, or even just whatever,

503
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 1: it's squad, No knows. Well, it's too okay. Um, they

504
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 1: posted a picture we had all taken and tact everyone

505
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,359
Speaker 1: but me, and yeah they had my handle and blah

506
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 1: blah blah, So that's not an excuse. I feel like

507
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 1: this is back when my space had top friends and

508
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 1: people got but hurt about not making it or getting

509
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:35,159
Speaker 1: removed anyway. It just seemed like an intentional exclusion. Maybe

510
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,399
Speaker 1: I'm being a petty bitch, but it just kind of sucks.

511
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,200
Speaker 1: I've tried to be nice and that casual and often

512
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:42,920
Speaker 1: asked my boyfriend about them to get involved, and even

513
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 1: offered to do stuff virtually, but for them, it's all

514
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 1: or nothing, and it's just a shitty feeling to be

515
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:52,120
Speaker 1: made like I'm doing something bad when I'm just doing

516
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 1: what I feel like. It's protecting the safety of me

517
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,160
Speaker 1: and my family and my friends, and I don't feel

518
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,439
Speaker 1: like I just should have to apologize for that. I

519
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 1: don't know. You and Ship have talked about different having

520
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,680
Speaker 1: different opinions, at least in the beginning, but still remain

521
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 1: good friends. Why can't everyone be like you guys, we

522
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:13,440
Speaker 1: do we have different opinions. Well, I think we talked

523
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: about like that quarantying. Well in politics, we don't, but

524
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 1: I just never talked about it. Doesn't want people to

525
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 1: come at me, no, but we've talked about how we

526
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 1: have friends that have different opinions. We just try to

527
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:31,120
Speaker 1: avoid those topics sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do think

528
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 1: remember at the beginning of Quarantine too, I was like isolating,

529
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 1: super super super hardcore, and that we did talk about

530
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:39,800
Speaker 1: that that some of our friends are giving me ship

531
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:42,719
Speaker 1: because it was like and I said, well, if I

532
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 1: was single and I didn't have a squad pod, if

533
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 1: you will, I would totally be probably living my life differently.

534
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:55,000
Speaker 1: But like I was in a situation where I felt

535
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 1: like I just was going to isolate and try to

536
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 1: protect those people that I was like living with, you know,

537
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 1: and you guys were kind of moving around a little more.

538
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 1: The funny thing being, of course that I got COVID

539
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:13,320
Speaker 1: and isn't like, um okay. So my first thoughts for

540
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 1: Elizabeth is, first of all, these people sound just ridiculous

541
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 1: to me. Like I know it's her boyfriend's friends, but

542
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 1: like I don't think she's missing out that much by

543
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 1: not getting to hang out with a squad pod. They

544
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 1: sound terrible to me? Is that bad? Yeah? Like if

545
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 1: you can't be open enough to let in another adult

546
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 1: have their own opinion, Like that's on you at this

547
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 1: point because you're living some life like just with blinders

548
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 1: on that your way is the right way, that that's

549
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 1: the only way that should work, and all of that stuff,

550
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 1: and I don't think that works as adults. I wonder

551
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 1: if there's some sort of inner politics going on that

552
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 1: she doesn't know about, such as like like one of

553
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 1: the girls actually likes her boyfriend, like that one other

554
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 1: girl ship. Yeah, like that there's just something that she's

555
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 1: not aware of that mauld be one, you know, could

556
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 1: be what I think probably from what I'm picking up

557
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 1: is that she sounds like maybe she wants to isolate

558
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 1: a little harder, and maybe he's not getting to hang

559
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 1: out with them as much because of that or just

560
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 1: because of you know whatever, and said they're blaming her

561
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 1: and not him. But it's like, at the end of

562
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 1: the day, he's a fucking adult too, and he's a

563
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:28,520
Speaker 1: big boy, like he can make his own decisions. So

564
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 1: he's choosing to do whatever it is he's choosing. It's

565
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 1: not on Elizabeth. Why. I also think too, it's like,

566
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 1: you know, we're not living in normal circumstances right now.

567
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 1: It's right we should be giving people a little bit

568
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 1: of grace. I mean, I not not to like change

569
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 1: the subject. I think this is sort of like um

570
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 1: in line with what we're talking about. But like, when

571
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 1: I got home, my sister was like, hey, so our

572
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 1: cousin Rebecca wants to like, she wants to see you.

573
00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 1: Her birthday is coming up in December nineteenth, and let's

574
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 1: all get together and we're you know, she's gonna hire

575
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:05,720
Speaker 1: her chef, we're gonna go to our friend's house and

576
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. And I'm like, kay, that's a lot

577
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 1: of people I'm staying with. I'm staying with her parents.

578
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 1: And she looked at me like I don't want to

579
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 1: have any fun, you know, And I'm like, of course

580
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 1: I want to see all of those people, but it's

581
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 1: that the smart thing to do. So I have to

582
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 1: basically tell my cousin, no, I'm not doing that. Like

583
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 1: I would love to see her on her birthday, but

584
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 1: I can't go to some big dinner party not when

585
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 1: I have to come home to my parents house totally.

586
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,480
Speaker 1: And like that's where I think we really do all

587
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 1: have to take a step back and say, you have

588
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 1: to make the best decision for you. Because also right now,

589
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 1: I don't feel like anyone actually knows what the quote

590
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 1: unquote right thing to do is fully, Like, I mean,

591
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,720
Speaker 1: we can all get advice in certain areas that like

592
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 1: even the doctors, even like the experts like there it's

593
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 1: kind of constantly changing all this stuff with coronavirus, and

594
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 1: so you know, while some may operate a certain way,

595
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 1: others may feel more comfortable with certain things, and like

596
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 1: I hate it on some levels, but I do think

597
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:09,600
Speaker 1: that it's like, Okay, well you kind of just have

598
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 1: to like take a step back and go I can

599
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 1: only control myself, and so I'm gonna make the best

600
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:17,080
Speaker 1: decisions for me. So um, So I don't think she's

601
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,720
Speaker 1: doing anything wrong by like voicing her opinion, as long

602
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 1: as she's not like forcing it on them, which it

603
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like she is. Um. The other thing though,

604
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 1: is like with the tack, I understand completely why she

605
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 1: got butt hurt. It's silly like we all kind of

606
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 1: have to just go whatever and that's again though it

607
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 1: feels like it's all about them and they're immaturity not hers,

608
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like, seriously, your quote unquote

609
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 1: squad pod is not going to tag me on purpose,

610
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 1: Like and maybe they did it unintentionally, but like even

611
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 1: if they whatever whatever happened, the fact that they forgot

612
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 1: or that they just didn't it's just like, Okay, you

613
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 1: guys are showing me your true colors. Like, and I

614
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 1: just don't think that speaks about anything about her, And

615
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 1: I think she just has to write it off for

616
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 1: that absolutely. Yeah. Can you can you go in and

617
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 1: tag somebody after the fact? Yeah you can. I mean, look,

618
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 1: I'm always happy when people don't tag me. Why well,

619
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 1: because I don't need the world knowing my moves. Mr

620
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 1: sneaky over this, I don't need the world knowing my moves.

621
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 1: Like what are your moves that you don't want the

622
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 1: world to know about? Tell the world now on this podcast.

623
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,360
Speaker 1: And it's not like I'm like some international man of mystery.

624
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 1: But it's an't normally like when I when I post,

625
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 1: like I'm when I'm choosing to post something, it's about

626
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 1: you know, me sharing with the world. What I'm doing, um,

627
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 1: somebody else sharing it. Well, I've untagged myself and multiple things.

628
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you can untag yourself? Yes, are you joking?

629
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. I'm the queen of that. Oh

630
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 1: my god. I'll teach you one day. I'll teach you.

631
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 1: The way is because the alert people. If you want yourself,

632
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't care. Let's just show them.

633
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,280
Speaker 1: So what's this girl's name that we're talking about again.

634
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 1: This girl's name is Elizabeth. Elizabeth should go in and

635
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:20,719
Speaker 1: just tag herself. You can't can't, well, you can't tag yourself,

636
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,319
Speaker 1: but she should go into the comments section and just

637
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:28,719
Speaker 1: tag her handle like at Elizabeth whatever, like whatever her

638
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 1: handle is and that, and just keep doing it. Every

639
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 1: time that they stop or that they don't do it. That. Hey,

640
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 1: that's her advice. Actually, just go at them. If they're

641
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 1: going to be like this, you just start tagging yourself

642
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 1: in the comments section. Eventually they'll have to own up

643
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 1: or they'll get the picture and they'll start tagging you. Yeah.

644
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 1: I heard it here first on that casual. We're just

645
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:52,839
Speaker 1: giving out great advice daily weekly. Excuse me, I don't

646
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,799
Speaker 1: even know what I'm saying. Anymore. Um, okay, Chip, you

647
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 1: sent me a really interesting article and we wanted to

648
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 1: quickly talk through that. It was called people over forty

649
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:04,480
Speaker 1: five are at greater risk of S t I S

650
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 1: A new study funds. This is going to sound very

651
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 1: ignorant and I should have googled this before. What's the difference.

652
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:14,399
Speaker 1: What's the difference between s t I and STD? It's

653
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:17,319
Speaker 1: just the new, um And the reason why I know

654
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:19,719
Speaker 1: this because my doctor said it, and the last time

655
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:23,279
Speaker 1: I saw it's just the new like ways, there is

656
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 1: no difference, it's just what they're calling it. They used

657
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,720
Speaker 1: to be called narial diseases and then they started calling

658
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 1: them I mean not that like STDs are great, but

659
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 1: like right, they are changed to sexually transmitted diseases, and

660
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:41,000
Speaker 1: now they call them sexually transmitted infections. I hate the word.

661
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:44,200
Speaker 1: And it's just that it's just a different term because

662
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 1: I mean, truthfully, most of them can be cured, so

663
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:55,760
Speaker 1: they're not necessarily diseases. Okay, Well, so basically the gist

664
00:35:55,760 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 1: of the article is that, um, these sexually transmitted infects

665
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:04,720
Speaker 1: ENDS are very high and middle aged adults, and there

666
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:06,920
Speaker 1: they were trying to figure out why for a while

667
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:09,279
Speaker 1: but it says that a lot of people around the

668
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:12,200
Speaker 1: age of like forty five, and maybe this is you know,

669
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 1: people going through divorces, because I think this is a

670
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:17,839
Speaker 1: that's a big age range for that where I would

671
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 1: imagine like late thirties into your forties, a lot of

672
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 1: people start getting divorced. And so then you're after a

673
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:27,840
Speaker 1: long term monogamous relationship, you are now back in the

674
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 1: dating field, so you know, maybe you're not used to it.

675
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 1: Things have also changed. So if you've been in a

676
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:36,759
Speaker 1: like decade long relationship or even like a twenty year marriage,

677
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:40,080
Speaker 1: I mean, the dating game is so different. And I

678
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,919
Speaker 1: actually think that s t I s are probably way

679
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:47,880
Speaker 1: more prevalent now than they were back in those that time.

680
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:52,840
Speaker 1: And you know, for for women to like later in life,

681
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:56,319
Speaker 1: you know, your post menopausal, so that you know a

682
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:58,879
Speaker 1: lot of you know, when these people were younger, they

683
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:02,279
Speaker 1: were using condoms not to prevent s t i s.

684
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,880
Speaker 1: They were using them for pregnancy. And now that pregnancy

685
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:09,439
Speaker 1: isn't an issue, A condom isn't even a thought, right,

686
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:13,360
Speaker 1: So you're just going into these situations like, hey, I

687
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 1: can't get pregnant game one because like common suck, I mean,

688
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 1: it's not like they're fun so but so that's what

689
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 1: what this article said was that um, where was there

690
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:27,160
Speaker 1: was a statistic? I wanted to because I thought it

691
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 1: was just so interesting. But anyway, Yeah, basically it just

692
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:33,720
Speaker 1: says that the over forty five are most at risk,

693
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 1: generally those entering new relationships after a period of monogamy,

694
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 1: often post menopause, and pregnancy is no longer a consideration.

695
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:46,040
Speaker 1: But giving little thought to s T I S, did

696
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:49,040
Speaker 1: you find some more research? She said? Yeah, I mean, look,

697
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 1: there's I found stories on double A RP on U

698
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 1: S News and world reports. This is like a thing. Yeah, yeah,

699
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 1: it's a thing. And this is this is um. This

700
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:02,919
Speaker 1: is an article from Harvard UM. They wrote why there

701
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:06,359
Speaker 1: are increases and this is UM. I can't even begin

702
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:09,440
Speaker 1: to pronounce the doctor's last name. It's like deal if

703
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 1: d I O U F said, these are some of

704
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,879
Speaker 1: the points as to why they think that it's we're

705
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:19,320
Speaker 1: seeing increases in older adults. They often don't get STD

706
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,840
Speaker 1: screen and this is they're so calling STDs here, But

707
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 1: they often don't get STD screenings and treatment because both

708
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:28,800
Speaker 1: they and their doctors are reluctantly reluctant to raise the issue.

709
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 1: There are immune systems lose some ability to fight off

710
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 1: disease with age, so it's harder to fight infections. They

711
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 1: may start dating more than one partner after divorce or

712
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:40,760
Speaker 1: the death of a partner, raising the risk of infection

713
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 1: after a long term period of monogamy. Compared with previous generations,

714
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 1: they have an easier time having sex at an older

715
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 1: age thanks to the availability of medications too BIA grow.

716
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:54,799
Speaker 1: They are not accustomed to thinking of themselves are a

717
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,799
Speaker 1: partner as being at high risk of STDs. They may

718
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 1: not be accustomed to using a condom and use one

719
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 1: because they think that they are their partners are not

720
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 1: at risk of STDs, and they may not consider oral

721
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:12,399
Speaker 1: or anal sex as ways of contrasting or transmitting STDs. Yeah,

722
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 1: the oral sex part is another thing that's huge, I

723
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:18,440
Speaker 1: think because that I know, for our generation is a

724
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:21,759
Speaker 1: very prevalent thing, but I don't know that it was

725
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:25,440
Speaker 1: as common or I mean, I've heard I've read statistics

726
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 1: about that that this the rise of oral sex has

727
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,720
Speaker 1: majorly come. I think that was like a porn thing,

728
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,439
Speaker 1: it was, you know, our generation is just way more

729
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:37,720
Speaker 1: open to that or involved in that, and so maybe

730
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: they don't understand even that that is another way to pass.

731
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 1: I keep wanting to stay STDs, but S T I

732
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 1: S Yeah. Yeah, so interesting. If you if you had

733
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:54,279
Speaker 1: to take a guess on the top five states on

734
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:58,640
Speaker 1: STD or STI prevalence and older, what would you say?

735
00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:01,440
Speaker 1: I mean, I would always lean towards a bigger place,

736
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 1: But but now I'm second get I was going to

737
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:07,239
Speaker 1: say like La or New York City, but probably those

738
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 1: people are way more um educated on this topic, so

739
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with like, I don't know. I was

740
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:20,719
Speaker 1: going to try to say something like Montana. Well, no,

741
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 1: I think you're you're well, that's so funny. So Montana

742
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:31,920
Speaker 1: actually has is the highest increase really from two This

743
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 1: is a study from a site called the Senior List

744
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:38,759
Speaker 1: dot com. From two thousand and eight to two thousand seventeen,

745
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 1: adults fifty five and over, the percentage of STD prevalence

746
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:50,920
Speaker 1: increased two hundred and seventy percent. Yeah, it's Montana, Wyoming, Iowa,

747
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,879
Speaker 1: Vermont in North Dakota, which is really interesting because they

748
00:40:53,920 --> 00:41:00,480
Speaker 1: are really really like not very densely populated, where as

749
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:04,320
Speaker 1: when you look at the average STD prevalence of older

750
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 1: just prevalence. DC has the highest for their rate is

751
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 1: people per one hundred thousand. New York State is number two, Maryland, Florida,

752
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 1: New Jersey, and Georgia. Yeah, which I think those states

753
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:27,040
Speaker 1: are heavily popular about older people anyway, California follows Georgia. Um,

754
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,440
Speaker 1: really interesting. It's so interesting. I mean, I think the

755
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:35,680
Speaker 1: whole point is too, is like how important those conversations

756
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:38,120
Speaker 1: are at the beginning of the relationship, and they're so

757
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 1: awkward and uncomfortable, but as adults, and especially as we age,

758
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 1: it just becomes even more uh important to be able

759
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:51,400
Speaker 1: to even have those conversations. Also, it's a really good

760
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:53,680
Speaker 1: I think it's really good insight into how you guys

761
00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 1: can communicate openly as adults, which is also something you

762
00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:00,319
Speaker 1: would want to know for anyone you're dating anyway. Well,

763
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,840
Speaker 1: I would also think too, there's probably I mean, granted,

764
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 1: like I'm now forty five fall into this age range

765
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 1: weird to me, but I'm thinking probably more like fifty

766
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:13,319
Speaker 1: five and older. But you know, they probably as a

767
00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:17,720
Speaker 1: generational thing, sex is not something that was really talking about,

768
00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 1: so to think about like now you're fifty plus and

769
00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 1: you're starting to date again, like talking about sex no way,

770
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:30,719
Speaker 1: you know, it's like it's almost like you're just more

771
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 1: willing to take their risk. And I also think too,

772
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:35,520
Speaker 1: if you're just completely like ignorant to the fact that

773
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 1: the risk exists, then why would you talk about why

774
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 1: would you even bother talking about it? So I think,

775
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:45,080
Speaker 1: I like, I love. The reason why that article popped

776
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 1: out to me is because it never really like crossed

777
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:50,880
Speaker 1: my mind. So, um, you know, I guess it's a

778
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 1: good thing that people are starting to write about a

779
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 1: little bit more so that you know, it does become

780
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 1: a conversation. Absolutely. Knowledge is always power, especially when it

781
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 1: comes to your body. I think, so, um, educate yourselves,

782
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:04,560
Speaker 1: especially if you're getting out of a long term relationship

783
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:06,279
Speaker 1: and you're new to the dating world. I think that's

784
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,880
Speaker 1: super super important to get up to speed on the

785
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 1: things happening in the dating culture at this point. Yeah,

786
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,799
Speaker 1: I guess I'll have to, you know, when we hang off,

787
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:17,879
Speaker 1: I'll'll have a conversation with my parents to make sure

788
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:21,320
Speaker 1: that you know, if they if they're ever going to

789
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:23,360
Speaker 1: dabble outside, that they take care of Why don't you

790
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:25,920
Speaker 1: just wait to get like crossovers when you get there, like,

791
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 1: why would you ever bring that up to your parents

792
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 1: and be like, just in case, let me sit you

793
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 1: guys down and yeah, we um, we have one more

794
00:43:39,239 --> 00:43:41,480
Speaker 1: thing I want to address, and that's a big announcement

795
00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:46,480
Speaker 1: that Chip and I have. We have officially officially set

796
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:52,320
Speaker 1: up our cameo. So I haven't No, I haven't announced

797
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 1: it yet so I mean I haven't even posted about

798
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 1: it or anything, but we are officially on our cameo.

799
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:02,800
Speaker 1: You can search are we at cash will? I totally great?

800
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 1: This is why we suck. This is like I was

801
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 1: also thinking, like, how the hell are we going to

802
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:10,920
Speaker 1: do them while I'm in Virginia? So we might have

803
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 1: to have people wait I don't. Well, let's see if

804
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 1: anyone actually buys one first, that's true before the horse. Yeah. Um,

805
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 1: so you guys can search at casual. If that doesn't work,

806
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:27,080
Speaker 1: search my name Kelly Henderson or Chip Doors. It'll come

807
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:30,960
Speaker 1: up something. But we would love to send out any

808
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 1: like holiday wishes, birthday cards. We said we will answer

809
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,319
Speaker 1: sex and dating questions. Chip try to say that we

810
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 1: will break up with people. I'm really not into that idea. No,

811
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 1: I don't want to do anything. I mean, we don't

812
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:49,919
Speaker 1: want to. I'll do anything for money. Oh whoa sell

813
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 1: some feet picks. Maybe you need the wiki feet page. Um. Yeah,

814
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:56,760
Speaker 1: but you guys surprise us with funny questions or whatever

815
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,320
Speaker 1: it is you want us to say or do. We're open.

816
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,239
Speaker 1: We're just kind of interested in this experience we are.

817
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:07,160
Speaker 1: We have no clue what we're doing we have. Yeah,

818
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 1: it should be fun though, so search us on cameo

819
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:12,320
Speaker 1: and then always keep these emails coming. It's at casual

820
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:15,480
Speaker 1: at velvet edge dot com. Sex and dating questions or

821
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 1: just any so sort of questions that you guys have

822
00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:21,320
Speaker 1: about situations that are maybe not so casual or awkward.

823
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:23,840
Speaker 1: How to handle them? We love talking about that stuff,

824
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:27,760
Speaker 1: so keep them coming at casual at velvets edge dot com.

825
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 1: I'm Velvet's Edge on Instagram. Chip is at chip doorsh Chip,

826
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:34,560
Speaker 1: do you have any remarks you want to sign off

827
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 1: with this week a casual. I wasn't ready. I wasn't

828
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:49,319
Speaker 1: ready for that. It wasn't you. I know, I kind

829
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:50,920
Speaker 1: of I kind of thought that might be where you

830
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:52,839
Speaker 1: were going, but I wasn't ready to just flow right

831
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 1: out of it. I don't know, I just like it

832
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 1: felt to we have this like look like I can

833
00:45:57,520 --> 00:46:00,920
Speaker 1: tell when like you're throwing it to me. Right. This

834
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 1: is like the problem with the phone interview. This is

835
00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 1: how I've been doing all my interviews during the pandemic,

836
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:09,879
Speaker 1: and it really like it's really tricky. You would think

837
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:12,160
Speaker 1: I gotten better, but like I still don't think I

838
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 1: have I have with strangers, but I think with you

839
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:19,480
Speaker 1: we have such a like banswer and a normal like

840
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 1: we understand each other's facial expressions, and so that makes

841
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:27,319
Speaker 1: the tricky ye. Anyway, you guys have a great weekend, um,

842
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:29,960
Speaker 1: chip enjoy Virginia. I'm going to go out to the

843
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:33,319
Speaker 1: farm this weekend. Keep living that farm life, which you know,

844
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:35,719
Speaker 1: for me is a huge way to always remember to

845
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:40,360
Speaker 1: I mean, that wasn't all right. I don't know, okay,

846
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 1: but we gotta go