1 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's looking to compete with Disneyland 2 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:12,960 Speaker 1: with a new theme park called Q World, where every 3 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:17,120 Speaker 1: attraction is the line itself. Oh oh, I thought it 4 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 1: was like the letter Q. We're just standing in line, mom. 5 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,960 Speaker 1: Can we write it again? That one was three hours. Yay. 6 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:30,040 Speaker 2: It's Q World, the lineiest place on Earth bathroom brought 7 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:33,000 Speaker 2: to you by Laser Stories, the segment where we read 8 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,319 Speaker 2: weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, 9 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:36,640 Speaker 2: except we've got a laser. 10 00:00:37,479 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 1: Those other fast pass fascists don't. This first laser story 11 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: is out of Connecticut. A twenty eight year old man 12 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 1: named Logan Mozafari was pulled over in the early morning 13 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:50,519 Speaker 1: after cops spotted him speeding down the highway at more 14 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 1: than one hundred and thirty miles an hour. Whoaah, Yeah, 15 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,280 Speaker 1: that's a quick way to get noticed by the police. 16 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 1: When they talk to him, it was clear that he'd 17 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:05,080 Speaker 1: been drinking. He slurred his speech, his eyes were glassy, 18 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:10,520 Speaker 1: and he wreaked of alcohol. Nobody got tempting by calling 19 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:14,040 Speaker 1: an uber left yeah before he took the field sobriety test. 20 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,759 Speaker 1: One of the cops asked Logan why he was speeding, 21 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 1: and he immediately burst into tears because apparently he said 22 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 1: he was rushing home to see his cat, Toby cat 23 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 1: dad was a cat sick or injured. No, no, he 24 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:36,040 Speaker 1: just missed him. He probably didn't even notice owner was gone. Yeah, 25 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,040 Speaker 1: I know. But the owners. Yeah, the owners in jail 26 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 1: for a couple of days, and the cat's like, yo, 27 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,319 Speaker 1: that's fine. According to the report, Logan had been at 28 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,880 Speaker 1: the bar for quite a while where someone told a 29 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 1: story about their cat, and for some reason that stirred 30 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 1: something inside of him, so he leapt into his car 31 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 1: to get home. The rest is history. I've legit been 32 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:57,720 Speaker 1: out with people that are like, I'm sorry, guys, I'm 33 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:00,400 Speaker 1: gonna go home. It's been three hours. I'm just see 34 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 1: my dog. Like those people also have children too, but 35 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 1: they're dog. Yes. This next Lazer story is out of 36 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:11,720 Speaker 1: the Hollywood Hangouts. The fifth and final season of Stranger 37 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 1: Things hits Netflix sometime this year. Oh my god, is 38 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,120 Speaker 1: this like fifteen years in the making. Yeah, but the 39 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 1: creators of the show aren't leaving the world of the 40 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 1: supernatural once it's over. Really, they're working on another show 41 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:28,760 Speaker 1: called The Burrows, which sounds a lot like stranger things. 42 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 1: But with old people it's fallen and I can get out. 43 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,919 Speaker 2: Well, there's a big like remember there was like Cocoon 44 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:40,840 Speaker 2: and that was about old people in aliens. 45 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,360 Speaker 1: The thing is creators aren't really denying it. It's about 46 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 1: quote a group of misfits who fight an otherworldly evil. 47 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 1: But it's set in a retirement community. I agree. And 48 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,760 Speaker 1: what I am about to tell you is reel the 49 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,880 Speaker 1: kids on bikes. You know where the stranger things thing 50 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,639 Speaker 1: this one. Old people are going to be getting away 51 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 1: from Dan's on their golf carts. E soup those up 52 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: if you're gonna go fast up. They've already chosen some 53 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 1: of the cast and there are some big names in 54 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 1: the lineup, Alfrey Woodard, Gena Davis and Bill Pullman. Oh 55 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 1: my gosh, so it should be a banger. Yeah, I'm 56 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,040 Speaker 1: sure the fights will happen after five PM. One of 57 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:23,720 Speaker 1: the first things that one of them just dies of 58 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 1: natural causes. Scary. They still call it supernatural. This next 59 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 1: laser story is out of the update on the polls update, 60 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 1: A recent poll was done that asked two thousand single 61 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:41,080 Speaker 1: people to name the sexiest jobs in twenty twenty five. 62 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 1: They broke it down by industry. Oh, I'm sure radio 63 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 1: host is going to be with always. Let's hear the 64 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 1: top ones. Number five tech people. I know it, I 65 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 1: know it. Things like data analysts and I are climbing 66 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: up the chart because the world craves more tech nerds, 67 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 1: knowing that they could become the next billionaires. And they're smart, 68 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,960 Speaker 1: like people like smart. They have terrible fashion sense. I'm 69 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 1: sorry if I see one more fleece vests. Literally is 70 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 1: a stylist for tech nerds. She's like, look it, I'm 71 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 1: gonna put you in something besides a black teacher. There's 72 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:26,239 Speaker 1: a round one, number four on the list. Lawyers. Okay, 73 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,839 Speaker 1: I can see that. Yeah, I think we all can agree. 74 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 1: It's sexy when you can ask the judge if you'll 75 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 1: badger the witness. Number three sexiest job, according to a 76 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 1: new poll, is first responders. 77 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah, because they help people and. 78 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 1: They have those hot like sometimes zip up ones eaes. 79 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:49,680 Speaker 1: You know that they jump into like less close on 80 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: them than more firefighters, cops, paramedics all ripping their shirts 81 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:56,720 Speaker 1: off to help stop the blood loss. Yeah, we are 82 00:04:56,760 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 1: all about that on this show. Number two teacher, Okay, well, 83 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 1: I mean there's always been like that teacher fantasy situation. Yeah, sorry, 84 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,679 Speaker 1: it's a disclaimer. Teachers, but only the ones with giant 85 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 1: glasses and great hair. Yeah, it's a very exclusive club. Yes, 86 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 1: I just wearing stockings to come teach you. Yeah, like 87 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:24,359 Speaker 1: what they have the two foot long yardsticks slapping the 88 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:31,160 Speaker 1: paying attention, and the guys is getting hot in hair. 89 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:35,400 Speaker 1: Actually it's a bun with a pencil. Do we all 90 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:38,200 Speaker 1: go to the same school. I couldn't afford to go 91 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,680 Speaker 1: to your school. And the number one sexiest job of 92 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:46,159 Speaker 1: them all doctors. How could you not be attracted to 93 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,240 Speaker 1: someone who just looked you directly in the eyes and 94 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:52,480 Speaker 1: told you they were going to amputate? I had a 95 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 1: hot doctor once. It was you want me to call? 96 00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:01,359 Speaker 1: Your next lazer story is out of Florida. A woman 97 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,080 Speaker 1: on santabel Island was frantic when she called nine one 98 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 1: one for help. We don't know her identity, but it's 99 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 1: pretty safe to assume her name may have been April 100 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:13,080 Speaker 1: O'Neill because she was calling about a turtle that had 101 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:19,920 Speaker 1: been stuck in the sewer, and she wasn't drunk or 102 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:23,240 Speaker 1: on anything. She was genuinely worried about the little guy. 103 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:28,480 Speaker 1: She'd even phone three different animal rescue organizations after spotting 104 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 1: the turtle underneath a grate in the road, but no 105 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,919 Speaker 1: one was coming to help, so she turned to fire 106 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:43,920 Speaker 1: and rescue. Firefighters reported to the scene within the hour 107 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,360 Speaker 1: because they're so sexy, and two of the men lowered 108 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 1: the third guy headfirst down into the small shaft. Dude, 109 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,239 Speaker 1: they're dedicated. You managed to reach the little green dude 110 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:59,280 Speaker 1: and pull him out to safety. The turtle was not 111 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,919 Speaker 1: armed with unchucks or samurai sortz. Disappointing. He did not 112 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,560 Speaker 1: have pizza stains on his shell either, jeh. But he 113 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,600 Speaker 1: did get a new name. Apparently the neighborhood kids who 114 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 1: were watching wanted to call him mister Pickles because he'd 115 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 1: gotten himself into such a pickle. How would you not 116 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:26,680 Speaker 1: go with Michael Angelo Leonardo Donello. Okay, I think the 117 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 1: name is obviously proof you should never let children name anything. 118 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 1: Thank you jood job kiddos. But mister Pickles was treated 119 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 1: and will be returned back to the wild shortly so 120 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: that he can meet up again with this guy. Just 121 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 1: to think of all the adventure stories and the shoes 122 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 1: that they could share together. A half shell, Oh, Yeah, 123 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,760 Speaker 1: stories has come to an end for the day. We'll 124 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,680 Speaker 1: do it again the same time on Wednesday, Brook and 125 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: Jeffrey in the morning.