WEBVTT - “I MISS BEATING PEOPLE UP” 0:00:02.440 --> 0:00:05.120 Hello, Hello, Hello? Is this gek? Yeah? 0:00:05.360 --> 0:00:07.400 Who is this? Hey? 0:00:07.400 --> 0:00:08.039 What's up? Gek? 0:00:08.280 --> 0:00:10.479 My name's Andrew, Andrew? What's going on? Man? 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:15.320 Okay? So I guess I'll just start where I tested you. 0:00:15.800 --> 0:00:18.680 So I'm thirty four now, which you know, I mean, 0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:23.000 great midlife crisis or whatever. I came up from a 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:27.040 pretty bad situation, broken home, drug addiction, all that stuff. 0:00:27.760 --> 0:00:31.120 And as I've progressed in my life, I've kind of 0:00:31.680 --> 0:00:35.080 straightened it all out. But I find myself in like 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:39.760 bouts of depression and just absolute boredom. The mundane day 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:44.440 to day is like it's killing my soul. Yeah, yeah, 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:46.599 in spite of the exciting life that I used to have. 0:00:46.760 --> 0:00:49.720 You know, well, how excited I mean? And you'll, you know, 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:52.519 only you can truthfully answer this question, But how exciting 0:00:52.640 --> 0:00:53.160 was it? Really? 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:59.360 I mean, so, just as an example, some of the 0:00:59.440 --> 0:01:03.360 escapades or whatever that I was getting into, I kind 0:01:03.360 --> 0:01:07.480 of had like a violent streak back then, so like 0:01:07.560 --> 0:01:10.080 I would definitely get like a fix of adrenaline on 0:01:10.120 --> 0:01:12.200 a regular basis when I was doing drugs. 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:14.440 Would you say a violent streak like you. 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:18.080 Were like I was like clubbing people with tire irons, 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:22.160 like it was it was pretty okay, pretty bad. Okay, 0:01:23.520 --> 0:01:25.800 thankfully I was one of those people that just wouldn't 0:01:25.800 --> 0:01:27.920 take a plea deal. So I don't have a criminal. 0:01:27.640 --> 0:01:33.480 Record now, Oh there we go. Wait, so when you say, 0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:36.440 don't you know, when you say you didn't take a 0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:37.440 plea deal, what does that mean? 0:01:39.040 --> 0:01:41.120 I mean, I was arrested for a lot of this stuff, 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:43.759 but I refused to take whatever plea deal that they 0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:45.920 were trying to throw at me in California. And when 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:47.560 I was trying to take it to court, they would 0:01:47.560 --> 0:01:51.919 always find some way of either expunging or stealing the record. 0:01:54.000 --> 0:01:56.920 Is it though that? Yeah, go ahead, I'll say my 0:01:57.000 --> 0:01:57.640 questions to the end. 0:01:58.320 --> 0:02:00.800 Oh no, that's fine. Yeah. I was just saying, like, 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:04.040 so with the being sealed and stuff, my my record's 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:07.120 actually pretty pristine in spite of everything that I was doing. 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:13.840 And how long have you been clean from meth? For? 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:15.640 Uh? 0:02:15.720 --> 0:02:17.840 It has got to be about fourteen years now. I 0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:21.680 really didn't keep track, but I want to say the 0:02:21.720 --> 0:02:25.760 last time that I can't do math, I was twenty 0:02:25.760 --> 0:02:29.640 four when I stopped, so it's been almost ten years, 0:02:29.680 --> 0:02:31.520 I guess. 0:02:32.600 --> 0:02:36.080 And when you say when you when you use the 0:02:36.080 --> 0:02:40.560 phrase excitement, are you referring to like all the all 0:02:40.560 --> 0:02:44.720 the crazy stuff you were doing ten years ago? Oh? 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:47.040 Absolutely yeah? 0:02:47.080 --> 0:02:49.880 But now in the in in the past ten years, 0:02:49.880 --> 0:02:54.440 has anything given you, uh, you know, as much, if 0:02:54.480 --> 0:02:58.440 not more excitement than clubbing someone with a tire iron? 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:04.560 Really, if I'm being fully honest about it, not, really, 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:08.640 I've found myself just being really bored. I mean, I 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:16.000 went from basically a borderline poverty to I'm making about 0:03:16.000 --> 0:03:17.920 one hundred and twenty five thousand dollars a year now 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:21.560 running my own business, and I still haven't found anything 0:03:21.560 --> 0:03:24.840 that really brings me a sense of passion. 0:03:25.160 --> 0:03:27.880 I guess, what do you do? 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:32.200 So? I actually have a dog walking business that I 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:33.960 didn't think was going to turn out to be as 0:03:34.000 --> 0:03:39.240 big as it did. But since I'm primarily working in 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:43.400 affluent areas, I'm able to kind of overcharge, and it 0:03:44.680 --> 0:03:46.720 honestly took off to a point that I wasn't expecting 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:46.960 it to. 0:03:47.680 --> 0:03:49.840 Can I ask what city or inner state. 0:03:51.280 --> 0:03:53.840 I am near, Palm Beach Island, Florida. 0:03:54.160 --> 0:03:57.480 Okay, And what's your family life like? Do you have 0:03:57.520 --> 0:03:58.840 a girlfriend or anything like that. 0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:05.120 I'm I've had a series of long term relationships that 0:04:05.240 --> 0:04:09.640 just didn't work out. So currently, No, I'm single actually 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:14.920 for the first time in yeah, and since I was seventeen. 0:04:15.320 --> 0:04:18.440 I'm actually like single and have been remaining so on purpose. 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:23.479 And then my family life is kind of touchy. It's 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:26.719 just my family started off with the drug thing and 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:28.480 then I just kind of picked it up later as 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:31.400 I got older, So it took me years to kind 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:32.760 of get to a point where I would bridge that 0:04:32.800 --> 0:04:38.040 gap with them. 0:04:38.360 --> 0:04:43.640 So you've been cleaning sober for ten ten years? And 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:46.440 have you been when did you set the dog walking business. 0:04:48.279 --> 0:04:49.360 About seven years back? 0:04:50.440 --> 0:04:52.720 Okay, so have you just been bored for ten years 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:55.120 since you stopped doing all that stuff? 0:04:56.240 --> 0:04:59.720 Honestly? Yeah, you know, my day to day, like I 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:02.240 I think the most exciting things that I get to 0:05:02.320 --> 0:05:07.400 do at this point is video games or gambling. And 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:10.520 I think it's mostly gambling because I just kind of 0:05:10.600 --> 0:05:12.600 enjoy being around degenerates. 0:05:14.120 --> 0:05:23.800 How's the gambling going, you know, up and down? And 0:05:23.960 --> 0:05:25.640 the whole time it's been in Palm Beach. 0:05:27.560 --> 0:05:31.360 More or less, I mean, it's been Palm Beach County. 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:34.560 Do you have a lot of friends down there? 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:38.640 I wouldn't say a lot, but I have pretty good 0:05:38.680 --> 0:05:40.720 quality friends. I have about like eight people that I 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:44.000 regularly kind of you know, talk with or meet up 0:05:44.000 --> 0:05:46.280 with for lunches and stuff like that. 0:05:47.080 --> 0:05:49.719 That's a lot. That's that's good. That's a lot of friends. 0:05:50.160 --> 0:05:50.799 Eight friends. 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:53.719 But if I'm being absolutely honest about it, it's just 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:58.039 that there is no comparing going and getting Chipotle with 0:05:58.080 --> 0:05:59.919 a couple of friends and then like hitting a tramble 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:04.240 in park to uh, you know, basically assailing a guy 0:06:04.240 --> 0:06:06.000 in a back parking lot somewhere at a bar. 0:06:06.200 --> 0:06:11.760 You know why, I get like what I mean, for real, man, like, 0:06:11.839 --> 0:06:18.000 do you when you look back upon violent straight like 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:19.479 you do you? I mean, do you look at it 0:06:19.520 --> 0:06:20.120 like fondly? 0:06:21.800 --> 0:06:24.800 I'm a little bit Most of the people that that 0:06:24.880 --> 0:06:28.040 I ended up, you know, uh having interactions with back 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:31.400 then in that capacity they kind of deserved it. They're 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:37.520 they're kind of pieces of ship. Mm hmm. I mean 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:39.640 either people that would like steal money and beat their 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:41.680 kids and ship. And I was like, oh yeah, cool, 0:06:42.160 --> 0:06:44.000 no one's going to care. Then It's fine. 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:50.719 Mm hm Uh. You sound like you're you're primed to 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:53.360 become the palm beach batman. If that's what you really 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:53.840 want to do. 0:06:55.120 --> 0:06:57.880 I don't want to though, Like I really like, I 0:06:57.960 --> 0:07:00.919 don't want to. I want to enjoy the life that 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:04.280 I have. But at the same time, I just find 0:07:04.320 --> 0:07:08.359 it so boring, is okay? 0:07:08.360 --> 0:07:10.000 I mean, over the past ten years, have there been 0:07:10.040 --> 0:07:13.760 any inkling of anything that you desire to want to 0:07:13.800 --> 0:07:17.480 do outside of hitting people? 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:25.120 To be honest, realistically, I just kind of maybe to 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:28.520 start some kind of nonprofit or some kind of like 0:07:28.720 --> 0:07:33.320 charity that would benefit the overpopulated dog pounds, the things 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:35.640 like that. I do have a kind of a passion 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:39.680 towards helping animals. And while I'm working with you know, 0:07:39.760 --> 0:07:42.120 dogs on a regular basis, these are all very affluent 0:07:42.520 --> 0:07:45.440 families with very well taken care of pets, and there's 0:07:45.520 --> 0:07:48.480 just so many that are like discarded and treated badly 0:07:49.800 --> 0:07:52.680 that I would really like to have, you know, a 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:56.760 solid place to like just keep them safe. Well said 0:07:57.000 --> 0:07:58.120 safe played with. 0:08:02.240 --> 0:08:07.360 M hmm. I don't know, man, It's interesting, and I 0:08:07.560 --> 0:08:11.640 I feel you on just like life being boring because 0:08:12.320 --> 0:08:15.800 you know, I guess I'm doing like I can't like 0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:19.640 I can't sit still either. I just feel like I 0:08:19.680 --> 0:08:25.120 have to be fucking doing something. Uh. And I've typically 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:30.640 been able to fulfill that by you know, working on 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:34.680 projects and work and whatnot. So I mean I think 0:08:34.800 --> 0:08:37.080 I think a nonprofit's a good idea. It's I mean, 0:08:37.080 --> 0:08:42.479 it's certainly I'm gonna say, a nonprofit helping abused animals 0:08:43.360 --> 0:08:47.679 is a better idea for you to cure your boredom 0:08:47.720 --> 0:08:53.600 than to beat beat people up. Yeah, I. 0:08:55.640 --> 0:08:58.800 Think that's fair to say, and I agree with you. 0:08:59.200 --> 0:09:01.880 It's probably a better use my energy and it would 0:09:01.960 --> 0:09:05.760 probably benefit the world more. And you know, it's just 0:09:05.920 --> 0:09:08.000 how do I how do I really just get over 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:13.960 the fact that it's just so goddamn mundane. I mean, 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:16.199 there is no rush to it at all. It's it's 0:09:16.240 --> 0:09:21.559 all just strategizing, putting the money aside, and making sure 0:09:21.600 --> 0:09:24.960 that you're scoping out the right property, you know, pushing 0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:25.679 paperwork man. 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:31.280 Well okay, well ok, well, so we're talking about two 0:09:31.320 --> 0:09:35.880 different things here, because you're saying there's no adrenaline. There's 0:09:35.920 --> 0:09:42.320 a difference between running a small dog walking business is 0:09:42.360 --> 0:09:46.560 not as exciting as beating people up, and nothing is 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:48.720 as exciting as beating people up. 0:09:48.559 --> 0:09:53.520 Correct, I mean, yeah, just for example, beating people up, 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:55.560 I mean there was obviously other things, you know, running 0:09:55.600 --> 0:10:00.000 from police doing all sorts of just kind of outlandish experience. 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:02.560 An is that I can look back on and say, well, 0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:04.439 you know, not everybody got to do that, and I did, 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:05.520 so well, let. 0:10:05.400 --> 0:10:07.719 Me ask you this because I mean, I assume why 0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:10.520 part of any like recovery communities are you in na 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:11.320 or anything like that. 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:16.000 No, I'm I'm actually really bad about that. I I 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:17.599 stopped on my own, so I kind of have a 0:10:17.640 --> 0:10:20.920 superiority complex about it, like, oh, why don't you just quit? 0:10:21.200 --> 0:10:21.800 I did. 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:26.719 Well, I guess. I mean, I'm asking because it's a 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:31.760 very common idea of one taking the excitement that they 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:37.000 found and whatever their negative behavior was and finding it 0:10:37.160 --> 0:10:40.920 in something else. So it's been done before. 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:48.120 Right, Yeah, I just I really haven't, I guess, engaged 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:54.120 with that community on that level. And you know, part 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:55.840 of it's me getting my own way. I know that, 0:10:56.720 --> 0:11:00.199 you know, I can acknowledge my own superiority complex when 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:04.120 it comes to it. I definitely feel like I'm kind 0:11:04.160 --> 0:11:07.440 of above it, and that's not a good thing, but 0:11:07.840 --> 0:11:10.480 it's just the reality of how I'm thinking about it. 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:15.920 But I understand that there is a community there that 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:19.400 could probably help me kind of redirect some of this 0:11:19.400 --> 0:11:20.680 this excess energy that I have. 0:11:23.720 --> 0:11:26.080 I mean, well, I'm also very interested that this is 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:30.319 not a new problem. This is something you've been having 0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:31.080 to figure. 0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:33.559 Out slow simmering in the past. 0:11:33.320 --> 0:11:37.839 Ten years, and so I'm curious in what ways you've 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:45.319 addressed attempted to, whether successfully or unsuccessfully address this issue 0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:49.080 in these past ten years. 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:52.319 Mostly I just say it is what it is, and 0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:56.120 I try and move on day to day. But over 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:59.000 the course of thousands of days obviously gets a little 0:11:59.480 --> 0:12:02.040 a little hard to continue to just blow it off 0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:08.120 like that. That being said, you know, I mean, I'm 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:11.840 still doing pretty well for myself, and I understand that 0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:14.000 I can't go back to that kind of a lifestyle 0:12:14.040 --> 0:12:17.000 because it is it's absolutely a waste of my my 0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:22.120 time here. So like, at least I have that understanding. 0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:24.640 And since I know I have that understand like it's 0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:26.920 a little too introspective, but yeah, since I have the 0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:31.280 understanding of that, I feel like it's easier for me 0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:34.520 to just kind of push through the boring parts. 0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:36.680 You should. I have a movie for you to watch. 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:40.840 It's not helpful at all. It's called The Incredibles. 0:12:42.440 --> 0:12:43.280 I've seen it. 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:45.840 You've seen the Incredibles. It just like this guy. I mean, 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:48.960 it's different because it wasn't he wasn't into meth, but 0:12:49.160 --> 0:12:52.360 like he you know, he was. He was He liked 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:56.079 to beat people up that he felt like deserved it. 0:12:56.720 --> 0:12:58.920 That was his thing, and he was doing pretty good 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:02.719 at doing that. And then he quit and he went 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:07.360 into insurance and it made him depressed. And then he 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:10.400 went to the jungle and then I think he started 0:13:10.440 --> 0:13:14.679 beating people up again. You know what, don't watch that movie. 0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:17.719 Never mind forget I said anything, all right, go to. 0:13:17.679 --> 0:13:21.360 The Amazon, start beating people up. Perfect, got it? 0:13:21.440 --> 0:13:27.800 I mean you could go to the Amazon. I mean, 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:30.720 I don't know. I this is I only have my 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:35.200 own perspective on I only really have my own perspective 0:13:35.280 --> 0:13:38.439 on the world, and the perspectives of everyone who I've 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:42.600 ever talked to, uh if they, you know, nuzzled their 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:44.800 way into my brain, which I mean, I guess is 0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:47.880 encompassed in my own perspective of the world. But I 0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:50.480 found like when I get when I get fucking bored, 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:54.559 I just I travel, I go places. Do you I mean, 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:57.080 do you have the flexibility to do that with your 0:13:57.080 --> 0:13:57.679 dog walking on? 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:03.280 So I'm actually going to be going to New Orleans 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:06.000 here in June, just so I can kind of get 0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:08.720 out of my funk, because I have not left Palm 0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:12.400 Beach County in the last seven years since I started this. 0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:16.839 I've been very stationary and stuck here because. 0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:23.840 You haven't even I mean, I mean, how much of 0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:26.680 an attempt have you made to find, you know, new 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:29.720 and interesting things to do that aren't you know, fantasizing 0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:31.480 about like running from the cops and stuff. 0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:36.080 Well, I just I don't have a lot of people 0:14:36.120 --> 0:14:38.360 that I trust enough to do my job since I 0:14:38.400 --> 0:14:41.240 am working with like multimillionaires and stuff, and I have 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:45.680 to be basically free key access to their homes and stuff. 0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:48.320 I really I don't want the liability of somebody that 0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:50.840 I don't fully trust going into their house and possibly 0:14:50.920 --> 0:14:51.760 rooting through their shit. 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:55.720 Maybe not the people that you're meeting at the blackjack. 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:59.520 Table, probably not. Probably not the degenerates that I prefer 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:01.000 to time around. 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:05.320 Not that, not that, not that there aren't you know, 0:15:05.520 --> 0:15:09.440 respectable upstanding citizens playing blackjack, But you did refer to 0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:11.280 them as degenerates. 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:17.720 Yeah, and you know, I just I mean, don't don't 0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:19.760 get me wrong. My close circle of friends, I mean, 0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:22.120 these are these are good people. They're they're firefighters and 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:24.080 ship but they don't want to come walk dogs. They 0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:25.120 want to be firefighters. 0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:29.560 They you know, what are you doing in New Orleans? 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:31.320 Uh? 0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:36.280 Probably just going to go out there and drink in excess, 0:15:36.880 --> 0:15:41.240 celebrate my friend's birthday while we're there, Uh talk talk 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:45.440 to women that are not from my town, and uh, yeah, 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:46.600 catch your flight back. 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:53.280 I don't know if this is helpful or even what, 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:59.240 but I've been thinking about this a lot because I 0:15:59.320 --> 0:16:06.880 sometimes think that I'm also I'm also very much in 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:08.960 this process of trying to figure out how to make 0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:13.040 my life like good, you know. But that's the thing. 0:16:13.080 --> 0:16:17.080 It's already good. But I kind of am like, you know, 0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:20.040 like I just went, well, I went to Thailand for 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:23.120 ten days, and I'm I'm, you know, traveling a lot 0:16:23.240 --> 0:16:27.120 and whatever. And I'm kind of like, yeah, is my 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:31.680 life going to be better because I'm going out and 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:34.960 going crazy and having all these experiences and this and 0:16:35.000 --> 0:16:37.000 that and the other thing, or is it going to 0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:42.560 be better because internally, in my own brain, I've adopted 0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:49.720 a mindset of gratefulness and appreciation for the things in 0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:54.080 my life, whatever those things are and I'm wondering about 0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:59.840 that because like you know, I'm I've done you know, 0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:05.199 this crazy stuff whatever, and I am I am still 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:12.520 you know, day to day struggling with uh, trying like 0:17:12.640 --> 0:17:18.320 you know, feeling good about life. And so I wonder, like, 0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:21.480 are those things? And I feel very good about doing 0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:23.800 those things, and I know that when I die, I'll 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:27.639 be able to go, h Okay, we did, we live 0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:32.479 life to the fullest. But I don't know how if 0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:37.760 this stuff that we're looking for is uh, you know, 0:17:38.080 --> 0:17:43.440 outside of our brains are inside of our brains. I'm 0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:48.760 leaning towards and this will probably evolve as I get 0:17:48.760 --> 0:17:52.080 older and have more experience in tackling these issues. But 0:17:52.600 --> 0:17:54.720 I'm leaning towards a bit a little bit of both, 0:17:54.840 --> 0:18:00.320 a little commodation of both. You know. Sometimes I'll use 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:03.080 this whole like, oh, it's all in my internal brain. 0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:05.719 Sometimes I use it as an excuse to be lazy 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:07.399 and not do ship. You know what I'm talking about. 0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:10.480 Absolutely, So it's a little. 0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:11.720 But it's a little bit about it's a little bit 0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:15.880 of both. But anyway, that's that wasn't advice, all right, 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:18.600 it's just thoughts. This is that wasn't advice or even 0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:22.320 anything that anyone could be like, hey, you remember when 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:23.800 you said that, I'd be like, oh fuck, did I 0:18:23.840 --> 0:18:27.240 really say that's? I'm just this is I'm just pontificating. 0:18:27.920 --> 0:18:28.920 Yeah, don't quote me on that. 0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:31.800 Yeah, don't quote me anything I've ever said. 0:18:33.480 --> 0:18:35.440 Well, I mean, that's That's where I'm kind of at 0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:38.040 is at the crossroads of like, am I I have 0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:41.560 my positive accomplishments and my my accolades and everything else 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:44.080 that I'm doing, which is great. I mean, you know, 0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:46.720 I should be very grateful for that. It's it's it's 0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:50.160 my life's been working out significantly better than it did 0:18:50.160 --> 0:18:51.160 when I was doing that ship. 0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:53.679 I'm going to say, I'm going to say this to 0:18:53.760 --> 0:18:57.080 you is my this is my final piece on this 0:18:57.160 --> 0:19:06.280 phone call. It's you name again, Andrew, Andrew, just beneath, 0:19:07.760 --> 0:19:18.840 beneath everything. My viewpoint on this, whatever you're doing, you know, 0:19:18.960 --> 0:19:25.119 walking dogs, watching TV, play media, whatever you're doing at 0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:28.560 any given moments in your day to day life, at 0:19:28.600 --> 0:19:34.320 this point, there's like a ninety nine chance that it's 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:39.280 better than doing meth and beating people up. So take 0:19:39.359 --> 0:19:40.000 solace in that. 0:19:40.160 --> 0:19:44.239 Okay, I'll take solace in it. I don't know if 0:19:44.240 --> 0:19:46.719 I'll feel fulfilled by it, but I'll take some solace 0:19:46.760 --> 0:19:47.440 in it. 0:19:47.520 --> 0:19:48.720 Is there anything else you want to say to the 0:19:48.720 --> 0:19:50.000 people of the computer before we go? 0:19:50.480 --> 0:19:52.200 Uck? Pitches, make money? 0:19:52.320 --> 0:19:53.520 Take care? Thanks Andrew? 0:19:54.440 --> 0:19:55.200 All right, greg. 0:20:00.680 --> 0:20:01.159 By? Hello? 0:20:01.800 --> 0:20:03.120 Hello there? What is your name? 0:20:03.880 --> 0:20:04.080 Hi? 0:20:04.320 --> 0:20:07.440 I'm mister Sweetness, mister sweet to be? 0:20:07.520 --> 0:20:09.720 You know a Yeah? 0:20:10.960 --> 0:20:13.159 What where'd you get the name? Mister sweetness? 0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:16.760 Mister Sweetness is actually my performer name when I get there. 0:20:17.560 --> 0:20:21.320 Yes, hold on, mister sweetness is your performer name when 0:20:21.320 --> 0:20:23.119 you get there? Okay, what do you well? What do 0:20:23.160 --> 0:20:24.240 you what do you perform? 0:20:24.560 --> 0:20:27.439 I'm a complete singer. I've been singing for twelve years. 0:20:27.560 --> 0:20:30.439 Okay, what do you mean by get there? Sounds like 0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:33.080 you've been there for twelve years. 0:20:33.920 --> 0:20:36.479 Well, I've been in a special situation. I've been singing 0:20:36.480 --> 0:20:39.200 for twelve years. I've been in a choir. My whole 0:20:39.200 --> 0:20:42.199 life has been like choir for a majority of it. 0:20:42.200 --> 0:20:45.160 That's kind of much how I dictated all my choices 0:20:45.600 --> 0:20:49.600 throughout educational purposes. But I've been singing in the choir 0:20:49.600 --> 0:20:52.240 for twelve years, and I just recently dropped out of 0:20:52.280 --> 0:20:54.840 the a choir program. This's my first time doing my 0:20:54.920 --> 0:21:00.640 own thing, and I'm stuck. I'm like, I have all 0:21:00.640 --> 0:21:03.280 this ambition, I want to do all these things, but 0:21:03.320 --> 0:21:06.119 I steel like I'm stuck until I really make a 0:21:06.200 --> 0:21:09.399 decision on how I want to go about how I 0:21:09.440 --> 0:21:11.760 want to get there, because I think that's important. 0:21:12.600 --> 0:21:16.639 Yeah, yeah, what are you trying? What kind of decision 0:21:16.680 --> 0:21:17.480 are you trying to make? 0:21:17.840 --> 0:21:21.879 So? As an artist and I and I plan on having, like, 0:21:21.920 --> 0:21:25.399 you know, a whole Internetsuna image, all that jazz, so 0:21:25.440 --> 0:21:27.880 I don't I'm not worried about that, but I have 0:21:27.920 --> 0:21:30.960 to decide on how I want to get there because 0:21:31.920 --> 0:21:34.160 and this is why I feel like as I look 0:21:34.240 --> 0:21:36.280 back and how I've been deciding on how to get 0:21:36.320 --> 0:21:38.560 where I am, I feel like I've been kind of 0:21:39.760 --> 0:21:43.040 like the villains in this circumstance. I feel like if 0:21:43.080 --> 0:21:44.720 I really want to get to where I want to be, 0:21:45.560 --> 0:21:49.159 I have to have a kind of villainistic mindset on 0:21:49.200 --> 0:21:53.400 how to get there, almost like selfish to that point. 0:21:53.640 --> 0:21:56.480 So, yeah, so you texted me. You said, I think 0:21:56.520 --> 0:21:59.280 I am becoming a villain. That's what you said to me. 0:22:00.359 --> 0:22:02.439 Mm hmm, So what do you mean by that? 0:22:03.760 --> 0:22:09.560 So I know that I h I can be pretty 0:22:09.560 --> 0:22:12.800 stern stubborn when it when it gets there, I have 0:22:12.880 --> 0:22:15.480 no problem about that stuff. I let people know, Hey, 0:22:15.760 --> 0:22:18.480 I could be mean and I'm trying to get stuff done. Currently, 0:22:18.480 --> 0:22:20.119 I'm a manager at my job, and I know I 0:22:20.200 --> 0:22:22.159 like to be in positions of power where I know 0:22:22.280 --> 0:22:25.320 I can control what's gonna happen. I've been like, I've 0:22:25.320 --> 0:22:27.640 been a manager there for three years now, and I've 0:22:27.880 --> 0:22:30.440 did that and I got that position quick. I was like, yo, 0:22:31.240 --> 0:22:33.520 I know what needs to get done. Let me go 0:22:33.560 --> 0:22:35.159 ahead and work up the ranks real quick and so 0:22:35.200 --> 0:22:38.280 I can help you' all out help this situation. And 0:22:38.880 --> 0:22:42.359 it went fast. I got promoted, got my position. I've 0:22:42.400 --> 0:22:46.360 been pretty much borderline running that place besides my general. 0:22:46.520 --> 0:22:49.120 So look, look, man, we're getting a little off track here. 0:22:49.800 --> 0:22:53.520 What do you What do you mean by your becoming 0:22:53.560 --> 0:22:54.720 a villain? What does that mean? 0:22:55.800 --> 0:22:58.840 I feel like I'm going to have to make some 0:22:58.960 --> 0:23:02.199 really hard decisions when it comes to the people I 0:23:02.240 --> 0:23:06.760 associate with the things and directions. I'm going like, Okay, 0:23:06.880 --> 0:23:09.840 I'm gonna have to start cutting people off and start 0:23:09.920 --> 0:23:12.200 introducing myself to new things. But at the same time, 0:23:14.040 --> 0:23:15.680 that's the right thing to do. 0:23:16.080 --> 0:23:19.000 Okay, so if we're let me back up for a second. 0:23:21.560 --> 0:23:25.240 You desire to you have a lot of stuff you 0:23:25.240 --> 0:23:28.200 want to do. You want to be a professional singer, 0:23:28.280 --> 0:23:32.480 you want to make videos. That's all great. Why I'm 0:23:32.960 --> 0:23:37.840