Speaker 1: People sometimes and you see your favorite celebrities, the energy
Speaker 1: you get from them is the energy you gave off first.
Speaker 2: Ooh yeah, deadass, even the nicest of people. Right, Yes,
Speaker 2: And sometimes it just may not be the right time
Speaker 2: to approach someone. So when do you know when the
Speaker 2: right time is?
Speaker 1: Dead ass? Deadass?
Speaker 2: Hey, I'm Kadan and I'm Devoured and we're the Ellis's.
Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos with our.
Speaker 2: Voice and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.
Speaker 1: Wait, I make you need therapy most days? Wow?
Speaker 2: Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes.
Speaker 1: Sir, we are. We created this podcast to open dialogue
Speaker 1: about some of li's most taboo topics.
Speaker 2: Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 1: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
Speaker 1: is a term that we say every day. So when
Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred
Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 1: We about to take pilot off to our whole new level.
Speaker 2: Dead ass starts right now.
Speaker 1: All right, story Tom, I'm gonna paint the backdrop so
Speaker 1: that people can understand what happened and where we got
Speaker 1: to how we got to this point and how it
Speaker 1: could have gone wrong. Okay, so one of my close
Speaker 1: friends just recently moved down to Atlanta, and he moved
Speaker 1: down with his wife and his daughter, and his other
Speaker 1: daughter was coming down a few weeks later. They had
Speaker 1: all that stuff delivered in pods. The pod messed up
Speaker 1: the order and was fourteen days behind. They were supposed
Speaker 1: to be there a day after. All of her medication
Speaker 1: because she has asthma, was in the pods. They were
Speaker 1: expecting the pods to come the next day. She ran
Speaker 1: out of medication and didn't expect to not have her medication.
Speaker 1: So she's like, you know what, I'm chilling home for
Speaker 1: a little bit, but slowly but surely she has bad asthma.
Speaker 1: Her breathing was getting worse. She didn't realize how bad
Speaker 1: it was gonna get because she never lived in Atlanta before,
Speaker 1: and as you know, piling out here is bad, ragweed
Speaker 1: is bad. It was coming off cold and flu season,
Speaker 1: so a lot of people have the heat blasting in
Speaker 1: the house. She didn't realize, but she was getting really,
Speaker 1: really sick. Ultimately developed a lung infection. At the time,
Speaker 1: we didn't know it was a lung infection, but just
Speaker 1: want to paint the backdrop. I had tickets to the
Speaker 1: basketball game. He had just moved down here. Me and
Speaker 1: Kay had just flown back from doing Sherry Sheppard. So
Speaker 1: I was like, Yo, I don't want these tickets these
Speaker 1: basketball games. You and wifey go to the basketball game.
Speaker 1: He's like, all I bet calls me, says, yo, d wifey.
Speaker 1: She don't feel too good. I'm just go to the
Speaker 1: basketball game. Can you just check in on her? I
Speaker 1: was like cool because they lived right by us. So
Speaker 1: me and Kay literally just laying off the plane. I called.
Speaker 1: I said, Yo, how you feeling. She's like, can barely talk.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, you don't sound good. Are you sure
Speaker 1: you're okay? And she's just like no, I'm not okay.
Speaker 1: I said, you want to go to the hospital. She says,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try to go to an urgent. She tries
Speaker 1: to go to the urgent care. I'm in constant contact
Speaker 1: with her, me and k both in the car now right,
Speaker 1: and she's sounded words. I hear her crying because she said,
Speaker 1: Devoted urgent care is closed. They sent me to another
Speaker 1: one their an capacity. We just moved down here, I
Speaker 1: don't know which hospital go to. So me and kay
Speaker 1: Kay immediately says, Yo, buss a U turn, We're gonna
Speaker 1: go pick her up, take her to the hospital. We
Speaker 1: go to the urgent care. We pick her up, get
Speaker 1: to the hospital. K is in there because we pull
Speaker 1: up right in Mercy, and this is asthma we're talking about.
Speaker 1: At the time, we don't know she has a lung infection.
Speaker 1: But I grew up with one of my closest cousins, Porsche,
Speaker 1: had asthma, and one of my closest front Gasvin, has asthma.
Speaker 1: And I've been with them where they will find one
Speaker 1: minute and in the next minute there's an er run
Speaker 1: or there's an ambulance being caught because they can't breathe.
Speaker 1: I'm doing about a buck forty on the highway to
Speaker 1: get her to the hospital. Like I'm nervous. She's nervous.
Speaker 1: Ks looking at me like yo, like she has to
Speaker 1: be okay. We get to the hospital, We walk up,
Speaker 1: she registers and she's you know, lightheaded whole like I'm
Speaker 1: my arm around her. We sit down so she can
Speaker 1: fill out the paperwork while I sit down so she
Speaker 1: can fill out the paperwork. I'm holding her to make
Speaker 1: sure she's okay. I see a lady across from me
Speaker 1: tap another lady, and in this moment, I've already been
Speaker 1: in this situation so many times they recognize who I am.
Speaker 1: After tapping the other lady, I go back up to
Speaker 1: the office, said, hey, we have a breathing issue. They say, oh,
Speaker 1: it's a cold red we have a breathing issue outside.
Speaker 1: So I'm back down there. I'm holding her, rubbing her
Speaker 1: back while she filled the paperwork. I noticed the lady
Speaker 1: has now has her phone up and she's scanning in
Speaker 1: our direction.
Speaker 2: And I'm in the car.
Speaker 1: Yes, you're in the car, And all I can think
Speaker 1: about in this moment is these people are probably saying, ooh,
Speaker 1: look at the valve in the hospital with a woman
Speaker 1: who's not k you know what I'm saying, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get this on camera. I decide in that moment not
Speaker 1: to respond, even though I was fucking pissed, right And
Speaker 1: because my friend here cannot breathe. Now, my brother who's
Speaker 1: moving out here, I've known him since he was ten
Speaker 1: years old and I was fourteen, So we're talking about
Speaker 1: thirty plus years of friendship and this is his wife.
Speaker 1: I'm like, fucked all of the bullshit they call us
Speaker 1: in the back of escort to the room, I'm worried
Speaker 1: about her. They said, we got her stable Devale. We're
Speaker 1: gonna you know, she has a slight fever. You know,
Speaker 1: we're gonna make sure she's good. Boom. I said, Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go take K home so she can got
Speaker 1: the kids. Mind you, their daughter was at our house,
Speaker 1: so we're all doing this together as a family. So
Speaker 1: I walk her in the back. I come out. When
Speaker 1: I come out, the lady stands up. She goes zach Zach.
Speaker 1: I was like really, like really, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: And she's like, oh, it's cool. School, it's cool. You know,
Speaker 1: where's K. I'm like, yo, I got to take K home.
Speaker 1: Like I'm trying to still be a polite quote unquote celebrity,
Speaker 1: because to be honest, for me, at this point, it's
Speaker 1: still like super brand new. I said, she's in the car.
Speaker 1: She said, oh, okay, okay, you'll be back. I'll get
Speaker 1: you when you come back. No, you fucking won't like. No,
Speaker 1: you won't like. And the thing that bothered me the
Speaker 1: most is that I could tell the way people ask questions, right,
Speaker 1: It wasn't an old whizz k let me get a picture?
Speaker 1: The question was like an old where's k? As if
Speaker 1: you got me, you caught me doing.
Speaker 2: Something right that you shouldn't have been doing.
Speaker 1: Right when I'm walking out, and then when she looks around,
Speaker 1: she sees.
Speaker 2: The car with you because I literally pulled into the
Speaker 2: little like a circle just to let you guys, and
Speaker 2: I jumped into the driver's seat because I was waiting
Speaker 2: for you to let me know. Was it going to
Speaker 2: be something quick? Was you know, your friend on his
Speaker 2: way to be with his wife, like what we're doing next?
Speaker 2: I know that their daughter who's also too you know
Speaker 2: what's on the way to our house? Like this is
Speaker 2: a lot going a lot one time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And to be honest, the reason why we're not
Speaker 1: saying their names because they don't you know, they're not
Speaker 1: public figures. And what we've learned even through our podcast
Speaker 1: is that we'll mention the story. We may say a
Speaker 1: first name of something, and then that person becomes the
Speaker 1: target of other people's investigation.
Speaker 2: Are there are times where we haven't said names and
Speaker 2: people just try to put a story together and then be.
Speaker 1: Wrong and be wrong, dead wrong dead wrong.
Speaker 2: Dead wrong. We got a call from someone was like,
Speaker 2: did you say something about something that I was like that.
Speaker 1: Had nothing to do with you.
Speaker 2: It was like some completely other person. But people be
Speaker 2: trying to put sh it together that don't belong together.
Speaker 1: And the way babe, the way she asked, she's a whiskadeen.
Speaker 1: And but here's the thing. People act as if I
Speaker 1: still can't tell their recording, Like you have your phone
Speaker 1: by your chest, and this is just for y'all. Watch them.
Speaker 1: When you have your phone by the chest and you're
Speaker 1: scanning as I'm walking by, that's not a normal phone movement.
Speaker 1: I can tell you recorded. So when you ask where's
Speaker 1: Ka and I say, oh, she's in the car, and
Speaker 1: then you turn and then you see that.
Speaker 2: She is in the car, it's like, oh, let me
Speaker 2: get all this footage so I can you know what
Speaker 2: I'm saying, we can corroborate his stories.
Speaker 1: It's like, YO, moment, like I'm having a very personal
Speaker 1: private moment. My friend could possibly be dying, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. We find out later she had a
Speaker 1: lung infection, and if she would have stayed home and
Speaker 1: went to sleep, there could have been a lot of
Speaker 1: difficulty with her breathing, so we did the right thing,
Speaker 1: got her to the hospital. But in that moment, we're
Speaker 1: not thinking like celebrities like you know, but we'll we'll
Speaker 1: continue the story when we come back and the dissect
Speaker 1: why this has become an issue for not only us
Speaker 1: before a lot of people we know karaoke time. So
Speaker 1: now we're back and this song is very simple song.
Speaker 1: I don't know who sings this song. I really don't care,
Speaker 1: but this song always reminds me of that episode. What
Speaker 1: it was the stand up that Martin did. I think
Speaker 1: it was run til that well, he said he came
Speaker 1: outside and the cops outside, and he realized the cops
Speaker 1: was outside, and then all you can think about his
Speaker 1: head was they looking at me. I'm looking at them.
Speaker 1: I'm looking at them and looking at me. You know,
Speaker 1: I can think of but sometimes I feel like somebody's.
Speaker 2: Watching me and have privacy.
Speaker 1: WHOA, I think that's Michael Jackson. The melody came to me,
Speaker 1: it's Michael Jackson.
Speaker 2: Well clearly because he had to deal with a lot
Speaker 2: too facts, as you know, a huge worldwide celebrity. So
Speaker 2: but yeah, sometimes we be feeling like people be watching this.
Speaker 2: We'll be watching y'all watching this until y'all figure out
Speaker 2: that we know that you're watching us. And it's that's
Speaker 2: usually when someone comes by, like sorry to bother you, right,
Speaker 2: but I'm a bother you real quick. Right, It's all
Speaker 2: love though. All right, let's go pay some bills and
Speaker 2: we're going to come back and we'll talk more about
Speaker 2: uh the story time and today's topic, which is uh
Speaker 2: fanning fandom fan decorum.
Speaker 1: Or fame decorum. Famed there requires decorum on both sides.
Speaker 2: Oh for sure, absolutely, all right, y'all, we'll be back,
Speaker 2: all right. So, yeah, that story time, it was funny
Speaker 2: because in that moment, we were all just so concerned
Speaker 2: about all the moving parts. You know, we were trying
Speaker 2: to assist them with the move. Here. We have our
Speaker 2: four kids, they have their daughter.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: Then it's like all the family members on deck trying
Speaker 2: to help out. So if in that moment you handled
Speaker 2: it differently and within your panic for her, right and
Speaker 2: trying to sort that out, knowing too that you still
Speaker 2: like just got off a plane, have to get home,
Speaker 2: there's stuff you have have to do, you could have
Speaker 2: reacted very differently to the young lady who was like,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: Zach, And it's just true because it wasn't a young lady.
Speaker 1: It wasn't a young lady. She is definitely of age
Speaker 1: to understand, understand and know better what was happening, you know.
Speaker 2: And yeah, for sure, but I can see how if
Speaker 2: you were to reply the way you really wanted to
Speaker 2: reply to her, then it's going to be like, oh,
Speaker 2: you know, he's mean or he's nasty, you know, not
Speaker 2: taking into consideration like wow, we're actually in an emergency room.
Speaker 2: In an emergency room, Like that's the biggest I think.
Speaker 2: If there's any place that requires a level of privacy
Speaker 2: and decorum that people have, it should be a hospital, right,
Speaker 2: And this is anybody, This is not someone who's super
Speaker 2: famous or just you know the girl as a person.
Speaker 2: A hospital is such a super private, sensitive space for anyone.
Speaker 2: So the fact that somebody had because I've been in
Speaker 2: doctor type environments and places where I've even called on
Speaker 2: the phone to make an appointment, and I can tell
Speaker 2: when I give my name on the phone that somebody
Speaker 2: might recognize who they're speaking to, you know, and for
Speaker 2: the most part, people maintain a level of professionals I
Speaker 2: listen to me, professional professional, listen.
Speaker 1: Listen right.
Speaker 2: Jackson plays that video over and over again. Sorry, my
Speaker 2: coffee hasn't sent in YT, y'all. But yeah, most most time,
Speaker 2: I think people have a level of the quorum that
Speaker 2: they do maintain. But every now and again that you know,
Speaker 2: and I get it because in that moment, you think, Wow, there's,
Speaker 2: however many billion people in this world. What are the
Speaker 2: chances that in this moment, in this space, in this
Speaker 2: time I am bumping into somebody who I either watch
Speaker 2: on TV, admire listen to the podcast? Am I going
Speaker 2: to have this moment again? And I completely get that
Speaker 2: on the other side, where people who love and admire
Speaker 2: us and support us are just like, wow, what are
Speaker 2: the chances that our world's collided in this? This is
Speaker 2: my opportunity to say hello, you know what.
Speaker 1: The only thing that bothers me with people and this
Speaker 1: is the way they deal with other people, regardless of
Speaker 1: whether there's celebrities or not. I'll give you an example.
Speaker 1: I'm in the Walmart over there and there's a disagreement
Speaker 1: between two young women and they asked to speak to
Speaker 1: you know, bring the manager, Bring the manager. The manager
Speaker 1: comes out the minute he comes out, this woman is
Speaker 1: in his face and he says, excuse me, it's you
Speaker 1: and your man. Calm down, I'm going to help assist you.
Speaker 1: You know, can you just tell me what happens? She's
Speaker 1: screaming in cursonality, said, ma'am, what makes you think that?
Speaker 1: Like you can just talk to me like that. Her
Speaker 1: response is the response that we always hear when people
Speaker 1: don't understand someone else's job description of perfection. They say, well,
Speaker 1: you signed up for the job, you know what it was.
Speaker 1: I'm the customer. The customer is always right, ma'am. Just
Speaker 1: because that person has a job doesn't mean that you
Speaker 1: reserve the right to disrespect them right at any They're
Speaker 1: a human. It doesn't matter if they're a celebrity, if
Speaker 1: they're a manager of Walmart, if they're the ticket guy at.
Speaker 2: The movie theater, or they're the janitor, like it does
Speaker 2: not doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: Yes, And people say this all the time. You knew
Speaker 1: what the job was, you signed up for this. No
Speaker 1: one signs up to get disrespected period, Like, I don't
Speaker 1: care what your job is, because.
Speaker 2: When you get disrespected back, people are human beings, you
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. So when you get disrespected back
Speaker 2: or the energy that you put out, Yes, you get
Speaker 2: a dose of that in return. Don't then play victim.
Speaker 1: Facts.
Speaker 2: Don't then play victim and act that you don't know
Speaker 2: how we got here.
Speaker 1: Fact you started it.
Speaker 2: You started it, And you're not going to meet people
Speaker 2: all the time who are willing to back down from confrontation.
Speaker 2: I know my husband enough to know, y'all, Develle is
Speaker 2: not going back down from confrontation. I'm not.
Speaker 1: And I've been there with a dud one time. I've
Speaker 1: been there with to do. Remember we I got. It's
Speaker 1: me and Cairo. We were getting on a plane to
Speaker 1: go to New York and we're coming from Atlanta. And
Speaker 1: this dude, younger looking dude, he's just like yo, the
Speaker 1: like he got excited. I said, Yo, yo, Yo, I'm
Speaker 1: from Orangeburg too. We could be cousins, I'm like.
Speaker 2: And usually we meet. We matched, y'all excited.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I say to him, I said, Yo, let's
Speaker 1: get a flick thing, cuz you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: You said, y'all. I want the boys too. If y'all
Speaker 1: know me, y'all know, I'm always going to ask my
Speaker 1: children if they feel like taking a picture, because I
Speaker 1: never want them to feel like their circus animals and
Speaker 1: have to do what other people want them to do.
Speaker 2: I stopped asking them. I just say no, you just
Speaker 2: respectfully say no, you can have a photo with me,
Speaker 2: but we'll just leave the children.
Speaker 1: And you reserve the right to do especially with the
Speaker 1: super young ones, because you're typically so I asked them,
Speaker 1: and typically Jackson is a little bit more like cool,
Speaker 1: it's early in the morning, I'll fight his first flight out.
Speaker 1: Kyro was like, I really don't feel like it. So
Speaker 1: then Jackson says, I'll stand on the side. Because Jackson
Speaker 1: was going to take you y'all stay on the side, well, Cairo,
Speaker 1: So I said, all cool, they side, come on and
Speaker 1: take the picture. He looked at me and was just like, so,
Speaker 1: they're really not gonna take the picture. I still remain calm.
Speaker 1: I said, nah, like not taking the picture, you can
Speaker 1: get the picture of Mecuz like I'm trying to keep
Speaker 1: it light. And he like, wow, I support y'all. I
Speaker 1: do everything all I do. You know, I'm saying I
Speaker 1: can't even get a picture. So at this point, I said, yo,
Speaker 1: my man, real talk there, you holding me up. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to get on this flight. If you want the picture,
Speaker 1: you could take the picture. So then he goes to
Speaker 1: put his arm around me and he kind of take
Speaker 1: the picture like he was reluctant, and I'm seeing Jackson
Speaker 1: and Kyro look confused, and I said, you know what,
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna take this picture. Man, you ruined the moment. Bro.
Speaker 1: He's like, how I ruined the moment there? I said, Yo,
Speaker 1: watch your mouth. Don't if you say some of my kids,
Speaker 1: you can get real serious. And I think in that
Speaker 1: moment he realized, then now you have devoured the father,
Speaker 1: not devoured the entertainer that likes to make people laugh.
Speaker 1: And he was just like, my fourth d No, it
Speaker 1: ain't even like that. And I'm like, well, it's gonna
Speaker 1: get like that if you don't get the fuck out
Speaker 1: my face now, because now I'm getting pissed and my
Speaker 1: sons look a little nervous and I don't know you,
Speaker 1: and it's like now he takes that, and who knows
Speaker 1: what he says. I was an asshole. I was aggressive,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And for me sometimes it's
Speaker 1: like am sometimes I don't want to be so nice
Speaker 1: because when I move my boundaries to accommodate people who
Speaker 1: may be excited. Then it blurs the lines and they
Speaker 1: feel like there are no boundaries. And then when they
Speaker 1: feel like there are no boundaries, they feel like they're
Speaker 1: entitled to something that's just seriously, just a blessing, Like
Speaker 1: I don't have to give you a picture, but I'm
Speaker 1: always going to give people who support me pictures of
Speaker 1: me when my kids are there, if my wife's not
Speaker 1: in the mood. Sorry, you know what I'm saying. And
Speaker 1: I want to speak to two people because we do
Speaker 1: have friends who are becoming celebrity, who are celebrities, athletes
Speaker 1: who watch who also listen. I honestly feel like as
Speaker 1: a person who constantly asks people to support their projects,
Speaker 1: support their art, to buy their products, I feel like
Speaker 1: you have Ai douc she every responsibility to be kind
Speaker 1: and take people when they see you in public. That's me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel that's just me. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1: With that being said, we're in an emergency room. I'm
Speaker 1: at dinner putting a piece of steak in my mouth,
Speaker 1: and you don't ask. But now I see a light
Speaker 1: shining on me and my family while we're eating dinner.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a similar story. I have several actually
Speaker 2: of people just recording me. The weirdest ones for me
Speaker 2: were always when in the moment, someone may see me,
Speaker 2: see me with the children, see me with you, out
Speaker 2: with my sister, whoever, and instead of in the moment
Speaker 2: just coming over and saying hey, hello, just want to
Speaker 2: say hi, because I'll always say hello back, it's recording
Speaker 2: a video of me or taking a picture and then
Speaker 2: dming me later.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I may randomly come across it like hey, I
Speaker 2: saw you and your sister earlier in hobby lobby or whatever, right,
Speaker 2: and it's like, okay, so you didn't say hi in
Speaker 2: the moment, but you took a picture of me and
Speaker 2: my sister looking at ornaments and you just didn't say
Speaker 2: hello in the moment, Like, which one is more weird
Speaker 2: to me? Would it have been more weird for you
Speaker 2: to say hello and just acknowledging me in the moment?
Speaker 2: And then we have a little exchange, because if I
Speaker 2: was looking for Christmas ornaments, I probably would have been excited.
Speaker 2: I don't tell you what it is. I helped you
Speaker 2: with your Christmas the core. I did all that, you know,
Speaker 2: so that is always kind of off putting for me.
Speaker 2: But I do have an instance one time where you
Speaker 2: guys know, I like to take my boys on mommy
Speaker 2: sun dates, and you were out of town filming at
Speaker 2: this point, I think you're in Canada, and it was
Speaker 2: a Friday night. Didn't feel like cooking. I'm like, you
Speaker 2: know what, I'll take the three oldest boys for dinner.
Speaker 2: So we go to one of my favorite restaurants and
Speaker 2: they seat me in the back and it was kind
Speaker 2: of like a tight kind of boot situation, but it
Speaker 2: was a booth where a couple could sit on one
Speaker 2: end of the booth and then I was able to
Speaker 2: sit with the three boys on the other end of
Speaker 2: the booth, but it was still within close proximity. So
Speaker 2: it was another black couple, which I'm like, cool because
Speaker 2: in this area I don't often see black couples where
Speaker 2: the restaurant is. So, you know, I say hello, just
Speaker 2: being polite, and I saw the woman in the duo
Speaker 2: kind of like perk up, like she probably recognized who
Speaker 2: I was. So then she like pulled her phone out
Speaker 2: and then I saw her like showing her husband. So
Speaker 2: maybe she was showing her husband because we can always
Speaker 2: tell that too, when like someone pulls the phone out
Speaker 2: and then you're trying to be like, that's who they are.
Speaker 2: So that was transpiring. So just to be polite, because
Speaker 2: we were sitting in such close quarters, we exchange a
Speaker 2: couple of words, you know, and just being nice, being
Speaker 2: human in the present moment, made no mention of who
Speaker 2: I was or who Jackson there, my kids were, you know,
Speaker 2: no no mention of that. But I'm also not pretentious,
Speaker 2: pretentious enough to think that people always know who I
Speaker 2: am when I please. Sometimes people don't know and don't care,
Speaker 2: which is fine too. But I could tell in this
Speaker 2: moment that, you know, she was sitting there and she
Speaker 2: definitely knew who we were. So my kids ordered thirty
Speaker 2: six oysters. We're having a good time, we're eating. It's
Speaker 2: towards the end of the night, because we both were
Speaker 2: kind of eating around the same path, like they were
Speaker 2: wrapping up around the time we were wrapping up. So
Speaker 2: I don't know if this is when she thought this
Speaker 2: was her time to try to get a photo, but
Speaker 2: instead of asking for one, she holds her camera up
Speaker 2: to take a picture, and she's literally like within maybe
Speaker 2: four feet of me and takes the picture and the
Speaker 2: flash goes off. So once the flash goes off, that's
Speaker 2: when I get annoyed. And then I look over her
Speaker 2: and I'm just staring at her in the face right now,
Speaker 2: and she's fumbling with her phone and she's like, Babe,
Speaker 2: I told you my phone was malfunctioning, and I don't
Speaker 2: know what's going on. I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 2: And he looked so embarrassed. Yeah, I've seen he looked
Speaker 2: so embarrassed, and he was looking at her, and then
Speaker 2: she I can't believe you did that. And I'm just
Speaker 2: staring at her and her face, like, girl, you got caught,
Speaker 2: like I know you were trying to take a photo
Speaker 2: of me or the kids or whatever. And then she
Speaker 2: turns and then at this point, now she doesn't even
Speaker 2: like let up. She probably finds a way to take
Speaker 2: her flash off. And then I see her like trying
Speaker 2: to hold the phone up in a way that it
Speaker 2: was inconspicuous. But I'm like, she's still trying to take
Speaker 2: a picture. And the only reason why I didn't press
Speaker 2: her in that moment was because I was with the boys. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was with the boys. And then Jackson was like
Speaker 2: she definitely took a picture because they know because he yeah,
Speaker 2: because he knew. He was like, why didn't you just
Speaker 2: ask for a picture? You would have took it because
Speaker 2: the kids know too, Like we're always going to be
Speaker 2: able to just say short, no problem, y'all. Catch me
Speaker 2: at five am in the airport at Heartsfield, come over
Speaker 2: for a picture. I'm look crazy, but I'm gonna take
Speaker 2: the picture. And this is what it is.
Speaker 1: That's what's important to say is that we do feel
Speaker 1: as people who constantly ask and appreciate the support that
Speaker 1: people give us. We don't care what we look like
Speaker 1: how early in the morning is if you see me,
Speaker 1: you see ku, come take a picture, like come, stay,
Speaker 1: what's up?
Speaker 2: But it does snap filter? You know, I don't mind
Speaker 2: we take a picture of snapshat, like like do your
Speaker 2: girl a solid and let's put a filter on.
Speaker 1: Me because I'm tired of looking at the pictures of
Speaker 1: me later. And I got lashes, like I'm tired of
Speaker 1: seeing pictures and I'm like why do I got lashes
Speaker 1: and bush? But it is what it is, Like, hey, if.
Speaker 2: That's the picture you don't want, especially if it's five
Speaker 2: am and you approach me at the airport.
Speaker 1: But this, this is what I'm going to say next,
Speaker 1: is very important for people to understand. We live in
Speaker 1: a day in age now where digital content moves faster
Speaker 1: than it did like then regular analog magazines and newspapers
Speaker 1: back in the day. I remember when I was younger
Speaker 1: and I go to the supermarcro with my aunt Debbie
Speaker 1: and my mother, right, and the National Inquirer or National
Speaker 1: Inquisitor was like the magazine that's like the shade room,
Speaker 1: that's right, And I remember going to pick it up,
Speaker 1: and then my grandmother all being like, man, put that down. Man,
Speaker 1: that's not even real news. But then I remember other
Speaker 1: aunts being like, go, that is the real news, because
Speaker 1: that's you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: They give you.
Speaker 1: It's got some columns. But that stuff was so like,
Speaker 1: it moves so slow back in the day, where now,
Speaker 1: when you end up on a gossip column, that becomes
Speaker 1: people's reality because there is a segment of the population
Speaker 1: who only exists in a digital space, and what they
Speaker 1: see on some of these blogs and gossip columns, they
Speaker 1: honestly think that it's real.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so oh yeah, because there's no cross referencing
Speaker 2: from a journalistic standpoint. Back in the day, you can
Speaker 2: only access personal celebrities or they're personalized if they gave
Speaker 2: in like a tell all or an exclusive, or they
Speaker 2: wrote a book or they sat down with like Barbara Walters,
Speaker 2: that's when you were able to get that access. But
Speaker 2: now social media has created kind of a new kind
Speaker 2: of celebrity that thrives off of sharing more about their
Speaker 2: personal life, and people are just soaking it up because
Speaker 2: they feel like, no.
Speaker 1: No, no, they're not just soaking it up. People are
Speaker 1: taking from people and using that to create their own content,
Speaker 1: which is what other people don't understand. There was an
Speaker 1: article that was released that companies started to find black
Speaker 1: celebrities and release false stories with AI included to get clicks.
Speaker 1: Oh you see what I'm saying. Okay, so what happens
Speaker 1: is do at the airport or no, no, do to
Speaker 1: the airport, or even the young lady at the hospital,
Speaker 1: she takes the footage she has. She then takes that
Speaker 1: footage and just says I found devout at the hospital
Speaker 1: with another woman getting a procedure done. K is nowhere
Speaker 1: to be found. Why because people want and clickbait, So
Speaker 1: then people start clicking on it, and then people start
Speaker 1: commenting on it, and then the commentary becomes their react
Speaker 1: becomes the reality. And then what happens, And it's the
Speaker 1: scary part. The next interaction you have with someone may
Speaker 1: come from someone who exists in that space, and now
Speaker 1: they give you the energy from what they think is
Speaker 1: real for sure, and now you respond to that with
Speaker 1: negative energy and it compounds.
Speaker 2: So your next airport situation is going to be like,
Speaker 2: I can't believe you got getting in them full hole boys.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, And you in the hospital
Speaker 2: with some chick related you.
Speaker 1: See what I'm saying. And then and then your response,
Speaker 1: what the fuck are you talking about? And then she's like, oh,
Speaker 1: he cursed at me, and then it's like he has
Speaker 1: another bad incident at the airport. I'll tell you exactly
Speaker 1: how this happened. Remember when I was telling the stories
Speaker 1: about me getting stopped at the courthouse and how Zach
Speaker 1: gets the Valent trouble.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, there was a group.
Speaker 1: On Facebook that created this whole thing about how de
Speaker 1: val Got is getting too big for who he is,
Speaker 1: not realizing that the stories I'm telling this part of jokes,
Speaker 1: they're just they're jokes. Their stories. They are real stories,
Speaker 1: but it's jokes.
Speaker 2: They're saying that you're too big for who you are
Speaker 2: now because you wouldn't talk to people in court, or
Speaker 2: something like no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: The thing was they were just like, this is what
Speaker 1: happens when they didn't even listen to the story. The
Speaker 1: commentary came from the title that because remember I put
Speaker 1: Zach gets the vow in trouble, right, so the title
Speaker 1: was de val Ellis finds himself in court again amongst trouble.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, they.
Speaker 1: Use the clickbait to get people to click on it,
Speaker 1: not listening to the story. But then the commentary that
Speaker 1: ensued was just like these niggas get too big now
Speaker 1: to day and now he's in trouble. This is what happens.
Speaker 1: But then that becomes someone's reality that's not.
Speaker 2: Real of you, so that you're potentially losing support from
Speaker 2: someone because it's just like, oh, like what happened to
Speaker 2: humble de Val? No more? So I don't want to anymore? Ye.
Speaker 1: And when these people walking around with phones and they
Speaker 1: just capture parts of your life so that they can
Speaker 1: create a narrative for themselves, so that they can get clickbait.
Speaker 1: Not only are you stealing my likeness, but you are
Speaker 1: making it difficult for me and my family to move
Speaker 1: in certain spaces because you're creating a whole narrative that
Speaker 1: does not exist. And to me, that's my plea for people.
Speaker 1: Don't stop asking me for pictures, don't stop coming to
Speaker 1: get a selfie and get a hug, or give me
Speaker 1: words of encouragement or ask please please, let's interact together,
Speaker 1: but stop taking pictures of me and my family or
Speaker 1: taking small moments that don't belong to you to present
Speaker 1: to your audience as a way for you to get
Speaker 1: clickbaits and making it difficult for me. That's what bothers me,
Speaker 1: and the entitlement to feel like, well, you knew what
Speaker 1: it was when you signed up. Reminded me of the
Speaker 1: manager at Walmart when the lady said this was your job.
Speaker 1: You knew what it signed up like you honestly feel
Speaker 1: like you can curse that man out because he's the
Speaker 1: manager at Walmart. Just like you said the janitor. The
Speaker 1: janitors cleaning and people come by just throw stuff on
Speaker 1: the floor and you're like, man, can you just throw
Speaker 1: that in the garbage? Man? Do your job? You sign
Speaker 1: up for this, Like how you to people? No.
Speaker 2: I remember just recently we were at a Hawks game
Speaker 2: and someone came over to say hello. It was a
Speaker 2: fan came over to say hello to you and accidentally
Speaker 2: kicked your drink over. Yes, and it was like the
Speaker 2: whole floor was saturated where we were, and the one
Speaker 2: of the custodians came over with his mop to mop,
Speaker 2: and you took the mop from him and you mopped
Speaker 2: around my area in your area and handed it back
Speaker 2: to him and said hello, and he was just like, man,
Speaker 2: I watch your show and all that. So it was
Speaker 2: a little moment y'all exchanged and then he walked away.
Speaker 2: And then the young man that was sitting next to
Speaker 2: me was just like, wow, that was really nice of
Speaker 2: you to like take the mop and mop the floor,
Speaker 2: you know, and help him out in that moment, because
Speaker 2: most people wouldn't have done that. And I'm just like,
Speaker 2: people wouldn't have done that, Like you know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 2: it's just so innate for us to just service to people,
Speaker 2: be personable.
Speaker 1: See all people as humans, absolutely, see all people as humans.
Speaker 1: But the sad truth is a lot of people don't
Speaker 1: see quote unquote celebrities, and I hate, I hate even
Speaker 1: using that term. They don't see you as human. You're
Speaker 1: just always their entertainment and it doesn't matter if you're
Speaker 1: on TV or on the phone. Now your real life
Speaker 1: becomes their entertainment. We see it all the time. Where
Speaker 1: even with Cam Newton right getting assaulted, well, I can't
Speaker 1: say he got assaulted because he jumped three people. Y'all
Speaker 1: gotta realize it's too sometimes y'all see people and y'all
Speaker 1: don't realize how big and strong they are, and you
Speaker 1: say things in real life that you you probably only
Speaker 1: say in the comments section, and then you get dealt with.
Speaker 1: And now those young men are having a tour talking
Speaker 1: about what Cam did to them, and I'm just like, yo,
Speaker 1: we've seen the footage of y'all getting man handled.
Speaker 2: If you've seen him in person, there's no bone in
Speaker 2: my body that would make me think to fight or jump.
Speaker 2: Cam Newton man statute, Okay, he is legit.
Speaker 1: Sixty five two sixty and he used to shrug off
Speaker 1: NFL dns for a living. And those men are six
Speaker 1: y five, three hundred pounds and he's shrugging him off
Speaker 1: while holding onto the ball and looking downfield and you
Speaker 1: think that you're going to take down Cam Newton. But
Speaker 1: here's the thing. Even in that people were saying, yo,
Speaker 1: he Cam Newton, he talking, He talking trash, We talk trash.
Speaker 1: It comes with the territory. You Cam Newton, you come back,
Speaker 1: We're gonna talk trash to you.
Speaker 2: It's like, man, it's abuse.
Speaker 1: It is. No one signs up to take any job
Speaker 1: to get verbally abused all the time, or with a
Speaker 1: lot to cyber abused. No one signs up to get
Speaker 1: cyber abused. And I, for one have taken on the
Speaker 1: mantra that I'm not going to read the comments or
Speaker 1: I'm not going to read a lot of stuff, because
Speaker 1: even though ninety five percent of the comments we receive
Speaker 1: are kind from the people who really support us. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we love y'all, rock with us, and we always tell
Speaker 1: y'all if y'all see us in public, come say what's up.
Speaker 1: Let's get a pound, let's share some words, let's get
Speaker 1: a picture of a video. Yes, but there's always the
Speaker 1: five percent that's looking for their own way to make
Speaker 1: their mark, and sometimes it's easier for them to try
Speaker 1: to tear you down than to seext you and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: how can I do you think that? So?
Speaker 2: You know, back in the day, like we said, personal
Speaker 2: access to celebrities' lives or anything on their personal side
Speaker 2: was really a treat, like you couldn't get that often.
Speaker 2: But now with social media has created like this new
Speaker 2: kind of celebrity that thrives off of sharing more about
Speaker 2: their personal lives. You having access to the personal lives
Speaker 2: and feeling connected with them in that space for you,
Speaker 2: because I know that when I met you, you've always
Speaker 2: said that you wanted to be famous. Yes, so that
Speaker 2: way you can help people. That was like your biggest thing. Yes,
Speaker 2: And you didn't know at the time in what capacity
Speaker 2: that would be, but you just knew that that was
Speaker 2: your purpose. Now, in this day and age, with social
Speaker 2: media and people feeling entitled to you and your life
Speaker 2: and access, do you think you would have reconsidered wanting
Speaker 2: to be famous. No.
Speaker 1: I still want to be famous and even more powerful
Speaker 1: because I am inspired by people like Michael Jackson, like
Speaker 1: Will Smith, like Mahamad Ali who utilize their fame to
Speaker 1: be kind to people like I just want to be kind.
Speaker 1: Anyone who's ever met me in person will tell you
Speaker 1: I really just want to love on people, and I
Speaker 1: want to receive love and I want to show that
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter what your job description is, how much
Speaker 1: money you make, We're all just people. Bruce Lee was
Speaker 1: also somebody else who I inspired to be like was
Speaker 1: of the people. He was carried out of his movie
Speaker 1: to enter the dragon he was carrying at the Big Boss.
Speaker 1: He was carried out of the movie there in China
Speaker 1: by thousands of people in China, and he stayed there
Speaker 1: with the people. Like that, to me is the greatest
Speaker 1: power you have as a person. When you've made so
Speaker 1: much money and you have so much power, but you
Speaker 1: still have the ability to be of the people and
Speaker 1: connect with the people. That's true power. Because I also
Speaker 1: want to be able knowing where our people have come from,
Speaker 1: you know, Black American people, West Indian Black Americans. I
Speaker 1: want to be able to help those who don't have
Speaker 1: a voice.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I want to be a vessel, right. I want to
Speaker 1: be able to say and not always on large scales.
Speaker 1: But you've watched me do this at Prototype. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: young man deserves an opportunity in college. Yeah, it's going
Speaker 1: to cost a couple grand. Let me put a phone
Speaker 1: call in tell them who I am, and I'm going
Speaker 1: to support this young man, but we're also going to
Speaker 1: help them financially. And then we watch young men like
Speaker 1: that like Roger now own his own business and now
Speaker 1: mentoring a bunch of other people. You just hit me
Speaker 1: two weeks ago. It's a young Caribbean woman at Hofstra.
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So after doing the doc, reconnected with one of my
Speaker 2: Jamaican sisters over at Hofstra. She's also working there still,
Speaker 2: and she contacted me because it's a young lady. She said,
Speaker 2: it's brilliant, came up from Jamaica. She needs assistance, and
Speaker 2: she was like, you know, are you connected to anyone who?
Speaker 2: Does you know any kind of Caribbean society, scholarship funds
Speaker 2: or Jamaican specifically, And knowing that I have a good
Speaker 2: relationship with the Council General, she said, does she have
Speaker 2: any resources? And I was just like, what's her balance?
Speaker 2: Like what are we working with here? And she told
Speaker 2: me and I said, I'll cover it just like that, man,
Speaker 2: I'll cover it.
Speaker 1: Now, let me ask you a question, how did that feel?
Speaker 2: Amazing? This young lady wrote me the most beautiful email.
Speaker 1: I see you about to cry to you. I see
Speaker 1: you about to cry, but you see this feeling you have.
Speaker 1: This is why I would never regret wanting to be
Speaker 1: famous or wanting to be powerful, because not only did
Speaker 1: you give her something that she can tingently walk away
Speaker 1: and say, hey gave me this, but you also gave
Speaker 1: her inspiration because she's a Caribbean girl from an island,
Speaker 1: just like your mom. It grew up just like you.
Speaker 2: It literally made me think of my mother.
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: It made me think of my mom coming up here
Speaker 2: at what she was, seventeen, no help, the oldest of
Speaker 2: six parents are like, you got to go make something
Speaker 2: of yourself, figure it out. And now my mother was
Speaker 2: sleeping in random friends, you know, of family houses, getting
Speaker 2: locked out of places because she was out late studying.
Speaker 2: Like I literally saw my mom and that young lady
Speaker 2: and I was like, what does she need? And I said,
Speaker 2: you know what? And I asked her. After that, she
Speaker 2: was super grateful, sent me a beautifully well I'm like,
Speaker 2: people don't write this well anymore, you know, but it
Speaker 2: was a beautiful, well written email where she was super
Speaker 2: grateful and she said that she will make her point
Speaker 2: to make me and her family proud because she's so
Speaker 2: grateful for the help, and she was going to keep
Speaker 2: me abreast of because I was going to ask her
Speaker 2: to keep me abreast of her studies. I want to
Speaker 2: see your grades, Like that's the thing. If I'm going
Speaker 2: to be assisting, you have to do your part as
Speaker 2: well too. But knowing that my friend I vouched for her,
Speaker 2: it was just like she just she's such a good, good,
Speaker 2: good kid. I wanted to stay a breast of her grades,
Speaker 2: make sure that she's doing well, that she's okay, and
Speaker 2: then for future semesters, talking to her about what her
Speaker 2: plan is going to be to be able to get
Speaker 2: the financial assistance that she needs. So it's then putting
Speaker 2: against called. But then also too, this is not something
Speaker 2: that I'm doing and I'm blasting on social media like
Speaker 2: I haven't told anybody, you guys, I didn't even know
Speaker 2: you were going to talk about it today. But visiting
Speaker 2: that we, with our reach and with our resources, are
Speaker 2: able to do because that's the way. I don't even
Speaker 2: do it for the blessing that will come later. I
Speaker 2: do it for what it is in the moment, because
Speaker 2: people genuinely need help, and people genuinely are trying. Yes,
Speaker 2: you know, and I know what it was like going
Speaker 2: to school and trying to get the scholarship money and
Speaker 2: not wanting to be all on our parents and working,
Speaker 2: you know, to have our little side money to do
Speaker 2: whatever we wanted to do, and being able to graduate
Speaker 2: debt free from school. Like, those are things and blessings
Speaker 2: that I want other people to So, so.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you a question, Being as you could
Speaker 1: be a blessing to someone else, why would you ever
Speaker 1: regret the power you have? Now? That's why? And then
Speaker 1: nothing can deter me from it. No, nobody with a
Speaker 1: picture in an airport or a hospital can deter me
Speaker 1: from doing what I've been given an abundance right like
Speaker 1: God only one of another one of my favorite people
Speaker 1: is Bob Marley. Right when we went to go see
Speaker 1: his house in Jamaica and they talked about how Bob
Speaker 1: gave most of his as rich as away. People would
Speaker 1: stand outside his house and he would get they call
Speaker 1: it penance when he would just say whatever he had
Speaker 1: in the moment, he would give to the people. That's
Speaker 1: why God provides you with abundance. God does not provide
Speaker 1: you with abundance. Abundance to sit up on an ivory
Speaker 1: tower and tell everybody else how to do things. No,
Speaker 1: you can't take this when you die, it is not yours.
Speaker 1: So you have a responsibility to share everything. And when
Speaker 1: I say share everything, it's not just money, share your wisdom,
Speaker 1: share your kindness, but mostities share your humanity. You have
Speaker 1: to share your humanity. And that's why when we talk
Speaker 1: about decorum, it's not just about the chorum for people
Speaker 1: who who you inspire, but also the chorum from people
Speaker 1: who choose to inspire. Right, if you choose to be
Speaker 1: a celebrity and you're gonna go on your Instagram or TV,
Speaker 1: buy my books, buy my t shirts, watch my movies,
Speaker 1: go go, go, go go, And then when you see
Speaker 1: people give them poor energy because it's like I can't
Speaker 1: just talk to you.
Speaker 2: That fact is if you're untouchable or you're not reachable
Speaker 2: or tangible, like, that's wild.
Speaker 1: That's what. That's just as wild as the person that's
Speaker 1: going to hold up a phone right and record.
Speaker 2: You, right. And I get that people have off moments
Speaker 2: and they have off days, like, for example, what something
Speaker 2: I do when I travel And I'm like, you know what,
Speaker 2: say it is the six am flight that I'm Therefore,
Speaker 2: I'm at the airport four thirty in the morning, and
Speaker 2: I know, man, I'm a little funky right now. I
Speaker 2: haven't had my coffee. Like I just want to be
Speaker 2: left alone. I'll put a mask in a hoodie on
Speaker 2: and keep moving, you know what I'm saying, Like that's
Speaker 2: the beauty and coming out of the pandemic. You can
Speaker 2: wear a mask and people won't question you. But it's
Speaker 2: just me also not inviting that attention because I know
Speaker 2: in that moment I may not be in the mood
Speaker 2: for it, you know, so I think as it's just
Speaker 2: just just just read the moment to test the barometer
Speaker 2: in that moment and in that space and see is
Speaker 2: this the right time on either side to make that approach.
Speaker 1: It's funny you say that, right, because I didn't even
Speaker 1: think about this moment. But this is actually a very
Speaker 1: important moment. When you first walk in the delta part
Speaker 1: of the airport. There's a young lady who works at
Speaker 1: the kiosks. When not in the young I say young
Speaker 1: lady because she's she's about sixty something years old and
Speaker 1: she always say morning, a young lady. She sees me
Speaker 1: all the time because we traveled like four or five
Speaker 1: times a month, and she sees me early in the morning,
Speaker 1: she's me late at night. And she said to me
Speaker 1: one day, I took a picture with some people and
Speaker 1: she could tell my energy was low. Yeah, And she
Speaker 1: was just like, sweetheart, I talked to you for a minute,
Speaker 1: and I'm always going to give like my eligers the respect.
Speaker 1: Of course, I don't have a time. Of course. Of course.
Speaker 1: She was just like, your energy was low this morning,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, yeah, it was a little low.
Speaker 1: And she was just like, maybe sometimes it's okay for
Speaker 1: you to say no that you don't want to take
Speaker 1: any pictures because you keep giving to everyone. He said,
Speaker 1: every time you come in this airport, you get stopped
Speaker 1: a minute. You walk in here, and you're trying to
Speaker 1: give people. But sometimes it may be better for you
Speaker 1: not to give people low energy and just say maybe
Speaker 1: next time. And it kind of made me.
Speaker 2: Think, like, because you don't think that it's okay to
Speaker 2: say next.
Speaker 1: Time, yeah, I don't think it's okay to say ourselves.
Speaker 2: The other person she was and be like they probably
Speaker 2: think there won't be a next time, right, you know.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, if this is a moment again where
Speaker 2: our worlds collide, Like, why not just take the moment
Speaker 2: to be nice in this moment? At Tyler Perry's grand
Speaker 2: opening for the studio back in twenty nineteen, I walked
Speaker 2: alongside Beyonce. Y'all know how I feel? Yeah, Okay, walked
Speaker 2: alongside her. She looked at my dress. I looked at
Speaker 2: her dress. She was like, that's a nice dress. And
Speaker 2: I was like, thanks. That would have been my moment
Speaker 2: to be like, you know, the vomit of the mouth
Speaker 2: and just tell her all the things that I'm sure
Speaker 2: she's heard from people and everything. But I played it
Speaker 2: cool and I tell her thank you. I loved her
Speaker 2: dress too, and we just kept walking and you whenever
Speaker 2: you spoke to Jay and you was like you were like,
Speaker 2: we were like to talk to Beyonce like this is
Speaker 2: your moment, and I was just kind of like, you
Speaker 2: know what, No, she's enjoying this moment as well. There
Speaker 2: will be more moments when I'm going to see I already,
Speaker 2: just like I manifested that, I just put it out there.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm going to see her again, and I'm
Speaker 2: when I beat in the space where I'm in a
Speaker 2: better situation to have one on one time with her,
Speaker 2: to talk to her and say the things that I
Speaker 2: want to say to her. And that's just what I
Speaker 2: manifested because I could have in that moment just been
Speaker 2: like I'd have jumped on her back, girl to walk
Speaker 2: down the carpet together, you know what I'm saying. But
Speaker 2: I just did that. I know Julius was definitely close by,
Speaker 2: and even though it was a safe very like you know,
Speaker 2: contained space for everyone, I just felt like in that moment, like,
Speaker 2: you know what, let her let her enjoy. Yes, she
Speaker 2: probably gets that all the time, yeah, you know, and
Speaker 2: she did get that from a lot of people who
Speaker 2: were at that event as well too. But I just
Speaker 2: took it as a moment to say, you know what,
Speaker 2: I'm going to I'm going to have my moment with Beyonce.
Speaker 2: It's what happened. So but I can understand how people
Speaker 2: feel like this is my time, Like who would have thought.
Speaker 1: Moments I told the lady at the airport, I was
Speaker 1: just like yo, like yeah, I don't know, I talk,
Speaker 1: my energy is low, but I can't tell them no
Speaker 1: because what if I don't see him and then all
Speaker 1: they remember is the vout brushed me off for a picture. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and she said, she said, I could not be famous
Speaker 1: because these motherfuckers. I said, I know, but I told her,
Speaker 1: I said, but these motherfuckers also make me who I am.
Speaker 1: She was just like, that is true, that's true. She said,
Speaker 1: you can have all that, which to me is like
Speaker 1: an understanding. It's an understanding that I don't want that
Speaker 1: for me. The understanding is I do want that.
Speaker 2: So with that comes this, you know, to answer the
Speaker 2: question that I asked you if I would you know,
Speaker 2: in retrospect now, considering the way things are with social
Speaker 2: media and proximity and people feeling like they're entitled to
Speaker 2: you and your access, I think the only thing that
Speaker 2: I would have adjusted.
Speaker 1: Is the kids. The kids. I knew he's going to
Speaker 1: say that I feel the same way too, because they
Speaker 1: didn't ask for this.
Speaker 2: They didn't ask didn't ask this. And to be honest,
Speaker 2: when we started this whole social media thing, we didn't
Speaker 2: think it was gonna be all.
Speaker 1: This because social media wasn't this. It wasn't first started.
Speaker 2: It was like you had like three hundred followers, three
Speaker 2: thousand followers. You're like, okay, cool, but then you have
Speaker 2: one point three million people who then support now and
Speaker 2: it's like everybody feels like they know the children. They
Speaker 2: called him by name, like, but our kids know, like
Speaker 2: you don't answer to anyone calling your name, like you know,
Speaker 2: even in just their school environments, people know who they are.
Speaker 1: And I agree with you on that.
Speaker 2: People are super respectful. But that's my only like regret
Speaker 2: is involving the children. I would have been the one
Speaker 2: that was putting emojis over my kid's face. Now I
Speaker 2: get why some people are just like protective, They're going
Speaker 2: to post the back of their kids' heads and whatnot.
Speaker 2: You know, I'd be like, just don't post them at all.
Speaker 2: But you know, you know, people do what they want
Speaker 2: to do. I get it.
Speaker 1: Though the larger you get, the more popular famous you get,
Speaker 1: it is difficult on kids, you know. You know, I
Speaker 1: gotta say this. I watch what Bronnie goes through trying
Speaker 1: to be a young man navigate the world, and he
Speaker 1: gets so much hate from people. And the thing is
Speaker 1: they didn't have Bronnie in the media like that. He
Speaker 1: didn't have a social media page when he was ten
Speaker 1: and thirteen, and saying look at me, look at me,
Speaker 1: look at me was really keeping his head down and
Speaker 1: focused on working on his craft. But then you have
Speaker 1: hundreds of millions of people, yes, growing as adults, who
Speaker 1: just especially and once again, most of the audience supports Ronnie.
Speaker 1: But when most of the audience is one hundred and
Speaker 1: fifty million people, but then there's five million people who
Speaker 1: are praying on your downfall, it may not seem like
Speaker 1: a lot because you have one hundred and fifty million,
Speaker 1: but that five million constantly coming at you can be
Speaker 1: a lot. And watching him go through that as the
Speaker 1: reason why people ask me, howcome you don't have a
Speaker 1: social media just for the kids. I said, because that's
Speaker 1: not And people say, now, y'all don't show the kids
Speaker 1: as much. I'll cut back a lot on the kids.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, because they need to have their own
Speaker 1: space to decide if they want to take on that.
Speaker 1: They don't have to be inherit. They don't have to
Speaker 1: inherit that level of intrusiveness.
Speaker 2: It's true, and the people are still going to create
Speaker 2: their own stories anyway. At one point I remember someone
Speaker 2: commenting or saying that this is when I used to
Speaker 2: read the comments, like years ago. I don't do it anymore,
Speaker 2: especially after the whole debacle with our viral moment with
Speaker 2: the monogamy episode that me miscarrying our baby and all that.
Speaker 2: But prior to that, I remember saying, someone is saying, like,
Speaker 2: it's clear that I favor Cairo out of all of
Speaker 2: the boys. At this time, the Koda wasn't around. It
Speaker 2: was just Jackson, Chiro and Kaz. I favor Cairo because
Speaker 2: I post him more because and they don't post cash
Speaker 2: or something like that. And I was like, where the
Speaker 2: fuck did you get that from? I said, Cairo loves
Speaker 2: the camera. Cairo has been holding the camera in his
Speaker 2: phone since he was a year, speaking his little language
Speaker 2: and taking his own videos, and he loved it and
Speaker 2: it was entertaining for us, and we shared it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but then it made me feel like, damn, so here
Speaker 2: I am sharing our technically private family moments that I
Speaker 2: could just keep to myself. But I'm here spreading joy,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, the joy that I feel
Speaker 2: for my sons. And then there's a narrative going around
Speaker 2: that I have a favorite kid, like how did that happen?
Speaker 2: Cas is like fuck, y'all, Cavs could care less about
Speaker 2: the camera. And He's still like that to this day.
Speaker 2: So we let him rock because we're not stage parents.
Speaker 1: I mean even on stage in Atlanta. I was like,
Speaker 1: you want to come out with your brothers? I asked
Speaker 1: all of them. Yes, Kyral, you want to mic absolutely
Speaker 1: cays you want to say something nah nah, And that's
Speaker 1: just He's like, no, I'm good on that.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely. So a couple of facts in stats that
Speaker 2: Triple Uh found for us that we're going to use
Speaker 2: to round out this episode. Fandom facts and stats allows
Speaker 2: people with similar interest to form a supportive community that
Speaker 2: fosters feelings of acceptance for people involved. But toxic fandom
Speaker 2: can easily be created with fan groups because of the
Speaker 2: intense enthusiasm the fan community fosters and supports. Fandom becomes
Speaker 2: toxic when it starts to create possessiveness, entitlement, and feelings
Speaker 2: of superiority for fans that are of a certain art
Speaker 2: or artist. Now, how to act if you see a
Speaker 2: celebrity in public? And it's funny because, like Deval said,
Speaker 2: like we literally don't see ourselves celebrities.
Speaker 1: People still asks all the time, like yo, y'all just
Speaker 1: be walking in the airport, no security? Yes, because I
Speaker 1: still got to get on the plane like everybody. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I really just don't feel like.
Speaker 2: I need to have to go back to Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: And y'all be like, yes, to go to the corner store. Yes,
Speaker 1: I get my card, don I go. You know, I
Speaker 1: still go to court. I got a speeding ticket. I
Speaker 1: gotta go to court.
Speaker 2: We still do a lot of and people are like, well,
Speaker 2: can't you get somebody to do that for you? And
Speaker 2: I'm just like, but why I could do it? I'm here.
Speaker 1: But the truth is, though, even the judge told me
Speaker 1: when I went to court the last time, He's specific.
Speaker 1: He pulled me aside and said, you can't you have
Speaker 1: to have someone come in for you because I can't
Speaker 1: contain the court if people are going to be taking pictures.
Speaker 1: And I didn't realize if it was that big a deal.
Speaker 1: It is, And he said to me, he said that,
Speaker 1: you know, ordering the court is a thing, mister elis
Speaker 1: ordering the court. If I ask you if you're a celebrity.
Speaker 2: Jet that's my favorite. You can't handle the truth, that's
Speaker 2: not the favorite.
Speaker 1: He asked me. He was just like, if I ask you,
Speaker 1: if you're a celebrity, you have to tell me the
Speaker 1: truth because if it creates disorder in the court or
Speaker 1: creates a problem for safety for you some one else.
Speaker 1: For me, that's a problem. And that in that moment,
Speaker 1: I realized that he wasn't joking. And he was like,
Speaker 1: in the future, you can have an attorney step in
Speaker 1: in your place and he can do things like this.
Speaker 1: And he was dead serious. He was not saying yeah,
Speaker 1: he's telling you this is what you should do.
Speaker 2: And I was like, this is the protocol.
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, okay, well, I guess I have to listen,
Speaker 1: like if the judge is saying like this, And he
Speaker 1: asked me. He was just like, you don't think you're
Speaker 1: celebrity and I was like, no, he said, I can tell,
Speaker 1: and he said you'll probably be a celebrity a long
Speaker 1: time because of your humble attitude. But everyone back there
Speaker 1: and back in my office knows who you are. And
Speaker 1: clearly them three women there who are trying to take
Speaker 1: pictures and video know who you are. Right, So he's like,
Speaker 1: you can't ignore that. Yeah, And then he, you know,
Speaker 1: gave me my citation.
Speaker 2: So he didn't let you off.
Speaker 1: Knoed. He knocked it down. He knocked it down, so
Speaker 1: I didn't get any points on my license. But I
Speaker 1: was also a first time offected in Atlanta, so you know,
Speaker 1: and I paid a very hefty fine. Typically that's what
Speaker 1: it is. It is about paying the fine. But he
Speaker 1: didn like remind me of that, and like you can't
Speaker 1: take for granted the fact that you have. It's good counsel.
Speaker 2: So how to act if you see a celebrity in public,
Speaker 2: Be polite and act normal. Celebrities know they're famous.
Speaker 1: They don't.
Speaker 2: They'll appreciate being treated like regular people, which is it's true.
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 2: I do like that and be polite and normal because
Speaker 2: we're gonna be polite and normal too. It's funny when
Speaker 2: people come up to you and expect you to be
Speaker 2: Zach or they expect us to be like Devalan KaDee,
Speaker 2: like when we're doing sin as actors, and then when
Speaker 2: they see that, like we don't have that like high energy,
Speaker 2: sometimes they're just like, y'all good. I'm like, yeah, we're good.
Speaker 2: We're just trying to catch a flight, like you know,
Speaker 2: just out to eat, you know, normal stuff.
Speaker 1: What you want to drop it?
Speaker 2: They would I would don't touch them. That's the next one.
Speaker 2: Would you like a stranger to touch you without permission.
Speaker 2: Consent is required for everyone. Touching is probably my least
Speaker 2: favorite thing because I'm a huge germaphobe. But if you
Speaker 2: want to ask for a hug, or you want to
Speaker 2: give me a pound or high five or whatever it
Speaker 2: may be, your arm around the shoulder for a photo,
Speaker 2: just ask. It's all good you.
Speaker 1: It's very different for women because there is a dynamic
Speaker 1: care of abuse and abuse with women in society. So
Speaker 1: I understand where you're coming from. Me personally, women come
Speaker 1: up and run up and hug me, and they glad
Speaker 1: me and stuff. I embrace them and you know, take
Speaker 1: pictures and stuff because I know the excitement. I don't
Speaker 1: feel intimidated, you know, buy it. But I do understand
Speaker 1: where you're coming from because as a woman, you don't
Speaker 1: want some dude just come up and just hug you
Speaker 1: like that. There's definitely a power dynamic there. So for me,
Speaker 1: the whole don't touch me thing, I'm not as like
Speaker 1: That's like women will come up and just want to
Speaker 1: hug me. Dudes to come up and be like yo,
Speaker 1: and they'll go to slap me a pound, and I'll
Speaker 1: slap and pug and will embrace and they'll like hug me,
Speaker 1: and they'll look at me and it'll hug me again
Speaker 1: and they'll be like, yo, like you like a real person.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, dude, like that's I'm a person. Just
Speaker 1: just know that and anything I can do, you can do.
Speaker 1: So just think about that.
Speaker 2: That's great transfer of energy to I'm a little bit
Speaker 2: more just like germophobe like that does always touch people.
Speaker 2: And I have always been that way, y'all since like early. Okay,
Speaker 2: respect their privacy. Everyone does not need to know a
Speaker 2: celebrities in the vicinity. A private situation in a public
Speaker 2: place i e. A hospital visis shouldn't have be exploited
Speaker 2: or shared. That was and we have had people who
Speaker 2: come over and they'll whisper, I'm not gonna make it hot,
Speaker 2: and we appreciate that people do that. We appreciate y'all.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna make it hot, but I see you,
Speaker 2: I love you, and we're always like we love so
Speaker 2: that's always funny. Don't take photos and videos without their permission.
Speaker 2: This is rude, weird, and inappropriate. Consent is required for everyone.
Speaker 1: Again, and that's not just for celebrities, because I've seen
Speaker 1: take pictures of other people in public, and they sometimes
Speaker 1: do it to make fun of and that you shouldn't
Speaker 1: do that. Man, that's that's messed up, y'all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, tell them who you are. If the situation is
Speaker 2: appropriate for a conversation, introduce yourself. Tell them why you
Speaker 2: love their work. Everyone loves a good compliment, and stay calm.
Speaker 2: At the end of the day. Celebrities are just regular
Speaker 2: people like we are regular people. We promise, y'all. Definitely
Speaker 2: definitely all right, let's take a quick break and we're
Speaker 2: gonna move into listener letters after we get into these as,
Speaker 2: so stick around, y'all, all right, and we're back for
Speaker 2: listener letter trime, and then we'll wrap it up with
Speaker 2: a moment of truth. Hey, Deval and Kadeen, I want
Speaker 2: to take the time to say thank you for setting good,
Speaker 2: healthy black relationships for other generations while also asking for
Speaker 2: some advice. I'm I'm twenty eight years old and my boyfriend,
Speaker 2: also the father of my kids, is turning thirty this year.
Speaker 2: We have two beautiful daughters who are five and under.
Speaker 2: I love my daughters unconditionally, but their attitudes trying my patience.
Speaker 2: That's why I had no daughter's child because God already
Speaker 2: knew that maybe i'd been hemming up some chicks up
Speaker 2: in here. Not the issue this year, though, I have
Speaker 2: been doing some self reflecting and straight and ask him
Speaker 2: straight up does he think I need to be softer?
Speaker 2: His answer his answer instantly was yes. Now my question
Speaker 2: is how do I do that? I work full time,
Speaker 2: pretty much do everything with my girls. He's the fun parent.
Speaker 2: But just realizing I don't know how to show my
Speaker 2: softness without feeling like a pushover and being soft with
Speaker 2: the wrong things, and also wanting to be able to
Speaker 2: show my daughter a healthy relationship. Recently, my four that
Speaker 2: there's like no period here, so I'm trying to figure
Speaker 2: out what this ends. Recently, my four almost five year
Speaker 2: old started paying more attention and asking why we aren't
Speaker 2: married yet, And I think this plays a big part
Speaker 2: of it. He said, he doesn't want to get married,
Speaker 2: just proposing on his own timeline. Please let me know.
Speaker 1: Oh he said he does want to get married. He does.
Speaker 2: Oh, he said he does want to get married, just
Speaker 2: proposing on his own timeline. Okay, so, like most of
Speaker 2: you said, most men have their timeline. Please let me
Speaker 2: know something. First of all, we need punctuation because this
Speaker 2: is literally a big paragraph of words. But I get
Speaker 2: the gist here is that she feels like she cannot
Speaker 2: tap into her feminine soft side because she is working
Speaker 2: full time and doing all the things and getting caught
Speaker 2: into the routine. So I think her question is, or
Speaker 2: possibly one of the questions here is part of the
Speaker 2: way she's not soft because she's not married, you know.
Speaker 2: And then she don't want to set an example for
Speaker 2: her daughter.
Speaker 1: Well, there's a lot of things here. The first thing,
Speaker 1: the first thing I see is she says, I love
Speaker 1: my daughters unconditionally, but their attitudes trying my patience. Attitudes
Speaker 1: are learned behaviors. You got to ask yourself where did
Speaker 1: your daughters learn that attitude? That's the main thing. I
Speaker 1: had to learn that as a father, Right, certain things
Speaker 1: about my son's used to get on my nerves. And
Speaker 1: I used to say to mysel Remember I said, children
Speaker 1: is the greatest reflection. And then you look and you
Speaker 1: be like, oh he learned that from me?
Speaker 2: He sure it is. And it's like, like, I think
Speaker 2: some things are innate, Like you know how some kids
Speaker 2: might be the sassier one. She's like, why is this
Speaker 2: one like that? One particularly got a little edge to them.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, But you're right, a lot
Speaker 2: of it is learned, Like I've even seen it now
Speaker 2: that I reflect as an adult, like, wow, the way
Speaker 2: I deal with things or say things sometimes it's a
Speaker 2: direct reflection of how we used to communicate in my house. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so that's true.
Speaker 1: That's the first thing she has to ask herself. You know,
Speaker 1: do you if your daughter's attitudes try your patients? How
Speaker 1: will your daughter's attitudes try their partner's patients in the future.
Speaker 1: And if you want to be a good example, how
Speaker 1: can you be a better example so that your daughters
Speaker 1: don't go through what it seems like you're going through.
Speaker 1: Because she asked her husband, do you think I can
Speaker 1: be soft? And he immediately said yes, which means this
Speaker 1: is something he probably feels the same way about your
Speaker 1: attitude that you feel about your daughter's attitudes.
Speaker 2: I'm wondering if this feeling of not being able to
Speaker 2: be soft in this moment of your life is a
Speaker 2: byproduct of your childhood and how you were raised, Like
Speaker 2: did you feel like you had to be more assertive?
Speaker 2: Did your mom raise you to be the independent woman
Speaker 2: that don't need nothing, that wants to be in charge
Speaker 2: of everything and has the final say, Like was that
Speaker 2: a a part of what your life looked like when
Speaker 2: you were growing up or was that learned behavior? Do
Speaker 2: you feel like you had to get like that because
Speaker 2: your husband, or not your husband, but the father of
Speaker 2: your children, who you eventually want to marry. Is he
Speaker 2: more of the quiet type, that's more of the pushover?
Speaker 2: You know, I'm wondering what the dynamic is of their
Speaker 2: relationship and why he's the fun dad, you know, or
Speaker 2: the fun parent, where you're the one that's always the
Speaker 2: serious one, because nobody really likes to always be like
Speaker 2: the kill joy either.
Speaker 1: No. And I know part of this with dads, Like
Speaker 1: they're young girls, they're five and four. It's hard to relate.
Speaker 1: You've never been a young girl before, so it's like,
Speaker 1: how do I, as a grown man, relate with my daughter.
Speaker 1: It's difficult for some men to find that space to relate.
Speaker 1: So it's like I leave it, leave them with their
Speaker 1: mom until they can grow up, and then we can
Speaker 1: get them together. You know. I see some men do that,
Speaker 1: but I am interested in knowing, Like if she goes
Speaker 1: to work all day and she's with the kids, is
Speaker 1: he not providing a space for her to be See.
Speaker 2: That was going to be my question. I'm saying, like
Speaker 2: she did not have the comfort or to try to
Speaker 2: be soft.
Speaker 1: Right, But what I'm saying is is like she also
Speaker 1: said that they've had financial issues. He said he's winning
Speaker 1: on his own timeline. So clearly the financial reasons are
Speaker 1: the reasons why he hasn't proposed yet. True, but if
Speaker 1: the reason, but if him not proposing is also getting
Speaker 1: her agitated and making her not soft, that's something that
Speaker 1: they need to.
Speaker 2: Discuss to see what I'm saying, layer effect. Yeah, it
Speaker 2: could be a layered effect.
Speaker 1: You're providing anxiousness you think. To be honest, it might
Speaker 1: not even be anxiousness. It might be resentment. Now like
Speaker 1: they have two kids, they're both under five, five and four,
Speaker 1: but it's like, hey, we have two children, like we're
Speaker 1: doing the house thing. How come you haven't made me
Speaker 1: your wife? That is not anxiousness now, it's resentment. Resentment
Speaker 1: makes you hard.
Speaker 2: Or she might have the philosophy where I'm not doing
Speaker 2: wife things until I'm a wife, so I'm going to
Speaker 2: continue to move like a woman who's independent and single ish,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Or in a relationship, yes,
Speaker 2: but not which is the marriage, which is very true,
Speaker 2: and she might be reserving that for when they finally
Speaker 2: do get married. That might be part of her philosophy.
Speaker 1: Too, which can be difficult because I know some people
Speaker 1: say you reserve wife activities for when you and wife,
Speaker 1: but then you won't accept a man reserving husband activity
Speaker 1: till we become husband. You expect a man to be
Speaker 1: a husband, so that you know what I'm saying, people
Speaker 1: have to sit down and have conversations about what they
Speaker 1: require even before they get married. Show me how we're
Speaker 1: going to live together. This whole wait until we get married.
Speaker 1: Then until to me doesn't make any sense because I'm
Speaker 1: not going to sit back and hope that once we
Speaker 1: get married you changed to be the person that I expect.
Speaker 1: I want to see that you can be that because
Speaker 1: you want to be that, so hopefully.
Speaker 2: Early on with you and I like, I treated you
Speaker 2: like your husband, like my husband. But that was just innate,
Speaker 2: Like I feel like I wanted to take care of
Speaker 2: my man. That's my point, and it wasn't me just
Speaker 2: trying to you know, hold on to this like put
Speaker 2: my feet in the cement. And I'm like I'm not
Speaker 2: going to budge because you haven't put a ring on
Speaker 2: it yet. Even when we were debating about being engaged
Speaker 2: and like the timeline for being married, and you told
Speaker 2: me you had a plan, and I didn't necessarily know
Speaker 2: what your plan was or know your timeline, nor did
Speaker 2: I agree with it. That didn't take away from me
Speaker 2: still taking care of you.
Speaker 1: You know it didn't. And he also showed me. You
Speaker 1: also said it when you felt like it was taking
Speaker 1: too long, like divo, I don't want to be your
Speaker 1: living girlfriend. Yeah, and you has said at that point,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to just stay here and be a
Speaker 1: living girlfriend. You didn't say I'm not going to treat
Speaker 1: you the way you should be treated. Yeah, you just
Speaker 1: said the vow. This doesn't work for me, and I
Speaker 1: had to make a decision. Sometimes couples just have to
Speaker 1: have that conversation. And I treated you like you and
Speaker 1: my wife to hear me, yeah we did. We been
Speaker 1: doing that since we were eighteen. So yeah, I mindset.
Speaker 2: But yeah, good luck to you. And I think just
Speaker 2: have the conversations with him. I think there's some like
Speaker 2: underlying like just questions and clarity that probably could be
Speaker 2: worked out and could come to the surface if you
Speaker 2: have those conversations with him and see how he's going
Speaker 2: to be willing to help you get into that soft era.
Speaker 2: All right, good luck to you assists.
Speaker 1: Second question today, Question number two Derek, Kadeen and de Val.
Speaker 1: I've been listening to Pop Cash from the beginning, and
Speaker 1: even though me and my boyfriend aren't married as of yet,
Speaker 1: our relationship started when we were kids too, eighteen to
Speaker 1: be exact, just like us. Most people will say we're
Speaker 1: still kids in our early twenties, but we've been together
Speaker 1: five years now, and there's one thing I can't seem
Speaker 1: to shake. I feel less than a, not an equal
Speaker 1: to my man. Let me explain. Since day one, he
Speaker 1: has known what his plan of life was going to be.
Speaker 1: He was fresh off the boat, as I like to say,
Speaker 1: when we met coming from Jamaica. His first plan with
Speaker 1: college didn't go as planned, but being the great man
Speaker 1: he is, got straight to the second plan and started working.
Speaker 1: All while he was putting his plan to action, I
Speaker 1: was a struggling first generation college student and a working
Speaker 1: one at that. He was there for me through my
Speaker 1: rough times and even encouraged me to look for alternatives
Speaker 1: to four year college since I was having such a
Speaker 1: hard time, which I did, but ended up leaving college
Speaker 1: and going into the workforce full time. Fast forward about
Speaker 1: two years and twenty twenty three, he is in his
Speaker 1: career path and supports both of us financially and manages
Speaker 1: to help out his family as well. Meanwhile, I'm stuck
Speaker 1: in the same place. I don't know what the hell
Speaker 1: to do with myself. I've tried entrepreneurship and it has
Speaker 1: a lot of up and downs. Yes, it is and
Speaker 1: makes the experience less desirable to me. I've considered going
Speaker 1: back to school, but honestly, I don't want to put
Speaker 1: more pressure on my boyfriend, being that we live together
Speaker 1: and he already does so much for our household. I
Speaker 1: also am having a hard time finding a career path
Speaker 1: that I truly would enjoy and find purpose. Luckily, my
Speaker 1: boyfriend supports any decision. I don't even got to hear
Speaker 1: this no more. Let me tell you something, Mama, Let
Speaker 1: me tell you something, Mama. Your life will not be
Speaker 1: defined by this moment right here. Yes, when Kadeen and
Speaker 1: I first wait, when we first graduated from college, we
Speaker 1: were in the NFL. When I say we, it's because
Speaker 1: we did it together. I made all the money. She
Speaker 1: was a stay at home I got cut. We need insurance.
Speaker 1: Ka working, I'm gonna stay at home, right, Kay working,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stay at home. I get my second job,
Speaker 1: doing acting, doing all this other stuff. Kay, you stay
Speaker 1: at home. I'm working. Now, we're doing all this other stuff.
Speaker 1: We both making a lot of money. Living a life
Speaker 1: was great, right. I told Kay, I don't want to
Speaker 1: do certain things no more. Ky, So well, I pick
Speaker 1: up that end of just like, and I'll make the
Speaker 1: money so that we don't miss out on it. The
Speaker 1: purpose of the story is to tell you that they
Speaker 1: are going to be seasons for both of you in life.
Speaker 1: Right now, this may just be his season, Marama. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but that don't mean that your season is not coming.
Speaker 1: You just have to be diligent and trust that you
Speaker 1: have a man that's going to support you through your
Speaker 1: downtimes and when you up, he gonna support you when
Speaker 1: you up. Because that's what me and Kay did. It's
Speaker 1: been a back and forth. There's never just a one person.
Speaker 1: I never felt less than when K was handling stuff.
Speaker 1: I never made K feel less than when I was
Speaker 1: handling stuff. That's what the partnership is about.
Speaker 2: That's a fact. I mean, yeah, I think you just
Speaker 2: said everything perfectly. I know her feeling, but yes, and
Speaker 2: I was going to say, I know what it's like
Speaker 2: to be in your twenties and you're just on the
Speaker 2: fence about what it is that I should do. The
Speaker 2: fact that you have a boyfriend who is super supportive
Speaker 2: and has figured hisself out like some people are just
Speaker 2: born that way, Like some people are born knowing like
Speaker 2: this is what I want to do. They figured it
Speaker 2: out and then they go directly towards that path. Yep,
Speaker 2: you can still take the time to figure it out.
Speaker 2: But the great thing about it is that you don't
Speaker 2: have the stress having to worry about overhead and things
Speaker 2: that normal people would have to worry about that don't
Speaker 2: have that support.
Speaker 1: Just don't get complacent.
Speaker 2: I was literally about to say that. I said, the
Speaker 2: only problem with that is that and I can see
Speaker 2: because I've been there and it has happened to me
Speaker 2: in certain circumstances where Deval has taken care of so
Speaker 2: much that I was like, well, I mean, I could
Speaker 2: take another day or two, or week or months to
Speaker 2: put the wheels into motion, and what I want to
Speaker 2: do because I don't have to. Most people with their
Speaker 2: backs against the walls have no choice. Like you said,
Speaker 2: your boyfriend came up from Jamaica, Like we know what
Speaker 2: that is like, back against the wall. Gotta come up here,
Speaker 2: make something of myself. There's no other way. But when
Speaker 2: you do have the leisure of some or the opportunity
Speaker 2: where someone is taking care of those, you know, those
Speaker 2: fiscal things that tend to be an issue, then you
Speaker 2: tend to get complacent. So whatever it is, figure it out,
Speaker 2: work towards it, but support him in the process if
Speaker 2: he's the one that's up. Because Deval and I literally
Speaker 2: work on a system where whoever is better equipped in
Speaker 2: that moment, whoever has the opportunity in that moment, it's
Speaker 2: everybody rally around it. Devour booked sisters, what do you need, babe.
Speaker 2: Everybody rallies around him in this moment to be as
Speaker 2: successful as he can or needs to be in this moment. Kadeen,
Speaker 2: you got this going on. Everybody rally around her to
Speaker 2: make sure that she is in the best situation to
Speaker 2: be successful and just keep doing that. The reciprocity in
Speaker 2: that is the beauty. So good luck to you. And
Speaker 2: if you want to be featured as one of our
Speaker 2: listener letters, email us at Deadass Advice at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: We're a couple of seasons into the dead Ass podcast
Speaker 2: and we just absolutely love hearing from you guys.
Speaker 1: That's right. That's D E A D A S S
Speaker 1: A D V I C E at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: All right, moment of truth. We're talking about fame and
Speaker 2: fam fan decorum and what that looks like and how
Speaker 2: there's like a tandem that goes on, you know, between
Speaker 2: fan and the celebrity symbol. What does that look like? Baby?
Speaker 2: For you your moment of truth.
Speaker 1: We are all people. No one, no matter what their
Speaker 1: job is, signs up to be your entertainment all the time.
Speaker 1: Respect each other as people. If you're a fan, you
Speaker 1: have to respect the celebrity as a person, give them
Speaker 1: some space or time to be able to interact. If
Speaker 1: you're a celebrity, respect the fan as a person and
Speaker 1: understand the humanity that comes with that person who supports
Speaker 1: you all the time. So there's going to be a
Speaker 1: level of excitement. If both people can see the humanity
Speaker 1: and that interaction, we will all be fine.
Speaker 2: Everybody will be fine, all right, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: That's a good one, babe. I guess my moment of
Speaker 2: truth in this moment is whether you are someone who's
Speaker 2: in the fame and spotlight or you're a supporter, think
Speaker 2: about how you'd like to be treated or approach in
Speaker 2: that moment, you know, because again, the energy that you
Speaker 2: put out is likely the energy that you're going to receive.
Speaker 2: Absolutely on the back end, and just know that you're
Speaker 2: not entitled to anything from anybody. Anything that you have
Speaker 2: in terms of an interaction with someone is out of
Speaker 2: the goodness and good nature of their heart and spirit
Speaker 2: in that moment. Nobody is entitled to anything when it
Speaker 2: comes to personal space. So just keep that in mind
Speaker 2: and continue to love on Deval and I. When you
Speaker 2: see us in person, say hello, yes, come, say if
Speaker 2: you want to, ask for the picture, ask for the picture,
Speaker 2: make sure I got a filter, okay, and all that
Speaker 2: good stuff. But we we welcome the love. We genuinely do,
Speaker 2: and we thank y'all so much. We couldn't do without you.
Speaker 2: And we see it all the time.
Speaker 1: We say it all the time, lem.
Speaker 2: And we live and it's not I'm not saying this
Speaker 2: just because I'm about to ask y'all to find us
Speaker 2: on Patreon. I say, at the end of every show, y'all,
Speaker 2: y'all know the script already, but find us on Patreon
Speaker 2: to say exclusive dead Ass podcast video content as well
Speaker 2: as more Ellis Family content. And you can find us
Speaker 2: on social media at dead Ass the Podcast on Instagram
Speaker 2: and I am Kadine, I am and I am Devout.
Speaker 1: And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts or to rate review,
Speaker 1: subscribe and get your copy of We Over Meet the
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Speaker 1: your relationship.
Speaker 2: Still getting the books and reading them. I love it, yes, ma'am,
Speaker 2: I love it. I love it.
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