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Speaker 1: People sometimes and you see your favorite celebrities, the energy

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Speaker 1: you get from them is the energy you gave off first.

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Speaker 2: Ooh yeah, deadass, even the nicest of people. Right, Yes,

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Speaker 2: And sometimes it just may not be the right time

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Speaker 2: to approach someone. So when do you know when the

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Speaker 2: right time is?

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Speaker 1: Dead ass? Deadass?

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Speaker 2: Hey, I'm Kadan and I'm Devoured and we're the Ellis's.

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Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos with our.

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Speaker 2: Voice and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.

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Speaker 1: Wait, I make you need therapy most days? Wow?

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Speaker 2: Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes.

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Speaker 1: Sir, we are. We created this podcast to open dialogue

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Speaker 1: about some of li's most taboo topics.

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Speaker 2: Things most folks don't want to talk about.

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Speaker 1: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass

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Speaker 1: is a term that we say every day. So when

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Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred

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Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

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Speaker 1: We about to take pilot off to our whole new level.

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Speaker 2: Dead ass starts right now.

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Speaker 1: All right, story Tom, I'm gonna paint the backdrop so

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Speaker 1: that people can understand what happened and where we got

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Speaker 1: to how we got to this point and how it

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Speaker 1: could have gone wrong. Okay, so one of my close

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Speaker 1: friends just recently moved down to Atlanta, and he moved

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Speaker 1: down with his wife and his daughter, and his other

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Speaker 1: daughter was coming down a few weeks later. They had

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Speaker 1: all that stuff delivered in pods. The pod messed up

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Speaker 1: the order and was fourteen days behind. They were supposed

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Speaker 1: to be there a day after. All of her medication

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Speaker 1: because she has asthma, was in the pods. They were

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Speaker 1: expecting the pods to come the next day. She ran

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Speaker 1: out of medication and didn't expect to not have her medication.

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Speaker 1: So she's like, you know what, I'm chilling home for

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Speaker 1: a little bit, but slowly but surely she has bad asthma.

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Speaker 1: Her breathing was getting worse. She didn't realize how bad

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Speaker 1: it was gonna get because she never lived in Atlanta before,

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Speaker 1: and as you know, piling out here is bad, ragweed

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Speaker 1: is bad. It was coming off cold and flu season,

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Speaker 1: so a lot of people have the heat blasting in

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Speaker 1: the house. She didn't realize, but she was getting really,

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Speaker 1: really sick. Ultimately developed a lung infection. At the time,

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Speaker 1: we didn't know it was a lung infection, but just

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Speaker 1: want to paint the backdrop. I had tickets to the

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Speaker 1: basketball game. He had just moved down here. Me and

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Speaker 1: Kay had just flown back from doing Sherry Sheppard. So

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Speaker 1: I was like, Yo, I don't want these tickets these

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Speaker 1: basketball games. You and wifey go to the basketball game.

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Speaker 1: He's like, all I bet calls me, says, yo, d wifey.

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Speaker 1: She don't feel too good. I'm just go to the

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Speaker 1: basketball game. Can you just check in on her? I

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Speaker 1: was like cool because they lived right by us. So

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Speaker 1: me and Kay literally just laying off the plane. I called.

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Speaker 1: I said, Yo, how you feeling. She's like, can barely talk.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, you don't sound good. Are you sure

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Speaker 1: you're okay? And she's just like no, I'm not okay.

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Speaker 1: I said, you want to go to the hospital. She says,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna try to go to an urgent. She tries

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Speaker 1: to go to the urgent care. I'm in constant contact

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Speaker 1: with her, me and k both in the car now right,

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Speaker 1: and she's sounded words. I hear her crying because she said,

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Speaker 1: Devoted urgent care is closed. They sent me to another

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Speaker 1: one their an capacity. We just moved down here, I

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Speaker 1: don't know which hospital go to. So me and kay

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Speaker 1: Kay immediately says, Yo, buss a U turn, We're gonna

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Speaker 1: go pick her up, take her to the hospital. We

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Speaker 1: go to the urgent care. We pick her up, get

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Speaker 1: to the hospital. K is in there because we pull

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Speaker 1: up right in Mercy, and this is asthma we're talking about.

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Speaker 1: At the time, we don't know she has a lung infection.

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Speaker 1: But I grew up with one of my closest cousins, Porsche,

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Speaker 1: had asthma, and one of my closest front Gasvin, has asthma.

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Speaker 1: And I've been with them where they will find one

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Speaker 1: minute and in the next minute there's an er run

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Speaker 1: or there's an ambulance being caught because they can't breathe.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing about a buck forty on the highway to

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Speaker 1: get her to the hospital. Like I'm nervous. She's nervous.

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Speaker 1: Ks looking at me like yo, like she has to

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Speaker 1: be okay. We get to the hospital, We walk up,

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Speaker 1: she registers and she's you know, lightheaded whole like I'm

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Speaker 1: my arm around her. We sit down so she can

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Speaker 1: fill out the paperwork while I sit down so she

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Speaker 1: can fill out the paperwork. I'm holding her to make

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Speaker 1: sure she's okay. I see a lady across from me

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Speaker 1: tap another lady, and in this moment, I've already been

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Speaker 1: in this situation so many times they recognize who I am.

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Speaker 1: After tapping the other lady, I go back up to

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Speaker 1: the office, said, hey, we have a breathing issue. They say, oh,

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Speaker 1: it's a cold red we have a breathing issue outside.

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Speaker 1: So I'm back down there. I'm holding her, rubbing her

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Speaker 1: back while she filled the paperwork. I noticed the lady

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Speaker 1: has now has her phone up and she's scanning in

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Speaker 1: our direction.

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Speaker 2: And I'm in the car.

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Speaker 1: Yes, you're in the car, And all I can think

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Speaker 1: about in this moment is these people are probably saying, ooh,

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Speaker 1: look at the valve in the hospital with a woman

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Speaker 1: who's not k you know what I'm saying, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: get this on camera. I decide in that moment not

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Speaker 1: to respond, even though I was fucking pissed, right And

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Speaker 1: because my friend here cannot breathe. Now, my brother who's

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Speaker 1: moving out here, I've known him since he was ten

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Speaker 1: years old and I was fourteen, So we're talking about

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Speaker 1: thirty plus years of friendship and this is his wife.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, fucked all of the bullshit they call us

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Speaker 1: in the back of escort to the room, I'm worried

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Speaker 1: about her. They said, we got her stable Devale. We're

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Speaker 1: gonna you know, she has a slight fever. You know,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna make sure she's good. Boom. I said, Hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go take K home so she can got

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Speaker 1: the kids. Mind you, their daughter was at our house,

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Speaker 1: so we're all doing this together as a family. So

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Speaker 1: I walk her in the back. I come out. When

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Speaker 1: I come out, the lady stands up. She goes zach Zach.

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Speaker 1: I was like really, like really, you know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: And she's like, oh, it's cool. School, it's cool. You know,

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Speaker 1: where's K. I'm like, yo, I got to take K home.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm trying to still be a polite quote unquote celebrity,

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Speaker 1: because to be honest, for me, at this point, it's

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Speaker 1: still like super brand new. I said, she's in the car.

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Speaker 1: She said, oh, okay, okay, you'll be back. I'll get

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Speaker 1: you when you come back. No, you fucking won't like. No,

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Speaker 1: you won't like. And the thing that bothered me the

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Speaker 1: most is that I could tell the way people ask questions, right,

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Speaker 1: It wasn't an old whizz k let me get a picture?

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Speaker 1: The question was like an old where's k? As if

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Speaker 1: you got me, you caught me doing.

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Speaker 2: Something right that you shouldn't have been doing.

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Speaker 1: Right when I'm walking out, and then when she looks around,

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Speaker 1: she sees.

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Speaker 2: The car with you because I literally pulled into the

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Speaker 2: little like a circle just to let you guys, and

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Speaker 2: I jumped into the driver's seat because I was waiting

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Speaker 2: for you to let me know. Was it going to

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Speaker 2: be something quick? Was you know, your friend on his

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Speaker 2: way to be with his wife, like what we're doing next?

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Speaker 2: I know that their daughter who's also too you know

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Speaker 2: what's on the way to our house? Like this is

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Speaker 2: a lot going a lot one time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And to be honest, the reason why we're not

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Speaker 1: saying their names because they don't you know, they're not

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Speaker 1: public figures. And what we've learned even through our podcast

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Speaker 1: is that we'll mention the story. We may say a

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Speaker 1: first name of something, and then that person becomes the

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Speaker 1: target of other people's investigation.

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Speaker 2: Are there are times where we haven't said names and

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Speaker 2: people just try to put a story together and then be.

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Speaker 1: Wrong and be wrong, dead wrong dead wrong.

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Speaker 2: Dead wrong. We got a call from someone was like,

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Speaker 2: did you say something about something that I was like that.

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Speaker 1: Had nothing to do with you.

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Speaker 2: It was like some completely other person. But people be

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Speaker 2: trying to put sh it together that don't belong together.

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Speaker 1: And the way babe, the way she asked, she's a whiskadeen.

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Speaker 1: And but here's the thing. People act as if I

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Speaker 1: still can't tell their recording, Like you have your phone

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Speaker 1: by your chest, and this is just for y'all. Watch them.

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Speaker 1: When you have your phone by the chest and you're

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Speaker 1: scanning as I'm walking by, that's not a normal phone movement.

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Speaker 1: I can tell you recorded. So when you ask where's

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Speaker 1: Ka and I say, oh, she's in the car, and

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Speaker 1: then you turn and then you see that.

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Speaker 2: She is in the car, it's like, oh, let me

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Speaker 2: get all this footage so I can you know what

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Speaker 2: I'm saying, we can corroborate his stories.

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Speaker 1: It's like, YO, moment, like I'm having a very personal

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Speaker 1: private moment. My friend could possibly be dying, you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. We find out later she had a

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Speaker 1: lung infection, and if she would have stayed home and

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Speaker 1: went to sleep, there could have been a lot of

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Speaker 1: difficulty with her breathing, so we did the right thing,

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Speaker 1: got her to the hospital. But in that moment, we're

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Speaker 1: not thinking like celebrities like you know, but we'll we'll

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Speaker 1: continue the story when we come back and the dissect

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Speaker 1: why this has become an issue for not only us

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Speaker 1: before a lot of people we know karaoke time. So

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Speaker 1: now we're back and this song is very simple song.

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Speaker 1: I don't know who sings this song. I really don't care,

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Speaker 1: but this song always reminds me of that episode. What

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Speaker 1: it was the stand up that Martin did. I think

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Speaker 1: it was run til that well, he said he came

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Speaker 1: outside and the cops outside, and he realized the cops

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Speaker 1: was outside, and then all you can think about his

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Speaker 1: head was they looking at me. I'm looking at them.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at them and looking at me. You know,

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Speaker 1: I can think of but sometimes I feel like somebody's.

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Speaker 2: Watching me and have privacy.

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Speaker 1: WHOA, I think that's Michael Jackson. The melody came to me,

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Speaker 1: it's Michael Jackson.

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Speaker 2: Well clearly because he had to deal with a lot

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Speaker 2: too facts, as you know, a huge worldwide celebrity. So

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Speaker 2: but yeah, sometimes we be feeling like people be watching this.

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Speaker 2: We'll be watching y'all watching this until y'all figure out

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Speaker 2: that we know that you're watching us. And it's that's

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Speaker 2: usually when someone comes by, like sorry to bother you, right,

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Speaker 2: but I'm a bother you real quick. Right, It's all

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Speaker 2: love though. All right, let's go pay some bills and

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Speaker 2: we're going to come back and we'll talk more about

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Speaker 2: uh the story time and today's topic, which is uh

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Speaker 2: fanning fandom fan decorum.

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Speaker 1: Or fame decorum. Famed there requires decorum on both sides.

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Speaker 2: Oh for sure, absolutely, all right, y'all, we'll be back,

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Speaker 2: all right. So, yeah, that story time, it was funny

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Speaker 2: because in that moment, we were all just so concerned

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Speaker 2: about all the moving parts. You know, we were trying

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Speaker 2: to assist them with the move. Here. We have our

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Speaker 2: four kids, they have their daughter.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: Then it's like all the family members on deck trying

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Speaker 2: to help out. So if in that moment you handled

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Speaker 2: it differently and within your panic for her, right and

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Speaker 2: trying to sort that out, knowing too that you still

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Speaker 2: like just got off a plane, have to get home,

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Speaker 2: there's stuff you have have to do, you could have

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Speaker 2: reacted very differently to the young lady who was like,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 1: Zach, And it's just true because it wasn't a young lady.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't a young lady. She is definitely of age

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Speaker 1: to understand, understand and know better what was happening, you know.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, for sure, but I can see how if

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Speaker 2: you were to reply the way you really wanted to

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Speaker 2: reply to her, then it's going to be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you know, he's mean or he's nasty, you know, not

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Speaker 2: taking into consideration like wow, we're actually in an emergency room.

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Speaker 2: In an emergency room, Like that's the biggest I think.

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Speaker 2: If there's any place that requires a level of privacy

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Speaker 2: and decorum that people have, it should be a hospital, right,

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Speaker 2: And this is anybody, This is not someone who's super

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Speaker 2: famous or just you know the girl as a person.

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Speaker 2: A hospital is such a super private, sensitive space for anyone.

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Speaker 2: So the fact that somebody had because I've been in

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Speaker 2: doctor type environments and places where I've even called on

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Speaker 2: the phone to make an appointment, and I can tell

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Speaker 2: when I give my name on the phone that somebody

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Speaker 2: might recognize who they're speaking to, you know, and for

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Speaker 2: the most part, people maintain a level of professionals I

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Speaker 2: listen to me, professional professional, listen.

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Speaker 1: Listen right.

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Speaker 2: Jackson plays that video over and over again. Sorry, my

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Speaker 2: coffee hasn't sent in YT, y'all. But yeah, most most time,

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Speaker 2: I think people have a level of the quorum that

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Speaker 2: they do maintain. But every now and again that you know,

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Speaker 2: and I get it because in that moment, you think, Wow, there's,

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Speaker 2: however many billion people in this world. What are the

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Speaker 2: chances that in this moment, in this space, in this

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Speaker 2: time I am bumping into somebody who I either watch

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Speaker 2: on TV, admire listen to the podcast? Am I going

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Speaker 2: to have this moment again? And I completely get that

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Speaker 2: on the other side, where people who love and admire

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Speaker 2: us and support us are just like, wow, what are

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Speaker 2: the chances that our world's collided in this? This is

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Speaker 2: my opportunity to say hello, you know what.

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Speaker 1: The only thing that bothers me with people and this

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Speaker 1: is the way they deal with other people, regardless of

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Speaker 1: whether there's celebrities or not. I'll give you an example.

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Speaker 1: I'm in the Walmart over there and there's a disagreement

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Speaker 1: between two young women and they asked to speak to

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Speaker 1: you know, bring the manager, Bring the manager. The manager

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Speaker 1: comes out the minute he comes out, this woman is

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Speaker 1: in his face and he says, excuse me, it's you

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Speaker 1: and your man. Calm down, I'm going to help assist you.

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Speaker 1: You know, can you just tell me what happens? She's

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Speaker 1: screaming in cursonality, said, ma'am, what makes you think that?

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Speaker 1: Like you can just talk to me like that. Her

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Speaker 1: response is the response that we always hear when people

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Speaker 1: don't understand someone else's job description of perfection. They say, well,

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Speaker 1: you signed up for the job, you know what it was.

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Speaker 1: I'm the customer. The customer is always right, ma'am. Just

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Speaker 1: because that person has a job doesn't mean that you

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Speaker 1: reserve the right to disrespect them right at any They're

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Speaker 1: a human. It doesn't matter if they're a celebrity, if

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Speaker 1: they're a manager of Walmart, if they're the ticket guy at.

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Speaker 2: The movie theater, or they're the janitor, like it does

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Speaker 2: not doesn't matter.

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Speaker 1: Yes, And people say this all the time. You knew

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Speaker 1: what the job was, you signed up for this. No

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Speaker 1: one signs up to get disrespected period, Like, I don't

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Speaker 1: care what your job is, because.

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Speaker 2: When you get disrespected back, people are human beings, you

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Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. So when you get disrespected back

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Speaker 2: or the energy that you put out, Yes, you get

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Speaker 2: a dose of that in return. Don't then play victim.

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Speaker 1: Facts.

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Speaker 2: Don't then play victim and act that you don't know

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Speaker 2: how we got here.

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Speaker 1: Fact you started it.

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Speaker 2: You started it, And you're not going to meet people

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Speaker 2: all the time who are willing to back down from confrontation.

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Speaker 2: I know my husband enough to know, y'all, Develle is

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Speaker 2: not going back down from confrontation. I'm not.

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Speaker 1: And I've been there with a dud one time. I've

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Speaker 1: been there with to do. Remember we I got. It's

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Speaker 1: me and Cairo. We were getting on a plane to

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Speaker 1: go to New York and we're coming from Atlanta. And

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Speaker 1: this dude, younger looking dude, he's just like yo, the

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Speaker 1: like he got excited. I said, Yo, yo, Yo, I'm

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Speaker 1: from Orangeburg too. We could be cousins, I'm like.

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Speaker 2: And usually we meet. We matched, y'all excited.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So I say to him, I said, Yo, let's

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Speaker 1: get a flick thing, cuz you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: You said, y'all. I want the boys too. If y'all

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Speaker 1: know me, y'all know, I'm always going to ask my

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Speaker 1: children if they feel like taking a picture, because I

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Speaker 1: never want them to feel like their circus animals and

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Speaker 1: have to do what other people want them to do.

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Speaker 2: I stopped asking them. I just say no, you just

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Speaker 2: respectfully say no, you can have a photo with me,

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Speaker 2: but we'll just leave the children.

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Speaker 1: And you reserve the right to do especially with the

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Speaker 1: super young ones, because you're typically so I asked them,

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Speaker 1: and typically Jackson is a little bit more like cool,

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Speaker 1: it's early in the morning, I'll fight his first flight out.

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Speaker 1: Kyro was like, I really don't feel like it. So

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Speaker 1: then Jackson says, I'll stand on the side. Because Jackson

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Speaker 1: was going to take you y'all stay on the side, well, Cairo,

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Speaker 1: So I said, all cool, they side, come on and

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Speaker 1: take the picture. He looked at me and was just like, so,

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Speaker 1: they're really not gonna take the picture. I still remain calm.

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Speaker 1: I said, nah, like not taking the picture, you can

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Speaker 1: get the picture of Mecuz like I'm trying to keep

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Speaker 1: it light. And he like, wow, I support y'all. I

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Speaker 1: do everything all I do. You know, I'm saying I

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Speaker 1: can't even get a picture. So at this point, I said, yo,

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Speaker 1: my man, real talk there, you holding me up. I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to get on this flight. If you want the picture,

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Speaker 1: you could take the picture. So then he goes to

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Speaker 1: put his arm around me and he kind of take

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Speaker 1: the picture like he was reluctant, and I'm seeing Jackson

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Speaker 1: and Kyro look confused, and I said, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I ain't gonna take this picture. Man, you ruined the moment. Bro.

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Speaker 1: He's like, how I ruined the moment there? I said, Yo,

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Speaker 1: watch your mouth. Don't if you say some of my kids,

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Speaker 1: you can get real serious. And I think in that

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Speaker 1: moment he realized, then now you have devoured the father,

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Speaker 1: not devoured the entertainer that likes to make people laugh.

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Speaker 1: And he was just like, my fourth d No, it

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Speaker 1: ain't even like that. And I'm like, well, it's gonna

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Speaker 1: get like that if you don't get the fuck out

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Speaker 1: my face now, because now I'm getting pissed and my

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Speaker 1: sons look a little nervous and I don't know you,

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Speaker 1: and it's like now he takes that, and who knows

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Speaker 1: what he says. I was an asshole. I was aggressive,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And for me sometimes it's

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Speaker 1: like am sometimes I don't want to be so nice

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Speaker 1: because when I move my boundaries to accommodate people who

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Speaker 1: may be excited. Then it blurs the lines and they

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Speaker 1: feel like there are no boundaries. And then when they

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Speaker 1: feel like there are no boundaries, they feel like they're

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Speaker 1: entitled to something that's just seriously, just a blessing, Like

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Speaker 1: I don't have to give you a picture, but I'm

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Speaker 1: always going to give people who support me pictures of

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Speaker 1: me when my kids are there, if my wife's not

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Speaker 1: in the mood. Sorry, you know what I'm saying. And

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Speaker 1: I want to speak to two people because we do

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Speaker 1: have friends who are becoming celebrity, who are celebrities, athletes

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Speaker 1: who watch who also listen. I honestly feel like as

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Speaker 1: a person who constantly asks people to support their projects,

359
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Speaker 1: support their art, to buy their products, I feel like

360
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Speaker 1: you have Ai douc she every responsibility to be kind

361
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Speaker 1: and take people when they see you in public. That's me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I feel that's just me. You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure.

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Speaker 1: With that being said, we're in an emergency room. I'm

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Speaker 1: at dinner putting a piece of steak in my mouth,

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Speaker 1: and you don't ask. But now I see a light

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Speaker 1: shining on me and my family while we're eating dinner.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a similar story. I have several actually

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Speaker 2: of people just recording me. The weirdest ones for me

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Speaker 2: were always when in the moment, someone may see me,

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Speaker 2: see me with the children, see me with you, out

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Speaker 2: with my sister, whoever, and instead of in the moment

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Speaker 2: just coming over and saying hey, hello, just want to

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Speaker 2: say hi, because I'll always say hello back, it's recording

375
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Speaker 2: a video of me or taking a picture and then

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Speaker 2: dming me later.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And I may randomly come across it like hey, I

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Speaker 2: saw you and your sister earlier in hobby lobby or whatever, right,

380
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Speaker 2: and it's like, okay, so you didn't say hi in

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Speaker 2: the moment, but you took a picture of me and

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Speaker 2: my sister looking at ornaments and you just didn't say

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Speaker 2: hello in the moment, Like, which one is more weird

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Speaker 2: to me? Would it have been more weird for you

385
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Speaker 2: to say hello and just acknowledging me in the moment?

386
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Speaker 2: And then we have a little exchange, because if I

387
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Speaker 2: was looking for Christmas ornaments, I probably would have been excited.

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Speaker 2: I don't tell you what it is. I helped you

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Speaker 2: with your Christmas the core. I did all that, you know,

390
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Speaker 2: so that is always kind of off putting for me.

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Speaker 2: But I do have an instance one time where you

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Speaker 2: guys know, I like to take my boys on mommy

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Speaker 2: sun dates, and you were out of town filming at

394
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Speaker 2: this point, I think you're in Canada, and it was

395
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Speaker 2: a Friday night. Didn't feel like cooking. I'm like, you

396
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Speaker 2: know what, I'll take the three oldest boys for dinner.

397
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Speaker 2: So we go to one of my favorite restaurants and

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Speaker 2: they seat me in the back and it was kind

399
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,560
Speaker 2: of like a tight kind of boot situation, but it

400
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,800
Speaker 2: was a booth where a couple could sit on one

401
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Speaker 2: end of the booth and then I was able to

402
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Speaker 2: sit with the three boys on the other end of

403
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Speaker 2: the booth, but it was still within close proximity. So

404
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,840
Speaker 2: it was another black couple, which I'm like, cool because

405
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Speaker 2: in this area I don't often see black couples where

406
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Speaker 2: the restaurant is. So, you know, I say hello, just

407
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Speaker 2: being polite, and I saw the woman in the duo

408
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Speaker 2: kind of like perk up, like she probably recognized who

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Speaker 2: I was. So then she like pulled her phone out

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Speaker 2: and then I saw her like showing her husband. So

411
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Speaker 2: maybe she was showing her husband because we can always

412
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Speaker 2: tell that too, when like someone pulls the phone out

413
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Speaker 2: and then you're trying to be like, that's who they are.

414
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,440
Speaker 2: So that was transpiring. So just to be polite, because

415
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,840
Speaker 2: we were sitting in such close quarters, we exchange a

416
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:21,399
Speaker 2: couple of words, you know, and just being nice, being

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Speaker 2: human in the present moment, made no mention of who

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Speaker 2: I was or who Jackson there, my kids were, you know,

419
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Speaker 2: no no mention of that. But I'm also not pretentious,

420
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Speaker 2: pretentious enough to think that people always know who I

421
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Speaker 2: am when I please. Sometimes people don't know and don't care,

422
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,920
Speaker 2: which is fine too. But I could tell in this

423
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Speaker 2: moment that, you know, she was sitting there and she

424
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Speaker 2: definitely knew who we were. So my kids ordered thirty

425
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Speaker 2: six oysters. We're having a good time, we're eating. It's

426
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Speaker 2: towards the end of the night, because we both were

427
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,560
Speaker 2: kind of eating around the same path, like they were

428
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,639
Speaker 2: wrapping up around the time we were wrapping up. So

429
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 2: I don't know if this is when she thought this

430
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:58,040
Speaker 2: was her time to try to get a photo, but

431
00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:01,040
Speaker 2: instead of asking for one, she holds her camera up

432
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,920
Speaker 2: to take a picture, and she's literally like within maybe

433
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,080
Speaker 2: four feet of me and takes the picture and the

434
00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:10,520
Speaker 2: flash goes off. So once the flash goes off, that's

435
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,800
Speaker 2: when I get annoyed. And then I look over her

436
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,520
Speaker 2: and I'm just staring at her in the face right now,

437
00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:17,680
Speaker 2: and she's fumbling with her phone and she's like, Babe,

438
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,920
Speaker 2: I told you my phone was malfunctioning, and I don't

439
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:21,440
Speaker 2: know what's going on. I don't know what's going on.

440
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:24,680
Speaker 2: And he looked so embarrassed. Yeah, I've seen he looked

441
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,960
Speaker 2: so embarrassed, and he was looking at her, and then

442
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:31,200
Speaker 2: she I can't believe you did that. And I'm just

443
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,560
Speaker 2: staring at her and her face, like, girl, you got caught,

444
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,200
Speaker 2: like I know you were trying to take a photo

445
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,800
Speaker 2: of me or the kids or whatever. And then she

446
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,640
Speaker 2: turns and then at this point, now she doesn't even

447
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,000
Speaker 2: like let up. She probably finds a way to take

448
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,640
Speaker 2: her flash off. And then I see her like trying

449
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,159
Speaker 2: to hold the phone up in a way that it

450
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 2: was inconspicuous. But I'm like, she's still trying to take

451
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,360
Speaker 2: a picture. And the only reason why I didn't press

452
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 2: her in that moment was because I was with the boys. Yeah,

453
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,320
Speaker 2: I was with the boys. And then Jackson was like

454
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,440
Speaker 2: she definitely took a picture because they know because he yeah,

455
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,000
Speaker 2: because he knew. He was like, why didn't you just

456
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 2: ask for a picture? You would have took it because

457
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,680
Speaker 2: the kids know too, Like we're always going to be

458
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,359
Speaker 2: able to just say short, no problem, y'all. Catch me

459
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,160
Speaker 2: at five am in the airport at Heartsfield, come over

460
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 2: for a picture. I'm look crazy, but I'm gonna take

461
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:17,200
Speaker 2: the picture. And this is what it is.

462
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 1: That's what's important to say is that we do feel

463
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:24,480
Speaker 1: as people who constantly ask and appreciate the support that

464
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,280
Speaker 1: people give us. We don't care what we look like

465
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:28,920
Speaker 1: how early in the morning is if you see me,

466
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:31,920
Speaker 1: you see ku, come take a picture, like come, stay,

467
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:32,359
Speaker 1: what's up?

468
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:36,520
Speaker 2: But it does snap filter? You know, I don't mind

469
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,639
Speaker 2: we take a picture of snapshat, like like do your

470
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:40,679
Speaker 2: girl a solid and let's put a filter on.

471
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 1: Me because I'm tired of looking at the pictures of

472
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:46,359
Speaker 1: me later. And I got lashes, like I'm tired of

473
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,200
Speaker 1: seeing pictures and I'm like why do I got lashes

474
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 1: and bush? But it is what it is, Like, hey, if.

475
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,280
Speaker 2: That's the picture you don't want, especially if it's five

476
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 2: am and you approach me at the airport.

477
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,920
Speaker 1: But this, this is what I'm going to say next,

478
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:01,159
Speaker 1: is very important for people to understand. We live in

479
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:05,480
Speaker 1: a day in age now where digital content moves faster

480
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 1: than it did like then regular analog magazines and newspapers

481
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 1: back in the day. I remember when I was younger

482
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,600
Speaker 1: and I go to the supermarcro with my aunt Debbie

483
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 1: and my mother, right, and the National Inquirer or National

484
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,720
Speaker 1: Inquisitor was like the magazine that's like the shade room,

485
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,240
Speaker 1: that's right, And I remember going to pick it up,

486
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 1: and then my grandmother all being like, man, put that down. Man,

487
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 1: that's not even real news. But then I remember other

488
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,840
Speaker 1: aunts being like, go, that is the real news, because

489
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 1: that's you know what I'm saying.

490
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:33,119
Speaker 2: They give you.

491
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,639
Speaker 1: It's got some columns. But that stuff was so like,

492
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 1: it moves so slow back in the day, where now,

493
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:43,840
Speaker 1: when you end up on a gossip column, that becomes

494
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,840
Speaker 1: people's reality because there is a segment of the population

495
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 1: who only exists in a digital space, and what they

496
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 1: see on some of these blogs and gossip columns, they

497
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 1: honestly think that it's real.

498
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,920
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so oh yeah, because there's no cross referencing

499
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,679
Speaker 2: from a journalistic standpoint. Back in the day, you can

500
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:04,120
Speaker 2: only access personal celebrities or they're personalized if they gave

501
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,520
Speaker 2: in like a tell all or an exclusive, or they

502
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,440
Speaker 2: wrote a book or they sat down with like Barbara Walters,

503
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 2: that's when you were able to get that access. But

504
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:14,040
Speaker 2: now social media has created kind of a new kind

505
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,719
Speaker 2: of celebrity that thrives off of sharing more about their

506
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:18,680
Speaker 2: personal life, and people are just soaking it up because

507
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:19,639
Speaker 2: they feel like, no.

508
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 1: No, no, they're not just soaking it up. People are

509
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 1: taking from people and using that to create their own content,

510
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 1: which is what other people don't understand. There was an

511
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 1: article that was released that companies started to find black

512
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:39,520
Speaker 1: celebrities and release false stories with AI included to get clicks.

513
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 1: Oh you see what I'm saying. Okay, so what happens

514
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 1: is do at the airport or no, no, do to

515
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 1: the airport, or even the young lady at the hospital,

516
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 1: she takes the footage she has. She then takes that

517
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:54,160
Speaker 1: footage and just says I found devout at the hospital

518
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,399
Speaker 1: with another woman getting a procedure done. K is nowhere

519
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:01,040
Speaker 1: to be found. Why because people want and clickbait, So

520
00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 1: then people start clicking on it, and then people start

521
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 1: commenting on it, and then the commentary becomes their react

522
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 1: becomes the reality. And then what happens, And it's the

523
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 1: scary part. The next interaction you have with someone may

524
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 1: come from someone who exists in that space, and now

525
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 1: they give you the energy from what they think is

526
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,399
Speaker 1: real for sure, and now you respond to that with

527
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 1: negative energy and it compounds.

528
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:27,399
Speaker 2: So your next airport situation is going to be like,

529
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 2: I can't believe you got getting in them full hole boys.

530
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:31,680
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, And you in the hospital

531
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:32,960
Speaker 2: with some chick related you.

532
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:34,919
Speaker 1: See what I'm saying. And then and then your response,

533
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,399
Speaker 1: what the fuck are you talking about? And then she's like, oh,

534
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:38,919
Speaker 1: he cursed at me, and then it's like he has

535
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:42,159
Speaker 1: another bad incident at the airport. I'll tell you exactly

536
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 1: how this happened. Remember when I was telling the stories

537
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 1: about me getting stopped at the courthouse and how Zach

538
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 1: gets the Valent trouble.

539
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, there was a group.

540
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,399
Speaker 1: On Facebook that created this whole thing about how de

541
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:58,960
Speaker 1: val Got is getting too big for who he is,

542
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 1: not realizing that the stories I'm telling this part of jokes,

543
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,399
Speaker 1: they're just they're jokes. Their stories. They are real stories,

544
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:06,160
Speaker 1: but it's jokes.

545
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:08,399
Speaker 2: They're saying that you're too big for who you are

546
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:10,440
Speaker 2: now because you wouldn't talk to people in court, or

547
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 2: something like no, no, no no.

548
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 1: The thing was they were just like, this is what

549
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 1: happens when they didn't even listen to the story. The

550
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:20,360
Speaker 1: commentary came from the title that because remember I put

551
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 1: Zach gets the vow in trouble, right, so the title

552
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 1: was de val Ellis finds himself in court again amongst trouble.

553
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:28,440
Speaker 2: Oh wow, they.

554
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 1: Use the clickbait to get people to click on it,

555
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 1: not listening to the story. But then the commentary that

556
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,399
Speaker 1: ensued was just like these niggas get too big now

557
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,359
Speaker 1: to day and now he's in trouble. This is what happens.

558
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 1: But then that becomes someone's reality that's not.

559
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,439
Speaker 2: Real of you, so that you're potentially losing support from

560
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,399
Speaker 2: someone because it's just like, oh, like what happened to

561
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 2: humble de Val? No more? So I don't want to anymore? Ye.

562
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 1: And when these people walking around with phones and they

563
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 1: just capture parts of your life so that they can

564
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,520
Speaker 1: create a narrative for themselves, so that they can get clickbait.

565
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: Not only are you stealing my likeness, but you are

566
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,160
Speaker 1: making it difficult for me and my family to move

567
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 1: in certain spaces because you're creating a whole narrative that

568
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:13,119
Speaker 1: does not exist. And to me, that's my plea for people.

569
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 1: Don't stop asking me for pictures, don't stop coming to

570
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,359
Speaker 1: get a selfie and get a hug, or give me

571
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:22,639
Speaker 1: words of encouragement or ask please please, let's interact together,

572
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 1: but stop taking pictures of me and my family or

573
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 1: taking small moments that don't belong to you to present

574
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,679
Speaker 1: to your audience as a way for you to get

575
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 1: clickbaits and making it difficult for me. That's what bothers me,

576
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 1: and the entitlement to feel like, well, you knew what

577
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:42,119
Speaker 1: it was when you signed up. Reminded me of the

578
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:45,120
Speaker 1: manager at Walmart when the lady said this was your job.

579
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 1: You knew what it signed up like you honestly feel

580
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 1: like you can curse that man out because he's the

581
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:52,440
Speaker 1: manager at Walmart. Just like you said the janitor. The

582
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 1: janitors cleaning and people come by just throw stuff on

583
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:56,680
Speaker 1: the floor and you're like, man, can you just throw

584
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 1: that in the garbage? Man? Do your job? You sign

585
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 1: up for this, Like how you to people? No.

586
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,440
Speaker 2: I remember just recently we were at a Hawks game

587
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 2: and someone came over to say hello. It was a

588
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,960
Speaker 2: fan came over to say hello to you and accidentally

589
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,399
Speaker 2: kicked your drink over. Yes, and it was like the

590
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:14,479
Speaker 2: whole floor was saturated where we were, and the one

591
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 2: of the custodians came over with his mop to mop,

592
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:19,879
Speaker 2: and you took the mop from him and you mopped

593
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 2: around my area in your area and handed it back

594
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 2: to him and said hello, and he was just like, man,

595
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 2: I watch your show and all that. So it was

596
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 2: a little moment y'all exchanged and then he walked away.

597
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 2: And then the young man that was sitting next to

598
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,879
Speaker 2: me was just like, wow, that was really nice of

599
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 2: you to like take the mop and mop the floor,

600
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 2: you know, and help him out in that moment, because

601
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 2: most people wouldn't have done that. And I'm just like,

602
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 2: people wouldn't have done that, Like you know what I'm saying, Like,

603
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 2: it's just so innate for us to just service to people,

604
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 2: be personable.

605
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 1: See all people as humans, absolutely, see all people as humans.

606
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 1: But the sad truth is a lot of people don't

607
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,360
Speaker 1: see quote unquote celebrities, and I hate, I hate even

608
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 1: using that term. They don't see you as human. You're

609
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 1: just always their entertainment and it doesn't matter if you're

610
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,120
Speaker 1: on TV or on the phone. Now your real life

611
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,880
Speaker 1: becomes their entertainment. We see it all the time. Where

612
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,400
Speaker 1: even with Cam Newton right getting assaulted, well, I can't

613
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 1: say he got assaulted because he jumped three people. Y'all

614
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,480
Speaker 1: gotta realize it's too sometimes y'all see people and y'all

615
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 1: don't realize how big and strong they are, and you

616
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 1: say things in real life that you you probably only

617
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,680
Speaker 1: say in the comments section, and then you get dealt with.

618
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,879
Speaker 1: And now those young men are having a tour talking

619
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:33,919
Speaker 1: about what Cam did to them, and I'm just like, yo,

620
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,920
Speaker 1: we've seen the footage of y'all getting man handled.

621
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 2: If you've seen him in person, there's no bone in

622
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 2: my body that would make me think to fight or jump.

623
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:47,720
Speaker 2: Cam Newton man statute, Okay, he is legit.

624
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 1: Sixty five two sixty and he used to shrug off

625
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 1: NFL dns for a living. And those men are six

626
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 1: y five, three hundred pounds and he's shrugging him off

627
00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 1: while holding onto the ball and looking downfield and you

628
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:03,120
Speaker 1: think that you're going to take down Cam Newton. But

629
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:07,239
Speaker 1: here's the thing. Even in that people were saying, yo,

630
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 1: he Cam Newton, he talking, He talking trash, We talk trash.

631
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 1: It comes with the territory. You Cam Newton, you come back,

632
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 1: We're gonna talk trash to you.

633
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 2: It's like, man, it's abuse.

634
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 1: It is. No one signs up to take any job

635
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 1: to get verbally abused all the time, or with a

636
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 1: lot to cyber abused. No one signs up to get

637
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 1: cyber abused. And I, for one have taken on the

638
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: mantra that I'm not going to read the comments or

639
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 1: I'm not going to read a lot of stuff, because

640
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 1: even though ninety five percent of the comments we receive

641
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 1: are kind from the people who really support us. Yeah,

642
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 1: we love y'all, rock with us, and we always tell

643
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:46,959
Speaker 1: y'all if y'all see us in public, come say what's up.

644
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 1: Let's get a pound, let's share some words, let's get

645
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 1: a picture of a video. Yes, but there's always the

646
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 1: five percent that's looking for their own way to make

647
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 1: their mark, and sometimes it's easier for them to try

648
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 1: to tear you down than to seext you and be like, hey,

649
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:04,200
Speaker 1: how can I do you think that? So?

650
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 2: You know, back in the day, like we said, personal

651
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 2: access to celebrities' lives or anything on their personal side

652
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 2: was really a treat, like you couldn't get that often.

653
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 2: But now with social media has created like this new

654
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 2: kind of celebrity that thrives off of sharing more about

655
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 2: their personal lives. You having access to the personal lives

656
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,480
Speaker 2: and feeling connected with them in that space for you,

657
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 2: because I know that when I met you, you've always

658
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:30,040
Speaker 2: said that you wanted to be famous. Yes, so that

659
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 2: way you can help people. That was like your biggest thing. Yes,

660
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 2: And you didn't know at the time in what capacity

661
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 2: that would be, but you just knew that that was

662
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 2: your purpose. Now, in this day and age, with social

663
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 2: media and people feeling entitled to you and your life

664
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 2: and access, do you think you would have reconsidered wanting

665
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 2: to be famous. No.

666
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 1: I still want to be famous and even more powerful

667
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 1: because I am inspired by people like Michael Jackson, like

668
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 1: Will Smith, like Mahamad Ali who utilize their fame to

669
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 1: be kind to people like I just want to be kind.

670
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,880
Speaker 1: Anyone who's ever met me in person will tell you

671
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 1: I really just want to love on people, and I

672
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 1: want to receive love and I want to show that

673
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter what your job description is, how much

674
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:21,400
Speaker 1: money you make, We're all just people. Bruce Lee was

675
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:23,840
Speaker 1: also somebody else who I inspired to be like was

676
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 1: of the people. He was carried out of his movie

677
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 1: to enter the dragon he was carrying at the Big Boss.

678
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 1: He was carried out of the movie there in China

679
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 1: by thousands of people in China, and he stayed there

680
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 1: with the people. Like that, to me is the greatest

681
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 1: power you have as a person. When you've made so

682
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 1: much money and you have so much power, but you

683
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 1: still have the ability to be of the people and

684
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 1: connect with the people. That's true power. Because I also

685
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 1: want to be able knowing where our people have come from,

686
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:58,160
Speaker 1: you know, Black American people, West Indian Black Americans. I

687
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 1: want to be able to help those who don't have

688
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 1: a voice.

689
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 2: You know.

690
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 1: I want to be a vessel, right. I want to

691
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:07,520
Speaker 1: be able to say and not always on large scales.

692
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: But you've watched me do this at Prototype. Yeah, that

693
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 1: young man deserves an opportunity in college. Yeah, it's going

694
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 1: to cost a couple grand. Let me put a phone

695
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:19,120
Speaker 1: call in tell them who I am, and I'm going

696
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 1: to support this young man, but we're also going to

697
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 1: help them financially. And then we watch young men like

698
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 1: that like Roger now own his own business and now

699
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 1: mentoring a bunch of other people. You just hit me

700
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 1: two weeks ago. It's a young Caribbean woman at Hofstra.

701
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.

702
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 1: Yeah.

703
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 2: So after doing the doc, reconnected with one of my

704
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:40,520
Speaker 2: Jamaican sisters over at Hofstra. She's also working there still,

705
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 2: and she contacted me because it's a young lady. She said,

706
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:48,040
Speaker 2: it's brilliant, came up from Jamaica. She needs assistance, and

707
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 2: she was like, you know, are you connected to anyone who?

708
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 2: Does you know any kind of Caribbean society, scholarship funds

709
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 2: or Jamaican specifically, And knowing that I have a good

710
00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,120
Speaker 2: relationship with the Council General, she said, does she have

711
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 2: any resources? And I was just like, what's her balance?

712
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:05,080
Speaker 2: Like what are we working with here? And she told

713
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 2: me and I said, I'll cover it just like that, man,

714
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 2: I'll cover it.

715
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 1: Now, let me ask you a question, how did that feel?

716
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 2: Amazing? This young lady wrote me the most beautiful email.

717
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 1: I see you about to cry to you. I see

718
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 1: you about to cry, but you see this feeling you have.

719
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 1: This is why I would never regret wanting to be

720
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 1: famous or wanting to be powerful, because not only did

721
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 1: you give her something that she can tingently walk away

722
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 1: and say, hey gave me this, but you also gave

723
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 1: her inspiration because she's a Caribbean girl from an island,

724
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 1: just like your mom. It grew up just like you.

725
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 2: It literally made me think of my mother.

726
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying.

727
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 2: It made me think of my mom coming up here

728
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 2: at what she was, seventeen, no help, the oldest of

729
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 2: six parents are like, you got to go make something

730
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 2: of yourself, figure it out. And now my mother was

731
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 2: sleeping in random friends, you know, of family houses, getting

732
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:59,240
Speaker 2: locked out of places because she was out late studying.

733
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 2: Like I literally saw my mom and that young lady

734
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,960
Speaker 2: and I was like, what does she need? And I said,

735
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,840
Speaker 2: you know what? And I asked her. After that, she

736
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 2: was super grateful, sent me a beautifully well I'm like,

737
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:14,360
Speaker 2: people don't write this well anymore, you know, but it

738
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,759
Speaker 2: was a beautiful, well written email where she was super

739
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 2: grateful and she said that she will make her point

740
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 2: to make me and her family proud because she's so

741
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,759
Speaker 2: grateful for the help, and she was going to keep

742
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 2: me abreast of because I was going to ask her

743
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 2: to keep me abreast of her studies. I want to

744
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 2: see your grades, Like that's the thing. If I'm going

745
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 2: to be assisting, you have to do your part as

746
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 2: well too. But knowing that my friend I vouched for her,

747
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:38,879
Speaker 2: it was just like she just she's such a good, good,

748
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:42,479
Speaker 2: good kid. I wanted to stay a breast of her grades,

749
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,400
Speaker 2: make sure that she's doing well, that she's okay, and

750
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 2: then for future semesters, talking to her about what her

751
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:49,719
Speaker 2: plan is going to be to be able to get

752
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 2: the financial assistance that she needs. So it's then putting

753
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:54,279
Speaker 2: against called. But then also too, this is not something

754
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 2: that I'm doing and I'm blasting on social media like

755
00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:58,239
Speaker 2: I haven't told anybody, you guys, I didn't even know

756
00:34:58,239 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 2: you were going to talk about it today. But visiting

757
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 2: that we, with our reach and with our resources, are

758
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 2: able to do because that's the way. I don't even

759
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,320
Speaker 2: do it for the blessing that will come later. I

760
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 2: do it for what it is in the moment, because

761
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:14,920
Speaker 2: people genuinely need help, and people genuinely are trying. Yes,

762
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:17,600
Speaker 2: you know, and I know what it was like going

763
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:19,480
Speaker 2: to school and trying to get the scholarship money and

764
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 2: not wanting to be all on our parents and working,

765
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:23,840
Speaker 2: you know, to have our little side money to do

766
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 2: whatever we wanted to do, and being able to graduate

767
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:29,240
Speaker 2: debt free from school. Like, those are things and blessings

768
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 2: that I want other people to So, so.

769
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 1: Let me ask you a question, Being as you could

770
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 1: be a blessing to someone else, why would you ever

771
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 1: regret the power you have? Now? That's why? And then

772
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 1: nothing can deter me from it. No, nobody with a

773
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 1: picture in an airport or a hospital can deter me

774
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 1: from doing what I've been given an abundance right like

775
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:52,839
Speaker 1: God only one of another one of my favorite people

776
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 1: is Bob Marley. Right when we went to go see

777
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 1: his house in Jamaica and they talked about how Bob

778
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:01,879
Speaker 1: gave most of his as rich as away. People would

779
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:03,719
Speaker 1: stand outside his house and he would get they call

780
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:06,080
Speaker 1: it penance when he would just say whatever he had

781
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,839
Speaker 1: in the moment, he would give to the people. That's

782
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 1: why God provides you with abundance. God does not provide

783
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,280
Speaker 1: you with abundance. Abundance to sit up on an ivory

784
00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:17,279
Speaker 1: tower and tell everybody else how to do things. No,

785
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 1: you can't take this when you die, it is not yours.

786
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:24,040
Speaker 1: So you have a responsibility to share everything. And when

787
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 1: I say share everything, it's not just money, share your wisdom,

788
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:31,480
Speaker 1: share your kindness, but mostities share your humanity. You have

789
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 1: to share your humanity. And that's why when we talk

790
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:36,879
Speaker 1: about decorum, it's not just about the chorum for people

791
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,839
Speaker 1: who who you inspire, but also the chorum from people

792
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,440
Speaker 1: who choose to inspire. Right, if you choose to be

793
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:47,000
Speaker 1: a celebrity and you're gonna go on your Instagram or TV,

794
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:50,080
Speaker 1: buy my books, buy my t shirts, watch my movies,

795
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,919
Speaker 1: go go, go, go go, And then when you see

796
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:56,279
Speaker 1: people give them poor energy because it's like I can't

797
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 1: just talk to you.

798
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 2: That fact is if you're untouchable or you're not reachable

799
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:01,800
Speaker 2: or tangible, like, that's wild.

800
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 1: That's what. That's just as wild as the person that's

801
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 1: going to hold up a phone right and record.

802
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 2: You, right. And I get that people have off moments

803
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 2: and they have off days, like, for example, what something

804
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 2: I do when I travel And I'm like, you know what,

805
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 2: say it is the six am flight that I'm Therefore,

806
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:17,920
Speaker 2: I'm at the airport four thirty in the morning, and

807
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 2: I know, man, I'm a little funky right now. I

808
00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 2: haven't had my coffee. Like I just want to be

809
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 2: left alone. I'll put a mask in a hoodie on

810
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:26,839
Speaker 2: and keep moving, you know what I'm saying, Like that's

811
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 2: the beauty and coming out of the pandemic. You can

812
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:30,799
Speaker 2: wear a mask and people won't question you. But it's

813
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,239
Speaker 2: just me also not inviting that attention because I know

814
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 2: in that moment I may not be in the mood

815
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 2: for it, you know, so I think as it's just

816
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 2: just just just read the moment to test the barometer

817
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 2: in that moment and in that space and see is

818
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:47,960
Speaker 2: this the right time on either side to make that approach.

819
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 1: It's funny you say that, right, because I didn't even

820
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:52,719
Speaker 1: think about this moment. But this is actually a very

821
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 1: important moment. When you first walk in the delta part

822
00:37:57,480 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 1: of the airport. There's a young lady who works at

823
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 1: the kiosks. When not in the young I say young

824
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:04,920
Speaker 1: lady because she's she's about sixty something years old and

825
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 1: she always say morning, a young lady. She sees me

826
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:08,719
Speaker 1: all the time because we traveled like four or five

827
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 1: times a month, and she sees me early in the morning,

828
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:12,360
Speaker 1: she's me late at night. And she said to me

829
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 1: one day, I took a picture with some people and

830
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,719
Speaker 1: she could tell my energy was low. Yeah, And she

831
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 1: was just like, sweetheart, I talked to you for a minute,

832
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:22,840
Speaker 1: and I'm always going to give like my eligers the respect.

833
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:24,759
Speaker 1: Of course, I don't have a time. Of course. Of course.

834
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:27,320
Speaker 1: She was just like, your energy was low this morning,

835
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,799
Speaker 1: and I was just like, yeah, it was a little low.

836
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:33,239
Speaker 1: And she was just like, maybe sometimes it's okay for

837
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,319
Speaker 1: you to say no that you don't want to take

838
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:37,879
Speaker 1: any pictures because you keep giving to everyone. He said,

839
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:39,680
Speaker 1: every time you come in this airport, you get stopped

840
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:41,800
Speaker 1: a minute. You walk in here, and you're trying to

841
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 1: give people. But sometimes it may be better for you

842
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:46,439
Speaker 1: not to give people low energy and just say maybe

843
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:48,840
Speaker 1: next time. And it kind of made me.

844
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 2: Think, like, because you don't think that it's okay to

845
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 2: say next.

846
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 1: Time, yeah, I don't think it's okay to say ourselves.

847
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 2: The other person she was and be like they probably

848
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,759
Speaker 2: think there won't be a next time, right, you know.

849
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:01,239
Speaker 2: So I'm like, if this is a moment again where

850
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:03,439
Speaker 2: our worlds collide, Like, why not just take the moment

851
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,919
Speaker 2: to be nice in this moment? At Tyler Perry's grand

852
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 2: opening for the studio back in twenty nineteen, I walked

853
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:16,080
Speaker 2: alongside Beyonce. Y'all know how I feel? Yeah, Okay, walked

854
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:19,400
Speaker 2: alongside her. She looked at my dress. I looked at

855
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 2: her dress. She was like, that's a nice dress. And

856
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 2: I was like, thanks. That would have been my moment

857
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,280
Speaker 2: to be like, you know, the vomit of the mouth

858
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 2: and just tell her all the things that I'm sure

859
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:31,960
Speaker 2: she's heard from people and everything. But I played it

860
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 2: cool and I tell her thank you. I loved her

861
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,200
Speaker 2: dress too, and we just kept walking and you whenever

862
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,759
Speaker 2: you spoke to Jay and you was like you were like,

863
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 2: we were like to talk to Beyonce like this is

864
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:42,920
Speaker 2: your moment, and I was just kind of like, you

865
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 2: know what, No, she's enjoying this moment as well. There

866
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 2: will be more moments when I'm going to see I already,

867
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 2: just like I manifested that, I just put it out there.

868
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,759
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm going to see her again, and I'm

869
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:55,279
Speaker 2: when I beat in the space where I'm in a

870
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:57,279
Speaker 2: better situation to have one on one time with her,

871
00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:58,880
Speaker 2: to talk to her and say the things that I

872
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:00,880
Speaker 2: want to say to her. And that's just what I

873
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 2: manifested because I could have in that moment just been

874
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 2: like I'd have jumped on her back, girl to walk

875
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 2: down the carpet together, you know what I'm saying. But

876
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 2: I just did that. I know Julius was definitely close by,

877
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,440
Speaker 2: and even though it was a safe very like you know,

878
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 2: contained space for everyone, I just felt like in that moment, like,

879
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 2: you know what, let her let her enjoy. Yes, she

880
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:23,840
Speaker 2: probably gets that all the time, yeah, you know, and

881
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,400
Speaker 2: she did get that from a lot of people who

882
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 2: were at that event as well too. But I just

883
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 2: took it as a moment to say, you know what,

884
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:30,840
Speaker 2: I'm going to I'm going to have my moment with Beyonce.

885
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 2: It's what happened. So but I can understand how people

886
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,280
Speaker 2: feel like this is my time, Like who would have thought.

887
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,239
Speaker 1: Moments I told the lady at the airport, I was

888
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,399
Speaker 1: just like yo, like yeah, I don't know, I talk,

889
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 1: my energy is low, but I can't tell them no

890
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 1: because what if I don't see him and then all

891
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,600
Speaker 1: they remember is the vout brushed me off for a picture. Yeah,

892
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:52,800
Speaker 1: and she said, she said, I could not be famous

893
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:57,840
Speaker 1: because these motherfuckers. I said, I know, but I told her,

894
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 1: I said, but these motherfuckers also make me who I am.

895
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,080
Speaker 1: She was just like, that is true, that's true. She said,

896
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 1: you can have all that, which to me is like

897
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:09,880
Speaker 1: an understanding. It's an understanding that I don't want that

898
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 1: for me. The understanding is I do want that.

899
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 2: So with that comes this, you know, to answer the

900
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,320
Speaker 2: question that I asked you if I would you know,

901
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:20,800
Speaker 2: in retrospect now, considering the way things are with social

902
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:23,320
Speaker 2: media and proximity and people feeling like they're entitled to

903
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:27,400
Speaker 2: you and your access, I think the only thing that

904
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:29,320
Speaker 2: I would have adjusted.

905
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 1: Is the kids. The kids. I knew he's going to

906
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 1: say that I feel the same way too, because they

907
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 1: didn't ask for this.

908
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,880
Speaker 2: They didn't ask didn't ask this. And to be honest,

909
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,600
Speaker 2: when we started this whole social media thing, we didn't

910
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:41,799
Speaker 2: think it was gonna be all.

911
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:45,840
Speaker 1: This because social media wasn't this. It wasn't first started.

912
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 2: It was like you had like three hundred followers, three

913
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:52,279
Speaker 2: thousand followers. You're like, okay, cool, but then you have

914
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 2: one point three million people who then support now and

915
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 2: it's like everybody feels like they know the children. They

916
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:02,239
Speaker 2: called him by name, like, but our kids know, like

917
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:05,759
Speaker 2: you don't answer to anyone calling your name, like you know,

918
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 2: even in just their school environments, people know who they are.

919
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:12,239
Speaker 1: And I agree with you on that.

920
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 2: People are super respectful. But that's my only like regret

921
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 2: is involving the children. I would have been the one

922
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:21,000
Speaker 2: that was putting emojis over my kid's face. Now I

923
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 2: get why some people are just like protective, They're going

924
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 2: to post the back of their kids' heads and whatnot.

925
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:28,920
Speaker 2: You know, I'd be like, just don't post them at all.

926
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 2: But you know, you know, people do what they want

927
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:32,840
Speaker 2: to do. I get it.

928
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:37,239
Speaker 1: Though the larger you get, the more popular famous you get,

929
00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:39,800
Speaker 1: it is difficult on kids, you know. You know, I

930
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:44,959
Speaker 1: gotta say this. I watch what Bronnie goes through trying

931
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 1: to be a young man navigate the world, and he

932
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 1: gets so much hate from people. And the thing is

933
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 1: they didn't have Bronnie in the media like that. He

934
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 1: didn't have a social media page when he was ten

935
00:42:57,600 --> 00:42:59,400
Speaker 1: and thirteen, and saying look at me, look at me,

936
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:01,279
Speaker 1: look at me was really keeping his head down and

937
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 1: focused on working on his craft. But then you have

938
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 1: hundreds of millions of people, yes, growing as adults, who

939
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:13,280
Speaker 1: just especially and once again, most of the audience supports Ronnie.

940
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 1: But when most of the audience is one hundred and

941
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:19,880
Speaker 1: fifty million people, but then there's five million people who

942
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 1: are praying on your downfall, it may not seem like

943
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:24,439
Speaker 1: a lot because you have one hundred and fifty million,

944
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 1: but that five million constantly coming at you can be

945
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 1: a lot. And watching him go through that as the

946
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:31,360
Speaker 1: reason why people ask me, howcome you don't have a

947
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:34,080
Speaker 1: social media just for the kids. I said, because that's

948
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,839
Speaker 1: not And people say, now, y'all don't show the kids

949
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:38,279
Speaker 1: as much. I'll cut back a lot on the kids.

950
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, because they need to have their own

951
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,279
Speaker 1: space to decide if they want to take on that.

952
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 1: They don't have to be inherit. They don't have to

953
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:49,320
Speaker 1: inherit that level of intrusiveness.

954
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:51,839
Speaker 2: It's true, and the people are still going to create

955
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 2: their own stories anyway. At one point I remember someone

956
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 2: commenting or saying that this is when I used to

957
00:43:57,080 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 2: read the comments, like years ago. I don't do it anymore,

958
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:02,800
Speaker 2: especially after the whole debacle with our viral moment with

959
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:05,560
Speaker 2: the monogamy episode that me miscarrying our baby and all that.

960
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 2: But prior to that, I remember saying, someone is saying, like,

961
00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:10,480
Speaker 2: it's clear that I favor Cairo out of all of

962
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 2: the boys. At this time, the Koda wasn't around. It

963
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:15,359
Speaker 2: was just Jackson, Chiro and Kaz. I favor Cairo because

964
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 2: I post him more because and they don't post cash

965
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:20,520
Speaker 2: or something like that. And I was like, where the

966
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:23,760
Speaker 2: fuck did you get that from? I said, Cairo loves

967
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:26,360
Speaker 2: the camera. Cairo has been holding the camera in his

968
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:29,440
Speaker 2: phone since he was a year, speaking his little language

969
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:31,719
Speaker 2: and taking his own videos, and he loved it and

970
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:34,359
Speaker 2: it was entertaining for us, and we shared it. Yeah,

971
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:36,839
Speaker 2: but then it made me feel like, damn, so here

972
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:40,279
Speaker 2: I am sharing our technically private family moments that I

973
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 2: could just keep to myself. But I'm here spreading joy,

974
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:44,399
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, the joy that I feel

975
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:46,719
Speaker 2: for my sons. And then there's a narrative going around

976
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:49,839
Speaker 2: that I have a favorite kid, like how did that happen?

977
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:53,279
Speaker 2: Cas is like fuck, y'all, Cavs could care less about

978
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:55,319
Speaker 2: the camera. And He's still like that to this day.

979
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:58,800
Speaker 2: So we let him rock because we're not stage parents.

980
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:01,360
Speaker 1: I mean even on stage in Atlanta. I was like,

981
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:02,799
Speaker 1: you want to come out with your brothers? I asked

982
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 1: all of them. Yes, Kyral, you want to mic absolutely

983
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:10,399
Speaker 1: cays you want to say something nah nah, And that's

984
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 1: just He's like, no, I'm good on that.

985
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:15,759
Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely. So a couple of facts in stats that

986
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:18,360
Speaker 2: Triple Uh found for us that we're going to use

987
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 2: to round out this episode. Fandom facts and stats allows

988
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:26,160
Speaker 2: people with similar interest to form a supportive community that

989
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:30,440
Speaker 2: fosters feelings of acceptance for people involved. But toxic fandom

990
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 2: can easily be created with fan groups because of the

991
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:39,279
Speaker 2: intense enthusiasm the fan community fosters and supports. Fandom becomes

992
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 2: toxic when it starts to create possessiveness, entitlement, and feelings

993
00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 2: of superiority for fans that are of a certain art

994
00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:51,080
Speaker 2: or artist. Now, how to act if you see a

995
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:53,839
Speaker 2: celebrity in public? And it's funny because, like Deval said,

996
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,840
Speaker 2: like we literally don't see ourselves celebrities.

997
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,120
Speaker 1: People still asks all the time, like yo, y'all just

998
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 1: be walking in the airport, no security? Yes, because I

999
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:05,239
Speaker 1: still got to get on the plane like everybody. Yeah,

1000
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 1: I really just don't feel like.

1001
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:08,200
Speaker 2: I need to have to go back to Brooklyn.

1002
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:12,359
Speaker 1: And y'all be like, yes, to go to the corner store. Yes,

1003
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 1: I get my card, don I go. You know, I

1004
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:16,920
Speaker 1: still go to court. I got a speeding ticket. I

1005
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:17,719
Speaker 1: gotta go to court.

1006
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:19,719
Speaker 2: We still do a lot of and people are like, well,

1007
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:21,279
Speaker 2: can't you get somebody to do that for you? And

1008
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,799
Speaker 2: I'm just like, but why I could do it? I'm here.

1009
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 1: But the truth is, though, even the judge told me

1010
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,680
Speaker 1: when I went to court the last time, He's specific.

1011
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:31,840
Speaker 1: He pulled me aside and said, you can't you have

1012
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:34,080
Speaker 1: to have someone come in for you because I can't

1013
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 1: contain the court if people are going to be taking pictures.

1014
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:38,839
Speaker 1: And I didn't realize if it was that big a deal.

1015
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 1: It is, And he said to me, he said that,

1016
00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 1: you know, ordering the court is a thing, mister elis

1017
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 1: ordering the court. If I ask you if you're a celebrity.

1018
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 2: Jet that's my favorite. You can't handle the truth, that's

1019
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 2: not the favorite.

1020
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,200
Speaker 1: He asked me. He was just like, if I ask you,

1021
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 1: if you're a celebrity, you have to tell me the

1022
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:57,160
Speaker 1: truth because if it creates disorder in the court or

1023
00:46:57,239 --> 00:47:00,399
Speaker 1: creates a problem for safety for you some one else.

1024
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:04,080
Speaker 1: For me, that's a problem. And that in that moment,

1025
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:06,920
Speaker 1: I realized that he wasn't joking. And he was like,

1026
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 1: in the future, you can have an attorney step in

1027
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 1: in your place and he can do things like this.

1028
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:14,600
Speaker 1: And he was dead serious. He was not saying yeah,

1029
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:16,400
Speaker 1: he's telling you this is what you should do.

1030
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:17,800
Speaker 2: And I was like, this is the protocol.

1031
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:20,640
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, okay, well, I guess I have to listen,

1032
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:22,480
Speaker 1: like if the judge is saying like this, And he

1033
00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:23,879
Speaker 1: asked me. He was just like, you don't think you're

1034
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:25,920
Speaker 1: celebrity and I was like, no, he said, I can tell,

1035
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 1: and he said you'll probably be a celebrity a long

1036
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:30,520
Speaker 1: time because of your humble attitude. But everyone back there

1037
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:33,560
Speaker 1: and back in my office knows who you are. And

1038
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:35,440
Speaker 1: clearly them three women there who are trying to take

1039
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 1: pictures and video know who you are. Right, So he's like,

1040
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:40,680
Speaker 1: you can't ignore that. Yeah, And then he, you know,

1041
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 1: gave me my citation.

1042
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:43,960
Speaker 2: So he didn't let you off.

1043
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:46,560
Speaker 1: Knoed. He knocked it down. He knocked it down, so

1044
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 1: I didn't get any points on my license. But I

1045
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 1: was also a first time offected in Atlanta, so you know,

1046
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:55,160
Speaker 1: and I paid a very hefty fine. Typically that's what

1047
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:58,440
Speaker 1: it is. It is about paying the fine. But he

1048
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:00,719
Speaker 1: didn like remind me of that, and like you can't

1049
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:04,240
Speaker 1: take for granted the fact that you have. It's good counsel.

1050
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:06,720
Speaker 2: So how to act if you see a celebrity in public,

1051
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 2: Be polite and act normal. Celebrities know they're famous.

1052
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:10,879
Speaker 1: They don't.

1053
00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:14,959
Speaker 2: They'll appreciate being treated like regular people, which is it's true.

1054
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:15,120
Speaker 1: I do.

1055
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:17,040
Speaker 2: I do like that and be polite and normal because

1056
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 2: we're gonna be polite and normal too. It's funny when

1057
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:21,080
Speaker 2: people come up to you and expect you to be

1058
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 2: Zach or they expect us to be like Devalan KaDee,

1059
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:28,759
Speaker 2: like when we're doing sin as actors, and then when

1060
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:31,720
Speaker 2: they see that, like we don't have that like high energy,

1061
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 2: sometimes they're just like, y'all good. I'm like, yeah, we're good.

1062
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:37,320
Speaker 2: We're just trying to catch a flight, like you know,

1063
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:39,320
Speaker 2: just out to eat, you know, normal stuff.

1064
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 1: What you want to drop it?

1065
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:45,719
Speaker 2: They would I would don't touch them. That's the next one.

1066
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 2: Would you like a stranger to touch you without permission.

1067
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:52,239
Speaker 2: Consent is required for everyone. Touching is probably my least

1068
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:57,160
Speaker 2: favorite thing because I'm a huge germaphobe. But if you

1069
00:48:57,239 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 2: want to ask for a hug, or you want to

1070
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 2: give me a pound or high five or whatever it

1071
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 2: may be, your arm around the shoulder for a photo,

1072
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:05,759
Speaker 2: just ask. It's all good you.

1073
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:09,200
Speaker 1: It's very different for women because there is a dynamic

1074
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:13,880
Speaker 1: care of abuse and abuse with women in society. So

1075
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:16,920
Speaker 1: I understand where you're coming from. Me personally, women come

1076
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 1: up and run up and hug me, and they glad

1077
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:21,279
Speaker 1: me and stuff. I embrace them and you know, take

1078
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:24,120
Speaker 1: pictures and stuff because I know the excitement. I don't

1079
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:27,960
Speaker 1: feel intimidated, you know, buy it. But I do understand

1080
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 1: where you're coming from because as a woman, you don't

1081
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 1: want some dude just come up and just hug you

1082
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:35,160
Speaker 1: like that. There's definitely a power dynamic there. So for me,

1083
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:39,920
Speaker 1: the whole don't touch me thing, I'm not as like

1084
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:41,960
Speaker 1: That's like women will come up and just want to

1085
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:43,480
Speaker 1: hug me. Dudes to come up and be like yo,

1086
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:45,680
Speaker 1: and they'll go to slap me a pound, and I'll

1087
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 1: slap and pug and will embrace and they'll like hug me,

1088
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 1: and they'll look at me and it'll hug me again

1089
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 1: and they'll be like, yo, like you like a real person.

1090
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, dude, like that's I'm a person. Just

1091
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:57,640
Speaker 1: just know that and anything I can do, you can do.

1092
00:49:58,280 --> 00:49:59,080
Speaker 1: So just think about that.

1093
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:01,920
Speaker 2: That's great transfer of energy to I'm a little bit

1094
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 2: more just like germophobe like that does always touch people.

1095
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:07,080
Speaker 2: And I have always been that way, y'all since like early. Okay,

1096
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:10,920
Speaker 2: respect their privacy. Everyone does not need to know a

1097
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:13,960
Speaker 2: celebrities in the vicinity. A private situation in a public

1098
00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:16,600
Speaker 2: place i e. A hospital visis shouldn't have be exploited

1099
00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:19,480
Speaker 2: or shared. That was and we have had people who

1100
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:22,279
Speaker 2: come over and they'll whisper, I'm not gonna make it hot,

1101
00:50:23,239 --> 00:50:25,879
Speaker 2: and we appreciate that people do that. We appreciate y'all.

1102
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:28,279
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna make it hot, but I see you,

1103
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 2: I love you, and we're always like we love so

1104
00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:35,840
Speaker 2: that's always funny. Don't take photos and videos without their permission.

1105
00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:39,280
Speaker 2: This is rude, weird, and inappropriate. Consent is required for everyone.

1106
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:42,160
Speaker 1: Again, and that's not just for celebrities, because I've seen

1107
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 1: take pictures of other people in public, and they sometimes

1108
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:48,080
Speaker 1: do it to make fun of and that you shouldn't

1109
00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:49,960
Speaker 1: do that. Man, that's that's messed up, y'all.

1110
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:52,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, tell them who you are. If the situation is

1111
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 2: appropriate for a conversation, introduce yourself. Tell them why you

1112
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:59,279
Speaker 2: love their work. Everyone loves a good compliment, and stay calm.

1113
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:00,920
Speaker 2: At the end of the day. Celebrities are just regular

1114
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:05,920
Speaker 2: people like we are regular people. We promise, y'all. Definitely

1115
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 2: definitely all right, let's take a quick break and we're

1116
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:12,520
Speaker 2: gonna move into listener letters after we get into these as,

1117
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:24,480
Speaker 2: so stick around, y'all, all right, and we're back for

1118
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:26,880
Speaker 2: listener letter trime, and then we'll wrap it up with

1119
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,759
Speaker 2: a moment of truth. Hey, Deval and Kadeen, I want

1120
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:31,440
Speaker 2: to take the time to say thank you for setting good,

1121
00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:36,719
Speaker 2: healthy black relationships for other generations while also asking for

1122
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:40,360
Speaker 2: some advice. I'm I'm twenty eight years old and my boyfriend,

1123
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 2: also the father of my kids, is turning thirty this year.

1124
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:46,160
Speaker 2: We have two beautiful daughters who are five and under.

1125
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:50,200
Speaker 2: I love my daughters unconditionally, but their attitudes trying my patience.

1126
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:52,960
Speaker 2: That's why I had no daughter's child because God already

1127
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:55,759
Speaker 2: knew that maybe i'd been hemming up some chicks up

1128
00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:59,360
Speaker 2: in here. Not the issue this year, though, I have

1129
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:03,200
Speaker 2: been doing some self reflecting and straight and ask him

1130
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:05,960
Speaker 2: straight up does he think I need to be softer?

1131
00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:12,480
Speaker 2: His answer his answer instantly was yes. Now my question

1132
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:15,319
Speaker 2: is how do I do that? I work full time,

1133
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:18,200
Speaker 2: pretty much do everything with my girls. He's the fun parent.

1134
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:21,600
Speaker 2: But just realizing I don't know how to show my

1135
00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:25,759
Speaker 2: softness without feeling like a pushover and being soft with

1136
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:28,160
Speaker 2: the wrong things, and also wanting to be able to

1137
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 2: show my daughter a healthy relationship. Recently, my four that

1138
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:33,960
Speaker 2: there's like no period here, so I'm trying to figure

1139
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,920
Speaker 2: out what this ends. Recently, my four almost five year

1140
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:39,879
Speaker 2: old started paying more attention and asking why we aren't

1141
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:42,520
Speaker 2: married yet, And I think this plays a big part

1142
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 2: of it. He said, he doesn't want to get married,

1143
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:49,719
Speaker 2: just proposing on his own timeline. Please let me know.

1144
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:52,319
Speaker 1: Oh he said he does want to get married. He does.

1145
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:54,239
Speaker 2: Oh, he said he does want to get married, just

1146
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 2: proposing on his own timeline. Okay, so, like most of

1147
00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:59,160
Speaker 2: you said, most men have their timeline. Please let me

1148
00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:03,800
Speaker 2: know something. First of all, we need punctuation because this

1149
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 2: is literally a big paragraph of words. But I get

1150
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:10,240
Speaker 2: the gist here is that she feels like she cannot

1151
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:14,440
Speaker 2: tap into her feminine soft side because she is working

1152
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:16,600
Speaker 2: full time and doing all the things and getting caught

1153
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:20,759
Speaker 2: into the routine. So I think her question is, or

1154
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:23,320
Speaker 2: possibly one of the questions here is part of the

1155
00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 2: way she's not soft because she's not married, you know.

1156
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:28,080
Speaker 2: And then she don't want to set an example for

1157
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 2: her daughter.

1158
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:31,319
Speaker 1: Well, there's a lot of things here. The first thing,

1159
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:32,799
Speaker 1: the first thing I see is she says, I love

1160
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:36,320
Speaker 1: my daughters unconditionally, but their attitudes trying my patience. Attitudes

1161
00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:38,480
Speaker 1: are learned behaviors. You got to ask yourself where did

1162
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:41,960
Speaker 1: your daughters learn that attitude? That's the main thing. I

1163
00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 1: had to learn that as a father, Right, certain things

1164
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:46,320
Speaker 1: about my son's used to get on my nerves. And

1165
00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:48,480
Speaker 1: I used to say to mysel Remember I said, children

1166
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 1: is the greatest reflection. And then you look and you

1167
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:51,920
Speaker 1: be like, oh he learned that from me?

1168
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:54,960
Speaker 2: He sure it is. And it's like, like, I think

1169
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,719
Speaker 2: some things are innate, Like you know how some kids

1170
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:58,680
Speaker 2: might be the sassier one. She's like, why is this

1171
00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:01,400
Speaker 2: one like that? One particularly got a little edge to them.

1172
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:02,880
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, But you're right, a lot

1173
00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:04,759
Speaker 2: of it is learned, Like I've even seen it now

1174
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:06,879
Speaker 2: that I reflect as an adult, like, wow, the way

1175
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:09,320
Speaker 2: I deal with things or say things sometimes it's a

1176
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 2: direct reflection of how we used to communicate in my house. Yeah,

1177
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:14,000
Speaker 2: so that's true.

1178
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 1: That's the first thing she has to ask herself. You know,

1179
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:19,719
Speaker 1: do you if your daughter's attitudes try your patients? How

1180
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:23,280
Speaker 1: will your daughter's attitudes try their partner's patients in the future.

1181
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:25,560
Speaker 1: And if you want to be a good example, how

1182
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:27,720
Speaker 1: can you be a better example so that your daughters

1183
00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:29,520
Speaker 1: don't go through what it seems like you're going through.

1184
00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:32,759
Speaker 1: Because she asked her husband, do you think I can

1185
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:35,239
Speaker 1: be soft? And he immediately said yes, which means this

1186
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:37,160
Speaker 1: is something he probably feels the same way about your

1187
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:39,480
Speaker 1: attitude that you feel about your daughter's attitudes.

1188
00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 2: I'm wondering if this feeling of not being able to

1189
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:46,520
Speaker 2: be soft in this moment of your life is a

1190
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:50,400
Speaker 2: byproduct of your childhood and how you were raised, Like

1191
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 2: did you feel like you had to be more assertive?

1192
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:55,480
Speaker 2: Did your mom raise you to be the independent woman

1193
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:57,040
Speaker 2: that don't need nothing, that wants to be in charge

1194
00:54:57,080 --> 00:54:59,200
Speaker 2: of everything and has the final say, Like was that

1195
00:54:59,320 --> 00:55:01,480
Speaker 2: a a part of what your life looked like when

1196
00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:04,160
Speaker 2: you were growing up or was that learned behavior? Do

1197
00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:05,640
Speaker 2: you feel like you had to get like that because

1198
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:07,360
Speaker 2: your husband, or not your husband, but the father of

1199
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:09,840
Speaker 2: your children, who you eventually want to marry. Is he

1200
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:12,240
Speaker 2: more of the quiet type, that's more of the pushover?

1201
00:55:12,719 --> 00:55:15,000
Speaker 2: You know, I'm wondering what the dynamic is of their

1202
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:18,360
Speaker 2: relationship and why he's the fun dad, you know, or

1203
00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:20,920
Speaker 2: the fun parent, where you're the one that's always the

1204
00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:23,080
Speaker 2: serious one, because nobody really likes to always be like

1205
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:24,239
Speaker 2: the kill joy either.

1206
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:27,440
Speaker 1: No. And I know part of this with dads, Like

1207
00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:30,520
Speaker 1: they're young girls, they're five and four. It's hard to relate.

1208
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:33,560
Speaker 1: You've never been a young girl before, so it's like,

1209
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:37,439
Speaker 1: how do I, as a grown man, relate with my daughter.

1210
00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:41,880
Speaker 1: It's difficult for some men to find that space to relate.

1211
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:43,839
Speaker 1: So it's like I leave it, leave them with their

1212
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:45,560
Speaker 1: mom until they can grow up, and then we can

1213
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:47,880
Speaker 1: get them together. You know. I see some men do that,

1214
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:51,520
Speaker 1: but I am interested in knowing, Like if she goes

1215
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:54,600
Speaker 1: to work all day and she's with the kids, is

1216
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:57,160
Speaker 1: he not providing a space for her to be See.

1217
00:55:57,200 --> 00:55:58,759
Speaker 2: That was going to be my question. I'm saying, like

1218
00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:01,560
Speaker 2: she did not have the comfort or to try to

1219
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:02,000
Speaker 2: be soft.

1220
00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:05,400
Speaker 1: Right, But what I'm saying is is like she also

1221
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 1: said that they've had financial issues. He said he's winning

1222
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:11,880
Speaker 1: on his own timeline. So clearly the financial reasons are

1223
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:14,839
Speaker 1: the reasons why he hasn't proposed yet. True, but if

1224
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:17,799
Speaker 1: the reason, but if him not proposing is also getting

1225
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:21,279
Speaker 1: her agitated and making her not soft, that's something that

1226
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:21,799
Speaker 1: they need to.

1227
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:24,920
Speaker 2: Discuss to see what I'm saying, layer effect. Yeah, it

1228
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:25,920
Speaker 2: could be a layered effect.

1229
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:30,200
Speaker 1: You're providing anxiousness you think. To be honest, it might

1230
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:32,480
Speaker 1: not even be anxiousness. It might be resentment. Now like

1231
00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:35,000
Speaker 1: they have two kids, they're both under five, five and four,

1232
00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:38,120
Speaker 1: but it's like, hey, we have two children, like we're

1233
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:40,520
Speaker 1: doing the house thing. How come you haven't made me

1234
00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:44,280
Speaker 1: your wife? That is not anxiousness now, it's resentment. Resentment

1235
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 1: makes you hard.

1236
00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:47,399
Speaker 2: Or she might have the philosophy where I'm not doing

1237
00:56:47,480 --> 00:56:49,480
Speaker 2: wife things until I'm a wife, so I'm going to

1238
00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:52,799
Speaker 2: continue to move like a woman who's independent and single ish,

1239
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:54,680
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Or in a relationship, yes,

1240
00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:57,319
Speaker 2: but not which is the marriage, which is very true,

1241
00:56:57,360 --> 00:56:59,680
Speaker 2: and she might be reserving that for when they finally

1242
00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:02,600
Speaker 2: do get married. That might be part of her philosophy.

1243
00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:05,359
Speaker 1: Too, which can be difficult because I know some people

1244
00:57:05,400 --> 00:57:08,760
Speaker 1: say you reserve wife activities for when you and wife,

1245
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:12,400
Speaker 1: but then you won't accept a man reserving husband activity

1246
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:15,040
Speaker 1: till we become husband. You expect a man to be

1247
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:17,439
Speaker 1: a husband, so that you know what I'm saying, people

1248
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:19,920
Speaker 1: have to sit down and have conversations about what they

1249
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:23,240
Speaker 1: require even before they get married. Show me how we're

1250
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:25,520
Speaker 1: going to live together. This whole wait until we get married.

1251
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:28,840
Speaker 1: Then until to me doesn't make any sense because I'm

1252
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 1: not going to sit back and hope that once we

1253
00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:33,760
Speaker 1: get married you changed to be the person that I expect.

1254
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:35,560
Speaker 1: I want to see that you can be that because

1255
00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:37,280
Speaker 1: you want to be that, so hopefully.

1256
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:41,360
Speaker 2: Early on with you and I like, I treated you

1257
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:44,480
Speaker 2: like your husband, like my husband. But that was just innate,

1258
00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:46,520
Speaker 2: Like I feel like I wanted to take care of

1259
00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:48,600
Speaker 2: my man. That's my point, and it wasn't me just

1260
00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:51,720
Speaker 2: trying to you know, hold on to this like put

1261
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:53,440
Speaker 2: my feet in the cement. And I'm like I'm not

1262
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:55,240
Speaker 2: going to budge because you haven't put a ring on

1263
00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 2: it yet. Even when we were debating about being engaged

1264
00:57:57,800 --> 00:57:59,600
Speaker 2: and like the timeline for being married, and you told

1265
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:01,280
Speaker 2: me you had a plan, and I didn't necessarily know

1266
00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:03,280
Speaker 2: what your plan was or know your timeline, nor did

1267
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:05,440
Speaker 2: I agree with it. That didn't take away from me

1268
00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:06,440
Speaker 2: still taking care of you.

1269
00:58:06,640 --> 00:58:08,360
Speaker 1: You know it didn't. And he also showed me. You

1270
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:10,200
Speaker 1: also said it when you felt like it was taking

1271
00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:12,000
Speaker 1: too long, like divo, I don't want to be your

1272
00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:14,360
Speaker 1: living girlfriend. Yeah, and you has said at that point,

1273
00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:16,280
Speaker 1: I'm not going to just stay here and be a

1274
00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:18,880
Speaker 1: living girlfriend. You didn't say I'm not going to treat

1275
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:20,920
Speaker 1: you the way you should be treated. Yeah, you just

1276
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:22,960
Speaker 1: said the vow. This doesn't work for me, and I

1277
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:26,120
Speaker 1: had to make a decision. Sometimes couples just have to

1278
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:28,880
Speaker 1: have that conversation. And I treated you like you and

1279
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:32,560
Speaker 1: my wife to hear me, yeah we did. We been

1280
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:36,400
Speaker 1: doing that since we were eighteen. So yeah, I mindset.

1281
00:58:36,480 --> 00:58:38,440
Speaker 2: But yeah, good luck to you. And I think just

1282
00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:41,320
Speaker 2: have the conversations with him. I think there's some like

1283
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:45,400
Speaker 2: underlying like just questions and clarity that probably could be

1284
00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:47,600
Speaker 2: worked out and could come to the surface if you

1285
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:50,280
Speaker 2: have those conversations with him and see how he's going

1286
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 2: to be willing to help you get into that soft era.

1287
00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:54,680
Speaker 2: All right, good luck to you assists.

1288
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:58,640
Speaker 1: Second question today, Question number two Derek, Kadeen and de Val.

1289
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 1: I've been listening to Pop Cash from the beginning, and

1290
00:59:01,040 --> 00:59:03,120
Speaker 1: even though me and my boyfriend aren't married as of yet,

1291
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:06,480
Speaker 1: our relationship started when we were kids too, eighteen to

1292
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:09,200
Speaker 1: be exact, just like us. Most people will say we're

1293
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:11,560
Speaker 1: still kids in our early twenties, but we've been together

1294
00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:14,200
Speaker 1: five years now, and there's one thing I can't seem

1295
00:59:14,280 --> 00:59:16,280
Speaker 1: to shake. I feel less than a, not an equal

1296
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:18,880
Speaker 1: to my man. Let me explain. Since day one, he

1297
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:21,400
Speaker 1: has known what his plan of life was going to be.

1298
00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:24,760
Speaker 1: He was fresh off the boat, as I like to say,

1299
00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:27,320
Speaker 1: when we met coming from Jamaica. His first plan with

1300
00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:29,680
Speaker 1: college didn't go as planned, but being the great man

1301
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:32,439
Speaker 1: he is, got straight to the second plan and started working.

1302
00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:34,360
Speaker 1: All while he was putting his plan to action, I

1303
00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:37,320
Speaker 1: was a struggling first generation college student and a working

1304
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:40,000
Speaker 1: one at that. He was there for me through my

1305
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:42,560
Speaker 1: rough times and even encouraged me to look for alternatives

1306
00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:45,160
Speaker 1: to four year college since I was having such a

1307
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:47,880
Speaker 1: hard time, which I did, but ended up leaving college

1308
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:50,280
Speaker 1: and going into the workforce full time. Fast forward about

1309
00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:52,560
Speaker 1: two years and twenty twenty three, he is in his

1310
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:55,840
Speaker 1: career path and supports both of us financially and manages

1311
00:59:55,920 --> 00:59:59,120
Speaker 1: to help out his family as well. Meanwhile, I'm stuck

1312
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:01,840
Speaker 1: in the same place. I don't know what the hell

1313
01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:05,240
Speaker 1: to do with myself. I've tried entrepreneurship and it has

1314
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:07,240
Speaker 1: a lot of up and downs. Yes, it is and

1315
01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:11,280
Speaker 1: makes the experience less desirable to me. I've considered going

1316
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:13,400
Speaker 1: back to school, but honestly, I don't want to put

1317
01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:15,440
Speaker 1: more pressure on my boyfriend, being that we live together

1318
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:17,960
Speaker 1: and he already does so much for our household. I

1319
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:20,720
Speaker 1: also am having a hard time finding a career path

1320
01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:24,000
Speaker 1: that I truly would enjoy and find purpose. Luckily, my

1321
01:00:24,080 --> 01:00:27,400
Speaker 1: boyfriend supports any decision. I don't even got to hear

1322
01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:29,040
Speaker 1: this no more. Let me tell you something, Mama, Let

1323
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:32,160
Speaker 1: me tell you something, Mama. Your life will not be

1324
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:35,480
Speaker 1: defined by this moment right here. Yes, when Kadeen and

1325
01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:38,640
Speaker 1: I first wait, when we first graduated from college, we

1326
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:40,880
Speaker 1: were in the NFL. When I say we, it's because

1327
01:00:40,920 --> 01:00:43,080
Speaker 1: we did it together. I made all the money. She

1328
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:46,040
Speaker 1: was a stay at home I got cut. We need insurance.

1329
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:49,720
Speaker 1: Ka working, I'm gonna stay at home, right, Kay working,

1330
01:00:49,720 --> 01:00:51,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stay at home. I get my second job,

1331
01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:53,560
Speaker 1: doing acting, doing all this other stuff. Kay, you stay

1332
01:00:53,600 --> 01:00:56,720
Speaker 1: at home. I'm working. Now, we're doing all this other stuff.

1333
01:00:56,720 --> 01:00:59,080
Speaker 1: We both making a lot of money. Living a life

1334
01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:01,920
Speaker 1: was great, right. I told Kay, I don't want to

1335
01:01:01,960 --> 01:01:04,240
Speaker 1: do certain things no more. Ky, So well, I pick

1336
01:01:04,320 --> 01:01:05,520
Speaker 1: up that end of just like, and I'll make the

1337
01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:07,400
Speaker 1: money so that we don't miss out on it. The

1338
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:09,000
Speaker 1: purpose of the story is to tell you that they

1339
01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:11,280
Speaker 1: are going to be seasons for both of you in life.

1340
01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:14,560
Speaker 1: Right now, this may just be his season, Marama. Yeah,

1341
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:16,680
Speaker 1: but that don't mean that your season is not coming.

1342
01:01:16,800 --> 01:01:18,680
Speaker 1: You just have to be diligent and trust that you

1343
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:21,080
Speaker 1: have a man that's going to support you through your

1344
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:24,120
Speaker 1: downtimes and when you up, he gonna support you when

1345
01:01:24,160 --> 01:01:26,240
Speaker 1: you up. Because that's what me and Kay did. It's

1346
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:28,640
Speaker 1: been a back and forth. There's never just a one person.

1347
01:01:29,080 --> 01:01:31,480
Speaker 1: I never felt less than when K was handling stuff.

1348
01:01:31,800 --> 01:01:33,840
Speaker 1: I never made K feel less than when I was

1349
01:01:33,880 --> 01:01:35,840
Speaker 1: handling stuff. That's what the partnership is about.

1350
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:39,040
Speaker 2: That's a fact. I mean, yeah, I think you just

1351
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:42,480
Speaker 2: said everything perfectly. I know her feeling, but yes, and

1352
01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:43,760
Speaker 2: I was going to say, I know what it's like

1353
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:45,080
Speaker 2: to be in your twenties and you're just on the

1354
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:47,240
Speaker 2: fence about what it is that I should do. The

1355
01:01:47,360 --> 01:01:50,000
Speaker 2: fact that you have a boyfriend who is super supportive

1356
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,360
Speaker 2: and has figured hisself out like some people are just

1357
01:01:52,520 --> 01:01:55,200
Speaker 2: born that way, Like some people are born knowing like

1358
01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:57,080
Speaker 2: this is what I want to do. They figured it

1359
01:01:57,160 --> 01:01:59,800
Speaker 2: out and then they go directly towards that path. Yep,

1360
01:02:00,160 --> 01:02:01,800
Speaker 2: you can still take the time to figure it out.

1361
01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:03,160
Speaker 2: But the great thing about it is that you don't

1362
01:02:03,240 --> 01:02:06,840
Speaker 2: have the stress having to worry about overhead and things

1363
01:02:06,880 --> 01:02:09,200
Speaker 2: that normal people would have to worry about that don't

1364
01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:10,040
Speaker 2: have that support.

1365
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:11,360
Speaker 1: Just don't get complacent.

1366
01:02:11,920 --> 01:02:14,960
Speaker 2: I was literally about to say that. I said, the

1367
01:02:15,080 --> 01:02:17,080
Speaker 2: only problem with that is that and I can see

1368
01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:18,680
Speaker 2: because I've been there and it has happened to me

1369
01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:21,320
Speaker 2: in certain circumstances where Deval has taken care of so

1370
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:24,280
Speaker 2: much that I was like, well, I mean, I could

1371
01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:27,320
Speaker 2: take another day or two, or week or months to

1372
01:02:27,800 --> 01:02:29,800
Speaker 2: put the wheels into motion, and what I want to

1373
01:02:29,840 --> 01:02:32,400
Speaker 2: do because I don't have to. Most people with their

1374
01:02:32,480 --> 01:02:34,680
Speaker 2: backs against the walls have no choice. Like you said,

1375
01:02:34,720 --> 01:02:36,400
Speaker 2: your boyfriend came up from Jamaica, Like we know what

1376
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:39,240
Speaker 2: that is like, back against the wall. Gotta come up here,

1377
01:02:39,320 --> 01:02:42,120
Speaker 2: make something of myself. There's no other way. But when

1378
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:45,440
Speaker 2: you do have the leisure of some or the opportunity

1379
01:02:45,600 --> 01:02:48,760
Speaker 2: where someone is taking care of those, you know, those

1380
01:02:48,880 --> 01:02:51,560
Speaker 2: fiscal things that tend to be an issue, then you

1381
01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:55,400
Speaker 2: tend to get complacent. So whatever it is, figure it out,

1382
01:02:55,720 --> 01:02:57,960
Speaker 2: work towards it, but support him in the process if

1383
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:00,360
Speaker 2: he's the one that's up. Because Deval and I literally

1384
01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:03,160
Speaker 2: work on a system where whoever is better equipped in

1385
01:03:03,240 --> 01:03:07,080
Speaker 2: that moment, whoever has the opportunity in that moment, it's

1386
01:03:07,160 --> 01:03:10,640
Speaker 2: everybody rally around it. Devour booked sisters, what do you need, babe.

1387
01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:13,240
Speaker 2: Everybody rallies around him in this moment to be as

1388
01:03:13,280 --> 01:03:16,320
Speaker 2: successful as he can or needs to be in this moment. Kadeen,

1389
01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:18,360
Speaker 2: you got this going on. Everybody rally around her to

1390
01:03:18,440 --> 01:03:20,440
Speaker 2: make sure that she is in the best situation to

1391
01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:23,360
Speaker 2: be successful and just keep doing that. The reciprocity in

1392
01:03:23,400 --> 01:03:26,040
Speaker 2: that is the beauty. So good luck to you. And

1393
01:03:26,280 --> 01:03:27,600
Speaker 2: if you want to be featured as one of our

1394
01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:31,320
Speaker 2: listener letters, email us at Deadass Advice at gmail dot com.

1395
01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:33,840
Speaker 2: We're a couple of seasons into the dead Ass podcast

1396
01:03:33,880 --> 01:03:36,439
Speaker 2: and we just absolutely love hearing from you guys.

1397
01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:38,560
Speaker 1: That's right. That's D E A D A S S

1398
01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:42,160
Speaker 1: A D V I C E at gmail dot com.

1399
01:03:42,440 --> 01:03:45,720
Speaker 2: All right, moment of truth. We're talking about fame and

1400
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:50,280
Speaker 2: fam fan decorum and what that looks like and how

1401
01:03:51,600 --> 01:03:54,960
Speaker 2: there's like a tandem that goes on, you know, between

1402
01:03:55,960 --> 01:03:58,560
Speaker 2: fan and the celebrity symbol. What does that look like? Baby?

1403
01:03:58,600 --> 01:03:59,680
Speaker 2: For you your moment of truth.

1404
01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:05,040
Speaker 1: We are all people. No one, no matter what their

1405
01:04:05,160 --> 01:04:09,560
Speaker 1: job is, signs up to be your entertainment all the time.

1406
01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:15,240
Speaker 1: Respect each other as people. If you're a fan, you

1407
01:04:15,360 --> 01:04:18,440
Speaker 1: have to respect the celebrity as a person, give them

1408
01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:21,040
Speaker 1: some space or time to be able to interact. If

1409
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:23,760
Speaker 1: you're a celebrity, respect the fan as a person and

1410
01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:26,560
Speaker 1: understand the humanity that comes with that person who supports

1411
01:04:26,600 --> 01:04:28,560
Speaker 1: you all the time. So there's going to be a

1412
01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:31,880
Speaker 1: level of excitement. If both people can see the humanity

1413
01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:34,440
Speaker 1: and that interaction, we will all be fine.

1414
01:04:34,720 --> 01:04:37,000
Speaker 2: Everybody will be fine, all right, you know what I'm saying.

1415
01:04:38,880 --> 01:04:41,240
Speaker 2: That's a good one, babe. I guess my moment of

1416
01:04:41,320 --> 01:04:44,880
Speaker 2: truth in this moment is whether you are someone who's

1417
01:04:44,920 --> 01:04:48,880
Speaker 2: in the fame and spotlight or you're a supporter, think

1418
01:04:48,920 --> 01:04:51,400
Speaker 2: about how you'd like to be treated or approach in

1419
01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:54,680
Speaker 2: that moment, you know, because again, the energy that you

1420
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:57,320
Speaker 2: put out is likely the energy that you're going to receive.

1421
01:04:57,480 --> 01:05:00,280
Speaker 2: Absolutely on the back end, and just know that you're

1422
01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:04,480
Speaker 2: not entitled to anything from anybody. Anything that you have

1423
01:05:04,680 --> 01:05:07,560
Speaker 2: in terms of an interaction with someone is out of

1424
01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:09,760
Speaker 2: the goodness and good nature of their heart and spirit

1425
01:05:09,840 --> 01:05:12,880
Speaker 2: in that moment. Nobody is entitled to anything when it

1426
01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:15,840
Speaker 2: comes to personal space. So just keep that in mind

1427
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:18,000
Speaker 2: and continue to love on Deval and I. When you

1428
01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:21,120
Speaker 2: see us in person, say hello, yes, come, say if

1429
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:22,640
Speaker 2: you want to, ask for the picture, ask for the picture,

1430
01:05:22,680 --> 01:05:26,960
Speaker 2: make sure I got a filter, okay, and all that

1431
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:29,160
Speaker 2: good stuff. But we we welcome the love. We genuinely do,

1432
01:05:29,280 --> 01:05:31,960
Speaker 2: and we thank y'all so much. We couldn't do without you.

1433
01:05:32,160 --> 01:05:33,120
Speaker 2: And we see it all the time.

1434
01:05:33,200 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 1: We say it all the time, lem.

1435
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:38,280
Speaker 2: And we live and it's not I'm not saying this

1436
01:05:39,040 --> 01:05:40,680
Speaker 2: just because I'm about to ask y'all to find us

1437
01:05:40,720 --> 01:05:44,160
Speaker 2: on Patreon. I say, at the end of every show, y'all,

1438
01:05:44,200 --> 01:05:46,800
Speaker 2: y'all know the script already, but find us on Patreon

1439
01:05:46,880 --> 01:05:49,640
Speaker 2: to say exclusive dead Ass podcast video content as well

1440
01:05:49,640 --> 01:05:52,000
Speaker 2: as more Ellis Family content. And you can find us

1441
01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:55,080
Speaker 2: on social media at dead Ass the Podcast on Instagram

1442
01:05:55,280 --> 01:05:58,240
Speaker 2: and I am Kadine, I am and I am Devout.

1443
01:05:58,240 --> 01:06:01,280
Speaker 1: And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts or to rate review,

1444
01:06:01,480 --> 01:06:03,840
Speaker 1: subscribe and get your copy of We Over Meet the

1445
01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:06,840
Speaker 1: Counter a post You're getting everything you want out of

1446
01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:07,800
Speaker 1: your relationship.

1447
01:06:07,560 --> 01:06:09,680
Speaker 2: Still getting the books and reading them. I love it, yes, ma'am,

1448
01:06:09,760 --> 01:06:10,480
Speaker 2: I love it. I love it.

1449
01:06:11,440 --> 01:06:16,959
Speaker 1: Dead Ass Cut dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia

1450
01:06:17,080 --> 01:06:20,480
Speaker 1: podcast Network and it's produced by Donor Opinion and Triple

1451
01:06:20,760 --> 01:06:23,240
Speaker 1: Follow the podcast on social media at dead Ass the

1452
01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:24,840
Speaker 1: Podcast and Never Miss a Thing