1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,000
Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.

2
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:09,639
Speaker 1: Chris Harris and Lauren z Ma coming to you from

3
00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,879
Speaker 1: the home office in Austin, Texas, Elsie. One of my

4
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,920
Speaker 1: favorite shows that we do is what we're doing today.

5
00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,960
Speaker 1: We're taking the listeners questions. I don't know why we've

6
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:20,799
Speaker 1: gotten away from this other than we've had great guests

7
00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:22,959
Speaker 1: and we've been just knee deep and so many other

8
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,320
Speaker 1: things to talk about on the podcast. But we thought, man,

9
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,160
Speaker 1: we haven't taken a look at the mail bag in

10
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,200
Speaker 1: a while, and we have a bunch of questions from viewers.

11
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:32,920
Speaker 1: So that's what we're going to do today.

12
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,680
Speaker 2: Thank you all for sending them and through the show's Instagram.

13
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,000
Speaker 2: At the most dramatic pod ever, and we're going to

14
00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:39,880
Speaker 2: dive right in, Babe.

15
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:41,279
Speaker 3: I'm going to start with a question for you.

16
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:45,400
Speaker 2: Okay, just a couple bachelor questions right off the bat.

17
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:46,800
Speaker 3: This one.

18
00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:49,440
Speaker 2: After your interview with Michael Chris, I went back and

19
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:50,520
Speaker 2: I watched Bachelor Pad.

20
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:54,960
Speaker 3: It's so good. Why did they get rid of the franchise?

21
00:00:56,720 --> 00:01:01,480
Speaker 1: Interesting? Because so Bachelor Pad evolved into Bachelor Impaired. Bachelor

22
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,280
Speaker 1: Pad was a good show. It was fun, it was

23
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:07,319
Speaker 1: really done on the cheap. I mean ABC, as I

24
00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:09,960
Speaker 1: said on the podcast if you missed it, ABC really

25
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:14,480
Speaker 1: just wanted something in that August September time slot. That

26
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,240
Speaker 1: is the death of TV. It's like a wasteland of

27
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,840
Speaker 1: TV is kids aren't in school, you haven't got to

28
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,399
Speaker 1: the fall yet, you're in the late summer, so it's

29
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,920
Speaker 1: always reruns and stuff. And so ABC said, we need

30
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:28,040
Speaker 1: something to launch the fall shows. Come up with something.

31
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,760
Speaker 1: That's what Bachelor Pad was. Turns out, it was just

32
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,959
Speaker 1: a huge success, but it was a little bit problematic

33
00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:36,319
Speaker 1: in that it was a game show. At the end,

34
00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:38,440
Speaker 1: there was a prisoner's dilemma. A quarter of a million

35
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:41,360
Speaker 1: dollars was on the line, and the show really became

36
00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,120
Speaker 1: about that. And we also have to follow different standards

37
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:47,880
Speaker 1: and practices. Legally, it's a game show, and we're always,

38
00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:53,200
Speaker 1: you know, as producers were more apt to manipulate and

39
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:57,120
Speaker 1: bend and try to create drama and love and relationships,

40
00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:58,920
Speaker 1: and you can't do that if there's a quarter million

41
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:02,360
Speaker 1: dollars on the line. Legally, they weren't supposed to do

42
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,760
Speaker 1: that anyway, And so that is really why Bachelor Pad

43
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:08,639
Speaker 1: came to an end. And honestly, it became so successful.

44
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,480
Speaker 1: ABC's like, let's do a bigger, better show, and that's

45
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:14,040
Speaker 1: where Paradise came from. And it became a huge success

46
00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:16,639
Speaker 1: and one of our highest rated shows.

47
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,679
Speaker 3: Oh and they didn't do it this summer. I don't

48
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:19,480
Speaker 3: know if they'll bring it back.

49
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know they say that they the word is

50
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,200
Speaker 1: they were going to bring it back, but I don't know.

51
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,440
Speaker 1: With the numbers that Bachelor, this Golden Bachelorette has not

52
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,680
Speaker 1: been very successful. The ratings are down considerably and they're struggling,

53
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:35,080
Speaker 1: don't I don't know they You know, they loved they

54
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,600
Speaker 1: made it big. It was awesome and it employed a

55
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,520
Speaker 1: lot of my friends, including Will's Adams, And I was

56
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:43,280
Speaker 1: bummed it didn't come back. They they say it is,

57
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,680
Speaker 1: but you know, the networks promise a lot of things.

58
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:46,600
Speaker 1: We'll see if it comes back.

59
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:47,919
Speaker 3: Did they actually say it was coming back?

60
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,280
Speaker 1: They did again. I think part of that was because

61
00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,600
Speaker 1: they were mad at me for saying it was canceled.

62
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,640
Speaker 1: I didn't say it was canceled. I said it definitely

63
00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:56,520
Speaker 1: was not coming back this summer, which I thought was

64
00:02:56,560 --> 00:03:00,040
Speaker 1: common knowledge. They got mad at me. They had the

65
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:03,040
Speaker 1: tabloids right immediate article saying that I was wrong and

66
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,640
Speaker 1: I had jumped the gun. I was right, it didn't

67
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,679
Speaker 1: come back. I was like, all you guys got to

68
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,440
Speaker 1: do is wait till June. It's not going to be

69
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:13,320
Speaker 1: on television. I never got the retraction from those tabloids

70
00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:16,000
Speaker 1: because it was just a statement of fact. I knew

71
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,800
Speaker 1: for a fact that people had already been called. They

72
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:20,800
Speaker 1: already told the host, they had already told the executive

73
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,800
Speaker 1: producers that the show wasn't coming back, so it wasn't

74
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,560
Speaker 1: a secret. But then they quickly came out and said no, no,

75
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,280
Speaker 1: we'll be back next summer. So I hope they actually

76
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:29,680
Speaker 1: will be the same.

77
00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,280
Speaker 3: Person is bringing up something specific.

78
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,200
Speaker 2: I don't know because I didn't watch Bachelor Pad, but

79
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:37,400
Speaker 2: Dave planned a full mooch on your lips at the finale.

80
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,800
Speaker 2: I feel like he didn't even kiss Natalie that way.

81
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:40,880
Speaker 2: Do you remember that.

82
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:45,720
Speaker 1: David Good, I don't remember that was I assaulted. I

83
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:49,000
Speaker 1: don't remember that, but I do remember being just so

84
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,520
Speaker 1: shocked at the end of that episode, because you know,

85
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,000
Speaker 1: there's two hundred fifty thousand dollars on the line. I

86
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,920
Speaker 1: don't remember that. I need to go back and.

87
00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,480
Speaker 3: Watch, let's go back and watch that.

88
00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:01,160
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I'll be honest, I didn't even know Bachelor

89
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,800
Speaker 2: Pad was available to watch, Like, are you getting these royalties?

90
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:04,920
Speaker 3: Where are people watching this?

91
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,320
Speaker 1: I do get some weird royalties sometimes when things are

92
00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,120
Speaker 1: sold overseas or you know, it goes somewhere on deep

93
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:10,920
Speaker 1: cable or something.

94
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,960
Speaker 2: You know, we get a check for like ten cents.

95
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,800
Speaker 2: Royalty checks are hilarious.

96
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,560
Speaker 3: I've seen it. We've both gotten checks for like a

97
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:17,880
Speaker 3: penny before. It's so funny.

98
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,880
Speaker 2: In both of your jobs and other views of yours,

99
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:26,800
Speaker 2: asking previously you did not really speak about politics or journalism.

100
00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:30,240
Speaker 2: Why is it something you are speaking about now? Well,

101
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,720
Speaker 2: I don't totally know how to take this because in

102
00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,200
Speaker 2: my previous job I was only a journalist, so I

103
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,280
Speaker 2: definitely talked about journalists.

104
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:40,760
Speaker 3: So maybe people mean more for you.

105
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,400
Speaker 2: But and I don't think that we're you know, we

106
00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:46,880
Speaker 2: are really to make it clear, We've done a couple

107
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:52,159
Speaker 2: episodes analyzing the media and the media's coverage of this election,

108
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,520
Speaker 2: media ratings and media personalities, how media personalities are conducting

109
00:04:56,560 --> 00:05:01,120
Speaker 2: themselves as journalists, and that that's where our interest lies.

110
00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:03,480
Speaker 2: We never want to tell you guys who to vote

111
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,960
Speaker 2: for or how to vote. But I'm just interested in

112
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,400
Speaker 2: how the media covers it. And we both have deep

113
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:12,920
Speaker 2: backgrounds in journalism, both went to journalism schools, so definitely

114
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,960
Speaker 2: this is we consider it our industry and we get

115
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,160
Speaker 2: interested in the ratings and how it's being conducted in

116
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:18,720
Speaker 2: its future.

117
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:20,839
Speaker 1: I definitely stayed away from it when I was on

118
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,039
Speaker 1: Bachelor and Bacherette because I never wanted that to be

119
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,120
Speaker 1: a topic of discussion.

120
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:25,720
Speaker 3: Politics.

121
00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:31,120
Speaker 1: Nos, honestly, politics and journalism. I just I didn't dabble

122
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,679
Speaker 1: in any of those things because I knew what people

123
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,440
Speaker 1: were watching the show for, which was I was your escape.

124
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,560
Speaker 1: I wanted to provide that escape. It was a bit

125
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,800
Speaker 1: of a soap opera, if you will, And I always

126
00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:42,719
Speaker 1: wanted to be that for whatever you were going through

127
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,560
Speaker 1: in life, not just politics, but everything. And I've heard

128
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:47,840
Speaker 1: some great stories that you were our escape if we

129
00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:49,920
Speaker 1: were going through an illness in the family or something,

130
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,599
Speaker 1: and so I was proud to be that. But after

131
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:57,440
Speaker 1: finding and falling in love with Lauren, there is a

132
00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:00,240
Speaker 1: very particular thing that we are both passionate about. We

133
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,280
Speaker 1: both grew up in journalism, we both cut our teeth

134
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,640
Speaker 1: and journalism and it's important to us and we debate

135
00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,600
Speaker 1: this all the time, and that's what we wanted this

136
00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:10,880
Speaker 1: podcast to be was honest and what LZ and I

137
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:14,039
Speaker 1: are really excited about and talking about. And one thing

138
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:16,600
Speaker 1: is the rise and fall of journalism, how it's evolved

139
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,039
Speaker 1: and what's going on. And I worked my first job

140
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,240
Speaker 1: was at a news station in Oklahoma City. I was

141
00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:23,760
Speaker 1: a journalist and that's what I graduated college with and

142
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,240
Speaker 1: my degree is in journalism. So it's always been near

143
00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:28,480
Speaker 1: and dear to my heart. It's just I never wanted

144
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,000
Speaker 1: to bring that into my bachelor world. But now that

145
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,080
Speaker 1: you and I have these debates, it is fascinating what's

146
00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,200
Speaker 1: going on to us. And so it's what Laura and

147
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,520
Speaker 1: I are talking about is we're eating our dinner. So

148
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,680
Speaker 1: it's what we talk about on the most dramatic podcast ever.

149
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:43,120
Speaker 2: And there's definitely different modes you can be in, right Like,

150
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,279
Speaker 2: for sure with The Bachelor, you were in host mode,

151
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,720
Speaker 2: but you started as a sports broadcaster. I've never been

152
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,760
Speaker 2: a political journalist. But for example, like even being at

153
00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:56,000
Speaker 2: Entertainment Tonight when it was like election time, we would

154
00:06:56,040 --> 00:07:00,040
Speaker 2: sometimes ask celebrities different political questions I mean, obviously the

155
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,119
Speaker 2: celebrities go out and endorse people, so it could become

156
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,200
Speaker 2: the topic of an interview.

157
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,960
Speaker 3: So there's always going to be a little overlap, and

158
00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,520
Speaker 3: you might be in different modes.

159
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:10,880
Speaker 2: I mean, we see people, I think you always have

160
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:13,960
Speaker 2: to also look at like who's doing the interviews you're

161
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:17,280
Speaker 2: watching and what they're bringing to the table, Like a

162
00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:20,480
Speaker 2: Joe Rogan is kind of having a conversation with people

163
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,200
Speaker 2: on his podcast. There are some people who are very

164
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:28,760
Speaker 2: classically trained journalists who should be doing a more you know,

165
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:32,440
Speaker 2: gritty interview and really pushing their subject and challenging their subject.

166
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,800
Speaker 2: And then you have some people who like, I don't know,

167
00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:38,760
Speaker 2: like a George Stephanopolis. I mean he was a political consultant, right.

168
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:41,240
Speaker 1: Who then kind of in the amistration.

169
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, so then he became an on air political person,

170
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,240
Speaker 2: but then now he sort of does just interviews with people.

171
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:49,520
Speaker 2: And that's always interesting to me too because he wasn't

172
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,440
Speaker 2: necessarily trained in that world, but he's come into that world.

173
00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:55,080
Speaker 2: So there's different hosts and modes and overlap, and we're

174
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,000
Speaker 2: fascinated by it all.

175
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:59,000
Speaker 1: I'm going to change direction here and go to kind

176
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,040
Speaker 1: of what our wheel has else is, and that's love

177
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:07,600
Speaker 1: and relationships. My fiance still flirts. It is something that

178
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:11,880
Speaker 1: he just cannot help himself with. I know it's harmless

179
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,600
Speaker 1: and he will be coming home with me. Is it

180
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,600
Speaker 1: okay to continue to let it go and be more

181
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:21,440
Speaker 1: secure in myself? Or should I say something because it

182
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,120
Speaker 1: does bother me a little bit? What's your take?

183
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:28,320
Speaker 2: My take is that if it's something that consistently bothers you,

184
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:31,080
Speaker 2: you have to say something because where is it going

185
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:32,920
Speaker 2: to go from here? It's only going to fester, it

186
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:37,240
Speaker 2: will only you'll probably blow up at some point. I

187
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,400
Speaker 2: don't think you can live in a relationship with something

188
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:44,120
Speaker 2: that underlying bothers you consistently, right, And I'm not talking

189
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:46,520
Speaker 2: about oh, he doesn't pick his towel up off the floor,

190
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:47,960
Speaker 2: you know, pick your battles.

191
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,920
Speaker 3: But this seems like a big enough issue to bring

192
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:51,360
Speaker 3: up to.

193
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,920
Speaker 2: Me, I even just to talk about it, even to just,

194
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,480
Speaker 2: you know, not to come at it from a combative place,

195
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,199
Speaker 2: but to say, hey, you know, can we talk about

196
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:02,160
Speaker 2: this like it kind of bothers me, It hurts me

197
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,880
Speaker 2: a little bit, And maybe his response will be as

198
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:06,839
Speaker 2: easily as oh, my gosh, I don't want you to

199
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:07,480
Speaker 2: feel that way.

200
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:08,880
Speaker 3: Let me be more aware of that.

201
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:13,559
Speaker 1: People don't know until you say something. So the worst

202
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,720
Speaker 1: thing you can do in this situation is let it go.

203
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,920
Speaker 1: Let it fester, because as you said, it's bothering you

204
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:23,880
Speaker 1: a little bit, and it will manifest anxiety with you

205
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,760
Speaker 1: and resentment, and eventually that resentment is going to cause

206
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:29,000
Speaker 1: a bigger problem. So, as Lauren just said, and I

207
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,679
Speaker 1: will echo, you don't have to, you know, do it

208
00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:35,120
Speaker 1: in an attacking way, because it doesn't. It's not the

209
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,160
Speaker 1: end all be all to you, as you said, but

210
00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,000
Speaker 1: I definitely would say, hey, babe, look, I know you're

211
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,800
Speaker 1: a flirt and honestly, that's one of the things I

212
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,720
Speaker 1: like about you is you're so personable and charismatic. But

213
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,400
Speaker 1: it does bother me sometimes it goes a little bit

214
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,840
Speaker 1: too far. And look, I love you and I know

215
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,240
Speaker 1: you're going home with me. Can you just be cognizant

216
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:54,760
Speaker 1: of that so you know, it's all in how you

217
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:58,040
Speaker 1: articulate it, so he's not defensive. And because it probably

218
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,800
Speaker 1: is something you adore about him, that he was so

219
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,839
Speaker 1: flirty with you and so fun to.

220
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:04,760
Speaker 3: Be around, I will say we had more on the

221
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:05,880
Speaker 3: definition of flirt here.

222
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, there's a big spectrum.

223
00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:10,679
Speaker 2: I will say, I think people can talk to people

224
00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:13,360
Speaker 2: of other genders and other like, we all have to

225
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,480
Speaker 2: be comfortable and confident in allowing our partner to converse

226
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:17,200
Speaker 2: with other people.

227
00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:20,080
Speaker 3: But flirting to.

228
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,400
Speaker 2: Me, like, you know, you don't if you're the guy

229
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,160
Speaker 2: and you're engaged to somebody else and you're like, I

230
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,160
Speaker 2: don't know, pulling in another woman to sit on your lap,

231
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,360
Speaker 2: and it's oh, just flirting, No, not okay to me.

232
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,560
Speaker 2: Everybody can feel where their line is.

233
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,680
Speaker 1: Another very interesting one, babe. And I'm dating someone who

234
00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,960
Speaker 1: drinks and I am not a big drinker. I feel

235
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,680
Speaker 1: like he wishes I drink more. Do you think a

236
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:55,079
Speaker 1: relationship with people on two sides of the drink to

237
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:56,760
Speaker 1: be social fence could work?

238
00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,800
Speaker 2: I think that you need to be it a pretty

239
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:06,160
Speaker 2: similar level of social of socializing as your partner.

240
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:06,559
Speaker 3: I do.

241
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:11,400
Speaker 2: I've dated people with addiction struggles in the past, and

242
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:16,160
Speaker 2: I will say it's hard because when someone is and

243
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,679
Speaker 2: this person obviously isn't talking about addiction, but just like

244
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,080
Speaker 2: for comparison's sake, when someone has an addiction issue, that

245
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,160
Speaker 2: has to be like a major priority in their life.

246
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,320
Speaker 2: It has to be for them to stay healthy, and

247
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,640
Speaker 2: it's hard if you're somebody who likes to like go

248
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:32,960
Speaker 2: out and socialize and have a drink and your partner

249
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:37,439
Speaker 2: isn't that comfortable with it, or it's even potentially problematic

250
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,840
Speaker 2: for them. I think that it really helps to be

251
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:44,400
Speaker 2: in a relationship where you socialize similarly like you. You know,

252
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:47,160
Speaker 2: what I always say is we all want to enjoy life. Right,

253
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,640
Speaker 2: We'll find somebody who enjoys life the same way as you,

254
00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:51,160
Speaker 2: and your life's going to be a lot easier and

255
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:55,280
Speaker 2: have a lot less conflict. I think drinking at the

256
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:58,000
Speaker 2: same level, liking to go out at the same level.

257
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,560
Speaker 2: You know some people are homebodies in their relationship together.

258
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:02,720
Speaker 2: But yeah, I think that's a potential problem.

259
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:03,200
Speaker 3: What do you think?

260
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:07,480
Speaker 1: I agree, And you know, you and I have this

261
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,960
Speaker 1: discussion a lot. I think when we're young, you hear

262
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:15,240
Speaker 1: that opposites a track, opposites a tract, and you know.

263
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:16,960
Speaker 3: You think I want someone who balances me.

264
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:21,000
Speaker 1: This person's nothing like me at all. He's a homebody.

265
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,280
Speaker 1: I love to go out and party. We're perfect together.

266
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,800
Speaker 1: You grow up and you learn hmm, I like to

267
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,240
Speaker 1: go out and party and he's a homebody.

268
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,960
Speaker 3: And now I'm out alone. And because I'm out, do.

269
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:33,920
Speaker 1: You have to be exactly the same? No, And I

270
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,400
Speaker 1: think it is wonderful that you have different attributes than

271
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,360
Speaker 1: I have and vice versa, and we push each other

272
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,400
Speaker 1: and pull each other in different directions to expand our horizons.

273
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:46,080
Speaker 1: But with that said, I do think similar interest. I'll

274
00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:49,800
Speaker 1: be honest. I love wine. I love going to the

275
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:53,240
Speaker 1: wine country. We just recently took a trip back to

276
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:56,079
Speaker 1: where we got married, which was Napa Valley. You love

277
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:57,880
Speaker 1: it as much as I do. You love the people,

278
00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:01,600
Speaker 1: you love the romance of it. And neither one of us,

279
00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:04,839
Speaker 1: I would say, are huge drinkers. But we both do

280
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,839
Speaker 1: it about the same level, I would say, and it's

281
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,600
Speaker 1: something that's a part of our relationship. And I do

282
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:11,880
Speaker 1: think that that is important.

283
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:13,920
Speaker 2: I think you need one of You're going to be

284
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,440
Speaker 2: happy if you find someone who likes to live life

285
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:17,240
Speaker 2: the same way as you.

286
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,599
Speaker 1: So I'll ask you one more question. You need to

287
00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:24,120
Speaker 1: lead this off. This is in your wheelhouse. I am

288
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,880
Speaker 1: having such a hard time getting back into dating after

289
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:30,440
Speaker 1: my divorce. My self esteem is down and I don't

290
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,080
Speaker 1: want to get on the apps any advice to get

291
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,000
Speaker 1: myself to a place where I am more comfortable to

292
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:37,880
Speaker 1: get out there. And I'll just let you know too.

293
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:41,480
Speaker 1: We have a great podcast with doctor Viviana Coole and

294
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:44,240
Speaker 1: it's kind of dabbles a lot in this, so look

295
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,960
Speaker 1: for that on the most dramatic podcast ever. But Babe,

296
00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:48,880
Speaker 1: this is so in your wheelhouse.

297
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:53,040
Speaker 3: Well yours too. We're both devor says, but thank you.

298
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,120
Speaker 1: You're just a good hype woman.

299
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,400
Speaker 2: Oh, I just want to give this woman so much hype.

300
00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:58,719
Speaker 2: One thing I hate hearing from friends of mine who

301
00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:01,640
Speaker 2: have gotten divorced or had big breakups is they're afraid

302
00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:04,160
Speaker 2: to get out there. They are you know, they don't

303
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,440
Speaker 2: want to start over that kind of thing. I just

304
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,520
Speaker 2: think we need a massive rebrand on all of these terms.

305
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:13,120
Speaker 2: Divorce can be a good thing. It's a hard thing,

306
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,640
Speaker 2: but it can be a good thing. Obviously something wasn't working.

307
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,440
Speaker 2: Now is your chance to find something better. Starting over

308
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:23,040
Speaker 2: can be a great thing. And my biggest thing about

309
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:24,640
Speaker 2: dating after divorce.

310
00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,320
Speaker 3: Look at it as practice.

311
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:31,120
Speaker 2: This date isn't going to make or break your happiness level.

312
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,480
Speaker 2: It's not going to make or break who you are

313
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,760
Speaker 2: as a person. If it goes horribly. You have a

314
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,320
Speaker 2: great story to tell your friends. When I got divorced,

315
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,000
Speaker 2: I thought, well, I'm going to go out and date,

316
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,480
Speaker 2: and like, who cares what happens. I don't have if

317
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,240
Speaker 2: this date goes badly, I don't have to ever see

318
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:46,200
Speaker 2: this guy again. And I just looked at it as like,

319
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,000
Speaker 2: let me just go have some fun, meet people, see

320
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,440
Speaker 2: what's out there. And I think dating, like, I actually

321
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,320
Speaker 2: think it's a good thing. To go on as many

322
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:57,040
Speaker 2: dates as you can. You're getting your reps in, You're

323
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,440
Speaker 2: getting that fear out of you.

324
00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:01,080
Speaker 3: Like it's just like the ten thousand hour rule. You

325
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,840
Speaker 3: get better at something when you do it a lot,

326
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,920
Speaker 3: like go out on a lot of dates.

327
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,960
Speaker 2: More than you might even want to with people you

328
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,640
Speaker 2: might not even feel that confident about, just to get

329
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,480
Speaker 2: yourself feeling good and confident and get that practice in.

330
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,440
Speaker 1: I'm guessing the person that asks this is a little

331
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,600
Speaker 1: bit older. You might even have kids, much like I

332
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:18,640
Speaker 1: did when I started dating, and I look at it,

333
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:23,360
Speaker 1: what would you tell your child as they start dating?

334
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,320
Speaker 1: What would your advice be? Would it be be timid,

335
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,600
Speaker 1: be afraid it's scary out there? No, you would tell

336
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:32,960
Speaker 1: your son or daughter get out there. Life's waiting for you.

337
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,640
Speaker 1: Yeah you're going to trip and fall, but that just

338
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,040
Speaker 1: makes for a good story. You pick yourself up. You've

339
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,200
Speaker 1: learned more about yourself. You learn what you like, you

340
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:42,320
Speaker 1: learn what you don't like, and that makes you better

341
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,560
Speaker 1: for the next person, and then you're going to learn again.

342
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:47,200
Speaker 1: So what advice would you give a friend? What advice

343
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,000
Speaker 1: would you give your child? Take that advice? It is

344
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:53,080
Speaker 1: so hard to look in the mirror. But yeah it's daunting,

345
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,440
Speaker 1: Yeah it's scary. But would you tell anybody that those

346
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:58,560
Speaker 1: are reasons to not get out there and play the game?

347
00:15:58,760 --> 00:15:59,440
Speaker 1: So true we are.

348
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,560
Speaker 2: I always say I try to give myself the advice

349
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,880
Speaker 2: I would give a friend. And you know, I want

350
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,480
Speaker 2: to note here this person says my self esteem is down.

351
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,480
Speaker 3: I hate hearing that from you. I'm sorry and I

352
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:09,880
Speaker 3: get that.

353
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:13,280
Speaker 2: You know, when you've been through divorce a rejection period,

354
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:15,360
Speaker 2: you know, our self esteem takes a hit, and then

355
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,640
Speaker 2: we fear dating is going to be more rejection, our

356
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,080
Speaker 2: self esteem will take more of a hit. But what

357
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,480
Speaker 2: I want to say there is I think everybody out

358
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,280
Speaker 2: there is feeling that way. I think you know, people

359
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,760
Speaker 2: on dating apps everybody's feeling insecure.

360
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, and let me just add one more thing. Your

361
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,840
Speaker 1: self esteem might be down because maybe you got out

362
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,640
Speaker 1: of a bad relationship. Maybe he or she said something

363
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,280
Speaker 1: that really hits you, you know, in a bitter way

364
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,960
Speaker 1: as they were walking out the door. You know, it

365
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:45,120
Speaker 1: can help your self esteem being flirted with, being hit on,

366
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:48,480
Speaker 1: going on a date, having a good makeout session. So true,

367
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:52,400
Speaker 1: you don't feel higher in life than when those dopamine,

368
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,040
Speaker 1: you know, and it all kicks in when someone just

369
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,520
Speaker 1: smiles at you from across the bar buys you a drink.

370
00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,160
Speaker 1: It doesn't even have to lead to anything but go

371
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,560
Speaker 1: out there and find that. That will build your self esteem.

372
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:05,640
Speaker 3: All right.

373
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:10,200
Speaker 2: More dating in a relationship questions. I have been dating

374
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:13,919
Speaker 2: my boyfriend for four years and he forgot my birthday.

375
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,919
Speaker 2: It's been a few days, still nothing.

376
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:18,760
Speaker 3: How should I handle it?

377
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,639
Speaker 1: Call a spade a spade man. At this point, you

378
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:26,280
Speaker 1: got to call it out. It's not like just be like, hey, babe,

379
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:30,040
Speaker 1: not for nothing, but you missed my birthday. It was

380
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:33,800
Speaker 1: five days ago. That was a big miss. And my guess,

381
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,439
Speaker 1: if he's a good person, he will throw himself at

382
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:39,439
Speaker 1: the mercy of the court and be like, oh my god,

383
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,159
Speaker 1: I can't believe I did that. I can't fathom how

384
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,640
Speaker 1: bad I would feel if I missed your birthday, and

385
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:48,400
Speaker 1: or vice versa, if you missed mine, we would be devastated.

386
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,920
Speaker 1: If life's happening, who knows what he's going through or

387
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,439
Speaker 1: she's going through. Give him a little grace. If you

388
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,160
Speaker 1: really love this person. It's not a career ender, it's

389
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,840
Speaker 1: not a relationship ender. Have a little grace. But at

390
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:03,840
Speaker 1: the same time, don't just let the animosity build. Say something.

391
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:05,479
Speaker 1: Just be like, hey, it hurt me a little bit.

392
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:07,639
Speaker 1: My birthday was last week. Be honest.

393
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,240
Speaker 3: It could be a good wake up call moment.

394
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I don't think it's a relationship ender, but

395
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,560
Speaker 2: I but I do.

396
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,840
Speaker 3: You think it's a moment where that person will hopefully

397
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,320
Speaker 3: be very sorry. My heart really make it up to you.

398
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:19,760
Speaker 1: You know, it's funny. My heart just went out to

399
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,720
Speaker 1: the person that forgot. I think. I'm just like, oh god, buddy,

400
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:23,880
Speaker 1: what did you do? Well?

401
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:25,840
Speaker 2: And their reaction can tell a lot, right if they

402
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,880
Speaker 2: get mad at you back, or if they aren't sorry, well,

403
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:30,199
Speaker 2: that certainly tells you a lot.

404
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,560
Speaker 1: If he or she comes back with you know how

405
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,200
Speaker 1: busy I am, then that's a big red flag.

406
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,720
Speaker 2: But you know when people say when people like forget

407
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,520
Speaker 2: birthdays and stuff and they aren't sorry about it and

408
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:41,720
Speaker 2: they say they're busy, I'm like, it's on the same

409
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,760
Speaker 2: day every year. They had a whole year to prepare

410
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,360
Speaker 2: for it. Okay, So I don't like the busy excuse.

411
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,119
Speaker 1: I have a great question to end on. Shall we

412
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:55,360
Speaker 1: end sure? Okay, what elements of different dating shows would

413
00:18:55,440 --> 00:19:00,200
Speaker 1: you put together to make your ultimate dating show? I

414
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,800
Speaker 1: wanted to end with this is the answer is I'm

415
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,800
Speaker 1: not going to give you an answer, because we're going

416
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,840
Speaker 1: to show you. Lauren has taught me in our relationship show,

417
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:12,399
Speaker 1: Don't Tell We're going to show you we have some

418
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,439
Speaker 1: exciting stuff in the hopper, and we're going to show you,

419
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:18,320
Speaker 1: not tell you of what we think will make the

420
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,640
Speaker 1: ultimate most dramatic dating show ever.

421
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,800
Speaker 2: Thank you everybody. We definitely yeah, we already have that

422
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,920
Speaker 2: in mind. I think so it's going to be really exciting.

423
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,960
Speaker 2: We appreciate all your questions. Thank you for bringing the

424
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,280
Speaker 2: best kind of drama into our lives, and we love

425
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:36,600
Speaker 2: you so much. And dm us at the show's Instagram

426
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:37,840
Speaker 2: anytime yeah.

427
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,440
Speaker 1: At the Most Dramatic Pod at the Most Dramatic Pod

428
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,080
Speaker 1: on Insta and you can always reach us there, and

429
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,440
Speaker 1: obviously you can always reach Elsie and I via our

430
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,000
Speaker 1: Instagram as well. So good talking to you, Thank you

431
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,720
Speaker 1: for your questions, thank you for listening. We love you guys,

432
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,520
Speaker 1: and we'll do it again next time because we have

433
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,399
Speaker 1: a lot more to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow

434
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,240
Speaker 1: us on Instagram at the Most Dramatic Pod ever and

435
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,160
Speaker 1: make sure to write us a review and leave us

436
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,360
Speaker 1: five stars. I'll talk to you next time.