1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,320 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:19,959 Speaker 1: tip is that when you feel impatient or irritated with 4 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: another person, consider whether you would want to swap situations 5 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:29,320 Speaker 1: with them. Often, thinking about what they might be dealing 6 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:34,159 Speaker 1: with can nudgus toward a little more empathy, or at 7 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 1: least suggest more effective ways of communicating with them. So 8 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,519 Speaker 1: I recently heard of a person complaining about an interaction 9 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:46,680 Speaker 1: with a difficult colleague, but then saying I wouldn't want 10 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 1: to swap inboxes with her. In other words, yes, the 11 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:55,000 Speaker 1: person is a pain to work with, but she has 12 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: a job that is often tedious and difficult, and her 13 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 1: inbox is one headache after another, so perhaps she warrants 14 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 1: a little compassion. I think it is a good mindset 15 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 1: in general. When someone is behaving badly, think would you 16 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: want to swap with them? I sometimes get irritated when 17 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:21,319 Speaker 1: someone honks or does something rude while driving, but I 18 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 1: try to think, well, hey, I am driving back to 19 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 1: my beautiful family and my beautiful home, and I have 20 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,760 Speaker 1: no idea what that person is so upset with in life. 21 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:35,399 Speaker 1: But I have no good reason to be wouldn't want 22 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:40,040 Speaker 1: to swap. When you are frustrated with your interactions with someone, 23 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,480 Speaker 1: it might help to imagine you had their inbox, their 24 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 1: to do list, their calendar, their irritations, their stresses. That 25 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: person who is kurt at the store may have been 26 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:55,680 Speaker 1: dealing with rude customers all day. The stressed physician may 27 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:58,760 Speaker 1: have just been delivering bad news to three patients in 28 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 1: a row. Rightful for you. That doesn't mean it's okay 29 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:06,840 Speaker 1: to be grumpy or impatient, but if you pictured yourself 30 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:10,880 Speaker 1: swapping situations with the person, you might feel pretty irritated 31 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:15,240 Speaker 1: with the world as well. Even people you know reasonably 32 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,079 Speaker 1: well can have their trials. You might actually know more 33 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: about these when you think about it. It is annoying 34 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 1: to hear from a former colleague exactly twice a year, 35 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: and always when she needs something from you, But hey, 36 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 1: it would be frustrating to have gone through a series 37 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 1: of jobs in rapid succession and to be repeatedly doing 38 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:39,160 Speaker 1: this networking from a place of need. You wouldn't want 39 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 1: to swap with that situation. Realizing that will probably nudge 40 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: you to help if you can, if nothing else, Asking 41 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:51,360 Speaker 1: what it would be like to swap with a person 42 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:56,919 Speaker 1: might give you ideas for better communication. For instance, if 43 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 1: your kids are grown up, but a colleague has three 44 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:03,040 Speaker 1: children ages six and under who need to be delivered 45 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:06,639 Speaker 1: to separate daycares and before school programs each day, you 46 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:10,800 Speaker 1: might recognize that swapping your morning routines would make you 47 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:14,400 Speaker 1: stress too. This is not the time to be texting 48 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,680 Speaker 1: your colleague with last minute requests for your nine am meeting. 49 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:22,920 Speaker 1: Best to get those in the day before. If you 50 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,799 Speaker 1: know someone gets a ton of email, if you picture 51 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: yourself with that inbox, you'd know that you would want 52 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 1: six sync messages with the question in the subject line, 53 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:39,320 Speaker 1: So send those kinds of emails to that person. We 54 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 1: can never understand another person's experience fully, but when we 55 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 1: give a little thought to what it could be like 56 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,120 Speaker 1: to swap with them, we may find ourselves being more 57 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 1: patient and perhaps more effective. Those are always good things. 58 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 1: In the meantime, This is Laura, Thanks for listening, and 59 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for 60 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 1: listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, 61 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 1: you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 62 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:31,280 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts 63 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:35,919 Speaker 1: from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or 64 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,800 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.