1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,760 Speaker 1: Buck up up, hold on tight. Here it is strawberry letter. 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:08,119 Speaker 1: Thank you nephew, subject my wife and kids. Dear Stephen Shirley. 3 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:11,560 Speaker 1: This is probably the hardest decision I've ever had to make. 4 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,760 Speaker 1: I have two teenage children and their mother and I 5 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:19,159 Speaker 1: separated uh ten years ago, but I have maintained a 6 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:23,640 Speaker 1: solid co parenting relationship. Five years ago, I got remarried 7 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:26,439 Speaker 1: and my new wife seemed to accept my children and 8 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:29,440 Speaker 1: played a decent role as a step mom. That didn't 9 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:33,320 Speaker 1: last long, and she eventually started treating them poorly. My 10 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:37,440 Speaker 1: teenagers became increasingly uncomfortable when they came over for the weekend. 11 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 1: Over time, things have gotten worse, and my children started 12 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:44,639 Speaker 1: making excuses not to come over. My mother in law 13 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,280 Speaker 1: has come to live with us temporarily, and she has 14 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,920 Speaker 1: added fuel to the fire by saying that my children 15 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 1: are getting older and don't need to come over as 16 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: often as they used to, and since my mother in 17 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 1: law's there, my wife says there's no room for the 18 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: kids on the weekends. I've told my wife that her 19 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 1: mother is not going to live with us permanently, but 20 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 1: my children will forever be a part of our lives. 21 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:09,039 Speaker 1: My wife and my mother in law are depriving me 22 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:12,200 Speaker 1: of quality time with my children. I told her that 23 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,320 Speaker 1: our home will always be open to my children, whether 24 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:18,640 Speaker 1: she likes it or not. I'm tired of arguing about it. 25 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 1: So I've decided it's time for me to go because 26 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:25,120 Speaker 1: my sole responsibility in life is to my children. No 27 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 1: matter how much I love my wife, I would never 28 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: put her before my children. I have told her that 29 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 1: I want a divorce because I will not live without 30 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,400 Speaker 1: my children. My wife does not seem to care how 31 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 1: this affects me, So I need to know. Am I 32 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,840 Speaker 1: wrong for deciding to leave this woman? How would you 33 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:47,360 Speaker 1: handle this situation? Please help? Wow my wife and kids? Uh? 34 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: Aptly titled, I would say, but um, yeah, your wife 35 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 1: is the issue here because she wants to separate you 36 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: and your children. Now, as far as putting your kids 37 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 1: first and all of that. You know, if you want 38 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: to get biblical, it says, um, you know, leaving when 39 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,519 Speaker 1: you get married, leaving cleave. But your kids were there 40 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: before your wife, so you know this is a problem because, um, 41 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,640 Speaker 1: you're letting your wife dictate, Um, how you should what 42 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 1: kind of relationship you you have with your kids? And uh, 43 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,920 Speaker 1: the kind of relationship that you have with them is 44 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 1: wrong because they're constantly getting pushed out of your life. 45 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,800 Speaker 1: I'm glad you took a stand. I'm glad you stepped 46 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 1: up and stood up to your wife. And uh, you know, 47 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 1: I don't necessarily know if divorce is the way to 48 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: go in this situation, but you guys definitely definitely need 49 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 1: to work on this marriage here. I mean, you know, 50 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 1: I hate this because it's breaking up a family, and 51 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 1: not just one family, but two families, and your mother 52 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: in law is there and she's adding fuel to the fire. 53 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:59,239 Speaker 1: You guys really need to to talk about this situation. 54 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 1: I don't know if you have already, but you really 55 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: need to talk because your your kids are the ones 56 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 1: that are losing out of precious time, like you say, 57 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,639 Speaker 1: with their father, and they need that no matter how 58 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:14,360 Speaker 1: old they are, you'll always be their father. Um. I 59 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,560 Speaker 1: think divorce is taking it too far right now before 60 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 1: you guys sit down and talk about it, though, Steve, Well, 61 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:26,800 Speaker 1: I think they've had lots of talks. Mm hmm. The 62 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:30,120 Speaker 1: thing has gotten worse over time, things have gotten worse, 63 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:33,799 Speaker 1: and your children started making excuses not to come over 64 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 1: because kids get older, they get smarter. She mistreated us. 65 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:41,440 Speaker 1: She on't want us over there, so they didn't started 66 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:45,000 Speaker 1: making excuses. Now my mother in law, your mother in 67 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 1: law has come to live with us temporarily, and she 68 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 1: didn't add a few to the fire by saying that 69 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,440 Speaker 1: my children are getting older and don't need to come 70 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,000 Speaker 1: over as often as they used to. Now, see your 71 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 1: asses the one that's too old, See the mother in law, 72 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 1: She the one that got old and don't need to 73 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 1: be there. See, that's the one that that that's see 74 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 1: that that my mother in law has come to live 75 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: with us. Tip, and she's added by saying that my 76 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: children are getting older and don't need to come over 77 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,800 Speaker 1: as often as they used to. She the one don't 78 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,919 Speaker 1: need to be over there often. The mother in law don't. 79 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:24,000 Speaker 1: So I found that disturbing. Then your wife says there's 80 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 1: no room for the kids on the weekends because her 81 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 1: mama there. Wait, hold on, hold on, I can't see 82 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 1: my kids because your mama here, Your wife and mother 83 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 1: in law depriving your quality time with your children. And 84 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:42,920 Speaker 1: then you told her that your home always got to 85 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: be over to the kids. See, I'm with this guy 86 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: right here. I'm tired of arguing about it. So I've 87 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 1: decided it's time for me to go see Charley. I 88 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 1: think they've discussed this many times, and the discussions to 89 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 1: turn into arguments why I don't want him over here? 90 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:01,160 Speaker 1: The man want to see his kids, she don't want 91 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 1: him over here. Now, what type of woman? Listen to 92 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,480 Speaker 1: what I'm about to say to your carefully, what type 93 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:12,520 Speaker 1: of woman stops a man from being with his kids? 94 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,600 Speaker 1: You want me tell you what type? Evil? A lot 95 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:21,039 Speaker 1: of him? There are a lot. Surely you would be 96 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:26,719 Speaker 1: stunned how many women out there are making it hard 97 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:31,239 Speaker 1: for a man to have relationship with his children because 98 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 1: she feels as she don't want to be the attachment 99 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,280 Speaker 1: to the ex wife or the woman. She don't want 100 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:40,719 Speaker 1: them kids in here interfering what they got going. Maybe 101 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 1: she don't want them around their kids. It is a 102 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:47,080 Speaker 1: lot of women who do this, and it is sad, 103 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 1: because man, when a man wants to take care of 104 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:54,159 Speaker 1: his children, there's nothing worse than you being his wife 105 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 1: stopping him from doing that. Not even your mammy that 106 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 1: came over are talking about some damn mom in law 107 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 1: is exactly who I'm talking about, laying up in here 108 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:15,760 Speaker 1: eating crackling and corn bread and some damn buttermilk. Talking 109 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:19,040 Speaker 1: about this this two, there's no room for these kids. 110 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 1: They too old to come over here. They don't need 111 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 1: to come over, and often they used to. They're getting older. 112 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 1: Your ask to one that's old. But what I'm just saying, 113 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 1: how old you know? You never get too old to 114 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 1: go see your parents? What is that? However old they are, 115 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 1: what difference do you meant? Now? They can't come over 116 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:39,919 Speaker 1: the more. Put the mom in law over there now? 117 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,839 Speaker 1: The man said he didn't talked about her. He tired 118 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:46,040 Speaker 1: arguing about it. He figures time for him to go. 119 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 1: It's a divorce now, he said. Something that you touched 120 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,920 Speaker 1: on it will get into I would never put her 121 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 1: in front of my kids. All right, Steve, let's get 122 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,800 Speaker 1: a problem. Let's take a break here. What this dude? 123 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:04,240 Speaker 1: Uh wife don't want the kids over there? No mo 124 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: And then mom and lawden moved in. Okay, here we go. 125 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 1: Now this man can't have a relationship with his kids 126 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: because of his mother in law. Irma over there. Her 127 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 1: name is Irma, that's what the name I picked. Hmm. 128 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:27,680 Speaker 1: I told my wife that her mama not gonna be 129 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 1: living with us permanently, but my children would ever be 130 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 1: in our lives forever. My wife and mother law depriving 131 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:38,640 Speaker 1: me a quality time with my children, And I told 132 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 1: our home will always be over to my children, whether 133 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: she likes it or not. And I'm tired of arguing 134 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:46,240 Speaker 1: about it, so I didn't decide it it's time for 135 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:51,080 Speaker 1: me to go because my sole responsibility in life is 136 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 1: to my children. No matter how much I love my wife, 137 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: we really got more responsibilities than our children. To say, 138 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 1: part is your mother in law and wife don't want 139 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 1: you to have relationship with your kids, and that's so sad. 140 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:10,840 Speaker 1: That is so sad, and I would never put her 141 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:15,800 Speaker 1: before my children. Well, because she's making you choose, and 142 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 1: I've told her I want a divorce because I will 143 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 1: not live without my children. And now your wife don't 144 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:25,080 Speaker 1: seem to care how this affects me. Well, she loved 145 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,200 Speaker 1: her mama. Let her live with her mama, her mamma. There, 146 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 1: live with your mama. You got who you want. So 147 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 1: I need to know. Am I wrong for decigning to 148 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 1: lead this woman? I buy you need no counseling. You're 149 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 1: married to her eva half far and her mama evil, 150 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:50,800 Speaker 1: and she got it from my mama, cause her mama 151 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,640 Speaker 1: ain't even girl. You need to let this man have 152 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 1: the life of these kids. Now, she hadn't feel to 153 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:59,080 Speaker 1: the fire. Leave both for the man. Go on where 154 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,880 Speaker 1: you're going because you ain't gonna be happy man feeling 155 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,920 Speaker 1: like you didn't. You don't. You don't left your kids, 156 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:09,480 Speaker 1: so dog on, shame man. But I promise you you'll 157 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,319 Speaker 1: be able to find a woman to be accepting that 158 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:15,120 Speaker 1: you ain't them kids. But he's gonna be a little hesitant, 159 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,200 Speaker 1: don't you think now, Steve, because she was with it 160 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:22,079 Speaker 1: at first and then she changed. Man. Please, I've been 161 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 1: here already. I would have been in everything. I walk 162 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:29,839 Speaker 1: out of there so fast, bye, go walking in and 163 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 1: kiss her and Grama come on over here, Emma, don't 164 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,880 Speaker 1: school away from me. You know you want to buy 165 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 1: a kiss? Yeah, that's what I not gonna leave. Yeah, 166 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,079 Speaker 1: I'll be out. Don't make no sense. I ain't doing 167 00:09:52,120 --> 00:10:00,599 Speaker 1: this with you ship. She's wrong, that's just yeah. We 168 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:03,720 Speaker 1: are you doing this? Man? Listen to the two dudes 169 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 1: that didn't have some divorces. We're not doing this here. Experience. Yeah, 170 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:17,280 Speaker 1: can't you beat there? Knowledge an experience? Wow? You know 171 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 1: I feel I I do feel badly for the kids. 172 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,080 Speaker 1: I do because they don't even want to come over, 173 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:26,360 Speaker 1: and they make excuses, they make excuses, and this woman, 174 00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 1: this is crazy. Well let's just man, have relationship with 175 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:35,599 Speaker 1: us children. That's crazy. First, she seemed to accept the 176 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:39,560 Speaker 1: children and played a decent role in step mom, but 177 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:43,480 Speaker 1: that didn't last long. It says, right, so down, that's it. 178 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:52,439 Speaker 1: M time for reenact me. Okay, man, Jay, the girl, 179 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 1: you the wife, don't want the kids over. Let's go. 180 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:59,200 Speaker 1: I'm always hey, baby, hey, baby, kids coming over this weekend? 181 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 1: And the name first Earl Stanley arline, Yeah, Earlene, the 182 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,840 Speaker 1: kids coming over there? We can know who. No, they're 183 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,760 Speaker 1: not coming over here. We already ran over us Stanley 184 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:18,120 Speaker 1: several times. This is our house, not your kids in 185 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:21,839 Speaker 1: our house. There's not coming over here. Listen to the baby. Baby. 186 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:24,440 Speaker 1: We can talk about this bunch time told you I 187 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,559 Speaker 1: don't I won't have a relationship with my kids. I 188 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 1: don't want to hear that. And you're gonna even have 189 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,080 Speaker 1: the truth between me or your kids, and I ain't 190 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:34,400 Speaker 1: you know, and hey, hey, it ain't no problem now. 191 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:37,080 Speaker 1: You know took this. You took this re enactment right 192 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:40,079 Speaker 1: up to the end. So now we have to divorce 193 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 1: already if you want me or you want them damn kids, 194 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:47,200 Speaker 1: Well I want the kids. I want to kids. All 195 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:50,800 Speaker 1: y'all just going back going, ain't no problem, ain't no problem. 196 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:53,800 Speaker 1: This relationship is not gonna work with you me and 197 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,400 Speaker 1: your kids. No, no, no, no, no. It's me, you, 198 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:59,040 Speaker 1: the kids, and your mammy. That's why they ain't work. 199 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 1: Oh yea yea, my mama. Yeah, that's how you're something 200 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:12,040 Speaker 1: my mama. Yeah, that's all. That's how I have never 201 00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:16,480 Speaker 1: That's why we can't even keep the refrigerator cool. She's 202 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 1: standing in it all day because you're gonna sit there 203 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:23,200 Speaker 1: and disrespect me and my mama. Your mama don't like 204 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 1: my kids, have been in here to the kids. My mama, 205 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 1: don't like you. My mama don't like nothing about you. 206 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:33,040 Speaker 1: But you're not gonna disrespect my mama. Mama, No problem, 207 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 1: no problem. That's why. That's why we're getting a divorce 208 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:45,599 Speaker 1: right there, shocking hurt. I don't do you see a 209 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,840 Speaker 1: tear in my No, and I don't want to be 210 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,680 Speaker 1: no tear in your look. I look like I'm upset 211 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 1: to you, and your look ragging amount kids is leaving. Whoa, whoa, 212 00:12:56,640 --> 00:13:03,680 Speaker 1: My kids got ragged. Have you seen your mama? Have 213 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:07,600 Speaker 1: you seen your mama? Mam all your kids mouth look 214 00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:15,280 Speaker 1: like a phone bill, just all full of holes. Wow? Wow, 215 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 1: well well well well how about this though, at least 216 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:28,600 Speaker 1: my kids got teeth. It's really your mama ain't got 217 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:32,439 Speaker 1: a tooth in her head, and the one she do have, 218 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 1: you need to get it took out because it looks 219 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:42,760 Speaker 1: crazy sitting been there all alone. Won't have to see 220 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 1: that one day. All right, it's time, guys email us 221 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:51,040 Speaker 1: her Instagram. I thought that today. A strawberry letter at 222 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:55,760 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FL you're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show