Speaker 1: If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week
Speaker 1: was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the
Speaker 1: old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads
Speaker 1: in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill
Speaker 1: poppers in the penthouse, the clearing house of hot takes
Speaker 1: break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Speaker 1: Mallar starts right now that it does, cranking up the
Speaker 1: flamethrower of audio content. We are in the air everywhere,
Speaker 1: the vast power of my heart, the global reach of podcasting,
Speaker 1: as we are hanging out with you here eight days
Speaker 1: a week. This would be the eighth day of the week.
Speaker 1: It's Sunday, Sunday Sunday if you're listening to us, when
Speaker 1: we actually dropped the podcast and we have a radio
Speaker 1: show tonight. I have a radio show tonight that will
Speaker 1: be back in the magic radio box. But four hours
Speaker 1: clearing on and off and yet again. Right over there,
Speaker 1: David Gascon is hanging out with this year. Yes, no
Speaker 1: applause this weekend. I noticed no, you know, I get
Speaker 1: something every so often and other times not so much.
Speaker 1: People are dabbling in their in their alcohol, so it's
Speaker 1: it's all good. I finally got a haircut and feeling
Speaker 1: good about myself, shaved a little bit. The beard is
Speaker 1: no moss. Hey, I got a haircut too, But that
Speaker 1: I did, I didn't. I don't think I talked about
Speaker 1: I went to I went to here, I got a haircut,
Speaker 1: and uh, you know, I mean I was a little
Speaker 1: disappointed because well, you know what, I thought, maybe i'd
Speaker 1: look a little better without, you know, the mop that
Speaker 1: I got on the sides, but it, you know, it's
Speaker 1: so I still need to wear in my baseball caps.
Speaker 1: I got the hogan going on. I got the hogan.
Speaker 1: Do you do you feel better that you get a haircut?
Speaker 1: Though I do. I it was I felt like I
Speaker 1: was turning into weed man hippie, you know, like it
Speaker 1: was just like it was nasty. I was like a
Speaker 1: totally disheveled the mess become a mountain man, you know,
Speaker 1: some kind of undomesticated mountain man or something like that.
Speaker 1: I was like, come on, that's right. It looked like
Speaker 1: for quite a while, we all we all look like
Speaker 1: the under falls and caveman. We normally normally act like
Speaker 1: caveman in the NFL, but we look like it's like
Speaker 1: she's some kind of pruitive, borish brute walking around. So anyway,
Speaker 1: before we get into the medio podcast, this is a
Speaker 1: shameless promotion. If you haven't already followed us, please do
Speaker 1: on social media because I realized guessing most people don't
Speaker 1: listen to the entire podcast. We usually promote this at
Speaker 1: the end, but instead we'll promote at the beginning. On
Speaker 1: Twitter at ben Mouth if you're not already following me
Speaker 1: on there. If you want to follow me you don't
Speaker 1: have an account, start Twitter. Just don't be on there
Speaker 1: too much because there's some bad people on their Instagram.
Speaker 1: Ben Maller on Fox and Facebook Ben mallards Show, Ben
Speaker 1: Mallard's Show. They're on the Facebook page and also Cammio.
Speaker 1: Don't forget cameo. If you want to personalize video, would
Speaker 1: love to do it. If there's a big event you've
Speaker 1: got going on in your lie for you just want
Speaker 1: to uh positive message, I'd love to do it. I
Speaker 1: love doing a little pep talks. If you need a
Speaker 1: pep talker. You know somebody's a fan of the show
Speaker 1: that needs a pep talk, I would love to do
Speaker 1: it for you. It's not free. It's not free, but
Speaker 1: it's not that much and it's a cameo. Dot com.
Speaker 1: Ben Mallory can search me out. We gotta get guests.
Speaker 1: Got on there to see if anyone will pay guests
Speaker 1: on to do a video shoutout should be I mean
Speaker 1: I could do a video shout out. I can do uh.
Speaker 1: I can do a dance for you if you want.
Speaker 1: I can do a strip tease if you want. I'm surprised, guest.
Speaker 1: Nobody's nobody's asked to do like a video with Bella
Speaker 1: because I would do a video with Bella. Not a dog.
Speaker 1: It's not a dog that it's not a dog. Bella
Speaker 1: is a dog. What are you talking about? Bella is awesome.
Speaker 1: Bella's a shaggy dog. She's getting a haircut too. You're
Speaker 1: such you are such a loser with that that awful
Speaker 1: you're monsters with you are You're an ogre. Bella is
Speaker 1: the sweetest thing. Bella is the greatest. I've had a
Speaker 1: lot a dog. I grew up in a dog family
Speaker 1: family dogs, a packet dogs, and she's like the coolest dog.
Speaker 1: He's doesn't bark that much, kind of follows you around
Speaker 1: and uh, perfect perfect dogs. She's a harmless little dog, Yes,
Speaker 1: I was. I don't need it. I don't need a
Speaker 1: dog that weighs three hundred poles and ships everywhere like
Speaker 1: a human being. I don't need that. It's fine. I
Speaker 1: like huskies. Yeah, I didn't know you in more ways
Speaker 1: than one. Yeah, I uh, speaking of that, I was.
Speaker 1: I was working with our good friend the other night
Speaker 1: in Jonas Knocks, and uh, yeah, you're not gonna promote
Speaker 1: your social media. I like that you're not promoting your
Speaker 1: social media. That's good. I will in a second. But
Speaker 1: but I had this really confrontational experience with him because
Speaker 1: I just I can't get over the fact it's like
Speaker 1: getting passed over on prom night by by the hottest
Speaker 1: girl in your school. Like, I don't know what, I
Speaker 1: don't know how he got back to back Benny's. I'm
Speaker 1: just I'm I'm perplexed by that. And uh, you know,
Speaker 1: I have a theory why he got back to like Benny's.
Speaker 1: And it's the fact that I don't take much time away,
Speaker 1: so there's not a lot of options, like and like
Speaker 1: the militia has chased away Arnie Spaniard canceled him, can't
Speaker 1: canceled him. The Varmint's got to Arnie, he doesn't want
Speaker 1: any part of us. The undomesticated animals and the Mallam
Speaker 1: militia chased him out of the out of the zoo.
Speaker 1: And uh so it's Jonas fills in the most. I guess,
Speaker 1: Brian no does some trying to think who else? There's
Speaker 1: not very many to choose from. Chris Plank. Chris Plank
Speaker 1: does some stuff as well. Chriss fills in for me
Speaker 1: from time to time, but it's not a It's not
Speaker 1: a large pool of people, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, alright,
Speaker 1: So we have on this podcast, Gascon, We've got, We've
Speaker 1: got don't stick to Sports? And then we have a
Speaker 1: long email bag, big segment of email questions that were
Speaker 1: sent in on our Facebook page, which is not really email,
Speaker 1: but it's our mail bag. I'm down for him, all right,
Speaker 1: very good. Uh So let's set into why don't we
Speaker 1: start with don't stick the sports stories of the week?
Speaker 1: What do we have this week? So weird not sticking
Speaker 1: to sports? And how about this? Um this actually might
Speaker 1: be uh stimulating for some of the folks in the Middlewest.
Speaker 1: A team of doctors and China Ben removed a fish
Speaker 1: from a man. Uh, they just remove it from him.
Speaker 1: They had to pull it out of his ass after
Speaker 1: he accidentally sat on it. Uh is that right? Well?
Speaker 1: How well, that's the the mechanics on that are It's
Speaker 1: impossible it should be right. Um. This man actually said
Speaker 1: that he was feeling discomfort in the stomach, proceeded to
Speaker 1: win go to a clinic nearby. Um doctors found out
Speaker 1: through an X ray and a CT scan that he
Speaker 1: actually has a fish in his bowels and the only
Speaker 1: way that it got there was through his ass. Now,
Speaker 1: I wish you would have to shove said fish into
Speaker 1: said ass, right, wouldn't you? That would be the way
Speaker 1: that would work. Yes, yeah, I mean I it's gone
Speaker 1: to the days of Giant Naxville and Jackass. But like
Speaker 1: this happens overseas and the People's Republic of Communist China,
Speaker 1: and that's what we got. You wake up one day
Speaker 1: you're like, I'd like to shove a fish in my ass.
Speaker 1: I think this will be a good thing today. Why
Speaker 1: don't I see what will happen? Hey? You know what
Speaker 1: you know the coronavirus and people are looking for new
Speaker 1: ways to stimulate themselves. Maybe he was going off the
Speaker 1: beaten path a little bit and decided to do that.
Speaker 1: I guess, So why don't you try that tonight? Guestcan
Speaker 1: let me know how that goes. Why don't you just
Speaker 1: go down that road? Yes, yeah, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I can do something like that. The fact that Fats
Speaker 1: was able to light himself on fire after drinking his
Speaker 1: own piss is still horrifying for me. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: doing it on video and then you haven't Doc Mike
Speaker 1: mail you a book on piss. It's just absolutely amazing. Um.
Speaker 1: Speaking of doctors, how about this used to a students
Speaker 1: box and are calling for firing of a professor after
Speaker 1: he refused to cancel final exams over the George Floyd death. Really? Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: what's up with that? One? Professor's name is Gordon Klein
Speaker 1: of Useles Anderson School of Management. Was docked by students
Speaker 1: after you declined to allow minority students to skip the
Speaker 1: final exams and grief over the death of George Floyd. Um.
Speaker 1: Back on May the twenty so, somebody said, well, you've
Speaker 1: got you know, the world's gonna happen, Like, if you
Speaker 1: have a job, you still have to work to do right.
Speaker 1: You can't go if you gotta show up to work. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's that's your is a student, that's your job. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the general idea. He said it. He said it
Speaker 1: an email. Thanks for your suggestion in your email, but
Speaker 1: below I give black students special treatment given the tragedy
Speaker 1: in Minnesota. Uh do you know that the names of
Speaker 1: the classmates that are black? How can I to five them?
Speaker 1: Since they've been calling for online classes only? Are there
Speaker 1: any students that may be of mixed heritage? Uh, such
Speaker 1: as half black Asian? What do you do or what
Speaker 1: do you suggest they do with them out of respect?
Speaker 1: A full concession or just half? So well that's the yeah,
Speaker 1: well that's the the the arguments. I will how far
Speaker 1: do we take this year? Like where where do we go?
Speaker 1: Like who's allowed to not do their job? I mean
Speaker 1: it's like the the idea. Some people are saying, well,
Speaker 1: the NBA shouldn't come back until the Uh this movement
Speaker 1: gets what they want. I mean, you know, are we
Speaker 1: supposed to society is supposed to shut down and no
Speaker 1: one work until something happened? Is that where we're at?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Because the officer has been fired, he
Speaker 1: has been arrested. And there's an ongoing investigation, So be
Speaker 1: sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show
Speaker 1: weekdays at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Anyway,
Speaker 1: how about this, Disney fans wants Splash Mountain UH to
Speaker 1: update their music, and the reason why is they claim racism?
Speaker 1: Is that right? I like Splash mount I like the
Speaker 1: vibe there. It's a very happy, upbeat vibe when you
Speaker 1: were ade Splash Mountain and it's pretty mellow until the
Speaker 1: very end and then you get so Yeah, they have
Speaker 1: the song it's the Song of the South, which is
Speaker 1: based off of ninety six film Um and the tail
Speaker 1: end of it, you know, you hear it. Zippity dooda
Speaker 1: zippity a UM. Protesters right now a asking Disney to
Speaker 1: change the music on that, calling it racist. But shouldn't
Speaker 1: you buy that? Following that train of thought, shouldn't you not?
Speaker 1: Should you cancel Disneyland? Because if Walt Disney was a
Speaker 1: racist and he was behind that movie, and maybe he was,
Speaker 1: I don't know, how can you go to Disneyland because
Speaker 1: it was built on racism? Yeah? Isn't that the logic?
Speaker 1: Isn't that the train of thought there where they were racist?
Speaker 1: We gotta get rid of Disney. Anything with Disney's name
Speaker 1: on it should be blasphemy. We should get rid of it.
Speaker 1: Speaking of that, how about this? Uh, Leaders at Berkeley
Speaker 1: College of Music out in Boston have publicly apologized for
Speaker 1: allowing Boston p D to use restrooms at their campus
Speaker 1: concert hall during the protests last week. They've apologized for
Speaker 1: that because they're not getting enough woke credit, because they
Speaker 1: looked down upon by the upper balcony there. Yes, they
Speaker 1: said it was not a formal decision to allow the
Speaker 1: officers to use the restrooms. It was an informal one.
Speaker 1: It was made on the spots. So they in turn
Speaker 1: published a public apology. So coming correct for you taking
Speaker 1: care of the men in blue? So so, yeah, I guess,
Speaker 1: I guess if you're a bad actor, they would have
Speaker 1: let the people pillaging the cities, the unsavory characters, the miscreants,
Speaker 1: would have been allowed to take a whizz or whatever.
Speaker 1: They would have been. Okay, So that's that's where we're at.
Speaker 1: I got you. Yeah, Wow, that's great, are you price? No,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I mean, that's at Berkeley College is a
Speaker 1: pretty liberal institution, I believe, right, Yeah, most of them
Speaker 1: more in Boston. Were you a fan back in the
Speaker 1: day of Jurassic Park any of the movies? No, not
Speaker 1: the first one. But I didn't really get that. Wasn't
Speaker 1: like hardcore into it. Alright. I bring that out because
Speaker 1: there's a company called oxy Tech, and oxy Tech has
Speaker 1: received a special permit to experiment under the umbrella of
Speaker 1: the US Environmental Protection Agency to release genetically modified mosquitoes
Speaker 1: into the wild. What could possibly go wrong? What could
Speaker 1: possibly go wrong? Now, you're gonna love this because can
Speaker 1: you guess of the forty eight states here in North
Speaker 1: America that are located on our land, not Alaska, not Hawaii,
Speaker 1: can you guess one of the two states that these
Speaker 1: mosquitoes are getting released into? Well, the obvious one, that's
Speaker 1: anything anything like that. You just go Florida. You just
Speaker 1: go Florida, and that's a that's it. Yeah, Florida and
Speaker 1: Texas are going to get the release of the mosquitoes initially,
Speaker 1: um then obviously they'll be able to travel throughout the
Speaker 1: entire country. Well, that's pretty funny. Speaking of that, I
Speaker 1: just I sent you this story of a while ago
Speaker 1: did you see the night parrot story? This comes from Australia.
Speaker 1: Know what. The researchers found that the night parrot actually
Speaker 1: has poor vision and keeps flying into things in the dark.
Speaker 1: How great is it that the night parents they have
Speaker 1: similar eye size to other parrots, with smaller optic nerves
Speaker 1: and lobes that provide less resolution. And so the turns
Speaker 1: out the night parrot actually he's flying around crashing into
Speaker 1: walls and crap. So that's pretty good. That's pretty oh boy,
Speaker 1: that is so that is us not sticking to sports.
Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live edition of The Ben Maller
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two am Eastern Pacific. Alright, not sticking
Speaker 1: in sports, but we do have a bunch of questions
Speaker 1: the mail bag, the inboxes open. These are actual questions
Speaker 1: by actual listeners like yourself and the the Mallard Militia.
Speaker 1: I looked at the numbers. We have some breakdowns on
Speaker 1: Facebook of where people are and what countries they're in
Speaker 1: and where they're listening. It's it's it's mostly the United States, Canada,
Speaker 1: and New Zealand. Those are the big three, but we
Speaker 1: got a few in Australia, Japan, Ghana. For some reason.
Speaker 1: Can you explain that to me? Guess there's a lot
Speaker 1: of Mallard militia people in Ghana. Well, I have a
Speaker 1: couple of friends that now listen to the shows in Israel,
Speaker 1: in Berlin, uh, in London and in Dublin. So spreading out.
Speaker 1: The nice thing is with the metrics that we use
Speaker 1: for the podcast is yeah, we can see the demographics.
Speaker 1: We can see where they're at geographically. It's pretty nice.
Speaker 1: So I cannot explain Ghana. I cannot explain that. Uh, Cutter,
Speaker 1: I don't know if people are listening and Cutter, but
Speaker 1: do we get the map all across the world, so
Speaker 1: you're bringing them in at any given time, Penny, they're
Speaker 1: all over the place, and might I say mostly dudes?
Speaker 1: The if you believe the numbers that I've got here,
Speaker 1: they send me the data or data every week and
Speaker 1: the Mallam militia breakdown. What do you think the percentages
Speaker 1: between men and women? What do you think the I
Speaker 1: think ninety three to seven? Are you looking at the
Speaker 1: same numbers? That's exactly ninety over ninety three and six
Speaker 1: percent women? Damn, that's pretty good. That's close. Yeah three.
Speaker 1: Now I'm not looking at your numbers, but if you
Speaker 1: were to look at my d M S would be
Speaker 1: the other way around. If let may say so, Yeah,
Speaker 1: well I don't know that's actually true or not. I mean,
Speaker 1: there's no way to vary. It's like the owner is
Speaker 1: saying that they're losing money. There's no way to verifying
Speaker 1: unless you give me your password. I can read your
Speaker 1: private conversations, prefer not to. That's that's fine. That's how
Speaker 1: many of you got going on? Yeah? I got enough? Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: we got we got fifty states, and we got plenty
Speaker 1: of people across the country that like to like to listen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, Well let's get to the questions here, actual
Speaker 1: questions sending by actual listeners. Um, you want to start
Speaker 1: with the FATS question. Fats, my job in Philly, we
Speaker 1: love Fats is out of control. Uh, this is bed
Speaker 1: and gascon. If you could give yourself a Fallacio, would
Speaker 1: you ever leave your house? Go ahead, guest you go first. Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course I'd have to buy paper towels and buy
Speaker 1: the paper and by So, something tells me FATS has
Speaker 1: attempted this. I have me guessing it's somewhere along the way.
Speaker 1: Fats is probably like one of those backstretching machines right
Speaker 1: loveside down. You're inverted. And now you're trying to the
Speaker 1: funny thing with Fats, Like he drank his urine because
Speaker 1: Doc told him to drink the urine. The other night,
Speaker 1: I had read through chapter I have of this urine
Speaker 1: propaganda book that Doc had sent me, and and I
Speaker 1: brought it up on the air. But not only did
Speaker 1: the urine cult think that you should drink your urine,
Speaker 1: they were also talking about using it in like for
Speaker 1: air freshener. Uh what else was it? It was they
Speaker 1: said air freshener, earwashing, eye washing, that you were like
Speaker 1: supposed to wash your eyes out with you here in
Speaker 1: Nettie Pott. If you get a cold, you put the
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can't believe you've read that much.
Speaker 1: How how thick is the book? But it's not that
Speaker 1: it's not it's not that big. It's but it's fourteen
Speaker 1: chapters and uh, yeah, I mean it's but yeah, it's wild.
Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Speaker 1: Show week days at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific, Ottawa.
Speaker 1: Mark Rides by the way, Fats, I mean, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: good in that, you know, I don't. I don't need that.
Speaker 1: You let me know if you figure that out, fat,
Speaker 1: let me know how your life changes an amazing ways.
Speaker 1: Ottawa Mark right Soon says, have you have you do
Speaker 1: one of the following for a million dollars? You have
Speaker 1: to drink one cup of your own doc Mike juice.
Speaker 1: You have to set all your body here on fire
Speaker 1: like Fats, or you have to spend a night sharing
Speaker 1: a bed with Flexis. This is Ottawa Mark. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm drinking my own piss, and if I have to
Speaker 1: double fisted, I of those of those options. The body
Speaker 1: hair thing, you say, Well, Fats obviously doesn't hurt FATS.
Speaker 1: But what could go wrong? I mean a lot of
Speaker 1: stuff could go wrong. So you know, you know I
Speaker 1: don't do that. I know there's a technique that allows
Speaker 1: you to do that safely, but there's always something that
Speaker 1: could go wrong. Yeah, I would take a shot glass
Speaker 1: of piss. I would do that. Sure? Why not? Uh
Speaker 1: alls fan Jimmy right In from Fayetteville, Tennessee, says, Ben,
Speaker 1: if you had to take one of your crew members
Speaker 1: in the foxhole, would it be including gascon? Well, you'd
Speaker 1: have to be well, I know what, I definitely would
Speaker 1: not put in my fox all because it's not on
Speaker 1: my team. But I don't know. I take you or Eddie?
Speaker 1: I guess what are you? Two guys would go with me? Sure?
Speaker 1: Why not? Kennon Toledo? Right, Since it's since someone called
Speaker 1: out you Ben for the way you say the word
Speaker 1: company like company, I need to call out Gascon for
Speaker 1: the way he says the word actually instead of actually,
Speaker 1: bad job bout you guys? Actually, yeah, you said you
Speaker 1: just did it again. You just did it again? Actually
Speaker 1: what I say? Actually? How am I am? I not
Speaker 1: saying it right? Kennon Toledo points out it sounds a
Speaker 1: little awkward. I apologize, all right. Here's the question, Uh,
Speaker 1: your go to hangover cure? And Ken says for him
Speaker 1: it's McDonald's sausage McMuffin with egg, Fountain coke and ibuprofen. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I've never really unhammered in in a while. I usually
Speaker 1: just try to sleep it off. That's usually my move
Speaker 1: there and not wake up until I'm feeling better. What
Speaker 1: about you? Guess what's your your go to? That? In
Speaker 1: San Pedro, Fantastic Cafe makes these delicious breakfast Brittos, bacon sausage,
Speaker 1: hash brown eggs. You don't need to give a promote
Speaker 1: via an advertiser, guess. I mean, this is like a
Speaker 1: low budget restaurant, but it's good man, and have a
Speaker 1: dr Pepper with it. And I'm usually okay, but you're
Speaker 1: you're okay, yeah, okay, got you all right? That's it,
Speaker 1: very good. I thank you Ken for the the question.
Speaker 1: Who's next? Dan in Durham in the Carolinas there says,
Speaker 1: with all the unrest, all the writing, all the looting,
Speaker 1: have you upgraded or considered upgrading your home security? Arsenal
Speaker 1: Dan points out, Uh, Dan, Yeah, I have considered. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm I've never been against the Second Amendment. I've never
Speaker 1: been against the right to bear arms and all that
Speaker 1: I have not. But I've never had a gun. And
Speaker 1: I actually have considered recently getting a gun. Uh. And
Speaker 1: depending on how people vote, and depending on how many
Speaker 1: police get defunded, I will buy a gun. Um. That
Speaker 1: will that will happen. Um. If you you get rid
Speaker 1: of the police, that's your move. My move would be
Speaker 1: to go out and buy a gun and a bunch
Speaker 1: of bullets. What about you, guess, gun Yeah, I actually
Speaker 1: did it earlier this week, and some of the stores
Speaker 1: that I went into were completely dry of ammunition and
Speaker 1: weapons altogether. So one story I went to, it took
Speaker 1: me two weeks to schedule appointment, and it took me
Speaker 1: ninety minutes just to get in the door on that
Speaker 1: said time. So what's the process like in California, the
Speaker 1: People's Republic of California. There's a waiting period You've got
Speaker 1: to fill out of paperwork. It's a hole to do right. Well,
Speaker 1: first off, you need to take a fire arms safety
Speaker 1: Certificate exam and yet to pass that yet it's thirty questions,
Speaker 1: multiple choice and you have to get above and then
Speaker 1: after you pass that, then you pick out a weapon.
Speaker 1: If it's available, then you could buy it. But then
Speaker 1: you you have a clock that starts where it's a
Speaker 1: ten day Department of Justice background check that's done on you,
Speaker 1: and then you need to pick out your ammunition. So
Speaker 1: here in California, you can't have a magazine that carries
Speaker 1: more than ten bullets at any single time. Like you
Speaker 1: could have modifications obviously, and if you get to a
Speaker 1: different state, you're fine, but ten bullets is the maximum.
Speaker 1: And then anything I know that's fine, but you also
Speaker 1: need to have a gun that is licensed here in California.
Speaker 1: So if you go to a store, you've gotta buy
Speaker 1: what's available, and you can't have something transferred in that's
Speaker 1: not approved by the state of California. And then on
Speaker 1: top of that, you're paying whatever it is for your ammunition,
Speaker 1: and that's not even guaranteed to be available to So
Speaker 1: how much ammunition cost usually costs anywhere from like thirty
Speaker 1: five to fifty dollars, depend ending on what kind of
Speaker 1: bullets you're buying and the amount of bullets that you're
Speaker 1: buying at one time, the magazines, or anywhere from thirty
Speaker 1: five dollars too for clips. So yeah, it's pricey. And
Speaker 1: uh yeah, anyone that says that it's easier to buy
Speaker 1: a gun than it is to you to do anything
Speaker 1: else is full of ship. Well here it is, but
Speaker 1: anywhere because gun manufacturers aren't even working right now, I
Speaker 1: don't forget because the coronavirus. So it's not like people
Speaker 1: are at work right now producing weapons and producing guns
Speaker 1: whatever it may be, shotguns, pistols, rifles, it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: what it is. But they're not producing them. So even
Speaker 1: if you order a gun right now, it's not available,
Speaker 1: there's no guarantee that you're getting it next week or
Speaker 1: the week after that either. Yeah, there's a lag time
Speaker 1: on that. So you're saying, if I decide officially to
Speaker 1: get a gun once they defund all the police, then
Speaker 1: I need I should probably be proactive on that. That's
Speaker 1: what you're saying. Yeah, well, that's the thing. If if
Speaker 1: if you go get a gun now, if it's available,
Speaker 1: you can buy it, but if it's not available, you
Speaker 1: could put a deposit down for the gun, and then
Speaker 1: when the gun comes in, then they bring you back
Speaker 1: in to start your your background check, So then you
Speaker 1: have to wait an additional ten days to get cleared
Speaker 1: by the d o J. All right, well we will
Speaker 1: we will see, uh what happens with that going forward.
Speaker 1: Big Lou from the LBC, he says, six four two
Speaker 1: sixty checks in. He's asked, Ben asked. Gagon says, for Ben,
Speaker 1: I've been listening to your Mallard monologues for almost ten years.
Speaker 1: He says, I rarely hear you say a quarterback is
Speaker 1: actually good. There are thirty two teams in the NFL.
Speaker 1: How many teams have a good starting quarterback. All right, well,
Speaker 1: big a Lou, thank you very much for your loyalty
Speaker 1: and your dedication. That is true. I do not do
Speaker 1: very many positive Mallard monologues about quarterbacks because that doesn't
Speaker 1: make for good talk radio. I went to the school.
Speaker 1: We had Jerry Callahan on Big Boston Radio Guy a
Speaker 1: couple of days ago, and I'm of that same mindset
Speaker 1: or Rob Parker, where if it's positive, you don't need
Speaker 1: to spend too much time talking about it because people
Speaker 1: don't like to hear about that, like to hear about
Speaker 1: the negative. But the quarterbacks who are good in the NFL,
Speaker 1: um Drew Brees. I know it's taboo to say his name.
Speaker 1: He got canceled, uh, and he's I think he's apologizing again.
Speaker 1: He's probably massaging my feet right now. But Drew Brees,
Speaker 1: Patrick Mahomes, Uh, Tom Brady, although I'm waning on Brady
Speaker 1: at this point because he's been pretty mediocre the last
Speaker 1: two years of the Patriots, but he's the all time legends.
Speaker 1: So you give him like a Lifetime Achievement award, and
Speaker 1: then Russell Wilson and then that's it. I don't have
Speaker 1: anybody else, everyone else to me is flawed in one
Speaker 1: way or another. So I got Mahomes, Breezes, Brady and
Speaker 1: Wilson and then that's it, and it's open season on
Speaker 1: every other quarterback in the NFL. Everyone either sucks or
Speaker 1: blows in one way or another around the NFL. Uh
Speaker 1: Jonathan in Delaware writes and he says, if you had
Speaker 1: the opportunity to retroactively remove one player's injury prone career
Speaker 1: and by doing so have them have a productive career,
Speaker 1: who would it be and why? All right, Well, there's
Speaker 1: there's a couple of players that come to mind here, Jonathan.
Speaker 1: That's a that's a question. I like this question. So
Speaker 1: basketball would be Chris Paul because the Clippers would have
Speaker 1: won multiple championships if Chris Paul hadn't been snap crackle
Speaker 1: pop and been the self imploding man in big moments
Speaker 1: in the playoffs with injuries and what now. So I
Speaker 1: would go Chris Paul and basketball, and then baseball only
Speaker 1: because I was somewhat friendly with him when he was
Speaker 1: playing for the Dodgers. There was a picture by the
Speaker 1: name of Darren dryford Man who had the nastiest stuff
Speaker 1: and was just awesome, but he couldn't stay healthy, and
Speaker 1: that killed him, and that ruined his career. He would
Speaker 1: have been a dominant picture of a starting pitcher. They
Speaker 1: really believed that he was gonna be like a Roger
Speaker 1: Clemens type, just amazing starting pitcher, and it never never
Speaker 1: happened because he always had some kind of ailment and injury.
Speaker 1: I would have been curious. I mean, obviously we weren't
Speaker 1: around at that time, but I'd be curious if Sandy
Speaker 1: Kofax was healthy throughout his entire career. Oh yeah, co
Speaker 1: Fax is before my time, of course, but that's a
Speaker 1: good anybody you got guest on your a broncho apologist,
Speaker 1: I mean, I could easily say Terrell Davis, but I mean,
Speaker 1: all jokes aside. I would love to see what Andrew
Speaker 1: Luck would have been had he not been hammerd with
Speaker 1: injuries and then just decided to walk away from the game.
Speaker 1: That's the one that comes to my mind, all right.
Speaker 1: Jesse from Pomona says, with Whoopie Pie Blair saying he's
Speaker 1: going to put the moves on your wife, my question
Speaker 1: is who are you more concerned about, Blair or gascon Uh. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would actually be entertained by Blair because I Blair
Speaker 1: talks a good game on the phone. I've made him
Speaker 1: know he's kind of he was kind of shy, a
Speaker 1: little bashful. Where is he from? Um, he's from California.
Speaker 1: He started calling me in Orange County and then he
Speaker 1: moved His mom moved to Maine, and so Blair had
Speaker 1: to move to Maine with his mom, and so he's
Speaker 1: It was really funny because he used to call the
Speaker 1: show and he was just like another guy that would
Speaker 1: call the show randomly, and he knew I went to
Speaker 1: Saddleback College age and he lived and did some stuff
Speaker 1: around there, and so he would want to ask about
Speaker 1: Saddleback College. And then he moved to Portland, Maine. He
Speaker 1: started calling the shows in Boston and then he became
Speaker 1: like a known caller. It was like he was just
Speaker 1: like a random guy that you got this like celebrity
Speaker 1: thing because of the power of sports radio in Boston.
Speaker 1: All right, uhlet's see, Um, I guess to answer your question,
Speaker 1: I would say yes, Scott, only because he actually knows
Speaker 1: my wife. And uh yeah, I just get a kick
Speaker 1: out of Blair. Mr Luciano right in from Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: Very formal. Mr Luciano, uh says who is your favorite philosopher?
Speaker 1: The same goes to David uh Well. The one I
Speaker 1: referenced I quote a lot in the monologues as Aristotle,
Speaker 1: So I guess I would go Aristotle and the many
Speaker 1: quotes that he's had that knowing yourself is just the
Speaker 1: beginning of all wisdom. And what's I used the one
Speaker 1: a few weeks of patients is bitter, but it's fruit
Speaker 1: is sweets is another one, and uh, and there was
Speaker 1: no great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness,
Speaker 1: which is important. That's pretty good too. What about you, guys,
Speaker 1: what's your favorite philosopher? I would say Aristotle. Is it
Speaker 1: okay to use an economist? Yeah, I mean I think
Speaker 1: Thomas Soul is really good, and I think more so
Speaker 1: now because you get people that tweet out stuff from
Speaker 1: his his books and his writings. Um, but you look
Speaker 1: at guys, I mean, you use that stuff in your monologues,
Speaker 1: which is great because it's just a certain quotes to
Speaker 1: jump out too, and you're like, wait a minute, it's
Speaker 1: so simplistic quotes that that Matt. I mean, well, I
Speaker 1: guess in times now, this guy has been dead since
Speaker 1: uh nineteen fifty, but people quote his work quite a
Speaker 1: bit these days. That would be George Orwell, yeah, right,
Speaker 1: georgioell he wrote he wrote the book in nine teen nine,
Speaker 1: he wrote a book called ninety four projecting about what
Speaker 1: the world might look like now. He was off by
Speaker 1: about forty years because a lot of that stuff he
Speaker 1: talked about in the book, the Orwellian thought police and
Speaker 1: all that, um, it happened not in four closer too,
Speaker 1: So I guess maybe fifty years or whatever. But yeah,
Speaker 1: that's another one. Fox Sports Radio has the best sports
Speaker 1: talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of our shows
Speaker 1: at Fox Sports Radio dot com and within the I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio app search f s R to listen live.
Speaker 1: So all right, thank you Mr Lewis Luciano. Classing up
Speaker 1: the show Lenny the crypt keeper from Florida. Right, so
Speaker 1: he says, who do you pick? Carl Malone or Elvin Hayes,
Speaker 1: Jabbar or Shack Bird or magic? Alright, So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take car Malone over Elvin Hayes. I lost a radio
Speaker 1: job the Carl Malone and uh he was awesome for
Speaker 1: the Utah Jazz a player to watch. I enjoyed that.
Speaker 1: The Jabar Shack thing. I want to pick Shock because
Speaker 1: of his physical dominance, But the most unstoppable shot in
Speaker 1: the history of sport, in any sport, is the sky hook.
Speaker 1: So I gotta go with Kareem on that. The fact
Speaker 1: that no one's been able to mimic that is wild
Speaker 1: you have. If you could just do that, you would
Speaker 1: be a dominant force in the n b A and
Speaker 1: Kareem pulled it off all those years, So I would
Speaker 1: go with the sky hook of Kareem. And then the
Speaker 1: Bird Magic one. I mean, that is a the ultimate
Speaker 1: toss up. I give an edge to to Magic though
Speaker 1: because it's it's close. I felt like Magic lasted a
Speaker 1: wee bit longer than bird Bird's back started giving out,
Speaker 1: So I'll give the edge to Magic. You want to
Speaker 1: end on that guest gunt, Yeah, I mean I like Malone.
Speaker 1: I think I'd go a Shack just because of when
Speaker 1: he was in Los Angeles, he was so dominant. And
Speaker 1: then Kareem is the all time leading score in NBA history,
Speaker 1: though I understand that, I mean people could say that.
Speaker 1: Part of the thing was when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: I went to the first game I went to was
Speaker 1: like a Lakers Golden State game. It was I was
Speaker 1: in youth basketball play on the court at the Forum
Speaker 1: after the game, right and as through the eyes of
Speaker 1: a child, they took us down to stand so we
Speaker 1: could run out right after the game and playing on
Speaker 1: the court. So we were sitting like a last row
Speaker 1: the forum. So we walked down and I'm walking and
Speaker 1: I walked by the basket as Kareem is doing the
Speaker 1: sky hook and I'm a little fat, round kid, and
Speaker 1: I look up and it looked like Kareem's hand was
Speaker 1: touching the fucking ceiling at the Forum. It was it
Speaker 1: was beautiful. I mean, I I don't know what I
Speaker 1: was saying. And through the eyes of a child, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, and no one ever could stop him. And
Speaker 1: I watched Shock and Shack was great, but Shock had
Speaker 1: Shock had no moves on offense. His move was just
Speaker 1: to run you over, which was very effective. But like
Speaker 1: Stanley Roberts who he played with at l s U.
Speaker 1: And I knew Stanley when he played with the Clippers
Speaker 1: of the but Stanley had many more offensive moves than
Speaker 1: Shaquille O'Neil did so. And also I think in today's game,
Speaker 1: i'd take burn. But back in the day, I Magic
Speaker 1: Johnson was my favorite player. So yeah, Bird would be
Speaker 1: really really good in the way the NBA that just
Speaker 1: to jump popping shot, Poppa shot NBA of today, Ethan
Speaker 1: and Acron writes and says, what franchise has the saddest history? Alright,
Speaker 1: So there's different definitions of sad, Like you said, just rotten, losing, pathetic.
Speaker 1: He'd go like the Detroit Lions, the Cleveland Browns at
Speaker 1: one point where a respected franchise, he beloved franchise. I
Speaker 1: can't go with the Cleveland Browns. They've been a laughing
Speaker 1: stock lately. You could also say the Bengals. But the
Speaker 1: Bengals occasionally had some good teams that got to the
Speaker 1: Super Bowl with Boomers siasin that the Ken Anderson days,
Speaker 1: they had some some decent teams. So I guess you
Speaker 1: San Diego and l a Chargers man, like they have
Speaker 1: never won. They got to one Super Bowl, got blown
Speaker 1: out in two cities, but they were like average, like
Speaker 1: Chargers are like your typical, like Indiana Pacers. Like the
Speaker 1: Indiana Pacers are average. They're never that bad, they're never
Speaker 1: that great. They're kind of in the middle. They've had
Speaker 1: Hall of Fame talent that has revolutionized the game and
Speaker 1: they still fell short. They had a four ten two
Speaker 1: team that lost at home after Marlon McCree made a
Speaker 1: pick of Tom Brady and then fumbled the football away
Speaker 1: like that. You know, the Chargers have had a sorry
Speaker 1: but I'm talking all times, just like the Linons suck
Speaker 1: every year and the only time people watch him is
Speaker 1: on Thanksgiving and this boring. They don't compete most of
Speaker 1: the time and they suck. And then, my god, if
Speaker 1: people would say the Clippers in basketball, but the Clippers
Speaker 1: over the last decade have been one of the top
Speaker 1: teams in the NBA consistently during the regular season. Minnesota
Speaker 1: is actually the Timberwolves. Pathetic, They're gonna be the worst.
Speaker 1: And in baseball, see, baseball is tough. Yeah, baseball. You
Speaker 1: could even say the Marlins are terrible. But they've won
Speaker 1: two World Series. Yeah, they've only made the Laofs twice.
Speaker 1: They've had more hunt ninety eight plus lost seasons, and
Speaker 1: they've had playoff appearances. Uh, the Mariners, but man, the
Speaker 1: Mariners were the most exciting team in baseball and the
Speaker 1: Griffy years, the Mariners are the most exciting team when
Speaker 1: they had and your Martinez and those guys. They never won,
Speaker 1: but they were fun to watch. Randy Johnson on the mound,
Speaker 1: they were the show. I remember when they come into
Speaker 1: Anaheim and they would get a big crowd, the fucking Mariners.
Speaker 1: People wanted to see Griffy. He was a rock star.
Speaker 1: Well he was like the is he the last rock star?
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think Jeter played longer, and obviously
Speaker 1: they crossed over, but I don't think people went out
Speaker 1: of their way to watch Jeter a a rod maybe
Speaker 1: a little bit, but like Griffy that he had this
Speaker 1: this charisma to him, that he was like the last
Speaker 1: of the baseball players where people actually cared about all
Speaker 1: the stars that he gives a funk about. Nobody goes
Speaker 1: out to watch Mike Trout, Who the funk cares? The
Speaker 1: guy's boring. Uh, he's not. He didn't want to be
Speaker 1: a star. And then so people don't treat him like one.
Speaker 1: Well what about the San Diego Padres. Then, oh, my
Speaker 1: sad sack. Padres. They do a couple of World series
Speaker 1: though they got sweat. Yeah, but the Marriners have never
Speaker 1: even been to the World Series. There's never been to
Speaker 1: the World Series. Padres had the great Tony Gwin Podres
Speaker 1: like they were. I think the more like the Chargers
Speaker 1: of the Pacers kind of average average, Like the Mirrors
Speaker 1: have been really terrible. They were terrible early on when
Speaker 1: they started, and they've been terrible again. Here all, we
Speaker 1: gotta be a time for a couple more so, let's
Speaker 1: try to get these last couple In Kentucky, Jay says,
Speaker 1: would you guys rather attend an arm wrestling match or
Speaker 1: a Knickerbocker Hawks game, because I'm taking the exciting arm wrestling,
Speaker 1: And he said, I'm talking about the exciting arm wrestling
Speaker 1: like the movie Over the Top of the Top Lincoln Hawk.
Speaker 1: Is his name Sylvester Sloan? Well, are we talking? Are
Speaker 1: we talking? Wouldn't be a playoff game because the Knicks
Speaker 1: never make the playoffs or the Hawks. But if it
Speaker 1: was like a playoff game, I would rather watch a
Speaker 1: Knicks Hawks playoff game if they both made the playoffs.
Speaker 1: But if if not, if it's like a boring regular
Speaker 1: season game on a Wednesday night where there's no juice
Speaker 1: in the building, then I take arm wrestling. I'm down
Speaker 1: for arm wrestling just for the simple fact that someone
Speaker 1: might snap their arm. You're sick you're you've gone to
Speaker 1: the dark side. You're on the highway to hell. Trucker
Speaker 1: Joel writes in from Pennsylvania. He says, if both of
Speaker 1: y'all could bring back anyone from the dead for twenty
Speaker 1: four hours, who would it be? What would you say?
Speaker 1: And where would you go with them? It's kind of
Speaker 1: a cop thing. I mean, the obvious one for me
Speaker 1: would be my mom to say, Hey, Mom, look how
Speaker 1: funked up the world is today. You're not around. Look
Speaker 1: at that ship that we're gonna do with um. But
Speaker 1: if you want to go like someone in sports, I mean,
Speaker 1: the cliches will be like bringing back Babe Ruth. He was.
Speaker 1: He was a five tool player and he was great
Speaker 1: with the ladies. Right party Again, here's some of those
Speaker 1: stories about when he was you know, women were chasing
Speaker 1: him naked through the train that Birch Sugar used to
Speaker 1: tell that story, the late great Birch Sugar. How about
Speaker 1: Wilt Chamberlain. I was on the air of the day
Speaker 1: Wilt Chamberlain died. Uh, we're doing radio in l a
Speaker 1: And imagine some of the stories Wilt has to tell
Speaker 1: about his days with the women. He was a big
Speaker 1: will Will was ahead of his time in more ways
Speaker 1: than one. But like can you imagine Wilt Chamberlain today,
Speaker 1: which the story telling and people wouldn't be able to handle.
Speaker 1: They'd be triggered by the stories about it. He would
Speaker 1: have been canceled by the culture before being a woman.
Speaker 1: What about Joelton Joe DiMaggio. You know, I saw the
Speaker 1: matt I as a kid. I went to a hotel
Speaker 1: in San Diego to get Joe Tomaggio's autograph because he
Speaker 1: was in town for an autograph show, and a buddy
Speaker 1: of mine tipped me off what hotel he was staying at.
Speaker 1: So we hung out, is me and a couple of kids.
Speaker 1: We hung out. We were teenagers. They hung out in
Speaker 1: a lobby at this hotel in Sandy as swanky hotel
Speaker 1: in San Diego, waiting for the Maggio to get out
Speaker 1: of his room and get on the elevator. And that
Speaker 1: fucking guy to matt he was an old man at
Speaker 1: that point. I think he died a couple of years later,
Speaker 1: but he he they even at that point in life.
Speaker 1: They snuck him through the kitchen. They snuck Joe to
Speaker 1: Maggio through the kitchen because he didn't you want to
Speaker 1: sign autographs for US kids. How about that? That's pretty good. Um, who,
Speaker 1: so who do you want to be? Who you would
Speaker 1: want to I probably want to bring back some presidents.
Speaker 1: I'd bring back to JFK and bring back Lincoln and
Speaker 1: then George Washington of course, what about William Howard Taff No,
Speaker 1: it would be it would be interesting to bring back
Speaker 1: the forefathers and say, all right, is this what you intended?
Speaker 1: Is this? You put all these guidelines and guardrails in
Speaker 1: the constitution. This is the country the way it is
Speaker 1: today with mobs of people running around for people disagree
Speaker 1: with people that have free thought and disagree with their position.
Speaker 1: Is this what you expected? And if you saw this,
Speaker 1: what would you change? Wouldn't that be interesting here with
Speaker 1: a guy like George Washington or any of those Benjamin Franklin,
Speaker 1: any of those people would say, Yeah, you get Thomas
Speaker 1: Edison in there, that'd be great. Um, what if you
Speaker 1: got like a warrior? What if you got Ganghis Khan
Speaker 1: or someone like that. Yeah, yeah, you could. You could
Speaker 1: go down that that rotor of you want? Or sun Zoo?
Speaker 1: How about the fact sun Zoo wrote a hundred page
Speaker 1: book The Art of war, which everyone to this day
Speaker 1: credits like any military people and when the military reason,
Speaker 1: sports people use it and they used the concepts from
Speaker 1: that book from sun Zoo in in athletic competition, on
Speaker 1: any kind of competition. Alright. Last one, Carlos in Houston
Speaker 1: U says, how much money did you lose on the
Speaker 1: Music City Miracle? Uh, Carlos, I don't want to get
Speaker 1: into it. It was a very painful amount of money.
Speaker 1: And I am trying to forget that that was of
Speaker 1: illegal forward passes, you know, Carlos from Frank White check
Speaker 1: to Kevin Dyson. Into my last breath in this mortal coil,
Speaker 1: I will believe that with all my being. He also
Speaker 1: says his three year old child is saying number one
Speaker 1: like to drop on the show. I hope he's not
Speaker 1: using the thing. Well, that's great. I love I love
Speaker 1: this man. You guys are cool. So I've heard Carlos
Speaker 1: says is three year old kids, which is like the
Speaker 1: coolest three year old kid around saying number one. And
Speaker 1: then another guy and I forget the guy's name, and
Speaker 1: I apologize from I think it was from Minnesota, said
Speaker 1: that his kid has adopted bad job by you and
Speaker 1: so his kid runs around saying bad job by you,
Speaker 1: which is great. That's pretty cool. That's pretty neat. So
Speaker 1: as we wrap this thing up, I do need to
Speaker 1: add we we have actually have a review that was
Speaker 1: added to two iTunes. Can I can I throw that
Speaker 1: in here as we Oh, let me guess, let me,
Speaker 1: let me go. This is gonna be massaging You're junk,
Speaker 1: is what this is gonna be. This is gonna be
Speaker 1: a fallacio for guess god. Yes, no, no, it's actually
Speaker 1: not the title of it is seriously entertaining, and it's
Speaker 1: five stars. It's from half nineteen eighty um, but it
Speaker 1: says this podcast is simply the best podcast around. Dave
Speaker 1: and Ben make a great parent. Always entertained me. I
Speaker 1: never missed an episode. That's it's pretty pretty amazing. It's
Speaker 1: interesting you read that one. He didn't read great podcast,
Speaker 1: great podcast. Big Ben is a radio legend. Who's the
Speaker 1: other guy from rob Rob wrote that one you put
Speaker 1: five stars? That's fine. You don't know who you are,
Speaker 1: that's fine. He again, Remember you're probably not listening now
Speaker 1: because most people don't listen to the whole fucking podcast.
Speaker 1: But if you are, God love you. We're like extreme
Speaker 1: get a life. But no, seriously, but five stars on
Speaker 1: the podcast. I know it's a pain in the ask.
Speaker 1: Nobody does it. I don't do it. I listen to
Speaker 1: podcasts all the time. I fuck it. I don't think
Speaker 1: I've ever reviewed one, so I guess I'm disingenuous. Do
Speaker 1: what I say, not what I do. But it does
Speaker 1: help us out, and we we got a couple. Um
Speaker 1: keep them coming. They'll keep those reviews coming. And five stars,
Speaker 1: it would be great. And uh, we'll love you forever.
Speaker 1: We'll love you forever. All right, have a great rest
Speaker 1: of your Sunday here, and we will be back at
Speaker 1: it tonight. I'll be back in the box in the
Speaker 1: flying pan behind the microphones for another edition of the
Speaker 1: Ben Mallar Show. Stay healthy, be well. We'll catch you
Speaker 1: next time.