Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is to set some relationship goals. We're all
Speaker 1: familiar with the idea of career goals like getting a
Speaker 1: promotion and personal goals like running a marathon. Those makes
Speaker 1: sense too. Relationship goals aren't quite so intuitive, but using
Speaker 1: a goal setting mindset in relationships can actually be transformative.
Speaker 1: From time to time, I see that someone will write
Speaker 1: or announce that people spend most of their time at work,
Speaker 1: or even people spend most of their waking hours at work.
Speaker 1: Neither are for most people true. There are a hundred
Speaker 1: sixty eight hours in a week, so spending forty hours
Speaker 1: at work is nowhere near most of the time. Even
Speaker 1: if you subtract fifty six hours per week for sleep,
Speaker 1: that's eight hours per night for seven days. That leaves
Speaker 1: seventy two hours for other things. People with regular full
Speaker 1: time jobs spend almost twice as many waking hours not
Speaker 1: working as they do working. To qualify as most of
Speaker 1: your waking hours, you'd have to work more than fifty
Speaker 1: six hours a week, and the vast majority of people
Speaker 1: do not. That said, work can certainly feel like it
Speaker 1: takes the bulk of our time, and so I've pondered
Speaker 1: why that might be. It's not even that work always
Speaker 1: feels like drudgery, which could be an obvious explanation. Even
Speaker 1: people who really love their jobs generally feel like those
Speaker 1: jobs take the bulk of their time. I think the
Speaker 1: explanation is that we give work time structure, We set goals,
Speaker 1: and we work towards them. Because the time is planned
Speaker 1: and given a purpose, it seems to expand. Of course,
Speaker 1: the rest of life isn't exactly like work at all,
Speaker 1: nor should it be. But by adding a bit more
Speaker 1: structure to our personal lives, we can make our personal
Speaker 1: lives feel more memorable and bigger. This is particularly true
Speaker 1: for time spent with other people, which tends to be
Speaker 1: the time we wish would feel bigger and more expansive.
Speaker 1: And so, rather than just try to spend more quality
Speaker 1: time with your partner, you might decide to always ask
Speaker 1: about your partner's day as soon as you see him
Speaker 1: or her after work, and not have your phone with
Speaker 1: you during this time. Instead of just trying to read
Speaker 1: more with your kids, you might embark upon a whole
Speaker 1: series or read through the Caldicott Award winning books from
Speaker 1: the past forty years. Rather than just hoping to take
Speaker 1: advantage of any current work flexibility to spend more time
Speaker 1: with family, you might schedule a daily recess at three
Speaker 1: pm while you're working from home and play with the
Speaker 1: kids for thirty minutes. Then these relationship goals can take
Speaker 1: whatever shape you want. Two kid free chats per week
Speaker 1: with your partner, calling your grandmother every other day. You
Speaker 1: can combine them with personal goals like doing a fast
Speaker 1: run with your teenager on Sunday afternoons or taking a
Speaker 1: cooking class with your sister. But the point is to
Speaker 1: be aiming towards something specific, measurable, achievable, time bound, and
Speaker 1: so forth. All those things we learned to do with
Speaker 1: work goals. Now again, there's no need to go overboard here.
Speaker 1: Some aspects of relationship buildings simply can't be quantified, and
Speaker 1: there is much to be said for just spending a
Speaker 1: lot of relaxed time together. But if you're looking for
Speaker 1: ways to feel connected with the people you love, or
Speaker 1: feel like your personal life is full and rich and
Speaker 1: as time consuming as work in a good way, well,
Speaker 1: this is one way to try set some relationship goals
Speaker 1: and you just might achieve them. And since the process
Speaker 1: itself will be good too, it's a win all the
Speaker 1: way around. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening,
Speaker 1: and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod.
Speaker 1: That's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.
Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast
Speaker 1: podcast at i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast
Speaker 1: is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,
Speaker 1: I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is
Speaker 1: a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from
Speaker 1: I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H