1
00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,720
Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

2
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:14,320
Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

3
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:19,800
Speaker 1: Today's tip is to set some relationship goals. We're all

4
00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:22,599
Speaker 1: familiar with the idea of career goals like getting a

5
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:26,279
Speaker 1: promotion and personal goals like running a marathon. Those makes

6
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:31,120
Speaker 1: sense too. Relationship goals aren't quite so intuitive, but using

7
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:36,280
Speaker 1: a goal setting mindset in relationships can actually be transformative.

8
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:40,240
Speaker 1: From time to time, I see that someone will write

9
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,480
Speaker 1: or announce that people spend most of their time at work,

10
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,520
Speaker 1: or even people spend most of their waking hours at work.

11
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:52,400
Speaker 1: Neither are for most people true. There are a hundred

12
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,560
Speaker 1: sixty eight hours in a week, so spending forty hours

13
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:59,800
Speaker 1: at work is nowhere near most of the time. Even

14
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,520
Speaker 1: if you subtract fifty six hours per week for sleep,

15
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:06,080
Speaker 1: that's eight hours per night for seven days. That leaves

16
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:09,880
Speaker 1: seventy two hours for other things. People with regular full

17
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:13,800
Speaker 1: time jobs spend almost twice as many waking hours not

18
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:18,840
Speaker 1: working as they do working. To qualify as most of

19
00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,039
Speaker 1: your waking hours, you'd have to work more than fifty

20
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,679
Speaker 1: six hours a week, and the vast majority of people

21
00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:28,000
Speaker 1: do not. That said, work can certainly feel like it

22
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,280
Speaker 1: takes the bulk of our time, and so I've pondered

23
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,720
Speaker 1: why that might be. It's not even that work always

24
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:38,600
Speaker 1: feels like drudgery, which could be an obvious explanation. Even

25
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:43,000
Speaker 1: people who really love their jobs generally feel like those

26
00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:47,000
Speaker 1: jobs take the bulk of their time. I think the

27
00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:52,920
Speaker 1: explanation is that we give work time structure, We set goals,

28
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:56,720
Speaker 1: and we work towards them. Because the time is planned

29
00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:02,560
Speaker 1: and given a purpose, it seems to expand. Of course,

30
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,960
Speaker 1: the rest of life isn't exactly like work at all,

31
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,640
Speaker 1: nor should it be. But by adding a bit more

32
00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,960
Speaker 1: structure to our personal lives, we can make our personal

33
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:15,919
Speaker 1: lives feel more memorable and bigger. This is particularly true

34
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,480
Speaker 1: for time spent with other people, which tends to be

35
00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,639
Speaker 1: the time we wish would feel bigger and more expansive.

36
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,880
Speaker 1: And so, rather than just try to spend more quality

37
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:30,400
Speaker 1: time with your partner, you might decide to always ask

38
00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:33,320
Speaker 1: about your partner's day as soon as you see him

39
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,280
Speaker 1: or her after work, and not have your phone with

40
00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:40,440
Speaker 1: you during this time. Instead of just trying to read

41
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:43,080
Speaker 1: more with your kids, you might embark upon a whole

42
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,480
Speaker 1: series or read through the Caldicott Award winning books from

43
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:50,280
Speaker 1: the past forty years. Rather than just hoping to take

44
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,600
Speaker 1: advantage of any current work flexibility to spend more time

45
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:57,040
Speaker 1: with family, you might schedule a daily recess at three

46
00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,519
Speaker 1: pm while you're working from home and play with the

47
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:04,040
Speaker 1: kids for thirty minutes. Then these relationship goals can take

48
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:07,960
Speaker 1: whatever shape you want. Two kid free chats per week

49
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,840
Speaker 1: with your partner, calling your grandmother every other day. You

50
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,800
Speaker 1: can combine them with personal goals like doing a fast

51
00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:18,160
Speaker 1: run with your teenager on Sunday afternoons or taking a

52
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,640
Speaker 1: cooking class with your sister. But the point is to

53
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:29,680
Speaker 1: be aiming towards something specific, measurable, achievable, time bound, and

54
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:33,320
Speaker 1: so forth. All those things we learned to do with

55
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:37,480
Speaker 1: work goals. Now again, there's no need to go overboard here.

56
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:42,280
Speaker 1: Some aspects of relationship buildings simply can't be quantified, and

57
00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,120
Speaker 1: there is much to be said for just spending a

58
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:48,200
Speaker 1: lot of relaxed time together. But if you're looking for

59
00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:51,040
Speaker 1: ways to feel connected with the people you love, or

60
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:54,400
Speaker 1: feel like your personal life is full and rich and

61
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:58,800
Speaker 1: as time consuming as work in a good way, well,

62
00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:02,440
Speaker 1: this is one way to try set some relationship goals

63
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:07,160
Speaker 1: and you just might achieve them. And since the process

64
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,760
Speaker 1: itself will be good too, it's a win all the

65
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:16,360
Speaker 1: way around. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening,

66
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:26,440
Speaker 1: and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

67
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,800
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

68
00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:32,479
Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

69
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:36,919
Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod.

70
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:41,960
Speaker 1: That's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

71
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:45,640
Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

72
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:49,120
Speaker 1: podcast at i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast

73
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,880
Speaker 1: is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,

74
00:04:52,000 --> 00:05:00,120
Speaker 1: I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is

75
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:03,360
Speaker 1: a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from

76
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:07,360
Speaker 1: I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

77
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:11,880
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H