WEBVTT - Making Plans for Mami + Papi 0:00:05.000 --> 0:00:07.400 I'm Honey German. My parents are Dominican. I was born 0:00:07.400 --> 0:00:09.800 and raised in New York City. I love sneakers and 0:00:09.840 --> 0:00:14.840 I'm a body positive advocate. I'm Carolina Bermudez, but i 0:00:14.880 --> 0:00:18.560 was born and raised in Ohio. I'm a wife, a mama, 0:00:18.600 --> 0:00:25.759 and a worker being. This is life in Spanglish. Carolina, Hi, 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:30.240 Honey German, how's my baby? I'm doing okay? You know, 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:34.640 dealing with mom. Dealing with parents is weird. My mom 0:00:34.760 --> 0:00:37.879 just calls me NonStop, Caroline, and she's and then when 0:00:37.920 --> 0:00:40.639 she calls me, she keeps repeating things over and she said, well, 0:00:40.640 --> 0:00:42.760 you have to forgive me. I'm seventy and when people 0:00:42.800 --> 0:00:45.600 get old and I'm like, mom, you told me this 0:00:45.760 --> 0:00:48.760 ten times. I love how honey comes out with. My 0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:52.239 mom keeps calling me, how dare she love you? And 0:00:52.320 --> 0:00:56.480 want to know what you're up to? I don't know, 0:00:56.640 --> 0:00:58.880 it's like and then she'll text me so mean that 0:01:02.280 --> 0:01:04.839 I'm like, oh, my fault, my fault. I'll call you later. 0:01:05.680 --> 0:01:08.480 My mom will call, or I'll call my mother. My 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:12.160 mother never calls me very rarely. Will my mom call anymore. 0:01:12.240 --> 0:01:14.280 She's got six kids, And have you ever seen that thing? 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:18.480 On social media on Instagram, where the guy goes, what's up, Mom? 0:01:18.560 --> 0:01:21.720 Your phone works to mom? Like we all of my 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:24.199 brothers and sisters feel that, like that because we always 0:01:24.240 --> 0:01:27.440 have to call our mother. It's the opposite of you, honey. 0:01:27.760 --> 0:01:29.840 I always call my mom and my mom will say 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:36.240 I theensemen, and I'm like, no, girlfriend, you were not 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:38.720 going to call me because you never call my ass 0:01:39.120 --> 0:01:41.240 she'd be up to in her old age. So my 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:43.720 parents moved to Miami. I think I told you guys this. 0:01:43.800 --> 0:01:47.480 They have their forever home and they are living their life. 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:52.200 They form their little community. I don't say they do 0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:59.520 get lit. They're partying with my cousins, my Anna and Veronica, 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:01.640 having to HeLa and and things like that. I mean, 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:05.360 my parents are really really fun, but I find that 0:02:05.520 --> 0:02:09.919 it's so challenging. As the youngest of six, I'm always 0:02:09.960 --> 0:02:13.560 worried about them. I'm constantly worried about them. You know, 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:16.400 my mom had COVID a couple of weeks ago, and 0:02:16.720 --> 0:02:19.200 the minute I got the text message, I called her. 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:21.720 She didn't answer. I called my dad, Daddy, what's going on, 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:24.800 how's mommy feeling? Oh, she's sleeping, she's you know, but 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:28.840 it's just when your parents get older, I feel like 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:32.520 there's this little switch that gets flipped. At least for me, 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:34.920 it has. And I see them they're moving a little 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:37.639 bit slower, They're not as fast as they used to 0:02:37.639 --> 0:02:42.359 do their repeating stories. Maybe they're asking you the same questions. 0:02:43.040 --> 0:02:46.480 And I always think to myself, how would I want 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:50.040 my kids to treat me in that moment? How do 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:53.600 I want my kids to receive me at seventy eight 0:02:53.720 --> 0:02:56.880 years old, if God blesses me with that to live 0:02:56.919 --> 0:03:01.640 that long? You know, so aging parents it's a reality 0:03:01.760 --> 0:03:04.240 for somebody in their forties. My mom had me when 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:07.639 she was twenty nine, so now she's getting so much older, 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:09.760 and it's like, I think it's challenging. It's it's it's 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:11.919 one of the things that I don't like talking about. 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:15.040 Don't they say that, you know? It's like a cycle, 0:03:15.280 --> 0:03:18.960 like they first parent you and then in the end 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:22.320 you parent them, like they end up becoming your child. Yes, 0:03:22.480 --> 0:03:24.960 And I saw my mother do it with her own mother. 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:31.160 It's like and then it's like you have to take 0:03:31.200 --> 0:03:33.400 care of your mother or your father, and it's a 0:03:33.480 --> 0:03:37.080 it's a really difficult thing to discuss because not a 0:03:37.080 --> 0:03:39.560 lot of people like to talk about it, whether your 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:42.640 relationship with your parents is strained, whether it's not, even 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:44.560 if you're close. I think it might be harder for some. 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:48.600 I saw my mother fly out to San Francisco every 0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:50.800 other month to go and take care of her mother 0:03:50.840 --> 0:03:52.440 because they didn't want to put her in a home. 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:55.720 She lived with my aunt. But these are discussions and 0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:59.520 conversations that families really don't have, Like have you spoken 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:02.880 about this with your sisters? Like where is your mom? Honey? 0:04:02.960 --> 0:04:05.240 Is your mom? And well, my mom lives in Orlando 0:04:05.640 --> 0:04:08.640 but she travels to do here in public all the time. Yes, 0:04:08.920 --> 0:04:11.440 I know, she's always there, has like business is um, 0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:14.440 she has like properties, she has cows. I'm like, okay, 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:16.159 but I think that makes her feel like she's still 0:04:16.240 --> 0:04:19.479 young and she's still alive. But yeah, there's a lot 0:04:19.520 --> 0:04:22.000 to be thought about. And I do have five siblings, 0:04:22.000 --> 0:04:23.880 and I think about it sometimes because you know, with 0:04:23.960 --> 0:04:30.840 us Latinos, it's like where is mom gonna live? You 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:38.080 don't want to put you know, but we haven't really 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:41.440 talked about it. But there are certain things that must 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:44.359 be discussed, you know, as your parents get older, to 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:47.359 make sure you know everything is properly aligned so that 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:49.400 you don't end up with a big old mess. Let's 0:04:49.440 --> 0:04:52.360 say you lose your dad and now mom is alone, Like, 0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:54.960 where do we go from there? While I love that 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:57.640 we're having this discussion right now, because as uncomfortable as 0:04:57.680 --> 0:04:59.320 it is for me, I know that it will be 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:01.880 helpful to other people, or it'll at least spark the 0:05:01.920 --> 0:05:05.279 conversation and other people's homes. So when my parents started 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:08.880 building their forever home, I was piste. I was so 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:13.000 mad because I said, how dare they? What are they 0:05:13.040 --> 0:05:15.960 thinking They're building this big house? Oh? I was the 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:18.440 most vocal what are they going to do there? Well, 0:05:18.480 --> 0:05:21.640 who's going to take care of them? And we had 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:24.960 to have the conversation where my father and my mother said, look, 0:05:25.320 --> 0:05:27.840 we've already thought this through. We never want to end 0:05:27.920 --> 0:05:31.760 up in a home We've saved up. We know that 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:36.000 should the situation arise, we have money set aside for 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:39.240 an aid or a person to come and help if 0:05:39.279 --> 0:05:41.760 we need it in the future. So they were the 0:05:41.800 --> 0:05:45.279 ones that really plotted this out, and I think it 0:05:45.360 --> 0:05:47.360 was because of my mother's experience. I think it was 0:05:47.400 --> 0:05:51.080 because my mom again, you know, one of six um 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:54.320 saw how difficult it was for everybody to take care 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:56.400 of her mother. Like I said, she moved into my 0:05:56.440 --> 0:05:59.000 aunt's house. And then it was like one sister wasn't 0:05:59.120 --> 0:06:01.599 as helpful her. You know, she had a job, she 0:06:01.640 --> 0:06:03.440 had this, she had that, and then the brothers were 0:06:03.440 --> 0:06:05.120 all living their lives and they were doing their thing, 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:07.040 and that was just you know, that was her story, 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:10.440 you know. But um, I think that that motivated her 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:13.480 and my father to think about what their future would 0:06:13.480 --> 0:06:16.520 look like. And they're in their late seventies, so you know, 0:06:16.680 --> 0:06:19.080 this is the time where you really need to buckle 0:06:19.120 --> 0:06:22.120 down and get an idea. What do your parents want 0:06:22.160 --> 0:06:24.840 for their future? Would they be okay living in an 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:28.039 over fifty five community or one of those high rise 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:33.440 buildings where they have activities and and lifestyle choices and 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:36.320 things like that for them, or do your parents want 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:39.720 to live in your home? Is your partner okay with that? 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:43.080 My brothers and sisters and I would fight for my 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:46.200 mom and dad literally fight. I would say, no, I'm 0:06:46.240 --> 0:06:49.039 taking her, No, I want her know I love that, 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:52.800 But you know that's not every family care Carolina. You know, 0:06:52.920 --> 0:06:55.479 some people I know are like, I don't have the 0:06:55.600 --> 0:06:57.719 room let's say you Let's say you live right here 0:06:57.760 --> 0:06:59.520 in New York City. Maybe you live in the projects 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:01.200 and it's a very small apartment, and you have a 0:07:01.200 --> 0:07:04.160 couple of kids. You gotta figure out, you know, well, 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:07.720 where will mom live, you know, making living arrangements. I 0:07:07.800 --> 0:07:11.000 think that would be like a great first step if 0:07:11.040 --> 0:07:13.000 you have siblings, you know, it's a great conversation to 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:15.800 be had, get all together, especially if maybe your parents 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:18.760 are suffering from health illnesses or something like that, like 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:21.320 some type of issue, and you know, God forbid they 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:24.360 passed and then another parent is left alone or they 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:26.880 need care. That's another thing. You know, if a parent 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:29.720 falls ill, who's going to take them in? Who's going 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:32.480 to be responsible for their for taking care of them. Well, 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:35.000 I think that those are all things, yes, that need 0:07:35.040 --> 0:07:37.640 to be on the list of topics to discuss. But 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:41.760 then I think that there's one overwhelming, just fact, and 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:47.200 that's that it always falls on la And my mom 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:51.480 always said to me seriously, it really really does, because 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:54.120 I think just with her experience, her brothers were out, 0:07:54.160 --> 0:07:56.160 they were living their lives, they have their families, they 0:07:56.200 --> 0:08:00.240 have their careers, and it's challenging for them, know I 0:08:00.240 --> 0:08:02.239 want to say this just you know, out of respect 0:08:02.280 --> 0:08:04.640 for my family. Um, I'm not throwing dirt on anyone. 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:07.440 I'm saying that was the reality of it, you know, Uh, 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:10.880 I know the cousins, and yeah, yeah, I know that 0:08:10.920 --> 0:08:13.680 people listen, and I would never ever disrespect my family 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:15.680 or my uncles or anyone like that, or my aunt's 0:08:15.800 --> 0:08:18.480 But I just think the reality was it came down 0:08:18.520 --> 0:08:22.360 to two sisters to really buckle down and take on 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:24.560 the brunt of the work. My mother has six kids 0:08:24.560 --> 0:08:26.560 of her own, so she would have to leave her 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:29.120 kids to go out and do things for my grandfather 0:08:29.320 --> 0:08:33.040 or my grandmother. So that's where I think that My 0:08:33.080 --> 0:08:38.480 mom always says ia ths barons and I say mom, 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:42.680 She's like I am but and I'm like, Mommy, because 0:08:42.720 --> 0:08:46.760 we were done having babies, She's like a yang. So 0:08:46.840 --> 0:08:49.040 you know what I do now, it's a little secret. 0:08:49.720 --> 0:08:51.960 I have. I have two little I have two little boys, 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:55.600 I would saying, and I go like a little voice 0:08:55.640 --> 0:09:02.000 of a yahita and I say, ah, sure, will you 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:04.720 always take care of your mama? And he's like, yes, Mommy, 0:09:04.800 --> 0:09:07.079 I love you, of course. And then I say I 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:10.520 say that, Noah, Noah, will you always take care of 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:12.720 your mama. So either way, one of them is going 0:09:12.760 --> 0:09:15.040 to do it. I'm I'm telling them both the same 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:17.160 story that I need them to feel sorry for me 0:09:17.200 --> 0:09:21.120 when I'm a little old lady's and I said, don't 0:09:21.160 --> 0:09:23.680 put me in a home. Don't. It's so crazy because 0:09:23.720 --> 0:09:26.400 it's like just a few days ago I told my husband, 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:29.840 I said, I don't have no kids. Who's gonna take 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:31.800 care of me. He's like, I'm gonna take care of you. 0:09:31.840 --> 0:09:34.600 I'm like, what, you will get old too, man, I said, 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:36.360 I'm gonna have to adopt me a couple of kids. 0:09:36.520 --> 0:09:38.120 I'm gonna have to go to d R adopt me 0:09:38.160 --> 0:09:40.440 a couple of kids, give him a great life, be 0:09:40.520 --> 0:09:42.719 the most amazing mom in the world, so I can 0:09:42.760 --> 0:09:44.160 make sure I have somebody to take care of me 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:46.680 and my old age. Well, but the thing is, it's like, Okay, 0:09:46.679 --> 0:09:48.280 so we're sitting here and we're talking a lot, and 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:50.600 we're saying all of these things right, and we're saying, oh, 0:09:50.640 --> 0:09:53.000 I don't want to go in a home or um. 0:09:53.200 --> 0:09:55.679 The reality of life is just that people have their 0:09:55.679 --> 0:10:00.360 own families and if they can't, like you mentioned New 0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:05.040 York City, plus the rent is high, mortgages are high. 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:08.880 You know, it's very challenging for people to just move 0:10:08.960 --> 0:10:12.480 someone into their house. Or you might have a husband 0:10:12.640 --> 0:10:16.160 or a wife, or a partner or a boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, 0:10:16.840 --> 0:10:20.800 that's not down to have your aging parents in the home. 0:10:21.640 --> 0:10:24.360 These are all discussions that need to be had, but 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:30.800 it's when do you have them. I feel like the 0:10:30.880 --> 0:10:33.520 sooner the better, if you haven't a parent that is 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:37.199 ill or a parent that is aging, have the conversation 0:10:37.280 --> 0:10:40.560 with your spouse and your siblings, because that's really going 0:10:40.600 --> 0:10:42.480 to be your support system and those are gonna be 0:10:42.559 --> 0:10:45.800 the your little circle that's gonna help your parents navigate 0:10:46.320 --> 0:10:49.200 their old age. Because I don't I feel like some 0:10:49.320 --> 0:10:51.880 spouses might be like not Like, let's say me, I 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:54.320 have five brothers and sisters. Who's to say that I 0:10:54.960 --> 0:10:56.520 that I told my husband, Oh my mom is six, 0:10:56.520 --> 0:10:58.280 she's gonna live with us. Who's to say my husband's 0:10:58.280 --> 0:11:00.000 gonna be like, nah, she needs to live with your sisters, 0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:01.679 she got the big house, or now she needs to 0:11:01.720 --> 0:11:03.880 live with your brother. His wife is a stay at 0:11:03.920 --> 0:11:06.040 home mom. You know. So it's like, I have the conversation. Now, 0:11:06.400 --> 0:11:08.720 put everything out in the open with everyone that you 0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:11.319 love and everyone that loves your parents. I also look 0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:13.960 at it as a benefit. There are so many things 0:11:14.040 --> 0:11:16.720 that my parents could teach my kids that I would 0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:20.600 love for them, to keep their culture alive, to tell 0:11:20.640 --> 0:11:25.160 the stories, to relive those moments in their childhood that 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:27.400 they could share with my kids. And I always say this, 0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:31.200 my kids are the youngest in our entire family. There's 0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:35.679 fourteen grandchildren that my parents have been blessed with, fourteen, 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:39.640 and my babies are the babies. And it's the reason 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:42.200 why I make it a priority to go to Miami 0:11:42.200 --> 0:11:44.040 a lot. Everybody's always asking me, why are you always 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:47.040 in Miami. Those are memories that my babies are going 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:49.640 to have because they've had the least amount of time 0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:52.480 with my mom and dad. And it's crazy how I think. 0:11:52.480 --> 0:11:54.600 My sister is like, You're so morbid, and I said, no, 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:58.200 I'm a realist. This is the reality that we have 0:11:58.520 --> 0:12:02.120 a Mommy and daddy have been here, They've they've seen 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:06.319 one grandson get married, they're about to be great grandparents. 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:10.240 But they haven't had those moments and those memories with 0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:13.120 my children personally. And so that's the reason why it's 0:12:13.160 --> 0:12:16.280 so important for me to be around them and to 0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:20.000 have them share that time with my kids. May Abulita 0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:23.440 lived to be years old, Carolina, so your boys might 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:29.280 just have They might have another twenty years. So I 0:12:29.320 --> 0:12:31.360 pray your parents live a long life and that your 0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:33.880 boys you don't get to build great memories, let's say 0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:36.840 in the next twenty years. Absolutely, And it must be something. 0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:39.400 It must be something in the water. Because my grandmother 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:42.680 lived until four I think my great grandmother lived until 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:45.760 a hundred. So it's in the jeans baby. And I 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:49.600 keep saying to my mom. I call her, I say, girlfriend, 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:57.880 did you take your vitamins today? I mom. She's like like, 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:00.760 come on, Mom, and then she's watching her carbs. She's like, no, 0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:03.720 I'm watching my carbs. And I said, a woman, take 0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:06.520 your vitamins. I bought her liquid I V I had 0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:09.160 Amazon send it to her house because she wasn't hydrating, 0:13:09.400 --> 0:13:11.960 she wasn't drinking enough water. And I said, Mommy, I'm 0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:14.280 gonna send you something in the in the mail. I 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:17.719 go on the Amazon Amazon okay boy, and I sent 0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:21.480 it to her. She goes and I said, Mom, you 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:24.680 drink it. You need to drink more water. You're not 0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:27.080 drinking enough. You know and so, and I told you 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:29.360 they still go out their party, they drink tequila, she 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:32.640 has hangovers, and I'm like, at this age, you need 0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:34.720 to take better care of yourself. So I feel like 0:13:34.800 --> 0:13:38.040 I'm more of the parent now than she is. Listen, 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:40.320 you didn't need to tell me anything else than they 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:42.840 built it forever home in Miami. That's all you needed 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:45.400 to tell me. I love it now. As far as 0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:50.120 let's let's talk about medicare and medical insurance. That's that's 0:13:50.160 --> 0:13:53.400 super important for older people because you know they're gonna 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:57.319 start going to a million different doctor appointments as soon 0:13:57.360 --> 0:14:01.559 as they're eligible, get that paperwork rolling. But health care 0:14:01.600 --> 0:14:04.040 in this country is so wild, man. I mean, I 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:08.880 gotta be honest with you. It is just it's a tragedy. 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:12.360 It is a tragedy that it in this country. When 0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:14.520 you go and see a doctor, if you get any 0:14:14.600 --> 0:14:17.920 kind of treatment, that it will put you behind. And 0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:20.840 as we've spoken about another episodes, most people don't have 0:14:20.880 --> 0:14:23.920 a whole lot of discretionary income at their disposal. So 0:14:24.040 --> 0:14:26.720 what are you gonna do if, for example, my uncle 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:32.000 who is diabetic needs insulin and it's not covered. He's 0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:37.120 paying so much to get something that is literally essential 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:41.200 to his life. It's essential, and that's what's so wild 0:14:41.280 --> 0:14:45.440 to me. Nobody cares. Our country is out of control. 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:47.640 That's all I can say about that. Well, you know what, 0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:50.440 don't know. I did see recently and I would have 0:14:50.520 --> 0:14:52.480 to go back and look at it. But recently there 0:14:52.520 --> 0:14:55.440 was news that Mark Cuban has been doing something with 0:14:55.720 --> 0:14:57.920 um and if you have a parent, or maybe if 0:14:57.960 --> 0:15:01.640 you have some medical issues, I would definitely google Mark 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:07.400 Cuban pharmaceutical or UM or medicine because he has been 0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:11.920 changing the way that people get their prescriptions. So Mark 0:15:11.960 --> 0:15:13.760 Cuban is doing the damn thing, and I feel like 0:15:13.760 --> 0:15:15.560 that is any time that you can do something to 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:19.920 better humanity, that you can help other people because he 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:23.120 basically is cutting out the pharmaceutical companies and he's making 0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:27.520 medicine that would be super expensive for people very affordable. 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:29.720 So these are all things, and like I know, this 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:33.320 isn't a sexy, fun conversation because, like I mean, talking 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:36.120 about your aging parents, it's not something that people look 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:38.520 forward to. But these are the types of things that 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:41.120 you really need to start looking into, especially if you're 0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:44.040 the one that's going to be targeted as the one 0:15:44.240 --> 0:15:46.160 to take care of them. I'm looking here. You know, 0:15:46.160 --> 0:15:48.560 I couldn't even wait once you said Mark Cuban is helping. 0:15:49.280 --> 0:15:51.000 And what you guys want to look for is the 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:54.960 Mark Cuban cost plus drug company. That's what it is. 0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:58.200 And you know he's offering like these generic drugs. You know, yes, 0:15:58.400 --> 0:16:01.760 I love it. We need that. We definitely any type 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:04.880 of help that we need, specially for elderly people they 0:16:04.920 --> 0:16:08.880 needed the most. But with Medicare, you know, there's also 0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:13.000 a Medicare supplemental plan. It's like Medicare, let's say we'll 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:16.280 cover up to and then that supplemental plan can cover 0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:19.520 once your parents get to that age. Make sure you 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:21.440 do both for them so that they don't have, you know, 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:24.800 medical bills causing them stress coming to the house, and 0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:27.040 they can also seek all the medical help that they 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:29.040 need without worrying about having to come out of their 0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:32.520 pocket because income will most likely be limited, especially if 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:35.920 your parents are not parents that have a pension. Not 0:16:36.040 --> 0:16:39.120 every parent work, let's say, their entire life in the 0:16:39.200 --> 0:16:41.400 United States, especially if you have parents that were immigrants. 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:43.240 Well that was that you brought up a really great 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:45.360 point right now, How many times in our lives. Have 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:47.760 we been the people to translate for mom and dad? 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:50.240 Or have we been the people who have to call 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:53.760 and make airline tickets or what have you? Whatever it is. 0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:56.080 If you think that's hard for your mom and dad, 0:16:56.160 --> 0:17:01.160 imagine tackling healthcare and medicaid, medicare, all of these other things, 0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:05.240 or submitting their explanation of benefits and trying to get 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:08.600 money back for f s A, you're you're flexible spending account. 0:17:08.760 --> 0:17:10.879 All of these like f s A, c B, like 0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:15.080 all of this stuff, at least for most people, is 0:17:15.200 --> 0:17:19.480 very confusing. So if you just sit down and ask 0:17:19.560 --> 0:17:23.119 your parents what their wishes are, what they see for 0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:27.320 themselves in their future, and have the conversation of what 0:17:27.359 --> 0:17:29.560 do you want me to do in a situation where 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:32.040 you know you you might not be well enough to 0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:34.320 make your own decisions, what do you want us to do? 0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:37.679 All of these things these are just grown folk things 0:17:37.720 --> 0:17:40.480 that I never wanted to encounter. But it's like it's 0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:42.359 right here and it's in my face. And if you know, 0:17:42.400 --> 0:17:46.120 if you have siblings, I think again, sit down, talk 0:17:46.160 --> 0:17:48.199 about it. You know, there's different siblings that are good 0:17:48.240 --> 0:17:50.359 at certain things. You know, like you'll be in charge 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:53.479 of taking mom to our doctor disappointments. You're in charge 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:56.960 of legal paperwork. You know, you're in charge of making 0:17:57.000 --> 0:18:00.359 sure the house is cleaned, you do the grocery, like 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:03.720 if you have siblings, start putting together a plan because 0:18:03.760 --> 0:18:06.000 you never know when that plan has to be executed 0:18:06.680 --> 0:18:09.400 at the drop of a dime, Yeah, definitely. And like 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:11.880 I said, we are here to help you guys as 0:18:11.880 --> 0:18:13.720 a resource. I know that there are some people who 0:18:13.720 --> 0:18:16.600 are really really just uncomfortable about having this kind of 0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:19.680 a conversation. Maybe we can help you with something that 0:18:19.720 --> 0:18:23.880 could spark that conversation with your family or your your 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:26.760 loved ones so that you can begin to plan for it, 0:18:26.800 --> 0:18:30.199 because I'm telling you, life is crazy. You make a 0:18:30.240 --> 0:18:32.760 plan and God laughs, and you just at least have 0:18:32.840 --> 0:18:34.880 to try to prepare the best way that you can. 0:18:35.080 --> 0:18:37.520 I know an older couple, right, I see them as 0:18:37.520 --> 0:18:40.840 like grandparents, And guess what they did, Carolina. They went 0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:43.920 into the funeral home. They already made all their arrangements. 0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:46.719 They said, we don't want to bother our family. They 0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:49.440 already picked up their casket. They were and they're like, well, 0:18:49.480 --> 0:18:51.800 like maybe like in their eighties, and this is a 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:53.720 little set already. They're like, you guys don't have to 0:18:53.760 --> 0:18:56.800 do nothing but show up. They paid for the everything. 0:18:56.800 --> 0:18:59.520 I'm talking the plots like everything, you know, maybe your 0:18:59.520 --> 0:19:03.760 parents to maybe your parents. They're not financially straight to 0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:06.440 do something like that, but you can also, you know, 0:19:06.800 --> 0:19:09.400 look at the funerals, ask them what their wishes are, 0:19:09.960 --> 0:19:12.000 where they would want to be buried or whether they 0:19:12.000 --> 0:19:13.800 want to be cremated, and have all that, you know, 0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:16.159 just set up because you just never know. I just 0:19:16.200 --> 0:19:18.960 have to add some comic relief because you know that 0:19:19.119 --> 0:19:23.920 I'm just saying this, like because I know my mom 0:19:24.000 --> 0:19:33.400 will want somebody singing. You know, my mom is gonna 0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:36.280 need violins, okay, because that's pretty much the story of 0:19:36.320 --> 0:19:39.000 her life. They're gonna want a party, They're gonna want 0:19:39.320 --> 0:19:43.840 a total blowout. So definitely, at least we can, you know, 0:19:44.720 --> 0:19:47.240 end that conversation with a smile. Now, you said you 0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:49.800 wanted to step into the salon because somebody wrote to us, 0:19:49.840 --> 0:19:51.159 and I want to make sure that we hit this 0:19:51.200 --> 0:19:52.919 before we have to get off and jump off of 0:19:52.960 --> 0:19:56.600 this episode. Today's Jenny, she broke up with her boyfriend 0:19:56.600 --> 0:19:59.879 of two years, was somewhat, but two years and they 0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:03.000 broke up somewhat amicably. I don't know what that means. 0:20:03.040 --> 0:20:05.520 I don't even think breakups can happen that much like friends. 0:20:05.800 --> 0:20:07.800 He said, Well, he wanted a family right away, and 0:20:07.840 --> 0:20:10.520 she wanted to focus more on her career. But they 0:20:10.560 --> 0:20:13.000 had a trip to Greece that was already planned together 0:20:13.359 --> 0:20:16.760 and it's non refundable. She wants to know she should. 0:20:17.359 --> 0:20:19.120 She wants to know she should just thug it out 0:20:19.160 --> 0:20:21.120 and just do the trip. I guess you don want 0:20:21.119 --> 0:20:24.359 to lose the money. They're broken up, they're cool, would 0:20:24.359 --> 0:20:27.520 you What would you say, Carolina? I love the use 0:20:27.560 --> 0:20:36.960 of the phrase thug it out to me? What were 0:20:37.000 --> 0:20:40.399 you thinking? Girl? If your relationship was shaky, you always 0:20:40.400 --> 0:20:44.000 get the insurance, like pay the extra hunter bugs. Um, 0:20:44.520 --> 0:20:48.879 so here's the thing, a trip to Greece. I can't 0:20:49.359 --> 0:20:52.560 think of a better opportunity for somebody to go and 0:20:52.800 --> 0:20:55.840 explore something on their own, just because you're not with 0:20:55.880 --> 0:20:58.760 that person. Oh wait, but no, I'm trying to think 0:20:58.760 --> 0:21:02.919 though they might have the same room. I so you 0:21:02.960 --> 0:21:05.920 could switch the plan. C you don't have to fly 0:21:06.200 --> 0:21:11.720 with this person, but you would probably be sharing cars, hotels, 0:21:12.600 --> 0:21:18.920 you're not down for it. I don't know. First thing 0:21:19.359 --> 0:21:21.119