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Speaker 1: This is John.

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Speaker 2: This is your og Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and we have.

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Speaker 1: Some rocking stories for you coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

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Speaker 2: got a quick cheum in an ad break from a sponsors,

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Speaker 2: keeping the show rocking and rolling.

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Speaker 3: I forbid my roommate's boyfriend to take a shower at

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Speaker 3: our flat because he's freeloading.

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Speaker 4: Of the power and electrical bill just came in and

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Speaker 4: you gotta pay up, Gotta put a quarter in before

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Speaker 4: the shower starts.

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Speaker 3: So I twenty one female, live in a two bedroom

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Speaker 3: flat with my roommate, twenty two female. We've lived together

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Speaker 3: for a little over a year and mostly things have

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Speaker 3: been fine. We split rent and bills evenly, and we're friendly,

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Speaker 3: though not super close, respect each other's space, and it's

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Speaker 3: been good up until recently. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 3: from users super Donut eighty eight to fifty nine, and

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Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 3: the ar slash Okay Storytime subreddit. So about six months

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Speaker 3: ago she started dating this guy, twenty four male. He

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Speaker 3: was around once or twice a week at first, but

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Speaker 3: now he's here constantly, literally sleeps over five to six

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Speaker 3: nights a week, sometimes for full weeks consecutively. He's not

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Speaker 3: on the lease, does not pay rent, does not bring

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Speaker 3: shopping home, and does not help with anything at all.

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Speaker 1: Nothing.

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Speaker 3: I've never said much because I get it, it's your boyfriend,

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Speaker 3: and I didn't want to start drama. But what's been

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Speaker 3: bothering me lately is the shower thing. He showers all

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Speaker 3: the time, like twice a day minimum, sometimes more, and

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Speaker 3: every single time he uses my stuff. He uses my shampoo,

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Speaker 3: my conditioner, my face wash, razor deodorant.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I noticed.

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Speaker 3: I didn't even say anything the first few times because

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Speaker 3: I thought maybe she let him borrow something once, But

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Speaker 3: this is just ongoing now. I've moved all my things

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Speaker 3: into my room and carry them back and forth like

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Speaker 3: I'm at a camp or something. I brought it up

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Speaker 3: to my room made a while ago, and she just

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Speaker 3: went He probably didn't realize and didn't do anything about it.

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Speaker 3: Last week, I finally said something more direct and told

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Speaker 3: her I wasn't comfortable with him showering here constantly, especially

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Speaker 3: since he doesn't live here, doesn't contribute anything, and uses

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Speaker 3: my stuff. I told her I'd feel different if he

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Speaker 3: at least bought his own stuff or chipped in somehow.

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Speaker 3: She got super annoyed and said he doesn't have any

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Speaker 3: money right now, so it's not like he can buy

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Speaker 3: his own things, and that I was being cold and controlling.

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Speaker 3: She told me I was overreacting and that it's just hygiene. Well,

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Speaker 3: that he can use your products. Babe, what are we doing?

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Speaker 3: I snapped and said, it's not about hygiene, it's about

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Speaker 3: boundaries and respect for what it's worth.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't have even minded grabbing him some.

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Speaker 3: Basics if she just asked, But she didn't, and neither

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Speaker 3: did he. They just assumed I'd be fine with it.

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Speaker 3: And honestly, I don't even really like him. He's not awful.

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Speaker 3: He's just kind of moochie and not self aware at all. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: he sounds entirely selfish. He's a selfish, unemployed man child,

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Speaker 3: mooching off of his girlfriend who seems to think he's

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Speaker 3: the best things in sliced bread.

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Speaker 1: That hit hard?

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Speaker 5: Thank you?

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Speaker 1: Where'd this comfort? That was a full thought?

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Speaker 3: It's come from I usually don't do my God, he's

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Speaker 3: just getting front row in the splash zone for Mike's way.

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Speaker 3: So maybe I'm being harsh because I already find him annoying. No,

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Speaker 3: he's stealing your toiletries. Now, my roommate's barely speaking to

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Speaker 3: me and told one of our mutual friends that I'm

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Speaker 3: being weirdly territorial and passive aggressive over a guy taking

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Speaker 3: a quick shower.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Part of me feels bad because he is broke, and

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Speaker 3: maybe I'm being too harsh, but I also feel like

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Speaker 3: I'm being walked over in my own home. I need

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Speaker 3: unbiased advice. Am I the a hole? There's an update.

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Speaker 3: Apparently there were some comments telling op to talk to

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Speaker 3: the landlord since the guests aren't allowed to stay over,

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Speaker 3: and that would solve a problem. However, you know, now

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Speaker 3: you're gonna have to live with that roommate, and it's

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Speaker 3: like it's gonna be that.

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Speaker 1: I think you just need to go.

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Speaker 3: Look if he's gonna literally live here, I'm paying his

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Speaker 3: water bill, I'm paying his electric bill, he's eating our food,

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Speaker 3: he's using my shampoo.

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Speaker 1: He's gonna have to pay something.

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Speaker 3: And if he can't pay anything, he can't stay here

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Speaker 3: like he's a roommate.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, or you're gonna have to cover him. He needs

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Speaker 1: to get a job, yeah, or whatever's keeping him from

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Speaker 1: making money.

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Speaker 4: So I go and visit Angie's parents from Tom to tom,

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Speaker 4: and I say it like on their couch over the weekends.

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Speaker 1: I kind of feel bad.

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Speaker 4: But what I do to like help out with that

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Speaker 4: is like I'll cook dinner or I'll clean up whenever

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Speaker 4: I can. I usually cook dinner every other week i'm there.

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Speaker 4: Like I made steaks last time I was there with

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Speaker 4: my like marinage, Remember those stakes I made you go, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 4: I made those sticks and some good meat right there,

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Speaker 4: and I made potatoes and stuff, or like I'll make

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Speaker 4: something quick for them. I try to keep up be

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Speaker 4: tiding and stuff like I'm yeah, you're being a good guest.

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Speaker 4: I'm trying well. She can need to be a good guest.

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Speaker 4: This guy doesn't care about being a good guest. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: he doesn't care about something. He cares about his girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: It's just convenient. We do have an update.

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Speaker 3: I ended up having another conversation with my roommate after

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Speaker 3: she got home, mostly because I couldn't keep walking around

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Speaker 3: like everything's fine when it's really not. And the comments

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Speaker 3: I read from my previous post helped me to really

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Speaker 3: come to that conclusion. I told her as calmly as

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Speaker 3: I could that this situation is seriously getting to me.

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Speaker 3: I get it that she's in love, but I'm not

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Speaker 3: just some side character in her life who has to

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Speaker 3: deal with the boyfriend constantly being in our home. I

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Speaker 3: told her flat out that it's been months now of

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Speaker 3: him basically living here, eating, showering, lounging around, sleeping over

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Speaker 3: five to six nights a week, and it's crossing the line.

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Speaker 3: She just kind of blinked at me and said I

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Speaker 3: was being heartless, literally said those exact words. She said,

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Speaker 3: I had no compassion for her relationship, or for him,

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Speaker 3: or the fact he had barely any money and needed

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Speaker 3: somewhere to stay most days and needed food. She accused

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Speaker 3: me of being dramatic and of caring more about shampoo

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Speaker 3: than a person who means the world to her, and

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Speaker 3: I just snapped. I told her this isn't about shampoo.

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Speaker 3: It's about the fact that her boyfriend, who doesn't pay rent,

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Speaker 3: contribute to bills, and isn't even on the lease, has

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Speaker 3: been using all of my personal stuff for months without asking.

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Speaker 3: Literally never asked, not once, and neither did sheat he

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Speaker 3: just started helping himself to my shampoo, my conditioner, my razor,

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Speaker 3: my face wash and m de odorant, like I'm running

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Speaker 3: a free hotel and he's a guest. And the worst

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Speaker 3: part is he barely he even talks to me. This

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Speaker 3: man's been living in my space for months and I

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Speaker 3: swear we've had maybe two conversations ever.

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Speaker 1: Oh my, that's so freaking cringe.

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Speaker 3: Dude.

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Speaker 1: Anyone that ever says on my house must and should

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Speaker 1: be okay with old roommates here, Angie, like whenever I

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Speaker 1: invited her to like a bot.

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Speaker 4: Look, I want to see how she vibes with my

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Speaker 4: friends and stuff. I'm not cool with anyone that just

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Speaker 4: doesn't talk to me here, like if hear in my space,

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Speaker 4: how's it been, how's the parents, how's the work going?

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Speaker 1: Hanging? Yeah, it's off to the left, nice, slid to

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Speaker 1: the left. Half the time.

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Speaker 3: He doesn't even say hi when he walks in the

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Speaker 3: door and just walks straight past me like I'm invisible,

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Speaker 3: and hops in the shower with my products like it's

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Speaker 3: no big deal. So I can't believe I've had to

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Speaker 3: put up with it for this long. I told her,

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Speaker 3: if either of them had asked, even just once, I

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Speaker 3: probably would have been chill about it, like yeah, he's broke.

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Speaker 1: I get it because times are hard.

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Speaker 3: I would have even offered to grab him a few

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Speaker 3: basics if he was short on cash, but no one

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Speaker 3: said anything. They just silently decided it was okay for

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Speaker 3: him to mooch off me and my stuff and my

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Speaker 3: space without so much as a conversation. Like I don't

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Speaker 3: get a say in any of this. She got super defensive,

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Speaker 3: like arms crossed and a full on attitude and said something.

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Speaker 1: Like, well, he's my boyfriend and I'm allowed to have

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Speaker 1: him over. It's my home too.

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Speaker 3: And I said, yeah, you are allowed to have him over,

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Speaker 3: but let's not pretend like he's just here.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes he's always here.

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Speaker 3: He's been here mower nights than not for the past

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Speaker 3: few months, and when he's not sleeping over, he's still around.

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Speaker 3: He's basically moved in without actually moving in. And if

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Speaker 3: he's gonna act like he lives here, then he needs

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Speaker 3: to contribute like he lives here. And by the way,

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Speaker 3: Girly Pop, actually it's not cool for your boyfriend to

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Speaker 3: live there because that goes against the agreement you signed

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Speaker 3: in your release, yo, So like quite literally from a

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Speaker 3: legal position, it's actually not cool.

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Speaker 1: From like a person to persons situation.

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Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, realistically, no one's gonna just have an

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Speaker 3: issue unless there is one.

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Speaker 1: And there is one, can you sue stealing all her stuff?

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Speaker 3: And you sue no, but you could definitely like report

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Speaker 3: it and then she'd be But you know that's a

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Speaker 3: headache for everyone.

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Speaker 4: You don't want to have to do that. Yeah, got

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Speaker 4: a headache. Yeah, you're you're a poisononic pull out the

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Speaker 4: rental agreement. I ain't concern, but I mean that's I'd

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Speaker 4: be like, dude, you literally can't do this. I'm letting

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Speaker 4: you do this. So you again, you need to understand

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Speaker 4: what's quan But every time OP brings up boundaries many

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Speaker 4: she's like, I don't like that.

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Speaker 1: I don't like that. I'd have to change.

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Speaker 3: So my roommate just rolled her eyes at all of

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Speaker 3: that and said, and I quote, get used to it.

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Speaker 3: He's my boyfriend and as I said before, he has

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Speaker 3: barely any money so wouldn't be able to contribute anything.

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Speaker 3: And that was it for me. I've been so patient.

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Speaker 3: I've tried to be understanding. I've given them the benefit

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Speaker 3: of the doubt over and over again. But at this

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Speaker 3: point I feel completely disrespected and walked over in my

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Speaker 3: own home. I've realized I'm not overreacting. I'm reacting to

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Speaker 3: months of not being heard and being treated like I

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Speaker 3: don't matter.

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Speaker 1: I'm calling our landlord tomorrow morning.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to explain that this guy has effectively moved

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Speaker 3: in and he's been staying here for weeks on end,

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Speaker 3: using amenities, taking up space, and not paying a single

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Speaker 3: penny towards rent or bills. And if he's going to

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Speaker 3: keep staying here, he needs to start paying his share.

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Speaker 3: I did not want it to come to this, but

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Speaker 3: I'm not going to keep carrying the weight of a

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Speaker 3: third person in this flat just because my roommate's in

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Speaker 3: a relationship.

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Speaker 1: She made it clear she's not going to do anything

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Speaker 1: about it.

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Speaker 3: So now I have to thank you for your responses

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Speaker 3: on the previous post. It really helped me come to

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Speaker 3: terms with the situation. And we've got a second two

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Speaker 3: things top day. Two things here right now. One, make

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Speaker 3: sure the landlord is watching whenever they move out. To

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Speaker 3: have probably some tall guy friends or guy friends there

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Speaker 3: that look muscular in some way, shape or form intimidating.

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Speaker 1: We're looking for that. Just make sure everything goes peaceful

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Speaker 1: as they can, because I'm afraid. Hey, I just called

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Speaker 1: the landlord on you and sold you and your hoopsy

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Speaker 1: pootsy girlfriend to get out of my place. Ha ha ha.

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Speaker 1: They're probably gonna lie. We can't do anything about hoopsie poopsie.

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Speaker 4: They're probably gonna like take a baseball bat to your

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Speaker 4: TV or like your aquarium or like anything that you

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Speaker 4: have that's very valuable.

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Speaker 1: Op he's a fishmonger. Yeah, update too.

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Speaker 3: Thank you guys for all of your help and comments

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Speaker 3: on my prior post. And yes, if you can tell,

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Speaker 3: I've taken on board the advice about paragraphs and capitalization. Sorry,

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Speaker 3: I'm so used to typing with no okay blah blah

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Speaker 3: blah okay. This morning I spoke to my landlord. I

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Speaker 3: was so anxious before calling because I didn't want to

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Speaker 3: feel like I was like tattling or trying to blow

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Speaker 3: things up, but I also knew I couldn't ignore it

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Speaker 3: any longer. He picked up quickly and was actually really

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Speaker 3: calm and professional about everything. Yeah, it's his job. I

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Speaker 3: explained the situation as clearly and fairly as I could,

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Speaker 3: and told him that my roommate's boyfriend has been staying

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Speaker 3: over five to six nights a week, sometimes more, using

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Speaker 3: all of our utilities, taking over our shared space, and

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Speaker 3: even using my personal things like it's all free despite

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Speaker 3: not paying a single penny towards rent or bills or

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Speaker 3: even any of the shopping. The landlord paused for a moment,

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Speaker 3: and he told me that it wasn't okay. He told

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Speaker 3: me that technically, under the lease agreement, guests are allowed

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Speaker 3: for short stays like an occasional overnight or a weekend,

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Speaker 3: but then said that's very different from someone else effectively

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Speaker 3: living in the flat, and that if someone is staying

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Speaker 3: over more than a couple of nights a week on

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Speaker 3: a consistent basis, that counts as an unofficial tenant. He

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Speaker 3: said that if my roommate wants him there full time,

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Speaker 3: he needs to be added to the lease and start

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Speaker 3: contributing to rent and bills immediately. Otherwise, he said, her

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Speaker 3: boyfriend will have to seriously cut back on how often

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Speaker 3: he's staying over, and if my roommate refuses to cooperate

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Speaker 3: or tries to keep things as they are, it could

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Speaker 3: result in her being in.

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Speaker 1: Breach of the lease agreement.

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Speaker 3: He said she could face consequences including possible eviction if

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Speaker 3: this continues without resolution.

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Speaker 1: That honestly shook me.

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Speaker 3: A little bit, but also validated that I'm not overreacting.

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Speaker 1: Now onto the awkward part.

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Speaker 3: A few hours ago, at around five pm, her boyfriend

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Speaker 3: showed up again. As he came in and went to

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Speaker 3: walk past me like usual, I stopped him and said

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Speaker 3: I needed to talk to him.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh.

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Speaker 3: He looked caught off guard and kind of gave me

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Speaker 3: that fake confused about what expression, but I still firm,

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Speaker 3: and I said I just needed to clear the air.

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Speaker 3: I told him I had noticed he's been staying here

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Speaker 3: constantly using all my stuff, such as my shampoo and

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Speaker 3: my face wash and my razor.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I get a new razor.

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Speaker 3: The same day I noticed he was using mine a deodorant,

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Speaker 3: all of it without ever asking. I said, I was

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Speaker 3: really uncomfortable with it, especially since he's not on the

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Speaker 3: lease or contributing anything.

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Speaker 1: I would be uncomfortable even if he was on the

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Speaker 1: lease and contributing stuff that's my stuff. Also, i'd be

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Speaker 1: uncomfortable livenue in my house not talking to me. Yes,

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Speaker 1: will you don't talk to me?

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Speaker 3: You use my bathroom supplies like we're siblings or something

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Speaker 3: when you don't even stop.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is kind of weird.

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Speaker 3: Also, if this is the first time you have approached

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Speaker 3: this guy to say this, you waited a little longer

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Speaker 3: than I think you should have.

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Speaker 5: I get it.

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Speaker 3: Not everyone's good at confrontation. Getting ahead of it's always

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Speaker 3: better than letting it linger. So that's when he got defensive.

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Speaker 3: He didn't yell or anything, but his tone immediately turned

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Speaker 3: snappy and kind of guilt trippy. He said something like

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Speaker 3: he was sorry he didn't have somewhere else to go

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Speaker 3: right now, and that he was in a deep place.

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Speaker 3: He then said that he wasn't trying to make my

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Speaker 3: life hard and that he was just trying to survive.

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Speaker 3: Then he launched into this whole monologue about how he's unemployed,

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Speaker 3: struggling with his mental health, and that his family all

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Speaker 3: cut him off and he can barely afford food, let

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Speaker 3: alone shampoo, and how my attitude is just another example

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Speaker 3: of people turning their backs on someone who's already at

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Speaker 3: rock bottom.

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Speaker 1: You're moving into rock bottom, dude. You signed a lease.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying to this guy? Cowboy up, Dude. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm unemployed and my feelings are hurt. And my family

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Speaker 1: turned their backs on me. It's like, gee, was it

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Speaker 1: because you've been unemployed and you won't get a job?

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Speaker 1: Is that that's just a shot in the dark.

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Speaker 4: He said he has some mental health issues he might

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Speaker 4: like struggle with, like relating to people and stuff.

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Speaker 1: Would you say cowboy up to that part if that

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Speaker 1: was the case.

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Speaker 3: Yes, But cowboying up for your mental health doesn't just

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Speaker 3: look like gritting your teeth. Cowboying up for your mental

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Speaker 3: health looks like getting into therapy, looks like taking actionable steps.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that is true. Yeah, but you got

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Speaker 1: a cowboy up, dude.

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Speaker 3: He even asked if I think he wants to be

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Speaker 3: in this position, or if I think he feels good

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Speaker 3: about the way he lives. Like I was supposed to

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Speaker 3: feel guilty for bringing up. I stayed calm and told

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Speaker 3: him that I wasn't trying to kick him while he's down,

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Speaker 3: and that if he had just asked me, I probably

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Speaker 3: would have said yes, and I might have even bought

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Speaker 3: him some basics. But he didn't ask, and he just

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Speaker 3: started helping himself like it was owed to him exactly.

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Speaker 3: He didn't really have a response to that other than

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Speaker 3: shrugging and muttering. Then I didn't really think I was

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00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:26,080
Speaker 3: a big deal, and that my roommate told him it

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00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,880
Speaker 3: was fine. I said, it is a big deal to me.

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Speaker 3: This is also my home, and he has been treating

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Speaker 3: it like a free house that he's allowed to live in,

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Speaker 3: and that's not sustainable anymore. I told him, my landlord's

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Speaker 3: going to get involved now and things will have to change.

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Speaker 3: Either he gets added to the lease and starts paying

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Speaker 3: his share, or he stops staying over all the time. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and if neither of those happened, my roommate could end

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Speaker 3: up being evicted. He got quiet after that, gave me

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00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:57,280
Speaker 3: some sort of annoyed half apology, and went into her room. Honestly,

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Speaker 3: I think he was more embarrassed than anything.

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Speaker 1: We had to put your foot down.

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Speaker 4: I know your room is gonna be mad at you,

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Speaker 4: but you had to say something because you were gonna

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Speaker 4: kind of like keep letting this happen if you didn't exactly.

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Speaker 1: Like you said, it's unsustainable. Something has to change.

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Speaker 3: However, I'm not backing down now because I've done my

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Speaker 3: part and I've been patient. I've communicated like an adult.

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Speaker 3: So what happens next is on them. No word yet

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Speaker 3: from my roommate after her convo with the landlord, which

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00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:24,880
Speaker 3: I assume happened as my landlord doesn't usually say stuff

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Speaker 3: and not follow through with it, And she still hasn't

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00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,840
Speaker 3: come back home, which leads me to the belief that

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Speaker 3: she's furious. That said, I'm done prioritizing her comfort over

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Speaker 3: my own peace of mind, as I've been more than fair.

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Speaker 3: I will update again if and when my roommate says

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Speaker 3: anything to me. Also, I've officially locked my shower stuff

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Speaker 3: away and the snacks that I had previously bought, which

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00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,800
Speaker 3: were my snacks I bought with my money. I went

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00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,640
Speaker 3: to Argo's this morning and got one of those little

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00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:54,120
Speaker 3: lockable storage boxes and slid it under my bed. As

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Speaker 3: some of you suggested, I made a very unique four

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Speaker 3: digit code for it too, so hopefully my roommate's boyfriend

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Speaker 3: doesn't go to the extreme of trying to open and

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00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,360
Speaker 3: snoop through a locked box. Thank you so much for

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00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:07,400
Speaker 3: all of your comments and constructive criticism of my non.

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Speaker 1: Capitals in paragraphs.

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Speaker 3: But hopefully this one's easier to read, and we have

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Speaker 3: a third update.

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Speaker 1: I think let's go ahead and get into it. Thank

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Speaker 1: you all for the blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

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00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,080
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm hoping this will all blow over soon, as

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00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,840
Speaker 3: confrontation is not my thing in general, and this is

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Speaker 3: a situation I really don't want to be in, as

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Speaker 3: I don't want to be the reason someone who's already struggling.

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Speaker 1: Ends up on the streets.

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Speaker 3: But you wouldn't be, really, And before I get into

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Speaker 3: the latest update, I did see a comment asking why

385
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Speaker 3: I didn't just ask her why he doesn't use her stuff,

386
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:39,360
Speaker 3: and the answer is because he already does. He uses

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Speaker 3: both of our stuff whenever he feels like it, but

388
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,480
Speaker 3: for some reason, it's mostly mine he grabs. Anyways, my

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00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,560
Speaker 3: roommate came home about an hour ago, just before twelve pm,

390
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Speaker 3: and it was obvious from the second she walked through

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Speaker 3: the door that she was furious. She slammed the front

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Speaker 3: door shut, slammed her keys a little too hard on

393
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Speaker 3: the side table, and threw her bag down. I was

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Speaker 3: in the living room at the time, and the energy

395
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,400
Speaker 3: shift was instant. I waited a moment and then came

396
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Speaker 3: out from the living room, said hello and asked as

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Speaker 3: gently as I could if everything was okay. She didn't

398
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,080
Speaker 3: answer right away and just stood there with her jaw clenched,

399
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,480
Speaker 3: before blurting out that she couldn't believe I actually called

400
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,320
Speaker 3: our landlord. Dang, you couldn't believe I did the thing

401
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,080
Speaker 3: I told you was going to happen if you didn't

402
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Speaker 3: do the thing I asked you to do.

403
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Speaker 1: Come on, this was on you, man, Come on.

404
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, And then she asked me why I was being

405
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:24,239
Speaker 3: so drumatic. I stayed calm and said that I had

406
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:26,520
Speaker 3: already told her I was going to do this if

407
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,320
Speaker 3: nothing changed, and that I did not go behind her back.

408
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:31,919
Speaker 3: She gave this bitter laugh and said something along the

409
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,880
Speaker 3: lines of yeah, well, now, thanks to that, our landlord

410
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,760
Speaker 3: told me, in no uncertain terms that boyfriend's name is

411
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Speaker 3: not allowed to stay more than two nights a week

412
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Speaker 3: anymore unless he starts baying rent.

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Speaker 1: She was absolutely livid. Wouldn't the other solution have just

414
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,720
Speaker 1: been easier? Yeah, like, hey, you could buy some groceries

415
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Speaker 1: or stop using my stuff. Yeah, that's it. I mean,

416
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Speaker 1: she gave you out, but you didn't take it, so.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's really bad for your mental health. A

418
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Speaker 3: lot of times, not having a dog in unemployed dude.

419
00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,880
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's not good for your mental that can really,

420
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Speaker 3: especially if it's been months and you're just living like

421
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Speaker 3: a mooch, You're gonna fel pretty bad.

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Speaker 4: I don't think I've ever filled that feeling, because you're

423
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Speaker 4: such a hard worker, dude.

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Speaker 1: She was absolutely livid.

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Speaker 3: She asked me if I even understood what that meant,

426
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:16,119
Speaker 3: and then she said, he literally has nowhere else to

427
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Speaker 3: go right now, and he's been staying here because he

428
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,480
Speaker 3: doesn't have a home, not because they were trying to

429
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Speaker 3: take advantage of me or something. She kept telling me

430
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Speaker 3: he was struggling and would have no money to pay

431
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:27,399
Speaker 3: rent or bills, And now what is he supposed to

432
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Speaker 3: just wander the earth and the cold at night and

433
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:33,359
Speaker 3: freezed while you and I quote sleep soundly knowing your

434
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:36,760
Speaker 3: shampoo's safe and sound. That last line was so sarcastic

435
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,159
Speaker 3: it would have been funny if it wasn't so frustrating

436
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,400
Speaker 3: and guilt tripping. I took a deep breath and said

437
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,520
Speaker 3: that it was not about the shampoo. It was about

438
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:47,080
Speaker 3: how he's been here constantly, like literally living here without

439
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,120
Speaker 3: ever being asked to contribute anything, and literally had barely

440
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:54,280
Speaker 3: even acknowledged me. Ever, I mentioned that I tried to

441
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,760
Speaker 3: talk to her about it twice and she blew it

442
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,120
Speaker 3: off both times.

443
00:18:58,359 --> 00:18:59,760
Speaker 1: What else was I supposed to do?

444
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,399
Speaker 3: She crossed her arms and looked at me like I

445
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,879
Speaker 3: was the most cold hearted person alive. She told me

446
00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:07,760
Speaker 3: he was her boyfriend, and of course she would want

447
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,280
Speaker 3: him here, that he's going through so much, and now

448
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:13,320
Speaker 3: I've made it so he feels completely unwelcome, which he is.

449
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:17,200
Speaker 3: He's unwelcome now he has made himself unwelcome.

450
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:20,120
Speaker 1: Once you overstay, you're welcome. It's really hard to get

451
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,760
Speaker 1: back into the welcome stage. You gotta do a lot.

452
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:27,040
Speaker 4: Honestly, one cooked, good meal away from getting back into

453
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:27,720
Speaker 4: the welcome stage.

454
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,400
Speaker 1: It's actually not that hard, I think.

455
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:36,400
Speaker 4: So a nice apology, some flowers, and a nice cooked millez.

456
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, he does some chores, study.

457
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,320
Speaker 4: With Haru says. Has the boyfriend said anything about him

458
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 4: looking for jobs? I don't think, literally.

459
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,560
Speaker 1: Know, like he won't. That's the thing I get it.

460
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:49,320
Speaker 1: Mental health, Hey, mental health and mental health.

461
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,120
Speaker 3: But if your mental health means you can't get a job,

462
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,600
Speaker 3: you gotta get disability. You gotta get whatever resources you

463
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:57,360
Speaker 3: can get from the state or the government. Wherever you're at,

464
00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,920
Speaker 3: they exist so and then if you're not doing that,

465
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,080
Speaker 3: he tells me, that's not really what this is about,

466
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:04,520
Speaker 3: is it. So she told me his family just cut

467
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,760
Speaker 3: him off one day with no reason, and all of

468
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,639
Speaker 3: his friends stopped talking to him too, and apparently treated

469
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 3: him awfully red flag, which in my opinion, seems ironic,

470
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,600
Speaker 3: but I don't know, maybe that's just me. Apparently he

471
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,000
Speaker 3: called her after I confronted him earlier and told her

472
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 3: that he's going to stay at a friend's place tonight,

473
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:21,600
Speaker 3: and he sounded like he was about to cry before

474
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,520
Speaker 3: he hung up the phone. Then said this was just

475
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,000
Speaker 3: another example of people not giving an f about him

476
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,479
Speaker 3: when he needs it most. I literally didn't even hear

477
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 3: him leave, so he must have crept out. I could

478
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:34,119
Speaker 3: feel the guilt tripping in every word that was said.

479
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 3: But honestly, I've reached the point where I'm done letting

480
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,040
Speaker 3: it work on me. I said, I'm sorry he's going

481
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:42,360
Speaker 3: through a rough time, but this is my home too.

482
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,840
Speaker 3: I pay rent, I pay bills, I keep this place

483
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,720
Speaker 3: going just like she does. I'm not an extra in

484
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 3: her relationship. She brought someone into this space without asking,

485
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,240
Speaker 3: let him treat it like it's his and didn't lift

486
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 3: a finger when it started affecting me.

487
00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:58,520
Speaker 1: That's not okay.

488
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:01,520
Speaker 3: And she went quiet after that, still clearly annoyed, but

489
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 3: with nothing left to say that wouldn't sound like more

490
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,040
Speaker 3: of the same. After a few seconds, she just said,

491
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,959
Speaker 3: I hope you're happy, walked off into a room, slamming

492
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:12,480
Speaker 3: the door behind her. When one door closes, another door opens.

493
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 3: Do you have any closing thoughts here? Riley, dude, you

494
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,360
Speaker 3: just gotta key on. Honestly, you saw your true colors

495
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,240
Speaker 3: of your roommate. I say, you know you got this going,

496
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,800
Speaker 3: and then probably try and figure out how to get out.

497
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 1: Of a lease with her, because this just ain't gonna

498
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:30,160
Speaker 1: work out unless she gets unthmatized. She understands what she's

499
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 1: going through, and you can go from there.

500
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:35,399
Speaker 4: And that's crazy. I think that's what you can need

501
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,399
Speaker 4: to do. You need it, yeah, hipaniser from out of that.

502
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 1: Now.

503
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:42,720
Speaker 6: It's a hastile environment. You walk into your house, your apartment, whatever,

504
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 6: and you're stressed out. You go straight to your room

505
00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 6: and you can't actually enjoy your home at this point.

506
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,359
Speaker 6: Do you pack your things up and move out and

507
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:53,359
Speaker 6: just get your own place.

508
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,600
Speaker 3: We're at the end here, let's let's finish it off.

509
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 3: I'm not happy. I didn't want it to come to this,

510
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:00,960
Speaker 3: but I am also not sorry. I've been way more

511
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,679
Speaker 3: patient than I should have been, and I've tried to

512
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,680
Speaker 3: handle this like an adult. I don't think her boyfriend

513
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:08,960
Speaker 3: feeling unwelcome is because I'm cruel. It's because they've both

514
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 3: acted like the rules don't apply to them, and that

515
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 3: is not my fault. So I guess this is where

516
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,320
Speaker 3: things stand for now. Tense, awkward, and probably about to

517
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:18,399
Speaker 3: get worse before they get better. But I feel like

518
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 3: I can see the horizon of no more stolen shampoo,

519
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 3: and hopefully this will all be over soon. Thank you

520
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:26,200
Speaker 3: for all of your comments. Mean a lot to me

521
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 3: because everyone sided with you. You were not the crazy for sure.

522
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, that's also that story. I want to know

523
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,440
Speaker 3: a little bit more about OPDF. Friends that you could

524
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:35,040
Speaker 3: reach out to. Do you have things that you can do,

525
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,680
Speaker 3: like resources that you can take. I know, I think

526
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,080
Speaker 3: there's just you got to get out of this.

527
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 5: My vegan friend keeps freaking out over food that she's

528
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:48,680
Speaker 5: not even eating. Dude, why do you have beef? Oh?

529
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,159
Speaker 5: I'm wondering if I was the a hole here. So

530
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 5: I love cooking and love to host. Bearing in mind

531
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,880
Speaker 5: all of us, including me, are Muslim and we all

532
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,960
Speaker 5: eat halal meat. One of my friends became vegan last

533
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,639
Speaker 5: When we go out for meals, we try to accommodate

534
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 5: her by going to places that facilitate vegan food. By

535
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 5: the way, this comes from aad, I don't know if

536
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:13,800
Speaker 5: that's how you say your name. Sorry twenty twenty hey,

537
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,399
Speaker 5: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

538
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 5: to the our sash Ok storytime subreddit. So that limits

539
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 5: most of our choices, as most places that serve how

540
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 5: all food don't cater very well to vegan food. So

541
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 5: we moved to a new place and I decided to

542
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:28,320
Speaker 5: invite friends over for dinner. I called my vegan friend

543
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 5: beforehand and asked her what she would like me to

544
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:32,199
Speaker 5: make and what brand she wanted me to use. I

545
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 5: assured her that I would cook everything separately for her,

546
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:37,879
Speaker 5: there would be no cross contamination. Food was served and

547
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 5: she liked it. One of my friends brought for dessert

548
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 5: homemade cheesecake that her mom made. I had already brought

549
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,879
Speaker 5: a vegan dessert for my friend, so I assumed, no problem.

550
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:50,320
Speaker 7: Yeah, well, she had a meltdown and screamed at the

551
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:52,120
Speaker 7: person who brought the cheesecake.

552
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,199
Speaker 5: I asked her to calm down and not raise her

553
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 5: voice in my house. She took friends and then left

554
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,080
Speaker 5: and said that I didn't appreciate her mind you. So

555
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,920
Speaker 5: for a whole year we have catered to her choice

556
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,399
Speaker 5: of food and places to eat out. Later on, we

557
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,440
Speaker 5: decided as a group we couldn't let her selfish antics

558
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 5: affect us. In a group chat, we discussed going out

559
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 5: in two weeks to this new law buffet opening in town,

560
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 5: and we checked that it did have vegan products. Well,

561
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:19,720
Speaker 5: said friends straight away objected, So I told her when

562
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 5: we next go out, you can bring your own food

563
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,720
Speaker 5: and we can enjoy eating out. So am I the

564
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 5: a hole? We do have an update, But do we

565
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,359
Speaker 5: think that Opie's a hole for that? Not at all.

566
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:30,639
Speaker 7: She's the a hole for screaming at your friend for

567
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 7: bringing cheesecake. Yeah, you don't like to eat it, No

568
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 7: one's force feeding you cheesecake, girl.

569
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, and Opie was doing such an amazing nicer. Yeah,

570
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,640
Speaker 5: she's making a whole separate meal just for her and

571
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 5: bringing vegan desserts. Crazy, that's so easy work update though, So,

572
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 5: after what happened, I created a new WhatsApp group with

573
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,880
Speaker 5: all my friends apart from the vegan one, to discuss

574
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,720
Speaker 5: what happened and what did you going forward. We all

575
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,159
Speaker 5: agreed that we had enabled her behavior by being too

576
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 5: accommodating and that she was rude. Someone suggested I have

577
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 5: a chat with her one on one to see if

578
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 5: there were issues going on with her, as her outburst

579
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,160
Speaker 5: is unlike her. She can be self centered but never

580
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 5: been that rude before. I agreed to the suggestion, but

581
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,960
Speaker 5: told the group that I will keep the chats as

582
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,199
Speaker 5: backup that we all are on the same page in

583
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 5: case she accuses me of bullying her and she would

584
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 5: know it is not just me. Wait, so it's like,

585
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,399
Speaker 5: if you get accused like for a bullying, you're gonna

586
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,440
Speaker 5: take down everyone else with you. Like She's like, no, no, no,

587
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:29,680
Speaker 5: I'm not the only bully. Yeah, we all are bullying

588
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 5: behind her eye on op they're like name names, name nags.

589
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 5: She's like fine, No, I texted her and asked her

590
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 5: to meet me at my place. The reason for that

591
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 5: is so that number one, she doesn't have a meltdown

592
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:45,720
Speaker 5: in public to number two if she crosses the line.

593
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 5: I was just going to ask her to leave my home.

594
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 5: My husband was on board with this, and he said

595
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 5: that he would wait outside in the car so she

596
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,199
Speaker 5: doesn't feel uncomfortable. She wears a headscarf and when we

597
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 5: get together we usually are girls only, so those of

598
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 5: us who wear headscarves can take it off. She agreed

599
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:01,920
Speaker 5: to come. We met and after greeting, I asked her

600
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,640
Speaker 5: upfront if there was an issue. She was taken aback

601
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 5: and asked why. I informed her that what happened last

602
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:09,480
Speaker 5: time was unlike her and if she is having a

603
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 5: hard time. She denied it in the beginning, but then

604
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,919
Speaker 5: burst into tears. That day, she had an argument with

605
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 5: her fiance in regards to her future mother in law.

606
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 5: She is the only vegan in the family and wanted

607
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 5: the wedding menu to be all vegan in our culture,

608
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:24,359
Speaker 5: Middle Easter and the groom pays for the wedding, and

609
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,199
Speaker 5: her mother in law said that while some of the

610
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 5: menu can cater to some vegan dishes, there will be

611
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:31,080
Speaker 5: non vegan as well for others. As her mother in

612
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 5: law said that is not up for discussion as they

613
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 5: are paying for the wedding. Her fiance, while supportive of her,

614
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:39,879
Speaker 5: agrees with his mom, and he stated to her that

615
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,160
Speaker 5: she can eat what she wants, but he is non

616
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,639
Speaker 5: vegan and will not adhere to her diet at home

617
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:48,119
Speaker 5: or when eating out. I asked what happened since she

618
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 5: said that the relationship was shaky and she gave him

619
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 5: an ultimatum, it was either her, in her views, or

620
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 5: his mother what he bluntly told her. While he loves her,

621
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 5: he wants a partner that would accept both him and

622
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,479
Speaker 5: his family. He said that if his mother disrespects her

623
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,880
Speaker 5: or anyone else in his family, he would beerate them

624
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,679
Speaker 5: and defend her, but in return, she also has to

625
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:10,959
Speaker 5: give the same amount of respect back to him and

626
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 5: his family.

627
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:15,720
Speaker 7: Just don't expect other people to adhere to your dietary restrictions.

628
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 5: That's all we need here. That's it. Just be respectful

629
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 5: to everyone's desire to eat whatever they want. Let the

630
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 5: meat meet Yeah. I asked her did her mother in

631
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 5: law ban vegan food from the menu completely? She said no.

632
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:29,640
Speaker 5: She said that there will be both.

633
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:30,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

634
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,879
Speaker 5: I asked her when she visits her fiance's family, do

635
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 5: they provide vegan food for her. She said, yes, they do.

636
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 5: I told her that she was selfish and only thought

637
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 5: of herself. Yeah, like that poor guy. She's like, you

638
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,360
Speaker 5: have to truth me or your mom, and he's like, dude,

639
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,840
Speaker 5: I just want to atak. Yeah. Like that was really

640
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,360
Speaker 5: just seemingly the only reason that the mom was like

641
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 5: she felt like the mom was against her. Yeah, just

642
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 5: because of that. And it's all working out, so you

643
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 5: don't gotta just ban the mom from the family, like literally,

644
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,239
Speaker 5: but I said to her that if they had not

645
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,720
Speaker 5: accommodated her at all, I would tell her to leave

646
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 5: the relationship. I told her that we had tried to

647
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 5: be respectful of her choices for over a year, but

648
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 5: we won't be doing that any longer. That she is

649
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,680
Speaker 5: entitled and the world doesn't revolve around her. I showed

650
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 5: her the group chat where we all agree that if

651
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 5: she continues to be disrespectful, she won't be invited out

652
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 5: any longer with us. I told her that she needs

653
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,200
Speaker 5: to be grateful her fiance was being patient with her.

654
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 5: If my husband had been rude to my mother like that,

655
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:29,919
Speaker 5: I would have broken off the relationship. She raised her

656
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 5: voice on me and slapped me all of a sudden, No,

657
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 5: you're done.

658
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 7: Oh my gosh, you slap someone, you slap anyone, like,

659
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:41,160
Speaker 7: let alone your friend, bye girl.

660
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

661
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:44,000
Speaker 5: Like, honestly, I think op is kind of being rude,

662
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 5: but like, at the same time not worth us to laugh.

663
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 5: You do not need to bring violence into the situation.

664
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 5: That's so insane. Violence is never the answer, never the answer.

665
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 5: That's right, Riley, good job. I told her to get

666
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 5: out of my house before I call the police for

667
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 5: a harmful act. She said, who would believe you? And

668
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 5: then I told her that I had recorded our old

669
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 5: conversation whoa what, just in case she lied. Later on,

670
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 5: she left and I messaged the friend group explained what

671
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 5: happened and told them that I'm done with her and

672
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 5: if they want to hang around with her, I'm fine

673
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 5: with it, just to tell me as I don't want

674
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 5: to see her. They were all shocked, and I am

675
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 5: now grieving the loss of a friend who I've known

676
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 5: since I was eleven years old, and we do have

677
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 5: a second Opdor. Yeah, I grieve it. But also she's

678
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:39,720
Speaker 5: not that cool. Yeah, she's pretty uncool even before the slab.

679
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 5: If you feel the need to like tell your friend

680
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 5: you are entitled and the world doesn't revolve around you.

681
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 5: It's not your friends. I don't think that's your friend

682
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 5: because why would you want to be friends with someone

683
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 5: that you have to say that to? And also, like,

684
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 5: I don't know if someone was my friend and they

685
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,600
Speaker 5: were acting like entitled or something like that, I call

686
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 5: it out.

687
00:29:55,880 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 7: Probably wouldn't say it like this though, No, so I'd

688
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 7: be texting in a group chat saying if.

689
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 5: She ever does this again, yeah, it's like No, I

690
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 5: would talk to her directly like an adult.

691
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 1: Yeah.

692
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 5: But we do have a second update. So it's been

693
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 5: a while since I last posted about my friend who

694
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 5: was vegan. We ended it with her slapping me. What

695
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 5: I didn't mention in previous post was that I was

696
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 5: heavily pregnant, whoa needless to say. My husband was furious

697
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 5: and wanted to press charges, especially since I had it

698
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 5: all recorded. He said, what if you or your baby

699
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 5: were harmed? Also, we had a four year old who

700
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 5: was asleep in his bedroom when the ex friend came. Anyway,

701
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 5: I convinced him to call her fiance to discuss I

702
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 5: honestly was shocked because that wasn't what she was like.

703
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 5: Her fiance came over. I asked to listen without interruption

704
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 5: and showed him the video. He was shocked and kept apologizing.

705
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 5: He said that he will deal with it and asked

706
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 5: us not to contact the police. Three weeks later, my

707
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 5: husband came and updated me. My fiance had basically spoken

708
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 5: with her about what had happened. She started hysterically crying,

709
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,800
Speaker 5: Oh my god. He called nine nine nine and they

710
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 5: sent an ambulance. What in A and E? They decided

711
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:12,200
Speaker 5: to keep her till they see her mental health and stability.

712
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 5: The fiance kept by her side alongside her family. There

713
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 5: is no definite diagnosis, but it's more likely bipolar disorder. Unfortunately,

714
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 5: it runs in her mother's side of the family, but

715
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 5: being Middle Eastern, never been acknowledged and back in midleast

716
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 5: those who had it were kept at home to keep

717
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 5: the reputation intact. So maybe it is just bi polar disorder.

718
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 5: There's a little bit more into the story, but we're

719
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 5: getting big, big developments in this story. Yeah, I mean,

720
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 5: I am interested if this has been like this before

721
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 5: or is this super recent development, because yeah, everyone said

722
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 5: like bipolar disorder. It seems like they're saying by her disorder.

723
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:49,600
Speaker 7: But I am just confused why this is just showing

724
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 7: up now, And I'm saying, if it was just after

725
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 7: she turned vegan, like, let's look into that, I would

726
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 7: probably go to the doctors and say, hey, I've had

727
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 7: this dietary chain and people I don't.

728
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 5: Know but noticing this emotional change in me. Right, check

729
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 5: your iron levels, man. So unfortunately, the fiance broke up

730
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:13,320
Speaker 5: with her. WHOA. He said that he doesn't have the

731
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:16,600
Speaker 5: understanding to cope even if she stabilizes on medication, and

732
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 5: his family basically gave him an ultimatum if he chooses

733
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 5: to stay with her, not to expect family to support them. YEA,

734
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:26,040
Speaker 5: while he had a good job, doesn't cover the wedding costs,

735
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 5: which his family one hundred percent was paying for. I

736
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,200
Speaker 5: know many of you told me to ignore her and

737
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 5: not a friend, and that she was not a friend. However,

738
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 5: I am glad that she got diagnosis, as that wasn't

739
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 5: like her in retrospect. She was She always had a

740
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 5: bit of drama and could go from sad happy easily. Okay,

741
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 5: so being her friend did put blinkers on.

742
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 1: She was just like that.

743
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 5: I still am keeping arms distance, but not opposed to

744
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 5: having a relationship in the future. Now my focus is

745
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:55,719
Speaker 5: on my own family, and I hope one day she

746
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 5: meets someone who accepts her for who she is, including

747
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 5: her bipolar disorder, and that is the end of that story.

748
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

749
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 3: Here.

750
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three

751
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 2: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

752
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 7: I finally found my sister after years apart, but she's

753
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 7: not the person I remember.

754
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 5: Long Lossester, Long Losses.

755
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 7: This is kind of ominous and spoaky. My parents got

756
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 7: divorced in August of twenty fourteen. It was a messy divorce,

757
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:24,600
Speaker 7: one of the worst I've ever known, and I know

758
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:26,760
Speaker 7: quite a few of my friend's parents. By the way,

759
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 7: this comes from wqzu and if you want to spit

760
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 7: your own.

761
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 5: Stories, go to our slash Okay storytime. Subpred it.

762
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:34,960
Speaker 7: My mother took half of my dad's savings, half of

763
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 7: his pension he had just retired after eleven years in

764
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,480
Speaker 7: the army plus twenty five years in the police force.

765
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 7: She was cheating medical benefits during this time, half of

766
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 7: the house, the mortgage on which she never contributed to,

767
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 7: and even tried to get half of the compensation my

768
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 7: dad was awarded after being hit by a car. Ice

769
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 7: you medically induced coma plus in various hospitals and rehab

770
00:33:56,280 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 7: centers from twenty fifteen to twenty sixteen. Yes, the divorced

771
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 7: almost two years. Long story short. She bankrupted my dad.

772
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 7: We were on the verge of homelessness for a while.

773
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:11,400
Speaker 7: He spiraled into depression, which subsequently put me into a depression.

774
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 7: Things were effing bad for us. She also tried to

775
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:16,319
Speaker 7: use me and my sister as a weapon against him.

776
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 7: She moved to Surrey, a place near London, two hundred

777
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 7: miles from where we were living at the time, to

778
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 7: be with the man she was cheating on my dad

779
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 7: with my sister, fourteen at the time, went with her.

780
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:28,719
Speaker 7: My mom tried to make me come to I wasn't

781
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,240
Speaker 7: no contact at this point, but I had just started

782
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 7: a software development apprenticeship at the time, so I stayed

783
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 7: with my father. Things were okay. I even went down

784
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 7: to Surrey to see them. It was when I was

785
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:42,720
Speaker 7: down there that I overheard my stepfather chatting crap about

786
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 7: my dad, a man he had never met, calling him

787
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 7: worth this, good for nothing, not a real man.

788
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:50,360
Speaker 5: Was thrown in there.

789
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 7: A couple times. She was laughing along all the way. Obviously,

790
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,280
Speaker 7: I was upset. When I got back home, I texted

791
00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 7: her to let her know that I knew what he

792
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 7: had been saying this to a barrage from her side

793
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:04,880
Speaker 7: and telling me never to talk or attempt to contact her,

794
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:09,280
Speaker 7: my stepfather or and this hurt the most my sister.

795
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:12,279
Speaker 7: I happily obliged with the first two. I carried on

796
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,920
Speaker 7: talking to my sister through Facebook, saying things like I

797
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 7: will never not love you, You'll always be my sister.

798
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 7: She said similar things back and said she missed me.

799
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 7: I went to message her one day and she'd blocked me.

800
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 7: I got a text from her saying that the way

801
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 7: I spoke to my mom and stepfather was disgusting and

802
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 7: that they had been nothing but amazing to me and her.

803
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,240
Speaker 5: Yeah that's totally from Opie's sister. Yeah.

804
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,640
Speaker 7: Yeah, oh, oh, that must be totally not from her

805
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:39,760
Speaker 7: mom trying to hack into Op's sister's account.

806
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, that feels like it's a big switch.

807
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 7: Yeah, from what we've seen so far, No way, that's

808
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:45,839
Speaker 7: not Opie's mom.

809
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:46,320
Speaker 5: Yeah.

810
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:48,399
Speaker 7: When I read it, I thought it was weird. When

811
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 7: my dad got the exact same text, word for word.

812
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,879
Speaker 7: Despite not saying anything to either of them, I knew

813
00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 7: it was my mother pretending to be my sister. I

814
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,800
Speaker 7: texted her back something along the lines up your BS

815
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 7: has always been easy to see through. I didn't get

816
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 7: any message back. Now's not the time to go into it.

817
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 7: But after many a wasted conversation with my dad, I

818
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 7: found out my mom was always emotionally abusive and a

819
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:16,759
Speaker 7: totally self absorbed person. That tracks yeah, I mean, she's

820
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:19,000
Speaker 7: still all of his money and cheated on him. Right

821
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 7: when she found out I was having self harming tendencies,

822
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:25,880
Speaker 7: she mentioned in a letter to another family member that

823
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 7: I should have tried harder. I never want anything to

824
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 7: do with her again. The issue at hand, as mentioned above,

825
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 7: my father was bankrupted. He had no money left to

826
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 7: fight for custody of my sister. I know he'd do

827
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 7: anything to see her again. Going through courts is no

828
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 7: longer an option. We don't know where they live, we

829
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 7: don't have the money. We don't even know if any

830
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:49,960
Speaker 7: of them are still alive. Until yesterday, my girlfriend and

831
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,919
Speaker 7: I were scouring the web for any online presence of them,

832
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,400
Speaker 7: when she found a Facebook profile for my sister that

833
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:58,560
Speaker 7: was created around two weeks ago. It only has one

834
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,240
Speaker 7: profile picture and the private sea settings are on pretty

835
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 7: much maximum. You can only message it. She sent me

836
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 7: the link to it, and I'm blocked. However, given what

837
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:10,000
Speaker 7: happened with the text message a few years back, I'm

838
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,239
Speaker 7: inclined to believe that's in part due to my mother.

839
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,360
Speaker 7: Maybe I'm being stupidly naive and my sister really doesn't

840
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 7: want anything to do with me.

841
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:18,360
Speaker 5: But here's my dilemma.

842
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 7: Not only has my sister been cut off for me,

843
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:25,000
Speaker 7: she's been cut off from her entire family. All her aunts, uncles,

844
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:28,000
Speaker 7: and grandparents are not allowed to contact her lest they

845
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:31,479
Speaker 7: corrupt her mother's words into seeing me and my dad again.

846
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 7: I can message my sister if I create a new

847
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 7: Facebook account, even if it's just to let her know

848
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 7: that whatever she's been fed about mine in my father's

849
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:42,160
Speaker 7: feelings about her are lies, and that we still love her.

850
00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:44,200
Speaker 7: Even if it's just to let her know that her

851
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 7: nan thinks about her every day and she could pass

852
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:49,360
Speaker 7: away happy after just one phone call from her. The

853
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,320
Speaker 7: issue is I don't want her mother intercepting the message

854
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,720
Speaker 7: and making things worse for her or us I'm sure

855
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 7: her account is heavily monitored. I might sound crazy to

856
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:00,800
Speaker 7: a lot of people, and I know there's two sides

857
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 7: to every story, including this one, but I promise you

858
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 7: on my own life, living under my mother is like

859
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 7: living under a dictatorship. Your thoughts aren't your own. It's horrible.

860
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:14,720
Speaker 7: She will start university in September. I assume I'm thinking

861
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:16,360
Speaker 7: the best way to do this is to message the

862
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 7: account around October time. The thing is, I don't know

863
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:21,840
Speaker 7: if I'm emotionally ready to be told to go f

864
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:24,440
Speaker 7: myself by her. My dad's therapist has said there's a

865
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 7: very real possibility my sister grows to become like my mother.

866
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 7: Part of me is ready to accept that fact disclosure,

867
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 7: part of me wants to believe that would never happen,

868
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:35,040
Speaker 7: And part of me thinks I should leave it alone.

869
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,239
Speaker 7: I'm really at a loss for what to do. For

870
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 7: four years I've been looking for Now that I finally

871
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 7: found her, or at least an online presence of hers,

872
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:44,799
Speaker 7: I really don't want to f anything up. What's the

873
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 7: best way to go from here? And there are some

874
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:48,839
Speaker 7: comments and an update, but.

875
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,880
Speaker 5: We got we got thoughts. This is this feels like

876
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,239
Speaker 5: those movies where it's just like, I don't know this.

877
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 5: The princess has been captured, yeah, Like no, she's stuck

878
00:38:57,640 --> 00:38:58,280
Speaker 5: at the tower.

879
00:38:58,480 --> 00:38:58,640
Speaker 6: Yeah.

880
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 5: And then and then they try. It's so hard to

881
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 5: go back to this tower and fight this dragon, but

882
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:06,640
Speaker 5: she can't. Now she's like on like riding the dragon

883
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 5: with the sword. It is just like fighting with the

884
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,400
Speaker 5: dragon or something. If that happening, I don't know.

885
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:14,400
Speaker 7: Well, but I think the only way for you to

886
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 7: figure out if she's in codes with the dragon, yeah.

887
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:19,279
Speaker 5: Is to message her. Yeah.

888
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:21,359
Speaker 7: I think that it is like a really scary thing

889
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:23,160
Speaker 7: because you don't know if you're going to get that

890
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,960
Speaker 7: fu message. But I think that it's it's worth it

891
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 7: in the long run. Like on the off chance that

892
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:31,360
Speaker 7: your sister has been meet like wanting to message you

893
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 7: for ages, but has been kind of under the thumb

894
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 7: of your mother. Yeah, and now that she's going to college,

895
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 7: I think that's the perfect opportunity to reach out. Comment one,

896
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:42,279
Speaker 7: even if it's just to let her know that her

897
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:44,239
Speaker 7: nan thinks about her every day and she could die

898
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:47,320
Speaker 7: happy after just one phone call from her. This commenter says,

899
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 7: don't do this. It comes off as very manipulative and

900
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 7: will likely send her running back away from you if

901
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 7: you try something like this. If you're going to contact her,

902
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:57,840
Speaker 7: just tell her that you love her, miss her, and

903
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:00,720
Speaker 7: hope she's doing well. If she responds to go about

904
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:04,840
Speaker 7: a normal conversation, ask about school, future goals, friends, et cetera.

905
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:07,680
Speaker 7: Leave your dad and mom out of the conversation. Be

906
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 7: prepared to be blocked, as if she tells your mom

907
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,280
Speaker 7: about this, she is likely going to feel you've hunted

908
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 7: her down to corrupt her. Opie says, that's a very

909
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:17,799
Speaker 7: good point. I hadn't even considered. My thought process is

910
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 7: that even if she wants nothing to do with me

911
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 7: or my dad, surely she can't have dismissed all of

912
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 7: her family that easily. But I don't want to do

913
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,919
Speaker 7: anything that could be twisted to justify what mom did.

914
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:31,440
Speaker 7: Thanks for the advice, Mom. And two, how sure are

915
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:33,959
Speaker 7: you that she hasn't been jaded by your mom after

916
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,239
Speaker 7: the past four years. I feel like she would have

917
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:38,760
Speaker 7: tried to talk to you. I would send the tiniest

918
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 7: message just saying that you still care and now that

919
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,160
Speaker 7: she's an adult, you were wondering if you can talk.

920
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:46,359
Speaker 7: I wouldn't go much past that. Let her decide. Opie says,

921
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 7: I'm one hundred percent sure she's been jaded. That's why

922
00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 7: I want to do this right. And there is an

923
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 7: up date what I thought those end? Nope, No, We're

924
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 7: about to find out if ope successful or not.

925
00:40:58,840 --> 00:40:59,240
Speaker 5: Well.

926
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 7: I'm twenty three now, Finnish university, starting a real job.

927
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 5: Dad and I no longer have depression. I'm pretty good.

928
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:08,920
Speaker 2: Whoo.

929
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:12,480
Speaker 7: As for my sister, a few interesting things happened, to

930
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 7: say the least. Firstly, I took the overall consensus from

931
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,799
Speaker 7: the original post and didn't make any attempt to contact her.

932
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,439
Speaker 7: I did wastedly check her page from time to time

933
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:24,360
Speaker 7: to see if anything had changed, and found that I'd

934
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:28,400
Speaker 7: been unblocked on my main Facebook account. Probably around August

935
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 7: the same year, my sister rang my aunt and said

936
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 7: she wanted to arrange a meeting with her and her son,

937
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:36,480
Speaker 7: our cousin. Obviously, my aunt immediately rang my dad and

938
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,680
Speaker 7: I and told us the good news. We were both

939
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 7: uncertain about how we should take it, but overall we

940
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,759
Speaker 7: were pretty happy. They all met up, and apparently my

941
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:47,319
Speaker 7: sister has been evicted from our mother's house for some

942
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:50,240
Speaker 7: reason or another. Oh, and is staying with the friend,

943
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:53,280
Speaker 7: and she hasn't spoken to my mom for over a year.

944
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:55,800
Speaker 7: The story goes that my mother and her new victim

945
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:59,359
Speaker 7: managed to ostracize themselves from all their friends down there,

946
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:01,800
Speaker 7: and my mother took out her aggression on my sister,

947
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 7: so she stormed out and turned up teary eyed at

948
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,720
Speaker 7: this friend's house and has been living with them ever since.

949
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 7: She asked about me and my father if we were

950
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:12,239
Speaker 7: doing well and if we hate her, and yeah, all, yeah,

951
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:15,319
Speaker 7: that's what I thought. Yeah, obviously my aunt assured her

952
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:17,959
Speaker 7: that we definitely don't. My sister says that she wants

953
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:19,880
Speaker 7: to get in contact with the both of us, but

954
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 7: she wants to take it slow and she didn't know

955
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:26,080
Speaker 7: how we would react. In my view, that's completely understandable.

956
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,959
Speaker 7: That's interesting. Point number one. Just as a side note,

957
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:30,920
Speaker 7: my mother once smacked my sister in the face for

958
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:33,280
Speaker 7: wasting a tamp on when she was twelve.

959
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 5: You waste a tampon, that's crazy what.

960
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 7: I obviously am not completely familiar with that uniquely female experience,

961
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 7: but I did get the joy of hearing that moment unfold.

962
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:44,719
Speaker 7: Just for an idea of the type of person my

963
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 7: mother is and what she did to us both as kids.

964
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 7: Interesting point number two happens when my sister goes with

965
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:53,400
Speaker 7: her new boyfriend up to visit our Nan. Another cousin

966
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 7: of ours big family is also present for this meeting.

967
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:58,560
Speaker 7: My cousin tells me that my sister told her Nan

968
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 7: that it had been a few months since she had

969
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 7: last spoken to our mother, which is quite a bit

970
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 7: different to over a year ago. Whatever, maybe my aunt

971
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,799
Speaker 7: misremembered the meeting. However, my cousin did say that she

972
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:12,000
Speaker 7: got a very off vibe from my sister, and to

973
00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 7: paraphrase her own words heavily, you would think sister had

974
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:18,279
Speaker 7: last seen us all last weekend, not five years ago.

975
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:21,320
Speaker 7: She walked into NaN's house like she owned the effing place.

976
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:22,240
Speaker 5: She didn't really.

977
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 7: Say why she was getting in contact with us and

978
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 7: not you or her father, other than she wasn't ready,

979
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:29,840
Speaker 7: And she didn't really say why she hadn't spoken to

980
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:30,720
Speaker 7: her mother either.

981
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:31,440
Speaker 5: I don't know.

982
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 7: I wasn't happy with it at all, and we were

983
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,399
Speaker 7: all thinking that you two, my father and I she'd

984
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 7: be in the room, not us. But maybe your mother

985
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 7: is maybe too paranoid. My Naan is my maternal grandparent.

986
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 7: My phone her as often as I can, which isn't

987
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,799
Speaker 7: as often as I would like to be admittedly, and

988
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:48,360
Speaker 7: I know I'll punt myself for it.

989
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:49,320
Speaker 5: I digress.

990
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 7: Every time I do phone her, she always asks about

991
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 7: my dad and his new partner and sends them both

992
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:57,800
Speaker 7: birthday cards Christmas cards. So to me, it just speaks

993
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:00,359
Speaker 7: volumes about the type of person my mother is when

994
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:02,680
Speaker 7: her mother is more concerned about the well being of

995
00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:05,080
Speaker 7: her ex husband and his new partner. Just trying to

996
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:08,400
Speaker 7: get this point home to any doubters. Number three occurs

997
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 7: when I find out that my sister asked my nan

998
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 7: for some money to help her out with university and

999
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:16,480
Speaker 7: not living with her mother anymore. I feel like this

1000
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:20,000
Speaker 7: may be the real reason that she's getting in contact

1001
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:20,920
Speaker 7: with all of these people.

1002
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:22,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, she might.

1003
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:25,239
Speaker 7: Still have all of the same biases that she had

1004
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:27,800
Speaker 7: when she was living with her mom, but now she's like, oh,

1005
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:29,440
Speaker 7: I can use these people to get money.

1006
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 5: Yeah. Interesting.

1007
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,439
Speaker 7: My Nan, being the lovely little eighty six year old

1008
00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 7: Welsh sweetheart that she is, gave her around two thousand pounds.

1009
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:37,480
Speaker 5: Now.

1010
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:40,000
Speaker 7: I'm happy to be proven wrong here, but asking for

1011
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:43,239
Speaker 7: two thousand pounds within a few hours of reconnecting with

1012
00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 7: the family that you haven't seen or made contact with

1013
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:47,240
Speaker 7: for five years.

1014
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 5: Is strange. Yeah, I thought that's a happy reunion too.

1015
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 5: I thought this was a good updates. Annoyed.

1016
00:44:56,239 --> 00:44:58,880
Speaker 7: I find out about this because around November, my Nan

1017
00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:01,360
Speaker 7: called me because she had promised me an update on

1018
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 7: the situation, to tell me that for about a week

1019
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:05,799
Speaker 7: after my sister met up with them, all they had

1020
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:09,800
Speaker 7: been in regular contact via phone and Facebook. Since that week,

1021
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:13,920
Speaker 7: nothing on returned voicemails, Facebook messages left on red my

1022
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:17,320
Speaker 7: sister had taken the money and fed off. I spent

1023
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 7: the day reassuring my Nan that she hadn't done anything

1024
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:22,719
Speaker 7: wrong and she definitely wasn't the idiot she thought she

1025
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:25,600
Speaker 7: was forgiving my sister the money. Number four is the

1026
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:27,759
Speaker 7: least interesting, but you'll be pleased to know that my

1027
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:30,840
Speaker 7: ramblings and here at least it should go without saying

1028
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 7: that since the first meeting in August with my aunt

1029
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:36,360
Speaker 7: and her son, neither my dad nor I had any

1030
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 7: direct contact with my sister. On Boxing Day, my sister

1031
00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 7: finally calls my nan and wishes her a merry Christmas.

1032
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:45,719
Speaker 7: My Nan says thanks and hangs up. In January, on

1033
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:48,600
Speaker 7: my NaN's eighty seventh birthday, my sister calls up and

1034
00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:50,320
Speaker 7: wishes her a happy birthday.

1035
00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:54,080
Speaker 5: It also mentions that she's having some money problems. That's interesting,

1036
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 5: that's crazy. We hope you figure this out right, Yeah,

1037
00:45:57,560 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 5: there you go. That's exactly how you need to do.

1038
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,840
Speaker 7: Name rolls her eyes and hands the phone to my aunt,

1039
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:05,760
Speaker 7: who buys my sister's sob story hook line and sinker

1040
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 7: and rings me to tell me the quote unquote good

1041
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:11,600
Speaker 7: news and that it's different this time. She really wants

1042
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:15,080
Speaker 7: to see you, really wants to see your bank account. Oh,

1043
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:17,520
Speaker 7: around May, which is my birthday month, by the way,

1044
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:19,719
Speaker 7: My sister sends a text to my aunt to see

1045
00:46:19,719 --> 00:46:21,799
Speaker 7: if she has any old pictures of her. My aunt

1046
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:23,799
Speaker 7: says she doesn't, but that me and my dad might,

1047
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:26,240
Speaker 7: which we do. My sister sends a text back saying

1048
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 7: that she will get in touch with us. I know

1049
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:30,759
Speaker 7: this is gonna come as a complete shock, but it's

1050
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:34,600
Speaker 7: been radio silence since, and in all honesty, I'm fine

1051
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:37,359
Speaker 7: with that. To me, it's crystal clear who my sister has.

1052
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 5: Grown up to be.

1053
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:38,319
Speaker 6: Like.

1054
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 5: That's so sad. Wow, it's so sad. That is really sad.

1055
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 5: All this work I was hoping, and then it's not

1056
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:46,760
Speaker 5: not what you wanted.

1057
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:50,759
Speaker 7: Boying with family members emotions, treating her own presence as

1058
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 7: a gift and using it to manipulate money out of people,

1059
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:56,799
Speaker 7: Inconsistent stories about a relationship with the one person she

1060
00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 7: knows would be a deal breaker if the rest of

1061
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 7: the family knew was to involved and terrible at hiding

1062
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:05,480
Speaker 7: her true intentions. Will she asked me for the photos.

1063
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:08,959
Speaker 7: Probably not unless she gets really desperate and exhausts all

1064
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:12,120
Speaker 7: other avenues for exploiting money out of people with pity stories.

1065
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 7: But even she knows that I know exactly who that

1066
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 7: money is going to. My mother knows that she's not

1067
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,719
Speaker 7: in my NaN's will at this point. If she does

1068
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:21,920
Speaker 7: want to meet up, I will bring the photos with me.

1069
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:24,719
Speaker 7: Part of me wants to bring two envelopes. Half the

1070
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:27,640
Speaker 7: photos in one envelope, the other half shredded up in another,

1071
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:30,400
Speaker 7: And depending on how well the meeting goes, depends on

1072
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:32,799
Speaker 7: which envelope she gets. I won't do that, but the

1073
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 7: thought of being that petty is very tempting. I'm not

1074
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 7: holding my breath. She was fourteen and I was seventeen

1075
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:40,640
Speaker 7: the last time I saw her. She's starting twenty one

1076
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 7: this year and I was twenty three in May. I've

1077
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,719
Speaker 7: had my years of anger and grief and done my

1078
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:49,319
Speaker 7: time with depression. I've hurt many people and many relationships

1079
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:52,360
Speaker 7: along the way. I'm still learning what's normal and what isn't.

1080
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:55,520
Speaker 7: But on the whole, my life is split up into

1081
00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:58,280
Speaker 7: before and after, and for the most part, my sister

1082
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:01,120
Speaker 7: lives and will remain in the before somewhat because I

1083
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:02,560
Speaker 7: want to maintain the memory.

1084
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 5: I have of her. Oh oh, this is so sad,

1085
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 5: really sad.

1086
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:08,760
Speaker 7: I mean this this guy is like, you know, before

1087
00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 7: he left at seventeen, he told her that he will

1088
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:14,440
Speaker 7: always love her, and I'm sure that's still true. But

1089
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:17,919
Speaker 7: to also know that this sister is not the sister

1090
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:18,319
Speaker 7: that you.

1091
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:18,799
Speaker 5: Grew up with.

1092
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:22,760
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's kind of changed and been corrupted by your mom.

1093
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:27,560
Speaker 5: I mean fourteen fourteen age that's crazy.

1094
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,120
Speaker 7: Yeah, somewhat, because I'm not ready to go through what

1095
00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:33,200
Speaker 7: I overcame again. I've accepted my role in the universe

1096
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:35,640
Speaker 7: as the recipient of bad karma to make up for

1097
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:38,520
Speaker 7: all the good karma that randomly happens to other people.

1098
00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:41,000
Speaker 7: I'm okay with that. For the first time in my life,

1099
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 7: I've been the one in control. As for my attitude

1100
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:46,399
Speaker 7: towards her and my mother, the best word I could

1101
00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 7: adequately use to describe it is ambivalent. They could win

1102
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 7: the lottery and be on the news tomorrow, or they

1103
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:55,600
Speaker 7: could get hit by a bus. My reaction would probably

1104
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:59,359
Speaker 7: be the same, dang, man, that's crazy.

1105
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:02,400
Speaker 5: No, I hope you don't mean that about your sister.

1106
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:05,560
Speaker 7: I mean, like, I understand that she's been manipulative and

1107
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:08,840
Speaker 7: dealing money. But to everyone else out there with the

1108
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:11,719
Speaker 7: strange parents or other family members, the one thing I

1109
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 7: learned is that estrangement is the best thing they'll ever

1110
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:17,000
Speaker 7: do for you. Edit in reference to my idea of

1111
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:19,880
Speaker 7: ripping up the photos, that was only ever half serious.

1112
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:22,920
Speaker 5: I wouldn't do something like that. It's petty, wouldn't be

1113
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 5: fair to my sister, and would only give me short

1114
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:28,399
Speaker 5: term satisfaction in the form of a pathetic one up.

1115
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:31,040
Speaker 5: I realized that before writing the posts in reference to

1116
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 5: the bad Karmel line, I actually think I'm a very

1117
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:35,719
Speaker 5: lucky man. All things considered, I'm where I want to

1118
00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:38,319
Speaker 5: be in life. I have a fun and happy and

1119
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:41,400
Speaker 5: stable family, around me, and I'm confident in the person

1120
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:44,359
Speaker 5: I've become. That line is a glimpse into my personality.

1121
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:47,719
Speaker 5: Some people got that. Some people were genuinely concerned for me,

1122
00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:51,279
Speaker 5: which I do sincerely appreciate. The black dog never really

1123
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 5: stops chasing you, But I get a much warmer feeling

1124
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:55,920
Speaker 5: from being able to laugh at a universe that is

1125
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:59,160
Speaker 5: seemingly constantly crapping on you than I do from pretending

1126
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 5: that everything's okay. That's what I meant by that line.

1127
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 7: And a good amount of people made the fair comment

1128
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:07,319
Speaker 7: that my sister is still young and still possibly under

1129
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:10,399
Speaker 7: my mom's influence. I appreciate those people taking the time

1130
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:13,680
Speaker 7: to give feedback and advice, but ultimately, my life has

1131
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:16,000
Speaker 7: already moved on. There is a little bit left to

1132
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:16,480
Speaker 7: the story.

1133
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:18,560
Speaker 5: But do you have any final thoughts. That is a

1134
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:21,839
Speaker 5: tough situation to be in, so tough, so tough. It's

1135
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:24,520
Speaker 5: I am glad that op is moving on because that's

1136
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 5: really all that you can do, that's all you have

1137
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:27,239
Speaker 5: control over.

1138
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:30,280
Speaker 7: So I mean, you've done what you can with trying

1139
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:32,760
Speaker 7: to reach out to your sister, right and your family

1140
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:35,359
Speaker 7: has definitely done that, and it seems like right now,

1141
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 7: she's really only interested in a relationship with you guys

1142
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:41,120
Speaker 7: when it comes to money. So until she kind of

1143
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:44,280
Speaker 7: realizes that that's not the way to beat you guys,

1144
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:46,560
Speaker 7: there's not too much you can do. I'm glad where

1145
00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:48,279
Speaker 7: your head space is at. I mean, the only other

1146
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:50,520
Speaker 7: thing I can think of is maybe you. It doesn't

1147
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:52,239
Speaker 7: seem like you would want to do this, which is fair,

1148
00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:55,400
Speaker 7: but maybe you could reach out to her and say, hey,

1149
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:58,280
Speaker 7: I want to have a conversation about the last five years.

1150
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 7: I have no in giving you money, so don't ask.

1151
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:04,319
Speaker 7: I'm not going to give it to you, and then

1152
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:06,839
Speaker 7: maybe have that conversation and get all of those things

1153
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:09,279
Speaker 7: off your chest. But right now it does are kind

1154
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:11,800
Speaker 7: of like that's no longer where I'm at in life.

1155
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 7: I made peace with the fact that I may never

1156
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:17,240
Speaker 7: see my sister again long before the events I've detailed

1157
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:19,239
Speaker 7: out here, and when this is all punted off, the

1158
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 7: closure and acceptance I had moved on from began to unravel.

1159
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:25,520
Speaker 7: I'm not ready to go back into dark days off

1160
00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 7: of a risk that everything might be okay.

1161
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:30,279
Speaker 5: Yes, in the future we may reconnect, but for.

1162
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:32,840
Speaker 7: Now I'm focused on my own life and am content

1163
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:35,520
Speaker 7: with taking some of the rare, happy memories I've had

1164
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:38,160
Speaker 7: of my family and my childhood with me untouched by

1165
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:41,680
Speaker 7: these developments. And that is the end of that story.

1166
00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:44,160
Speaker 5: Wow, Wow, sad.

1167
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:48,719
Speaker 7: I think leaving reconciliation open as a possibility is a

1168
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:50,680
Speaker 7: good thing, regardless of whether or not you want to

1169
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:53,280
Speaker 7: see her right now or even for many many years.

1170
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:57,600
Speaker 7: I think not actively like brutting it off. Yeah, that

1171
00:51:57,800 --> 00:51:59,640
Speaker 7: is the end of that story. So we're going to

1172
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:00,719
Speaker 7: jump in to the next one.

1173
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:03,279
Speaker 1: Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to tho stories.

1174
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:05,280
Speaker 2: Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors

1175
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 2: that keep the show going.

1176
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:09,160
Speaker 5: I treated my niece to a special birthday lunch, but

1177
00:52:09,239 --> 00:52:13,400
Speaker 5: her mom wasn't happy. Well, maybe the birthday lunch was bad.

1178
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:16,479
Speaker 5: So I, thirty four female and my husband's thirty eight male,

1179
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 5: travel a ton. We hardly ever get to see family

1180
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 5: because we've been all over the place Bora Bora, Paris, Hawaii,

1181
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:26,719
Speaker 5: roamed band China, you name it. Okay, brag ikes. We

1182
00:52:26,719 --> 00:52:28,719
Speaker 5: were all set to go to Maria next, but I

1183
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:31,319
Speaker 5: found out that I was pregnant and my husband thought

1184
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:33,000
Speaker 5: that we should settle down for a bit until the

1185
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:35,200
Speaker 5: baby starts school or something. By the way, this comes

1186
00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:38,200
Speaker 5: from Forsaking Ingenuity fifty nine and if you want to

1187
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:40,040
Speaker 5: submit your own stories, go to the our slash shoakaing

1188
00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:43,080
Speaker 5: Storytime sub breddit. So we were really looking forward to it,

1189
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:45,560
Speaker 5: but then I had a scarriage in September and I

1190
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:48,080
Speaker 5: was crushed. Oh. I can't shake the feeling that it

1191
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:50,319
Speaker 5: was my father. The baby boy is gone. So we

1192
00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:53,440
Speaker 5: haven't traveled anywhere since because I can't handle it emotionally.

1193
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:56,760
Speaker 5: My big sister thirty five female, has four kids, thirteen, three,

1194
00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:59,319
Speaker 5: eight months, and then another eight months, and I love

1195
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 5: them all. I see them every week now that now

1196
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:03,960
Speaker 5: that we're not traveling, My niece just turned thirteen, and

1197
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,120
Speaker 5: my sister is spending all her money on my nephew's

1198
00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:08,759
Speaker 5: birthday coming up. She's booked a big party at Chuck

1199
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:10,799
Speaker 5: E Cheese and is taking him and his buddy's to

1200
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:13,600
Speaker 5: Disney World while my niece will be babysitting the baby.

1201
00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:15,279
Speaker 5: I told my sister that I get that she needs

1202
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 5: to focus on my nephew's birthday, but I didn't think

1203
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 5: that it was fair for my niece not to get

1204
00:53:18,680 --> 00:53:21,680
Speaker 5: anything special. She snapped back that I wouldn't understand since

1205
00:53:21,719 --> 00:53:23,840
Speaker 5: I'm not a mom, and that really hurt. So I

1206
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:26,160
Speaker 5: decided to do something nice and bought some sushi and

1207
00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:28,160
Speaker 5: candy for my niece. I texted her to find out

1208
00:53:28,160 --> 00:53:30,280
Speaker 5: when her lunch break was, and when she said eleven

1209
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:32,400
Speaker 5: forty five am, I made sure to be there. I

1210
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:35,760
Speaker 5: brought a huge fifty piece sushi tray and goodie bags.

1211
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:38,440
Speaker 5: I made sure that the girls got lip gloss, nail files,

1212
00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:41,560
Speaker 5: hair clips, pink pens, and mini notepads, while the boys

1213
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:46,240
Speaker 5: got blue pens, blue poppets, controller shaped racers, and mini notepads.

1214
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:49,360
Speaker 5: I paid for everything myself. I gave any leftover sushi

1215
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:51,960
Speaker 5: to the other teachers. My niece was thrilled. She couldn't

1216
00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:54,360
Speaker 5: stop smiling, and she told me I made her the

1217
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:57,279
Speaker 5: happiest girl ever. When she got home, my sister called

1218
00:53:57,280 --> 00:53:59,000
Speaker 5: me up, saying that I made her look like a

1219
00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 5: bad mom and I made her feel terrible. You made

1220
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:05,239
Speaker 5: you look like a bad mom. I don't know what

1221
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:07,600
Speaker 5: to tell you, man, you made you look like a

1222
00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:11,600
Speaker 5: bad mom, she told our mom, And of course Mom said,

1223
00:54:11,719 --> 00:54:14,360
Speaker 5: I crossed a line. Is that crossing a line?

1224
00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 7: I don't understand how doing something nice for someone is

1225
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:19,319
Speaker 7: crossing a line.

1226
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,799
Speaker 5: She added that just because I lost my baby doesn't

1227
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:25,200
Speaker 5: mean I can take someone else's joy. Dude, So am

1228
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 5: I the a hole? No? No, no, no, definitely not

1229
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:30,319
Speaker 5: the a hole at all, But there are some comments coming.

1230
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:32,520
Speaker 5: Number one says, not the a hole. Tell mom, you

1231
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:34,759
Speaker 5: didn't take someone else's joy. You made sure that your

1232
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:37,439
Speaker 5: niece had some joy on her birthday. Someone replies, right,

1233
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:40,840
Speaker 5: this is a pretty straightforward situation. Sister made a conscious

1234
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:44,200
Speaker 5: choice to diminish her daughter to focus on amplifying her son.

1235
00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:46,520
Speaker 5: OPI only made sure that her niece knew that she

1236
00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:49,279
Speaker 5: mattered to someone. Just because she doesn't matter to her

1237
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:52,160
Speaker 5: mom doesn't mean she isn't special, and she deserves to

1238
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:54,640
Speaker 5: feel that she is special. OPI did that for her,

1239
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:57,520
Speaker 5: and sister is only mad because it is now publicly

1240
00:54:57,600 --> 00:55:00,279
Speaker 5: known that she sucks. Comment number two says, as a

1241
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:03,360
Speaker 5: mom who makes my Christmas list with the express purpose

1242
00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:06,440
Speaker 5: of making sure it's fair, her behavior is odd and gross.

1243
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:09,359
Speaker 5: Thirteen is a big birthday. That's also a great point. Yeah,

1244
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:10,319
Speaker 5: I didn't think of that, Like I.

1245
00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:13,040
Speaker 7: Mean, in general, every birthday should be making sure that

1246
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:17,000
Speaker 7: you're celebrating all of your children barely, but thirteen is

1247
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:19,640
Speaker 7: like a pretty big milestone.

1248
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:23,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, your sister ignoring your niece's birthday because of what

1249
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:25,840
Speaker 5: she will be doing for your nephew is gross. Ignoring

1250
00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 5: your sister and your mom they know that they are wrong.

1251
00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:30,440
Speaker 5: Bringing up your miscarriage when they don't like what you

1252
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:34,040
Speaker 5: do is horrible, horrible behavior. I have a question, is

1253
00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:36,680
Speaker 5: your niece from a prior marriage? Why on earth is

1254
00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:39,880
Speaker 5: your sister treating her kids so unequally? OHP says that

1255
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:42,439
Speaker 5: she was adopted when she was two. But we do

1256
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:46,480
Speaker 5: have an update. Hey everyone. First off, a huge thank

1257
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:47,680
Speaker 5: you to all of you who took the time to

1258
00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:49,719
Speaker 5: comment on my last post. Whether you thought I was

1259
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:52,439
Speaker 5: the a hole or not, your feedback means a lot

1260
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:54,920
Speaker 5: to me. I also want to express my heartfelt gratitude

1261
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:57,279
Speaker 5: for those who offered support during the difficult time of

1262
00:55:57,320 --> 00:56:00,919
Speaker 5: grieving for my baby boy and my miscarriage. It truly Now.

1263
00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 5: I have two updates to share. Update number one. I

1264
00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:06,200
Speaker 5: went over to my sister's place earlier today, February twentieth,

1265
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:08,759
Speaker 5: to drop off my niece's purse that she accidentally left

1266
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:10,400
Speaker 5: in my car when I brought her home on Monday.

1267
00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:13,200
Speaker 5: My sister was all dramatic, saying, so, first you steal

1268
00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:15,400
Speaker 5: my kid, make me look bad in front of my

1269
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:18,600
Speaker 5: other kids, and now you're buying her gifts. I tried

1270
00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:20,880
Speaker 5: to explain that I was just bringing back the purse,

1271
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 5: but she called me a liar and a thief. She

1272
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:26,439
Speaker 5: threatened to call the cops if I ever stole from

1273
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:29,799
Speaker 5: her kids again, even including the kids themselves, and said

1274
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:32,160
Speaker 5: that she wanted no contact with me because I'm a thief,

1275
00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:34,400
Speaker 5: a liar, and a selfish rat. She didn't want her

1276
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:37,120
Speaker 5: kids hanging around someone who doesn't respect their mom. My

1277
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:39,440
Speaker 5: niece jumped in and told my sister that I wouldn't

1278
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:41,839
Speaker 5: steal a cheap shee in purse from her since she

1279
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:44,280
Speaker 5: could just buy it herself. She said that she wanted

1280
00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:46,480
Speaker 5: to keep seeing me. My sister brought up that I'm

1281
00:56:46,520 --> 00:56:49,080
Speaker 5: going to start traveling in early March. Then she posted

1282
00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:51,759
Speaker 5: on Instagram claiming that I stole the purse, saying I

1283
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:54,480
Speaker 5: lied about traveling in June and switched it to March

1284
00:56:54,520 --> 00:56:56,719
Speaker 5: because I can't have kids and it's tough for me

1285
00:56:56,840 --> 00:56:59,120
Speaker 5: to be around babies. Since I ever got to meet

1286
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:01,720
Speaker 5: mine and my mom's side of the family, is blowing

1287
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:03,879
Speaker 5: up my phone and asking why I stole something and

1288
00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:07,080
Speaker 5: why I lied, which is super annoying. Honestly, I'm thinking

1289
00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:09,359
Speaker 5: about just hitting the road and traveling to get away

1290
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:11,680
Speaker 5: from all this, but I know that would hurt my niece.

1291
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:15,720
Speaker 5: Updates number two. My niece is thirteen, and my sister

1292
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 5: left her to watch the two babies, who are just

1293
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:20,320
Speaker 5: eight months old. A lot of you suggested that I

1294
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:22,080
Speaker 5: should check if my niece was going to be alone

1295
00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:23,960
Speaker 5: with the babies, but I couldn't reach out since my

1296
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,600
Speaker 5: sister blocked me, and my niece didn't even know that

1297
00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 5: she would be babysitting. Dude, eight months old, tell your daughter.

1298
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:33,560
Speaker 5: You didn't even tell your daughter. My sister blocked me

1299
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 5: yesterday after the whole I Stole a purse drama. This morning,

1300
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:38,280
Speaker 5: my niece called me around ten am and said that

1301
00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:40,560
Speaker 5: her mom told her that she couldn't eat until she

1302
00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:43,240
Speaker 5: got back because she was worried about her choking. I

1303
00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:45,680
Speaker 5: offered to come over so she could eat. My husband

1304
00:57:45,800 --> 00:57:48,960
Speaker 5: contacted CPS about telling my niece. I brought her some

1305
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:50,840
Speaker 5: food and watched the babies while we waited for the

1306
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:53,120
Speaker 5: caseworker to show up. He talked to us and also

1307
00:57:53,200 --> 00:57:55,200
Speaker 5: chatted with my niece and the neighbors. They asked where

1308
00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 5: my sister was. My niece so that she was at

1309
00:57:57,760 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 5: Disney World with her friends and my nephews friends. They

1310
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:02,920
Speaker 5: asked how often this happens, and she said it's been

1311
00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:04,800
Speaker 5: like this since the twins were born. They told us

1312
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:06,840
Speaker 5: it wasn't a serious issue and that the case would

1313
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:09,680
Speaker 5: probably be closed because she's legally allowed to babysit at

1314
00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:13,680
Speaker 5: her age. Oh my god. They tried reaching my sister,

1315
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:16,120
Speaker 5: but she didn't pick up and she's still not back

1316
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 5: up and we do have a second official update, update

1317
00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:20,200
Speaker 5: number two.

1318
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:21,000
Speaker 1: Hey y'all.

1319
00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:23,040
Speaker 5: First off, a huge thank you to all of those

1320
00:58:23,440 --> 00:58:25,760
Speaker 5: time to comment on my last post. Your feedback means

1321
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:28,400
Speaker 5: a lot to me. This one only has one update.

1322
00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:32,160
Speaker 5: So my sister has blocked me on everything, messages, Instagram, Snapchat.

1323
00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 5: I've tried reaching out to my niece, which she's not responding.

1324
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:38,160
Speaker 5: I'm guessing my sister either took her phone or it broke,

1325
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:40,360
Speaker 5: but my niece usually takes good care of her stuff,

1326
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:42,800
Speaker 5: so it's more likely that someone else broke it. I

1327
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:44,760
Speaker 5: went to my sister's place saying that I needed to

1328
00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 5: talk to her. She told me that I was trespassing

1329
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 5: and then if I didn't even five minutes, she'd called cops.

1330
00:58:49,680 --> 00:58:51,640
Speaker 5: My niece came to the door, begging her mom to

1331
00:58:51,720 --> 00:58:55,520
Speaker 5: let me in, but she just kept saying no. Eventually

1332
00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:58,080
Speaker 5: my niece came outside. She told me that she wanted

1333
00:58:58,080 --> 00:59:00,200
Speaker 5: to leave. She said that she didn't want to stay

1334
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:02,320
Speaker 5: with her mom anymore and mentioned that if I didn't

1335
00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:04,440
Speaker 5: get her out of there in two days, she'd run away.

1336
00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:06,280
Speaker 5: I know my sister and brother in law aren't the

1337
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:08,440
Speaker 5: best parents, but they're not unfit to take care of

1338
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:10,720
Speaker 5: her either. There's a little bit more to this story.

1339
00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:13,040
Speaker 5: I'm not a mom, and honestly, I have no clue

1340
00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:15,520
Speaker 5: how to care for a kid, especially a teenager. I

1341
00:59:15,560 --> 00:59:18,240
Speaker 5: don't know anything about the adoption process. I just don't

1342
00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:20,560
Speaker 5: want my needs to be in a place where she's uncomfortable.

1343
00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:23,080
Speaker 5: And to add so, I totally forgot to mention that

1344
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:25,120
Speaker 5: my sister told me that I can't be around her

1345
00:59:25,200 --> 00:59:27,800
Speaker 5: kids anymore. She's worried about them being around a thief,

1346
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,880
Speaker 5: a liar, and even called me a kidnapper just because

1347
00:59:30,880 --> 00:59:34,200
Speaker 5: her daughter talks to me about stuff instead of her. Also,

1348
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 5: the CPS report. They claimed that it was a safety

1349
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:39,720
Speaker 5: hazard for her older children not to eat due to

1350
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:43,320
Speaker 5: their difficulty of controlling and maintaining how much the which

1351
00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:46,360
Speaker 5: makes no sense because the babies were able to eat.

1352
00:59:46,400 --> 00:59:50,840
Speaker 5: That's the story. Well we leave it there. Oh my goodness. Yeah,

1353
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:53,560
Speaker 5: that's insane because such a difficult position that Opie is in,

1354
00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:56,480
Speaker 5: because like even if this niece is like coming to

1355
00:59:56,520 --> 00:59:58,360
Speaker 5: her and being like, hey, you need to take care

1356
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:00,000
Speaker 5: of me or else, I'm gonna go, like, I'm gonna

1357
01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:02,320
Speaker 5: be out of here in two days either way, one

1358
01:00:02,320 --> 01:00:04,000
Speaker 5: way or another. I'm gonna be out of here. So

1359
01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:06,000
Speaker 5: either like you take me in or I'm out on

1360
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:09,400
Speaker 5: my own. And it's like, okay, well she can't really

1361
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:12,160
Speaker 5: do anything about that, No, yeah, I really say, yeah,

1362
01:00:12,280 --> 01:00:15,720
Speaker 5: if hope he takes her in, then she gets arrested, yeah.

1363
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:20,160
Speaker 7: You know, nappings or something. Yeah, that's so tricky. But

1364
01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:22,080
Speaker 7: that is the end of that episode.