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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more, please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here right nawb it that was for

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Speaker 1: you Jay. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, it's that time. It's

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Speaker 1: time for the Strawberry Letter with my good friend Shirley Strawberry.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, junior. Subject. I'm going down because he ain't around,

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Speaker 1: do Stephen Shirley. I am a divorced female. I am

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Speaker 1: crushed and lonely without a man in my life. That's

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Speaker 1: why I'm writing you, and that's my only problem. I

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Speaker 1: am one of those women that does not like to

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Speaker 1: be without a man and someone to lean on when

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Speaker 1: I feel down or when I'm going through things. I

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Speaker 1: was in a tumultuous marriage for about ten years and

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Speaker 1: I've been single for three years now. Even though my

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Speaker 1: marriage was crazy, I wanted to work things out. I

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Speaker 1: would not end up alone. I feel like I'm just

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Speaker 1: going through life now without any satisfaction. I am fine

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Speaker 1: when I'm around others, but when I'm at home, that's

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Speaker 1: when I realize I'm bored and alone. I got dressed

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Speaker 1: for church on Sunday and I noticed that I haven't

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Speaker 1: purchased new underwear in the last three years. I don't

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Speaker 1: even care if my underwear matches anymore because no one

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Speaker 1: is going to see it. I also haven't bought any

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Speaker 1: new dresses or heels because I don't feel like there's

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Speaker 1: anyone to impress. I did all of that for my husband,

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Speaker 1: but now I will wear my headscarf that I sleep

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Speaker 1: into the grocery store. My friends tell me that I'll

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Speaker 1: never find a man like that because men are always

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Speaker 1: lurking and looking when I least expect it. Don't get

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Speaker 1: me wrong, I'm not all depressed and feeling hopeless. I

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Speaker 1: just can't snap out of this phase I'm going through.

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Speaker 1: My ex husband has moved on, and he says he

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Speaker 1: is happier now. Stephen Shirley, how can I get back

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Speaker 1: to reality before it's too late and I'm an old maid?

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Speaker 1: Please advise? Well, you said all three letter that you

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Speaker 1: know you're not depressed, or you're not down or anything,

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Speaker 1: but I'm gonna say it sounds like you are depressed

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Speaker 1: because you're going outside to the store with your head

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Speaker 1: scarf that you sleep in, that you wear to bed

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Speaker 1: to the grocery store. That doesn't sound a little depressed

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Speaker 1: to you. I mean, that's not what you would do normally.

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Speaker 1: You haven't bought yourself any new underwear, any new dresses,

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Speaker 1: any heels or anything. It doesn't sound like you cannot

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Speaker 1: afford to do that. You just haven't done it. You

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Speaker 1: are going through something, whether you want to admit it

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Speaker 1: or not. And you said it, your crushed lonely without

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Speaker 1: a man in your life. So you are crushed, you

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Speaker 1: are down. Your friends are right, you won't get a

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Speaker 1: man like that, going to a grocery store with your

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Speaker 1: head scarf and head rag on and you know, and

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Speaker 1: all of that. But the point is, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: almost like you're doing all these things for a man.

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Speaker 1: What do you do for yourself? You gotta do some

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Speaker 1: things for yourself. You got you gotta feel good about yourself,

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Speaker 1: and you know, and do these things for yourself, be

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Speaker 1: confident in who you are. Don't just do them for

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Speaker 1: a man. You gotta love yourself. I mean, again, your

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Speaker 1: friends are right, You're not going to get a man

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Speaker 1: like that because men are visual. They do like a

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Speaker 1: very nice package they do. So you gotta do what

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Speaker 1: you gotta do in this situation, whether if it's going

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Speaker 1: to see a therapist. Even though you're kind of in

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Speaker 1: denial right now, you know, whatever you gotta do, you

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Speaker 1: gotta get out by yourself some new clothes. You'll feel better.

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Speaker 1: You know, when you get some new dresses, some new underwear,

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Speaker 1: start loving on yourself again. That is a problem. Then

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Speaker 1: you can you know, I think you'll attract a man

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Speaker 1: or whatever, but it's never gonna work if you don't

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Speaker 1: love yourself anyway. So start there, and I think you

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Speaker 1: know you'll have better results in your relationships. Start with

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Speaker 1: you be happy with who you are, you, Steve, This

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Speaker 1: letter right here is from a woman who, as surely,

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Speaker 1: so so wonderfully pointed out, you're in denial through the

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Speaker 1: whole letter because everything you say and you're not, it

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Speaker 1: sounds like you are. So here's your problem. I am

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Speaker 1: one of those women that doesn't like to be without

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Speaker 1: a man and someone to lean on when I feel

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Speaker 1: down or when I'm going through things. See, that's a problem.

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Speaker 1: So now, once you've identified the problem, you further fall

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Speaker 1: deeper into it. I was in a tumultuous marriage for

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Speaker 1: about ten years. I've been single for three now, and

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Speaker 1: even though my marriage was crazy, I wanted to work

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Speaker 1: things out so I would not end up alone. Wait

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Speaker 1: a minute, Wait a minute. So you wanted to stay

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Speaker 1: in something that you were absolutely probably miserable in, but

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Speaker 1: you wanted to stay in it just so you wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be alone. So let me get this right. You would

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Speaker 1: rather be in a bad marriage, fell with misery with

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Speaker 1: no reward than to be alone. See the problem we

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Speaker 1: have in this letter is you have a bad definition.

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Speaker 1: See being alone is solitude, but being alone becomes loneliness

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Speaker 1: when you become aware of it. You follow what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: Being alone is solitude. Solitude is good for the soul.

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Speaker 1: Everybody needs some me time. Everybody needs some time to themselves,

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Speaker 1: to gather your thoughts, to be who you are, do

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Speaker 1: what you want to do. But that solitude can easily

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Speaker 1: turn into loneliness when you are aware of it. And

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Speaker 1: all you're doing is making yourself aware of what life

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Speaker 1: is like without somebody, even if it's miserable with somebody.

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Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm you know, I want things

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Speaker 1: work out so I wouldn't end up blown. I feel

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Speaker 1: like I'm just going through life now without any satisfaction.

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Speaker 1: I'm fine when I'm around others. Okay, so when you

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Speaker 1: buy yourself, you ain't nothing to do. Like I said,

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Speaker 1: I'm home. That's when I realize I'm bored and alone.

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Speaker 1: I got dressed for church on Sunday. I noticed that

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Speaker 1: I haven't purchased new underwear in the last three years.

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Speaker 1: I don't care. I'm underwear matches anymore. Called no one

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Speaker 1: is going to see it. Let's see. That's why you're

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Speaker 1: wrong about underwear. Man. Underwear can keep me in a way.

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Speaker 1: When we come back, I'll tell you what. All right, Steve,

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Speaker 1: we'll be listening waiting for it. You're a response part

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Speaker 1: two of Today's Strawberry Letter, I'm going down because he

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Speaker 1: ain't brown. We're gonna hear more from Steve at twenty

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Speaker 1: three minutes after the hour right after this. You're listening,

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Speaker 1: all right, Steve, Come on, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters

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Speaker 1: subject I'm going down because he ain't around. Here's this

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Speaker 1: lady that got a divorced and she would rather have

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Speaker 1: stayed in her marriage that was miserable, but she'd rather

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Speaker 1: be miserable than to be alone. She has this problem

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Speaker 1: with being by herself, obviously, and she's willing to do

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Speaker 1: anything to be with somebody. That's why she would rather

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Speaker 1: stay in the tumutualius marriage for ten years than to

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Speaker 1: be by herself. And she wanted it to work because,

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Speaker 1: she says, so I would not end up alone. Now

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Speaker 1: she feels like she's going through life without any satisfaction.

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Speaker 1: I'm fine when I'm around others, but when I'm home,

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Speaker 1: that's when I realize I'm bored and alone. Lady, you

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Speaker 1: got to change your viewpoint of being by yourself the

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Speaker 1: ten years of rough marriage. Don't you see that the

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Speaker 1: breakup was the blessing for you that now God has

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Speaker 1: given you an opportunity to have a fuller, richer, more

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Speaker 1: wonderful and rewarding life than the ten years of turmoil

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Speaker 1: you were in. But you can't see the blessing because

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Speaker 1: you keep looking at the negative of being by yourself

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Speaker 1: or the devil the foods you real good. So now

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Speaker 1: he got you thinking he'd by yourself, that you would

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Speaker 1: rather be in misery than to be alone? Are you crazy?

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Speaker 1: See you you didn't miss the whole blessing because you

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Speaker 1: keep looking at what you don't have instead of realizing

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Speaker 1: the opportunity of blessing those put in front of I

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Speaker 1: got dressed for church on Sunday, and I noticed that

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Speaker 1: I haven't purchased new underwear in the last three years.

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Speaker 1: I don't even care my underwear matching mid call because

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Speaker 1: no one gonna see it. People see bad underwear. You

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Speaker 1: can't get away from bad underwear. Them under that old

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Speaker 1: underwear can be keeping men away. See, let me take

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Speaker 1: what's wrong with bad bad underwear? You walking? You don't

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Speaker 1: even know that the lastic around the topton pop. Now

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Speaker 1: the lastic is hanging out the top of your pants.

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Speaker 1: Here go another reason you need to straighten your underwear

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Speaker 1: out when men see your panty line in your pants.

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Speaker 1: You only got one panty line on one side because

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Speaker 1: the other side snapped. Oh, it ain't cutting into you

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Speaker 1: like the other side. Now you got one panty line. Now.

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Speaker 1: Women don't like panty lines, but we do. Really, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: me and like panty line. Look at that thing trying

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Speaker 1: to bust up out of there. Men don't mind panty lines.

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Speaker 1: Women don't like pant lines because women like the smoothness.

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Speaker 1: That smoothness is cool. But when the panty line, we

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Speaker 1: know you got panties on. Now, imagination going crazy, But

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Speaker 1: I wonder what it looked like I get out the draw.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. You got stuff like that

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Speaker 1: going on? And if you got a hole in your

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Speaker 1: underwear with pants on, we can see that hole in

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Speaker 1: your underwear. We see all listen, so stop saying that

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Speaker 1: bad underwear and you can put it on. Now, here's

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Speaker 1: another thing you do when you go to the grocery store.

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Speaker 1: You got your head wrapped in the red that you slept.

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Speaker 1: Now you walk around the grocery store like you are

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Speaker 1: to be on syrup bottle. So now who you expecting meet?

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Speaker 1: Don't nobody want to lay they on the syrup bottle?

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Speaker 1: But that old ass man on that right now? Who

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Speaker 1: who you gonna's up with? Now? Now? The only person

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Speaker 1: won't at your mamma is uncle Ben. Now you're just

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Speaker 1: walking around toe up. I did all that for my husband,

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Speaker 1: but now I wear my head's golf that I sleep

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Speaker 1: into the grocery store. Don't nobody want to be walking

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Speaker 1: behind you smelling sulfa ating gloves? Man? All we smelling

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Speaker 1: this Burger Martin pro line body walking behind you? What

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Speaker 1: is that? Man? Is that sulfa ding? And for young

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Speaker 1: people that don't know what that is, walk your ass

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Speaker 1: down the black beauty section at a drug store and

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Speaker 1: learn yourself something. Now, your friends is absolutely right, because

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Speaker 1: your friends is telling me that you never find a

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Speaker 1: man like that. You know why, because who you could meet.

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Speaker 1: It's who you're not preparing to me because you don't

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Speaker 1: want to do it because you don't have a man.

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Speaker 1: But it's the same thing you gotta do to get

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Speaker 1: a man. Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed and

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Speaker 1: feeling hopefully. You damn show't sound like it in this

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Speaker 1: letter though, really, and I'll tell you something else. One

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Speaker 1: last thing about this underwear. You feel better when you

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Speaker 1: got on new underwear. You walked there that damn head,

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Speaker 1: rag off your head at that damn grocery stove, looking

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Speaker 1: like you're in that shopping for white folks. No hell,

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Speaker 1: that makes me sick bashing them seeing me down here

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Speaker 1: to get grocery for the weekend. To ask that rag

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Speaker 1: off your damn head, why you in that? Why don't

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Speaker 1: you saying couple of spirituals? Why you make me mad.

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Speaker 1: Now you're in't here now my ex husband has moved

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Speaker 1: on and he says he's happy enough. Yes, he's happy.

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Speaker 1: You at the house, Joe, glad you here? What you're watching?

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Speaker 1: I want to watch TV with you. I'm watching the game?

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Speaker 1: What's on? What kind of game? So nobody won't all

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Speaker 1: that head's golf to the day, All right, Steve, boost

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Speaker 1: your comments on today's con Roger Mule down to the

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Speaker 1: tile on Instagram and stop pushing brothy car take a

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Speaker 1: wheel bowl in there. Don't forget to check out the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on to me. Oh we wanted fol potatoes,

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Speaker 1: I got the bode hold back. Oh boy. Now coming

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Speaker 1: up at forty six minutes after the hour, some really

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Speaker 1: really sad news. I hate to hear this guy's Alabama

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Speaker 1: Death Row inmate, Nathaniel Woods has been put to death.

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Speaker 1: We'll talk about it right after this really sad you're

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Speaker 1: listening to morning show