Speaker 1: Welcome to a special episode of Serving Pancakes with League
Speaker 1: One Volleyball. I'm your host, Tiffany Oshinsky. May is Mental
Speaker 1: Health Awareness Month, and so I'm excited to have Victoria
Speaker 1: Garrick Brown as my guest today to talk about the
Speaker 1: importance of mental health. Victoria is a Forbes thirty Under
Speaker 1: Thirty honoree, TEDx Talk speaker, mental health advocate, podcast host,
Speaker 1: and a former Division one volleyball player who has amassed
Speaker 1: over two million followers across social media, where she's known
Speaker 1: for her unfiltered campaign hashtag real Post. Victoria was a
Speaker 1: four year starter and PAC twelve champion for the University
Speaker 1: of Southern California, where she finished her career with the
Speaker 1: top five most digs in program history. When she was
Speaker 1: a sophomore at USC, she shared her story of battling
Speaker 1: and overcoming depression and anxiety in a twenty seventeen teed
Speaker 1: X Talk, which has led her on this journey destigmatizing
Speaker 1: the conversation around mental health and encouraging people to be
Speaker 1: their unfiltered selves through her non profit, The Hidden Opponent. Victoria,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining me on Serving Pancakes.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Tiffany I'm so happy to be here, and
Speaker 2: I'm just excited.
Speaker 1: To chat with you, very excited to chat with you
Speaker 1: because this is such an important topic. Mental health is
Speaker 1: an important topic that you know, as you have learned
Speaker 1: and you have talked about, is sometimes you know, stigmatized
Speaker 1: as something that we can't talk about, that people are
Speaker 1: afraid to talk about. So I actually want to start
Speaker 1: this conversation at your twenty seventeen TED X talk because
Speaker 1: I feel like that is kind of where this journey
Speaker 1: that you've that you're now on kind of began. It's
Speaker 1: where I feel like you're willing to all of a
Speaker 1: sudden open yourself up and share your thoughts and everything
Speaker 1: that's going on with your own personal mental health struggles.
Speaker 1: So talk to me about the lead up to this
Speaker 1: TED talk. What made you decide to do this?
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, And you're right, like that was the domino.
Speaker 3: That changed the trajectory of my life.
Speaker 2: It's crazy that you just never know, like how something
Speaker 2: is gonna affect your future. And I never sought out
Speaker 2: to be a mental health advocate. I never thought I
Speaker 2: would found a charity Like these were not things when
Speaker 2: I went to college, I was like, that's what I'm
Speaker 2: gonna be doing. I kind of thought I would be
Speaker 2: a sports broadcaster because I liked media and I liked
Speaker 2: being in front of the camera and I loved sports.
Speaker 2: But I didn't really know and so as far as like,
Speaker 2: how did I end up there if that wasn't the plan?
Speaker 2: And I'm very type A. I always have a plan,
Speaker 2: and I think a lot of elite athletes and follyball
Speaker 2: players people who might listen to this podcast are similar,
Speaker 2: Like you want to make the ones team next year,
Speaker 2: then you want to get recruited to the same then
Speaker 2: you want to be this position, and then this girl's
Speaker 2: gonna graduate so you can step into the starting spot.
Speaker 3: Like we always have a.
Speaker 2: Plan, right, So I think I just felt like when
Speaker 2: I got to playing Division and volleyball USC while it
Speaker 2: wasn't dream come true and I would do it ten
Speaker 2: out of ten times, again, I'm so grateful for my experience.
Speaker 2: It was a lot more challenging than I have ever
Speaker 2: imagined nor was.
Speaker 3: I prepared to face.
Speaker 2: So I just started to really struggle with performance anxiety,
Speaker 2: and you know when I wasn't able to figure out
Speaker 2: how to cope with that, getting really nervous before games,
Speaker 2: and just feeling like I was losing control.
Speaker 3: Of like my mind and my confidence.
Speaker 2: I didn't have the words for it because I didn't think,
Speaker 2: you know, I could have been struggling with mental health issue.
Speaker 2: And then I also thought that it was so stigmatized
Speaker 2: that I didn't want anyone to know because I wanted
Speaker 2: my teammates to trust me on the court. I wanted
Speaker 2: my coach to keep playing me in the games. So
Speaker 2: you know, I kept that to myself. And then because
Speaker 2: I was suppressing my anxiety and not dealing with those
Speaker 2: emotions that expedited might fall into a depressive episode my
Speaker 2: sophomore year, and I just ended up getting to a
Speaker 2: place where I was so low that I couldn't ignore
Speaker 2: the struggle that I was in. And then once I
Speaker 2: sought the help and I was going to a therapist,
Speaker 2: and I was learning more about the fact that, hey,
Speaker 2: I'm in a really high pressure environment. You're probably going
Speaker 2: to crack at some point or break under the pressure.
Speaker 2: And that's okay, a lot of people do. But here's
Speaker 2: how we recover, right, Like, I started to put those
Speaker 2: pieces together and feel less ashamed of what I was
Speaker 2: going through. And so once I got to that point
Speaker 2: that coupled with my like traditionally outgoing personality and like
Speaker 2: I said, desire to be in media and write, and
Speaker 2: I was studying journalism, I was like, we need to
Speaker 2: talk about this story. So that was like something in
Speaker 2: the back of my mind, you know, as I would
Speaker 2: go to Annenberg and I would report on, you know,
Speaker 2: our little news segment about what was happening with the
Speaker 2: USC sports teams. But then I would think, this feels
Speaker 2: like it doesn't matter, Like we need to go to
Speaker 2: an athlete, grab their shoulders and say are you okay?
Speaker 3: Like how are you feeling?
Speaker 2: Forget about the game, forget about the points, like how
Speaker 2: are you as a human being?
Speaker 3: You know, That's what I was caring the most about.
Speaker 2: And so as far as the TEDx talk, I was
Speaker 2: sitting in a class on a Wednesday night and I
Speaker 2: saw an email come through with the subject line I
Speaker 2: say this all the time.
Speaker 3: I don't know if.
Speaker 2: I've made it up over the years or it's just
Speaker 2: I don't know if I've made it up over the
Speaker 2: years because it's what it felt like to me, or
Speaker 2: if it's what it really said. I think it's what
Speaker 2: it really said, but I swear it said like, once
Speaker 2: in a lifetime opportunity like ted X talk at USC
Speaker 2: So immediately I was like, I'm zoning out of this lecture.
Speaker 2: I'm copy and pasting the diary notes I've been writing
Speaker 2: in my phone about these crazy days and all my
Speaker 2: emotions and my feels, and I'm applying. And I got
Speaker 2: called back, and I went through the process and I
Speaker 2: actually got cut. At one point they were like, there's
Speaker 2: too many teed X talks on mental health already, and
Speaker 2: this was twenty seventeen. There were probably three. I mean that,
Speaker 2: don't backcheck me on that, because I'm sure there were more,
Speaker 2: and there are many amazing people who were like, you know,
Speaker 2: paving the way for these conversations.
Speaker 3: But I was like, come on now, like I've literally.
Speaker 2: Googled athlete mental health and really felt like I found
Speaker 2: nothing on the internet.
Speaker 3: Imagine that, like so much has changed.
Speaker 2: So then when I did get like called back at
Speaker 2: the last minute, actually, we do want to see you
Speaker 2: one more time. I remember going in and being like
Speaker 2: looking all of them dead in the eye and saying,
Speaker 2: I don't know who you're interviewing and auditioning. I don't
Speaker 2: know what their story is. I'm sure it's lovely. I
Speaker 2: promise you that we need to talk about this. There's
Speaker 2: a massive epidemic of an athlete mental health crisis. No
Speaker 2: one's talking about it. And whether I scared them into
Speaker 2: it or they bought my elevator pitch, they chose me
Speaker 2: as one of the speakers. So I got to work
Speaker 2: on write that deliver that ted X talk and had
Speaker 2: no foresight that I would ever speak again publicly, or
Speaker 2: that I would make, you know, lead me to become
Speaker 2: this content creator, and that now I would have this
Speaker 2: podcast in this like I never thought that. I just
Speaker 2: got on that stage and was like, I hope this
Speaker 2: helped someone. And I think the more of the story
Speaker 2: there is like if you get to a place in
Speaker 2: your life where you're so passionate about something and something
Speaker 2: means so much to you, and every part of your
Speaker 2: body is like this is what is important to me,
Speaker 2: Listen to your intuition because you just never know where
Speaker 2: it will lead you. And the last thing I'll say, Tiffany,
Speaker 2: I'm literally been speaking for so long before I'll keep
Speaker 2: going great.
Speaker 3: I love this because this is the League one Volleyball podcast.
Speaker 3: I need to say this.
Speaker 2: You know, I was really genuinely, like, I just hope
Speaker 2: this helps an athlete out there who's also crying at night,
Speaker 2: depressed and looking up athlete mental health on YouTube, like,
Speaker 2: I hope they find this and.
Speaker 3: They feel seen. And literally, I don't know.
Speaker 2: It was so this tedex talk, I believe came out
Speaker 2: in like the spring, so it was the next fall.
Speaker 2: We were playing Kentucky in the preseason and we finished
Speaker 2: the game and we were like, good game, good game,
Speaker 2: good game, and this one girl is like, good game,
Speaker 2: good game.
Speaker 1: I loved her.
Speaker 3: Good game, good game, good game.
Speaker 2: And I was like and that was like one of
Speaker 2: those moments where I thought, Wow, you know, it's gotten
Speaker 2: to this this person I scouted and I'm playing against
Speaker 2: and we feel so different but we're the same.
Speaker 3: So I'll stop. I'll stop there and let you do
Speaker 3: your job.
Speaker 1: No, but this is why you're on is to talk
Speaker 1: about this and for us to learn, because I feel
Speaker 1: like there's so much that went into the not just
Speaker 1: the preparation to do it, but I mean everything that
Speaker 1: you went through right to eventually get to having to
Speaker 1: do this Ted talk and understanding that this was something
Speaker 1: that was needed, and you know in your talks being
Speaker 1: of things that were needed.
Speaker 4: I feel like, you know, there's that question where people
Speaker 4: are just like, why don't you quit? Like, if this
Speaker 4: is really that big of an issue for you, why
Speaker 4: don't you quit? That's just a question that I feel
Speaker 4: like is the next follow up after you're talking about
Speaker 4: all these hardships that you're going through, and it's like,
Speaker 4: I mean, I listen to your answer, but you know,
Speaker 4: I didn't end up playing in college.
Speaker 1: I ended up going to film school. But I can
Speaker 1: I can see you know, at some point being like,
Speaker 1: but this is who I am, right, So can you
Speaker 1: just for the listeners of this podcast, you haven't heard
Speaker 1: your to talk explain why you didn't quit and why
Speaker 1: you kept pursuing.
Speaker 3: I have not thought about this in probably years.
Speaker 2: So I love that you asked this because it's like
Speaker 2: bringing me back and it's making me chuckle a little bit,
Speaker 2: because I will find myself looking at someone else's circumstance
Speaker 2: or situation and thinking, just break up with them, just transport.
Speaker 3: Just quit your job, just apply to the new.
Speaker 2: Like it's so easy to look at someone's situation and
Speaker 2: think it would be the solution is to, you know,
Speaker 2: do something so drastic. But as we all know, we've
Speaker 2: all been in these places when something has been a
Speaker 2: part of your life for so long, you love it
Speaker 2: so much, you focus on Like I said at the
Speaker 2: top of the show, I would do it ten out
Speaker 2: of ten times, and without a doubt it was the most.
Speaker 3: I It's mental health month, so let's be real.
Speaker 2: I've never I got to a place where I was questioning,
Speaker 2: like if I wanted to to live my life. I've
Speaker 2: never I've had struggles since, and I feel like I've
Speaker 2: I've been through some things that have been really hard
Speaker 2: post school, but I've never gotten to a place with
Speaker 2: my thoughts where I've questioned, you know, do I want
Speaker 2: to be here? And so it's like, but then I'm
Speaker 2: saying I would go back and do it to Noay
Speaker 2: at ten times because it brought me here, you know.
Speaker 3: So it's like, why didn't I quit?
Speaker 2: I mean because I honestly didn't even know if I
Speaker 2: would be happier without it, Like I wanted to figure
Speaker 2: out how to make this thing work. Of course, there
Speaker 2: were times my mom came to an away game and
Speaker 2: she saw me white as a ghost, looking I had
Speaker 2: all these stress pimples on my face. All I did
Speaker 2: was sleep. All I did was cry, and she was like,
Speaker 2: that's it. I'm knocking on the coach's door. I'm taking
Speaker 2: you off the team. And I'm like, no, you can't,
Speaker 2: like we have a game tomorrow, or like I don't
Speaker 2: want to like you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: So it was just it that just also didn't feel right.
Speaker 2: I guess I felt stuck, and I love to volleyball
Speaker 2: so much that I wanted to figure out how to
Speaker 2: make it work. And I was able to do that
Speaker 2: by going to therapy once a week, getting on antidepressants,
Speaker 2: opening up about my struggle so that I didn't feel
Speaker 2: so much shame and I didn't feel so alone. And
Speaker 2: I even took a brief mental health leave after my
Speaker 2: junior season for a couple months and then returned to
Speaker 2: play my senior season. So and then my senior season,
Speaker 2: I did feel like I had the tools. I still
Speaker 2: struggled and I had anxiety at points and whatnot, but
Speaker 2: I was happier because I had a toolbox.
Speaker 1: You know, going back to volleyball kind of being your identity. Actually,
Speaker 1: I want to go like way back, because you know,
Speaker 1: it took a lot of hours and a lot of
Speaker 1: time to get to play in college, especially usc which
Speaker 1: is one of the best teams in the country. So
Speaker 1: I want to go back to young, young Victoria and
Speaker 1: tell me how you first fell in love with the
Speaker 1: sport and and it was fun when there was no
Speaker 1: anxiety or depression. Tell me how you fell in love
Speaker 1: with the sport and what made you realize that this
Speaker 1: was going to be part of your identity.
Speaker 2: I just get this visual of my middle school gym,
Speaker 2: and I know, like we had a whole border down
Speaker 2: and we were on the right side of the core
Speaker 2: and we were playing volleyball. I think it like pe
Speaker 2: And I just had a really natural standing topspin, which
Speaker 2: is so funny for volleyball players, a standing topspin, where
Speaker 2: do you ever.
Speaker 3: No one serves that way.
Speaker 2: It's like the easiest thing, But when you're in seventh
Speaker 2: grade and you're whipping out a spinner, like pass it.
Speaker 3: And so I just had a natural take to the game.
Speaker 3: I loved sports growing up.
Speaker 2: I played pretty much everything, so when it came to
Speaker 2: like choosing a sport, and I guess my older brother
Speaker 2: was a professional golfer and he golfed at UCLA, so
Speaker 2: I guess I had always looked at him as someone
Speaker 2: who took sports very seriously and he kept playing, and
Speaker 2: I always thought like, I'm going to play sports.
Speaker 3: You know, as long as I can. And so it
Speaker 3: was a teammate.
Speaker 2: It was a classmate's mom who went to my mom
Speaker 2: and said, oh, your daughter's really good. She should join
Speaker 2: my daughter's club team. And we were like, what's club?
Speaker 2: And then my mom was like, do you want to
Speaker 2: do this? And I was like sure, and so, like
Speaker 2: I had said before, I signed up. And then I
Speaker 2: was like, oh my gosh, I'm on the twos team.
Speaker 2: I want to make the ones team. Okay, this is
Speaker 2: the coach, like, you know, this is the girl. I
Speaker 2: have to be better then to make the team freshman year,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. And so I just kind
Speaker 2: of got enthralled by the sport. And before I knew it,
Speaker 2: I was like, I haven't played soccer in three years.
Speaker 2: You know, it was natural. It just was the sport
Speaker 2: that I guess won my heart in a sense.
Speaker 1: Did you ever feel a sense of burnout in the
Speaker 1: lead up to playing in college? Because yeah, I told
Speaker 1: you this before we started recording, But I played, you know,
Speaker 1: club ball. I was very competitive. My dream was to
Speaker 1: play at Penn State. I you know, wasn't recruited for
Speaker 1: a scholarship, but I did everything possible that I could
Speaker 1: to go to Penn State. I went to all the
Speaker 1: summer camps. I meet a business card when I was
Speaker 1: thirteen and gave it to coach trust Rows at like
Speaker 1: one of those camps. You know, I did everything. But
Speaker 1: then when I was a junior in high school, kind
Speaker 1: of similar to your junior year college, you know, I
Speaker 1: remember driving to like a practice and I was just
Speaker 1: miserable all the way down. And when I got to practice,
Speaker 1: I sat on the sideline and I just cried because
Speaker 1: I knew that I loved the sport, but I had
Speaker 1: kind of lost the love for it in a way,
Speaker 1: and and there was this, you know, sense of burnout.
Speaker 1: So did you ever feel that when you were playing
Speaker 1: and growing up, was there any sort of premonition that
Speaker 1: maybe came to your mind that like that is a
Speaker 1: mental health issue. Because when I was sixteen and this happened,
Speaker 1: I had no idea that this was a mental health thing.
Speaker 3: It's me.
Speaker 1: It was just like, you know, I've got to suck
Speaker 1: it up, but I'm going to sit it out this
Speaker 1: practice and I'll decide what I'm going to do eventually.
Speaker 1: But you know, has have you ever felt anything like that?
Speaker 3: I didn't before college.
Speaker 2: What you described sound similar to like what I went
Speaker 2: through my freshman year of college. But prior to that,
Speaker 2: I mean, practice days were my favorite. I was always
Speaker 2: the one that was like in early out late, wanting
Speaker 2: to play more. I loved the tournaments, but granted I
Speaker 2: had a lot of confidence. I was one of the
Speaker 2: best players on the ones team at the time, you know,
Speaker 2: we were going to Jo's, Like, I loved our rhythm.
Speaker 2: One of my best friends was on the team, like
Speaker 2: it just was so great, and I, yeah, I just
Speaker 2: I didn't have a thought of like sometimes I guess
Speaker 2: maybe if like you know, we were at high school
Speaker 2: and your crush came to watch you play, you know,
Speaker 2: I'd be like, why am I thinking so much about this?
Speaker 2: Or why am I one like how did my spike
Speaker 2: or whatever it was. So I definitely had Now that
Speaker 2: I look back, I can recognize moments of like where
Speaker 2: I was probably starting to see I had the potential
Speaker 2: to like really overthink or have anxiety while I was playing.
Speaker 3: But never enough that it ever spooked me.
Speaker 2: And actually my first in at USC, I brought that
Speaker 2: energy in, like I was so excited for double days,
Speaker 2: I mean the seniors. That was like the joke, you
Speaker 2: know that, Like I just wanted to play and we
Speaker 2: had two practices a day. It was like my dream
Speaker 2: come true, you know. So then it was like the
Speaker 2: stark contrast of that to then a few months later
Speaker 2: feeling like my eyes, I'm about to cry before we
Speaker 2: go out to the court because I'm so scared that
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get served and.
Speaker 3: I'm going to get asd like.
Speaker 2: So that was why it was I think so jarring
Speaker 2: for me is because I started to then be like
Speaker 2: I don't even like who am I? Like, this is
Speaker 2: so not me? And then you start to get upset
Speaker 2: with yourself and you're like come on, like you know,
Speaker 2: and then you just continue to spiral.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can see that now. You said that when
Speaker 1: you got to UFC, you were super excited, super happy.
Speaker 1: You were one of the girls that came out there
Speaker 1: and gave your you know, a game every single time.
Speaker 1: But what was the moment do you remember the moment
Speaker 1: where you realize that something wasn't right.
Speaker 2: When I think about this time in my life, there's
Speaker 2: like moments that I remember vividly. There's things I don't remember,
Speaker 2: like as just like don't have a great memory. My
Speaker 2: friends and I always joke my best friend offvery We'll
Speaker 2: be like, remember when you said this thing and were
Speaker 2: this thing and we were in third grade and I'm
Speaker 2: like no, I'm like, what do we even do this
Speaker 2: past weekend?
Speaker 3: Like that's where my brain is. But something that.
Speaker 2: Pops into my head is like a practice we had
Speaker 2: where we were scrimmaging my freshman year. We were the
Speaker 2: number one team in the country. We were undefeated, I
Speaker 2: was starting, we had the national player of the year.
Speaker 2: Like the stakes were high, and it was a scrimmage
Speaker 2: and my side won the point, and like I thought
Speaker 2: that was good. But then the whistle blew and you know,
Speaker 2: the coach called us together or either came to me.
Speaker 2: I forget, but like I basically got called out for
Speaker 2: doing the wrong footwork, like on defense, like I made
Speaker 2: the wrong read. And I think for me in that moment,
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my gosh, we won the point.
Speaker 2: I didn't even touch the ball and I made a mistake.
Speaker 2: And like, because I'm so type a perfectionist, like care
Speaker 2: so much, I think I then started thinking, oh my god,
Speaker 2: like even if I don't touch though, even if we
Speaker 2: win the point and we win the game, I still
Speaker 2: could be like making mistakes. So I think that was
Speaker 2: a moment for me where I really felt like, like
Speaker 2: everything I do has to be flawless and this is
Speaker 2: a whole different ballgame than club. And I will say like,
Speaker 2: I think that I was mentally susceptible to have this
Speaker 2: reaction to pressure. I don't look back and think someone
Speaker 2: caused this for me. You know, it would be really
Speaker 2: cool if I could have a play a month of
Speaker 2: my freshman year, knowing what I know now and try
Speaker 2: to use my coping mechanisms and breath work and journaling
Speaker 2: and confidence stuff like I would love to try it.
Speaker 3: I was just eighteen, I was young.
Speaker 2: I had never worked on anything on the mental mindset
Speaker 2: side of the game, and it was a very high
Speaker 2: pressure environment and something with my personality and that chemistry mix.
Speaker 3: This was the reaction.
Speaker 2: So I just like to say that because I don't
Speaker 2: look back like thinking, you know, I bet it could
Speaker 2: have played out this way at another school, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean there's a lot of athletes, especially you
Speaker 1: see now, a lot of athletes are starting to come
Speaker 1: forward and talk about their own mental health struggles and
Speaker 1: it has nothing to do with you know. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's kind of one of those just situations where maybe
Speaker 1: thought that this was the right place, but there's just
Speaker 1: external factors that made it not feel right or just
Speaker 1: you know, you you thought you mesh but with the
Speaker 1: coach or the players, but it's not actually right, and
Speaker 1: you need to find how your brain works right and
Speaker 1: how you know how to handle yourself and cope with
Speaker 1: what needs to be you know, cope with how you
Speaker 1: can handle the situation better. Right. I feel like a
Speaker 1: lot of players. That's why the transfer portal is a thing, right,
Speaker 1: and players can transfer two teams that they think that
Speaker 1: they can actually mentally help themselves a little bit better.
Speaker 1: But I mean, speaking of just players in general, did
Speaker 1: you ever talk to your teammates about this, Like when
Speaker 1: you got there, was this something that your teammates also
Speaker 1: dealt with and talked about or was it something you
Speaker 1: kept private and then went to a therapist on your
Speaker 1: own or did the team help you.
Speaker 2: I definitely had a teammate connect me initially with a
Speaker 2: therapist at the health center, which was super helpful. For
Speaker 2: me because they gave me that confidence of oh, if
Speaker 2: she's going, that means I can go. And she was
Speaker 2: older than me and we were in the same position,
Speaker 2: and I just felt like seen that she related to
Speaker 2: the stress and was like, and I also do something
Speaker 2: to help me with it. So that was like my
Speaker 2: first kind of crack crack in a good way where
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, my gosh, okay, I'm not the
Speaker 2: only one. And then it's funny because as I think
Speaker 2: about my upper classmen years, the conversation on mental health
Speaker 2: was so present and like, I think so much changed
Speaker 2: over the from twenty fifteen to twenty nineteen when it
Speaker 2: comes to the mental health conversation, and then we ran
Speaker 2: into twenty twenty, Like, you know, I noticed it in
Speaker 2: just my time.
Speaker 3: There where almost to a fault.
Speaker 2: We were joking about being depressed and being down and
Speaker 2: down bad and sad, you know, So I think I
Speaker 2: saw I saw it go both ways.
Speaker 1: Hey, serving pancakes listeners, Tiffany here with a quick shout
Speaker 1: out from our friends at Adidas. We're in the final
Speaker 1: weeks of our Love Pro season, which means it's your
Speaker 1: final chance to grab the limited edition inaugural season player jerseys.
Speaker 1: Show your support for your favorite players now at Adidas
Speaker 1: dot Com slash US Slash Love. That's Adidas dot Com
Speaker 1: slash Us slash l O VB. Hurry. These things are
Speaker 1: going fast and once they're gone, they're gone. Don't miss
Speaker 1: out on your chance to be part of history. Well,
Speaker 1: I feel like another thing that you know. I'm older
Speaker 1: than you, So my generation didn't grow up with social media.
Speaker 1: I didn't have to worry about scrolling through people and seeing,
Speaker 1: you know, what they're doing on spring break, or what
Speaker 1: their bodies look like, or if my post didn't get
Speaker 1: a hundred likes compared to somebody else's. Like, I didn't
Speaker 1: have to deal with that. But you've talked about social
Speaker 1: media and how that can really hinder and hurt your
Speaker 1: mental health. So can you just talk about that. You know,
Speaker 1: your perspective on social media and what it can do
Speaker 1: to people, especially student athletes.
Speaker 2: Definitely, you know there's so much comparison on the Internet.
Speaker 2: It's so hard not to I'm guilty of it.
Speaker 3: Still.
Speaker 2: Now we're humans, we're constantly scanning our environment for threats
Speaker 2: to make.
Speaker 3: Sure that we're going to be okay, we're going to
Speaker 3: be liked and accepted.
Speaker 2: It literally goes back to our ancestors who would wake
Speaker 2: up and think, I hope the tribe didn't leave without me,
Speaker 2: Like I hope I'm hunting enough and I'm gathering enough,
Speaker 2: and I am you know what I mean. It's like
Speaker 2: in our blood to scan and make sure we're safe
Speaker 2: in a million ways, and it can come up in
Speaker 2: the most surface level way of like am I as popular?
Speaker 2: Am I as pretty?
Speaker 3: Am I?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: All these things.
Speaker 2: So when I was going through I guess, this huge
Speaker 2: dip in my life, it felt like with my mental health,
Speaker 2: I started to just kind of question and think about everything,
Speaker 2: and I realized that social media was contributing to this
Speaker 2: narrative I had that everything had to be okay all
Speaker 2: the time, and it was really just starting to not
Speaker 2: edit my photos and not care so much about getting
Speaker 2: the photo and being more real about what I was doing,
Speaker 2: how I was feeling my thoughts. That started another small,
Speaker 2: little like trickle effect with I guess how my Instagram
Speaker 2: has grown over the years, because it definitely went from
Speaker 2: like what I thought was me, you know, presenting picture perfect,
Speaker 2: to then getting like not really making sense and being
Speaker 2: a little more I don't want to say weird, but
Speaker 2: to what was people posted a little weird and then
Speaker 2: started to feel empowered once the ted x talk was
Speaker 2: you know, I was getting messages and emails and feeling
Speaker 2: really comforted that I realized there was more to share.
Speaker 3: So then I continued to do that on the internet.
Speaker 3: And I still do that to this day.
Speaker 2: You know, I really try. If I'm not having a
Speaker 2: good day, I don't maybe always have to say, hey guys,
Speaker 2: this is exactly what happened, but I'll say not not
Speaker 2: having the best day because I just want people on
Speaker 2: social media to know everyone's not always happy, everyone's going
Speaker 2: through things, and I like to, you know, have a
Speaker 2: trust with anyone who follows me in the community that like,
Speaker 2: you're never going to see anything filtered. I don't even
Speaker 2: swipe right to Paris on my story, which that's hard.
Speaker 2: It's hard some days, but I never do it, you know.
Speaker 2: I'm just like, I would like you to know this
Speaker 2: corner of the Internet, you're gonna see real content and
Speaker 2: real emotions.
Speaker 1: That's where the hashtag real post came from. Mm hmm, yeah,
Speaker 1: I like that a lot. I feel like there's, yeah,
Speaker 1: this veil of fakeness that a lot of people put
Speaker 1: on themselves when it comes to social media that they
Speaker 1: want to make sure that they look the best and
Speaker 1: all that, and like you said, everyone is susceptible to that.
Speaker 1: Everyone goes through that. It's kind of like, how can
Speaker 1: you get past that and allow yourself to be your
Speaker 1: true self on social media and show who you really are?
Speaker 1: Ups and downs? But obviously everyone wants to see the.
Speaker 2: Ups right now, And it's like, I want everyone to
Speaker 2: know there will be people who will like you, love you,
Speaker 2: except you for you just being you. And I think
Speaker 2: the biggest thing that we all crave is connection. We
Speaker 2: want to connect with other human beings and feel seen.
Speaker 2: And the only way that we actually if that's what
Speaker 2: we want, how do we get there? You don't get
Speaker 2: there by saying oh, I was the valedictorian and my
Speaker 2: kids are perfect and my life is perfect.
Speaker 3: You don't relate to anyone.
Speaker 2: You get there by saying, oh, my god, today really sucked.
Speaker 2: I just felt so stressed and like none of my
Speaker 2: friends are showing up for me. And then someone might
Speaker 2: say we I feel the same way. I'm so glad
Speaker 2: you told me, you know you. The only way we
Speaker 2: grow deeper in connection is through vulnerability, So I, you know,
Speaker 2: think it's important to remember that as we think about
Speaker 2: how we show up in the world and online.
Speaker 1: So after your ted X talk, what happened? I mean,
Speaker 1: talk to me about the response that you got from
Speaker 1: people who watched it, from your teammates, from your family friends.
Speaker 1: What was that response?
Speaker 3: Like, I definitely felt so much support.
Speaker 2: My parents were there when I gave it, so was
Speaker 2: my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, and
Speaker 2: two of my teammates came and my best friend was there,
Speaker 2: and I felt really supported. I think I was just
Speaker 2: also sort of blown away by how many people related
Speaker 2: to it. I knew that the message served a purpose.
Speaker 2: I think I didn't process like how big it could
Speaker 2: actually grow. And I think the Hidden Opponent nonprofit is
Speaker 2: a huge testament to that. You know, it's titled after
Speaker 2: the tedex talk. And now we have a community where
Speaker 2: you know, there's a campus captain, so a student athlete
Speaker 2: ambassador in all fifty states, and I mean that's just
Speaker 2: incredible that now we have this like national presence of
Speaker 2: this next generation of advocates and student athletes who are
Speaker 2: out there right now, they're playing right now, they're graduating
Speaker 2: right now, they're being recruited right now, and we can
Speaker 2: hear about you know, their unique struggles tools how they're
Speaker 2: overcoming their mental health issues and also arming them with
Speaker 2: like accessible resources and education. So you know, I was
Speaker 2: blown away by the initial response and I'm still like
Speaker 2: pinching myself today as the Hidden Opponent nonprofit continues.
Speaker 3: To live on and grow this amazing community.
Speaker 2: And for Mental Health Awareness Month, obviously this month, we
Speaker 2: collaborated with Adidas on an ultraboose sneaker and some T
Speaker 2: shirts and some shoes, and so it's it's insane, it's
Speaker 2: so cool, and it wouldn't be possible if it weren't
Speaker 2: for all of the other people who were like me too,
Speaker 2: been there.
Speaker 3: I want to help, I want to be a voice.
Speaker 3: So I'm still in disbelief. Tiffany, It's amazing what you've built.
Speaker 1: And you know, like we said, it started from this
Speaker 1: this ted X talk where you were vulnerable and willing
Speaker 1: to show what was happening inside you. So we mentioned
Speaker 1: this briefly, but you know, we talked about how mental
Speaker 1: health and athletes are starting to be more vulnerable with
Speaker 1: their mental health. I've been you know, reading tons of
Speaker 1: stories about athletes at all levels, high school, college, pro
Speaker 1: who have come forward with their own struggles and their
Speaker 1: own anxieties and depression and how they've overcome it. But
Speaker 1: I'm curious because in your talk you mentioned how you
Speaker 1: were hoping that you know that this would the conversation
Speaker 1: would grow. So do you think that it's grown enough
Speaker 1: or do you think that there's still more work to do.
Speaker 3: I think it's grown astronomically.
Speaker 2: It's been so awesome to see I, even though I'm
Speaker 2: not actively playing sports anymore, to see like Simone Biles
Speaker 2: transparency at the past Olympic Games, and to see so
Speaker 2: many athletes talking about this. I feel like the mental
Speaker 2: health conversation has definitely become more of a common currency.
Speaker 3: And I think topic just in all gyms and on
Speaker 3: all teams.
Speaker 2: Have we followed that up with Have we followed that
Speaker 2: up with adequate resources and accessibility to those resources? Now,
Speaker 2: you know, it varies at the levels. If you go
Speaker 2: to a Division one campus like me, they could send
Speaker 2: an email and get seen that week, and then some
Speaker 2: of the Division two, Division three schools that I've visited
Speaker 2: and spoken to, they might need to wait a month
Speaker 2: or two and Unfortunately that might just be too long.
Speaker 2: People want to be seen and they need help now,
Speaker 2: and I obviously know that that's a greater issue that
Speaker 2: a lot of people are experiencing, whether you're a student
Speaker 2: athlete or not. So I think the conversation and the
Speaker 2: destigmatization of the issue has gotten to a very impressive place.
Speaker 2: And I think now something you know we're focusing on
Speaker 2: the an opponent is how can we bring those accessible
Speaker 2: resources to the same standard.
Speaker 1: Since you've been traveling around the country and all over
Speaker 1: discussing the hidden opponent and helping other student athletes, what
Speaker 1: have you found is kind of the biggest issue that
Speaker 1: a lot of them are still facing.
Speaker 2: Well, I feel like there's added pressure with this whole
Speaker 2: nil situation is very unique, and now a student athlete
Speaker 2: might have an agent, or they might be trying to
Speaker 2: build their brand, or they might now be needing to
Speaker 2: send money back home. I just think there's a bunch
Speaker 2: of additional and unique pressures that were still figuring out
Speaker 2: what the norm's going to be and how things are
Speaker 2: going to function in this new system. So I feel like,
Speaker 2: you know, of course still seeing student athletes who are
Speaker 2: struggling with the same pressures of just being away from home,
Speaker 2: managing the really intense demands of the schedule and school
Speaker 2: and training and lifting and traveling and competing, and now
Speaker 2: with nil, I mean, it's a whole other part of
Speaker 2: the mix.
Speaker 3: So I would say that's been the unique one that
Speaker 3: I've seen come up more.
Speaker 2: And when I was playing and doing YouTube and building
Speaker 2: my accounts, I mean, I had very strict rules to follow,
Speaker 2: So I can't even imagine what would have happened in
Speaker 2: my brain if I thought that, like I, you know,
Speaker 2: I if I could have started a business at the
Speaker 2: same time I had to wait to do that, you.
Speaker 1: Know, for sure? Do you see with like these student
Speaker 1: athletes coming in and the one let's actually go back
Speaker 1: to like high schoolers, you know, and this demanding schedule
Speaker 1: that they're about to embark on when they do go
Speaker 1: to college, do you see a path for them or
Speaker 1: a way for them to fully understand what they're about
Speaker 1: to get themselves into when they get to college or
Speaker 1: is it still kind of one of those it's a
Speaker 1: live and learn situation.
Speaker 2: I think, like anything, you won't really know until you
Speaker 2: get there and you're actually in it and experiencing it.
Speaker 2: So what I think I would recommend is to ensure
Speaker 2: that you have the support system around you, like almost
Speaker 2: like this backup net to catch you if you do
Speaker 2: feel really overwhelmed, if you do feel.
Speaker 3: Really anxious or spread thin or burned out.
Speaker 2: So making sure that you know where you can go
Speaker 2: to get that help and support, I think is would
Speaker 2: be really great because then you don't have to figure
Speaker 2: it all out when you're already feeling like you're in
Speaker 2: a low situation. So I would just say, you know,
Speaker 2: being ready and prepared for like all all cases, but
Speaker 2: enjoy high school. You don't need to go make high
Speaker 2: school five times as difficult to make it less difficult
Speaker 2: when you get called like, enjoy it now and then
Speaker 2: trust that future you will figure it out and allow
Speaker 2: future you to seek the help if you need it.
Speaker 1: And now you also started along with the Hidden Opponent,
Speaker 1: you started a podcast, real pod, So talk to me
Speaker 1: about that. Why did you decide to also get into
Speaker 1: podcasting and you know, sharing your message that way as
Speaker 1: opposed to just kind of doing just the foundation the nonprofit.
Speaker 2: I love having deep chats with people, and how I
Speaker 2: described the kind of connection before about like getting real
Speaker 2: and getting.
Speaker 3: Vulnerable and Oh my gosh, you felt that way.
Speaker 2: So did I, and so I thought that the podcast
Speaker 2: would be a way to basically evolve what hashtag real
Speaker 2: Post was. So it literally was like, we're going to
Speaker 2: go from real Post to Real Pod, very simple name,
Speaker 2: and hopefully I'm going to sit down and interview other
Speaker 2: people who have something deep that they want to share
Speaker 2: that's not so glamorous about their journey, that's not the
Speaker 2: highlight reel. And so that was really the initial concept
Speaker 2: of the show, and I feel grateful that it's I
Speaker 2: think been five years and I've had some incredible conversations
Speaker 2: with people. If anyone listening is not familiar with my podcast,
Speaker 2: Real Pod, I recommend you start with an episode that
Speaker 2: came out a few weeks ago called This Will Change
Speaker 2: Your Life, a powerful conversation on Joy with Jeffrey Sod
Speaker 2: who's a cancer fighter.
Speaker 3: It's incredible.
Speaker 2: I know that that sounds like, oh my gosh, is
Speaker 2: it going to be deep and like really sad and scared.
Speaker 3: No, it's going to make you live your life to
Speaker 3: the fullest. I want everyone to listen to it, not
Speaker 3: for me, for him. I barely talk. You just have
Speaker 3: to hear Jeffrey sod story. But I mean, I feel so.
Speaker 2: Grateful that, yeah, we have a place where people feel
Speaker 2: comfortable to talk about what they're going through and listeners
Speaker 2: can know we're all trying to be the best version
Speaker 2: of ourselves and it's not always pretty.
Speaker 1: I love it. I was looking at your episode list
Speaker 1: and there were a few on there that I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I got to listen to that one and that one
Speaker 1: and that one. So I'm excited to dig into that. Well.
Speaker 1: I want to say thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 1: I also, before we wrap up this interview, I have
Speaker 1: two questions left, and the first one is just kind
Speaker 1: of an open ended question, which is just from the
Speaker 1: stuff that we've talked about, is there anything else that
Speaker 1: you want people to know, especially student athletes athletes in
Speaker 1: the pro levels, about mental health that is something important
Speaker 1: that they should be focused on for themselves, or something
Speaker 1: that you know they can take with them to try
Speaker 1: to grow and improve themselves.
Speaker 2: I mean, I would maybe just add that it's not
Speaker 2: a weakness to seek help from someone else or to
Speaker 2: struggle with your mental health. It's actually a strength to
Speaker 2: have the ability to say the difficult thing, ask the
Speaker 2: difficult question, admit that you need support navigating something.
Speaker 3: I think it's far harder and.
Speaker 2: Takes more strength to do that then it does two
Speaker 2: pretend everything's okay.
Speaker 3: So, as an.
Speaker 2: Athlete listening to this who always wants to be a
Speaker 2: high achiever and strong and all the things, I would
Speaker 2: encourage you to kind of if you need to flip
Speaker 2: that mindset a little bit and recognize that it actually
Speaker 2: is incredibly brave and takes a lot of strength to
Speaker 2: prioritize your mental.
Speaker 1: Health of that. And the last question I have, what
Speaker 1: is your relationship with volleyball today? And are you still playing?
Speaker 2: If my friends are playing in Santa Monica Beach and
Speaker 2: hit me up and I can go, I love to go.
Speaker 3: I tried to gather some old.
Speaker 2: Teammates and some local girls who played in the area
Speaker 2: to start a beach thing, but it's like everyone's so busy,
Speaker 2: and volleyball is hard because you need, like, you need
Speaker 2: at least like four people on.
Speaker 3: A side, You need a net, you need balls, you
Speaker 3: need to like you know what I mean. So it's
Speaker 3: been difficult.
Speaker 2: But anytime I get the opportunity to play, I usually
Speaker 2: take it. But I missed it a lot. I wish
Speaker 2: there were ways I could play more. I could go
Speaker 2: to practice two nights a week.
Speaker 3: I would do it. Someone invite me.
Speaker 2: I'm like, if, honestly, I wish there was a local
Speaker 2: I looked into this.
Speaker 3: I wish there was like a local like West.
Speaker 2: Side of LA like team and they needed me to
Speaker 2: just play in their practice, because like I would be there.
Speaker 3: But I don't think it is squad. That's amazing.
Speaker 1: I feel like you got a fine. I'm sure there's
Speaker 1: some sort of league. I mean, I'm on the East
Speaker 1: coast in Jersey, so we don't have like I mean,
Speaker 1: they're with Jersey Shore, but I don't live on the
Speaker 1: Jersey Shore, so I'm not near any beach courts. Plus
Speaker 1: you can only play beach a few months of the year.
Speaker 1: But I mean, I'm in an adult league beer league
Speaker 1: right now, and it's awesome and I get to play
Speaker 1: and still have fun and play with some amazing teammates
Speaker 1: and people that I've become friends with over the years,
Speaker 1: and it's like I still get my love, just get
Speaker 1: my love.
Speaker 3: That I was thinking that League one should have you guys.
Speaker 2: They should do like a celebrity game, like you know
Speaker 2: how like NBA All Stars They do like NBA players
Speaker 2: and they bring in like random people like I think
Speaker 2: that could be fun because like they're not that I'm
Speaker 2: a celebrity.
Speaker 3: At all, but it's volleyball and you'd need to be.
Speaker 2: Able to play well to scrimmage again, so it's like,
Speaker 2: could they bring in like former like known volleyball players
Speaker 2: from the NCUBA who don't play anymore?
Speaker 3: Could they bring in YouTubers creators.
Speaker 2: Like I don't know. I think that would be such
Speaker 2: a fun like media event and I would definitely be there.
Speaker 2: So I've had this.
Speaker 1: I pitched this idea to our our CMA.
Speaker 3: I mentioned.
Speaker 1: I was like, maybe next year we should do something
Speaker 1: like this, like a little celebrity No, you.
Speaker 3: Should do what It would be so much fun.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I really would love, love, love for that
Speaker 1: to happen, So we'll I'll make sure that we hit
Speaker 1: you up if that actually happens, if it comes to
Speaker 1: fruition to be included. By the way, speaking of celebrities
Speaker 1: who play volleyball, supposedly, when I was doing some research,
Speaker 1: supposedly Leonardo DiCaprio does beach volleyball every so often, so
Speaker 1: maybe you should keep an.
Speaker 3: Eye out for that. Really Okay, that's good to know.
Speaker 2: I suppose I don't think I sound too surprised that
Speaker 2: Leonardo's hanging around the beach volleyball goals.
Speaker 1: Well, suppose that he gets his buddies though it's not
Speaker 1: just like not just like some some people on the beach.
Speaker 1: It's like he gets his like other celebrity friends.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I could be completely wrong and that this could be
Speaker 1: just be like a random blog post that I read.
Speaker 2: I'll keep my eyes peeled at the beach and if
Speaker 2: he's there, I'll recruit him to the Celebrity League.
Speaker 3: One game.
Speaker 1: Yes done, I love it. Well, Victoria has been a
Speaker 1: pleasure speaking with you. Thank you so much, and I
Speaker 1: mean thank you for everything that you've done in your
Speaker 1: openness and being able to come forward with everything, because
Speaker 1: you have helped kick the door down for a lot
Speaker 1: of other people to you know, be who they are
Speaker 1: and to share who they are and to get better
Speaker 1: if they need help.
Speaker 2: So thank you so much, so much, Tiffany, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2: I really enjoyed your questions. Brought back some great memories,
Speaker 2: and thank you for having me and for your time.
Speaker 1: Special thanks to Victoria Garrick Brown. Thanks for listening to
Speaker 1: this special episode of Serving Pancakes.