Speaker 1: Yeah, and sometimes people are ship Sometimes that's also the case.
Speaker 2: Sometimes More Better, more Better, More.
Speaker 3: Better, More.
Speaker 4: Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we stop pretending
Speaker 4: to have it all together and embrace the journey of
Speaker 4: becoming a little more better every day.
Speaker 3: I mean we're trying to.
Speaker 1: That's Stephanie Beatrice. That's most of a marrow, and this
Speaker 1: is more Better.
Speaker 3: Welcome back. How are you?
Speaker 1: I'm on my second cup of coffee and I haven't
Speaker 1: had any water. Don't be like me, kids, but wow,
Speaker 1: I'm telling you as somebody that hasn't had alcohol for
Speaker 1: a while.
Speaker 3: Whoo whoo wow. Rolling in the deep baby, Yeah, she's cranking.
Speaker 3: How are you? I'm good. I'm just like baseline basic
Speaker 3: level good. Okay, I like that. Baseline's pretty good base.
Speaker 1: I mean, depending on where your baseline is, that's pretty good.
Speaker 1: It's a good baseline. It's a pretty good baseline.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Have you done anything lately that's a
Speaker 3: little more better? I have my more better. Yes. I
Speaker 3: bought new suitcases. That's I sprang for them.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I've been using the same suitcases for going
Speaker 1: on I think almost ten years, and they were good.
Speaker 3: They I feel like suitcases are an investment. Ten years
Speaker 3: is a good run.
Speaker 1: Ten years was a good run. It was a good run,
Speaker 1: you know. I was I was thinking to myself, I
Speaker 1: don't deserve this. I shouldn't get these. They're expensive, you know,
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to, you know, I don't want to,
Speaker 1: Like why am I doing this? My other ones work
Speaker 1: just fine, and like they do, they actually do work fine.
Speaker 1: So we're going to keep them for ras great as
Speaker 1: her suitcases because like she doesn't care, you know, But
Speaker 1: this way, I have stuff that, like when I'm traveling
Speaker 1: by myself that I can like lug around the airport
Speaker 1: and feel like put together and like the handle isn't
Speaker 1: kind of come off my suitcase whenever.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm traveling. So yeah, I did that for myself.
Speaker 3: I love that. Thanks. What about you? What have you
Speaker 3: done lately? That's more better? Nothing? Not a thing putting
Speaker 3: everyone ahead of me as for usual? Yeah, a little
Speaker 3: bit of that.
Speaker 1: No, Yeah, I got nothing, I got nothing. Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: you took care of yourself.
Speaker 2: The other night.
Speaker 1: I invited you to an in bed and you were like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go, And then you were like, I have
Speaker 1: a headache, I'm gonna stay home.
Speaker 3: You took care of yourself.
Speaker 4: I really like I, Oh, I went back and forth
Speaker 4: so much because you know, I took I took the advil,
Speaker 4: and you know when you take advil, you got a
Speaker 4: really bad headache and it like dulls the pain, but
Speaker 4: you still have like the pressure. Kind of that's what
Speaker 4: I had. And I was like trying to talk myself
Speaker 4: into like.
Speaker 3: Just just like put on an outfit and just.
Speaker 4: Like get there, and I bet when you get there,
Speaker 4: you'll feel better. You'll get like your little you know,
Speaker 4: boost from seeing your people and like your friend, and
Speaker 4: you'll have fun. I really wanted to see you because
Speaker 4: you're leaving soon. And then I just like I was
Speaker 4: like no, you know, I just I had to listen
Speaker 4: to myself that like little voice.
Speaker 3: In my head that was like, no, big this is
Speaker 3: gonna past episode.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this could really backfire on you and put you
Speaker 4: over the end and be bad. And then I said no,
Speaker 4: And then I ended up being right because yeah, I
Speaker 4: kind of it came back around and I went better early.
Speaker 1: And yeah, it was just you wouldn't have done that.
Speaker 1: Maybe five years ago you had been like I have
Speaker 1: to go to this event. So that's that's true of yourself.
Speaker 1: That's true, thank you. So, yes, that was my more
Speaker 1: better this week. Yes, you're right, I listen to myself,
Speaker 1: but I did miss a night out with you.
Speaker 3: Good more Better.
Speaker 1: What are we talking about today, Steph? This was your idea,
Speaker 1: so if the mL you introduce it.
Speaker 3: I don't know why this is, that's my idea.
Speaker 4: But we are talking about some kind of spicy not
Speaker 4: no spicy hot way and a spicy spicy Uh, I
Speaker 4: don't know the word that I'm looking for way.
Speaker 3: Drama. We're bringing the drama this week, you guys. We're
Speaker 3: talking about dealing with enemies. Mm hmmm. I think we
Speaker 3: all have enemies and we've all had them.
Speaker 1: Uh, we've had them. We have them, we have to
Speaker 1: live in proximity with them. Sometimes we have to work
Speaker 1: with them, and we're.
Speaker 3: Going to list them.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 3: Ready, get out your pen and paper, because we're going
Speaker 3: to listen to me. No, we're not doing that. We're
Speaker 3: just kidding. We're not doing that, or no, we're not maying.
Speaker 1: That, but it is I mean, like enemies for enemies.
Speaker 1: That's sort of more where I'm going to talk about.
Speaker 1: But like it is, Ah, not everybody's your people.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean, Like, not everybody is your
Speaker 3: You're not everybody's cup of tea. Yep.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 1: Some people are fucking gnarly motherfuckers, and how do we
Speaker 1: deal with them?
Speaker 3: You know? Like what is that?
Speaker 1: I guess like a good uh starting point is like
Speaker 1: what does it mean to be? What does it mean
Speaker 1: to like have an enemy or like think of someone
Speaker 1: as your enemy, like I guess is a good way
Speaker 1: to sort of start.
Speaker 4: I think for me, the first one is someone who
Speaker 4: has wronged me in a big way.
Speaker 3: They are ye in that they are on the list.
Speaker 4: They are an enemy shitless, they are on my shitless
Speaker 4: if I feel like I've been wronged or betrayed by them,
Speaker 4: not even betrayed, because I feel like betrayed sometimes, uh
Speaker 4: I would put betrayed yeah yeah yeah yeah, but like
Speaker 4: wronged you know in some way?
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah yeah. I mean also people like I just
Speaker 3: don't fucking like we all have them. Okay, So there's
Speaker 3: plenty of people that don't like me, you do, It's real,
Speaker 3: It's real, It's just real. I like mostly everyone.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I like mostly everyone too, But once in
Speaker 1: a blue fucking mother mugg by moon, there's somebody that
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't. I don't I smell it on
Speaker 1: you at all. Yeah, I don't like what you exactly.
Speaker 1: And I think it can also be like I think
Speaker 1: sometimes this one, this one makes me I have complicated
Speaker 1: feelings about this. I think sometimes it can be someone
Speaker 1: you feel like competitive with in some way and you
Speaker 1: feel that energy from them too, and it's giving like
Speaker 1: an enemy vibe, But like, are they really your enemy
Speaker 1: or you just like both feeling like you're pitted against
Speaker 1: each other, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: I think in that scenario, I have felt more like.
Speaker 4: I think this person thinks I'm their enemy because we're
Speaker 4: always like pitted against each other, and I get it
Speaker 4: energy that they strongly dislike me, and so then they
Speaker 4: become my enemy because I assume.
Speaker 1: That I am their enemy first, right, right? I mean,
Speaker 1: I think that happens sometimes for both of us. Study
Speaker 1: in theater, and I think that can happen a lot
Speaker 1: of times in like close confines like yes, you know,
Speaker 1: a theater department, or let's say, like a work environment
Speaker 1: where you're with all the same people and maybe you're
Speaker 1: striving for like you're both striving.
Speaker 3: For the same position.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I find that healthy because, like I mean, at
Speaker 1: least in my professional career, what I do think about
Speaker 1: is when I find myself feeling jealous of someone and
Speaker 1: being like they have all.
Speaker 3: The things that I want, It's like, Okay, that's good.
Speaker 3: That's motivation for me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because like if they have those things, I'm I
Speaker 1: want to get those things too.
Speaker 3: I agree that can be like a strong motivator.
Speaker 1: Yes, it is, like to me, sometimes that is the
Speaker 1: best motivator because you know, Judgie McGee over here.
Speaker 3: Me sometimes I'm like, oh, they're not even that good.
Speaker 3: You know. There's this I love this movie called Shag.
Speaker 1: I don't know if anyone's ever seen it, but there's
Speaker 1: this great part where Bridget Fonda's character she's looking through
Speaker 1: a magazine and she's talking about all these like movie
Speaker 1: stars and she's like, I'm just as pretty as any
Speaker 1: of those girls in Hollywood, and like, I.
Speaker 3: Mean, let's be real, she's fucking Bridget Vondo. She's gorgeous.
Speaker 1: But like I remember thinking as a kid, like oh yeah,
Speaker 1: like it's just regular people, Like it's all it's all people.
Speaker 3: That are doing this thing that I want to.
Speaker 1: Do, So like maybe there's room for me too, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think about that a lot, because, like I'll
Speaker 1: be honest, some of these people that are doing this
Speaker 1: thing that we're doing, they and all that good girl.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like, and sometimes I'm like I think, I'm I'm, I'm,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm pretty good too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just as good. So I'm going to try
Speaker 3: to do the thing. You know, I'm this is pretty
Speaker 3: any of those girls in Halloween yas.
Speaker 4: But I have also, you know, I spent more so
Speaker 4: when I lived in New York. There were a couple
Speaker 4: actresses that we would just kind of always be up
Speaker 4: for the same things that I would literally walk into
Speaker 4: an audition room and I would see if I saw
Speaker 4: one of them, and it was like they would almost
Speaker 4: like roll like the look on their face that I
Speaker 4: had gotten there, and I was like, am I an enemy?
Speaker 3: It was like you know, and like oh my god.
Speaker 4: And then it created such a weird vibe and then
Speaker 4: you're like being fake nice and you know that they're
Speaker 4: like pissed that you're there and that you're also auditioning
Speaker 4: for this role, and it's fucking awkward.
Speaker 3: It's so awkward. I don't talk to anybody. I don't
Speaker 3: talk to you.
Speaker 1: Well, that's also why I loved like when all the
Speaker 1: Latinas started getting together, because those are people that, yeah,
Speaker 1: we used to go to.
Speaker 4: Now we don't go to auditions anymore. Everything's on tape,
Speaker 4: but not really not the same way we used to
Speaker 4: go to auditions. I remember the first time seeing Francia
Speaker 4: an audition after like one of those first get togethers,
Speaker 4: and it was so nice to be like, oh my god, hot,
Speaker 4: like just to be friendly and not feel competitive and anyway,
Speaker 4: so sometimes not me biting my nails as we're talking
Speaker 4: about this, the anxiety sometimes, yeah, you think someone is
Speaker 4: your enemy and like they're not actually, like it's just
Speaker 4: whatever the situation that's making you feel pitted against each
Speaker 4: other and you know, and you just have to break
Speaker 4: the ice and like and find out if they're coo.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and sometimes people are shit. Sometimes sometimes that's also
Speaker 1: the case sometimes. I I remember this was like right
Speaker 1: after we'd gotten Brooklyn nine nine, like we shot the
Speaker 1: pilot and the show had been picked up for like
Speaker 1: a couple episodes, what was it like thirteen or something.
Speaker 3: In the very very beginning, I think, yeah, we were yeah,
Speaker 3: because we got a bank nine yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So, like we just had started shooting this season, like
Speaker 1: we just had started shooting it, and like people in
Speaker 1: the industry knew, like, oh, there's going to be this
Speaker 1: new show, right they had Highlight's been picked up.
Speaker 3: And I went to a party.
Speaker 1: I didn't know this woman very well, but she was
Speaker 1: friends with my ex at the time, and I went
Speaker 1: to her birthday event and it was like, you know,
Speaker 1: just like a dinner Margarita's whatever. And I sat on
Speaker 1: the table and I'm kind of nervous, and you know,
Speaker 1: I don't really know anyone in La yet because I
Speaker 1: had just moved here and I'd only been here for
Speaker 1: a year or whatever. And I started talking to a
Speaker 1: couple of the women at the table and we're just
Speaker 1: talking and someone asks me or says to me, oh,
Speaker 1: you're on that new Mike Sure and Dan Core show.
Speaker 1: And I said, yeah, yeah, it's Club Brooklyn nine nine.
Speaker 1: And this girl, this girl that you know, she's had
Speaker 1: a career in comedy, like, she was sitting at the
Speaker 1: table also and she was like, oh, you got that,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, yeah, I did. I'm really
Speaker 1: excited about it. You know, it's like the second thing
Speaker 1: I've ever done here, and she was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I auditioned for that, but I heard they
Speaker 1: were going ethnic.
Speaker 3: Eh.
Speaker 4: I heard they were going ethnic, which listeners, by the way,
Speaker 4: is something I have also heard many a time in
Speaker 4: my life.
Speaker 3: A disgusting thing is.
Speaker 1: So it's like, it's it's what people say when they
Speaker 1: can't admit to themselves that they're not talented enough to
Speaker 1: book things. So sorry for you, sorry about it. But
Speaker 1: I think the main thing is like, why would you
Speaker 1: ever say something like.
Speaker 3: That to a person? You know, Like, why would you
Speaker 3: say Why would you say that? Because you're jealous and shitty?
Speaker 4: I guess fine and be like, oh, I auditioned for
Speaker 4: that too, it's such a great role. Congrats like that.
Speaker 3: You know, how are you liking the cast? Whatever?
Speaker 1: No, that's something you say to somebody when you want
Speaker 1: to cut them down and make them feel like they
Speaker 1: didn't deserve to get the job that you wanted that
Speaker 1: you think you should have gotten. It's like she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I should have gotten that job, but they had to
Speaker 1: cast somebody like you because they had a filo quota,
Speaker 1: which is like ew no. And I'll never forget her.
Speaker 1: And I've seen her at events since and I've never
Speaker 1: talked to her again, and she is absolutely on my
Speaker 1: shit list.
Speaker 3: Dig don't fuck with her. I don't, I don't, I did,
Speaker 3: don't better better, you know, I think when people, sorry,
Speaker 3: my dog's barking, can you hear him? I can't hear him? Crazy.
Speaker 3: His enemy is everyone outside of everyone outside of the house.
Speaker 3: Is has a very long enemy list.
Speaker 1: It's everyone that's not us. Honestly, it's us sometimes too.
Speaker 1: If we come through a door too quick.
Speaker 3: He's like, what are you?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 3: Like he doesn't, he doesn't care. He's indiscriminate. Who was
Speaker 3: your enemy?
Speaker 1: Like did you have a someone that was like you're
Speaker 1: in like I had an enemy or like middle school, Yes,
Speaker 1: I had an enemy growing up.
Speaker 4: I won't say her name, even though it's like a
Speaker 4: super common name. If I said it, I'm pretty sure
Speaker 4: there's like one hundred thousand people with the same name.
Speaker 3: You know, it's Jill Biden. It's Jill Biden. Just tell
Speaker 3: us Jill Biden. She was a little bit of a
Speaker 3: the pope fucking Dali Lama. She was a little bit
Speaker 3: of a bully, a little bit of a mean girl.
Speaker 4: And you know, I feel like the movies we grew
Speaker 4: up with, like the early nineties movies like bullies were
Speaker 4: a big thing, and all those every kid movie had
Speaker 4: a bully. I mean, I think that's still kind of true,
Speaker 4: but I feel like just every single movie had some
Speaker 4: kind of bully in it, So I feel like it
Speaker 4: was very like in our face. So anyway, she was
Speaker 4: a little bit of a mean girl. And I think
Speaker 4: it was third or fourth grade. Uh, this was the
Speaker 4: first of.
Speaker 3: Many instances, but it's the one that I remember the
Speaker 3: most clearly. Oh my gosh, she a recurring character. She repulled.
Speaker 4: She pulls me aside in like Jim class Pe and says, oh,
Speaker 4: I do this really funny joke with Elena.
Speaker 3: Elena was my childhood best friend still my best friend.
Speaker 3: Were like sisters. I do this really funny joke with
Speaker 3: Elena where I, uh tell her I'm not her friend,
Speaker 3: and then like she gets scared for a second, and
Speaker 3: then I tell her joking and then she like laughed,
Speaker 3: like she convinced me that it was like a funny
Speaker 3: thing she did with Elena.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: She was like, we should do it to get saboteur.
Speaker 3: We should do it together today because.
Speaker 4: It'll be so funny, and I was like, okay, you know,
Speaker 4: and I was like, a jokes are kind of kids,
Speaker 4: So I totally bought into it. I was like, all right, cool,
Speaker 4: you got you got a cool prank that you pull
Speaker 4: that works, like I'm in And then we did it,
Speaker 4: and Elena immediately started bawling, crying, and I.
Speaker 3: Felt, oh my god, immediate shame of like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: I just was tricked.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I just did something so mean. I
Speaker 4: just hurt my friends. Feeling so badly and you know, rash,
Speaker 4: I was like, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. She told
Speaker 4: me there was a thing that you guys do and
Speaker 4: it was a joke and we didn't mean it, and
Speaker 4: you know, and I remember it so clearly because I
Speaker 4: was so upset.
Speaker 3: And then I was so, oh my god, mad that
Speaker 3: this person did that to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And then a few years later, we were at a
Speaker 4: sleepover a bunch of girls, like a big birthday sleepover,
Speaker 4: and she was in the other room and I said
Speaker 4: to the birthday girl, like, why did you invite her? Like,
Speaker 4: you know, and she heard me, and that was when
Speaker 4: I had my first fight.
Speaker 3: Oh snap, was it a fistfight.
Speaker 1: It was a.
Speaker 3: It was a it was an everything fight.
Speaker 4: It was a yeah, it was a pushing, pulling, punches,
Speaker 4: thrown on the bed, kicks, and I don't remember how.
Speaker 3: We got out of it, but in my mind I
Speaker 3: won that fight.
Speaker 1: But my god, yeah, I wish you all could see
Speaker 1: my face because my eyes are huge and my mouth
Speaker 1: was like a gape.
Speaker 4: And then I think that she ended up being like
Speaker 4: an okay person, like a decent adult.
Speaker 3: But I just didn't fuck with her, like like all
Speaker 3: through high school.
Speaker 1: And like I just sometimes, you know, it was a
Speaker 1: small town and like my school wasn't big, so it
Speaker 1: was hard to avoid, like really really avoid people. So
Speaker 1: there were plenty of times where we were at the
Speaker 1: same party or the same group of friends or whatever.
Speaker 3: But I just I just didn't. I didn't fuck with her.
Speaker 3: I was just like, don't walk with her.
Speaker 1: No with you.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, dude, this fight. I wonder if the
Speaker 3: mom came downstairs was like girls, girls, break it up.
Speaker 3: I don't remember. I don't remember. Yeah, I don't. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't remember. She deserved it, you guys, she deserved it.
Speaker 4: What if her version of the story was like and
Speaker 4: then I beat her ass and started crying, and that's
Speaker 4: I thought.
Speaker 1: A version of the story, whatever version of the story,
Speaker 1: is like yeah, and then I heard my bully from
Speaker 1: the other room is my best friend?
Speaker 3: Why did you invite her? And then I started crying
Speaker 3: and then she beat the shit out of me, and
Speaker 3: I had to go, oh, oh my god. We never know.
Speaker 3: You never know. You never know.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you're somebody's bully. Sometimes you're somebody's enemy. Sometimes maybe
Speaker 1: maybe I was. I don't know, but no, yeah, no
Speaker 1: you weren't. Your heart is telling you what it really was,
Speaker 1: which is that.
Speaker 3: Girl was mean, Oh yeah, how about you?
Speaker 1: Because I do wonder like, well, you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: I have it, Harry. I've always been the kind of
Speaker 1: person that has a big.
Speaker 3: Heart.
Speaker 1: Yes, And I'm not saying like I'm a I'm necessarily
Speaker 1: a great person, but I mean I have my flaws.
Speaker 3: We all do. But you're a great person. You're very empathetic. Thanks.
Speaker 3: So we were in I think we were in seventh grade.
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure it was seventh grade.
Speaker 1: And you know, seventh grade is a very awkward time
Speaker 1: because some people have blossomed, some people have not blossomed.
Speaker 1: I mean, like, yeah, some of y'all got your boobies.
Speaker 1: You know, some of y'all got your good looks. Yeah,
Speaker 1: some of us were waiting on our braces.
Speaker 3: Guess who I was.
Speaker 1: Some of us are still looking like children, yes, you know. So, Uh,
Speaker 1: seventh grade is a tough time. And I remember being
Speaker 1: in seventh grade and there was a girl that was
Speaker 1: at my school. And she will remain nameless, but let's
Speaker 1: for purposes of this, let's call her Plummara. Plumaria, okay,
Speaker 1: and Plumbaria had blossomed early. She was very pretty and
Speaker 1: she used that her advantage, you know, and she was popular.
Speaker 1: So like if she paid attention to you and you
Speaker 1: were not one of the pretty people, like you felt
Speaker 1: like like the sun.
Speaker 3: Was shining on you, you know.
Speaker 1: And I remember we were in in like some kind
Speaker 1: of class that was like an advanced class to my
Speaker 1: own horn here, but like I did take some advanced
Speaker 1: classes in school, and like we were in an advanced class.
Speaker 1: And what a lot of times our teachers would do
Speaker 1: would be like you can discuss the subject as a
Speaker 1: group and like kind of try to see what your
Speaker 1: peers think about whatever you're learning or reading, and like
Speaker 1: see if you can get any more information from talking
Speaker 1: to your peers, So like what would inevitably happen was
Speaker 1: that would turn into like goss obsessions or whatever we'd
Speaker 1: like socialize.
Speaker 3: Looking back on it now, probably the teacher was just like,
Speaker 3: you know what, talk amongst yourself. I'm tired.
Speaker 1: But so we're doing that, and like those of us
Speaker 1: that are kind of like a little more nerdy and smart,
Speaker 1: we're trying to like stick on on, We're trying to
Speaker 1: stay on topic.
Speaker 3: And Plemeria comes over and starts talking to the girl
Speaker 3: in front of me.
Speaker 1: And the girl in front of me was this really
Speaker 1: really sweet girl. She had a really interesting name because
Speaker 1: her family was South Asian and she wasn't a particularly
Speaker 1: popular girl, but she was really sweet and I would
Speaker 1: talk to her a lot in class. And Plamaria came
Speaker 1: over and straight up she was standing at her at
Speaker 1: this girl's desk and like looking back toward my desk
Speaker 1: because I was sitting behind her, and she.
Speaker 3: Straight up just like asked her for the answers. I
Speaker 3: heard her.
Speaker 1: She's like, can you just like give me the answers
Speaker 1: to this? And the girl was like, yeah, yeah, sure,
Speaker 1: and she took the paper from Plamaria's hand put it
Speaker 1: on her desk and like bent her head, you know,
Speaker 1: to start writing the answers for her, and Blamaria saw
Speaker 1: that I was staring at them because I was like,
Speaker 1: I know this is wrong.
Speaker 3: You know, I'm gonna tell, but I know this is wrong.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I looked at her and she looked at
Speaker 1: me and then she made this face like she looked
Speaker 1: at the girl, and then she looked at me and
Speaker 1: she made this face like ew right, and then she
Speaker 1: went back and like after.
Speaker 3: The girl had finish writing her the answer, she was like,
Speaker 3: thank you so much.
Speaker 1: You're the best, you know, Like it was just so disgusting.
Speaker 1: It was so disgusting that I felt like really sad
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 3: Like she was like a Regina George. See her make
Speaker 3: that face. She was like like, oh my god, You're
Speaker 3: school's so cute. Actually, where is it from. That's the
Speaker 3: ugliest epping skirt that I've ever seen. Yeah. It was mean.
Speaker 1: It was straight up mean. And she kept being mean
Speaker 1: like that all of middle school. She was mean all
Speaker 1: of high school, but like she was never nobody ever
Speaker 1: caught her being mean. She was just mean, sneaky mean
Speaker 1: and sneaky mean. Yeah, And anyway, I saw her at
Speaker 1: our twenty year reunion, and she was not excited that
Speaker 1: I was on a very good TV show.
Speaker 3: She was not pumped about it.
Speaker 1: She ignored me the entire time, and then at the
Speaker 1: very end, after she had had multiple drinks, she was like,
Speaker 1: aren't you on TV now? And I was like, I am,
Speaker 1: And then I you on TV now TV now. It's like,
Speaker 1: I don't need to explain myself to you, babe.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was my first enemy. Also, she I think
Speaker 1: to the eighth grade dance. She was asked to the
Speaker 1: eighth grade dance by the boy that I had a Oh,
Speaker 1: that really cemented it for me. It's hard to be
Speaker 1: awkward in junior high. You know, it's tough.
Speaker 3: It's a tough it's a tough one. It's tough, it's scarring.
Speaker 4: You'd like to say it builds character, but a character
Speaker 4: probably would have been without it.
Speaker 3: You know, maybe he wasn't. That's true. How do you
Speaker 3: like deal with people that you find I'm cereal in
Speaker 3: real life?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 3: Like, how do you deal with it? Now?
Speaker 1: There are a couple of people that I have to
Speaker 1: deal with on somewhat regular basis that I do not enjoy.
Speaker 1: And then you know, occasionally at work it happens.
Speaker 4: I feel like at work there is uh a uber
Speaker 4: professional mode you can go into.
Speaker 3: And like I kill them with kindness kind of thing,
Speaker 3: you know, totally. Yeah, I don't have that.
Speaker 4: I save that energy for work because to me, that's
Speaker 4: a more important setting that I don't want to you know,
Speaker 4: disparage anyone or create anything like in a workplace.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I feel like I can get through it
Speaker 3: pretty easily, especially with like what with what we do.
Speaker 4: You know, it's like in the downtime in between, you
Speaker 4: can always like not sit at your chair, like go
Speaker 4: somewhere else, Like there's plenty of places on set to
Speaker 4: hang out and or you can just like be in
Speaker 4: a book or be on your phone so that you
Speaker 4: don't have to like engage in conversation. For non Hollywood people,
Speaker 4: when things are when they're setting up lights and stuff,
Speaker 4: and we have a bit of downtime a lot of
Speaker 4: times if you get along with the people that you're
Speaker 4: working with, there's like hang out time, you know, at
Speaker 4: your past chair time to check time. But yeah, and
Speaker 4: then in real life I have less energy for real
Speaker 4: life people I don't like, So I still, you know,
Speaker 4: I stick with my killing with kindness. That's what I
Speaker 4: try to teach my kids too, when they have to
Speaker 4: deal with people they don't like, I say, you can't
Speaker 4: be mean, like you just you have to be nice
Speaker 4: and you just you know, give yourself space. And so
Speaker 4: I feel like I give myself the same advice of
Speaker 4: like space, I do not that's good.
Speaker 3: Get trapped in any conversation. I try not to get
Speaker 3: trapped in any conversations.
Speaker 4: If there's a group hang, I just try to find
Speaker 4: my people in the group, paying and stick with those people.
Speaker 3: Keep keep it moving, keep it cute. But yeah, how
Speaker 3: do you deal with with thine enemies?
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, in in situations like what you're
Speaker 1: talking about, like in a work environment, or like in
Speaker 1: a social environment where I'm confronted with someone that I
Speaker 1: know I'm not particularly a fan of, I often I'll
Speaker 1: keep it moving.
Speaker 3: I will often try to use like humor to kind
Speaker 3: of diffuse the situation.
Speaker 1: So, like, you know, if somebody says something that's straight
Speaker 1: up rude to me, a lot of times I'll just
Speaker 1: like bust out laughing, yeah, and say, like you know,
Speaker 1: one of my favorite things to do is bust out
Speaker 1: laughing and be like, I can't.
Speaker 3: Believe you said that out loud.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so good, you know, because that's it's really
Speaker 1: disarming to people to be like, oh my god, I've
Speaker 1: just been kind of caught, and then they go like
Speaker 1: they either try to cover or they just stand there,
Speaker 1: and either way, you've let them know that, like I
Speaker 1: got your number, buddy, Like I see what you're doing,
Speaker 1: and I'm not gonna let it bother me because this
Speaker 1: is not about me, it's about you.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 4: I'm able to do that sometimes, but I wish I
Speaker 4: could do it more. It's like I often do that
Speaker 4: thing where you know, I freeze, and then later that
Speaker 4: night I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, oh I could have said this. I should have
Speaker 3: said I think.
Speaker 4: Good comebacks, all the good burns, and I'm like, damn it,
Speaker 4: where was my comedy brain at that moment.
Speaker 3: But I love the idea of just That's why I
Speaker 3: don't try to do that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, because like then you know that, like you've
Speaker 1: got to I've got a canned response for it.
Speaker 5: Is.
Speaker 1: So if you're ever at a party three and I
Speaker 1: just bust up laughing and say, I can't believe you
Speaker 1: just said that I.
Speaker 3: Got your number. But like, that'sn' easy for me. It's
Speaker 3: like a canned response to your absolute bullshit.
Speaker 1: And then I try to walk away after that because
Speaker 1: I know, like this is a waste of my time
Speaker 1: being here with this person or whatever. You know, Like
Speaker 1: like if I could go back in time to that
Speaker 1: dinner where that girl said that, I would laugh in
Speaker 1: her face and be like, I can't believe you just
Speaker 1: said that out loud. That's wild that you felt like
Speaker 1: you could say that to me and that's all and
Speaker 1: then say that because I think most of the time
Speaker 1: when people say that a lot of her own bullshit,
Speaker 1: they don't expect you to confront it. They're like they
Speaker 1: know it's going to put you down, they know it's
Speaker 1: gonna like give them some sense of like power power,
Speaker 1: and they don't ever expect to be called out about it. No, no,
Speaker 1: because like most of the time people are just so
Speaker 1: shocked that somebody said something that fucked up anyway. Yeah,
Speaker 1: have you do you remember the in the I think
Speaker 1: it's in the Bridget Jones movies where she goes, oh,
Speaker 1: I was just jellyfish.
Speaker 3: She jellyfished me.
Speaker 1: Jellyfishing is essentially when you know you don't know that
Speaker 1: you're being sung by a jellyfish until it's already happened.
Speaker 3: Where you're like, fuck, my leg hurts.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like you feel something kind of like
Speaker 1: slide past you and then like oh shit, right, god,
Speaker 1: yeah that that is those slidy snide comments that are
Speaker 1: like those you know, aggressions your hair like that, you know,
Speaker 1: it's so yucky, it's so yucky, and like, yeah, those
Speaker 1: are the ones that I hate because you try to
Speaker 1: be on the line that like they say it like
Speaker 1: they're confused, like, but I didn't know you were that funny.
Speaker 3: I didn't know that you were you were that funny.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, you really like you really shine up
Speaker 3: when like you get a dress and makeup on. You're
Speaker 3: a monster. I wish I could straight up to say that,
Speaker 3: oh you're a monster. Oh I didn't know. I should
Speaker 3: try that sometimes.
Speaker 1: Oh that's a good thing. That's got to be for
Speaker 1: someone that you're not afraid of though, Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1: That's the other thing is like sometimes enemies have power,
Speaker 1: so you gotta be real careful.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean they're intimidating, Yeah yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: In the movies, you can just say whatever you want, right,
Speaker 1: but like in real life, sometimes the enemy has like
Speaker 1: a powerful position at your job or like can control
Speaker 1: some kind of like aspect of something that's gonna have
Speaker 1: an effect on your life and you can't maybe like
Speaker 1: say all the things that you wish you could say,
Speaker 1: so you just have to kind of.
Speaker 3: I mean, keep it moving, I guess.
Speaker 1: Like also sometimes I think about the other thing I
Speaker 1: think about a lot is like they that's about them,
Speaker 1: that's not about you, right, Like that's helped me more
Speaker 1: than once like not burst into tears because sometimes it
Speaker 1: really is like that is something about them that has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with you.
Speaker 3: You just have to like that.
Speaker 1: You got to just let that one go, Like let
Speaker 1: it go. That's not about you, that's about them, that's
Speaker 1: not about you, that's about them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's.
Speaker 1: Hard to do that, but it's so much of the
Speaker 1: time when somebody is being mean, it's because of they're
Speaker 1: projecting something that they're dealing with.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's real. That is so real and such a
Speaker 4: good reminder totally. There was a little stupid independent movie
Speaker 4: I did that ended up being terrible and the director
Speaker 4: was basically a con man and he was awful, and I.
Speaker 3: Worked with a slightly older actress.
Speaker 4: I'm not even going to make it that hard for
Speaker 4: people to figure out if they want to figure it out,
Speaker 4: who has worked a ton. And I was really excited
Speaker 4: to work with her, and I ended up learning so
Speaker 4: much from her about how to deal with someone like
Speaker 4: that because she held so many boundaries and she would
Speaker 4: get in his face, but never in a disrespectful manner.
Speaker 4: She would just be like, what is your plan? Just
Speaker 4: admit that you don't know what you're doing, and let
Speaker 4: us black the scene and let us can you just
Speaker 4: what are we doing here?
Speaker 3: What are you even saying? That doesn't make any sense?
Speaker 3: Like she just called him out and attempted to keep
Speaker 3: him honest, which was impossible because I think this person
Speaker 3: was like a sociopath. I don't know, but I just
Speaker 3: kind of read.
Speaker 4: I feel like I got so much power from that
Speaker 4: experience because I was like watching in real time, like, oh,
Speaker 4: it's okay to speak up. It's okay to speak up
Speaker 4: and defend yourself and have boundaries and be like this
Speaker 4: this is what should be worth my time, and this
Speaker 4: is like a certain level I expect and should all
Speaker 4: expect while we're here in this professional setting but she
Speaker 4: also didn't take any of this fucking shit either.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: And it was awesome and it was so badass.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say who it was, because it was
Speaker 1: Bonnie Badelia and she's amazing and incredible and I love
Speaker 1: her dearly, and she was just so bad ass in
Speaker 1: that experience, and it was awful.
Speaker 3: It was awful, awful, awful.
Speaker 1: I was so angry with this man and I hated
Speaker 1: him so much, but I did get that out of it,
Speaker 1: and I feel like since then, I've been less shaken
Speaker 1: by terrible people, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah, and able to be like I have like a.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have like a way of being to kind
Speaker 4: of like fall back on, I guess And I love
Speaker 4: your ideas saw me do it because I saw her
Speaker 4: do it. And I love your idea of having like
Speaker 4: a canned response that I'm totally going to think of
Speaker 4: something for myself because I love that. Yeah, because I
Speaker 4: will freeze in moments where someone says some shit to
Speaker 4: me that's like wild.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But I also just think watching someone be so in
Speaker 3: their power like that is just I don't know it,
Speaker 3: it's something about it minimized, Like I just felt less
Speaker 3: intimidated by shitty people after that. Yeah, totally.
Speaker 4: It was just like oh, some totally it just see
Speaker 4: and I yes, and I don't have to let it
Speaker 4: like affect me so deeply.
Speaker 1: I can just be like, oh, like you were saying,
Speaker 1: you're not my people, and I think you're kind of shitty,
Speaker 1: and so yeah, it's hard.
Speaker 3: It's hard. It's hard dealing with people that you don't like.
Speaker 3: It's really hard.
Speaker 5: It is.
Speaker 1: But I think that there's a way to do it gracefully. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I hope me like just step away and don't engage.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's a difference between enemies and bullying, you know,
Speaker 1: like if we're not talking about bullies, Like bullies is
Speaker 1: a different subject, right, but like enemies people that like
Speaker 1: you know, that don't have your best interest at her,
Speaker 1: and like just try to give space to it because
Speaker 1: I mean, I think, oh, I'm so excited to think
Speaker 1: of my canned response. It's gonna be very close to yours.
Speaker 1: Maybe something like.
Speaker 3: Wow, you are so confident to say something like that,
Speaker 3: I really admire your confidence. Ah, I admire your confidence.
Speaker 1: Or like another one I think I read this in
Speaker 1: a magazine once was like make them repeat it, be like,
Speaker 1: could you say that again?
Speaker 3: Go ahead, yeah, say insult me, insult me, really do
Speaker 3: an insult? Oh? Wow, I haven't been insulted in so long.
Speaker 3: Can you do it again? That was that was crazy?
Speaker 3: That was so wild. Yes, that's good.
Speaker 1: You repeat it, or like uh, or even just like
Speaker 1: making her say it again, right, like what did you say?
Speaker 1: I said, I went in for that job, but I
Speaker 1: heard they went ethnic.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I couldn't gill you one more time. And then when
Speaker 1: they say it again, be like, yeah, I thought that's
Speaker 1: what you said.
Speaker 3: Wow, it's interesting, more better. How do you feel about
Speaker 3: this today? How do you feel about talking about this?
Speaker 3: Made me mad? It did make me mad.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I felt myself getting a little like hmm, riled
Speaker 4: up talking about yeah, all these unfortunate people we've had
Speaker 4: to deal with and encounter.
Speaker 1: I don't you know, I don't like when people are mean.
Speaker 1: I like when people are mean books. I don't like
Speaker 1: when people are rude. I don't like when people are mean,
Speaker 1: says the woman who played Rosa Diaz. Free excuse me.
Speaker 1: I don't think Rosa was mean. I think Rosa she
Speaker 1: does mean.
Speaker 3: Sometimes sometimes she was mean.
Speaker 4: I was gonna say she was really confident and a
Speaker 4: little aggressive, which is different, Yeah, different energy. She never
Speaker 4: told a lie, she never lied in her meanness. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but I do feel empowered with this canned response thing and.
Speaker 3: Some of these good some of these. Yeah that's your takeaway. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's my takeaway. How about you?
Speaker 5: I think my takeaway is like, there's always gonna be
Speaker 5: ship Like, there's always gonna be ship people, you know, like.
Speaker 3: We're gonna we're gonna encounter that again and again in
Speaker 3: our lives.
Speaker 1: Like there's gonna be people like in the nursing home
Speaker 1: that are ships. Like there's just no in the nursing home.
Speaker 1: That one bitch in the nursing home that's up in
Speaker 1: up in your ship, like fucking with your man, you know,
Speaker 1: like fucking with your lunch, like stealing your apple sauce.
Speaker 3: But like, what can you do that?
Speaker 1: There's not a lot, There's there's not a lot you
Speaker 1: can do other than like make it boring for them
Speaker 1: to be so involved in your life, just like be
Speaker 1: bored by them and move on.
Speaker 3: I guess you you bor me. Do you feel more better?
Speaker 3: I think I do feel more better. How do you feel?
Speaker 1: Do you feel more better I feel I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't feel more better about it. I feel like I
Speaker 1: know what it is, Yeah, but I don't. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't like thinking about these people.
Speaker 3: That's the other thing.
Speaker 1: I don't really think about these people very much because
Speaker 1: and we just thought about them. My life is pretty good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know.
Speaker 4: Same, Yeah, as a Southerners say, which I love. Bless them,
Speaker 4: Bless their heart, Bless their heart, Bless their hearts. Anyway,
Speaker 4: we'll see you next week when we talk more shit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, see you next week.
Speaker 1: Bye bye, more Bet Doude, you have something you'd like
Speaker 1: to be more better at that you want us to
Speaker 1: talk about in a future episode.
Speaker 4: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
Speaker 4: one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 1: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at More Better pod
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com and include a voice note if
Speaker 1: you want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More
Speaker 1: Better with Stephanie Melissa is a production from w V
Speaker 1: Sound and iHeartMedia's Mikultura podcast network, hosted by Me, Stephanie Viatriz,
Speaker 1: and Melissa Fumero. More Better is produced by Isis Madrid,
Speaker 1: Leo Clem and Sophie Spencer.
Speaker 3: Zebos.
Speaker 1: Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama and Leo Clem at
Speaker 1: w V Sound. This episode was edited by Isis Madrid
Speaker 1: and engineered by Sean Tracy and features original music by
Speaker 1: Madison Davenport and Hey Loo Boy. Our cover art is
Speaker 1: by vincent Remy's and photography by David Avalos. For more
Speaker 1: podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 3: See you next week, Sugas Bye,