WEBVTT - Romance Before Apps: “Boyfriends are something you have between lovers.” 0:00:03.560 --> 0:00:06.400 Ruby. 0:00:07.200 --> 0:00:09.600 See that's a trick. Those are boyfriends. 0:00:11.000 --> 0:00:14.360 Yes, young people go to bars these days, but they 0:00:14.400 --> 0:00:17.560 go to bars to socialize, and then they go home 0:00:17.840 --> 0:00:20.680 and they get on the internet to pick somebody up. 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:25.040 I just look at their cross and they look at mine. 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:28.560 From just beyond the lights of Los Angeles and steamy 0:00:28.920 --> 0:00:35.400 Palm Springs, California, it's Mick Robert Bill just say, and 0:00:35.600 --> 0:00:38.479 this is silver lightning. 0:00:38.440 --> 0:00:47.639 With the old days. Well, hello again, lovers. Bill, are 0:00:47.680 --> 0:00:49.240 you feeling frisky? 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:51.479 That can only mean one. 0:00:51.280 --> 0:00:53.320 Thing and I'm already blushing. 0:00:54.120 --> 0:01:01.800 Today's episode is about first crushes, romance, heartbreak, and relationships. 0:01:00.760 --> 0:01:06.920 And flirting back when it required nerve, eye contact. 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:08.920 And a decent mustache. 0:01:09.520 --> 0:01:14.440 Growing up, gay crushes weren't exactly simple at the time. 0:01:14.600 --> 0:01:16.880 You didn't know what you were feeling. 0:01:17.280 --> 0:01:21.080 You just knew your stomach flipped when a certain someone walked. 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:25.240 By, and you tried very hard not to stare in 0:01:25.280 --> 0:01:30.679 the locker room. Speak for yourself, I am. 0:01:31.040 --> 0:01:34.960 When we got started, there were no apps. 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:39.400 No swiping lift, no profile pictures. 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:43.360 Just vibes and energy. Irl. 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:47.840 So today we're going back to secret crushes. 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:53.320 Important relationships, and the first time we dared to say 0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:58.520 the word boyfriend out loud. So turn on your gaitar. 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:02.640 Silver Lightnings begins now. 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:08.760 To kick things off. Who here remembers their very first crush. 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:13.079 Well, my first crush was a guy by name of Roger, 0:02:14.040 --> 0:02:16.880 and I was working in a men's store when I 0:02:16.960 --> 0:02:19.840 was in high school. I worked twenty hours a week 0:02:20.800 --> 0:02:26.519 and Roger started coming into the store quite often, and 0:02:26.800 --> 0:02:32.320 I walked to work from my house. So he started 0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:34.600 asking me if i'd like a ride home. 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:37.440 You took rides from strangers. 0:02:38.160 --> 0:02:41.880 Well, we'd talked about four or five times. He was 0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:46.600 my age and so I didn't see anything wrong with that, 0:02:47.760 --> 0:02:52.960 and I didn't really know what to think of him. 0:02:53.000 --> 0:02:56.560 I thought there was something there, but I didn't know. 0:02:56.960 --> 0:03:00.960 And one night he'd pulled into the driveway. We were 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:04.840 just sitting there talking. We were out of sight of 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:09.120 the house and that, and when he said goodbye to me, 0:03:10.080 --> 0:03:13.800 he leaned over and he kissed me on the ear. 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:23.320 And I stick in your ear, no, no tongue. 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:30.480 And I was so confused. I mean, I knew I 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:33.280 was gay and I was out, and I had had 0:03:33.320 --> 0:03:39.440 had sex with other men, but I was just completely 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:43.800 taken back. And we saw each other as much as 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:48.000 we could. In fact, one weekend we took off and 0:03:48.040 --> 0:03:51.760 we drove up to San Francisco and just had the 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:55.160 greatest time up there. I mean we were both underage, 0:03:55.320 --> 0:03:58.760 but in San Francisco in those days, they didn't care 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:02.280 how old you were to serve you a dream and 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:09.440 we just had an absolutely marvelous time. So that was 0:04:09.560 --> 0:04:15.040 my first crush. My first crush was when I was 0:04:15.120 --> 0:04:21.599 in the seventh grade Annie Camp Junior High School, Donsbur, Arkansas. 0:04:22.720 --> 0:04:27.760 I remember it very vividly, but this new boy moved 0:04:27.920 --> 0:04:34.280 to town, Billy Earlkeith, and I just thought he was 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:40.200 so dreamy. I would just stare at him whenever he 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:44.479 would enter a room, and he was real popular with 0:04:44.839 --> 0:04:51.479 girls and the cheerleaders and all of that. And somehow 0:04:52.520 --> 0:04:57.760 I invited him over to the house one week and 0:04:58.200 --> 0:05:05.200 for a sleepover. And it was Friday night because Saturday 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:11.280 was the busy day at the store, because all the 0:05:11.320 --> 0:05:16.640 farmers would come into town to do their shopping, and 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:22.120 so my mom, dad, and two brothers would go and 0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:26.400 work at the shop and I was left alone with 0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:31.440 Billy Earl. And in the morning we woke up and 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:39.640 I remember asking him what like kissing the cheerleaders, and 0:05:39.680 --> 0:05:44.520 he said, here, let me show you, and he planted 0:05:44.680 --> 0:05:50.479 a big kiss on my lips that I remember to 0:05:50.640 --> 0:05:55.599 this day. And then we kind of toussled about in 0:05:55.800 --> 0:05:59.839 the bed for probably about and now. 0:06:01.080 --> 0:06:03.640 And so what did you do? 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:12.280 Well, keep in mind seventh grade, that's around twelve years old, 0:06:12.440 --> 0:06:19.040 and you know things are changing, and being the first 0:06:19.360 --> 0:06:23.880 and having never seen porn or anything at that time, 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:33.560 I didn't have too much instruction, so it was very exploratory. 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:34.479 How fun? 0:06:35.200 --> 0:06:37.800 And did you continue to see him after that? 0:06:38.640 --> 0:06:39.039 I would? 0:06:39.200 --> 0:06:42.480 We would get together periodically after that. 0:06:42.680 --> 0:06:44.359 Yeah, what did you explore? 0:06:45.160 --> 0:06:49.960 Well, we explored each other's crevices. 0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:55.880 Oh, come on before, we can't. 0:06:56.360 --> 0:07:01.080 That just ruined the whole thing. Say what about you? 0:07:01.160 --> 0:07:07.080 We've had enough of you. My first crush was my 0:07:07.160 --> 0:07:12.080 cousin's boyfriend. His name was Cephas. He was the most 0:07:12.160 --> 0:07:18.440 handsome jit black man with this perfect body, and I 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:20.920 would go lay my head on his lap, but I 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:24.880 would turn my face down and nobody knew what was 0:07:24.880 --> 0:07:27.160 going on. And I can't believe now looking back at 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:30.360 I go tang. I was real small when that happened, 0:07:31.120 --> 0:07:34.200 so I was out to myself early I just we 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:35.880 just had to play the games with the rest of 0:07:35.920 --> 0:07:39.400 the world and date everybody the women, which was sad. 0:07:39.560 --> 0:07:44.119 But Cephus was wool What a man, what a maddic 0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:48.600 good man he was. So that was it one time 0:07:48.640 --> 0:07:49.720 in the crotch and then. 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:55.240 Uh, that reminds me of a story. Mark was my 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:58.160 next door damer. He was four years older than I was, 0:07:58.240 --> 0:08:01.240 so this probably was it in the summer that he 0:08:01.680 --> 0:08:05.360 between are his junior and senior year in high school 0:08:05.800 --> 0:08:10.760 and wherever I was seventh and eighth grade, wherever that was, well, 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:15.000 he taught me how to suck cock, and then he 0:08:15.120 --> 0:08:19.400 also taught me how to differentiate between guys who did 0:08:19.400 --> 0:08:22.480 what we did and guys who didn't, and that you 0:08:22.560 --> 0:08:25.600 really had to, you know, kind of suss their way there. 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:29.080 And so in a lot of ways, Mark was not 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:32.840 only my first crush as well, but he also was 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:37.880 a mentor. And I find now looking back that these 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:40.680 are the type of people that I have led into 0:08:40.720 --> 0:08:44.319 my life because each time I've been in a relationship 0:08:44.360 --> 0:08:47.360 in which I really developed a crush on somebody that 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:53.000 it's been a lasting impact and they've always invited me 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:57.480 something about the truth about theirselves, and so I'm always 0:08:57.520 --> 0:09:00.800 interested in learning more, and I guess that's where it 0:09:00.840 --> 0:09:01.520 started from. 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:03.079 And so it is. 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:11.240 I can remember other crushes John Hattner. He was on 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:18.000 the football team and had a real nice compact, muscular body, 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:24.040 and I was taking drawing lessons at the time, and 0:09:24.120 --> 0:09:29.280 so I managed to get him to come over one 0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:35.560 day to pose for a figure drawing for me, and 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:42.240 he took off falls clothes except for his underwear, and 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:47.240 I drew him, but sadly, he brought a friend along 0:09:47.520 --> 0:09:50.880 with him to make sure that nothing happened. 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:51.839 A smart guy. 0:09:55.040 --> 0:09:57.160 He couldn't hand you by himself. 0:09:57.080 --> 0:09:58.960 No, I think he did. 0:09:59.000 --> 0:10:00.480 He know it out. 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:09.480 This isn't going beyond drawing. What's one significant romantic or 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:13.600 sexual experience you had in your early years that you 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:15.760 will always remember. 0:10:15.880 --> 0:10:21.960 Mark, Oh, you people can't see. But the guy Bob 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:24.560 just licked his lips and then he said, Mark. 0:10:26.000 --> 0:10:33.360 Well, this was soon after I had moved to San Francisco. 0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:39.720 I moved there in nineteen eighty and lived in one 0:10:39.800 --> 0:10:43.560 place for a few months, and then me and my 0:10:43.760 --> 0:10:48.120 roommates moved to another place, which was just a few 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:54.880 blocks away from Buena Vista Park in San Francisco, which 0:10:55.120 --> 0:11:00.800 was notorious for gay cruising. And one day I was 0:11:00.880 --> 0:11:06.280 walking with my dog through a path that cut through 0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:12.600 the bushes and came into a clearing, and in the 0:11:12.679 --> 0:11:20.240 middle of the clearing was this beautiful blond young man 0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:28.679 who was sunning himself and a very skimpy bathing suit, 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:33.760 and he stared up at me with his big blue eyes, 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:39.720 and we struck a conversation and he went with me 0:11:39.920 --> 0:11:46.560 down to the house and we had a really nice time. 0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:51.640 You left the dog at the park, No, the dog. 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:55.360 The dog came with you are so cruel, Bob. 0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:57.800 But anyway, well. 0:11:57.920 --> 0:12:02.000 That was a very memorable day, and you remember it, 0:12:02.160 --> 0:12:10.440 Oh yeah, somehow, I remember it well. When I was 0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:14.200 living in Laguna Beach when I was twenty years old, 0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:18.480 my mom she'd take the family down to the beach 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:21.000 every summer for a week, and she asked me to 0:12:21.040 --> 0:12:24.320 go and find a house for us. And so I 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:28.280 went down into a real estate office and a realtor, 0:12:28.559 --> 0:12:32.120 his name was John. He helped me and then he 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:34.800 sent me out with one of his workers to find 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:38.080 a house. We found it. I came back and he said, 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:43.280 you know, stop by for coffee anytime you want. And 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:46.679 I didn't take him up on it. I mean, he 0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:50.680 was forty five and I was twenty years old. 0:12:50.960 --> 0:12:51.480 Perfect. 0:12:52.640 --> 0:12:56.680 And during that summer, when my mom was down there, 0:12:57.240 --> 0:12:59.560 a friend of mine invited me to a party and 0:12:59.679 --> 0:13:04.520 John was there. And John invited me out to dinner 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:08.080 the next night, and I said okay, and we went 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:15.440 to the Berkshires in Newport Beach and we started off 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:22.240 with shrimp cocktails, then Chateaubrion, then a Grand Marnier Sioux Fla, 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:30.439 and John was literally trying to win my heart over 0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:36.480 by just lavishing, you know, gifts and cloth. I was 0:13:36.520 --> 0:13:41.440 about to go to Orange Coast College for the semesters, 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:46.400 so we flew to San Francisco and bought my new 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:49.040 school clothes at Cable Car Clothes. 0:13:49.440 --> 0:13:51.320 You remember all this stuff. 0:13:51.240 --> 0:13:53.680 Bill Tea members everything before Jesus came. 0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:57.880 Where was in Newport It was right across from the arches, 0:13:58.480 --> 0:14:05.040 oh sure. And then John started to not really pay 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:08.440 much attention to business. He was too busy with me. 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:15.480 We were having a great time, and eventually we decided 0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:21.080 that it just wasn't working out. Why there wasn't really 0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:24.800 any love on my part or there was someone who 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:27.600 was just adoring me with things sort of. 0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:28.920 And what's wrong with that? 0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:32.800 He ran out of money? 0:14:33.880 --> 0:14:37.160 I mean forty five and twenty you kind of get 0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:39.280 the feeling that you know, he's kind to show you. 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:40.400 Trying to buy by you. 0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:45.720 Yeah, but what just say was really true. He did 0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:50.080 run out of money, and I. 0:14:50.560 --> 0:14:52.160 Because you wasn't cheap ring at the ill. 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:56.480 It's like the old song you had a lot of 0:14:56.560 --> 0:14:59.880 money nineteen twenty nine. You don't get a little mo 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:03.040 market or you are such a swine. Why don't you 0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:06.120 do right like some other men? 0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:06.360 Do? 0:15:07.920 --> 0:15:11.560 Get me some money and I'll see a real soup? 0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:15.360 Is that what you you? This little gold digger you 0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:17.680 at twenty I. 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:21.880 Wasn't trying to be a gold digger, but that was 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:27.040 just an experience that I had. And one thing that 0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:31.920 really taught me because I I didn't have any money myself, 0:15:32.160 --> 0:15:36.080 was all of a sudden, I was absolutely broke, and 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:40.920 I learned very quickly that you have to have your 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:45.880 own money to be a person. You just can't have 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:47.600 it slatthered on you. 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:51.680 Okay, I'll go next, if you don't mind. Oh, dude, 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:55.960 my very first time experiencing what I'd been looking for 0:15:56.000 --> 0:15:59.640 at Love was when I was at the Parliament House. 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:04.440 Tellan Orlando, I'm standing there with my roommate from college, 0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:09.360 and I hear this yummy voice over me asking me 0:16:09.440 --> 0:16:12.960 to dance. That I turn around and look up to 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:20.560 this handsome man, Samuel Coleman Washington, and we danced, and 0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:23.400 then I went home with him, and he went to 0:16:23.480 --> 0:16:26.160 work the next day, and I cleaned his house and 0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:28.640 emptied out all the pot because I didn't know weed 0:16:28.760 --> 0:16:31.520 was really weed. And he comes home and has a 0:16:31.520 --> 0:16:37.680 heart attack. But we dated for five awesome years. Unfortunately, 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:42.560 drugs is what separated us, because he was vice president 0:16:42.560 --> 0:16:44.760 of a bank and doing really well, and the drugs 0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:49.520 just took over. And it was sad because I really 0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:53.080 loved him, but we had some wonderful times that I 0:16:53.080 --> 0:16:57.760 am forever indebted for him in introducing true love to 0:16:57.800 --> 0:17:01.360 me what I was expecting from it. I mean, as 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:06.280 our relationship grew and he cleared up. But what an 0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:09.600 amazing man. And it's said that his life ended so early 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:12.080 because we'd probably still be dating if he were living. 0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:17.320 So sad it is. It is because he was truly 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:20.680 a He was good to me, good to me. 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:26.240 Yeah, I do have another one. I think it was 0:17:26.280 --> 0:17:29.560 my senior year in college I came out, but before 0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:33.720 I did, I went to see a psychologist, a gay 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:39.000 psychologist up in Minneapolis. And he's a very handsome man, 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:43.480 and he kind of cleared up some misconceptions I had 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:47.920 about gay people. And then he what you're not supposed 0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:51.920 to do. He invited me out for dinner, and then 0:17:51.960 --> 0:17:55.720 he took me home and he taught me some more 0:17:56.000 --> 0:18:00.280 about things to do. And I have to say he 0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:05.840 also had a lover who evidently found out about this 0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:09.520 date that he was having and came over the next morning. 0:18:09.760 --> 0:18:10.240 I love it. 0:18:10.480 --> 0:18:12.720 Oh, it was the first time I was treated to 0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:15.959 that kind of scene. I was growing up fast. But 0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:17.960 I have to tell you, this guy was hot sex 0:18:18.520 --> 0:18:24.080 and I remember that one. I don't remember his name, 0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:25.400 but I remember him. 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:29.120 Now, you went to the psychologist on your own. Your 0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:30.480 parents didn't send you in. 0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:32.760 No, no, my parents didn't say, oh no, they wouldn't 0:18:32.760 --> 0:18:35.919 have sent me to a gay psychologist for real. This 0:18:36.000 --> 0:18:41.480 guy brought me out. Well. Moving on, what are your 0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:44.080 earliest memories of flirting? 0:18:44.760 --> 0:18:50.480 Ah, I kind of didn't think I flirted, but everyone 0:18:50.520 --> 0:18:54.800 else thought I did. Yes, Sometimes you don't know when 0:18:54.880 --> 0:19:00.960 you're flirting exactly exactly. It's kind of an un conscious 0:19:01.400 --> 0:19:04.760 reaction to someone you're attracted to. 0:19:05.240 --> 0:19:05.919 And you don't know. 0:19:07.440 --> 0:19:11.680 No, Wow, it wouldn't be unconscious, it would be your subconscious. 0:19:11.840 --> 0:19:17.240 I just become overly friendly. Okay, you just say, I 0:19:17.359 --> 0:19:20.800 just get gooddy giddy giddy, and I get quiet. 0:19:21.280 --> 0:19:21.639 Mmm. 0:19:21.640 --> 0:19:23.879 Surprisingly, I know it's hard for you to believe. 0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:28.040 I guess it's the first time I actually understood what 0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:31.560 the word flirting meant was, and I did it unconsciously. 0:19:32.400 --> 0:19:35.280 It was in the eighth grade and I looked around 0:19:35.640 --> 0:19:37.480 to the room. There was a kid in the other room. 0:19:37.520 --> 0:19:42.560 His name was Scott, and he was built kid and 0:19:42.760 --> 0:19:45.880 really wild one. He was the first one who took 0:19:45.920 --> 0:19:51.280 his middle finger blew me a kiss, and he did 0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:53.639 it at that point in the eighth grade. And then 0:19:53.680 --> 0:19:56.359 he called me a dirty old man. And I just 0:19:56.560 --> 0:19:59.480 in eighth grade. I just well, First of all, I thought, 0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:05.480 how does he you know that? To this day I 0:20:05.640 --> 0:20:09.200 keep looking for him, but I can never find him. 0:20:09.200 --> 0:20:10.880 He put the finger in the wrong hole. 0:20:13.000 --> 0:20:15.679 Maybe if Scott is listening out there, he knows, you know, 0:20:16.160 --> 0:20:16.800 look me up. 0:20:17.040 --> 0:20:17.439 Call me. 0:20:18.200 --> 0:20:20.960 Usually when I think it is what you're not even 0:20:21.000 --> 0:20:24.240 aware that you're flirting and somebody calls you out on it. 0:20:24.480 --> 0:20:27.600 Yeah, and that's when it becomes embarrassing. 0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:29.840 I can't imagine you flirting. 0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:31.159 No, Bob is not a flirt. 0:20:31.280 --> 0:20:36.879 I know, Bill, I could see is a flirt. Bill's 0:20:36.880 --> 0:20:38.320 a tease. Yeah, it. 0:20:41.520 --> 0:20:43.440 Kind of a refined art. 0:20:43.840 --> 0:20:44.040 Well. 0:20:44.080 --> 0:20:48.720 I think where I got my flirting was basically working 0:20:48.800 --> 0:20:53.920 in a men's store, because you are flirting with your customers. 0:20:54.600 --> 0:21:00.199 Absolutely, can I interest you in a jockstrap? Did you 0:21:00.200 --> 0:21:03.320 ever say that at the store? Sure, you haven't picked 0:21:03.359 --> 0:21:04.520 up your jock strap yet. 0:21:04.920 --> 0:21:08.400 No, but I did wait on two guys and they 0:21:08.440 --> 0:21:13.359 were looking for bathing suits. So I looked up and 0:21:13.440 --> 0:21:16.560 I showed them, you know, a surfer bathing suit, you know, 0:21:16.720 --> 0:21:19.920 like you hang ten on that. Yeah, And they said 0:21:19.920 --> 0:21:23.760 to me, well, where do you put your jewels? And 0:21:24.160 --> 0:21:27.479 I no idea what they were talking about. 0:21:28.000 --> 0:21:33.840 They weren't family jewels. Yeah, that's very fell the shrink 0:21:33.920 --> 0:21:38.480 of the sixties, that's exactly when it was, yeah sixties. Yeah, 0:21:38.680 --> 0:21:41.560 now we referred to it as you're junk. Yeah. 0:21:42.000 --> 0:22:00.280 Yeah. 0:22:00.760 --> 0:22:06.679 What's the most embarrassing flirt moment that you can remember? 0:22:07.520 --> 0:22:10.199 The Only time I've ever had an embarrassing flirt is 0:22:10.240 --> 0:22:12.720 when I'm running to the door. You know, you got 0:22:12.720 --> 0:22:18.199 to give a person of the fine. I've done it 0:22:18.240 --> 0:22:20.920 in the supermarket. I've done it, like at Gelson's in 0:22:21.280 --> 0:22:23.960 West Hollywood. I would be in a little card like 0:22:24.040 --> 0:22:26.560 we look over and I just run over a display. 0:22:27.000 --> 0:22:29.320 I have done that. I have done that. 0:22:29.720 --> 0:22:35.080 Okay, And do you get a reaction from the flirt? 0:22:35.480 --> 0:22:39.400 Sometimes or sometimes they go, oh, walk away. It can't 0:22:39.440 --> 0:22:42.879 be seen near him. He's crazy, you know, hot, but 0:22:42.960 --> 0:22:43.600 he's crazy. 0:22:45.920 --> 0:22:48.840 Now it's time for my current addiction. 0:22:49.480 --> 0:22:56.000 Hello, I'm Mick, and my current addiction are vascular twenty 0:22:56.080 --> 0:23:01.120 six inch thighs because they lead up to a vascular 0:23:02.960 --> 0:23:06.640 nine inches. That's my current addiction. 0:23:07.200 --> 0:23:12.159 I can't think of anything that paul an addiction? What 0:23:12.280 --> 0:23:19.200 about smoking weed? Yeah, well, smoking pot is a light 0:23:19.440 --> 0:23:20.560 lung en devor. 0:23:23.000 --> 0:23:25.160 I would not say smoking pot is an addiction. 0:23:25.359 --> 0:23:26.240 I would get not. 0:23:26.680 --> 0:23:27.720 No, it's a vocation. 0:23:28.160 --> 0:23:29.439 It's a necessity. 0:23:30.480 --> 0:23:31.080 There you happy? 0:23:31.880 --> 0:23:39.879 Okay? Before apps, how'd you know someone was gay? For me? 0:23:41.600 --> 0:23:46.320 It was always you glanced at someone, but it was 0:23:46.480 --> 0:23:50.440 more than a glance. It was like taking a second 0:23:50.640 --> 0:23:56.399 look at them. And that's how I discovered if someone 0:23:56.560 --> 0:23:59.280 was gay, it's called gay dar. 0:24:00.520 --> 0:24:04.800 Well, gata art would be sonar because eye contact is 0:24:04.880 --> 0:24:06.920 I can't think it's visual. 0:24:07.880 --> 0:24:12.119 Yeah, maybe I'm just spiking for myself. But you know, 0:24:12.359 --> 0:24:17.440 you just get this sense booking at someone and if 0:24:17.480 --> 0:24:21.760 you study him for any length of time, you just 0:24:22.040 --> 0:24:28.440 pick up all nuances and I just think I instinctively 0:24:28.680 --> 0:24:30.720 know that that person's gay. 0:24:31.160 --> 0:24:35.919 Well, I usually the opinion, well, I'm not sure. So 0:24:36.119 --> 0:24:39.840 it's always eye contact, as Bill says, And you know, 0:24:39.920 --> 0:24:41.639 the eyes of the mirrors of the soul, and you 0:24:42.200 --> 0:24:44.959 get a feeling that somebody is really interested, and then 0:24:45.000 --> 0:24:47.640 you kind of cozy up to that person and you know, 0:24:47.960 --> 0:24:52.560 and then before you know it, you're kissing. It's instinctual. 0:24:52.960 --> 0:24:55.840 It's part of it is risk because you don't know, 0:24:56.280 --> 0:24:59.159 but you have to there In doing so, you have 0:24:59.280 --> 0:25:04.080 opened yourself up, you know, and and you know that's 0:25:04.119 --> 0:25:07.000 that's part of dating, is that you know chances are 0:25:07.560 --> 0:25:10.119 it's not going to end well even if you're you know, 0:25:10.160 --> 0:25:14.960 have had ten twenty dates. Most of these things, we've 0:25:15.040 --> 0:25:18.399 all had them in our gay lives are not very long. 0:25:18.960 --> 0:25:21.080 And I just look at people and I don't look away. 0:25:21.320 --> 0:25:24.400 I don't say anything, but I'll just smile at you 0:25:24.640 --> 0:25:25.560 while you're going. 0:25:26.600 --> 0:25:29.960 What will break the eyes and cause you to say 0:25:30.040 --> 0:25:34.639 something to the person? If do they have to speak first, 0:25:35.600 --> 0:25:36.680 they wink at it. 0:25:37.040 --> 0:25:40.720 I wink at them, but I still don't say anything. 0:25:41.480 --> 0:25:43.480 I've never winked at someone. 0:25:44.080 --> 0:25:46.879 I just look at their crouch and they look at mine. 0:25:48.280 --> 0:25:51.040 Do you remember saying the word boyfriend for the first time? 0:25:51.520 --> 0:25:54.280 And was it a big deal? It would have been 0:25:54.720 --> 0:26:00.480 college here minus after No, I read in the day. 0:26:00.520 --> 0:26:04.000 We didn't do that. No, No, we just prayed and 0:26:04.040 --> 0:26:05.320 went on to the next prayer. 0:26:05.600 --> 0:26:07.720 We just went about our business. 0:26:08.200 --> 0:26:10.600 I think it was because something have to do with 0:26:10.720 --> 0:26:13.560 straight girls in high school, and you kind of went, 0:26:14.480 --> 0:26:15.679 I don't want a boyfriend. 0:26:17.040 --> 0:26:20.720 Boyfriends are something you have between lovers, kind of like 0:26:20.760 --> 0:26:24.320 an appetizer, an Intermetso. 0:26:24.080 --> 0:26:27.320 Oh see, those are tricks. Those are boyfriends. 0:26:27.560 --> 0:26:31.160 How many dates does it take to be a boyfriend? 0:26:31.960 --> 0:26:32.840 Sometimes one? 0:26:34.400 --> 0:26:35.639 He's the authority on it. 0:26:36.200 --> 0:26:44.080 No, I would say three, three, I'm easy And now 0:26:44.960 --> 0:26:49.760 a short word from me, make What are your tips 0:26:49.840 --> 0:26:54.560 on dating for a gay man who's just starting up. 0:26:55.440 --> 0:26:58.840 Go with what you like. If you're going to pick somebody, up, 0:26:58.920 --> 0:27:02.840 do it in a safe place, but you have to 0:27:02.920 --> 0:27:05.919 be really attracted to that person. And if you're just 0:27:06.080 --> 0:27:09.280 coming out, then you're going to look for somebody who 0:27:09.359 --> 0:27:12.920 has a little more experience than you, probably a lot 0:27:13.000 --> 0:27:15.840 more experience than you, because you're going to have to 0:27:15.920 --> 0:27:21.520 learn something and that's how you start. But you kind 0:27:21.560 --> 0:27:24.640 of have to look for the right person, not somebody 0:27:24.640 --> 0:27:29.400 who's going to like abuse you or somebody who's going 0:27:29.480 --> 0:27:32.359 to take advantage of you, because there's a lot of 0:27:32.359 --> 0:27:37.359 that in the gay community, particularly with predators, and they're 0:27:37.400 --> 0:27:43.560 not necessarily older men. They can be much younger. That's 0:27:43.640 --> 0:27:46.600 the advice of it. Plus also read The Joy of 0:27:46.640 --> 0:27:50.200 Gay Sex or start watching as much porn as possible. 0:27:50.280 --> 0:27:50.880 I do. 0:27:53.400 --> 0:27:58.600 Are you dating now? Why or why not? And what 0:27:58.640 --> 0:28:00.640 does dating look like to you? 0:28:00.720 --> 0:28:01.080 Now? 0:28:01.720 --> 0:28:06.720