Speaker 1: Ruby.
Speaker 2: See that's a trick. Those are boyfriends.
Speaker 3: Yes, young people go to bars these days, but they
Speaker 3: go to bars to socialize, and then they go home
Speaker 3: and they get on the internet to pick somebody up.
Speaker 1: I just look at their cross and they look at mine.
Speaker 2: From just beyond the lights of Los Angeles and steamy
Speaker 2: Palm Springs, California, it's Mick Robert Bill just say, and
Speaker 2: this is silver lightning.
Speaker 3: With the old days. Well, hello again, lovers. Bill, are
Speaker 3: you feeling frisky?
Speaker 2: That can only mean one.
Speaker 1: Thing and I'm already blushing.
Speaker 3: Today's episode is about first crushes, romance, heartbreak, and relationships.
Speaker 2: And flirting back when it required nerve, eye contact.
Speaker 3: And a decent mustache.
Speaker 1: Growing up, gay crushes weren't exactly simple at the time.
Speaker 3: You didn't know what you were feeling.
Speaker 2: You just knew your stomach flipped when a certain someone walked.
Speaker 3: By, and you tried very hard not to stare in
Speaker 3: the locker room. Speak for yourself, I am.
Speaker 1: When we got started, there were no apps.
Speaker 3: No swiping lift, no profile pictures.
Speaker 2: Just vibes and energy. Irl.
Speaker 1: So today we're going back to secret crushes.
Speaker 2: Important relationships, and the first time we dared to say
Speaker 2: the word boyfriend out loud. So turn on your gaitar.
Speaker 1: Silver Lightnings begins now.
Speaker 2: To kick things off. Who here remembers their very first crush.
Speaker 3: Well, my first crush was a guy by name of Roger,
Speaker 3: and I was working in a men's store when I
Speaker 3: was in high school. I worked twenty hours a week
Speaker 3: and Roger started coming into the store quite often, and
Speaker 3: I walked to work from my house. So he started
Speaker 3: asking me if i'd like a ride home.
Speaker 1: You took rides from strangers.
Speaker 3: Well, we'd talked about four or five times. He was
Speaker 3: my age and so I didn't see anything wrong with that,
Speaker 3: and I didn't really know what to think of him.
Speaker 3: I thought there was something there, but I didn't know.
Speaker 3: And one night he'd pulled into the driveway. We were
Speaker 3: just sitting there talking. We were out of sight of
Speaker 3: the house and that, and when he said goodbye to me,
Speaker 3: he leaned over and he kissed me on the ear.
Speaker 1: And I stick in your ear, no, no tongue.
Speaker 3: And I was so confused. I mean, I knew I
Speaker 3: was gay and I was out, and I had had
Speaker 3: had sex with other men, but I was just completely
Speaker 3: taken back. And we saw each other as much as
Speaker 3: we could. In fact, one weekend we took off and
Speaker 3: we drove up to San Francisco and just had the
Speaker 3: greatest time up there. I mean we were both underage,
Speaker 3: but in San Francisco in those days, they didn't care
Speaker 3: how old you were to serve you a dream and
Speaker 3: we just had an absolutely marvelous time. So that was
Speaker 3: my first crush. My first crush was when I was
Speaker 3: in the seventh grade Annie Camp Junior High School, Donsbur, Arkansas.
Speaker 3: I remember it very vividly, but this new boy moved
Speaker 3: to town, Billy Earlkeith, and I just thought he was
Speaker 3: so dreamy. I would just stare at him whenever he
Speaker 3: would enter a room, and he was real popular with
Speaker 3: girls and the cheerleaders and all of that. And somehow
Speaker 3: I invited him over to the house one week and
Speaker 3: for a sleepover. And it was Friday night because Saturday
Speaker 3: was the busy day at the store, because all the
Speaker 3: farmers would come into town to do their shopping, and
Speaker 3: so my mom, dad, and two brothers would go and
Speaker 3: work at the shop and I was left alone with
Speaker 3: Billy Earl. And in the morning we woke up and
Speaker 3: I remember asking him what like kissing the cheerleaders, and
Speaker 3: he said, here, let me show you, and he planted
Speaker 3: a big kiss on my lips that I remember to
Speaker 3: this day. And then we kind of toussled about in
Speaker 3: the bed for probably about and now.
Speaker 1: And so what did you do?
Speaker 3: Well, keep in mind seventh grade, that's around twelve years old,
Speaker 3: and you know things are changing, and being the first
Speaker 3: and having never seen porn or anything at that time,
Speaker 3: I didn't have too much instruction, so it was very exploratory.
Speaker 2: How fun?
Speaker 3: And did you continue to see him after that?
Speaker 1: I would?
Speaker 3: We would get together periodically after that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what did you explore?
Speaker 3: Well, we explored each other's crevices.
Speaker 1: Oh, come on before, we can't.
Speaker 2: That just ruined the whole thing. Say what about you?
Speaker 2: We've had enough of you. My first crush was my
Speaker 2: cousin's boyfriend. His name was Cephas. He was the most
Speaker 2: handsome jit black man with this perfect body, and I
Speaker 2: would go lay my head on his lap, but I
Speaker 2: would turn my face down and nobody knew what was
Speaker 2: going on. And I can't believe now looking back at
Speaker 2: I go tang. I was real small when that happened,
Speaker 2: so I was out to myself early I just we
Speaker 2: just had to play the games with the rest of
Speaker 2: the world and date everybody the women, which was sad.
Speaker 2: But Cephus was wool What a man, what a maddic
Speaker 2: good man he was. So that was it one time
Speaker 2: in the crotch and then.
Speaker 1: Uh, that reminds me of a story. Mark was my
Speaker 1: next door damer. He was four years older than I was,
Speaker 1: so this probably was it in the summer that he
Speaker 1: between are his junior and senior year in high school
Speaker 1: and wherever I was seventh and eighth grade, wherever that was, well,
Speaker 1: he taught me how to suck cock, and then he
Speaker 1: also taught me how to differentiate between guys who did
Speaker 1: what we did and guys who didn't, and that you
Speaker 1: really had to, you know, kind of suss their way there.
Speaker 1: And so in a lot of ways, Mark was not
Speaker 1: only my first crush as well, but he also was
Speaker 1: a mentor. And I find now looking back that these
Speaker 1: are the type of people that I have led into
Speaker 1: my life because each time I've been in a relationship
Speaker 1: in which I really developed a crush on somebody that
Speaker 1: it's been a lasting impact and they've always invited me
Speaker 1: something about the truth about theirselves, and so I'm always
Speaker 1: interested in learning more, and I guess that's where it
Speaker 1: started from.
Speaker 2: And so it is.
Speaker 3: I can remember other crushes John Hattner. He was on
Speaker 3: the football team and had a real nice compact, muscular body,
Speaker 3: and I was taking drawing lessons at the time, and
Speaker 3: so I managed to get him to come over one
Speaker 3: day to pose for a figure drawing for me, and
Speaker 3: he took off falls clothes except for his underwear, and
Speaker 3: I drew him, but sadly, he brought a friend along
Speaker 3: with him to make sure that nothing happened.
Speaker 1: A smart guy.
Speaker 2: He couldn't hand you by himself.
Speaker 3: No, I think he did.
Speaker 2: He know it out.
Speaker 3: This isn't going beyond drawing. What's one significant romantic or
Speaker 3: sexual experience you had in your early years that you
Speaker 3: will always remember.
Speaker 1: Mark, Oh, you people can't see. But the guy Bob
Speaker 1: just licked his lips and then he said, Mark.
Speaker 3: Well, this was soon after I had moved to San Francisco.
Speaker 3: I moved there in nineteen eighty and lived in one
Speaker 3: place for a few months, and then me and my
Speaker 3: roommates moved to another place, which was just a few
Speaker 3: blocks away from Buena Vista Park in San Francisco, which
Speaker 3: was notorious for gay cruising. And one day I was
Speaker 3: walking with my dog through a path that cut through
Speaker 3: the bushes and came into a clearing, and in the
Speaker 3: middle of the clearing was this beautiful blond young man
Speaker 3: who was sunning himself and a very skimpy bathing suit,
Speaker 3: and he stared up at me with his big blue eyes,
Speaker 3: and we struck a conversation and he went with me
Speaker 3: down to the house and we had a really nice time.
Speaker 3: You left the dog at the park, No, the dog.
Speaker 3: The dog came with you are so cruel, Bob.
Speaker 1: But anyway, well.
Speaker 3: That was a very memorable day, and you remember it,
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, somehow, I remember it well. When I was
Speaker 3: living in Laguna Beach when I was twenty years old,
Speaker 3: my mom she'd take the family down to the beach
Speaker 3: every summer for a week, and she asked me to
Speaker 3: go and find a house for us. And so I
Speaker 3: went down into a real estate office and a realtor,
Speaker 3: his name was John. He helped me and then he
Speaker 3: sent me out with one of his workers to find
Speaker 3: a house. We found it. I came back and he said,
Speaker 3: you know, stop by for coffee anytime you want. And
Speaker 3: I didn't take him up on it. I mean, he
Speaker 3: was forty five and I was twenty years old.
Speaker 2: Perfect.
Speaker 3: And during that summer, when my mom was down there,
Speaker 3: a friend of mine invited me to a party and
Speaker 3: John was there. And John invited me out to dinner
Speaker 3: the next night, and I said okay, and we went
Speaker 3: to the Berkshires in Newport Beach and we started off
Speaker 3: with shrimp cocktails, then Chateaubrion, then a Grand Marnier Sioux Fla,
Speaker 3: and John was literally trying to win my heart over
Speaker 3: by just lavishing, you know, gifts and cloth. I was
Speaker 3: about to go to Orange Coast College for the semesters,
Speaker 3: so we flew to San Francisco and bought my new
Speaker 3: school clothes at Cable Car Clothes.
Speaker 1: You remember all this stuff.
Speaker 2: Bill Tea members everything before Jesus came.
Speaker 3: Where was in Newport It was right across from the arches,
Speaker 3: oh sure. And then John started to not really pay
Speaker 3: much attention to business. He was too busy with me.
Speaker 3: We were having a great time, and eventually we decided
Speaker 3: that it just wasn't working out. Why there wasn't really
Speaker 3: any love on my part or there was someone who
Speaker 3: was just adoring me with things sort of.
Speaker 1: And what's wrong with that?
Speaker 2: He ran out of money?
Speaker 1: I mean forty five and twenty you kind of get
Speaker 1: the feeling that you know, he's kind to show you.
Speaker 2: Trying to buy by you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but what just say was really true. He did
Speaker 3: run out of money, and I.
Speaker 2: Because you wasn't cheap ring at the ill.
Speaker 1: It's like the old song you had a lot of
Speaker 1: money nineteen twenty nine. You don't get a little mo
Speaker 1: market or you are such a swine. Why don't you
Speaker 1: do right like some other men?
Speaker 3: Do?
Speaker 1: Get me some money and I'll see a real soup?
Speaker 1: Is that what you you? This little gold digger you
Speaker 1: at twenty I.
Speaker 3: Wasn't trying to be a gold digger, but that was
Speaker 3: just an experience that I had. And one thing that
Speaker 3: really taught me because I I didn't have any money myself,
Speaker 3: was all of a sudden, I was absolutely broke, and
Speaker 3: I learned very quickly that you have to have your
Speaker 3: own money to be a person. You just can't have
Speaker 3: it slatthered on you.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'll go next, if you don't mind. Oh, dude,
Speaker 2: my very first time experiencing what I'd been looking for
Speaker 2: at Love was when I was at the Parliament House.
Speaker 2: Tellan Orlando, I'm standing there with my roommate from college,
Speaker 2: and I hear this yummy voice over me asking me
Speaker 2: to dance. That I turn around and look up to
Speaker 2: this handsome man, Samuel Coleman Washington, and we danced, and
Speaker 2: then I went home with him, and he went to
Speaker 2: work the next day, and I cleaned his house and
Speaker 2: emptied out all the pot because I didn't know weed
Speaker 2: was really weed. And he comes home and has a
Speaker 2: heart attack. But we dated for five awesome years. Unfortunately,
Speaker 2: drugs is what separated us, because he was vice president
Speaker 2: of a bank and doing really well, and the drugs
Speaker 2: just took over. And it was sad because I really
Speaker 2: loved him, but we had some wonderful times that I
Speaker 2: am forever indebted for him in introducing true love to
Speaker 2: me what I was expecting from it. I mean, as
Speaker 2: our relationship grew and he cleared up. But what an
Speaker 2: amazing man. And it's said that his life ended so early
Speaker 2: because we'd probably still be dating if he were living.
Speaker 2: So sad it is. It is because he was truly
Speaker 2: a He was good to me, good to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do have another one. I think it was
Speaker 1: my senior year in college I came out, but before
Speaker 1: I did, I went to see a psychologist, a gay
Speaker 1: psychologist up in Minneapolis. And he's a very handsome man,
Speaker 1: and he kind of cleared up some misconceptions I had
Speaker 1: about gay people. And then he what you're not supposed
Speaker 1: to do. He invited me out for dinner, and then
Speaker 1: he took me home and he taught me some more
Speaker 1: about things to do. And I have to say he
Speaker 1: also had a lover who evidently found out about this
Speaker 1: date that he was having and came over the next morning.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 1: Oh, it was the first time I was treated to
Speaker 1: that kind of scene. I was growing up fast. But
Speaker 1: I have to tell you, this guy was hot sex
Speaker 1: and I remember that one. I don't remember his name,
Speaker 1: but I remember him.
Speaker 3: Now, you went to the psychologist on your own. Your
Speaker 3: parents didn't send you in.
Speaker 1: No, no, my parents didn't say, oh no, they wouldn't
Speaker 1: have sent me to a gay psychologist for real. This
Speaker 1: guy brought me out. Well. Moving on, what are your
Speaker 1: earliest memories of flirting?
Speaker 3: Ah, I kind of didn't think I flirted, but everyone
Speaker 3: else thought I did. Yes, Sometimes you don't know when
Speaker 3: you're flirting exactly exactly. It's kind of an un conscious
Speaker 3: reaction to someone you're attracted to.
Speaker 2: And you don't know.
Speaker 1: No, Wow, it wouldn't be unconscious, it would be your subconscious.
Speaker 2: I just become overly friendly. Okay, you just say, I
Speaker 2: just get gooddy giddy giddy, and I get quiet.
Speaker 1: Mmm.
Speaker 2: Surprisingly, I know it's hard for you to believe.
Speaker 1: I guess it's the first time I actually understood what
Speaker 1: the word flirting meant was, and I did it unconsciously.
Speaker 1: It was in the eighth grade and I looked around
Speaker 1: to the room. There was a kid in the other room.
Speaker 1: His name was Scott, and he was built kid and
Speaker 1: really wild one. He was the first one who took
Speaker 1: his middle finger blew me a kiss, and he did
Speaker 1: it at that point in the eighth grade. And then
Speaker 1: he called me a dirty old man. And I just
Speaker 1: in eighth grade. I just well, First of all, I thought,
Speaker 1: how does he you know that? To this day I
Speaker 1: keep looking for him, but I can never find him.
Speaker 2: He put the finger in the wrong hole.
Speaker 1: Maybe if Scott is listening out there, he knows, you know,
Speaker 1: look me up.
Speaker 3: Call me.
Speaker 1: Usually when I think it is what you're not even
Speaker 1: aware that you're flirting and somebody calls you out on it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's when it becomes embarrassing.
Speaker 2: I can't imagine you flirting.
Speaker 1: No, Bob is not a flirt.
Speaker 2: I know, Bill, I could see is a flirt. Bill's
Speaker 2: a tease. Yeah, it.
Speaker 3: Kind of a refined art.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 3: I think where I got my flirting was basically working
Speaker 3: in a men's store, because you are flirting with your customers.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, can I interest you in a jockstrap? Did you
Speaker 1: ever say that at the store? Sure, you haven't picked
Speaker 1: up your jock strap yet.
Speaker 3: No, but I did wait on two guys and they
Speaker 3: were looking for bathing suits. So I looked up and
Speaker 3: I showed them, you know, a surfer bathing suit, you know,
Speaker 3: like you hang ten on that. Yeah, And they said
Speaker 3: to me, well, where do you put your jewels? And
Speaker 3: I no idea what they were talking about.
Speaker 1: They weren't family jewels. Yeah, that's very fell the shrink
Speaker 1: of the sixties, that's exactly when it was, yeah sixties. Yeah,
Speaker 1: now we referred to it as you're junk. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: What's the most embarrassing flirt moment that you can remember?
Speaker 1: The Only time I've ever had an embarrassing flirt is
Speaker 1: when I'm running to the door. You know, you got
Speaker 1: to give a person of the fine. I've done it
Speaker 1: in the supermarket. I've done it, like at Gelson's in
Speaker 1: West Hollywood. I would be in a little card like
Speaker 1: we look over and I just run over a display.
Speaker 1: I have done that. I have done that.
Speaker 3: Okay, And do you get a reaction from the flirt?
Speaker 1: Sometimes or sometimes they go, oh, walk away. It can't
Speaker 1: be seen near him. He's crazy, you know, hot, but
Speaker 1: he's crazy.
Speaker 3: Now it's time for my current addiction.
Speaker 1: Hello, I'm Mick, and my current addiction are vascular twenty
Speaker 1: six inch thighs because they lead up to a vascular
Speaker 1: nine inches. That's my current addiction.
Speaker 3: I can't think of anything that paul an addiction? What
Speaker 3: about smoking weed? Yeah, well, smoking pot is a light
Speaker 3: lung en devor.
Speaker 1: I would not say smoking pot is an addiction.
Speaker 2: I would get not.
Speaker 1: No, it's a vocation.
Speaker 3: It's a necessity.
Speaker 1: There you happy?
Speaker 2: Okay? Before apps, how'd you know someone was gay? For me?
Speaker 3: It was always you glanced at someone, but it was
Speaker 3: more than a glance. It was like taking a second
Speaker 3: look at them. And that's how I discovered if someone
Speaker 3: was gay, it's called gay dar.
Speaker 1: Well, gata art would be sonar because eye contact is
Speaker 1: I can't think it's visual.
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe I'm just spiking for myself. But you know,
Speaker 3: you just get this sense booking at someone and if
Speaker 3: you study him for any length of time, you just
Speaker 3: pick up all nuances and I just think I instinctively
Speaker 3: know that that person's gay.
Speaker 1: Well, I usually the opinion, well, I'm not sure. So
Speaker 1: it's always eye contact, as Bill says, And you know,
Speaker 1: the eyes of the mirrors of the soul, and you
Speaker 1: get a feeling that somebody is really interested, and then
Speaker 1: you kind of cozy up to that person and you know,
Speaker 1: and then before you know it, you're kissing. It's instinctual.
Speaker 1: It's part of it is risk because you don't know,
Speaker 1: but you have to there In doing so, you have
Speaker 1: opened yourself up, you know, and and you know that's
Speaker 1: that's part of dating, is that you know chances are
Speaker 1: it's not going to end well even if you're you know,
Speaker 1: have had ten twenty dates. Most of these things, we've
Speaker 1: all had them in our gay lives are not very long.
Speaker 2: And I just look at people and I don't look away.
Speaker 2: I don't say anything, but I'll just smile at you
Speaker 2: while you're going.
Speaker 3: What will break the eyes and cause you to say
Speaker 3: something to the person? If do they have to speak first,
Speaker 3: they wink at it.
Speaker 2: I wink at them, but I still don't say anything.
Speaker 3: I've never winked at someone.
Speaker 1: I just look at their crouch and they look at mine.
Speaker 2: Do you remember saying the word boyfriend for the first time?
Speaker 2: And was it a big deal? It would have been
Speaker 2: college here minus after No, I read in the day.
Speaker 2: We didn't do that. No, No, we just prayed and
Speaker 2: went on to the next prayer.
Speaker 3: We just went about our business.
Speaker 1: I think it was because something have to do with
Speaker 1: straight girls in high school, and you kind of went,
Speaker 1: I don't want a boyfriend.
Speaker 3: Boyfriends are something you have between lovers, kind of like
Speaker 3: an appetizer, an Intermetso.
Speaker 2: Oh see, those are tricks. Those are boyfriends.
Speaker 3: How many dates does it take to be a boyfriend?
Speaker 2: Sometimes one?
Speaker 1: He's the authority on it.
Speaker 3: No, I would say three, three, I'm easy And now
Speaker 3: a short word from me, make What are your tips
Speaker 3: on dating for a gay man who's just starting up.
Speaker 1: Go with what you like. If you're going to pick somebody, up,
Speaker 1: do it in a safe place, but you have to
Speaker 1: be really attracted to that person. And if you're just
Speaker 1: coming out, then you're going to look for somebody who
Speaker 1: has a little more experience than you, probably a lot
Speaker 1: more experience than you, because you're going to have to
Speaker 1: learn something and that's how you start. But you kind
Speaker 1: of have to look for the right person, not somebody
Speaker 1: who's going to like abuse you or somebody who's going
Speaker 1: to take advantage of you, because there's a lot of
Speaker 1: that in the gay community, particularly with predators, and they're
Speaker 1: not necessarily older men. They can be much younger. That's
Speaker 1: the advice of it. Plus also read The Joy of
Speaker 1: Gay Sex or start watching as much porn as possible.
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 3: Are you dating now? Why or why not? And what
Speaker 3: does dating look like to you?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 3: I am not dating. I feel like right now, at
Speaker 3: this point in my life, my life is so full.
Speaker 3: If I date someone, I feel an obligation to spend
Speaker 3: a certain amount of time with that person, and right
Speaker 3: now I don't feel like I had that time to spend.
Speaker 2: You don't neither do I.
Speaker 1: I would say that I don't think dating as we
Speaker 1: used to see it exists anymore. For people, no anybody
Speaker 1: today today's dating scene. If you go in the dating scene,
Speaker 1: to me, it's you work on getting together with a
Speaker 1: guy and then maybe or maybe not, it'll happen. And
Speaker 1: so you kind of have a You have to take
Speaker 1: a more objective stance. You can't be subjected. You have
Speaker 1: to say, well, it didn't work out the last time.
Speaker 2: With the dating. Now, there's so many stories that are
Speaker 2: made up, and I ask a lot more questions of
Speaker 2: people now. The main things I say is I need
Speaker 2: to see your face. That's where it starts, because a
Speaker 2: body could be anybody's body, but I want to make
Speaker 2: sure you're connected to that name that you're coming from.
Speaker 2: For me, then that's why I like facetiming, because of
Speaker 2: all the AI and the fake stuff. And I tell them,
Speaker 2: I says, I don't have time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, gosh, when you think about it today, it is
Speaker 3: so different than when we were growing up. I mean,
Speaker 3: we went on actual dates.
Speaker 1: They used to call those dinner dates. Yeah, and they
Speaker 1: were or you were invited. Somebody said, well, I'm going
Speaker 1: to take you to friends for dinner. I'd like you
Speaker 1: to meet them or something like that. That's sort of
Speaker 1: the social scene in Hollywood, and so I can't tell
Speaker 1: you the number of dinners I've gone to.
Speaker 3: I remember in the sixties and the seventies, the main
Speaker 3: way that I went out to pick up people was bars. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that was the mainstay. And the beauty of that you
Speaker 3: could they were right in front of you. You could
Speaker 3: tell that they were real, and they talked to you,
Speaker 3: and you could find out in a nano second whether
Speaker 3: this is going to work or not. But I mean,
Speaker 3: that was my whole I mean, I hate to admit
Speaker 3: that my whole time picking up people was just going
Speaker 3: to bars, but that's the way it was.
Speaker 2: It was wonderful we didn't have all the internet mess
Speaker 2: right exactly.
Speaker 1: And accept that. You know, I'll argue the other side
Speaker 1: just to point out the fact that you know, when
Speaker 1: you're like on one of the apps and you know,
Speaker 1: you're free to ask how big is your dick, you know,
Speaker 1: and then they'll usually send you a picture next to
Speaker 1: a beer can, so you know you can relate.
Speaker 3: And I think another thing that's really changed is, yes,
Speaker 3: young people go to bars these days, but they go
Speaker 3: to bars to socialize and then they go home and
Speaker 3: they get on the internet to pick somebody up.
Speaker 2: And make sure you look like that picture. That's all
Speaker 2: I say. Yeah, But I love being honest about the
Speaker 2: age thing because when I was the younger one, I
Speaker 2: always wanted to see the person because the age didn't
Speaker 2: bother me. It was just like, do you look your age?
Speaker 2: I just wanted that honesty. Is this what you look
Speaker 2: like today? Because that looks like an old black and
Speaker 2: white picture that was touched up. Give me the face,
Speaker 2: and my thing is do you like to make out?
Speaker 2: I'm gonna make out freak, so gotta have lips. And then.
Speaker 1: Usually I just kind of snuggle up to the I
Speaker 1: was going to say cuddle.
Speaker 2: I was very goo.
Speaker 1: I just kind of go bring myself up and see
Speaker 1: if their lips mean mine, and then we get started.
Speaker 1: See we go right for kissy face. Yeah. I don't
Speaker 1: go for embracing anything that comes later.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it follows in order.
Speaker 1: You got to plant that kiss, even if it's a
Speaker 1: French one. Even oh, even if it's a French one.
Speaker 1: Eat that's even better. If it's a French right away
Speaker 1: or or they you know, they kind of just wet
Speaker 1: your entire mouth with their tongue and then they go
Speaker 1: for your face. Oh yeah, eat your chin, you'll go
Speaker 1: for your neck and eyes.
Speaker 3: But then there's the bad ones that there miles, you're
Speaker 3: like opecting this romantic kiss and you just go bye
Speaker 3: bye bye, and then a tongue comes out and the linking.
Speaker 1: Oh oh, well, you know.
Speaker 3: Anyways, what has surprised you or changed your perspective about
Speaker 3: long term relationships as you've gotten older?
Speaker 2: I don't have one.
Speaker 3: Bill, I've learned that they don't work. Really, Why haven't
Speaker 3: you had long term relationships? Yes, but my last one
Speaker 3: ended up on such a sour note that it's just
Speaker 3: soured me for the entire relationship thing. I've been I've
Speaker 3: had two long term relationships, one for five years and
Speaker 3: one for sixteen years, and the way they've ended, I've
Speaker 3: been single now for thirty years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've had I guess you could say three extensive relationships.
Speaker 1: The longest one was in the middle and that was
Speaker 1: for twenty five years. My perspective since that time, it's
Speaker 1: a lot of work. You got to know more about
Speaker 1: the person before you jump in, because things don't always
Speaker 1: appear to what they first seem to be, and you've
Speaker 1: got to understand that the person opposite from you is
Speaker 1: coming from who knows where, and they've got their own
Speaker 1: issues in life, and that what happens is is their
Speaker 1: issues become your issues, and your issues become his, and
Speaker 1: you have to start working it out together, and that
Speaker 1: can take a long time. Honestly, I haven't really looked
Speaker 1: for one, especially now since I've had to deal in
Speaker 1: the last ten years with a chronic illness. You know,
Speaker 1: the most important person right now is me. I have
Speaker 1: to take care of meat, because if I don't take
Speaker 1: care of me, how can I be of any any
Speaker 1: enjoyment from another person. So I look at relationships now
Speaker 1: differently and that it doesn't necessarily have to be a
Speaker 1: relationship that lasts in years. It can last just a
Speaker 1: few weeks. It's fine with me. You know, if you're
Speaker 1: looking for a long term relationship, what I would recommend
Speaker 1: get a dog, Yes, because a dog's love is unconditional. Yes,
Speaker 1: And just remember that to them, you are the most
Speaker 1: important thing in their life. That's why they follow you
Speaker 1: into the bathroom. They want to be with you all
Speaker 1: the time. They love you, and they are so keyed
Speaker 1: into your emotion that you don't even realize how intelligent
Speaker 1: they are. And you know, also understand that you will
Speaker 1: outlive them, So there is going to be grief. But
Speaker 1: that's the way it is in all relationships. All relationships
Speaker 1: at some point end, whether through death or whether when
Speaker 1: you just say it's time to call it a day.
Speaker 2: Yep, it's true. That's real good, Nick, Yeah, really good.
Speaker 2: So burial.
Speaker 1: Real yeah. But you know I'm also a slut. Just
Speaker 1: remember that.
Speaker 2: Oh no, we haven't forgotten.
Speaker 3: That's an important part my relationship. My long term was
Speaker 3: all I really wanted was someone to grow old with
Speaker 3: and trust. And when that trust broke and that last
Speaker 3: year that we were together, it just pulled the rug
Speaker 3: out from underneath me and put relationships on the bottom
Speaker 3: of my list. I think as we get older, we
Speaker 3: find that our extended families replace part of what we're
Speaker 3: looking for in a long term relationship.
Speaker 2: Never lose the friendship connection because there your family is
Speaker 2: going to be there if you get slapped in the
Speaker 2: face and beat down. So to conclude, what would you
Speaker 2: say is the silver lining about crushes, romance, and partnerships
Speaker 2: in the world today.
Speaker 1: I would say, have them, have them as much as possible,
Speaker 1: whether it's great or whether it's bad. You might have
Speaker 1: a little bit of fun, and like I said, you
Speaker 1: may learn something.
Speaker 3: And I say, go for it. Enjoy the crushes, enjoy
Speaker 3: the relationships, but just know that might come to an end.
Speaker 3: But these are the things that really make life great
Speaker 3: for us. These are the up parts to me for
Speaker 3: our lives, So don't try to avoid them, jump in
Speaker 3: and have as much fun as you can. I suck
Speaker 3: at that, yes, and having been through a lot over
Speaker 3: the course of our lives, we kind of know what
Speaker 3: to expect and we can empathize with younger people who
Speaker 3: are facing issues as they're growing up, and we can
Speaker 3: become their mentors.
Speaker 2: I'm one of the young people. I'm claiming it still,
Speaker 2: Oh okay.
Speaker 3: Silver Linings is a production of Iheart's Ruby Studios and
Speaker 3: The Outspoken Network. We're your hosts Bill Lyons.
Speaker 2: Robert Reeves, and Jesse Martin. Our executive producer is Sierra Kaiser,
Speaker 2: Supervising producer Kelly Kyle, Story production Ryan Amador, with post
Speaker 2: production by Eric Zeiler Sea in two weeks.
Speaker 3: My whole outlook towards religion was through their art and music.
Speaker 3: To this day, I believe that Bird was an angel.
Speaker 2: The big people up in the pulpit they're human too.