Speaker 1: Hi.
Speaker 2: Everyone.
Speaker 1: In today's special episode of How Rude Tanneritos, we will
Speaker 1: be discussing eating disorders and diet culture as portrayed in
Speaker 1: the Shape Up episode. If these topics are triggering in
Speaker 1: any sort of way, please feel the freedom to skip
Speaker 1: this episode and we'll catch you next week. We invited
Speaker 1: a holistic nutritionist and coach, Melanie Samuels, to join us
Speaker 1: for this important discussion, and she has a really eye
Speaker 1: opening approach to nutrition that helps people improve their relationship
Speaker 1: with food. If you, or anyone you know is struggling
Speaker 1: with disordered eating, we encourage you to visit the website
Speaker 1: National Eatingdisorders dot org or call the National Alliances for
Speaker 1: Eating Disorders helpline at one eight six six six six
Speaker 1: two one two three five. Please be well and take
Speaker 1: care of yourselves. We love you. Hello, Hey, what's up?
Speaker 3: Hi?
Speaker 2: What's up? Hey?
Speaker 1: I'm feeling great? What I'm feeling great?
Speaker 2: You are?
Speaker 1: How are you feeling?
Speaker 2: Hired?
Speaker 4: Like? I?
Speaker 3: Well, it's been it's been a it's been a busy
Speaker 3: week and it's been one of those weeks where you're like,
Speaker 3: I didn't like I did things, but I feel like
Speaker 3: seventy percent of what took up my time was driving
Speaker 3: to the things. Oh yeah, you know, yeah, especially it
Speaker 3: was like I had to go the West Side over
Speaker 3: to the valley, to Pasadena.
Speaker 2: To yeah, so yeah.
Speaker 3: But I did get to volunteer some more this week
Speaker 3: with the Baby List and nice helping support some of
Speaker 3: the LA fire victims, which was really great, great, a
Speaker 3: huge line, lots of people, got all kinds of stuff
Speaker 3: that they really needed.
Speaker 2: So it was it was, uh, it was a really
Speaker 2: great day. Two days. Actually it was great two days.
Speaker 3: But my back is definitely thinking otherwise because I you
Speaker 3: know me, I'm like I jump in and I'm like,
Speaker 3: you know what I should do? I should organize unloading
Speaker 3: the trucks. So I was wondering slipping things.
Speaker 2: On giant dollies from one floor to another. You have
Speaker 2: a muscle, baby.
Speaker 1: Let you go and you lift everything.
Speaker 3: But well it was like me and then like you know,
Speaker 3: a bunch of like heavy guys and I'm like, I
Speaker 3: got it? What am I? Why?
Speaker 2: Why do I need to do that? But it was
Speaker 2: very glad. I just like I like.
Speaker 3: Jumping in and helping and like whatever. The thing that
Speaker 3: looks the most sort of arduous and difficult, I'm like
Speaker 3: I'll help tackle that.
Speaker 1: Good for you. That's a good quality. Yeah, that's a
Speaker 1: good I mean your back. They might not think so,
Speaker 1: but I think yeah. Back.
Speaker 3: I definitely was like, oh, high forty three, how's it going,
Speaker 3: I'll go.
Speaker 2: Lower back.
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, just tired a lot of stuff. I went
Speaker 3: worked out hard today every day.
Speaker 2: This one good for you. Pus the days that I've
Speaker 2: I know, back hurts.
Speaker 1: That's what happens you work out every day.
Speaker 2: I know I've been working out every day. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I'm just I'll take the streak where I can get it,
Speaker 3: because then it'll be I'll just be like, ah, okay.
Speaker 1: Well And as we're recording this, it's January thirtieth. Why
Speaker 1: is January so long? Like I feel like it's the
Speaker 1: seventy fifth day of January.
Speaker 3: Yes, and it does. It feels like, how are we
Speaker 3: still in January? But I feel like once February starts,
Speaker 3: it's going to be November real quick, you know what.
Speaker 1: I mean, It does go quick, especially once you go quick.
Speaker 1: But in the holidays, you know, Mother's.
Speaker 3: Day and Father's Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, I
Speaker 3: can't even I can't even.
Speaker 1: I'm sure target is already selling like Fourth of July decoration,
Speaker 1: Oh for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've stocked up on my Halloween.
Speaker 3: I'm putting it up right afterbr right after Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: So you know that's probably appropriate.
Speaker 2: Forgive us the start on things, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Just really yeah, back to school Halloween style, you know,
Speaker 2: so I'm here for it.
Speaker 1: Wear a costume on the first day of school. I
Speaker 1: think there's a niche, you know.
Speaker 3: I think I think more people should wear costumes in
Speaker 3: their daily life.
Speaker 2: Yes, I think we should just.
Speaker 3: Start showing up cosplaying whatever.
Speaker 2: Just whatever you're into.
Speaker 1: This would be a great Like ice Breaker is, if
Speaker 1: you wear a costume representing whatever it is you're currently into,
Speaker 1: whether you're binge watching Breaking Bad, or you're into a
Speaker 1: certain podcast how tan Rito's. You could wear your merch,
Speaker 1: I don't know, whatever it is. You can just wear
Speaker 1: something that represents your current obsession.
Speaker 3: You could wear a shirt with a turtle yes, on
Speaker 3: a skateboard from from our from our merch. You could
Speaker 3: do that if you want to do that is a
Speaker 3: great idea. But I it's a great idea for like
Speaker 3: those of us that like doing ridiculous stuff.
Speaker 2: I if you did this like at work.
Speaker 3: And I just imagine someone like my husband being told like, hey,
Speaker 3: you have to he'd be like.
Speaker 1: I quit, Oh, he would never he'd wear like a
Speaker 1: Dodger shirt that you know that's.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he wears something, Uh, snarky and sarcastic. Which more credit. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but yeah, I think maybe we should just make everyone
Speaker 3: on our on our zoom do that when we record
Speaker 3: next week.
Speaker 2: Everyone dress up, dress up. No, I mean you can
Speaker 2: if you want to.
Speaker 1: Hey, don't challenge me, don't threaten me with a good time.
Speaker 3: Give us a platform for a stupid idea, because we
Speaker 3: will take it.
Speaker 1: We'll take it, we will run with it. Yes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, which And speaking of I think, uh, do we
Speaker 3: talk about this last week that people were enjoying our
Speaker 3: unhinged minisode where we played every character.
Speaker 2: I don't know have we talked about that since it aired.
Speaker 1: I don't think we have.
Speaker 2: I don't think we have.
Speaker 1: People apparently, I think they liked it. I think we.
Speaker 3: Were getting a lot of comments that they liked it,
Speaker 3: that it was ridiculous.
Speaker 2: I love it. Uh that we they don't know why
Speaker 2: we don't have that.
Speaker 3: We're not egot winners at this point, given the quality
Speaker 3: of performance.
Speaker 2: Sure, but you know, well we're working on it, guys,
Speaker 2: we're working on it.
Speaker 3: But but yeah, it was I think people enjoyed our craziness.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I just hope that it wasn't confusing. I
Speaker 1: did see some comments people were like, I could picture
Speaker 1: the episode in my mind as you and I were
Speaker 1: reading through it. I think the voiceover the voiceovers are
Speaker 1: what kind of threw me for a loop. Was because
Speaker 1: you're reading Rusty's letter in Stephanie's voice or you know,
Speaker 1: so right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was it was. It was, it was layered,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: Like it was we I think like they picked the
Speaker 3: most challenging episode, like not only are you playing another character,
Speaker 3: but you're playing another character reading another character's note as
Speaker 3: though that, Yeah, it's it.
Speaker 1: Was a lot. I'm confused just listening to you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it was a lot. But it was fun. Well.
Speaker 3: Luckily the fan of Ritos know the shows, yes, so
Speaker 3: than we do way better than we yes, yes. And
Speaker 3: speaking of shows that they know, we just recently did
Speaker 3: the the gym episode, the shape Up episode was it
Speaker 3: shape Up? Yeah, shape up episode where we wanted to
Speaker 3: bring on our friend an incredible guest and nutritionist and
Speaker 3: just all around wonderful person who you guys have heard
Speaker 3: us mentioned before. Mel Samuels, who worked on Fuller House
Speaker 3: of the famous the Kim and Mel duo that you
Speaker 3: guys hear us mentioned so often. Yep, yep, and we
Speaker 3: love her and she is a certified holistic nutritionist and coach.
Speaker 3: So I'm really excited to get her take on that episode,
Speaker 3: and especially you know she watched it growing up, Like,
Speaker 3: what was it? How did that you know, affect our audience? Yeah,
Speaker 3: people that watched her thought today, I'm really.
Speaker 1: Glad to have it and die in the nineties versus
Speaker 1: how we think about it. Wow, Like this is going
Speaker 1: to be a rich conversation. I'm ready for it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yea, for sure. All right, Well let's let's Mel,
Speaker 2: Let's do it. Let her in. It's so good to.
Speaker 1: See your face.
Speaker 3: It's been so yes, I know it's been since our
Speaker 3: what our our PTT uh Health Water Reunion.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well you have to explain almost every word
Speaker 1: of that sentence because.
Speaker 4: When we almost got kicked out of arrest.
Speaker 2: So pt T.
Speaker 1: Is our little group with our port. We call it
Speaker 1: Porch Talk Time. It's Jody, Me, Melanie, and Kim. The
Speaker 1: aforementioned Kim Moffatt, who we talk about frequently on this
Speaker 1: show and.
Speaker 2: Who has co hosted this show. Oh yeah, she did.
Speaker 1: She co hosted an episode where I couldn't be there.
Speaker 1: So she's been on the pod. Now you're on the pod.
Speaker 2: This is a great little mini.
Speaker 1: Reunion for us. Excited. I'm excited for this topic. I'm
Speaker 1: excited to talk about this episode. I'm really really, really
Speaker 1: curious about your thoughts. And thank you so much for
Speaker 1: joining us too, Like, this is great of you to
Speaker 1: take time out of your day.
Speaker 5: Oh well, thank you so much for having me. I'm
Speaker 5: so excited to be here. And just a heads up,
Speaker 5: I have a sick kiddo at home today, so if
Speaker 5: there are any potential interruptions, I apologize.
Speaker 2: I was just about it. I was just about to ask.
Speaker 4: How's the He's good.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she's almost three and a half, which is so wild.
Speaker 5: Time really does fly. But these preschool germs are no jokes.
Speaker 1: It's when they're that little. Never just know.
Speaker 4: It's like every you know, fair game, so making it,
Speaker 4: making it.
Speaker 1: If you need a time or you need to put
Speaker 1: yourself in time out, you need to Yeah, just just
Speaker 1: let us know it's no problem.
Speaker 4: Thank you. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, So tell us, Okay, we gave a little
Speaker 1: brief intro, but tell us what your job is, your title,
Speaker 1: tell us a little bit about the company you founded
Speaker 1: with Melissa Kolia, tell us everything.
Speaker 5: Yes, So I am a certified nutritional therapy practitioner, which
Speaker 5: is just kind of a fancy way of saying holistic nutritionist.
Speaker 5: And I have my own private practice, but right now
Speaker 5: I have been focusing mostly on Live Well, Lead Well,
Speaker 5: which is the company that Melissa Coulier, Dave's wife. I'm
Speaker 5: sure people can make that connection she and I founded,
Speaker 5: and it is a holistic wellness company that helps female
Speaker 5: leaders prioritize their health. So whether that looks like a
Speaker 5: government official or a C suite woman or even someone
Speaker 5: who's the leader of their household, leadership can take on
Speaker 5: so many different roles, and so we help implement nutrition,
Speaker 5: functional movement, and mindfulness through breathwork and journaling and things
Speaker 5: like that into your day so that you can handle
Speaker 5: stressors better. Because stressors aren't going anywhere, but the way
Speaker 5: in which we react to them is the variable here.
Speaker 5: And when you have your health. You can do anything
Speaker 5: with more confidence and more clarity.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I just want to Mel, you've you and
Speaker 3: I have worked together, which I mean I still to
Speaker 3: this day, I'm like, I just hear your voice in
Speaker 3: my head of like, Okay, if you're gonna, you know,
Speaker 3: have a little treat, you have a treat and then you.
Speaker 2: Know, have a vegetable like just you know, like it's now,
Speaker 2: it's not stress, you know.
Speaker 3: But I also have to see you have been working
Speaker 3: with my mom who has diabetes and is really trying
Speaker 3: to control it with you know, health and diet and exercise,
Speaker 3: and also you just made such a huge difference for her.
Speaker 2: You really, I can't.
Speaker 3: Tell you how many times she's been like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 3: I just love Mel. I didn't expect, you know, the
Speaker 3: holistic part of looking at what food does for you.
Speaker 3: What is the you know, the stressor the thing you know,
Speaker 3: what do I turn to food for whatever?
Speaker 2: But you've just you helped so many people.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited to have you a part of this
Speaker 3: conversation because it is super important.
Speaker 4: Thank you. And oh my gosh, I love your mom
Speaker 4: so much.
Speaker 2: She was one of our first guests.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh amazing.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, it's interesting because you know, everyone has
Speaker 5: a food story, and even just between yourself and your mom,
Speaker 5: your food stories are totally different. And I think it's
Speaker 5: something that isn't talked about a lot, and sometimes the
Speaker 5: thoughts that you have in your head about food and
Speaker 5: about your body, there's a very different conversation when you're
Speaker 5: having it with yourself than when you're saying it out
Speaker 5: loud to someone else, because you can learn so much
Speaker 5: more about why you think the way you do about
Speaker 5: health or food when you really figure.
Speaker 4: Out the roots of that story.
Speaker 5: And I think this episode is such an interesting sort
Speaker 5: of snippet on that for DJ, which was so relatable I.
Speaker 4: Think for so many girls, including myself, watching that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I would just the shock of like what
Speaker 3: the diet culture sort of was of that era.
Speaker 2: And I mean I remember it well.
Speaker 3: You know, everything was sugar free, fat free, you know,
Speaker 3: it was all about how to lose weight and how
Speaker 3: to stay skinny and how to you know, and I'm look,
Speaker 3: we haven't gotten completely away from that, but it was
Speaker 3: just such an interesting, interesting kind of juxtaposition between today's
Speaker 3: conversations and nineteen ninety conversations.
Speaker 4: You know, even in the way that and it's a pendulum, yeah.
Speaker 3: And even in the way that the adults handled it
Speaker 3: with DJ, like you know some of the things they said,
Speaker 3: Andrey and I were like, no, what do you oh
Speaker 3: you oh, don't say that.
Speaker 2: Don't that's no.
Speaker 1: But in one of the early scenes, Becky walks into
Speaker 1: the kitchen and finds DJ taping pictures of supermodels onto
Speaker 1: the fridge as her inspiration, so she won't eat when
Speaker 1: she sees these pictures as she's going to the refrigerator.
Speaker 1: And I was like, Becky, that's a red flag, Like
Speaker 1: come on, she would and she gives some good advice
Speaker 1: about healthy eating, but it's just like, did no one
Speaker 1: see any of these red flags coming? DJ was screaming
Speaker 1: it was like yeah, across her forehead.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: And the ice pops right like she's having a conversation
Speaker 5: with everyone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, She's like, no, I'm just sucking on an ice
Speaker 3: cube while everyone's eating cake, totally normal, and all the
Speaker 3: adults are like, okay.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: There was a lot of those little miss signals, and
Speaker 5: that was one of my biggest notes. And the other
Speaker 5: interesting thing about Andrew you had said what Becky said
Speaker 5: was I think you know, this is what makes it
Speaker 5: such a delicate subject because because I think that people
Speaker 5: have a tendency to want to solve other people's problems,
Speaker 5: and it's sort of a form of a love language, right,
Speaker 5: and I'm guilty of that as a parent and a friend. Right,
Speaker 5: I want to solve your problem right then and there
Speaker 5: and provide a solution for you. But the problem is
Speaker 5: is when Becky says, you know, well you just have
Speaker 5: to eat like this and here's the standard meal plan,
Speaker 5: that already makes DJ feel like she has failed because
Speaker 5: she's like, well, what if she's already doing that and
Speaker 5: it's not working for her body, or what if she
Speaker 5: doesn't know how to do that and enjoy it. So
Speaker 5: it's sort of you know, it's a very common thing
Speaker 5: for people to just say, well, just do this and
Speaker 5: this is the result that you will get.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And it sort of categorizes food into good
Speaker 1: food or bad food, where there's that there's a balance.
Speaker 1: You know, DJ's so all or nothing. She's like, no,
Speaker 1: I can't eat I have to have ice pops instead,
Speaker 1: and it's like, well, no, there's a there's a healthy
Speaker 1: balance between eating good foods and then indulging occasionally but
Speaker 1: not going so overboard, which she does in this episode
Speaker 1: right well.
Speaker 3: And I think too, like it's such an important part
Speaker 3: of it is also talking about like the development at
Speaker 3: that age. It's so you know, your body is like
Speaker 3: you're still not through puberty really completely and through you know,
Speaker 3: you're like still stretching and growing and doing all of
Speaker 3: these things, and so you know, it's it was so
Speaker 3: hard to see, and it was so hard to see.
Speaker 2: Like DJ, who is not at all a large girl,
Speaker 2: to be discussing it and no one's saying like.
Speaker 3: You're healthy, You're fine, you know, like everyone was like, oh,
Speaker 3: I can see why, and you're like wait, no, wait, wait,
Speaker 3: we're just jumping on this board or on this bandwagon.
Speaker 5: Except it was interesting Steph's character, and I thought this
Speaker 5: was so perfect because it reminded me of you personally, Jodi,
Speaker 5: because you say it how it is and you call
Speaker 5: it out. And she was like, I mean, I'll keep
Speaker 5: the secret, but I don't love this. That is just
Speaker 5: so something that you would say, very true, like you know,
Speaker 5: I don't want this, but I'm a good friend and
Speaker 5: like I'll keep this out on the down low.
Speaker 3: Right, So that was sort of a side segument becomes
Speaker 3: a problem. I'm sorry, I'm letting you We're done.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, no, I did. I love stuff and her
Speaker 2: reaction to this and her like, I don't think this
Speaker 2: is a good idea, and like, I'm not, and the.
Speaker 3: Importance of also that idea that you know, we we
Speaker 3: can keep each other's secrets as long as it's not
Speaker 3: about safety or health or putting anyone in danger, and
Speaker 3: those aren't the secrets that we keep, you know, exactly.
Speaker 5: And you know, she was comparing herself like you had said,
Speaker 5: you know, she's not somebody you would look at and say, yeah, no,
Speaker 5: they need to work on their health. But the problem
Speaker 5: was she started with the episode started with those magazines
Speaker 5: and the nineteen nineties that was the time that it
Speaker 5: really took off with tabloids and paparazzi and then the
Speaker 5: ultra thinness in your fashion models, which also even kind
Speaker 5: of dictated how the fashion industry was, like remember the
Speaker 5: super low rise genes.
Speaker 3: And the baby teas, yeah, the heroine chic yeah, you know, yeah,
Speaker 3: it was already creating this this expectation for how your
Speaker 3: body types should even look like.
Speaker 5: And so I think I think it was just she
Speaker 5: was falling as a victim to the messaging that she
Speaker 5: was being exposed.
Speaker 4: To, right as we all work.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I mean the advent of you know, photoshop
Speaker 3: and all of that in the.
Speaker 2: Late eighties early nineties.
Speaker 3: All of a sudden, it was like you could tweak
Speaker 3: and gloss over and make, you know, into perfection anything
Speaker 3: you want. And now it's even more. You can do
Speaker 3: it on your phone, you do. You don't need Adobe
Speaker 3: Photoshop Pro to do.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: It's like you can make yourself look completely different and
Speaker 3: look like how you think you should look.
Speaker 2: Rather than how you actually look, you know.
Speaker 4: Yep.
Speaker 1: And that makes me question who's like who's buying who
Speaker 1: was buying these magazines in the nineties, Like who's this for?
Speaker 1: Because women don't want to feel less?
Speaker 4: Then?
Speaker 1: So is this all like how you mentioned like this
Speaker 1: was the look of the models the baby tees, Like
Speaker 1: is this all for the male gaze? Like these are
Speaker 1: editors putting these models on the covers because that's what
Speaker 1: men want to see. Because I don't know if women
Speaker 1: want to see that.
Speaker 3: I'd say that I don't think women want to see it,
Speaker 3: but it's almost that that is like almost a subconscious
Speaker 3: thought because that kind of goes underneath, like you don't
Speaker 3: really think about how much you don't want to see
Speaker 3: that until you like go through all of the nonsense
Speaker 3: of fighting that battle, you know what I mean. I
Speaker 3: feel like your teens and twenties are like you don't
Speaker 3: even think about like not engaging in that comparison, you know, right, Well.
Speaker 5: I think it's also just a side effect of diet culture,
Speaker 5: and it it got to that point because of the
Speaker 5: trajectory of how diet culture started. Right, So if if
Speaker 5: you want at a history lesson.
Speaker 3: You know me, let's go, hold on, I'm getting oes. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: And we're also just going to blame the patriarchy.
Speaker 2: So there we go the blanket.
Speaker 5: And so in diet culture actually started in ancient Greece,
Speaker 5: and it wasn't necessarily like a top thing. It's just
Speaker 5: that in ancient Greece, you know, dictated by religion and
Speaker 5: culture and food availability, they there was a big emphasis
Speaker 5: on physical movement, as you can see from what we
Speaker 5: you know, the pieces of history that we see from
Speaker 5: that time, and also just about the food combinations. Again,
Speaker 5: so many different areas of food groups were available in
Speaker 5: that part of the world. So that's where sort of
Speaker 5: diet culture started. But then it wasn't until the nineteenth
Speaker 5: century where there was an actual desire to change your
Speaker 5: body type based on what you eat.
Speaker 4: Did that have to do with.
Speaker 3: The the sort of advertising total alog we had newspapers
Speaker 3: and things that were we were advertising more.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we actually had more things to compare ourselves to
Speaker 5: and to sort of aspire to be. And so there
Speaker 5: was this need and desire for the change of your body.
Speaker 5: So people were trying to find solutions, and solutions aren't
Speaker 5: popular unless they can say that they're quick. So we
Speaker 5: had methods like calorie counting come out, which you know,
Speaker 5: calorie counting doesn't tell you anything about the value of
Speaker 5: the food or what you're actually eating, right, So I
Speaker 5: could make the most ideal plate for you, filled with
Speaker 5: you know, healthy fats and protein and healthy carbohydrates and
Speaker 5: all the things, and I could make that the same
Speaker 5: amount of calories as something that's not very good for you.
Speaker 5: So again it just doesn't it doesn't tell you what
Speaker 5: value you're getting from the food. And then you actually
Speaker 5: started to see diet pills, which were all sorts of
Speaker 5: you know, dangers associated with those Back in the day
Speaker 5: and still to this day.
Speaker 3: And yeah, I mean the fifties and sixties that was
Speaker 3: you know, dexadrine was keeping everyone going exactly and so
Speaker 3: then and.
Speaker 1: Is it like was it were those like laxatives or
Speaker 1: was it like the dream was speak basically yeah, ye
Speaker 1: speed okay, so people yeah, okay, but.
Speaker 2: They were marketed as great a diet appetite.
Speaker 3: You're like, well, yeah, that's that's the point.
Speaker 4: Yeah, right, so there we are. They're a wide variety
Speaker 4: of those.
Speaker 5: And then and then weight Watchers, you know, jumping to
Speaker 5: the sixties. So weight Watchers was founded inteen nineteen sixty three,
Speaker 5: and it was the first diet to actually provide before
Speaker 5: and after photos. And so I think this is a
Speaker 5: key piece in like where we got you know, how
Speaker 5: did we get there in the eighties and nineties, because
Speaker 5: we weren't really given the idea of here's what you
Speaker 5: look like now, and here's what you could look like
Speaker 5: after you do this thing, right, and so we began
Speaker 5: romanticizing that after photo, and people kind of took that
Speaker 5: to the next level because you don't know what that
Speaker 5: after photo is going to look like. So what do
Speaker 5: you picture? You picture this standard that we are being fed.
Speaker 5: And I think that was a really key part in
Speaker 5: diet culture because it did. To start, you started to
Speaker 5: see this desire for thinness and this sort of one
Speaker 5: size fits all.
Speaker 4: Sort of prototype of that.
Speaker 5: So then of course big food kind of capitalized on
Speaker 5: that and you started seeing South Beached diet and slim
Speaker 5: Fast and all of these.
Speaker 2: You know, remember Mom Susan Powder and her white hair.
Speaker 2: Stop the insanity.
Speaker 3: I mean that was, like, you know, it was everywhere
Speaker 3: for Oprah was constantly like losing weight and gaining it,
Speaker 3: and everyone would criticized, and then she'd lose it and
Speaker 3: then she I mean it was we were just well.
Speaker 1: Do you remember was it on her show she wheeled
Speaker 1: out in on like a wagon the amount of weight
Speaker 1: she lost, which I don't know if it was sixty
Speaker 1: pounds eighty pounds of animal fat, like she rolled that
Speaker 1: out onto the stage as the visual of just how
Speaker 1: much weight she had lost. And that's just that image
Speaker 1: just stays and stays in your head. Yeah, crazy, So anyway, sorry,
Speaker 1: it didn't men, she didn't at all.
Speaker 5: This is all relevant, So it's yeah, that was that's
Speaker 5: basically like the cliff notes of of I think the
Speaker 5: trajectory that got DJ to actually opening that magazine. It's
Speaker 5: like when in Devil Wars Prada when Meryl Streep explains
Speaker 5: the evolution of her blue sweater. You know, so it's
Speaker 5: it is important to kind of think about like how
Speaker 5: did we get here? And yeah, so that's what she
Speaker 5: was being fad what and it's so no, go go.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, it's so it's so relatable even
Speaker 1: to Jody and I as we were watching that episode.
Speaker 1: I mean, we're in our forties and we still feel
Speaker 1: like when DJ says I don't like the way I
Speaker 1: look like, that is so for so many women, so
Speaker 1: many and it doesn't just women, anybody of any age.
Speaker 1: It's just it's so relatable to want to make your
Speaker 1: body look a different way. And in DJ's case, it
Speaker 1: was to fit in because she was going to a
Speaker 1: pool party where her friends were going to be and
Speaker 1: she's like, I don't want to wear a bikini in
Speaker 1: front of people unless I lose however much weight she
Speaker 1: wanted to lose, and it's it's relatable and sad, but
Speaker 1: that's why this is such an important episode for for
Speaker 1: people to watch.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say that, you know, Kimmy was pretty
Speaker 3: oblivious in this situation. We love Kimmy, but sometimes she's
Speaker 3: a little unaware. She was very she was not helpful.
Speaker 3: She was like this, I got the smallest bikini possible, right,
Speaker 3: But like, how could Kimmy or a friend at that
Speaker 3: age maybe be a little more aware or ask the
Speaker 3: right questions or you know, because I know, you know,
Speaker 3: my kids have had friends and you know, struggled with
Speaker 3: struggling with food stuff, and it's always they don't quite
Speaker 3: know what to say.
Speaker 2: Or how to support or how to be helpful.
Speaker 3: And it is it's such a time of like different
Speaker 3: body types, you know.
Speaker 5: It is, it is, And I think that's an advantage
Speaker 5: of this generation, right, I mean, something that I see
Speaker 5: is like this, you know, And I don't want to
Speaker 5: say assume that it's confidence, right because confidence can be
Speaker 5: can sort of be a facade when we see it
Speaker 5: on social media or whatever. But even just comparing like
Speaker 5: our home videos to like our choreographed spice girl dances
Speaker 5: to like the tiktoks I see, I'm.
Speaker 4: Like, Okay, this is the next level confone.
Speaker 3: The play is my cousins and I used to put
Speaker 3: on making up our own stupid songs and now I'm like,
Speaker 3: these kids are putting on like full on music videos.
Speaker 5: Yes, and so I think, you know, there is this
Speaker 5: celebration of individuality now, which is great. But I think,
Speaker 5: you know, as far as how Kimmy reacted and said like, oh,
Speaker 5: I just need a donut, and you know, whatever you
Speaker 5: had said was was very funny. And I think it's
Speaker 5: also because that your food story wasn't a big part
Speaker 5: of your life. It was you know, it was not
Speaker 5: something that you maybe consumed your thoughts like it did DJ.
Speaker 5: And so I think now, you know, as a teenager
Speaker 5: to teenager, I think it's important to just maybe ask
Speaker 5: more questions, you know, why do you feel like that?
Speaker 5: And maybe yeah, point out those red flags, but not
Speaker 5: in a way that's accusatory, because that can also be
Speaker 5: you know, someone I personally had an eating disorder, and
Speaker 5: you never want to feel like someone is accusing you
Speaker 5: of something, even if you're still doing it right of.
Speaker 3: Course, because you're just like no, no, how dare you?
Speaker 4: And then exactly and then try not to provide a solution.
Speaker 5: And I do think that that's important again kind of
Speaker 5: back to the Becky's comments about a meal plan Jesse's
Speaker 5: comments about, well, you just have to exercise.
Speaker 4: And maybe just provide them a safe.
Speaker 5: Space to express express their their needs. But if you
Speaker 5: see like serious signs, then you know somebody does need
Speaker 5: professional help.
Speaker 1: Yes, Stephanie's the only one that saw the signs and
Speaker 1: spoke up about it. You know, that was It's almost
Speaker 1: as important an episode for Stephanie as it is for dj.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean it's a great sister episode about that. Sometimes
Speaker 3: when you really love somebody, you have to tell on
Speaker 3: them in order to keep them safe.
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 5: And then you know you saw the overconditioning at the gym,
Speaker 5: and I think that was another another really interesting thing
Speaker 5: about like the extremes is a big sign, right, the
Speaker 5: extremes of what you're seeing. You see the whole group
Speaker 5: going to the gym, and everybody's sort of like having
Speaker 5: fun with it, and that's what that's what health should be,
Speaker 5: is fun.
Speaker 3: If you can't wear suspender and you're to the gym,
Speaker 3: I don't know what you're doing.
Speaker 2: That's say.
Speaker 5: The audios are like a whole other podcast episode.
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, it was so wild.
Speaker 1: Jody and her suspenders at the gym.
Speaker 3: Good, Well, you know, if I get a little crazy,
Speaker 3: you know, on my my lead hard and falling down.
Speaker 2: You got to hold those things up.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 5: And then also like the outfits that they got Michelle
Speaker 5: to wear a side note, like having a toddler, I'm like,
Speaker 5: how on earth did those girls just.
Speaker 4: Roll with it?
Speaker 3: Well, first of all, the commentary that we have about
Speaker 3: Michelle is basically on her own all the time and
Speaker 3: manages to get herself dressed in these outfits and everyone
Speaker 3: she walks into her room and everyone's like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 3: I Michelle, Oh look at you ready, But you're like,
Speaker 3: this kid has leg warmers, tights, a leotard.
Speaker 2: You know, she has like.
Speaker 4: A whole team working for her.
Speaker 3: They and well when she's taking time off of her
Speaker 3: you know, important therapy sessions that she's giving to every
Speaker 3: adult in the house because Michelle really solves all the problems.
Speaker 5: So oh my gosh. And when she went in on
Speaker 5: that cake, that was also like everyone's reaction. I could
Speaker 5: tell everyone was trying so hard not to laugh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, trying hard not to laugh.
Speaker 3: Also at the absurdity of it, Like we're just standing
Speaker 3: here and letting the toddler cawl on table the cake.
Speaker 4: Okay, so good, joke's got to work anyways.
Speaker 2: But yeah, the no, the and I was going to.
Speaker 3: Say, like the the overconditioning and the overtraining.
Speaker 2: I mean that's something that.
Speaker 3: We I've seen in people my age and adults, you know,
Speaker 3: who are like, oh, I've got to you know, I
Speaker 3: have to lose this weight in this amount of time,
Speaker 3: So I'm gonna absolutely push myself and kill myself to
Speaker 3: do it. And you know, the body doesn't work that way,
Speaker 3: like you might lose some water weight. But you know,
Speaker 3: maybe we can talk a little bit about like how
Speaker 3: why that doesn't work and why if you, you know,
Speaker 3: want to keep.
Speaker 2: Your body healthy, like doing stuff like these.
Speaker 3: Crash diets and this overtraining and all of this really
Speaker 3: actually doesn't help your body function at its best.
Speaker 5: Yeah. I mean, I think the first thing to kind
Speaker 5: of explain is the concept of bio individuality, which I
Speaker 5: think everybody needs to know what it is, because it
Speaker 5: takes so much pressure off of you to think like, oh,
Speaker 5: because if you've spent your whole life sayingle I've just
Speaker 5: you know, every diet has failed me, nothing works for me.
Speaker 5: Why because does this person do something and look like that,
Speaker 5: and I've tried it and it didn't work. So bioindividuality
Speaker 5: is the concept that every single body is biologically different
Speaker 5: and therefore requires different foods and different types of movements in.
Speaker 4: Order to thrive.
Speaker 5: And it really makes a whole lot of sense because
Speaker 5: think about even just the three of us in this
Speaker 5: zoom room, you know, think about where we came from.
Speaker 5: They were all different places. So everybody has different genetics,
Speaker 5: different ancestry, different environmental factors. Some people are living closer
Speaker 5: to you know, certain things that could be sparking histamine reactions.
Speaker 5: There's also lifestyle factors, you know, do you how active
Speaker 5: are you? What is your stress level? Like all of
Speaker 5: those things. It's not just food and exercise. All of
Speaker 5: those things factor into how your body processes, processes everything.
Speaker 5: And so once you understand that you are uniquely you
Speaker 5: and different and therefore require different things, you can kind
Speaker 5: of take yourself out of this, like check all of
Speaker 5: these boxes in order to be healthy. So I think
Speaker 5: it's about finding what works for you, and a lot
Speaker 5: of that requires you to listen to your body and
Speaker 5: to respond to the cues that it's giving you. So
Speaker 5: so much of diet culture tells you to ignore the
Speaker 5: signs that your body is giving you, whether that be
Speaker 5: hunger you know, oh I'm not supposed to be hungry,
Speaker 5: or I'm going.
Speaker 3: To dread a lot until this time, right, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 3: or even fads like intermittent fasting.
Speaker 5: You are following these rules and ignoring maybe hunger at
Speaker 5: nine am, you know.
Speaker 4: And so I think.
Speaker 5: It's again just important to understand what your body is
Speaker 5: telling you and do that eating when you're hungry. And
Speaker 5: sometimes it's the simplest things that I will tell people
Speaker 5: and they're like, oh, yeah, I guess I should be
Speaker 5: eating when I'm hungry and not waiting until.
Speaker 3: Well, I know, when I wait, I make really poor
Speaker 3: food decisions, Like if I'm a little bit hungry, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: I could have something good for me. The hungrier I get,
Speaker 3: the more I'm like, I don't care what it is, fried, whatever,
Speaker 3: just shove it in my face.
Speaker 2: I'll eat it, you know.
Speaker 3: And it's like keeping your body to sort of that
Speaker 3: regular like routine.
Speaker 2: And I mean yesterday I was like, I don't think
Speaker 2: I've eaten in eight hours.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: It's like not a good Dame day, I know, but
Speaker 2: it was like going all over.
Speaker 3: Sorry I had to tell myself, but it was like
Speaker 3: one of those days and I was like, oh, yeah, this,
Speaker 3: you know, I this is not how I like to
Speaker 3: routinely treat my body.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and that's that's just a result of low blood
Speaker 5: sugar and when we when we wait too long to eat,
Speaker 5: our blood sugar dips and we become shaky and irritable.
Speaker 4: And that's where that hungry term comes from.
Speaker 5: And our body just craves quick car quick carbohydrates and
Speaker 5: usually the form of exactly French fries. So not that
Speaker 5: French fries can't exist in a in you know, a
Speaker 5: healthy week, but yeah, so it's it's about finding what
Speaker 5: works for your body and like I said, listening to
Speaker 5: your cues and eating a wide variety of things, you know,
Speaker 5: lots of different colors on your plate, and always making
Speaker 5: sure you know you have a source of protein and
Speaker 5: it doesn't have to look like a like a chicken
Speaker 5: breast with steamed broccoli.
Speaker 4: You know, we're not going for that.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Beggy's suggestion was like, no, just some boiled chicken
Speaker 3: and some white rice, and I was like, no, no,
Speaker 3: thank you. Steam right, I might as well have an
Speaker 3: ice pop with all that flavor. You know, it's just
Speaker 3: not I mean, don't don't. I'm not suggesting that, but
Speaker 3: I but like, you know, there are That was the
Speaker 3: one thing that I really learned when you and I
Speaker 3: were working together was like, healthy food can still taste great,
Speaker 3: and you can still get the little cravings that you
Speaker 3: want if you're willing to kind of swap out this
Speaker 3: for this, or make a substitution, or make it dark
Speaker 3: chocolate instead of milk chocolate, well you know whatever it
Speaker 3: might be.
Speaker 2: Like, Yeah, I learned so much of that from you.
Speaker 2: And colorful food, yeah, and that food.
Speaker 5: There are some good beige foods, but exactly what you said,
Speaker 5: figuring out, you know, what do you enjoy to eat
Speaker 5: and how can we make that a little healthier. And
Speaker 5: then when you do want to have, like when you
Speaker 5: want to go to the restaurant and have like the
Speaker 5: real deal, the best form of it, you do that
Speaker 5: with intention and you enjoy it, and you're not in
Speaker 5: your head the whole time, and you don't allow your
Speaker 5: decisions tomorrow to be dictated by that meal. You know,
Speaker 5: just just be in the moment and enjoy it and
Speaker 5: surround yourself with people that you love.
Speaker 4: When you eat.
Speaker 5: You know, that's another thing I think, you know, back
Speaker 5: to your question about like what friends can do, what
Speaker 5: family can do, is just make make eating a happy thing,
Speaker 5: and whether that means cooking more together in the kitchen
Speaker 5: or just trying to have more family meals or friend
Speaker 5: meals where you're having meaningful conversation, and that's associating a
Speaker 5: positivity with that meal, because if you ate that meal
Speaker 5: by yourself after a really hard day and you are
Speaker 5: just in your head the whole time, your body is
Speaker 5: going to process that meal very differently than if you
Speaker 5: were relaxed and you were.
Speaker 4: You know, in the moment and really enjoying it.
Speaker 3: I find too, I tend to stuff my face less
Speaker 3: and eat past the point of being stated when I
Speaker 3: eat like alone, or when I wait too long to eat,
Speaker 3: like you know, I have a much healthier like Oh no,
Speaker 3: I think I'm actually like listen like you said, listening
Speaker 3: to those body signals where you're like, oh no, I
Speaker 3: actually I'm done. I only ate like half of this
Speaker 3: and I'm full. But sometimes left to my own devices,
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, my taste.
Speaker 2: Buds are bored. They need more.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like how you mentioned intentional eating, because I
Speaker 1: think we tend to get into habits of like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's late at night. You know, dinner was a few
Speaker 1: hours ago, but I'm going to sit on the couch
Speaker 1: and watch a show and eat my comfort food, whatever
Speaker 1: that is, if it's chips or ice cream or whatever.
Speaker 1: What's your advice for like breaking that pattern? Or I
Speaker 1: don't know what's the solution to that. Like if someone says, well,
Speaker 1: you know, I Automi crave ice cream at nine o'clock
Speaker 1: every night, what, like, what's your advice for that?
Speaker 5: I think it's about really thinking about why you're making
Speaker 5: that choice a lot of times and I hear that
Speaker 5: same thing, ice cream at nine right, and listen, when
Speaker 5: we're watching Netflix, we want something to eat, Like that's
Speaker 5: it's it's a nice ritual, and I can I can
Speaker 5: fully admit that, but I think it's important to realize, Okay,
Speaker 5: why am I doing that every night?
Speaker 4: Is it because it's what I do? Is it because
Speaker 4: I've been restricting myself during the day in order to
Speaker 4: do that at night?
Speaker 5: Is it because I'm stressed and that's my time to
Speaker 5: feel okay? And once you identify the root of a
Speaker 5: habit like that, it can be easier to I don't
Speaker 5: want to say break the habit because breaking the habit
Speaker 5: has such a negative connotation and negativity about like.
Speaker 4: Well, that makes ice cream bad and it doesn't.
Speaker 5: It's taking the idea of it and why you're doing
Speaker 5: it and maybe making that a little different. So if
Speaker 5: it's simply a restriction thing, that could be affecting your
Speaker 5: blood sugar and therefore you actually are really hungry and
Speaker 5: craving that, so can you eat more during the day
Speaker 5: and maybe eat more balanced during the day so that
Speaker 5: after dinner you feel more satisfied and maybe you physically
Speaker 5: won't crave that at nine, or maybe it's something you
Speaker 5: do like on the weekends, because that becomes a more
Speaker 5: of a special tradition. So in asking yourself, am I
Speaker 5: even enjoying this? And I know that was something that
Speaker 5: Jody and I worked on a lot, is just to
Speaker 5: stop and pause, like do I even want this?
Speaker 4: Or am I just doing this? Because this is what
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 3: I constantly go to the pantry and I'm like, am
Speaker 3: I hungry?
Speaker 2: Or am I bored? And a lot of times the
Speaker 2: answer is I'm just bored.
Speaker 3: Like I literally am like just kind of in the
Speaker 3: house and I'm like, I guess I'll go eat a cookie,
Speaker 3: you know, like it's and it's never like, oh, I
Speaker 3: think I'll go have a cucumber, you know.
Speaker 2: Now it's like I'm bored.
Speaker 3: Therefore I want sugar fat some sort of you know,
Speaker 3: something to entertain my brain and taste buds. And so
Speaker 3: many times when I just pause and ask that question,
Speaker 3: like you actually don't, I don't.
Speaker 2: I'm not really hungry for you know, a bowl of
Speaker 2: Swedish fish, yeah, and maybe three or four balance yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And it puts you in the driver's seat.
Speaker 5: I think people feel out of control, and it seemed
Speaker 5: that DJ was feeling out of control in this whole episode.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 4: It's like I like, I don't make these decisions. These
Speaker 4: decisions are made for me.
Speaker 5: And that when you when you feel like you're in
Speaker 5: control and you feel like you are are intentionally and
Speaker 5: mindfully making choices, you might make choices differently.
Speaker 4: And I think that's just something to to sort of
Speaker 4: keep in mind.
Speaker 3: Yeah, trying to think of other shows around that time
Speaker 3: that did any you know, I feel like that was
Speaker 3: probably Facts of Life or so, you know, at some
Speaker 3: point the shows did uh, other ones, But I'm trying
Speaker 3: to think of any others that really dealt with like
Speaker 3: a young teenager kind of going through this, because.
Speaker 2: I thought that was really like it was.
Speaker 3: It was a difficult subject to sort of talk about,
Speaker 3: you know, and to do it in the right way.
Speaker 3: And I you know, of course, thirty plus years later,
Speaker 3: we're like, well, this should have been the way you
Speaker 3: handle it. But where do you think we've gone as
Speaker 3: far as like going from the diet culture of the
Speaker 3: nineties to now the we were kind of in the
Speaker 3: like everybody's great whatever, and then we found ozempic and
Speaker 3: then everyone's.
Speaker 2: Like, oh wait, finally the magic thing.
Speaker 3: Do you see us and you know, of course mentioning
Speaker 3: social media, but do you see us kind of going
Speaker 3: backwards a little bit?
Speaker 2: Or are are we having more.
Speaker 3: Realistic conversations about it, like in your line of work?
Speaker 2: What do you think?
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's that's a really great question, and it's I
Speaker 5: feel like a very complicated answer because it's nuanced. But
Speaker 5: I do think.
Speaker 4: We're sort of experiencing both.
Speaker 5: I like I had mentioned the pendulum, I think the
Speaker 5: ozempic craze has definitely swung the pendulum in the other direction.
Speaker 5: Obviously this drug is used for people who have underlying
Speaker 5: conditions and there is a need for that.
Speaker 4: I think the problem.
Speaker 5: Becomes when it becomes a solution for then for so
Speaker 5: many people, and now again we're kind of back to
Speaker 5: the quick fix and not figuring out what our body
Speaker 5: needs to thrive and something that we can maintain.
Speaker 4: For years and years.
Speaker 5: But on the other hand, if we weren't, if we
Speaker 5: weren't looking for quick fixes, the diet industry would implode,
Speaker 5: and there's so much money there, so it's so complicated.
Speaker 5: But I do see so much more body positivity language
Speaker 5: in TV now. You see many more different body types
Speaker 5: being cast, which is great, and you also just see
Speaker 5: a little bit more conversation about eating disorders and just
Speaker 5: kind of putting it out there and even us having
Speaker 5: this conversation today.
Speaker 4: It definitely isn't tiptoed around.
Speaker 5: Maybe like it was when that episode was made, when
Speaker 5: the Full House episode was made. But I think social
Speaker 5: media has also taken us backwards with that because of
Speaker 5: the way in which we're able to curate things and
Speaker 5: edit things so much. Like obviously tabloids and fashion magazines
Speaker 5: were edited in their own way, but now we scroll
Speaker 5: and for a young mind, they're not going to say, well,
Speaker 5: I think that's edited, right.
Speaker 4: You know, my kids never thought.
Speaker 2: They were like no, but they look so good. I
Speaker 2: was like, that is not real.
Speaker 3: Look at that's not even look at the way that
Speaker 3: the picture goes.
Speaker 2: In the background. That's not a real human you know.
Speaker 3: But you can't you can't tell them that because they're like, no,
Speaker 3: everything is real, right.
Speaker 4: And the filters too.
Speaker 5: I mean again, looking at our photos from teenage years,
Speaker 5: I'm like, we did not have filters.
Speaker 3: No, no, so so I yeah, it's I hope that
Speaker 3: we continue to go in.
Speaker 5: I mean, I hope that a path to more of
Speaker 5: a balanced way of looking at it and more of
Speaker 5: a celebrating everybody's uniqueness is out there. But I think
Speaker 5: it's it's just going to take a long time. And
Speaker 5: it goes back to everybody's individual story around food and
Speaker 5: what you're going to do with that, how you're going
Speaker 5: to identify that, and how you're going to work on
Speaker 5: that in your own way that works for you.
Speaker 3: Got it? Yeah, I mean food is one of the
Speaker 3: hardest things to sort of regulate and keep balanced because
Speaker 3: you know, there's emotional eating, there's you know, all sorts
Speaker 3: of things that we use food for that have nothing
Speaker 3: to do with running our bodies. And it's one of
Speaker 3: those really complicated things. It's not like you cannot eat right,
Speaker 3: you have to eat. So it's a constant thought that
Speaker 3: you want to make, not a constant thought. And you know,
Speaker 3: like there's so much, like you said, nuance and sort
Speaker 3: of balance to it, and different people struggle in different
Speaker 3: ways and with different severity of it, you know. I know,
Speaker 3: for me, it can be easy to be like, oh,
Speaker 3: just you know, I'll have a cheeseburger and some fries
Speaker 3: and then like you know, go work out or whatever,
Speaker 3: and like for some people that works, and for some
Speaker 3: people it doesn't. And it's all about being like, well, okay,
Speaker 3: how do we support each other in our food journeys?
Speaker 5: Totally, And I think we have also a unique challenge
Speaker 5: in this country with the fact that our culture is
Speaker 5: so fast paced and so hustle first, that we have
Speaker 5: created all of these convenient options that people sometimes feel
Speaker 5: like they have no other choice but to indulge in
Speaker 5: because the availability. But you go to other countries and
Speaker 5: you don't see that people are eating more locally, they
Speaker 5: are taking more breaks to actually sit down and eat.
Speaker 4: It's why you see cafe or.
Speaker 3: They have a three hour meal and it'll you know,
Speaker 3: and they're like no, no, no, sit relax right We're like,
Speaker 3: are we done?
Speaker 2: We go get the jacky righty.
Speaker 5: It's just a different way, it's a different culture, it's
Speaker 5: a different way of a different set of priorities, and here, unfortunately,
Speaker 5: food is not a priority for a lot of people,
Speaker 5: and that sort of perpetuates this struggle of how am
Speaker 5: I going to how do I know what's a healthy
Speaker 5: meal when I have all of these options, in all
Speaker 5: of these ads being thrown at me that I could
Speaker 5: just eat this and be thin. So it's complicated.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you could rewrite the Shape Up episode and
Speaker 1: air it today, what changes would you make in that episode?
Speaker 1: Not to put you on the spot, but I have
Speaker 1: an answer to this too, So.
Speaker 2: That's a really just like hold on, let me get
Speaker 2: my script that I wrote. Now. I've been waiting for
Speaker 2: this moment for years now.
Speaker 5: I mean, gosh, I did have a notebook out when
Speaker 5: I was watching it, and I did cry at the end.
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna lie, but the crying was like, oh,
Speaker 4: for a.
Speaker 5: Lot of reasons, but still I was just like, man,
Speaker 5: this really got me. First of all, I wouldn't rewrite
Speaker 5: Steph's part because again I was like, very proud of
Speaker 5: her and just for like, you know, speaking up and
Speaker 5: just being concerned. I would, certainly, I think the most
Speaker 5: the most part, and this is just because I'm a
Speaker 5: parent now, is to rewrite the adult script, you know,
Speaker 5: maybe having more of a check on how they talk
Speaker 5: about their own bodies, right, because the transfer of stress
Speaker 5: from adults who child is real, and especially when it
Speaker 5: comes to food, and so I think I would.
Speaker 4: I would rewrite how they explained.
Speaker 5: What healthy is and how and how to obtain that,
Speaker 5: and to also celebrate her for who she is before
Speaker 5: any changes more.
Speaker 4: So, that's that's the main thing.
Speaker 5: I mean, I'm trying to think of specific he told me,
Speaker 5: I would have come with a full stress.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I kidding. I wish they had made Kimmy well,
Speaker 1: not so oblivious, but I wish they had at the
Speaker 1: end or maybe throughout. Okay, I haven't really thought through
Speaker 1: this yet, but I wish they had at the end
Speaker 1: revealed that Kimmy also feels self conscious about her body too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I understand the point of Kimmy. It was to be
Speaker 1: held up as, oh, Kimmy's skinny. Kimmy has the perfect body,
Speaker 1: and DJ wants to look like that. But I felt
Speaker 1: so uncomfortable being that thin as a fourteen year old girl.
Speaker 1: For as much as you know, Candae was self conscious
Speaker 1: about her chipmunk cheeks, I was self conscious about how
Speaker 1: skinny I was on my chicken legs because that didn't
Speaker 1: feel right either. And so you know, Kimmy's confident and
Speaker 1: she's oblivious. But I wish they had kind of revealed
Speaker 1: at the end that, you know what, Kimmy is just
Speaker 1: as insecure as DJ too. It's just that Thinness was
Speaker 1: held up as the prototype to you know, the dream
Speaker 1: to achieve, and it's like, no, it's not. You know,
Speaker 1: everybody feels self conscious about something, even though you look different.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that would have been a really great moment to
Speaker 3: see because I think it would have kind of leveled
Speaker 3: the playing field and reminded DJ and the audience that, like,
Speaker 3: nobody escapes from this sort of you know of self consciousness,
Speaker 3: and you know, whether you're skinny, or whether you think
Speaker 3: you're not the right body type or whatever, Like we
Speaker 3: all stand in the mirror.
Speaker 2: And go, oh, I wish this was different, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's hard, but yeah, that would have been
Speaker 3: a great addition if Kimmy was like you think, I like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't. This is weird for me too, like I
Speaker 3: don't look like you know, these other super model types
Speaker 3: like you know, and that's everybody's experience.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I love that too, and it's so true.
Speaker 5: I mean, I think teenagers also they compare themselves to
Speaker 5: what's closest to them and sometimes that that is your
Speaker 5: closest circle of friends, and I can relate. And my
Speaker 5: best friend and hig school was like very similar body
Speaker 5: type to Kimmy, like very very skinny, and I remember
Speaker 5: I was like, she has that all.
Speaker 2: But there were.
Speaker 5: Conversations looking back that I remember where she she had
Speaker 5: other insecurities And it doesn't have to be weight, right,
Speaker 5: it's like whatever. Like for DJ, the weight was was
Speaker 5: the was the front and center of her insecurity.
Speaker 4: But like you said, it was something completely different for you.
Speaker 5: And we are our own worst critic, and well, boy,
Speaker 5: everybody has something going on, right.
Speaker 3: Oh man, Yeah, the worst Roger and Ebert in my head,
Speaker 3: that's for sure.
Speaker 2: Terrible reviews.
Speaker 1: Well, I also think about the the teenagers or the
Speaker 1: young girls that were watching this episode back in nineteen
Speaker 1: ninety and just thinking, you know, anytime Candice watches some
Speaker 1: old episode and she's like, oh, I can't watch that
Speaker 1: episode because I just, you know, I look I hated
Speaker 1: the way I looked, and I'm like, but so many
Speaker 1: girl looked up to you, you know, and thought that
Speaker 1: DJ is who I want to be, you know, And
Speaker 1: there was nothing wrong with her. She was not overweight,
Speaker 1: she wielling, she had nothing to change. But by doing
Speaker 1: this episode and DJ revealing you know, my chipmunk cheeks
Speaker 1: or you know, whatever the words were that she used,
Speaker 1: and thought, what message is that sending to the girls
Speaker 1: at home that want to look like DJ? Right, it
Speaker 1: just breaks my heart.
Speaker 4: Yeah, me too.
Speaker 5: I have a question for you too. Do you remember
Speaker 5: conversations like did anybody think like, wow, this this episode
Speaker 5: is making me think about myself? Or what were the
Speaker 5: conversations like as a kid on set during that time.
Speaker 3: I know, because I also was kind of like Andrea.
Speaker 2: I was like little twig person for a lot of
Speaker 2: my youth.
Speaker 3: I think that was also a dynamic between probably the
Speaker 3: three of us, between you and me. You know, it
Speaker 3: was like that was something I think that also probably
Speaker 3: affected Candice and that I you know, and I definitely
Speaker 3: felt where I was like, oh, this is just you
Speaker 3: know again like kind of who I you know, you're
Speaker 3: just sort of that's just the body I got. But
Speaker 3: I don't remember having like specific conversations, but I definitely,
Speaker 3: you know, you feel sort of the like, oh, well,
Speaker 3: you know, it's you're a you know, chicken legs or
Speaker 3: you're the you know, and and as a kid, you
Speaker 3: don't necessarily pick up on it, but you do sort
Speaker 3: of feel like, oh, I there's something here that I
Speaker 3: don't yeah that like maybe we're comparing each other or whatever.
Speaker 1: I never spoke up about it. I didn't speak up
Speaker 1: about how uncomfortable I felt in some of the costumes
Speaker 1: that were form fitting, or my uncomfortability with my thinness
Speaker 1: and in this in this case of this episode, it's
Speaker 1: because I had a role to play, and it was
Speaker 1: Kimmy being the thin one that DJ aspired to be,
Speaker 1: and so I'm not going to be like, wait, what
Speaker 1: about me? You know, I'm not comfortable with this. I
Speaker 1: didn't speak up because I wanted to be, you know,
Speaker 1: a team player and this happened like like a seasons later,
Speaker 1: there's an episode where Jesse has a dream sequence where
Speaker 1: he's balding and he's got a pot belly and he's
Speaker 1: in a he's like a mechanic in a shop, right,
Speaker 1: and he's married to Kimmi Gibbler, who now looks like
Speaker 1: Peg Bundy with that little you know that little The
Speaker 1: outfit the cinched wasst still, the high heels and the
Speaker 1: leopard skin top, and it was so form fitting. I
Speaker 1: remember doing I came out. The producers wanted to do
Speaker 1: like a fit check, like they wanted to see what
Speaker 1: I looked like with this outfit on so they could
Speaker 1: make changes if necessary. And so I remember walking out
Speaker 1: into the living room set in front of all of
Speaker 1: these writers and producers and then looking at me and
Speaker 1: feeling so self conscious about it because people asked my
Speaker 1: mom after that, they said, is there a problem? Does
Speaker 1: Andrew have a problem with anorexia? And I felt so
Speaker 1: bad about myself because I'm like, great, I can't control weight,
Speaker 1: I can't eat more like, I don't want to look
Speaker 1: this way, but I do, and now people think there's
Speaker 1: something wrong with me, and asking out of genuine concern
Speaker 1: you know is is andre Anarexik. I think there was
Speaker 1: even a rumor on the internet at one point that
Speaker 1: I died of anorexia, and I'm like, no, I was
Speaker 1: just a gangly teenager. I was just a little you know,
Speaker 1: I was just a little rail thin squirt. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I felt really uncomfortable and I never spoke up about it.
Speaker 1: I never spoke up about it because I felt that
Speaker 1: I also felt that because thin equaled good and not
Speaker 1: thin equaled bad, I'm like, well, what, I can't speak
Speaker 1: up because I am what people are aspiring to be.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It was just a weird, a weird mind,
Speaker 1: to be honest, and really it really was. With all
Speaker 1: the mixed messages.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I don't you know, we've talked about too
Speaker 3: like I don't think any of the producers, I think
Speaker 3: everyone really did try to have these conversations as delicately
Speaker 3: that they're never easy, and it's not easy when it's
Speaker 3: amongst your family, you know what I mean, let alone,
Speaker 3: You're like, I'm a teenager and I'm gonna go out
Speaker 3: and stand there and have people comment on it.
Speaker 2: Does this look right? Is this too tight? Is this
Speaker 2: that you know? And it still happens.
Speaker 3: I've done many a movie where you know, I've come
Speaker 3: out and they're like, we need to I don't know
Speaker 3: is the sweater or too tight and you're literally standing.
Speaker 2: There like.
Speaker 3: Okay, so we're just gonna have like a conversation like
Speaker 3: I'm not here about how I look like.
Speaker 2: It's a weird. It's a weird business to be.
Speaker 3: In at any age to feel sort of picked apart,
Speaker 3: but to do it as young teenagers when you feel
Speaker 3: like you don't there's no winning.
Speaker 5: You know, it's true, and I don't think people are
Speaker 5: equipped to approach the subject. It has become such a
Speaker 5: taboo thing. But that reminds me of I think what
Speaker 5: also can perpetuate this problem is, you know, everyone has
Speaker 5: that relative where you go to a to a holiday
Speaker 5: and they the first thing that they say is something
Speaker 5: about your weight, whether you've lost weight, you've you've gained weight,
Speaker 5: you know, And sometimes it's it's a cultural thing. Sometimes
Speaker 5: it's just that that's an insecurity that they have. But
Speaker 5: those comments start to add up for people. And even
Speaker 5: just hearing you ladies talk about what it's like in
Speaker 5: a fitting. You sometimes can brush it off, but those
Speaker 5: can those can sort of stick too, worse sponges and
Speaker 5: the words that people speak to us matter. And if
Speaker 5: someone says, if a relative says that to you one year,
Speaker 5: the next year, you're going to be waiting to hear, well,
Speaker 5: did they say anything?
Speaker 4: Does that mean the opposite? It's it's just.
Speaker 3: An our friend in high school who really struggled with
Speaker 3: an eating disorder, and it started because her grandmother. It
Speaker 3: was a very cultural thing, but her grandmother would try
Speaker 3: and put her hands around her waist and if she would,
Speaker 3: you know, and she'd be like, oh, getting too you know,
Speaker 3: and and.
Speaker 2: That was just sort of common.
Speaker 3: And she really really suffered through as she had to
Speaker 3: take the last year off of high school and stuff.
Speaker 2: It was really sad.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it you know, that's it starts as a
Speaker 3: little comment here or a little thing, and you just
Speaker 3: start building, you know, sort of this perpetuating idea inside.
Speaker 5: That's how mine started as well, was was comments made,
Speaker 5: and it's yeah, it's just I think a reminder for
Speaker 5: people to just not comment about someone's weight. And maybe
Speaker 5: we'll have to give producers a little masterclass.
Speaker 4: To describe a costume other way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, And I mean it is you know, there's
Speaker 3: sort of again this is this business is like we
Speaker 3: you have to have these conversations because it's sort of
Speaker 3: relevant to your job.
Speaker 2: But at the same time, you're like, this is such
Speaker 2: a weird thing to be relevant to my job.
Speaker 3: Yeah, human being, my sweater or the yeah, like you know,
Speaker 3: the do I look too skinny as a teenager?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: Whatever?
Speaker 3: It is, like it is, it's hard, And I think
Speaker 3: watching this episode for me, I think the hardest part
Speaker 3: of it was knowing how much Candace really did struggle
Speaker 3: with feeling that she didn't like herself and didn't like
Speaker 3: the way she looked, and uh, it just it was
Speaker 3: so And I said this when we did our recap,
Speaker 3: I said, it was so hard to watch because it felt.
Speaker 2: So personal in a way, like it felt like.
Speaker 3: Those of us that knew her, like it felt like,
Speaker 3: I don't know, almost invasive, like it felt like, oh God,
Speaker 3: this is something that I know she's.
Speaker 2: Really struggling with.
Speaker 3: And it was almost weird to like put it out there,
Speaker 3: but also important.
Speaker 2: So but that was I think for me. I like,
Speaker 2: I watched that and I.
Speaker 4: Was like, oh, yeah, me too.
Speaker 5: Candace is a client of mine as well, and watching it.
Speaker 4: I hadn't watched that episode since.
Speaker 5: Working with her in that capacity, and I definitely had
Speaker 5: a different set of of viewing glasses on, and I'm like.
Speaker 4: Man, this is part This is a part of her story.
Speaker 4: You know, it's an important.
Speaker 2: Part well for all of our listeners out there.
Speaker 3: I'm just so glad that we got to have like
Speaker 3: an important, real conversation about this, and obviously that it
Speaker 3: was with you because we love you, you guys. But
Speaker 3: you know, if you guys, if someone is listening out
Speaker 3: there who's like, oh, I just wish I was this,
Speaker 3: it won't change your life.
Speaker 2: It doesn't make everything better.
Speaker 3: New things come up no matter what you look like,
Speaker 3: no matter what the outside presentation is. And you know,
Speaker 3: I try to remind my girls all the time, like
Speaker 3: you get one, You get one body in this like
Speaker 3: you you come in with your little peanutshell and that's
Speaker 3: what you got. So learn to make peace with it
Speaker 3: and enjoy it and support it as much as you
Speaker 3: can because it's not going anywhere, and that self battle
Speaker 3: is miserable.
Speaker 1: That's such good advice, it really is. Mel Where can
Speaker 1: people find you online or offline? How can people get
Speaker 1: a hold of you or learn more? About you and
Speaker 1: live well.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so my personal instagram is at Choose Well with Mel,
Speaker 5: and the business that Melissa and I have is called
Speaker 5: Live Well, Lead Well, and both of those are on Instagram,
Speaker 5: and our.
Speaker 4: Website is.
Speaker 5: Live Well, Lead Well dot us and there you can
Speaker 5: find we offer retreats and seminars. We're going to be
Speaker 5: doing a live seminar in Michigan next month or this
Speaker 5: maybe this month, depending on the when this episode comes
Speaker 5: up with February nineteen, if anyone is in the Metro
Speaker 5: Detroit area and wants to come see us in person,
Speaker 5: We're going to be doing a seminar at Imagine Theaters.
Speaker 5: And we also do webinars and all sorts of stuff,
Speaker 5: including a newsletter every month that has you know, recipes
Speaker 5: and lifestyle tips and just some updates about what we've
Speaker 5: been up to.
Speaker 4: And yeah, that's that's where I'm at.
Speaker 3: Well, fan Urrito's go check out mel Samuels and Live Well,
Speaker 3: Lead Book because they really are just amazing with what
Speaker 3: they've done and how they how they talk about food
Speaker 3: and health and all of the stuff that is super
Speaker 3: important that maybe we don't have the words for.
Speaker 1: Sometimes, Yeah, you're doing such important work it's so important. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you're you're changing lives.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean yeah, you've had an impact directly on
Speaker 3: my life. My mom's Candice is like so many people
Speaker 3: around you, So thank you.
Speaker 2: We appreciate you.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much. I love you both so much,
Speaker 4: and we love you so great.
Speaker 2: This was so great.
Speaker 3: Go attend to sick baby, and we'll have to we'll
Speaker 3: plan another porch talk time here pretty soon.
Speaker 1: Yes, please, yes, we'll shut down another restaurant, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're so good, we really are.
Speaker 2: It's yeah, it's it's it's a talent.
Speaker 3: So all right, mel Well, thank you so much for
Speaker 3: joining us today.
Speaker 5: We love you, we love thank you so much for
Speaker 5: having me.
Speaker 1: Bye, absolutely by, thanks bye, love.
Speaker 2: I do too. She's so.
Speaker 3: Eloquent in the way that she is able to speak
Speaker 3: about health and food and all of that. I just
Speaker 3: it's yeah, I just really respect her for what she does.
Speaker 1: She's whip smart and she's so empathetic, and that is
Speaker 1: a great combination, yeah, for a nutritionist and a coach.
Speaker 1: And I'm so glad she joined us. This was such
Speaker 1: an important episode and I just wanted to dig a
Speaker 1: little bit deeper and continue that conversation. And Melanie was
Speaker 1: the perfect person.
Speaker 3: Absolutely absolutely well, thank you fan ritos for joining us
Speaker 3: for another fun episode. Well, I don't know about fun,
Speaker 3: but an important episode, very special episode brought to you
Speaker 3: by how Rude Tanrito's. Uh. If you want to find
Speaker 3: us on Instagram, make sure you're following the podcast at
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Speaker 3: how rude Tannerto's And remember the world is small, but
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