1
00:00:01,280 --> 00:00:03,000
Speaker 1: Hello, Hi, How are you?

2
00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:03,960
Speaker 2: I'm okay?

3
00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:05,040
Speaker 3: How are you?

4
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:06,440
Speaker 1: What's your name?

5
00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:08,680
Speaker 2: Can I give my real name?

6
00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:11,280
Speaker 1: No? Want to give me a fake name? I'm gonna

7
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:13,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you and I'm gonna I'm just gonna

8
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,280
Speaker 1: give you a fake name. I'm gonna give you one.

9
00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call you Annie.

10
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:18,280
Speaker 3: Amy.

11
00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:21,079
Speaker 2: Come on, bro, I don't sound like a Amy, all right?

12
00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,239
Speaker 1: You know what you get the fake name you get,

13
00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:24,160
Speaker 1: and you don't get upset.

14
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:24,520
Speaker 2: Amy.

15
00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:27,600
Speaker 1: How old are you? Amy?

16
00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:28,720
Speaker 2: I'm twenty three?

17
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:33,040
Speaker 1: Well, what's going on? Amy? How can I how can

18
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:34,680
Speaker 1: I get you today? What's happening?

19
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:40,320
Speaker 2: Man? Honestly, that's such a loaded question with everything that's

20
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,440
Speaker 2: gone on in like the past year and a half

21
00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:50,920
Speaker 2: of my life. But basically, long story short, right before

22
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:54,960
Speaker 2: my senior year of college started, one of my best

23
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:59,480
Speaker 2: friends was like murdered the first week of school us.

24
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:05,280
Speaker 2: And it's just the craziest, like his most mind warping

25
00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:09,280
Speaker 2: time honestly in my life, and I thinking back on

26
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,120
Speaker 2: it now, I'm just like I can't even believe it's

27
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,640
Speaker 2: been that long, and it's like this the way that

28
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:19,960
Speaker 2: I've had to accept like that I'll never get closure

29
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:23,720
Speaker 2: on some things has been just way too much for

30
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:24,360
Speaker 2: me to handle.

31
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:29,000
Speaker 1: You know, what sorts of things are you trying to

32
00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:30,560
Speaker 1: accept that you'll never get closure on.

33
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,959
Speaker 2: Basically, just with everything that happened to her, it was

34
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:39,040
Speaker 2: like a lot of blurred lines and just like things

35
00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,800
Speaker 2: that don't add up from like the person that murdered her,

36
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:46,520
Speaker 2: and like he never technically got charged with a murder

37
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,120
Speaker 2: just because of the way laws work in my state.

38
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:54,480
Speaker 2: So it's just like, although he is behind bars for

39
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:58,440
Speaker 2: what he did, it's still no one was responsible with

40
00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:02,680
Speaker 2: her life. And I'll never really know like what really

41
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,920
Speaker 2: like in a way killed her, Like what really happened

42
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:06,520
Speaker 2: with it? You know?

43
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,760
Speaker 1: Can I ask you what happened? Do you want to

44
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:10,760
Speaker 1: talk about what happened?

45
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,840
Speaker 2: Yeah? I can. I can kind of go into it.

46
00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:17,720
Speaker 2: So basically, there's this huge thing in my school that

47
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,520
Speaker 2: I went to in college, I went just background. I

48
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:23,880
Speaker 2: went to a big ten college, really big school, big

49
00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:27,360
Speaker 2: party school. It's really known for that, and it's really

50
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:31,920
Speaker 2: like great college in general, but it definitely has a

51
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,079
Speaker 2: culture around drinking and partying in Greek life is like

52
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:38,240
Speaker 2: the biggest thing ever. So it definitely prompts a lot

53
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,640
Speaker 2: of crazy shit to happen there. But this was like

54
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,040
Speaker 2: way more than I ever could understand. But there's this

55
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,840
Speaker 2: thing that everyone like goes to you on Tuesdays. It's

56
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:50,600
Speaker 2: called two dollars Tuesdays. And it was the first one

57
00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:52,799
Speaker 2: of the year, like we had all just moved back down.

58
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,440
Speaker 2: It was the week before school started, called welcome week,

59
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,360
Speaker 2: and this is our senior year. And me and my

60
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:02,480
Speaker 2: friend had met each other when we were in high school,

61
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,400
Speaker 2: but we never really met each other for real and

62
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,280
Speaker 2: started becoming friends until freshman year of college. She was

63
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:12,640
Speaker 2: my best friend throughout like all three years of college,

64
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:17,000
Speaker 2: one of my closest friends. And that night she was

65
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,519
Speaker 2: a year younger than me, so she wasn't twenty one yet.

66
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,720
Speaker 2: I was twenty one at the time. Me and two

67
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:26,280
Speaker 2: other friends had gone to the two dollars Tuesday thing.

68
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,840
Speaker 2: She was at another friend's house and they were all

69
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,600
Speaker 2: just like kind of pregaming to go out later, but

70
00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:35,640
Speaker 2: Avery was just gonna do something else. But basically Avery

71
00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:41,560
Speaker 2: ended up getting god name. She ended up getting just

72
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,840
Speaker 2: like more drunk than she intended. And she was supposed

73
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,640
Speaker 2: to leave and come to my house, and I was

74
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:49,880
Speaker 2: supposed to go pick her up. But since I was drunk.

75
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,280
Speaker 2: I was like, I'll walk to you, because we were

76
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,440
Speaker 2: only like ten minute walk away from each other. But

77
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:58,480
Speaker 2: by the time I said that, her friend was like, no,

78
00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,760
Speaker 2: I'll just drive her over to you. But Avery was

79
00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:04,440
Speaker 2: still thinking that I was coming to walk and get her,

80
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,800
Speaker 2: so she was being reluctant to go with her friend,

81
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,880
Speaker 2: although me and her friend had already worked this whole

82
00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:10,600
Speaker 2: thing out that she was going to get dropped off

83
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,920
Speaker 2: in my house, but she didn't have her phone, her keys,

84
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,880
Speaker 2: or anything, so she didn't want to leave because she

85
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:19,840
Speaker 2: couldn't find them. And then she ended up getting in

86
00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:23,240
Speaker 2: the car, but was convinced that our other friend was

87
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,440
Speaker 2: taking her to the wrong house because I had just

88
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,760
Speaker 2: moved to a different house this year and she'd only

89
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,360
Speaker 2: been there like once or twice, so she was like

90
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:33,560
Speaker 2: unfamiliar with the area I was in, And so she

91
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,520
Speaker 2: got out of the car without any of her stuff,

92
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,880
Speaker 2: like a block away from my house, by this gas station,

93
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,559
Speaker 2: and then I was on the phone with the friend

94
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:47,880
Speaker 2: that led her out of the car, basically not thinking

95
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,680
Speaker 2: anything of it because she was being aggressive and they

96
00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:54,840
Speaker 2: were both very drunk, so she was like, she'll make

97
00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:57,279
Speaker 2: it to Laurence. She's literally right down the street. But

98
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,200
Speaker 2: like I was waiting out of my porch for her,

99
00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,400
Speaker 2: and she never showed up. So I was just like,

100
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:05,880
Speaker 2: what the fuck, Like, where's my friend? And then my

101
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,920
Speaker 2: sober friend, my roommate at the time, came home and

102
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,039
Speaker 2: I was like, yo, I don't know where my friend is.

103
00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,360
Speaker 2: We need to go look for her, like I'm scared,

104
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,520
Speaker 2: Like she doesn't have any of her stuff on her,

105
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:19,920
Speaker 2: you know. So then we drive around, we don't see

106
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,839
Speaker 2: her at all. We drive around where she lives, which

107
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,680
Speaker 2: is like ten minutes walk away from me, drive around

108
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:30,000
Speaker 2: my neighborhood, don't sear, drive around where she came from,

109
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,040
Speaker 2: wasn't there, And so then I was just I mean,

110
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:36,280
Speaker 2: I was intoxicated too. So then I called my other

111
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,919
Speaker 2: best friend. So it was me, my best friend that

112
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,919
Speaker 2: was missing at the time, and my other best friends

113
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,760
Speaker 2: who were like a trio. My other part of the

114
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,920
Speaker 2: trio was in Florida. So I FaceTime her while I'm drunk,

115
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,640
Speaker 2: and I'm like, yo, I don't know where our friend is.

116
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,000
Speaker 2: Like I don't know what to do because she doesn't

117
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,040
Speaker 2: have her phone on her, no one knows where she is.

118
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,320
Speaker 2: She could be with maybe one of her friends, like

119
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,440
Speaker 2: you know that she ran into, or maybe someone that

120
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,000
Speaker 2: else she knew in the area, like no one knew.

121
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,680
Speaker 2: So then basically I ended up just going to sleep

122
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,479
Speaker 2: that night and I was like, I don't know what

123
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,479
Speaker 2: to do. There's no way I can track this girl.

124
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:13,920
Speaker 2: I don't know where she is, and I was feeling

125
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,800
Speaker 2: ill about it, but like really truly, there's nothing that

126
00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:19,320
Speaker 2: I could do. And everyone was like, she's okay, Like

127
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,200
Speaker 2: she's probably just with like her kind of man at

128
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,640
Speaker 2: the time, friends or something along the lines of that.

129
00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:29,800
Speaker 2: But then the next day we woke up still heard

130
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,360
Speaker 2: nothing from her, which was rare because she was always

131
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,320
Speaker 2: the type to wake up early and text us that

132
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,960
Speaker 2: like she was up or whatever, send us something funny

133
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:40,599
Speaker 2: from the night before, like just some humorous shit, like

134
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,840
Speaker 2: she was funny, and we were just didn't hear from her,

135
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,039
Speaker 2: and we were like, this is so like just so

136
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:49,479
Speaker 2: fucking weird. So then me and my friend were like, okay,

137
00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,480
Speaker 2: we need to like call our other friend, the roommate

138
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,479
Speaker 2: that let her out of the car, and we do,

139
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:56,000
Speaker 2: and then we called the police. She's not in the hospital,

140
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,800
Speaker 2: she's not anywhere. And so then We're just like, this

141
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,560
Speaker 2: is so messed up up. And then like all of

142
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,720
Speaker 2: a sudden, I'm on the phone with my best friend

143
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,960
Speaker 2: and she was on the phone with our friend's stepmom

144
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,400
Speaker 2: at the time, and the police had came to their

145
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,440
Speaker 2: door and said that they had found their daughter dead.

146
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,600
Speaker 2: And then we just started flipping out. We're like, how

147
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:19,160
Speaker 2: did like how and what and where and like how

148
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:22,480
Speaker 2: did any of this happen? And basically we didn't even

149
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:24,960
Speaker 2: find out that, like the person that did this to

150
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:29,960
Speaker 2: her wasn't arrested for like two months later. This guy

151
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,200
Speaker 2: that just like murdered our friend was just out there

152
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:35,080
Speaker 2: and we had like no idea what it happened really truly,

153
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,960
Speaker 2: and then we had to wait like an entire year

154
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,920
Speaker 2: until like this past June to even go to trials

155
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:45,720
Speaker 2: for it and everything, and we still never even got

156
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,840
Speaker 2: full closure because he didn't have to go up on

157
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,960
Speaker 2: the stands because he didn't have to like choose to

158
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,160
Speaker 2: incriminate himself.

159
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,320
Speaker 1: So you don't even know, you don't even know what happened.

160
00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:59,320
Speaker 1: You're like, who is this guy? How they like this

161
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:03,480
Speaker 1: was this just was she was talking drunk along the

162
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:08,040
Speaker 1: streets and this guy just was randomly from the streets

163
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,000
Speaker 1: like kidnapped her.

164
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:14,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like in the nutshell basically what happened. I mean,

165
00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,760
Speaker 2: the trial pieced it more together for us and gave

166
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,600
Speaker 2: us like an idea of the timeline. Like we saw

167
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:25,080
Speaker 2: footage of her in her parking garage, like alone, she

168
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,720
Speaker 2: was talking to some people. But I think the conclusion

169
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,720
Speaker 2: of her like being in the parking garage and not

170
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,079
Speaker 2: being able to get up to her apartments because she

171
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:36,080
Speaker 2: didn't have her keys, and like when you have an

172
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,400
Speaker 2: elevator in the parking garage, like you can't go up

173
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,480
Speaker 2: to a floor unless you have the fob. She never

174
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,600
Speaker 2: had her fob. So there's footage of her in the

175
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,599
Speaker 2: elevator like trying to go up and down but it

176
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:48,320
Speaker 2: won't let her out on her floor. And then there's

177
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,080
Speaker 2: like footage of her going in and out of the

178
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:51,840
Speaker 2: garage like trying to talk to people.

179
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,520
Speaker 1: But is there like is there footage of her and

180
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:55,360
Speaker 1: the sky?

181
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,360
Speaker 2: Yeah?

182
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,520
Speaker 1: How did she meet this guy?

183
00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:06,520
Speaker 2: There's there's no footage of her actually meeting him. It's

184
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:10,600
Speaker 2: hearsay of like what he said how they met, which

185
00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:15,160
Speaker 2: was they met like five blocks away from my house,

186
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:19,120
Speaker 2: which was legitimately on campus at this university, So that

187
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:23,360
Speaker 2: just shows you everything about safety at colleges. He was

188
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:27,960
Speaker 2: just lurking at two to five am on a random

189
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:38,280
Speaker 2: Tuesday night, like nobody's business, and he said that that

190
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:41,640
Speaker 2: night he was looking to get drunk and fuck some bitches.

191
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:49,040
Speaker 2: So then he picks up my friend while she's overly intoxicated,

192
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:54,880
Speaker 2: alone and drunk. And the technical cause of her death

193
00:09:55,040 --> 00:10:01,000
Speaker 2: was speentanel. So what we won't do like ever know

194
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:08,000
Speaker 2: is because the autopsy doesn't reveal how the sentinel was ingested.

195
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,760
Speaker 2: They didn't find any like points on her skin or

196
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,960
Speaker 2: anything like that, like either she took a pill of

197
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:18,920
Speaker 2: some sort or like bad drugs, but like well just

198
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:20,840
Speaker 2: or like the thing is is like I know she

199
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:27,440
Speaker 2: would never do that, so it's like very difficult for

200
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:33,000
Speaker 2: me to ever think that would happen. And he also

201
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:37,760
Speaker 2: raped her two times, three times more maybe I don't know,

202
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:43,640
Speaker 2: but Jesus, yeah, it's just like I don't ever think

203
00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:47,560
Speaker 2: that she would willingly do that. But like people originally

204
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,800
Speaker 2: when this happened, people thought that like she did this

205
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,560
Speaker 2: to herself, like they thought that she took bad drugs

206
00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:55,800
Speaker 2: and killed herself. But I knew that it was never

207
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:56,640
Speaker 2: true the whole time.

208
00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:02,040
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to hear about all this. This is a wild, wild,

209
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:08,440
Speaker 1: wild thing, especially you know, being you know, in contact

210
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,600
Speaker 1: with her the night that it all happened.

211
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:15,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I mean the hardest part is definitely the

212
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:19,200
Speaker 2: guilt of like wishing I wouldn't have never went to

213
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,760
Speaker 2: sleep and just like looked for her more and like

214
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,160
Speaker 2: went in the parking garage. It's just like it was

215
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,800
Speaker 2: the first we had moved down there. We had hung

216
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:30,040
Speaker 2: out that day, Like we went to the grocery store together,

217
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,040
Speaker 2: we went to the gym. We were like, yeah, like

218
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,160
Speaker 2: let's get ready like this year, and then we were like,

219
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:38,040
Speaker 2: we're going out later, and then like we literally were

220
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,720
Speaker 2: at the gym and then we hugged and we were

221
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:41,640
Speaker 2: like see you later, like because she was gonna come

222
00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:47,680
Speaker 2: over that night anyway. And so it's just crazy that

223
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:51,280
Speaker 2: like we were texting and it was like twelve, it

224
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,280
Speaker 2: was midnight, and I was talking to her and then

225
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,080
Speaker 2: like I could tell she was drunk, but then I

226
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:56,640
Speaker 2: thought I was going to see her later, and then

227
00:11:56,679 --> 00:11:59,599
Speaker 2: I just woke up to that the next day. And

228
00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:02,720
Speaker 2: I mean, even the crazier part is that my like

229
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:06,120
Speaker 2: the other person that's in the trio or our best friends,

230
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,920
Speaker 2: Like her best friend was murdered like four months prior

231
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:12,560
Speaker 2: to this, So this is like the second time that

232
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,800
Speaker 2: my other friend was going through this. And like she

233
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,600
Speaker 2: genuinely was in like disbelief when she called me. She

234
00:12:17,679 --> 00:12:19,679
Speaker 2: was just like, I can't even like process this.

235
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:26,439
Speaker 1: Well, you know, your friend's friend had another friend to

236
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:31,559
Speaker 1: get murdered four months before this. Yeah, at the same school.

237
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,080
Speaker 2: No, he didn't go to college with us. It was

238
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:35,920
Speaker 2: a friend from home.

239
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,280
Speaker 1: How long ago did all this stuff happen?

240
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:43,559
Speaker 2: This is all the year twenty twenty two, so.

241
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,360
Speaker 1: It's still pretty pretty new.

242
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a.

243
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:51,320
Speaker 2: Two year deathmark of our friends, a male friend that

244
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,360
Speaker 2: we had that passed away just.

245
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:53,959
Speaker 4: A week she did.

246
00:12:55,679 --> 00:13:00,520
Speaker 1: Man, So the things that you were talking about not

247
00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:06,360
Speaker 1: getting closure on are really just like like what exactly happens? Right?

248
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:09,840
Speaker 2: I'm like, did were they doing cocaine? Like like I

249
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,720
Speaker 2: just like I just want to know, you know. It's

250
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,440
Speaker 2: like and then we obviously, like me and my other

251
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:19,240
Speaker 2: best friend are like freaking detectives because the police weren't

252
00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,920
Speaker 2: doing as they should. They treated the whole case like

253
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,520
Speaker 2: an overdose when they found my friend not like a murder.

254
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:29,679
Speaker 2: They didn't fingerprint anything. There was like cut straws. There

255
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:34,320
Speaker 2: was definitely probably drugs present, but like they said, there wasn't.

256
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,320
Speaker 2: I mean, they see and the guy that did this,

257
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:41,560
Speaker 2: keep in mind, was thirty five or thirty six and

258
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:42,640
Speaker 2: she was twenty years old.

259
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:44,480
Speaker 4: Mm.

260
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:53,800
Speaker 5: So yeah, And this all happened at a thirty six

261
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,439
Speaker 5: year old's parents' house, and the parents were the.

262
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,280
Speaker 2: One that called the police, not the guy that did

263
00:13:59,280 --> 00:13:59,960
Speaker 2: this to my friend.

264
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:04,720
Speaker 1: And so so that guy didn't get charged with murder,

265
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:08,320
Speaker 1: you said, what, but he's behind what exactly happened.

266
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,479
Speaker 3: He got charged with rape.

267
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:14,400
Speaker 2: And for distributing alcohol to a minor.

268
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,280
Speaker 1: That's fucking crazy because he.

269
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:23,400
Speaker 2: Admitted to supplying her with weed and alcohol. But her

270
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:25,120
Speaker 2: assistant says, spinal.

271
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:29,240
Speaker 1: And who are you? Who are you with?

272
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:31,520
Speaker 2: This is my boyfriend?

273
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:33,080
Speaker 1: What's up?

274
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:43,960
Speaker 2: Man? Like you have to go on here? He's like, yeah,

275
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,360
Speaker 2: it's just it's a lot of a lot of crazy

276
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:50,840
Speaker 2: ship honestly, can I want to expose the state because

277
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:57,120
Speaker 2: Indiana Indiana's laws are the reason that his motherfucker's not

278
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:58,120
Speaker 2: gone for murder.

279
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,640
Speaker 1: Right now, I will say a few pe people I've

280
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,080
Speaker 1: I've checked out the chat a couple of times while

281
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:05,920
Speaker 1: we've been talking, and there have been a couple of

282
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:11,560
Speaker 1: people who deduced that it was Indiana. Damn, somebody in

283
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:12,960
Speaker 1: the chat, And I don't know if this is true,

284
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,600
Speaker 1: but I and I actually might be making this up

285
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,920
Speaker 1: because I just kind of glanced at it. But somebody

286
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:21,920
Speaker 1: in the chat said that like Indiana like an like

287
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:25,120
Speaker 1: Indiana University, that like ship like this happens a lot.

288
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:26,440
Speaker 1: Is that true?

289
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:30,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's not surprising. The culture

290
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:34,120
Speaker 2: that's breeded at Indiana University is the most toxic and

291
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:39,560
Speaker 2: just messed up, like culture of kids dying underage.

292
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,960
Speaker 1: And so you've graduated way.

293
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:44,800
Speaker 2: Too many dots there.

294
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, what are you doing now?

295
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,520
Speaker 2: I live like near Chicago.

296
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:58,640
Speaker 1: Okay, and I guess I have a few bunch of questions.

297
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:02,000
Speaker 1: I mean, how how often are do you do you

298
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,280
Speaker 1: think about this? I mean, it's only been two years,

299
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,880
Speaker 1: It's not like this is something that is heavily in

300
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,560
Speaker 1: the past, but like, how often do you do you

301
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,200
Speaker 1: think about it? How often does it like persist in

302
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:11,720
Speaker 1: your brain?

303
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:19,680
Speaker 2: Oh? Man, I mean I mean recently, I've had an

304
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,880
Speaker 2: easier time with it I don't really know why, but

305
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:28,400
Speaker 2: I feel like the weight of it is finally getting

306
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:32,400
Speaker 2: a little easier to put them in my fath just

307
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:35,520
Speaker 2: trying to stay positive and like live a normalish life

308
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:40,200
Speaker 2: after all this, you know. Yeah, yeah, but I mean before,

309
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,880
Speaker 2: like over the last summer after I graduated in May

310
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,840
Speaker 2: twenty twenty three, I started working right after it, just

311
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,080
Speaker 2: because I was like, screw it, like I want money,

312
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,760
Speaker 2: Like I just don't need to sit around and like

313
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:58,960
Speaker 2: pretend all this didn't happen, you know, and like what

314
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,880
Speaker 2: was I gonna say, Oh yeah, back then, like in

315
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:04,359
Speaker 2: June and July, Like when I first started working, I

316
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:08,800
Speaker 2: thought about it so much, Like I couldn't sometimes during work,

317
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,320
Speaker 2: I would just have to like get up and go

318
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,360
Speaker 2: to the bathroom just to like sob a little bit.

319
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:16,080
Speaker 2: But I mean, it's way better than that now, just

320
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,800
Speaker 2: after the trials. The trials was a lot, and leading

321
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,359
Speaker 2: up to that, because I had to be on the

322
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:25,200
Speaker 2: stands a couple of times. Didn't want them to like

323
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:29,719
Speaker 2: like grill me about stuff, you know, like why I

324
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:33,360
Speaker 2: wasn't trying to help more like they were, because basically

325
00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:37,120
Speaker 2: the other side of the case, the defense of the

326
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:41,360
Speaker 2: criminal was trying to say like Avery did this often

327
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,080
Speaker 2: and like this was a part of her behavior to

328
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,040
Speaker 2: like be reckless and drunk and all this, And I

329
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,760
Speaker 2: like it was just hard because they had the evidence

330
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,800
Speaker 2: on my phone and stuff, Like I thought they would

331
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,879
Speaker 2: like look through our messages and stuff and kind of

332
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:59,159
Speaker 2: like see that. You know, we were partiers at the time, truly,

333
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,080
Speaker 2: but who is it? You know, it's like we were

334
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:05,600
Speaker 2: in college. Everybody was drinking, everyone smoked a little weed

335
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:09,920
Speaker 2: everyone and I you stay it in the chat everyone

336
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:16,120
Speaker 2: ie you does blow that's the culture.

337
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:21,920
Speaker 1: And how long How long was the How long was

338
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:22,520
Speaker 1: the trial for?

339
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,000
Speaker 2: It was a week?

340
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,879
Speaker 1: When did that end? Was that also like around the

341
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,000
Speaker 1: end of twenty twenty.

342
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:35,440
Speaker 2: Two, right right before fourth of July of twenty twenty three.

343
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,480
Speaker 2: This is like lessons, this is like six months ago, No,

344
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,760
Speaker 2: almost a year actually, like eight months.

345
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,000
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, you know, like I know you talked about

346
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:49,000
Speaker 1: like this, this feeling of guilt, and I am sure

347
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:52,600
Speaker 1: I'm not the first person to tell you this, but

348
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:59,000
Speaker 1: you know, of course your friend getting murdered is not

349
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:00,880
Speaker 1: your faults.

350
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:09,640
Speaker 2: Right, But I feel like every single day is like

351
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 2: like I look at a picturver and I'm like fuck,

352
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,760
Speaker 2: like why, like why did I go to sleep? Like

353
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:20,240
Speaker 2: It's just it goes to show for anybody in out

354
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:24,880
Speaker 2: there right now listening to this, never leave your friends alone,

355
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:28,760
Speaker 2: and don't go out with the dead phone, and always

356
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,240
Speaker 2: keep your stuff on you, you know, and a weapon

357
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,760
Speaker 2: and a and a fucking weapon if it's a niney

358
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:39,280
Speaker 2: or pepper spray or something like Lord forbid. You know

359
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,639
Speaker 2: this stuff happens every single day, and you don't understand

360
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,520
Speaker 2: that the depth of it until it's someone that you

361
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,960
Speaker 2: really love, like someone that you talk to every single day.

362
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:59,240
Speaker 1: M How has the uh process of moving on? Now

363
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:02,240
Speaker 1: that you're out of school and you're working and it

364
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,720
Speaker 1: sounds like you're living with your boyfriend, how's the process

365
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 1: of uh? You laugh? Are you're not living with your boyfriend? No?

366
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:15,360
Speaker 2: Okay, we we live like it's funny, like we joke.

367
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,600
Speaker 2: We're like medium distance right now. We live like thirty

368
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,640
Speaker 2: minutes away from each other. But it's way better than

369
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,160
Speaker 2: how we were when I was at school. So I'm grateful.

370
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,000
Speaker 1: I I you know what, I guess. I guess for

371
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,560
Speaker 1: like a little second, I lived in a universe where,

372
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:30,280
Speaker 1: of course, why would her why would her boyfriend just

373
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,439
Speaker 1: be over. They have to live together. I don't know

374
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,640
Speaker 1: why these I lived.

375
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:39,119
Speaker 2: In for a second we're living together. Why they live

376
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 2: together and get married and have kids?

377
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:45,480
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, wait, vibe vibean's good vibein is A is

378
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,000
Speaker 1: A is a relationship status? I would I would put

379
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:52,960
Speaker 1: that on your Facebook. How's the process of Okay, so

380
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 1: you're a vibe? And that's what I was going to

381
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,399
Speaker 1: ask you is, how's how's vibing? How's the process of vibing?

382
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 1: How's how's today? How the last week?

383
00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:04,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's definitely it's been a lot. Like

384
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,080
Speaker 2: I've said, the past couple of weeks been a lot,

385
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,960
Speaker 2: just better. I don't know. I've been more positive and

386
00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:13,719
Speaker 2: just I don't know, not not getting over it.

387
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:20,480
Speaker 4: But she's always positive. I've seen nothing since before from after.

388
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,880
Speaker 4: She's changed so much, but in the greatest way possible.

389
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:29,040
Speaker 4: It's it's shocking to me. She's always positive, which is crazy.

390
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:35,159
Speaker 1: I like, this guy's cool guy? What is is he

391
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 1: on the speakerphone?

392
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:37,600
Speaker 6: Yeah?

393
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, can't talk to can't talk to him real

394
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 1: Quick's so good? What's your deal?

395
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:47,879
Speaker 4: Man? My deal is her deal? I just told her

396
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 4: to call and because I got the notification that you're streaming,

397
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 4: and I just found you a couple of months ago

398
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,479
Speaker 4: and I've been watching NonStop. So I was like, well,

399
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,159
Speaker 4: I don't have ship to tell, but he does. So

400
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:00,040
Speaker 4: I'm just glad she called you.

401
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:00,560
Speaker 3: You quicked up.

402
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 2: We were cracking up right before you called, because like

403
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:08,399
Speaker 2: my text were so dry, and I was like, I

404
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,159
Speaker 2: was like, he's not going to know what I'm saying.

405
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 1: I'm well, so okay, So you guys aren't living together,

406
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,760
Speaker 1: but you're vibing. That's good, and uh, you got it?

407
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,680
Speaker 1: What are you? What is it? What's your job now?

408
00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 2: I'm in marketing. Yeah, I graduated from the business school. Yeah.

409
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 1: Are you enjoying? You know? I guess I'm curious because

410
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 1: the way that you kind of opened to the call.

411
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,200
Speaker 1: I know that you you know, a lot of what

412
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 1: you seemed to be dealing with right now, you know

413
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 1: is in relation to this, but it seems like you

414
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 1: were in some sort of of a of an overall

415
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:51,119
Speaker 1: encompassing malaise of some kind. Is that is that? Is

416
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:52,439
Speaker 1: that true? Am I making that up?

417
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,480
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean that's the thing. Is like all of

418
00:22:55,520 --> 00:23:00,879
Speaker 2: this just really made me so eye opened to like

419
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 2: how I mean, this honestly is gonna sound so corny,

420
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 2: but there's that Kanye video where he's like I ask

421
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:10,119
Speaker 2: God to deliver me from pain and he took my

422
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:14,040
Speaker 2: mom And it's like, in a way, that's like how

423
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,320
Speaker 2: this feels, Like it's it's hard to have anything that

424
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:19,160
Speaker 2: could ever really hurt that much. And it's like it's

425
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,240
Speaker 2: kind of made me so like not even in a

426
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 2: bad way, like not numb, but just like it made

427
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:27,200
Speaker 2: me realize how little so much means, and like how

428
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 2: much someone means, you know, m h m hm.

429
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,880
Speaker 1: Ask good delivery from pain. So he took my mom

430
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 1: as in, like you want me to deliver you from pain.

431
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:41,720
Speaker 1: Here's the most painful thing now, right, there's no more

432
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 1: pain in comparison.

433
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,760
Speaker 2: Right, It's like it's it's not even and obviously like

434
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 2: I live in fear of just like even my little brother,

435
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 2: like he still goes to IU. So it's definitely like

436
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,920
Speaker 2: i still have a lot of like worry with that,

437
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:58,480
Speaker 2: just because I'm like the culture there, like I said,

438
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:02,440
Speaker 2: is very like toxic. So I'm like that definitely still

439
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 2: stresses me out. But I'm like at the end of

440
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,160
Speaker 2: the day, like yeah, like at the end of the day,

441
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,439
Speaker 2: it's like all these things I just think that I

442
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 2: can't control, and I'm I kill myself worrying about all

443
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 2: of that when I you know, try to chill out

444
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 2: for some time. But yeah, I haven't really been going

445
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 2: to therapy much when I probably should be. But I

446
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,680
Speaker 2: don't know. I just feel like if I was going

447
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 2: on like a consistent basis, it would make it like weirder.

448
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 2: It would make it harder for me to open up

449
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:39,359
Speaker 2: about it authentically because I feel like when he just

450
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 2: told me to come up here, I was like, screw it,

451
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:45,719
Speaker 2: I'll talk about it right now, because like I definitely

452
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,680
Speaker 2: like feel the love for my friend enough to talk

453
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 2: about her every single day to anybody. But at the

454
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,399
Speaker 2: same time, it's like to a therapist and like paying

455
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,680
Speaker 2: someone and like, I don't know that that.

456
00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 3: To me is titchy.

457
00:24:58,640 --> 00:24:59,040
Speaker 2: I don't know.

458
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 1: I guess you, yeah, you don't want it to see

459
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 1: to seem like you're like rehearsing it or something like that,

460
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,720
Speaker 1: or is that is that kind of.

461
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 3: Right?

462
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 2: I mean, it's it's genuinely like I've talked about it

463
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:19,359
Speaker 2: so so much and like just even with you know,

464
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 2: like obviously you can imagine my best friend's text and

465
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 2: I like or like our text every day are very

466
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 2: like we talk about our friends that we lost quite

467
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 2: a bit, and it's like I get a lot of

468
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 2: just release, like just talking to them about her and like,

469
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,120
Speaker 2: you know, looking at old video stuff like that, and

470
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:41,400
Speaker 2: like obviously just like having my boyfriend and my family

471
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:44,880
Speaker 2: and stuff, like they all understand everything that and it's

472
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 2: it's also kind of crazy too because my little brother

473
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,239
Speaker 2: was also very good friends with this girl, so like

474
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,879
Speaker 2: sometimes we talk about her and it like hits a

475
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 2: different part, you know.

476
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 1: I was going to ask, how's your relationship with that?

477
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:01,480
Speaker 1: So it was a trio. It was you friend Avery

478
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:05,719
Speaker 1: and this other girl? Who's who's this other girl? Are

479
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 1: you still friends with her?

480
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 5: Oh?

481
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's my best dat day one? So we talked. Yeah,

482
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,280
Speaker 2: every day, we hang out quite a lot. We go

483
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:16,119
Speaker 2: to church together.

484
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 3: We're very.

485
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 4: Encouraging.

486
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:24,080
Speaker 2: I would say we both have like opposite work schedules

487
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 2: right now. So like she's on midnights and I have

488
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:28,880
Speaker 2: a regular nine to five. So she's always like up

489
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 2: when I'm not up, and I'm always asleep when she's up.

490
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 1: And yeah, oh is she like a like a nurse

491
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 1: or something.

492
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's going to PA school, so she's got to

493
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 2: get those patient care hours in at the hospital. M Yeah.

494
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 2: But yeah, super encouraging. And like she was the friend

495
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 2: that also lost someone else very close to her too,

496
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 2: so like it's super weird. It's like, you know, she

497
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,159
Speaker 2: lost her best friend and then like I mean not

498
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,239
Speaker 2: to say that like we weren't all best friends, but

499
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,199
Speaker 2: like I avery, I had known her like quite a

500
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 2: long time and stuff, like since high school, and just

501
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:04,240
Speaker 2: like to have her kind of like help me through that,

502
00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:07,159
Speaker 2: you know, because I couldn't imagine like what she was

503
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 2: feeling like back then when like I was with her

504
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 2: at the funeral and stuff, because I wasn't as close

505
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 2: with that person. So I was just like I could

506
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,239
Speaker 2: never imagine what she feels like right now, and then

507
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:19,960
Speaker 2: I literally had to go through it. I'm like, damn,

508
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,800
Speaker 2: you know, some things maybe really do happen for a reason.

509
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 1: You know, what are you excited about for the future.

510
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 2: I'm definitely excited about the business I'm going to start

511
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 2: in honor of her, because.

512
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 1: It's a business.

513
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:47,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I think I'm just gonna do some digital marketing,

514
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 2: like what I do as a career now for a brand.

515
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 2: I'm just going to do more agency type of work

516
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 2: and try to work for some cool brands. Because it's

517
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:58,199
Speaker 2: funny when we were when Avery and I were juniors,

518
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 2: we were actually going to intern at this for a

519
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,199
Speaker 2: marketing company or a tequila company. We're going to be

520
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 2: in the marketing department together. But then she ended up

521
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 2: like needing to stay home that like summer because she

522
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 2: had just been abroad, so her dad didn't want her

523
00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:14,879
Speaker 2: to like live in Chicago and blah blah blah. But yeah,

524
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:16,760
Speaker 2: so I was just like she was a super creative

525
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:20,960
Speaker 2: person and like she was into digital and social media.

526
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:21,199
Speaker 3: Just like me.

527
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:23,639
Speaker 2: So we're very similar in that way. And I just

528
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 2: thought it'd be sitting to have a company, you know,

529
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 2: name after her, and then we'll always have something with

530
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:29,439
Speaker 2: her around, you know.

531
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,920
Speaker 1: Are you gonna name your your your agency after her?

532
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 1: Mm hmm yeah, very nice, very nice. Yeah, no, go ahead.

533
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 2: And then I'm gonna try to incorporate some philanthropy into

534
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 2: it as well, with just trying to give back to

535
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 2: anyone with mental health and the opioid addiction in the

536
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,560
Speaker 2: crisis going on in this country right now. It's just

537
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 2: really personal with all of that. I mean, if truly,

538
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 2: if all these drugs weren't as accessible and weren't as

539
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 2: you know, accepted in our culture and all that, Like,

540
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 2: I just feel like this wouldn't have happened to her, Like,

541
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 2: I mean, I just I've never heard of someone just

542
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 2: like killing someone with fatan all until this like happened.

543
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 2: And then I just realized, like, wow, this like actually

544
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 2: happens with people every day. There's really sad that, like

545
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 2: the number one leading killer of people eighteen to thirty.

546
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:31,479
Speaker 2: Is that all?

547
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 1: Really that's the number one.

548
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like besides, I'm pretty sure it's like car

549
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 2: wrecks and satanal is like in the top five. Now

550
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 2: the number one too.

551
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 1: I'm pretty I thought it was suicide.

552
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe that is too. Honestly, I'm not sure, but

553
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 2: I saw I know, I thought no, I thought he said,

554
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 2: gont forget that big one.

555
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:56,520
Speaker 4: Yeah.

556
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 1: I was about to be like this is a fun

557
00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:58,760
Speaker 1: little conversation.

558
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I don't know what it is, but I

559
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 2: swore I thought I saw a statistic that top three

560
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 2: fetanyl for sure.

561
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 1: Tough three, Top three sounds sounds accurate.

562
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, It's just it's just really sad, and it's it's

563
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 2: also crazy because like the guy, me and my best friend,

564
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 2: like we would stop the guy that did this, and

565
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 2: like his family and just like see the things that

566
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 2: they would post and like leading up to what he

567
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 2: did to my friend, he would like post about like

568
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,520
Speaker 2: drugging and raping and like taking money from white women

569
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 2: and stuff, and like how white women were so gullible

570
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 2: and like all that, and I was just like, that's

571
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 2: so disgusting. And then you'd go to his mom's Facebook

572
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 2: profile and she literally would say, my my sons are

573
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:57,400
Speaker 2: addicted to fetanyl. But they couldn't put they couldn't put

574
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 2: one in, you know, two and two together to pin

575
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 2: the fetanyl on him.

576
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,960
Speaker 1: I was about to say, like, was there were those

577
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:09,040
Speaker 1: Facebook posts? Not were they like brought into the trial?

578
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 2: The trial The trial was at that point had nothing

579
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 2: to do with the fetanyl. Basically, the trials was all

580
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 2: to do it's like the rape and and whether or

581
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:26,200
Speaker 2: not alcohol contributed to her death.

582
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,600
Speaker 1: So there's there was no like if the guy just

583
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 1: goes on Facebook and and and admits to that, there

584
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 1: was no like did that that didn't like trigger any

585
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 1: any anything.

586
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, they want to do it as they don't want

587
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 4: to do more than they have to do.

588
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were like the murder isn't going to get

589
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:53,720
Speaker 2: in The murder for like basically selling someone or giving

590
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 2: someone a drug and it kills them in Indiana is

591
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 2: like five to seven years in prison.

592
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:02,160
Speaker 1: Oh okay, so that's like that's a technicality.

593
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 3: In in aena.

594
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, that like rape getting him on, like the rape

595
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:12,800
Speaker 2: and the distribution of alcohol to a minor. And he

596
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 2: also while he was in jail, he also used a

597
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:23,120
Speaker 2: different inmates pen and tried coercing the person that he

598
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:26,040
Speaker 2: called at five am when Avery was quote unquote still

599
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 2: alive to live for him on the stand, and they

600
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 2: had recordings and transcripts of it all and we've got

601
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 2: to listen to it all in course. So he also

602
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:35,480
Speaker 2: got charged for that.

603
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 1: Geez, Yeah, what idiot are you? What's his mom posts?

604
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 1: Do you still look at like his family's Facebook posts?

605
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:45,600
Speaker 6: Yeah?

606
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 2: Sometimes we haven't really looked recently. I should honestly look.

607
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 1: Ye, it's probably I don't know, I'm not a it's

608
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 1: it's probably for the best to not look at it.

609
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 2: I think, no, right, And it's like, honestly, it's like

610
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 2: with all this it's like, as much as I love her,

611
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:07,480
Speaker 2: it's like this is how it was for like a

612
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 2: whole year when we didn't know anything about what happened.

613
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 2: Is like we were constant looking and like searching, and

614
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 2: so then it's like after the trials and stuff, it

615
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 2: was just really good to be able to just kind

616
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 2: of have some peace with all of it and like

617
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 2: not really care because I knew he was gonna probably

618
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 2: be back there for life. Plus when he got arrested

619
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 2: in his prince went in the system, it actually came

620
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 2: up and matched another girl's rape kit from a year

621
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 2: before Josh, And so now he's getting tried for that

622
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:44,360
Speaker 2: one too, So now he might be and it's the

623
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:47,480
Speaker 2: same judge, so she's definitely gonna like back to back

624
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 2: the sentences and then like he'll probably be in.

625
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:53,480
Speaker 4: There for life.

626
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 2: That's fucking crazy, right, Yeah, it just it makes me sick.

627
00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 2: It makes me so sick that and and one time

628
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 2: I was actually recently I don't want to say this

629
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:10,360
Speaker 2: girl's name, but shout out to my one friend that

630
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:18,799
Speaker 2: lives in Hyde Park. He told me that if it

631
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:24,439
Speaker 2: gives me any closure, Avery, this happening to Avery might

632
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:27,399
Speaker 2: have been for that girl, you know, to have her

633
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 2: closure with it, because that they would have never found him,

634
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,240
Speaker 2: and they would have she probably never would have got

635
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:35,360
Speaker 2: justice at this then, like avery had to be the

636
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 2: reason for all this to stop, because who knows how

637
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:40,240
Speaker 2: many girls there were form.

638
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:42,000
Speaker 3: And in the future.

639
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 1: Right, And this guy he just like openly and admitted

640
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:45,799
Speaker 1: to it on Facebook.

641
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, but no, no, his yeah, he tiptoed around it.

642
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 2: He was just like I didn't get like I don't

643
00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:00,879
Speaker 2: even know. The way he responded to it all just

644
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 2: like made him look so guilty, Like yeah, he was

645
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 2: like I didn't do shit, Like I never even knew

646
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:11,239
Speaker 2: this bitch, Like you know what I'm saying, Like had

647
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:14,359
Speaker 2: this attitude that like he didn't know what happened to her.

648
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 2: And I'm like she was alone and without any phone wallet,

649
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 2: if she didn't have any of that, how the fuck

650
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 2: would she have fatanal? Like you clearly supplied her with it.

651
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 2: Where did it come from? What did you do to her?

652
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:28,480
Speaker 1: You know?

653
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,359
Speaker 2: It's like I want to know if he like did

654
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:34,719
Speaker 2: that to her and then raped her and kid, like

655
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 2: you know, like I just like I just want to know.

656
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 2: I just want to know, Like I'll never know. But

657
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 2: I mean, I was just praying that she was in

658
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 2: a honestly, I pray that she was like out of

659
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:51,839
Speaker 2: it when all that was happening, you know, for the

660
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:57,080
Speaker 2: best of her.

661
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:07,960
Speaker 1: Well Amy, Wait, Amy was the name I gave you.

662
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:09,919
Speaker 6: Yeah, we got you know what.

663
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,759
Speaker 1: You know what, after all this, if you want to

664
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:14,919
Speaker 1: pick a different name, you can pick a different name.

665
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:21,879
Speaker 2: I don't even have a better one. Yeah, I don't

666
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 2: even have a better one. But yeah, I mean all

667
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 2: this definitely some crazy ship.

668
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 1: But well, I'm glad. I'm Look. Look man, I'm glad

669
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 1: that you're doing You seem like you're doing better. You're

670
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:40,400
Speaker 1: ready to go and do this. This marketing agency that

671
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,680
Speaker 1: you're going to name after her. I think I think

672
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 1: I'm glad. I'm I'm I'm. My verdict is, I'm glad

673
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 1: you're you're not swarming Facebook with looking at at your friends. No,

674
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:02,240
Speaker 1: you're not your friend looking at uh uh this guy's family.

675
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 1: You know, it's not like you're you're I like that

676
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:06,680
Speaker 1: you're doing the things that are are are sort of

677
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:08,359
Speaker 1: forward moving, you know.

678
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 2: I think it's good. I think I think it's important

679
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,279
Speaker 2: to do that and to anybody, even just struggling with

680
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 2: grief too. I mean, the thing that gives you comfort

681
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:21,439
Speaker 2: to is that they wouldn't like if if Avery had

682
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:23,360
Speaker 2: in my life right now, she would want me to

683
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 2: live that shit to the fullest.

684
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 1: Absolutely, you know.

685
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:31,120
Speaker 2: She was full of life, literally so full of life,

686
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:34,439
Speaker 2: and so if I didn't the days that I don't

687
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 2: feel like getting out of bed and like doing anything

688
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 2: and being sad, it's just I'm like, she would not

689
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:39,799
Speaker 2: want this for me at all.

690
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:46,799
Speaker 1: Well, Amy, is there anything else that you or or

691
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:50,319
Speaker 1: or your boyfriend want to talk about or say to

692
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 1: the people of the computer before we go?

693
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:57,280
Speaker 2: No, I'm good. Yeah to everyone out there, hug your friends,

694
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 2: extra clothes, every take.

695
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:02,319
Speaker 1: Care of me. Thank you for calling, and thank you

696
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 1: for sharing your story. How did it feel to talk about?

697
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 3: Was?

698
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:06,680
Speaker 1: Did it feel good to talk about? At least?

699
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:10,560
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, it actually really did it really good?

700
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 2: Thank you so much?

701
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 1: Gag of course, of course have Yeah, we got to

702
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,719
Speaker 1: hear what this guy's story is, but that's for another time.

703
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 1: I'm sure he's got stuff all right. You gotta take care.

704
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 3: Hello, big hands there.

705
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 1: I don't know what you just said, but what's your name?

706
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:41,720
Speaker 3: My name is Ryan.

707
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:44,160
Speaker 1: What's up? Ryan? How can I get you today?

708
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:46,080
Speaker 6: You could?

709
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,920
Speaker 3: You could get me, get me in the mouth, feeling

710
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:50,719
Speaker 3: a little hungry, and I just want to talk about

711
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:52,000
Speaker 3: food food for a little bit.

712
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:56,719
Speaker 1: Oh man, all right. I respect the boldness that you

713
00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:57,920
Speaker 1: just just put on display.

714
00:38:58,440 --> 00:38:59,879
Speaker 3: What's your what's your favorite food?

715
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 1: What's my favorite food? Oh man? You want to talk

716
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 1: about food? You want to talk about food?

717
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:06,480
Speaker 2: Ryan?

718
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 1: Ryan? Is that what you said? Your name was? Yes,

719
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,280
Speaker 1: you want to talk about food. Let's fucking talk about food. Okay,

720
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 1: here's my thing, Ryan, I'm god, I'm trying to lose

721
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 1: weight because I'm gonna tell you, guys, I'm gonna just

722
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,600
Speaker 1: rant for a second. If if you don't mind, you

723
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:33,960
Speaker 1: got me going a little crazy. I do so in

724
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 1: ju I think so. I started doing therapy getto in

725
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 1: June of twenty twenty, and in the four years that

726
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:47,520
Speaker 1: I've done this podcast, I think I gained forty or

727
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:51,280
Speaker 1: fifty pounds or something like that, forty fifty pounds because

728
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 1: I just well, a couple things happened. One thing that

729
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 1: happened was, you know, once the podcast started to like

730
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 1: be a little bit more successful, I think I thought

731
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 1: to myself, like, oh okay, I'm just gonna, you know,

732
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:08,920
Speaker 1: put all of my stock into this podcast and then

733
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 1: who gives a shit what my body looks or feels

734
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:16,319
Speaker 1: like because I have a successful podcast. You know. That

735
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 1: was terrible decision. But also I just like what I

736
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:25,080
Speaker 1: would do. It was four years, Ryan, it was four

737
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 1: years of Okay, sit in this chair three times a

738
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 1: week and talk to people on the phone for two hours.

739
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 1: And then how does one how do you think one

740
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 1: decompresses after talking to strangers about stuff for two.

741
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 7: Hours, breath eating, by stress eating by no, no, by first

742
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 7: getting extremely high and then eating an extra genuinely maybe

743
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:54,080
Speaker 7: four thousand calories every single night.

744
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:57,279
Speaker 1: I mean, it was. It was crazy. And then at

745
00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 1: the beginning of this year, I was like, all right,

746
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 1: I got stop. This is not cool. So now Ryan,

747
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 1: I have a little I have a folder on my

748
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 1: notes app. I have one for food and one for fitness,

749
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:14,840
Speaker 1: and the fitness one I track my my lifts, and

750
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 1: then the food one I'm trying to eat at a

751
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:20,080
Speaker 1: caloric deficit. I put my I put my ship into

752
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 1: that calculator, you know, that calculator that tells you how

753
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 1: many calories to.

754
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:27,799
Speaker 3: How many you gotta burn and how much you gotta

755
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 3: eat and how long you gotta run?

756
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so I got I'm a caloric deficit. I

757
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 1: gotta I've limited myself to two thousand calories a day,

758
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:42,320
Speaker 1: which is, you know what is actually a pretty sizable

759
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 1: amount of calories, I think, But now I'm like.

760
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 3: A daily value of that that it's like for a

761
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:52,719
Speaker 3: normal cuman human mail.

762
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 1: I think it's a daily value value for a normal

763
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:57,399
Speaker 1: human male. Now I don't do I haven't been doing

764
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 1: it every single day for the for the whole year.

765
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:03,360
Speaker 1: God No, I've had plenty of I think I've actually

766
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 1: done it like most of the days in the last

767
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:10,239
Speaker 1: two months. Maybe, but I mean there's been a lot

768
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:13,319
Speaker 1: of times I'm going on venders and still but I low,

769
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:16,880
Speaker 1: here's what happens now. I log my venders, so like

770
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:19,640
Speaker 1: I no matter whether I log everything, now, I log

771
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,319
Speaker 1: everything now. And I'm like, oh my god, I was

772
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:26,080
Speaker 1: eating like I law I had I had this day recently.

773
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 1: I was just feeling pretty miserable and I was like,

774
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:32,360
Speaker 1: the only I just need some dopamine in my life.

775
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 1: And I it started with it. It started as it

776
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:41,960
Speaker 1: always does with I'm just I'm just gonna say this.

777
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 1: I don't care if they want to sponsor this podcast

778
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:47,000
Speaker 1: one day, I'm not. I I cannot in good faith,

779
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:53,400
Speaker 1: UH promote this company because the Okay, my least favorite

780
00:42:53,400 --> 00:43:00,000
Speaker 1: brand of all time is Starbucks. For multiple way. I

781
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 1: hate Starbucks. I love Duncan. If Duncan ever wants to

782
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 1: be a sponsor of the Therapy Gical podcast, I got them.

783
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:09,399
Speaker 1: But I hate Starbucks. I hate them because I think

784
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:13,319
Speaker 1: their coffee tastes shitty, and I think it's it's the

785
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:19,920
Speaker 1: most pretentious brand of all time. They sell a cake pop,

786
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,680
Speaker 1: they sell a unicorn cake pop, they sell a variety

787
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:25,880
Speaker 1: of different cake pops, and it's a It's literally it's

788
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:29,759
Speaker 1: a one single bite of cake. Ryan. And guess how

789
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:33,840
Speaker 1: much one single bite of cake cost your.

790
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:37,920
Speaker 3: Soul, your corporate soul is sold to Starbucks.

791
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:43,359
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure it costs. I'm pretty sure it costs

792
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:46,480
Speaker 1: like four dollars for this one bite of cake. I

793
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:48,480
Speaker 1: hate these cake pops. I eat them all the time.

794
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 1: I'm addicted to them. They're delicious. So I had a

795
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 1: cake pop, which was the start of the beginning of

796
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:58,440
Speaker 1: the end, uh, and then I just snack in Ryan,

797
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 1: I went to the bodega, I got my favorite fucking

798
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:09,840
Speaker 1: Neon sour gummy, fucking Neon War of the Bright Sour Worms.

799
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 1: I love those. I got a cookie from Starbucks. I

800
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:15,320
Speaker 1: got Pringles and with all this shin, I logged it

801
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 1: all and it was like the fucking five thousand, six thousand.

802
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 1: It was crazy. This is crazy. And I was like,

803
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:24,360
Speaker 1: oh shit, I've been like in twenty twenty three and

804
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two. I ate like that every fucking day. Dude.

805
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:30,600
Speaker 1: It was insane. It was insane.

806
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:31,240
Speaker 3: Wow.

807
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:35,320
Speaker 1: So anyway, so now I'm I I have a secret.

808
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:37,319
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give some free pro I'm gonna give free

809
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:40,040
Speaker 1: promo right now. Okay, so I give. I gave free

810
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:43,399
Speaker 1: anti promo to Starbucks. I'm gonna give here's my here's

811
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:43,960
Speaker 1: my secrets.

812
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:44,200
Speaker 3: Now.

813
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:48,320
Speaker 1: One is Factor. You know I talk. Factor sponsors a podcast.

814
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:53,880
Speaker 1: Factor's been sick. Another one Chapotle. Okay, I'm meeting Chipotle

815
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 1: every single day because i can actually track the fucking

816
00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:02,960
Speaker 1: uh macros on. So I'm just eating uh that. I

817
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 1: like that, I mean right now, rocks Rocks. So every

818
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:14,200
Speaker 1: day I'm eating quest bars, I'm eating mussel milks. But

819
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 1: but here's the thing, Ryan is I'm counting calories and

820
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:21,440
Speaker 1: it's like, I don't know if it's worth it. Man,

821
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:23,600
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's worth it, because sometimes I'm

822
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:27,239
Speaker 1: just like I'm just sitting in my fucking bed or

823
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 1: I'm walking down the street and I just don't feel good.

824
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 1: I just feel sad and depressed, and I'm just like, God,

825
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:38,439
Speaker 1: nothing would make me fucking happier in the universe right

826
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:43,279
Speaker 1: now than to eat a giant chicken parmesan sub and

827
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 1: French fries and mazzarella sticks and fucking king sized Reese's

828
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,840
Speaker 1: cup fast break I have. It's just my brain. It's like,

829
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:56,279
Speaker 1: there's nothing that would make me feel better in this

830
00:45:56,640 --> 00:46:01,800
Speaker 1: universe than to do that right fucking now, and then

831
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:03,799
Speaker 1: I wake and then but every time I do that,

832
00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 1: I wake up in the morning and I'm like, fuck,

833
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 1: I just I ruined all my progress. I gained back

834
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 1: the one pound. You can literally you can eat a

835
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,880
Speaker 1: pound if you can eat three thirty five hundred calories. Like,

836
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:18,239
Speaker 1: if you lose a pound a week and we just

837
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:20,279
Speaker 1: decided to go on a crazy bender, you could get

838
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:24,400
Speaker 1: a gain a whole fucking pound back. Just raises your progress.

839
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,319
Speaker 1: It's so fucked up. I don't know when it's gonna end.

840
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 1: And uh, I'm just I'm going crazy out here because

841
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 1: because I don't know whether to to give in and

842
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 1: just be like all right, fuck it, I'm just gonna

843
00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:40,279
Speaker 1: be a fat guy. It's fine. I'm sure I can

844
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:44,360
Speaker 1: find somebody who loves me like this. I'll we'll figure

845
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 1: it out, or to be like you know what, No,

846
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 1: we're gonna lift, We're gonna do this, We're gonna get

847
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:51,759
Speaker 1: back in shape, We're gonna be But what's the point.

848
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:53,360
Speaker 1: What's the point of any of this shit? I don't know.

849
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 1: I'm feeling too existential, you know, if you haven't noticed this,

850
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:00,800
Speaker 1: If you haven't, if you haven't noticed, I'm actually asking

851
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 1: you to be the therapy. Get go for this call.

852
00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 3: Oh yeah for sure. I mean I've definitely gone through

853
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:09,160
Speaker 3: like the ringar when it comes to food.

854
00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 6: Because growing up, I didn't have a lot of food,

855
00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 6: so it was like eat and then I got a

856
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 6: job in college working in the restaurant and that turned

857
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:23,319
Speaker 6: into like a like a survival thing, like yeah, so

858
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:27,800
Speaker 6: I got I got diagnosed with the stomach issue and

859
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 6: uh diabetes also, which was major because and I track

860
00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:34,800
Speaker 6: I track all my ship too, and sometimes I'm staring

861
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 6: up the ceiling at night, like do these numbers really matter?

862
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 3: And they do, yeah, especially for me because I'm diabetic.

863
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:46,799
Speaker 3: And literally I see a wrong number and I'm like,

864
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:50,120
Speaker 3: oh shit, I have to eat, but I can't have pizza,

865
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:54,080
Speaker 3: I can't have donuts. I have to have low carb

866
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:58,280
Speaker 3: red and bage old. And I never had a sweet

867
00:47:58,280 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 3: tooth before, but now doughnuts, ice cream, I have one,

868
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:07,440
Speaker 3: and I'm I'm good, I'm set. And then there are

869
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:10,319
Speaker 3: some days where I just now all binge eat an

870
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:12,759
Speaker 3: entire bag of frido is just just because I can,

871
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 3: and then not be able to eat for the next

872
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:15,920
Speaker 3: three days.

873
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh god, it it It's so brutal, Ryan, It's

874
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:23,480
Speaker 1: so brutal.

875
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:30,360
Speaker 3: Well, that will like just looking at that number and

876
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:35,359
Speaker 3: and and and realizing how much like food is cent

877
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:40,800
Speaker 3: thrilled to like culture and like society and like economics

878
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:43,760
Speaker 3: and even just like your mental state too. And yeah,

879
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:48,319
Speaker 3: what comes from behind like eating with intention or when

880
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 3: you cook for someone and make them a nice meal

881
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:53,879
Speaker 3: and or you know, like you said, you're you're you're

882
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:58,319
Speaker 3: eating a chicken parm That's that's life right there, man,

883
00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:03,239
Speaker 3: That's like, that's pure well, it's what I think it is.

884
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:05,319
Speaker 1: It is it is. I've thought about that. Man, I'm like,

885
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 1: I really I really was thinking and like it's like

886
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:13,960
Speaker 1: it's kind of the simple things in life. I'm noticing

887
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 1: are are the best ones?

888
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:21,000
Speaker 3: Like, but it's also so destructive and like so cast Yeah,

889
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 3: it is.

890
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:23,359
Speaker 1: It's very destructive.

891
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:27,440
Speaker 3: Eat like having to be more intuitive to what I'm eating.

892
00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, Like it's like I I really have

893
00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:32,879
Speaker 3: to start thinking about it now. You know, I can't

894
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 3: eat ultra process foods anymore, even even though I want to.

895
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:39,279
Speaker 3: Or like you said, the cake cake pops are like

896
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:42,799
Speaker 3: two bites and they're selling for like five dollars, like yeah,

897
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:46,560
Speaker 3: and that man, like it's food. It's tucking food.

898
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:55,560
Speaker 1: You know what was I gonna say? It's, uh, here's

899
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:57,920
Speaker 1: what I'm doing now here. Here's here's a I mean,

900
00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:00,360
Speaker 1: I'm trying to count and like get undertooth that but

901
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:04,759
Speaker 1: it doesn't always happen every day. And here's here's where

902
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:07,839
Speaker 1: I'm at is I'm just trying to be reasonable now

903
00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 1: because I was eating Unreasonable'm like, let's just be reasonable,

904
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:13,800
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like, like if you go

905
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:16,440
Speaker 1: out to dinner and you get a big fucking burrito

906
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:18,840
Speaker 1: and you eat it. That's cool. Or like if you

907
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 1: got if you just get a chicken parmesan sub and

908
00:50:21,120 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 1: you eat it, like whatever, that's fine. But like I

909
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 1: was doing unreasonable shit, like like eating, like eating candy

910
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:34,640
Speaker 1: every day is not reasonable eating a chicken parmesan sub

911
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:36,800
Speaker 1: and then going to the bodega and getting a big

912
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:40,600
Speaker 1: bag of fritos and getting a thing of the read

913
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:43,320
Speaker 1: like you know, like you know when you're being unreasonable

914
00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:47,000
Speaker 1: versus just like eating a meal. And I've loved to

915
00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:51,080
Speaker 1: myself like, oh I can actually, I can actually live

916
00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:55,280
Speaker 1: my life in a way where I can eat pizza

917
00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:59,800
Speaker 1: and a doughnut and ice cream and whatever. But just

918
00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:02,640
Speaker 1: you know, don't be a thick about it. Don't be

919
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:07,200
Speaker 1: a fucking asshole. Don't eat you know, four donuts, don't

920
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:10,359
Speaker 1: eat candy every day, don't eat pizza every day, don't

921
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:12,879
Speaker 1: don't be a fucking asshole. But you can still live

922
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:14,840
Speaker 1: a life where you have it. And I don't know,

923
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:17,719
Speaker 1: I've been pretty good this year, but it's only been

924
00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:21,640
Speaker 1: two months. But I'm I am worried, especially like if

925
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:23,960
Speaker 1: I go to a I've been thinking about I think

926
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:26,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take a trip soon. I've been doing a

927
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:29,359
Speaker 1: lot of touring and I want to do I haven't

928
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:34,280
Speaker 1: been international for the sole purpose of just like hanging

929
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:35,879
Speaker 1: out as a get go and filming stuff. So I'm

930
00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:38,359
Speaker 1: thinking about a few places, and I'm like, fuck, man,

931
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:40,840
Speaker 1: if I end up going to like Thaighland or whatever

932
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:45,239
Speaker 1: I'm gonna, I'm gonna fucking I might get back into it.

933
00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:48,360
Speaker 1: I might because I'm gonna go to seven eleven anytime

934
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 1: I go international. I am literally I went to Hawaii

935
00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:55,359
Speaker 1: to do a show and my hostel had a seven

936
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:59,080
Speaker 1: eleven in the literally next door. And I didn't eat

937
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:04,000
Speaker 1: there every day. I ate there every two hours. I mean,

938
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:06,120
Speaker 1: it was crazy. If I go and when I go

939
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:08,640
Speaker 1: to Europe, I'm eating at the McDonald's. I mean, it's like,

940
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:11,200
Speaker 1: I don't I'm not gonna be I don't. I just

941
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:14,239
Speaker 1: I don't want to revert back to how I was

942
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:19,200
Speaker 1: when it was gaining, you know, when I gained fucking

943
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:23,520
Speaker 1: forty pounds. But it's like, I kind of had a

944
00:52:23,520 --> 00:52:25,880
Speaker 1: lot of fun doing that. I had a lot of fun.

945
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:28,920
Speaker 1: I kind of had a lot of fun eating a

946
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 1: shit ton of food. But I've also I'm looking at

947
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:33,480
Speaker 1: it with rose colored glasses because I also had a

948
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:39,320
Speaker 1: lot of shit misery of like, oh man, I'm an adult,

949
00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 1: this is not sustainable way to be as a human

950
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:48,920
Speaker 1: being at all. And I'm also I started, I feel

951
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:53,480
Speaker 1: like kind of unattractive and fat and gross, and I'm

952
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:58,759
Speaker 1: trying to you know, be not that you know, so

953
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:03,440
Speaker 1: I don't know. I I have marginal amounts of faith

954
00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:06,080
Speaker 1: in myself, which is good. That's all you need.

955
00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:10,600
Speaker 3: I think about looking back at the times where I

956
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:14,239
Speaker 3: was working in the restaurant and how destructive it was

957
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 3: at those times. And I look back to with roast

958
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:23,000
Speaker 3: colored glasses and think like wow, you know, like having

959
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:28,279
Speaker 3: that intense amount of like dopamine, like just like just

960
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:32,680
Speaker 3: based on food, it's just scary, scary typripe to walk

961
00:53:33,160 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 3: because I've seen a lot of friends go down really

962
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:40,839
Speaker 3: terrible drug roots with that too, and because they were

963
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:44,040
Speaker 3: in the kitchen industry, and luckily I stayed away from

964
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:46,520
Speaker 3: all that, and it scared the shit out of me.

965
00:53:46,600 --> 00:53:48,640
Speaker 3: But I looked back when I used to go out

966
00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:50,920
Speaker 3: and I would, you know, eat a bunch of pizza,

967
00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:54,360
Speaker 3: go home, get stones, and drink till four o'clock in

968
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:56,439
Speaker 3: the morning, and I'm like, yeah, that was fun. I'd

969
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:58,760
Speaker 3: love to do it every day. But also my body

970
00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 3: is scaring me now, so yeah, that and and I

971
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:07,480
Speaker 3: think it's it definitely was like a blessing in disguise

972
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:11,279
Speaker 3: because it was like ship, like you really have to

973
00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:13,880
Speaker 3: you know, you have to take care of yourself. And

974
00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:16,920
Speaker 3: before then I wasn't really like in tuned with my body,

975
00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:21,480
Speaker 3: and now I'm super aware of like it's like like

976
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:26,920
Speaker 3: a weird like power, like awake and work and feel

977
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:31,080
Speaker 3: people's vibes or like through their their food, if that

978
00:54:31,160 --> 00:54:34,799
Speaker 3: makes sense, Like I could tell if you put love

979
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:35,600
Speaker 3: in your food or not.

980
00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:38,919
Speaker 6: Ye Starbucks, no love, Fredo, no love.

981
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:42,799
Speaker 3: But when I eat them, I still get joy, but

982
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:45,600
Speaker 3: there's no love in it. And I think that's what.

983
00:54:47,239 --> 00:54:47,400
Speaker 4: You know.

984
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:50,120
Speaker 1: What else I hate about Starbucks is I hate how

985
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:55,239
Speaker 1: popular it is. Why is everyone everyone loves fucking Starbucks.

986
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:57,840
Speaker 1: I go to the airport at six a m. You

987
00:54:57,880 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 1: know what, It's fine. I was at a fucking airport

988
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:05,279
Speaker 1: the other day and I'm walking past all these all

989
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:09,000
Speaker 1: these places that have coffee. There's like a fucking kiosk

990
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:11,720
Speaker 1: that sells coffee. There's like two people in the line.

991
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:15,959
Speaker 1: There's the McDonald's coffee. McDonald's a little crowded, but there's

992
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:20,160
Speaker 1: this like nameless coffee shop here in a nameless coffee

993
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:24,359
Speaker 1: shop there I walked past, I see the Starbucks. The

994
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:28,040
Speaker 1: Starbucks has like a literally like a half hour long line,

995
00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:31,080
Speaker 1: and I'm like, what are all you people fucking doing?

996
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:35,040
Speaker 1: Go to the father places? What's just so? I don't get.

997
00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:37,560
Speaker 1: I don't understand what's so great about Starbucks. It's better

998
00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:41,200
Speaker 1: than the other places. It doesn't make any sense. It

999
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:42,680
Speaker 1: doesn't make any sense to me.

1000
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:47,160
Speaker 3: What's my favorite things at the airport is to watch

1001
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:51,439
Speaker 3: the people at the Starbucks because there, like you said,

1002
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,960
Speaker 3: there's always a line in a mile and a half.

1003
00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:59,560
Speaker 3: And then literally down the road like the hallway or

1004
00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:02,640
Speaker 3: whatever whatever it's called, there's like a local coffee shop

1005
00:56:02,719 --> 00:56:06,440
Speaker 3: and it's like empty, and I'm from the from the

1006
00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:09,040
Speaker 3: airports that I'm plying out of, and I'm just looking

1007
00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:12,719
Speaker 3: at them. I'm like, all it looks so sad over there,

1008
00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:15,920
Speaker 3: and I and I that cheither coffee is probably better.

1009
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:19,000
Speaker 3: Like I love to go to a little cafes of River,

1010
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:22,600
Speaker 3: but it's like, why would you wait in a line

1011
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,879
Speaker 3: like that long for some like half assed coffee when

1012
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:30,319
Speaker 3: you can literally just walk up here like get something

1013
00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:30,960
Speaker 3: pretty simple.

1014
00:56:31,040 --> 00:56:32,960
Speaker 1: It all probably gotta, I gotta, I got a hot

1015
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:34,800
Speaker 1: take for you, I got a hot take for you

1016
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:40,480
Speaker 1: to me. To me, all coffee tastes the fucking same,

1017
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:44,640
Speaker 1: like coffee, like a coffee you know when you go

1018
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:47,799
Speaker 1: you know, and they're like, oh, this coffee is is

1019
00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:51,360
Speaker 1: the beans are from Machu Picchu and blah blah blah,

1020
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:55,120
Speaker 1: and then like a fucking uh gas station coffee all

1021
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:58,640
Speaker 1: the same to me who gives a ship all exactly

1022
00:56:58,680 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 1: the same.

1023
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:02,319
Speaker 3: There's a lot of people talking out their ass like

1024
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:04,719
Speaker 3: they know and and then but then there are fun

1025
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:07,400
Speaker 3: there You're like, okay, this is like this is pretty different.

1026
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:11,719
Speaker 3: Like I had a coffee with like a mushroom apricot

1027
00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:15,359
Speaker 3: like syrup in it, so they like fermented their own

1028
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:18,439
Speaker 3: syrup and they added to coffee, and it's like why

1029
00:57:18,440 --> 00:57:22,400
Speaker 3: would you put apricots and like mushrooms in a coffee?

1030
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:25,360
Speaker 3: But like you can actually taste it like it was.

1031
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:27,600
Speaker 3: It was weird, man, but I liked it pretty good.

1032
00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:34,200
Speaker 1: That's another thing. My is my therapy session. If that's

1033
00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:35,000
Speaker 1: okay with you.

1034
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:37,680
Speaker 3: Oh that's that's okay.

1035
00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:41,000
Speaker 1: You sounded pretty disappointed.

1036
00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:45,280
Speaker 3: Actually, you know, no, no, dude, Like I think they're

1037
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:49,120
Speaker 3: you know, having a conversation about these things instead of

1038
00:57:49,280 --> 00:57:52,800
Speaker 3: like someone just like talking at you. Like I feel

1039
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:55,320
Speaker 3: like we're talking like together, you know, like an actual

1040
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:56,080
Speaker 3: conversation with time.

1041
00:57:56,520 --> 00:58:00,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I was just gonna say it's I tore.

1042
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:03,280
Speaker 1: I think I did like fifty five different fucking cities

1043
00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:07,160
Speaker 1: last year, which was like I I took it. At

1044
00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:09,320
Speaker 1: least I took at least more than like one flight

1045
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:11,360
Speaker 1: a week. Like I was on a plane multiple times

1046
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:16,240
Speaker 1: a week. And the airport there's nothing to do but

1047
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:20,480
Speaker 1: just there's this thing at the fucking airport where it's like, okay,

1048
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:22,880
Speaker 1: I'm about to be trapped to the sky for like

1049
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:27,360
Speaker 1: six hours. Let me stuff my bag with food because

1050
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:31,600
Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm gonna get. And also, oh

1051
00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:34,920
Speaker 1: my god, it's the weed, dude. That's what I realized

1052
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:37,720
Speaker 1: was was like a big crux of all my eating

1053
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:41,800
Speaker 1: thing was the weed. Because yeah, airport.

1054
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:48,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love doing things at airport because they're so

1055
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:51,640
Speaker 3: ridiculously overpriced, like seven dollars for like a bag of

1056
00:58:51,720 --> 00:58:53,959
Speaker 3: check next. Nah, I'm good.

1057
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:56,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, go ahead. No, I think I think I would

1058
00:58:56,200 --> 00:58:59,240
Speaker 1: put I would put airports on a on a I mean.

1059
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:01,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, I forgot my headphones.

1060
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 1: But like I had a thing where if I didn't

1061
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:10,320
Speaker 1: have a show that night, I would get crazy stones

1062
00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:13,680
Speaker 1: before anytime I would get on the flight. So just

1063
00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:18,760
Speaker 1: be stoned in the airport, going fucking crazy with the

1064
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:23,440
Speaker 1: fast breaks and the McDonald's and it is just crazy, man.

1065
00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:26,680
Speaker 1: And yeah it's all overpriced. Dude. You ever you ever

1066
00:59:26,720 --> 00:59:29,760
Speaker 1: try to buy beef jerky at the airport?

1067
00:59:30,080 --> 00:59:33,600
Speaker 3: Oh no, that's what that's like. What told bug.

1068
00:59:35,120 --> 00:59:38,520
Speaker 1: Twelve dollars? You think beef jerky at the airport is

1069
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:41,280
Speaker 1: twelve dollars, buddy, beef jerky at the airport is like

1070
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:42,880
Speaker 1: thirty dollars.

1071
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:48,040
Speaker 3: Okay, Because I'm getting like chips and getting loaded on

1072
00:59:48,080 --> 00:59:50,040
Speaker 3: the planes like bloody Mary's.

1073
00:59:50,880 --> 00:59:54,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm They're getting drunk on the plane. It's fun.

1074
00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:57,520
Speaker 1: I'm not a big I've kind of I'm not a

1075
00:59:57,520 --> 01:00:01,600
Speaker 1: big I've decided recently. This is another like kind of

1076
01:00:01,680 --> 01:00:07,480
Speaker 1: Calorie County thing. Is that uh, this is another kind

1077
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:13,720
Speaker 1: of Calory County thing. Is like I'll uh, oh, I'm

1078
01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:15,520
Speaker 1: not I'm not drinking as much, and I'm like, if

1079
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:17,440
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get drunk, I want it to be like

1080
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:20,120
Speaker 1: for an occasion. Like if I'm just like out at

1081
01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:23,960
Speaker 1: a bar or whatever, I'm not gonna probably get drunk.

1082
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:25,640
Speaker 1: But if it's like a good if there's a good

1083
01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:31,040
Speaker 1: reason too, I'll get drunk. But not so much anymore.

1084
01:00:31,280 --> 01:00:33,640
Speaker 1: I I like getting high at the airport because like

1085
01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:35,920
Speaker 1: there's all there's a there's all these like little things

1086
01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:38,280
Speaker 1: at the airport. Like next time, if you're listening to this,

1087
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:40,800
Speaker 1: next time you're at an airport, look at some of

1088
01:00:40,840 --> 01:00:42,720
Speaker 1: the little ship that they have going on. Like there's

1089
01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:45,960
Speaker 1: like art galleries at some airports. They just are like

1090
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:50,480
Speaker 1: here's a local Kentucky artist and when he does these

1091
01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:54,520
Speaker 1: these uh portraits of steel workers, you know, like that

1092
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:56,480
Speaker 1: kind of ship is in you know what I'm talking about, right,

1093
01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:58,720
Speaker 1: Like that kind of ship is all over the airport.

1094
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:01,200
Speaker 1: Nobody ever gives a ship looks at it because they're

1095
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:03,840
Speaker 1: on their way to you know, catch a flight. But

1096
01:01:03,960 --> 01:01:07,480
Speaker 1: like I like going to the there's like art galleries

1097
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:09,640
Speaker 1: and every air not every airport, but they always have

1098
01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:14,360
Speaker 1: like little installations or fountains or or ship like that.

1099
01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:16,600
Speaker 1: So it's fun if you have some time, you know,

1100
01:01:16,640 --> 01:01:18,200
Speaker 1: I would get high and I would I would look

1101
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:19,840
Speaker 1: at all the stuff. But you don't even have here's

1102
01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:21,760
Speaker 1: the crazy thing. You don't even have to get high

1103
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:24,120
Speaker 1: to look at that stuff. It's it's uh, it's just

1104
01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:26,240
Speaker 1: right there for you.

1105
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:29,720
Speaker 3: Yeah. In the Las Vegas Airport, they have a hallway

1106
01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:33,040
Speaker 3: that is because it's mcarens and he was a pilot,

1107
01:01:33,200 --> 01:01:37,360
Speaker 3: So they have a whole like avia aviation section and

1108
01:01:38,760 --> 01:01:43,680
Speaker 3: like a I think, like a giant, giant culture that

1109
01:01:43,720 --> 01:01:45,840
Speaker 3: you could climb all over. And I know in the

1110
01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:49,960
Speaker 3: Portland Airport they have like a like a dog petting area.

1111
01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:53,120
Speaker 3: Really that's kind of cue anxiety or whatever, but I'm

1112
01:01:53,240 --> 01:01:56,480
Speaker 3: just like, I'm gonna pet these dogs before my funny

1113
01:01:56,680 --> 01:01:58,440
Speaker 3: and I'm really stoned right now.

1114
01:01:59,280 --> 01:02:03,360
Speaker 1: Yes, brilliant, that's actually pretty cool. That sounds pretty cool.

1115
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:07,520
Speaker 3: And then there are like really like we're not really

1116
01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:11,160
Speaker 3: shitty airports but like kind of like like it's just

1117
01:02:11,160 --> 01:02:14,959
Speaker 3: an airport, like uh, this whole like city one there.

1118
01:02:15,040 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 3: That one was kind of like they had like a

1119
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:20,800
Speaker 3: kritty cream and like that in a bunch of like

1120
01:02:20,840 --> 01:02:25,520
Speaker 3: Mormon stores like like like book like what do they

1121
01:02:25,520 --> 01:02:28,479
Speaker 3: call it? Like the bookstores. I guess, I guess they'd

1122
01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:31,200
Speaker 3: just be like religous bookstores or whatever. But that was

1123
01:02:31,240 --> 01:02:34,600
Speaker 3: probably the the worst airport that I was at. And

1124
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:39,000
Speaker 3: it's not not even bad just I've been to better airports.

1125
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:40,760
Speaker 1: Man. I really got to say, I'm like sitting here

1126
01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:42,760
Speaker 1: talking to you right now, and you mentioned Krispy Kreme,

1127
01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:44,280
Speaker 1: and I thought to myself, I don't think that there's

1128
01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:47,360
Speaker 1: anything that would make me happier right now than eating

1129
01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:49,320
Speaker 1: six Krispy Kreme.

1130
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:54,000
Speaker 3: Donuts, those dumpster dives Christy creams, because they really throw

1131
01:02:54,040 --> 01:02:56,600
Speaker 3: out everything at the end of the night and they

1132
01:02:56,720 --> 01:02:59,280
Speaker 3: just they're just boxes, like untouched.

1133
01:02:59,720 --> 01:03:03,360
Speaker 1: Great, Ryan, we got to get out of here before

1134
01:03:03,400 --> 01:03:04,640
Speaker 1: one of us does something crazy.

1135
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:09,520
Speaker 3: Okay, Well it was pleasure. Thank you.

1136
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:11,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, Man, good talking to you. Is there anything else

1137
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:13,240
Speaker 1: you want to say to the people of the computer

1138
01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:13,840
Speaker 1: before we go.

1139
01:03:16,880 --> 01:03:20,360
Speaker 3: I would say to uh, love your friends, guy laughing,

1140
01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:25,520
Speaker 3: and uh, remember the food is fuel. Food is important.

1141
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:28,240
Speaker 3: Food is also just sometimes you eat it to take

1142
01:03:28,280 --> 01:03:28,560
Speaker 3: a ship.

1143
01:03:29,720 --> 01:03:31,320
Speaker 1: You do need it to take a ship. That's the

1144
01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:33,760
Speaker 1: one thing I will say about food.

1145
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:35,640
Speaker 3: And some people can't take a ship.

1146
01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:44,120
Speaker 1: So be thankful, grateful for for your ships. I like that,

1147
01:03:44,720 --> 01:03:46,800
Speaker 1: thanks for calling Ryan.

1148
01:03:47,400 --> 01:04:00,440
Speaker 2: But it goes on the line exp