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Speaker 1: Hey, ba fam, let's be real for a second, and

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Speaker 1: y'all know I keep it a book. The job market

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Speaker 1: has been brutal, now not brutal trash, especially for women

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Speaker 1: of color. Over three hundred thousand of us have disappeared

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Speaker 1: from the workforce this year alone, and not by choice,

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Speaker 1: but because of layoffs, disappearing DEI programs, and stagnant wages

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Speaker 1: that keep cutting us out of opportunity. Our unemployment rate

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Speaker 1: has jumped to over seven percent, while our pay gap

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Speaker 1: continues to widen. I know all of that sounds dire,

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Speaker 1: but here's what I want y'all to know. You do

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Speaker 1: not have to wait for the system to save you.

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Speaker 1: That's exactly why I created the Mandy money Makers Group

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Speaker 1: coaching community. It is a coaching community that is built

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Speaker 1: for us by us. Inside the community, we're not just

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Speaker 1: talking about how to negotiate or to how to get

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Speaker 1: the job that you want. It's about finding purpose in

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Speaker 1: your career. It's about finding communities and others, feeling seen,

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Speaker 1: feeling heard, and also having a sounding board and a

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Speaker 1: mirror to reflect your own magic, your own sparkle right

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Speaker 1: back to yourself. In this community, you'll get group coaching

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Speaker 1: led by me, but you also get peer to peer

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Speaker 1: accountability with proven tools and resources that can help you

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Speaker 1: do what we have always done since rise. Even when

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Speaker 1: the odds are stacked against us, despite all the challenges,

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Speaker 1: we will rise. If you're interested in joining the Mandy

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Speaker 1: money Makers community and having that support to bolster you

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Speaker 1: and help you tap back into your magic so that

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Speaker 1: you can lead your career with intention and heart and

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Speaker 1: your own intuition, trusting that again, please join us. You

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Speaker 1: can find information in the show notes of today's episodes,

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Speaker 1: or go to mandymoney dot com slash community. That's Mandy

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Speaker 1: m A n d I money dot com slash community.

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Speaker 1: I would love to see y'all there. Enrollment is open,

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Speaker 1: so please go check out mandymoney dot com slash community

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Speaker 1: today being held together by hope and prayers right now.

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Speaker 1: So if it just clunk one of my screws got loose, I.

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Speaker 2: Know mine's really weird today too.

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Speaker 3: That's I love that you have a Should I make

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Speaker 3: my mic visible in the screen so everyone else's is? No,

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Speaker 3: it's for continuity, Like I think it's the majority of.

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Speaker 1: My listeners still coming just through the audio.

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Speaker 3: But that's type A in me.

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Speaker 1: Because the YouTube audience. We're going to manifest continued growth,

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Speaker 1: slow and steady and for us to please. Yes, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we love our youtubes. It's made me thirty four dollars

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Speaker 1: and sixty four cents. We love it. Actually to the

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Speaker 1: YouTubers though, because the comments they're just so kind. The

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Speaker 1: trolls haven't really found Brown Ambition yet.

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Speaker 2: That's good.

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Speaker 1: I did find that one episode after Kamala lost, but

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Speaker 1: you know, since then, I just OURBA fan on YouTube

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Speaker 1: is just so sweet and so positive. So while while

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Speaker 1: you're listening, go follow Brown a Vission on YouTube. But

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Speaker 1: let me say hello to my beautiful Brown Table guests

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Speaker 1: for today. They are familiar faces. This is our six

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Speaker 1: we're calling it our six month by annual Mama check

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Speaker 1: in Uh with Jessica Norwood and Reina Campbell my two

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Speaker 1: podcast and Mama Sisters in Arms, Sisters in arms, Like

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Speaker 1: what we at battle, Jessica, is aren't we aren't we

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Speaker 1: We're all fighting our but we're like the This is

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Speaker 1: like the un We're just different countries fighting our waging

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Speaker 1: our own wars, and now we are assembling to debrief.

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Speaker 1: But y'all have both become pals of mine. Jessica is

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Speaker 1: the co host of the Sugar Daddy podcast, which she

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Speaker 1: co hosts with her husband Brandon Norwood. And we have

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Speaker 1: Reina Campbell, who is the beautiful, delightful host of the

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Speaker 1: Dreams and Drive podcast. Has been doing that for quite

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Speaker 1: a while.

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Speaker 3: Almost ten years. Like in next year, crazy.

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Speaker 1: I hit my tenure in September. I didn't. It kind

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Speaker 1: of felt like a fortieth birthday or like a bird

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Speaker 1: like I'm just like a little So I was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to make a big deal out of this,

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Speaker 1: but ten years, ten years is a big deal. You

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Speaker 1: should I know I should. Well, yeah, I haven't been

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Speaker 1: in like the right headspace. I've just been I've come

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Speaker 1: out of the closet Raina. I told Jessica a little

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Speaker 1: bit while we were waiting on you that I've come

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Speaker 1: out of the closet and I'm kind of I'm opening

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Speaker 1: up about my struggles with depression.

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Speaker 3: And at first I thought you were going to say

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Speaker 3: something else.

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Speaker 1: What we're gonna say.

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Speaker 2: Most when people come out of the closet.

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Speaker 1: Anymore, Okay, you can't shock anybody anymore. It's like s

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Speaker 1: right by, who needs labels? No, not that kind of closet.

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Speaker 1: The depression closet. Just I've been talking more about I've

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Speaker 1: had depression basically my whole life since I was a

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Speaker 1: little kid, since I was about the age my oldest

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Speaker 1: son is now. And I think so it's just tough.

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Speaker 1: It's been. It's been tough, and it's been like exhausting.

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Speaker 1: And so when the ten year anniversary of Brown Ambition

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Speaker 1: came up, I had plans underway to do things, and

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Speaker 1: depression won that battle. I'm not gonna lie. It just

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Speaker 1: really had me. It's had me feeling, it's had me

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Speaker 1: very isolating, like isolating myself and withdrawing, and it's almost

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Speaker 1: like a trick. It's like if I just disappear more

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Speaker 1: and more, and every time, you know, you disappear a

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Speaker 1: little bit more, you kind of For me, it was

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Speaker 1: sort of like not a test, but just like a

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Speaker 1: way of validating that idea that oh well it's fine,

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Speaker 1: like nobody needs or cares that much. If I could

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Speaker 1: just sort of disappear and there's no like big ripples,

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Speaker 1: then I was right all along. You know, I don't

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Speaker 1: need to like this isn't that big of a deal.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm just it's sad to admit that but

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Speaker 1: in a way it feels a little liberating. And I

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Speaker 1: was hoping that one of the things we could talk

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Speaker 1: about today is like, well, what I've been what's about

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Speaker 1: on my mind? A lot is being depressed as a

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Speaker 1: mom and what a weird what a weird like relationship

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Speaker 1: those two things have to each other. It's it's bizarre,

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Speaker 1: but it's also like in a lot of ways, like

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Speaker 1: my saving grace, my like life raft amidst all, this

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Speaker 1: is the fact that I'm a mom, and it like

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Speaker 1: forces me to dig myself out of those you know,

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Speaker 1: like those challenging times and oh like even talking about

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Speaker 1: it right now, I'm still like a little uncomfortable. But

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Speaker 1: I haven't come out of the depression closet with y'all before,

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Speaker 1: so it's my first time. So thanks for Wedding Space.

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Speaker 1: It better be I pay for those river Side subscription.

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Speaker 1: It better be safe.

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Speaker 3: And I think it's just so timely because I've been

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Speaker 3: thinking about like this, this theme of when you're a mom,

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Speaker 3: that always is going on, right, you can't turn it

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Speaker 3: on and off unless you want to be a bad mom.

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Speaker 3: And like as these kids, right, but for the most part,

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Speaker 3: we all are intentional moms. We all show up for

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Speaker 3: our kids all the time, but at what cost? And

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Speaker 3: how do you, you know, navigate when you're not feeling

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Speaker 3: your best, when you're not always want to be mentally there?

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Speaker 3: But you have these kids who are like, feed me,

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Speaker 3: take me to school, you know, hug me, build.

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Speaker 1: A magnetile tower with me again.

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Speaker 3: Again, right, So yeah, very timely for me as well.

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Speaker 1: Like what's y'all experience been with like have you ever

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Speaker 1: like as as mothers, I think there's a lot of

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Speaker 1: we do I think as a collective understand like postpartum

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Speaker 1: depression fairly well probably not definitely, not as well as

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Speaker 1: we could, right, but there's at least among moms, like

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Speaker 1: post prime depression. The marketing campaign's been working, girl, Like

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Speaker 1: we're aware, and doctors are aware, your primary care, your

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Speaker 1: guy knows, check it in with you. But being in

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Speaker 1: the messy middle of like you know, mothering adolescents and

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Speaker 1: they're growing up and they're so aware, and my five

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Speaker 1: year old's so plugged in and me being conscious of

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Speaker 1: like the kind of the kind of environment I was

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Speaker 1: in at his age and sort of where my depression

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Speaker 1: originated from. It was from growing up in like a

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Speaker 1: really volatile household where it wasn't like I wasn't necessarily

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Speaker 1: the target of anything super traumatic, but I was a

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Speaker 1: witness to it, and my being okay became really essential

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Speaker 1: in my mind, like I had to be okay. And

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Speaker 1: I think, even as I'm saying this out loud now,

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Speaker 1: I'm I always say, like, depression is a big liar.

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Speaker 1: It lies, and it tries to tell you that you're

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Speaker 1: not good and that you're toxic, and that things will

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Speaker 1: end up the way that like things will go in

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Speaker 1: a in a bad direction. But even as I'm kind

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Speaker 1: of describing the way that I grew up, I can

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Speaker 1: comfort myself knowing that my son. I think about my

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Speaker 1: five year old most because he's you know, so so present.

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Speaker 1: He's just like he's entered consciousness in a very intense

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Speaker 1: a way. Mm hmmm. They always always listening. I can't,

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Speaker 1: you know, but I have to, like I have to

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Speaker 1: remind myself that he's not going to experience what I experienced,

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Speaker 1: and that I do feel at least I know that

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Speaker 1: he's going to be seen by me, like I'm going

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Speaker 1: to see him, and if he starts, if he starts

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Speaker 1: exhibiting any any signs that like I was showing at

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Speaker 1: his age that would have told someone who cared to

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Speaker 1: look that I was depressed as a little kid. Like,

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Speaker 1: he'll have a mama who is so locked in, and

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Speaker 1: at least I'll know I can support him through that.

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Speaker 1: But it's it's hard to parent, you know, a kid

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Speaker 1: at an age when you know that you're like, it

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Speaker 1: makes you it's like a mirror back kind of reflecting,

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Speaker 1: making you think about your own childhood a little bit.

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Speaker 1: And I just got to I don't know how to

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Speaker 1: put a bow on that other than just to say

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Speaker 1: that's what I'm feeling. Sometimes is like, oh shit, I

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Speaker 1: don't want I don't want him to experience what I

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Speaker 1: did and to be talking on a podcast thirty years

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Speaker 1: later about how he's oppressed. I've been depressed since five.

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Speaker 3: You you know, I mean, you haven't blamed anyone, right, yeahfully.

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Speaker 1: I would never, But being like, you know that book

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Speaker 1: Grumpy Monkey, No you don't, Oh my god, Grumpy Monkey.

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Speaker 1: It's such a good book about depression without being about depression.

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Speaker 1: But it's a kid's book and it's it's the Monkey

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Speaker 1: I wish. I think that the name of the author

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Speaker 1: is Susanne Collins we read it a lot, and it's

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Speaker 1: basically a book about a monkey who feels grumpy and

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Speaker 1: everyone around him is like, but it's a beautiful day.

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Speaker 1: Don't be grumpy. But look at all these bananas. Don't

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Speaker 1: be grumpy. But come, you know, the hyaenas are like, come,

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Speaker 1: come laugh with us, and the the I almost a dinosaur, no,

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Speaker 1: like keep it to the to the aa. The gorillas like,

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Speaker 1: you know, come dance with me. And everyone's means well,

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Speaker 1: but they're trying to stop the monkey feeling grumpy. And

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Speaker 1: at the end of the book he just gets to

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Speaker 1: be grumpy and then the feeling changes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes you need to just sit in the feeling

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Speaker 2: and feel your feels.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, harder to practice.

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Speaker 3: Then, that's so true. I've been feeling like that. I

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Speaker 3: don't for me, it hasn't been depression manifesting like in

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Speaker 3: that way. But I think, you know, I think we

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Speaker 3: talked about this on our last episode. But my father

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Speaker 3: died pat last year in November, and so I feel

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Speaker 3: like I've been navigating grief but not fully grieving because

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Speaker 3: I feel like if I go into the throes of

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Speaker 3: what it means to grieve, as you know, you see

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Speaker 3: your TV and all that stuff. Right, Like I just

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Speaker 3: want to, you know, just scream and be alone, and

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Speaker 3: but I can't because I have two kids who need me.

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Speaker 3: So I feel for me, it's like, how do I

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Speaker 3: still allow myself to grieve but not lose everything around me?

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Speaker 3: And then like right now I'm dealing with the sick mother.

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Speaker 3: Like for me, I feel like I'm just constantly navigating

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Speaker 3: chaos and trying to like make sure it doesn't land

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Speaker 3: on the kids, right, like it's landing on me, it's

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Speaker 3: landing on everybody else, but like I just don't want

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Speaker 3: them to have to feel it. But it's kind of like,

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Speaker 3: you know, I was watching Chernobyl. This is gonna be

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Speaker 3: so so uh this is this is Have you guys

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Speaker 3: seen have you seen that the HBO series?

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but I know what happened.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't sound happy in rainbows, but basically.

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Speaker 3: There's a character, Yeah, there's a character who like I

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Speaker 3: guess she her fetus absorbed all the radiation she was pregnant, right,

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Speaker 3: So the fetus absorbed the radiation and it didn't affect

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Speaker 3: the mother as much as it affected her her. So

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Speaker 3: I kind of feel like I'm like absorbing everything around

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Speaker 3: the kids so that they don't feel it, but at

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Speaker 3: what cost. And that's really been difficult for me to navigate.

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Speaker 3: Like I just feel sad sometimes, right, and I just

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Speaker 3: don't know what to do with it. But I know

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Speaker 3: that I still have to try to make moments of

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Speaker 3: joy for my kids. Although I'm feeling sad and sometimes

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Speaker 3: it doesn't feel fair, but at the same time, it's

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Speaker 3: not their fault, you know. It's like this weird feeling

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Speaker 3: of like it has nothing to do with them, but like,

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Speaker 3: I just want to be sad, but it's just weird.

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Speaker 2: Carry the extra weight of not being able to just

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Speaker 2: be sad because you're trying to shield them from her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I mean I can just be sad, but

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Speaker 3: then they'll be like Mommy, what's wrong, And I'll be

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Speaker 3: like I miss Grandpa. Then my oldest son, who remembers him,

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Speaker 3: will be like I miss Grandpa too, and then he

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Speaker 3: just goes down, you know, rabbit hole.

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Speaker 2: Wait, but in our last session, Raina, we talked about

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Speaker 2: you finding a therapist. Oh did you do that?

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Speaker 3: I did? I did? I did? Okay, then she got

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Speaker 3: a nine to five and she's like, I can't do therapy.

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Speaker 3: I'm looking for any one. Oh, I'm looking for anyone.

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Speaker 3: I guess it wasn't working out for her. You know,

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Speaker 3: she was doing it solo and she someone approached her

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Speaker 3: to work corporate or do something like I think with children,

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Speaker 3: or she works as in the educational system now. So

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Speaker 3: I'm like, girl, we were just vibing. You just went

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Speaker 3: out and left me.

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Speaker 1: No, it's hard being a therapist.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I could not. Oh my gosh, taking one.

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Speaker 1: My therapist also got a nine to five. I had

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Speaker 1: seen her for five years. She saw me through my

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Speaker 1: whole first pregnancy, my first four years of my son's life.

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Speaker 1: And then she yeah, it was too. It was really

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Speaker 1: tough on her. So she she like works at a

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Speaker 1: hospital now for in the ob like with new moms

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Speaker 1: and stuff.

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Speaker 3: Well at least it's like match to what she was

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Speaker 3: able to help you with. But yeah, it did help.

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Speaker 3: Although I mean I I was still like maybe we

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Speaker 3: did like maybe five sessions, and I was kind of like,

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Speaker 3: what's the point of this? But I was starting to

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Speaker 3: see the point of it, and she was like starting

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Speaker 3: to help me, like just unpack some things or keep

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Speaker 3: promises to myself stuff like that. Like she's like, you

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Speaker 3: know what, get your daily get your monthly manicure, right,

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Speaker 3: even if you go during lunch at work, go out,

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Speaker 3: get your manicure, get your pedicure, like little stuff like that.

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Speaker 3: That was helping me. But now she's going, I have

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Speaker 3: to find a new one.

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Speaker 2: Maybe she can refer you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just when you start to tell they start

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Speaker 1: to know all the characters in the plot, you know,

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Speaker 1: they remember names, and I gotta tell.

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Speaker 3: You all the details. And she got it because she

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Speaker 3: was also Jamaican American, which I think for me was

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Speaker 3: a very important cultural, you know, intersection to have, like

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Speaker 3: someone who really understood like the nuances of just being

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Speaker 3: a Jamaican American and dealing with parents and dealing you know,

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Speaker 3: all that stuff. But yeah, I need to find another

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Speaker 3: one that's on me. But I did. I did take

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Speaker 3: that takeaway, take it that serious, proud of you.

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Speaker 2: That's really good. I wonder, Mandy, I don't have the

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Speaker 2: experience of depression, And thank you for sharing your experience.

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Speaker 2: And you know, I think we're here for you if

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Speaker 2: you need us and when it feels right, you know,

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Speaker 2: please let us know how we can support you. But

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Speaker 2: I have like some chronic health issues. They mostly affect

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Speaker 2: my back, and then you know, if your back ain't right,

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Speaker 2: then you're not sleeping right. And then it's just as

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Speaker 2: this big spiral of like, well, you didn't sleep, and

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Speaker 2: then you have to wake up and get the kids

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Speaker 2: ready for school, and then you know, I'm still corporate

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Speaker 2: nine to five, so then you're pushing through. And so

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Speaker 2: I have this feeling a lot where I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 2: just surviving every day. I'm just like, I'm not thriving.

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Speaker 2: I'm just making it barely to eight o'clock the next night,

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Speaker 2: you know, where I can put the kids down and

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Speaker 2: then maybe put myself down. But I am thankful because

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Speaker 2: I in those hearts moments, or when I'm in a

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Speaker 2: flare up, or i have, you know, some really tough

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Speaker 2: times where I'm just exhausted in my body aches, I

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Speaker 2: can lean on Brandon and I can tell him, hey,

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Speaker 2: I you know, I need you to go ninety five

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Speaker 2: today because I've barely got five percent in me. And

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Speaker 2: so he's a wonderful partner in that way, and it

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Speaker 2: always makes me really grateful that I have him as

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Speaker 2: a support to, you know, do all the things that

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Speaker 2: need to be done with the kids, Like he's completely

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Speaker 2: fully capable of, you know, doing Aston's hair or taking

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Speaker 2: her to her therapy sessions or you know, whatever it

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Speaker 2: might be. And it at the same time makes me

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Speaker 2: like feel so so sad when I think about the

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Speaker 2: women who don't have the support, Because even if you're

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Speaker 2: completely healthy, even if you're not battling any kind of

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Speaker 2: mental health struggles, being a mom is so hard, right,

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Speaker 2: Like thinking about just the schedules. Oh, now we're coming

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Speaker 2: into fall. We have to change all the clothing sizes,

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Speaker 2: nothing fits. They have no warm clothes. What about you know,

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Speaker 2: volunteering at school, and now there's the book fair and

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Speaker 2: I've got to put money on their book fair account.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's just like never ending. So even if

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Speaker 2: you're thriving otherwise, like the tasks of motherhood can feel

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Speaker 2: so overwhelming that I don't know how people do it

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Speaker 2: without a partner and I'm just so grateful for mine.

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Speaker 2: And I just want to like give a big hug

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Speaker 2: to all the moms who are doing it alone because

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Speaker 2: I don't, I literally don't know how you're doing it.

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Speaker 2: So shout out to the single moms.

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Speaker 1: Or with partners who are not.

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Speaker 2: Oh, don't even get me started where you're like a

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Speaker 2: married single mom.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's even worse. I feel like too, rite

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Speaker 3: like imagine, I hear, I hear. I know this one,

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Speaker 3: this one person who was purposely single momming. I think

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Speaker 3: she went through fertility. So she like, you got a

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Speaker 3: sprim dover. She said, like her and her group of

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Speaker 3: friends are like a group of single moms who all

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Speaker 3: went fertility and they did this intentional single mothering, which

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Speaker 3: I kind of wonder of the effects later down the line.

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Speaker 3: But she was just like, it seemed more stressful to

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Speaker 3: have a man who wasn't going to be there than

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Speaker 3: to have one, you know, then to yeah, that's a

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Speaker 3: whole nother story, but yeah, it is only if.

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Speaker 2: You're expecting I don't need a whole another adult.

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Speaker 1: In my house.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if you're not contributing, okay.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think that you expect. The pain

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Speaker 1: of that is like you have an expectation for what

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Speaker 1: it will be like and then and and what partnership

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Speaker 1: looks like, and then if it's not living up to

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Speaker 1: that expectation or what you need, and then you're like,

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Speaker 1: but I have this baby now, and you know, it's

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Speaker 1: like such an impossible situation because there's there's not really

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Speaker 1: like a right or wrong move to make at that point.

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Speaker 1: Either you know, your partner does what it takes to

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Speaker 1: step up to offer that support, which can take it

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Speaker 1: the long time to work on that, or you know,

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Speaker 1: you make a move. And you know my former financial planner,

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Speaker 1: I got a newsletter from her for the first time

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Speaker 1: and I don't know how long, and it was it

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Speaker 1: really sent me to my knees, like my jaw was

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Speaker 1: on the on the floor because she revealed that like

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Speaker 1: for the past five years she's been like really depressed

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Speaker 1: and was having this whole crisis of I don't know,

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Speaker 1: like confidence and just like her her life was really

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Speaker 1: out of alignment with what she really wanted, and she

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Speaker 1: she stopped her she ended her financial planning practice, she

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Speaker 1: divorced her husband, and her whole life had totally changed.

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Speaker 1: And that is what it can look like sometimes. But

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Speaker 1: that journey to get to that decision when you have kids,

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Speaker 1: it's really hard. And I think about my own mother.

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Speaker 1: My mom divorced when I was ten from my dad.

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Speaker 1: She really was a single parent in a married relationship.

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Speaker 1: And I'm and she got rid of him. I'm still

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Speaker 1: stuck with him and his big head and his stubborn ways,

390
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Speaker 1: not wanting to listen to what does doctors say. But

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Speaker 1: you know, I always thought I always thought she was

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Speaker 1: so brave to do that, and I like worshiped her

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Speaker 1: for it. But I think when you're in that you

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Speaker 1: kind of you worry about what the kids are going

395
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Speaker 1: to think, and you know, should we keep it together

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Speaker 1: for them?

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Speaker 2: But that.

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Speaker 1: There's just no easy right answer. But I just yeah,

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Speaker 1: to your point, Jessica, at my heart is just aching

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Speaker 1: for any woman, whether you're doing it alone or you're

401
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Speaker 1: together and alone at the same time and trying to

402
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Speaker 1: be a mom, It is about just day to day survival,

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Speaker 1: one day at a time.

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Speaker 3: The idea, yeah, yeah, that idea of survival is something

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Speaker 3: that I think it's something that a lot of moms

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Speaker 3: aren't talking about enough, is like, what are the ways

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Speaker 3: that you're feeling like you're just surviving? Right? I was

408
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Speaker 3: recently at there's this conference in New York last week

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Speaker 3: called Black Week, and it's like a week of like

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Speaker 3: different panels and stuff across different venues, and I was

411
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Speaker 3: on one with doctor Joey Therapy for Black Girls. Well

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Speaker 3: not on one, I was listening to one with doctor

413
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Speaker 3: Joy Therapy for Black Girls and Tiana Madison. She's a

414
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Speaker 3: former like track and field athlete, And I asked the

415
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Speaker 3: question like I had saw this quote on Instagram. I

416
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Speaker 3: don't know how real the quote was, but it was like,

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Speaker 3: you know, working moms have the highest cortisol rate of

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Speaker 3: all like people they say, like working moms like equal

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Speaker 3: to three full time jobs or whatever. So I was

420
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Speaker 3: just talking to them about like the ways at which

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Speaker 3: like we're ways that we can keep well across the board.

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Speaker 3: But I really thought about it though, guys, and I

423
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Speaker 3: feel like the idea of just admitting that you're struggling

424
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Speaker 3: is something that's so hard, especially for us moms. Of

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Speaker 3: just like if I show up in the workplace and

426
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Speaker 3: say like I'm struggl They're gonna be like, well, no

427
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Speaker 3: one told you to have kids, And I'm like, but

428
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Speaker 3: no one told me to. You know, It's this whole

429
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Speaker 3: there's this never ending cycle of you want us to

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Speaker 3: speak up. When we speak up, we're not taking seriously.

431
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 3: So is it better to just not say anything and

432
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,120
Speaker 3: just persevere? And I think a lot of us are

433
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 3: just keeping it in, But at what's sake? Right, and

434
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,640
Speaker 3: the biggest thing I'm dealing with guys, And I'll say

435
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 3: it because I think it's public knowledge, Like my nine

436
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,560
Speaker 3: to five company is now moving five days in office?

437
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 2: No, absolutely not unsubscribed.

438
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 1: In January and layoffs.

439
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:43,640
Speaker 2: Well they do exactly.

440
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,400
Speaker 3: I won't talk about there's been like stuff that's been

441
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 3: happening in the background. But the thing that a lot

442
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 3: of the moms, we've all been whispering to each other,

443
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:54,639
Speaker 3: were like the ones who haven't, you know, taken the

444
00:24:54,680 --> 00:25:00,040
Speaker 3: severance package. We're all like, what the right? But no

445
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 3: and saying anything too loud because a we all still

446
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 3: need our jobs, right and who do we really like?

447
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:10,119
Speaker 3: Who really has our back? And when you feel like

448
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,120
Speaker 3: there's no one who has your back, you just kind

449
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:14,879
Speaker 3: of keep it in. And I'm really worried about a

450
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:18,320
Speaker 3: lot of the moms come January, who are going to

451
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,680
Speaker 3: now like it's been five years, since almost six years

452
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 3: since COVID, Why are companies now going backwards?

453
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 2: Especially if the profit Like what do the numbers say?

454
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:35,120
Speaker 2: If the numbers say we're okay, we're doing well, we're

455
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:39,879
Speaker 2: maintaining or doing better than before, why Because when you

456
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 2: say five days back in office, I hear minimum ten

457
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,680
Speaker 2: hours of commute time. That's what I hear. I hear

458
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 2: and I physically see, like sitting in traffic, wasting time.

459
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 1: Paying twenty bucks an hour for childcare.

460
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 2: Oh, that makes me so angry that guys is probably

461
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 2: I am.

462
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,920
Speaker 3: I'm after here and like my kids have never known

463
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:08,200
Speaker 3: a world. Also me as a mother, I've always been

464
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,919
Speaker 3: a mother where first it was fully remote, then it

465
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,520
Speaker 3: was hybrid. Two days, okay, three days pushing it, but

466
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,639
Speaker 3: I can do it. But the five days is just

467
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 3: something now where I'm just like, is it fair to them?

468
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 3: Like I'm really nervous for how they're going to feel

469
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 3: because they've only known me as a mother, like you know,

470
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 3: showing up for them after school and having that flexibility.

471
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 3: But it's also tough to kind of think about like

472
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,919
Speaker 3: a finding something new like that's another stress, right or

473
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 3: going into my own thing full time, that's another stress.

474
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:41,640
Speaker 3: It's really tough. And these are the things that work constantly.

475
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 2: Did you start did you start remote or did you

476
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,119
Speaker 2: started remote and then they started trickling it in.

477
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I started remote because I was hired during the pandemic,

478
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 3: so everybody was remote, and then they everyone returned to

479
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:59,879
Speaker 3: office and then now everybody's the mandate of everybody's here.

480
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:02,160
Speaker 1: Know why it's happening because too many dicks are still

481
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 1: running shit. Men are still the top of the totem

482
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: pole and the top of the pyramid at these places,

483
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 1: and as long as men are in power, these policies

484
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:15,120
Speaker 1: will continue. Like they're chuckling and they're like, yeah, it's

485
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:17,399
Speaker 1: great to have us back in the office. This is great.

486
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 1: We can all handle it. I mean, there's just.

487
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,719
Speaker 2: Yeah because their wives are at home, cooking, cleaning, folding

488
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:26,240
Speaker 2: all the laundry, doing all the grocery shopping.

489
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 1: And they can afford or they can afford the help,

490
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:31,440
Speaker 1: you know, to make it happen. If you're going to

491
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 1: ask people, like if you're going to ask your workers

492
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:37,399
Speaker 1: to come in five days a week, then and this

493
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 1: is just like I don't think I can think of

494
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:41,359
Speaker 1: a company who does this, but it has to be

495
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 1: like a family first company. Provide benefits and resources so

496
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 1: that your people.

497
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 3: Have a daycare in office, so I can bring my

498
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 3: two year old.

499
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 1: You know, yes, you have a daycare, have an aftercare program,

500
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,720
Speaker 1: bust the kids in from wherever the you know, wherever

501
00:27:55,720 --> 00:28:00,320
Speaker 1: they get in from school, provide a meal, dinner time time,

502
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 1: stories of entertainment, give a bounce house.

503
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:04,879
Speaker 2: And preferably a meal I can take home to my

504
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 2: family too. Let's be serious, like, oh, is there a

505
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 2: grabbing go station?

506
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 3: Thank you?

507
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:13,920
Speaker 2: Grab this on my way my family. I know we're

508
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 2: giving you a free Hello fresh or that I don't

509
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 2: I still cooking exactly.

510
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:24,439
Speaker 3: But I've been grappling with and I don't know if

511
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 3: you guys feel like this. Do you ever feel like

512
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:32,679
Speaker 3: you shouldn't complain in this sense of like you have

513
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,200
Speaker 3: it good and other people have it worse. Like there

514
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 3: are people who have like Joss, where they have to

515
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 3: go in Like I mean, let's say you're a nurse,

516
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 3: like you have to work in the office, unless you're

517
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 3: like a virtual nurse whatever that is, right, Like, there

518
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 3: are some career paths that you have to be in

519
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 3: the office. And I'm like, oh, there are women who

520
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:51,719
Speaker 3: don't have a choice. So is me complaining about this?

521
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 3: Like am I just you know? But I have to

522
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 3: tell myself no, Like this is not the career path

523
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 3: that you choose. Chose because you want flexibility or you

524
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 3: know that you don't want to be a mom that

525
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 3: shows up only for an hour before bedtime and that's okay.

526
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:09,320
Speaker 3: So I've been having to like affirm to myself that

527
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 3: your desires are validated or valid you deserve to be

528
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 3: able to be the mom that you want to be

529
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 3: and how you want it at that to look. And

530
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 3: I've had to kind of like tell myself that because

531
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 3: there's been this voice in my head like, Ranna, just

532
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 3: do whatever you gotta do. But at the same time,

533
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 3: I'm like, but why I don't want to have to

534
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 3: just say yes.

535
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 1: To say yes, yes, I think you answered your own question.

536
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 3: But now is the actual figuring it out. It's the

537
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 3: figuring out that, my god, that's just another thing to

538
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 3: do and finding the energy or on top of grieving,

539
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 3: or on top of just trying to make sure my

540
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 3: five year old doesn't kill my two year old, and

541
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 3: two year old doesn't kill a five year old, you

542
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 3: know what I mean. It's just a lot. It's just

543
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:57,440
Speaker 3: a lot. How did people do this in the past?

544
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 1: They had more kids, lived in the village school, you know,

545
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 1: and a little.

546
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was different, the community was different. I think

547
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 3: we talked about this the first time.

548
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 1: We did talk about community last time, and like and

549
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:12,520
Speaker 1: I and I have done my best. I think I have.

550
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 1: I have my close mom friends and was as great

551
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 1: as like it is to to call y'all friends as well.

552
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 1: We're not able to help each other really.

553
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, not physically?

554
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, what can we do for each other other than

555
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 1: you know?

556
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 3: And is the most important part of.

557
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 1: It exactly can you hold a baby? Can you can

558
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 1: you pick up? Like if you had a flare up

559
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 1: and I was in your neighborhood, I'd bring you soup

560
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 1: like I do my friends and like you do you

561
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 1: do you need those like physical, closely close friendships. But

562
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:46,760
Speaker 1: at the same time, I'm what I'm realizing is that

563
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:51,080
Speaker 1: like having a baby during the pandemic during that cold

564
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:55,239
Speaker 1: winter of twenty twenty, and also like getting slammed with

565
00:30:55,440 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 1: postparum depression and like a bunch of challenges boom, I

566
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:06,120
Speaker 1: haven't healed, like I haven't really dealt with. The doctor Judith,

567
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 1: who wrote the book High Functioning Depression, calls it lower

568
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 1: t trauma, lowercase TA trauma. I haven't really fully healed

569
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 1: from that lowercase tea trauma. And I think that feeling

570
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 1: of being alone and on my own and no one

571
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 1: really there because at the time that I was so

572
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 1: deeply isolated. I'm sure y'all can relate. I don't want

573
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 1: to feel that way anymore, and I'm feeling that way,

574
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,760
Speaker 1: but I don't. It's actually like artificial. It's like depression

575
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 1: is a liar, and I've been thinking of ways to

576
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 1: fix that. Even though I have like my neighbors and

577
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:42,320
Speaker 1: I have friends who are mothers, and there's nothing like

578
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 1: I have a living mother. I'm so blessed to say that.

579
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 1: And I have a sister who adores my kids and

580
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:51,120
Speaker 1: a brother who adores my kids and me, and none

581
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 1: of us lives in the same place. And I did

582
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 1: make a I made a personal decision that hasn't become

583
00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:00,480
Speaker 1: reality yet because it's hard to do. But I'm ready

584
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 1: to move close to my mom again. And my mom

585
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:08,680
Speaker 1: and my sister are both moving back to Georgia. They've

586
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:12,120
Speaker 1: been in the Midwest. And my brother already is in

587
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 1: Georgia and are from Georgia. Yeah, I'm from Georgia. I've

588
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 1: lived in New York since twenty ten.

589
00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 2: I'm hearing family compound.

590
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 1: Yes, family comn family.

591
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 2: The way go past the garden and go to Grandma's house.

592
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 1: You know, Like, so that's what we're trying to do.

593
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 1: It's been it's not easy because my husband has work here,

594
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 1: but like it's becoming like an emergency for me, Like

595
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 1: I actually don't want this life anymore. Like I don't

596
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 1: like to your point about surviving or thriving. I'm just

597
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 1: surviving every day now, But I think I could be

598
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 1: thriving if I was closer to like that and just

599
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 1: taking full advantage of, like I said, having a living mother,

600
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 1: and you know these siblings who want to help but

601
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 1: they can't because are not here.

602
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 3: The mother needs mothering. Who mother is the mother?

603
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:11,400
Speaker 1: Hey ba, fam, We got to take a quick break,

604
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 1: pay some bills, and we'll be right back.

605
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 2: We have both moms here in town. One is like

606
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 2: ten minutes up the road and my mom's about thirty

607
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,520
Speaker 2: minutes away. And even just being able to drop the

608
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 2: kids off on a Saturday or Sunday for a few

609
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:31,880
Speaker 2: hours is a game changer. And most of the time

610
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 2: Brandon and I we want to be better about this.

611
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, we could do a lunch date. Like

612
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,239
Speaker 2: it doesn't always have to be a dinner date, you know,

613
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 2: Like I was just talking to it that I.

614
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 1: Was like, we could go to we can go to

615
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 1: Chipotle and leave.

616
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to go grocery shopping together and then

617
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 2: go to Chipotle, like, or get a capable like, it

618
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 2: doesn't have to be something. Who stand drive? You know,

619
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 2: you are getting an iced coffee and driving around like glamorous,

620
00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 2: huge out in the back seat. Neighborhoods, girl, and nobody

621
00:33:58,320 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 2: get time for that. We want to look at mansions,

622
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 2: you know. But it makes a difference. I mean, most

623
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,720
Speaker 2: of the time we are just doing errands. Right, he's

624
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 2: editing the podcast, I'm doing laundry, we're doing yard work.

625
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:09,360
Speaker 3: Like.

626
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:13,320
Speaker 2: We utilize the time to do things that are easier

627
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:16,359
Speaker 2: to do when the kids aren't around. But even just

628
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:20,960
Speaker 2: not having somebody say Mama, Mama, Mama, mama every two

629
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:27,399
Speaker 2: point five seconds for a couple of hours, it's again, kids,

630
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 2: Jessica again, six and seven just turned six and then

631
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:32,480
Speaker 2: I guess seven and a half technically, yeah.

632
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:33,800
Speaker 1: Oh bam with the six and seven.

633
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 2: I know, well we had two under two in the

634
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:40,960
Speaker 2: pandemic and talk about surviving, not thriving, and still not

635
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 2: taking care of pastor. I'm still together, girl, I know,

636
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 2: it's amazing. I did throw a cheerio him once. That's

637
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 2: only in twelve years that I've ever done anything like that.

638
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:57,319
Speaker 2: And yeah, I just I lost it and I threw

639
00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 2: a cereal box at him and he still loves me.

640
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:00,799
Speaker 2: So here we are.

641
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:05,839
Speaker 1: My our casualty. Yours was a cheerio box. We had

642
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:09,319
Speaker 1: a casualty or Google our Google home became a casualty.

643
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:10,879
Speaker 2: You can do it across the room.

644
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:14,400
Speaker 1: No, I didn't. Husband cracked. He cracked.

645
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,240
Speaker 2: We're going to put that time into its own special

646
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,360
Speaker 2: box and it's just going to live there and we

647
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 2: don't need to revisit it because.

648
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,480
Speaker 1: Times rio is like remember the Google Home. I'm Michael about.

649
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,440
Speaker 3: What are some things that you guys, I know, despite

650
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:38,840
Speaker 3: you know, navigating this depression closet, Mandy, Jessica, all of

651
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 3: us just trying to figure it out, Like, what are

652
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 3: some things that you've been able to find joy in

653
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:49,360
Speaker 3: despite even if their little pockets of joy, pockets of reprieve,

654
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,640
Speaker 3: things that have reminded you about who you are.

655
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,440
Speaker 1: I was literally thinking about this on the way to

656
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 1: daycare drop off this morning, was how can I incorporate

657
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,920
Speaker 1: some joy because one of the lies that depression tells

658
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:07,360
Speaker 1: me is that I'm not allowed to like take to

659
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:10,719
Speaker 1: do something fun or frivolous, while there's so much to

660
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:12,839
Speaker 1: do and while I have so much to fix in

661
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:16,840
Speaker 1: myself that I can't do those things until I'm like

662
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:21,799
Speaker 1: in a better place. And so this morning I was

663
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 1: actively thinking against that, and I was like, what is

664
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 1: something I can do that would spark a little bit

665
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:31,240
Speaker 1: of joy that doesn't involve the crutch of my kids,

666
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,120
Speaker 1: Because the problem with my children is there's such little

667
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:39,360
Speaker 1: joy nuggets that if I'm around them and like we

668
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:41,960
Speaker 1: can go to Legoland, I can take them to a

669
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 1: trampoline park, I can go to the library, like I

670
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,760
Speaker 1: can find little activities that can but we're they're having

671
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,640
Speaker 1: We're there joyful, and then that makes me feel joyful.

672
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:52,399
Speaker 1: Does that make sense?

673
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 2: But are you finding true joy or are you just

674
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,319
Speaker 2: finding joy through them? Because again, you're a great mom.

675
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 1: No, that's what I'm saying. So that's I've been.

676
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:02,279
Speaker 2: It's not your true joy.

677
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:05,319
Speaker 1: Not my true joy. And when I'm like really, I'm

678
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 1: in like a really heightened depressive state, and my husband

679
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 1: will take the kids off somewhere to give me some space,

680
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 1: then I'm like, wait, I need my oxygen back, like

681
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:17,959
Speaker 1: I need I don't like it, so I don't really

682
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:24,880
Speaker 1: have a good answer. I think where I think, I

683
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:26,280
Speaker 1: don't know what brings joy.

684
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 2: You definitely need to find that. But I also it

685
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:37,880
Speaker 2: makes me think, like my mom definitely undiagnosed, untreated, I

686
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 2: would say, anxiety and depression. And so my run now

687
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 2: that my parents they've been divorced, but my parents divorced

688
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 2: after thirty five years of marriage, and like my brother

689
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:50,760
Speaker 2: and myself and now the grandkids are her entire world.

690
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:54,040
Speaker 2: And that's a pressure too that I think is very

691
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 2: dangerous because she finds her joy in us, which is

692
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,520
Speaker 2: and he doesn't live year but I do. So then

693
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 2: who gets the guilt and the smothering the pressure of life?

694
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:08,720
Speaker 1: I don't want. I'm so aware of that.

695
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I'm thinking of like your future life when

696
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:15,759
Speaker 2: the boys are you know, late high school, early college,

697
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 2: heaven forbid they get married. Then it's like, if that's

698
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:19,880
Speaker 2: your oxygen.

699
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:21,319
Speaker 1: I am not going to be that mom, hail to

700
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:21,760
Speaker 1: the now.

701
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,919
Speaker 2: Well, but you probably have to work on that now.

702
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 1: Right, there's things, you know, there's this expression there's this

703
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 1: symptom of depression, or maybe it's not a symptom of depression,

704
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:36,279
Speaker 1: but it often comes in line with depression called on

705
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:41,719
Speaker 1: Hondonia and Hondonia, which is the the challenge of like,

706
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,400
Speaker 1: you don't feel things, like you don't feel the joy

707
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:47,719
Speaker 1: or the positivity. Things that once brought you joy, You're

708
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 1: not deriving pleasure from them. So I found so much

709
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:53,560
Speaker 1: joy and comfort in gardening this summer.

710
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:58,960
Speaker 3: And I saw that on social media US she can

711
00:38:59,000 --> 00:38:59,640
Speaker 3: hit tomatoes.

712
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 2: Wasn't there a watermelon? Am I making that up?

713
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 1: One singular watermelon? Yes? And cute and it tastes great.

714
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 1: But we grew it there. The kids ate it in solidarity.

715
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,160
Speaker 1: I did find a lot of joy from gardening, but

716
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 1: then that the depression, I just it started to fade.

717
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:25,480
Speaker 1: I don't feel it quite as much. And cooking and baking,

718
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:30,280
Speaker 1: you know, I haven't been cooking at all. And one thing,

719
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,719
Speaker 1: you know that there is that expression I've been thinking

720
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 1: about too, which is to feel different, you have to

721
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:38,360
Speaker 1: act different. Sometimes the action is first and then the

722
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:41,759
Speaker 1: feelings follow. And one thing I did I went to

723
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:45,799
Speaker 1: the grocery store this weekend and I got I made.

724
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:49,719
Speaker 1: I decided to do like a big Sunday roast like

725
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 1: the brit and the Brits do it. And I spent

726
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:57,120
Speaker 1: like three hours in the kitchen cooking and making a

727
00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 1: meal and just for the pl and I was feeling.

728
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 1: I felt, I felt a little something, and.

729
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 2: Keep doing it gas or something where you can like

730
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,200
Speaker 2: learn a new skill or be in community with other

731
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:15,239
Speaker 2: people who were like my class. Yeah, I just got

732
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:18,719
Speaker 2: a present for a friend of mine. Again, like you know,

733
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 2: we have what we need, and so I was like,

734
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 2: let's do an experience. And so I got us a

735
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:25,799
Speaker 2: pasta making class. And so we're going to do like

736
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 2: the Italian feast pasta making with like ravioli and Alfredo's

737
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 2: and all the sauces and then you like actually sit

738
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 2: and eat what you've cooked. And it's a little local,

739
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:40,839
Speaker 2: veteran woman owned business in Durham, North Carolina. And I'm

740
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,239
Speaker 2: so excited because I think it'll be so fun and

741
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:45,440
Speaker 2: we're learning a skill that, you know, if we wanted

742
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 2: to make pasta at home later hopefully we'll learn it

743
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 2: well enough to do that. But maybe something like that.

744
00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 2: Doing that with a friend, Yes, with two friends. One

745
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 2: it was one birthday present and then we it's kind

746
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,200
Speaker 2: of our little foodie group. So it's going to be

747
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:00,640
Speaker 2: the three of us next month.

748
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 1: Doing an activity with friends is something that I have

749
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 1: withdrawn from, like in the depression, like I pulled back,

750
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:12,480
Speaker 1: but I actually crave it, Like I haven't had like

751
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 1: a dinner or drinks with girlfriends in ages.

752
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:20,560
Speaker 3: So combine it. Maybe you can do if you want

753
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:23,520
Speaker 3: to experience the joy of cooking, could you invite someone

754
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:26,759
Speaker 3: over for dinner, Like, Hey, next Sunday, I'm going to

755
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:28,440
Speaker 3: make something and let's eat it and then tell your

756
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 3: husband to take the kids.

757
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, like a little dinner club like tiny, Like doesn't

758
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:35,360
Speaker 2: need to be this big thing because then it becomes exhausting.

759
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:38,919
Speaker 1: It's already exhausting just thinking about it. But I think

760
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,239
Speaker 1: going out to dinner and just having a nice I

761
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:43,560
Speaker 1: would like to just have a really nice cocktail with

762
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 1: a friend with no kids around. It's hard to if it's.

763
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 3: Hard for scheduling, could you do it during the day.

764
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 3: I'm like, maybe a lunch date with a friend if

765
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,840
Speaker 3: that's easier, because I know we're like scheduling at night.

766
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:58,359
Speaker 2: Especially midweek. I know because these two friends that I'm

767
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,279
Speaker 2: doing the cooking class with they are married but don't

768
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:04,800
Speaker 2: have kids by choice, and the rule is you always

769
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:07,000
Speaker 2: have to invite me. But most of the time I'm

770
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 2: not going to be able to come. So even last

771
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 2: night the text came through of like, hey, we're meeting

772
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 2: you know here at this time, let us know if

773
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:15,479
Speaker 2: you can make it. And it's just it's so hard

774
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 2: because then you have the guilt of like, uh, the

775
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,400
Speaker 2: midweek is chaos and we just came back from to

776
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 2: school from track out and then to leave the kids

777
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:26,600
Speaker 2: with you know, it's just I don't know, but yeah,

778
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 2: it make it happen.

779
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 1: I had some weird combination of like, I have friends

780
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:33,320
Speaker 1: who don't have kids, but they're they're in the city,

781
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:36,239
Speaker 1: and so that's the challenge. But also I'm also I'm

782
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:39,759
Speaker 1: like one of the only work from home moms in

783
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 1: my mom group. They're all busy and they work and

784
00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:47,720
Speaker 1: they commute, and so sometimes I'm just like I would

785
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 1: love to do like a midday thing, but it's not

786
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 1: a lot of yeah, people have, but there can be time.

787
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 1: My depression was really bad this weekend, and my my

788
00:42:57,480 --> 00:43:01,200
Speaker 1: dear friends, she has a big important job, she has

789
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:03,400
Speaker 1: to go into the city. So there's whenever we get together,

790
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 1: it's like rare. It's like once a month, which is

791
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:06,400
Speaker 1: actually decent.

792
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 2: That's pretty good. Actually, I would.

793
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:12,719
Speaker 1: Say yeah, honestly, and she we really both put in

794
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 1: the effort and I I canceled plan. She had invited

795
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:19,520
Speaker 1: me over, and I just I made it. I said

796
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 1: I was sick, but it's not that bad all the time.

797
00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:26,120
Speaker 1: But it was a bummer that in that I was

798
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 1: just so and you know, and I could have probably

799
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:31,080
Speaker 1: told her how I was feeling and she would have said,

800
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:34,319
Speaker 1: we'll come over anyway, But depression is a liar, and

801
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:36,360
Speaker 1: it just told me I was too toxic and too

802
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 1: too negative to be around anybody in that in that time. Meanwhile,

803
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 1: I did send my son over because her son and

804
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 1: my son are best friends.

805
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:47,279
Speaker 2: So now there you go.

806
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:51,920
Speaker 1: You had a good time. But that is definitely something

807
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:56,800
Speaker 1: I could be adding back into my life. What brings

808
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:57,319
Speaker 1: you all joy?

809
00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:01,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, for me, it's always try so Raina. When you

810
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 2: were saying like, how are you finding like the micro joy,

811
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say that I don't find joy

812
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:12,279
Speaker 2: in the small doses because I try to be really

813
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 2: intentional about that and like practice gratitude and you know,

814
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 2: mindfully say like here are five things today that I'm

815
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:21,839
Speaker 2: grateful for. Even if I woke up in a mood

816
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:23,840
Speaker 2: or if my body's hurting or whatever it might be.

817
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 2: But I really love looking forward to a vacation. And

818
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 2: so again, because we have four sets of grandparents, we

819
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:38,399
Speaker 2: are able to travel with the children and without them.

820
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:41,840
Speaker 2: And so like next month, Brandon and I are going

821
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 2: to Saint Lucia. It was supposed to be my fortieth

822
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 2: birthday trip from the spring, but because Brandon tores Achilles,

823
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:51,880
Speaker 2: we had to push it. And so I've been waiting

824
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 2: for this trip for like months and months, and then

825
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:56,840
Speaker 2: I looked up and I was like, oh my gosh,

826
00:44:56,880 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 2: it's next month. Like I'm so happy to get at

827
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:03,279
Speaker 2: a couple of nights away where I don't have to

828
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:04,880
Speaker 2: do anything. I don't have to lift a finger, I

829
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:06,520
Speaker 2: don't have to make a bed, I don't have to

830
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 2: empty the dishwasher every morning at seven am. I don't

831
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:14,280
Speaker 2: need to, you know, run the vacuum cleaner after every

832
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 2: meal because the kids don't know how to eat over

833
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 2: their dang plates, like.

834
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:25,840
Speaker 1: So deciding what to eat everything so many times another meal,

835
00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 1: I have to.

836
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:31,719
Speaker 2: Decide it's either that or My son is like he's

837
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:34,879
Speaker 2: like literally addicted to goldfish at this point, Like he

838
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:39,080
Speaker 2: like will have a full on hantrum breakdown if I

839
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 2: deny him goldfish and I'm like, great, he's an addict, Okay,

840
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 2: here we are.

841
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 1: You're made to be addicting, I know, and he literally

842
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:49,279
Speaker 1: is and it so I'm so excited for you. I

843
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 1: haven't had a vacation. My husband and I took a

844
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:56,879
Speaker 1: vacation in August together. It was a marriage resuscitation week

845
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,120
Speaker 1: because girl we was on life support and it was

846
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,719
Speaker 1: so needed. But in order to accomplish that, I had

847
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 1: to fly my children to Saint Louis, fly back the

848
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:10,920
Speaker 1: same day, and then do it again two weeks later.

849
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:16,200
Speaker 1: And it was so expensive. And but when we were

850
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 1: in when we were in, yes, but we can't recreate

851
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:24,279
Speaker 1: it easily. But when we're in a family compound, I

852
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:27,359
Speaker 1: look forward to that day.

853
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:30,719
Speaker 2: What if I mean, even aside from the family compound,

854
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:34,399
Speaker 2: like we have a friend, they will fly the mom in.

855
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 2: They're in North Carolina, they fly the mom in from Tennessee,

856
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:40,600
Speaker 2: so they cover her flight or do it with points

857
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:42,840
Speaker 2: or miles or however they can get it done. But

858
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:44,719
Speaker 2: that way, you're not taking I mean, who wants to

859
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 2: be at an airport twice in one day to like

860
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 2: drop your kids off and then you know, is there

861
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:51,319
Speaker 2: anything that you could do like that, like if you

862
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 2: flew your brother in or your sister in and then

863
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:57,120
Speaker 2: they stay with you. Because I also find that the

864
00:46:57,239 --> 00:47:01,359
Speaker 2: kids do better if they're in their beds, they have

865
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 2: their toys, they have their environment. And then also we

866
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:09,279
Speaker 2: typically travel during the week so that the kids are

867
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 2: in school when possible, So then that way it kind

868
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 2: of alleviates some of the burden on the grandparents because

869
00:47:15,719 --> 00:47:17,959
Speaker 2: being with the kids kind of twenty four to seven

870
00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:20,319
Speaker 2: is a lot. But if they're going to school for

871
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 2: a big chunk of the day, then as long as

872
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 2: they get them out on time, do their lunches, and

873
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:26,920
Speaker 2: then they can do the nighttime routine. But they get

874
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:29,839
Speaker 2: a nice, you know, seven eight hour break during the day.

875
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:32,319
Speaker 2: I think it really helps them because again, of course

876
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:37,640
Speaker 2: our parents are My parents are mid sixties, late mid

877
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:40,640
Speaker 2: and late sixties, so giving them a little bit of

878
00:47:40,680 --> 00:47:44,080
Speaker 2: a break during the day really helps them. But that's

879
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:46,799
Speaker 2: kind of how we've been able to travel and make

880
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:49,200
Speaker 2: it work and have people come stay with us and

881
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:49,760
Speaker 2: our kids.

882
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:55,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good idea. Unfortunately, it hasn't been able

883
00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:58,400
Speaker 1: to work out as someone's either got a health issue

884
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:02,360
Speaker 1: or they have a partner, like there's there's just complicating factors.

885
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:06,879
Speaker 1: So them coming here, it's always it's rarely like an

886
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 1: easy an easy thing, and like it's more comfortable for

887
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:14,239
Speaker 1: them to be in their space and like, fortunately my

888
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 1: boys have a really good time when they're like at

889
00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:20,040
Speaker 1: my mom's. But then to justify it, you do have

890
00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:22,000
Speaker 1: to make it a long trip. And so it's like

891
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:25,560
Speaker 1: two weeks and that that's bored us too much. For me,

892
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 1: I had to miss them, miss them babies.

893
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 2: But it's good to miss them.

894
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:33,359
Speaker 3: It's good to get addicting. You're like when you want

895
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:34,839
Speaker 3: to be away from them, and then when you're away

896
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 3: for them too long, you like start to itch.

897
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:40,839
Speaker 2: Like healthy because usually at the end of our vacations

898
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:42,719
Speaker 2: we're like, oh, we're ready to see the kids, and

899
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:44,839
Speaker 2: then within you know, three hours of being with them,

900
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 2: were like, yeah, I'm going to be back on vacation.

901
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 2: But I think it's healthy to miss them too.

902
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:54,319
Speaker 1: It was worth it for us though, for the for us,

903
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 1: for our relationship, it was it was so needed to

904
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,120
Speaker 1: look at some things we had been neglecting.

905
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:02,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so good.

906
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:05,440
Speaker 3: Yeah. We did a mini trip with the kids. But

907
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 3: we haven't done like my family. We haven't met my partner.

908
00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:13,360
Speaker 3: We haven't really done as much like solo traveling. We

909
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 3: went to a wedding once that was like a two

910
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,759
Speaker 3: night thing, which was fun. That's when my dad was alive,

911
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:21,759
Speaker 3: my dad life before my dad was here, life after right, Uh,

912
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 3: it was easier and it's like just a it was

913
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:27,399
Speaker 3: a nice I feel like two days, a nice weekend away.

914
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:29,560
Speaker 3: It's like a nice recharge for me. The things that

915
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:34,600
Speaker 3: have found brought me joy. I've been dancing again. I

916
00:49:34,719 --> 00:49:37,800
Speaker 3: used to be like a really big dancer, like in college.

917
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 3: I danced before the babies. Actually, the reason why I

918
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:42,560
Speaker 3: have my son is because I went to a heels

919
00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:45,799
Speaker 3: dance class and after the he'll dance class, I was like,

920
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:47,560
Speaker 3: let me try these moves.

921
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:53,879
Speaker 2: Oops, I don't know advertising they were going for.

922
00:49:56,040 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 3: Beware, I've found I haven't been able to get to

923
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:03,799
Speaker 3: a dance class, but just turning on music. Like the

924
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:05,600
Speaker 3: other day, I just had a dance party in the

925
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:07,759
Speaker 3: living room and my kids were looking at me like

926
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:09,799
Speaker 3: I was crazy, But then they started dancing with me,

927
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 3: like I was still dancing by myself. But it was

928
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:15,319
Speaker 3: just fun to kind of just like get moving. I

929
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:18,520
Speaker 3: think for me, movement has brought me joy. I used

930
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 3: to be a really big mover, Like I used to run,

931
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:23,640
Speaker 3: I used to do so much, and I just feel

932
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:28,560
Speaker 3: like that movement part of me hasn't been prioritized because

933
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 3: it's always like I don't want to go on a

934
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:31,840
Speaker 3: walk with the kids all the time, right, But like,

935
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 3: at the same time, bring them out the house or

936
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 3: getting them to the park or you know, pushing the

937
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:39,560
Speaker 3: stroller around the lake is good for them. So I

938
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:41,200
Speaker 3: think that I can kind of get them, you know,

939
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:43,600
Speaker 3: kill two birds with one stone. But at the same time,

940
00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:47,360
Speaker 3: it's not the same you're It's like it's not the

941
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:50,440
Speaker 3: same walk. So I've been trying to like maybe the

942
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:54,080
Speaker 3: next step is after work or before I go home,

943
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:56,440
Speaker 3: take a dance class in the city or something like that,

944
00:50:56,520 --> 00:51:01,440
Speaker 3: Like that might be a way to alleviate or to

945
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:03,880
Speaker 3: bring more joy. Cooking has been a big one for me,

946
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:05,400
Speaker 3: And I was going to talk about the act of

947
00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:07,840
Speaker 3: like mirror neurons. Maybe I've heard of the idea of

948
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:11,960
Speaker 3: mirror neurons of like when you see someone doing something

949
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 3: that you desire, you can kind of have that feeling

950
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:17,000
Speaker 3: yourself it's kind of how social media works. Like it's

951
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,319
Speaker 3: like the dopamine hit that you get when you see

952
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 3: someone like going on a trip, Like why don't we

953
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 3: watch these shows because we kind of sickly desire that life?

954
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:28,480
Speaker 3: In some way, I've been doing that with cooking videos.

955
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:32,680
Speaker 3: I'll wasch chefs like just cooking, and it brings me

956
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:35,800
Speaker 3: this joy where I feel like I'm the chef cooking myself.

957
00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:37,279
Speaker 3: So I don't know, maybe that could be a way

958
00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:40,399
Speaker 3: of tricking my body into more joy, but it's been

959
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:43,320
Speaker 3: inspiring to me to just like watch these videos and

960
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:45,840
Speaker 3: in my head I'll try to recreate it, like I

961
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:49,719
Speaker 3: make everything a scene. My friend told me I have

962
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:53,279
Speaker 3: a friend who she should be clinically depressed by just

963
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:56,040
Speaker 3: her life, right, but she gave me this hint. She

964
00:51:56,280 --> 00:52:00,399
Speaker 3: was just like, I'm delusional. I just tell my self

965
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 3: delusional shit. That's probably not true, but just the act

966
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:08,320
Speaker 3: of like saying it out loud, like I'm living a grand,

967
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,920
Speaker 3: fabulous life. I have a huge kitchen, I'm making all

968
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:14,160
Speaker 3: these things. It might sound like a creative, fanciful thinking,

969
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:18,719
Speaker 3: but for her, it's just like faking the joy a bit,

970
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 3: or speaking the joy into things. That might see mundane sense.

971
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:28,760
Speaker 3: Even the commute, well, the commute into work is so boring.

972
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:31,480
Speaker 3: But what I like to do is all people watch

973
00:52:31,680 --> 00:52:34,040
Speaker 3: and I'll write it down what I see, or like

974
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:37,200
Speaker 3: I'll overhear conversations and I'll just write it down and

975
00:52:37,239 --> 00:52:39,760
Speaker 3: I'll use it as a creative prompt for my writing.

976
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:42,040
Speaker 3: I'm like, all right, I heard this person gossiping about this,

977
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:43,840
Speaker 3: Like there was this one lady who was talking about

978
00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:46,799
Speaker 3: talking to her nanny about how her barbecue chicken better

979
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:49,120
Speaker 3: be done when she's home. And I'm like, oh, that

980
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:52,120
Speaker 3: could be a cute. Like I start to a movie,

981
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 3: like I'll just write what all my stuff as inspiration,

982
00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 3: I try to find the joy around me when I

983
00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:00,720
Speaker 3: can't find the joy in me. Sometimes be a good quote.

984
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:03,080
Speaker 2: That is a good quote. But you know they say

985
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:07,239
Speaker 2: that your brain doesn't actually know the difference between like reality,

986
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:10,600
Speaker 2: like truth and lies. So like you do need to

987
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:12,760
Speaker 2: lie to yourself. You do need to say.

988
00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:16,320
Speaker 1: I believe in a lot of negative shit. That's depression. Yeah,

989
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:17,920
Speaker 1: I just choose to believe.

990
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:21,960
Speaker 2: You need to change that and exactly and and lie

991
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,399
Speaker 2: to yourself and we do a lot of that. Yeah,

992
00:53:24,640 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 2: it's like.

993
00:53:25,040 --> 00:53:29,360
Speaker 1: This but it creates like a bullet proof screen in

994
00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 1: front of me people's positivity. It just can't. It's hard

995
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:35,520
Speaker 1: to get it in. Like it's like trying to get

996
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:37,359
Speaker 1: to the center and.

997
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:40,719
Speaker 2: You know, leave everybody else's positivity. But just like lie

998
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 2: to yourself positively, like start start talking to yourself about

999
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 2: is the salulu. Yeah, like you're any family compound that's

1000
00:53:50,200 --> 00:53:52,759
Speaker 2: going to be incredible and like the garden in the

1001
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:55,600
Speaker 2: middle that everybody's going to be participating in and you're

1002
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:58,839
Speaker 2: going to completely live off of the land and grow

1003
00:53:58,840 --> 00:53:59,760
Speaker 2: your watermelons.

1004
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 3: You know. I'm going to a mood board, Mandy. Can

1005
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:04,880
Speaker 3: you do like a mood board that you have in

1006
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:07,799
Speaker 3: your office space where you're like starting to plant it out,

1007
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:11,440
Speaker 3: like you know, put a little garden on the side

1008
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 3: on one side. Yeah, psychologist, I don't know all this

1009
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:19,920
Speaker 3: will work.

1010
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:23,920
Speaker 1: But visualize it. No, it certainly can't hurt. I think

1011
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:26,879
Speaker 1: we should set some goals before we because I think

1012
00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:29,120
Speaker 1: we should do this call again, maybe not another six months,

1013
00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:33,840
Speaker 1: but sooner. And well, let's not put any pressure on

1014
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:38,319
Speaker 1: it because y'all know we Mom, she's you know too much.

1015
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:41,879
Speaker 1: But I don't want to be committing. But I think

1016
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:43,799
Speaker 1: if I was going to set a goal, my goal

1017
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,239
Speaker 1: would be don't be depressed anymore. But that's not realistic.

1018
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 2: Okay, that's too much pressure.

1019
00:54:49,680 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 1: My goal is to do a thing that find my

1020
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:55,920
Speaker 1: find something that brings me joy, that can get through

1021
00:54:55,960 --> 00:55:02,000
Speaker 1: the bulletproof depression glass and and can bring me some joy.

1022
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:04,440
Speaker 1: And I think your cooking class idea might be a

1023
00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:08,200
Speaker 1: good one. But even if it's like a cocktail with

1024
00:55:08,239 --> 00:55:14,279
Speaker 1: a friend or just baking something ridiculously intricate because I

1025
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:17,360
Speaker 1: like take off. I always wanted to I make like

1026
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:20,840
Speaker 1: a character cake for my kids birthdays, but I just

1027
00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:22,560
Speaker 1: I could just do one for the heck of it.

1028
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:30,279
Speaker 2: Oh my god, they would love it. Yeah, you know that, right,

1029
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:35,160
Speaker 2: shred the carrots, Mandy, shred the carrots. Yeah, no, this

1030
00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:35,600
Speaker 2: is for you.

1031
00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:40,640
Speaker 1: It's not Remember a weekly joy. Daily sounds like too much,

1032
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:43,759
Speaker 1: isn't that sad? Daily joy is too much? Maybe once

1033
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:47,080
Speaker 1: a week, but try to find my joy activity.

1034
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:50,680
Speaker 3: I was going to say something X rated, but I

1035
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:53,640
Speaker 3: think we have I'll tell it to you after after that.

1036
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:58,080
Speaker 2: Oh, now I want to know what please does is it?

1037
00:55:58,160 --> 00:55:59,320
Speaker 2: Does it involve the heels?

1038
00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:09,759
Speaker 3: It could evolve here? Pregnant you might get a dopamine

1039
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:13,480
Speaker 3: fix in another way, maybe a self dopamine fix, you know,

1040
00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:19,240
Speaker 3: put that into your masturbate more. Get yes, get some toys.

1041
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:21,080
Speaker 3: You know what's funny. I never told anyone this. So

1042
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:23,920
Speaker 3: if you're listening to this and you listen to my podcast,

1043
00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:27,440
Speaker 3: this is gonna sound so weird. Guys to advertise that go,

1044
00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:31,920
Speaker 3: I used to like if I had a bad day

1045
00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:34,040
Speaker 3: at work, because before when I used to like early

1046
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:36,719
Speaker 3: in the podcast days, I used to only record afterwork,

1047
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:39,080
Speaker 3: which is like seven eight. Now that I'm thinking about it,

1048
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:40,759
Speaker 3: I don't know how I got people to record with

1049
00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:43,640
Speaker 3: me seven and eight o'clock. Anyway, that was a different time.

1050
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:48,440
Speaker 3: I used to like sometimes masturbate before interview, just to

1051
00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:51,240
Speaker 3: get like a little like I'm thebombed diggity dot com.

1052
00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:55,359
Speaker 1: Before it sounds healthy, it sounds cocaine.

1053
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:56,879
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I.

1054
00:56:56,800 --> 00:57:00,360
Speaker 3: Mean that was my bump. That was my little like

1055
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:04,160
Speaker 3: little like pocket a vibrator, And I'd like, all right, now.

1056
00:57:04,040 --> 00:57:05,080
Speaker 2: You're really good to go.

1057
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:08,080
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that's kind of jealous that you could

1058
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:10,600
Speaker 1: just like turn it on like that. I need to buy.

1059
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:13,479
Speaker 2: I love that people are like I do a five

1060
00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:17,120
Speaker 2: minute Superman stance before and you're like, I'm going to

1061
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 2: take a different the.

1062
00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:25,440
Speaker 3: Good now I'm ready. That's I mean, maybe like finally

1063
00:57:25,480 --> 00:57:29,479
Speaker 3: little like fake a fake cocaine moment for you that can.

1064
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:31,880
Speaker 1: Oh, you're right, well, I do have a box of

1065
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:36,520
Speaker 1: gummies that's just for mommy, obviously, and I have found

1066
00:57:36,520 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 1: that to be like if I'm really struggling things already,

1067
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:40,320
Speaker 1: I'll take a little a little gummy.

1068
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:43,680
Speaker 2: But those make my heart palpitate so much I can't

1069
00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:44,240
Speaker 2: do it anymore.

1070
00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:47,640
Speaker 3: I've never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever ever ever gonna

1071
00:57:47,680 --> 00:57:49,240
Speaker 3: try edibles again.

1072
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:53,360
Speaker 2: Experience. Yeah, not great for me either, Not great for.

1073
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:55,520
Speaker 3: I had a twenty four hour I can't get out

1074
00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:59,440
Speaker 3: of my mind experience because I had an event and

1075
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,160
Speaker 3: someone gets gave me a cake pop and they told

1076
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:04,840
Speaker 3: me to eat it in nipples. It was not nipples

1077
00:58:04,840 --> 00:58:05,960
Speaker 3: and nibbles.

1078
00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:07,200
Speaker 2: Like a sponsor.

1079
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:12,440
Speaker 3: It was a sponsor and like she she provided like

1080
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:14,560
Speaker 3: the people at my event, like you know edible like

1081
00:58:14,600 --> 00:58:17,640
Speaker 3: it was like cookies and cake pops. I didn't know

1082
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:21,240
Speaker 3: that meant you take a little portion of the cake pop.

1083
00:58:21,560 --> 00:58:22,840
Speaker 3: I ate the whole.

1084
00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:26,520
Speaker 1: Weird thing to expect someone to portion out like how nibbles,

1085
00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:27,480
Speaker 1: slice a.

1086
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:28,440
Speaker 3: Cake, nibbled.

1087
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:29,040
Speaker 1: I ate it, and.

1088
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:32,120
Speaker 2: I ate it really slowly.

1089
00:58:32,440 --> 00:58:34,760
Speaker 1: Just put it in your pocket, just get a little

1090
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:35,320
Speaker 1: nibble everything.

1091
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:38,200
Speaker 3: I didn't know that, and I'm just like, have that.

1092
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:40,400
Speaker 3: Life is not meant for me. It scared me. I

1093
00:58:40,400 --> 00:58:42,400
Speaker 3: said never again. I felt like, I'm like, is this

1094
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:45,479
Speaker 3: how crackheads become crackheads? And they're trying to convince people

1095
00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:48,200
Speaker 3: they're normal. Like in my mind, I was like, this

1096
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 3: is not prepared, No, no, no.

1097
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:54,120
Speaker 1: You have to do a reputable, reputable, you know, brand

1098
00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:57,560
Speaker 1: that's not a homegrown no no, yes, and food that

1099
00:58:57,600 --> 00:59:01,360
Speaker 1: people bake with butter, none of that. Like we need

1100
00:59:01,440 --> 00:59:05,280
Speaker 1: like very well portioned, like and you're right to your point,

1101
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:07,040
Speaker 1: like you have to be you should be careful and

1102
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:09,320
Speaker 1: like it's definitely not It took me a while to

1103
00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:12,560
Speaker 1: find something that actually could take the edge off a

1104
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:16,320
Speaker 1: little bit. But now that I've found it, and uh,

1105
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:21,919
Speaker 1: it's like a Filipina owned woman, she's Filipina, she makes

1106
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:24,120
Speaker 1: them herself. They're so delicious. And then there's some that

1107
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:26,600
Speaker 1: don't have THHD, they just have CBD, and there's some

1108
00:59:26,680 --> 00:59:29,320
Speaker 1: that have a combination of both. And it's like you

1109
00:59:29,360 --> 00:59:31,640
Speaker 1: can like you have to know how many milligrams you

1110
00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:33,800
Speaker 1: can take or what is it? Mcg's what does that

1111
00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:38,440
Speaker 1: stand for? Yeah, micrograms, the dosing and all that. Anyway,

1112
00:59:38,440 --> 00:59:38,600
Speaker 1: have you.

1113
00:59:38,600 --> 00:59:40,480
Speaker 2: Ever done the drinks?

1114
00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:43,640
Speaker 1: I have not tried to drink yet. I yeah, no,

1115
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:44,080
Speaker 1: I haven't.

1116
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:46,000
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to get my brother to send you.

1117
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:50,600
Speaker 2: He like partners with this company. It's a friend of

1118
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:54,240
Speaker 2: his owns the company and he has multiple CBD type

1119
00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:57,440
Speaker 2: stores and dispensaries and stuff. And it's I don't know

1120
00:59:57,440 --> 01:00:00,880
Speaker 2: if it's it's got THHC, but it's a that's like

1121
01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 2: happy and so it's meant to be a social drink

1122
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:08,320
Speaker 2: and it's called nine Dot. I'll send you the link

1123
01:00:08,560 --> 01:00:12,640
Speaker 2: and people love it. Again, it's not my thing because

1124
01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:17,200
Speaker 2: I just don't like that feeling. But it's supposed to

1125
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:19,680
Speaker 2: like make you just super giddy and happy and like

1126
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:23,200
Speaker 2: you know, not like femo out.

1127
01:00:24,120 --> 01:00:26,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's that. The whole conversation is like a good

1128
01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:29,280
Speaker 1: one to have. Like again, you know where we can

1129
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:31,560
Speaker 1: do it more in depth because I have I don't

1130
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:33,919
Speaker 1: want to become reliant on anything, and I don't want

1131
01:00:33,920 --> 01:00:36,800
Speaker 1: to like mask, I'd rather I want to work on healings,

1132
01:00:36,920 --> 01:00:40,160
Speaker 1: I can like mask, not in a massive fix heel.

1133
01:00:40,520 --> 01:00:44,720
Speaker 1: So I'm not ressed, right, moved like actually moved through

1134
01:00:44,720 --> 01:00:48,320
Speaker 1: it rather than trying to numb through it like during

1135
01:00:48,400 --> 01:00:51,680
Speaker 1: like really acute moments if I can't sleep or if

1136
01:00:51,680 --> 01:00:55,479
Speaker 1: it's like really really intense a gummy once a week

1137
01:00:55,560 --> 01:00:59,200
Speaker 1: or once every other week whenever, you know. But yeah,

1138
01:00:59,200 --> 01:01:01,520
Speaker 1: I don't want to be because I'm so like the

1139
01:01:01,560 --> 01:01:04,160
Speaker 1: depression is like more rampant now. I'm just a little

1140
01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:07,240
Speaker 1: weary of like adding something. Yeah, I want to like

1141
01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:11,320
Speaker 1: see my therapist and and you know, I'm also in

1142
01:01:11,360 --> 01:01:13,880
Speaker 1: a weight loss program. I'm getting a sea pop machine

1143
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:21,720
Speaker 1: because girls got sleep apnea, Like oh yeah, all these.

1144
01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:23,080
Speaker 2: Because you tell you alls apart, that's just the reality.

1145
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:24,000
Speaker 1: What's that?

1146
01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:27,200
Speaker 3: Yeah? I was gonna say, Mandy, can I tell you something?

1147
01:01:27,400 --> 01:01:32,000
Speaker 3: And it is you are doing it like you give

1148
01:01:32,040 --> 01:01:38,280
Speaker 3: yourself a hug, like you know, like you so much hard.

1149
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:44,520
Speaker 1: Mama is doing everything, elkit, babe, every single one I'm trying.

1150
01:01:44,680 --> 01:01:48,160
Speaker 3: That's so like courageous of you, and that's so commendable

1151
01:01:48,400 --> 01:01:52,200
Speaker 3: and like it's it's going to work out for you,

1152
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:54,520
Speaker 3: Like this is you know how I know? I don't

1153
01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:56,640
Speaker 3: I don't know when I don't like to like say

1154
01:01:56,680 --> 01:01:59,120
Speaker 3: cliche things, but like you know, there's that say like

1155
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:02,080
Speaker 3: this too shell pass And I think because you are

1156
01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:05,440
Speaker 3: doing the work for it to pass, like it's going

1157
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:07,400
Speaker 3: there is going to be light at the end of

1158
01:02:07,400 --> 01:02:09,560
Speaker 3: the tunnel. So I'm giving you a virtual hug because

1159
01:02:09,560 --> 01:02:12,640
Speaker 3: I just want to I can hug you, give you

1160
01:02:12,680 --> 01:02:16,680
Speaker 3: a hug, and someone listening in right now, who may

1161
01:02:16,720 --> 01:02:20,080
Speaker 3: be feeling like you, may be may be able to, like,

1162
01:02:20,120 --> 01:02:24,000
Speaker 3: you know, to understand what one of us is going

1163
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:26,760
Speaker 3: through as well, Like this is the work. Just talking

1164
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:30,360
Speaker 3: about it is the biggest thing, and so many people

1165
01:02:30,400 --> 01:02:33,200
Speaker 3: aren't talking about it. So just by allowing us to

1166
01:02:33,240 --> 01:02:36,800
Speaker 3: have this conversation today, you're not only helping yourself, but

1167
01:02:36,840 --> 01:02:39,560
Speaker 3: you're helping you know, whoever's listening to this as well.

1168
01:02:40,440 --> 01:02:43,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're helping people not feel alone and what they're

1169
01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:47,280
Speaker 2: battling with, which is so important, especially when things in

1170
01:02:47,320 --> 01:02:49,120
Speaker 2: today's world feel so isolating.

1171
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:52,560
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's the biggest And they

1172
01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:55,280
Speaker 3: say motherhood is like the biggest the biggest party that

1173
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:57,240
Speaker 3: you feel the most alone at, right.

1174
01:02:57,920 --> 01:03:00,040
Speaker 1: Well, it's hard to go along with you, ladies, and

1175
01:03:00,160 --> 01:03:03,760
Speaker 1: thank you for your fundability to and Jessica, and you know,

1176
01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:08,800
Speaker 1: whether it's like a chronic like physical pain. I mean,

1177
01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:11,840
Speaker 1: that is so real. And when it's messing anything that's

1178
01:03:11,840 --> 01:03:14,880
Speaker 1: messing with your sleep, girl, like we know it all

1179
01:03:14,960 --> 01:03:15,880
Speaker 1: can mess with your sleep.

1180
01:03:15,880 --> 01:03:19,000
Speaker 2: And then everything about a twenty mattress because I was like,

1181
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:20,880
Speaker 2: I got to do something. I'm already doing all the

1182
01:03:20,920 --> 01:03:23,520
Speaker 2: other things, all the physical therapy and all the injections,

1183
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:26,640
Speaker 2: all the I'm like, all right, let's change the mattress.

1184
01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:30,880
Speaker 1: But yeah, I hope it works, just anything. And I

1185
01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 1: send that love right back to you all too, Rena.

1186
01:03:33,880 --> 01:03:37,600
Speaker 1: Whatever you decide about that damn job in this commute,

1187
01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:40,040
Speaker 1: in that five days a week, I'll be thinking about you.

1188
01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:43,000
Speaker 1: But I hope you are some more dancing. Yeah yeah,

1189
01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:44,440
Speaker 1: maybe that can ease it.

1190
01:03:44,520 --> 01:03:46,480
Speaker 3: But I will not end up pregnant again.

1191
01:03:46,520 --> 01:03:50,520
Speaker 1: Okay, guys, very my deepest depression. Sometimes I think, could

1192
01:03:50,520 --> 01:03:52,080
Speaker 1: I have another baby and feel better?

1193
01:03:52,760 --> 01:03:59,360
Speaker 2: Oh no, A liar, get you and I U d

1194
01:03:59,560 --> 01:04:01,880
Speaker 2: while you still can listen.

1195
01:04:04,760 --> 01:04:06,600
Speaker 3: One of those, because I will say, although we say

1196
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:09,640
Speaker 3: children shouldn't bring us joy, it shouldn't be the only

1197
01:04:09,720 --> 01:04:12,200
Speaker 3: thing that brings us joy. I am so happy. I

1198
01:04:12,240 --> 01:04:16,160
Speaker 3: have them, because imagine if you didn't. I sometimes think about, like,

1199
01:04:16,960 --> 01:04:19,640
Speaker 3: I know that I use them for you know, that

1200
01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:23,040
Speaker 3: little joy spike that you need sometimes. But if I

1201
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:25,920
Speaker 3: didn't have them, damn, this ship would probably be even tougher.

1202
01:04:26,120 --> 01:04:27,840
Speaker 3: Like I don't agree with that.

1203
01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:31,440
Speaker 2: I don't agree with that, No, okay, but okay, I

1204
01:04:31,760 --> 01:04:32,280
Speaker 2: just say that.

1205
01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:35,680
Speaker 1: If you didn't have them, you'd probably be very happy,

1206
01:04:36,040 --> 01:04:38,640
Speaker 1: as you'd be very well rested, your bank account would

1207
01:04:38,640 --> 01:04:42,479
Speaker 1: be I wouldn't have a black circles under my eyes

1208
01:04:42,520 --> 01:04:44,000
Speaker 1: that I literally cannot get rid of.

1209
01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:47,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know what, for the sake of society,

1210
01:04:47,160 --> 01:04:49,320
Speaker 3: we mothers still need to We still need people to

1211
01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:50,840
Speaker 3: want to be mothers, so that you know, you.

1212
01:04:50,840 --> 01:04:52,760
Speaker 1: Can't go there, you can't go to the what if

1213
01:04:52,840 --> 01:04:55,200
Speaker 1: they weren't here? I know, I know that's just you

1214
01:04:55,240 --> 01:04:58,000
Speaker 1: can't take that that Pandora's box has been open.

1215
01:04:58,280 --> 01:05:01,040
Speaker 3: I'm happy that they're here because they they do provide

1216
01:05:01,080 --> 01:05:04,120
Speaker 3: me a at least for the life I'm in now,

1217
01:05:04,240 --> 01:05:07,680
Speaker 3: something to motivate me, even if I am using them,

1218
01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:10,400
Speaker 3: as you know, probably shouldn't always use them as joy crutches.

1219
01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:14,400
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna take pole like you're giving, like there's

1220
01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:16,880
Speaker 1: there's that you know that the truth is when you

1221
01:05:16,960 --> 01:05:20,560
Speaker 1: give and you're you're doing something that's outside of yourself,

1222
01:05:21,240 --> 01:05:23,520
Speaker 1: Like it feels good to be the giver. And as

1223
01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:27,760
Speaker 1: long as you're giving and receiving and it's reciprocal, then

1224
01:05:27,800 --> 01:05:31,200
Speaker 1: I don't think it's toxic. And you you know, feel

1225
01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:34,120
Speaker 1: that humans and absorbed.

1226
01:05:35,960 --> 01:05:39,120
Speaker 3: My son said something to me the other day. Oh sorry,

1227
01:05:39,200 --> 01:05:40,800
Speaker 3: my son said something to me the other day, and

1228
01:05:40,840 --> 01:05:42,840
Speaker 3: I'm like, whoa, this is so weird. So like I

1229
01:05:42,880 --> 01:05:45,160
Speaker 3: always say to him, I know my son, right, Like

1230
01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:47,560
Speaker 3: if I know that he's doing something he shouldn't, I

1231
01:05:47,640 --> 01:05:50,120
Speaker 3: be like, axel, I know my son. And so I

1232
01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:51,920
Speaker 3: was telling him about how I really want to make

1233
01:05:51,960 --> 01:05:54,400
Speaker 3: this recipe and he was like, Mom, you're just gonna

1234
01:05:54,440 --> 01:05:57,080
Speaker 3: watch a YouTube video and how to do it. Then

1235
01:05:57,080 --> 01:06:01,480
Speaker 3: he was like, I know, my mom got you.

1236
01:06:02,280 --> 01:06:02,960
Speaker 2: That's so cute.

1237
01:06:03,040 --> 01:06:05,400
Speaker 3: And so just those moments they just make you know,

1238
01:06:05,480 --> 01:06:06,400
Speaker 3: they make it worth it.

1239
01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:08,520
Speaker 1: Wait, so I have my goal? Did y'all want to

1240
01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:13,880
Speaker 1: set a little personal goal before we reconvene in the future.

1241
01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:18,960
Speaker 2: I don't know that I have anything, not that I

1242
01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:20,960
Speaker 2: don't have goals, but I feel like my goals are

1243
01:06:22,800 --> 01:06:26,400
Speaker 2: they're more work related, you know, which is like not fun,

1244
01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:28,840
Speaker 2: and I don't feel like that's the vibe of our conversation.

1245
01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:31,240
Speaker 2: So I'm going to keep mind to myself today.

1246
01:06:31,360 --> 01:06:34,000
Speaker 1: What about the I When does that get here?

1247
01:06:35,200 --> 01:06:38,080
Speaker 2: Oh? I've been sleeping on it for maybe a month

1248
01:06:38,200 --> 01:06:40,600
Speaker 2: a month and a half now, and I do notice

1249
01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:44,160
Speaker 2: a difference, but it's hard to truly feel a difference

1250
01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:47,400
Speaker 2: when you're just like in so much pain. But I

1251
01:06:47,440 --> 01:06:50,840
Speaker 2: literally had an epidural shot in my spine this morning,

1252
01:06:52,640 --> 01:06:59,000
Speaker 2: so hopefully steroid not a block, but hopefully it'll just

1253
01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:02,080
Speaker 2: give me the relief that I'm looking for. The last

1254
01:07:02,200 --> 01:07:05,480
Speaker 2: injections that I got did little to nothing, So that

1255
01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:08,280
Speaker 2: was four hundred and eighty three dollars almost down the drain.

1256
01:07:09,040 --> 01:07:11,760
Speaker 2: Today will be the three hundred and sixty three dollars

1257
01:07:12,160 --> 01:07:15,360
Speaker 2: if those do anything, and then from there we'll have

1258
01:07:15,400 --> 01:07:17,720
Speaker 2: to wait and see. But yeah, hopefully the next time

1259
01:07:17,760 --> 01:07:20,400
Speaker 2: we have this conversation, I will be feeling more like

1260
01:07:20,440 --> 01:07:24,960
Speaker 2: myself and feeling more rested and less in pain. That

1261
01:07:25,080 --> 01:07:26,480
Speaker 2: is for sure the ultimate goal.

1262
01:07:27,200 --> 01:07:31,000
Speaker 1: I'm praying for that for you so wonderful vacation.

1263
01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:36,560
Speaker 3: Hoping that well, yes, yes, my goal would be. I

1264
01:07:36,600 --> 01:07:42,280
Speaker 3: think it's also like returning to little moments that define

1265
01:07:42,360 --> 01:07:46,280
Speaker 3: raina before kids, so like getting those weekly or you know,

1266
01:07:46,560 --> 01:07:52,520
Speaker 3: monthly pedicures, dancing again. I booked a style consult with

1267
01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:57,000
Speaker 3: this like professional styleist really today just because I feel

1268
01:07:57,000 --> 01:07:59,080
Speaker 3: like visually I'm not showing up how I want to

1269
01:07:59,120 --> 01:08:01,640
Speaker 3: show up as much anymore, and I'm just like I

1270
01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:04,440
Speaker 3: just need to, Like, I think the bigger goal is

1271
01:08:04,520 --> 01:08:06,800
Speaker 3: spend money on the things that bring you joy, because

1272
01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:09,000
Speaker 3: I can be a cheap joy finder where there are

1273
01:08:09,000 --> 01:08:11,280
Speaker 3: some things you just need to spend money on life.

1274
01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:15,120
Speaker 3: You really want to work with a stylist, just pay

1275
01:08:15,200 --> 01:08:18,160
Speaker 3: the money right now, Like, don't hold on to the

1276
01:08:18,200 --> 01:08:20,519
Speaker 3: money just because you're trying to always save safe safe,

1277
01:08:20,560 --> 01:08:23,240
Speaker 3: I know, you know, my financial girl tell me I

1278
01:08:23,280 --> 01:08:24,960
Speaker 3: need to say to a budget I have and I.

1279
01:08:26,840 --> 01:08:27,759
Speaker 2: Value based spending.

1280
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:30,479
Speaker 3: So I think that's the big thing for me, is

1281
01:08:30,520 --> 01:08:34,040
Speaker 3: like don't be afraid to spend the money to make

1282
01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:39,120
Speaker 3: life happier, easier, more joyful. Like some days I'm like,

1283
01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:43,240
Speaker 3: we get in takeout today because that's it might cost

1284
01:08:43,280 --> 01:08:46,720
Speaker 3: more for budget grotriy wise, but it just makes sense

1285
01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:49,040
Speaker 3: for our peace of mind as a family. Right, And

1286
01:08:49,080 --> 01:08:51,400
Speaker 3: they're not gonna eat it anyway, So why am I

1287
01:08:51,640 --> 01:08:53,719
Speaker 3: sleeving over a meal that they're not eating.

1288
01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:55,960
Speaker 1: My husband and I get take out the kids. They're

1289
01:08:55,960 --> 01:08:57,799
Speaker 1: not going to eat it.

1290
01:08:59,560 --> 01:09:01,040
Speaker 2: And strap eat some fruit.

1291
01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:01,479
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1292
01:09:01,720 --> 01:09:03,720
Speaker 2: Oh, I can't wait to see how you show up

1293
01:09:03,760 --> 01:09:06,400
Speaker 2: on the next call right now in your new style.

1294
01:09:06,600 --> 01:09:08,280
Speaker 3: We'll see, we'll see. I didn't I said I booked it.

1295
01:09:08,320 --> 01:09:11,320
Speaker 3: I didn't say I booked her. I booked the console.

1296
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:15,200
Speaker 3: But it's not it's not the actual session.

1297
01:09:15,439 --> 01:09:17,880
Speaker 1: Speak for yourself. This is my BJS. No, this is

1298
01:09:17,960 --> 01:09:24,120
Speaker 1: Cole's versus plaid little I'm from finest now. But to

1299
01:09:24,160 --> 01:09:27,160
Speaker 1: that point, yeah, spending some time investing in yourself and

1300
01:09:27,280 --> 01:09:29,519
Speaker 1: the way you look and present it matters, you know,

1301
01:09:29,600 --> 01:09:30,760
Speaker 1: even if you got nowhere to go.

1302
01:09:31,040 --> 01:09:33,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly.

1303
01:09:33,640 --> 01:09:37,120
Speaker 1: Thank y'all so much for letting me come out of

1304
01:09:37,120 --> 01:09:40,519
Speaker 1: my depression closet and surprise you with that and.

1305
01:09:41,439 --> 01:09:44,599
Speaker 3: Hopefully, but we have a quart to action for the listeners, Mandy,

1306
01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:46,680
Speaker 3: do you have a quo to action they chime in

1307
01:09:46,840 --> 01:09:49,320
Speaker 3: or what they are doing, maybe that can be the

1308
01:09:49,360 --> 01:09:52,559
Speaker 3: call to action for this episode, Like, moms, what are

1309
01:09:52,640 --> 01:09:55,360
Speaker 3: you doing to you know? What's your goal? What's your

1310
01:09:55,439 --> 01:09:57,920
Speaker 3: joy goal for this month or what's your joy goal

1311
01:09:58,040 --> 01:09:59,000
Speaker 3: for the end of the year.

1312
01:09:59,439 --> 01:10:02,360
Speaker 1: I love that, Or what's your struggle if you just

1313
01:10:02,400 --> 01:10:04,439
Speaker 1: want to share, like you, what's your what is it

1314
01:10:04,479 --> 01:10:07,479
Speaker 1: that you're going through that maybe you don't feel like

1315
01:10:07,800 --> 01:10:10,040
Speaker 1: you can really acknowledge because you're doing doing doing for

1316
01:10:10,080 --> 01:10:12,759
Speaker 1: the kids and for the family. And just like Raina

1317
01:10:12,840 --> 01:10:15,840
Speaker 1: you opening up about grieving your father's passing and Jessica

1318
01:10:15,880 --> 01:10:19,320
Speaker 1: your chronic pain and my depression. Like we all, everyone's

1319
01:10:19,320 --> 01:10:23,360
Speaker 1: got something that we are, like an inner life that's

1320
01:10:23,400 --> 01:10:26,080
Speaker 1: not always the most positive, but maybe saying it out loud,

1321
01:10:27,000 --> 01:10:29,240
Speaker 1: we can be that safe space for y'all. And of

1322
01:10:29,320 --> 01:10:31,640
Speaker 1: course ba fam, you can always reach out to me

1323
01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:34,240
Speaker 1: Brand Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. But if you're

1324
01:10:34,240 --> 01:10:37,439
Speaker 1: watching on YouTube, you can leave a comment, put your

1325
01:10:37,479 --> 01:10:40,240
Speaker 1: business on the internet. Why not everyone else does it?

1326
01:10:40,439 --> 01:10:44,559
Speaker 1: Or DMV at Brand Ambition Podcast on I T And

1327
01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:47,559
Speaker 1: where can they find y'all? Sugar Daddy Podcast I think

1328
01:10:47,600 --> 01:10:48,759
Speaker 1: on it right.

1329
01:10:49,040 --> 01:10:51,640
Speaker 2: Yep, Matt the Sugar Daddy Podcast. And we did just

1330
01:10:51,680 --> 01:10:54,679
Speaker 2: get our blue check, So dismiss any of the other

1331
01:10:54,760 --> 01:10:57,080
Speaker 2: ones please, they're not real.

1332
01:10:57,680 --> 01:11:01,280
Speaker 3: Verify you can find me Dreams and drive. But my

1333
01:11:01,360 --> 01:11:05,280
Speaker 3: personal is rain r ai N shine, s h I

1334
01:11:05,360 --> 01:11:08,120
Speaker 3: N E, l U V love. It's funny because that

1335
01:11:08,200 --> 01:11:10,360
Speaker 3: has been This has been a model my entire life.

1336
01:11:10,400 --> 01:11:13,400
Speaker 3: You always have rain in life, good times, you always

1337
01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:16,639
Speaker 3: have bad times, rain right, good time, shine and love,

1338
01:11:16,800 --> 01:11:19,240
Speaker 3: like think of those things. Those are three constants in

1339
01:11:19,280 --> 01:11:22,400
Speaker 3: our life. So we accept that we're all going to

1340
01:11:22,439 --> 01:11:24,840
Speaker 3: be going through cycles of life and it just makes

1341
01:11:25,240 --> 01:11:26,519
Speaker 3: this journey a little bit better.

1342
01:11:27,520 --> 01:11:30,599
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna just accept that we're grumpy monkey and

1343
01:11:30,640 --> 01:11:31,040
Speaker 1: that's okay.

1344
01:11:31,120 --> 01:11:32,040
Speaker 2: I'm gonna find that book.

1345
01:11:32,120 --> 01:11:35,519
Speaker 1: Yes, thank you, it's so good. It's I love it

1346
01:11:36,040 --> 01:11:38,639
Speaker 1: all right, y'all be well, ba fam until next time,

1347
01:11:38,800 --> 01:11:44,120
Speaker 1: take care bye, okay v a fam. Thank you so

1348
01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:46,479
Speaker 1: much for listening to this week's show. I want to

1349
01:11:46,520 --> 01:11:51,000
Speaker 1: shout out to our production team, Courtney, our editor, Carla,

1350
01:11:51,160 --> 01:11:55,080
Speaker 1: our fearless leader for idea to launch productions. I want

1351
01:11:55,120 --> 01:11:59,360
Speaker 1: to shout out my assistant Lauda Escalante and Cameron McNair

1352
01:11:59,760 --> 01:12:02,080
Speaker 1: for helping me put the show together. It is not

1353
01:12:02,520 --> 01:12:05,880
Speaker 1: a one person project, as much as I have tried

1354
01:12:05,920 --> 01:12:08,599
Speaker 1: to make it so these past ten years. I need

1355
01:12:08,680 --> 01:12:11,599
Speaker 1: help y'all, and thank goodness, I've been able to put

1356
01:12:11,600 --> 01:12:14,360
Speaker 1: this team around me to support me on this journey

1357
01:12:14,760 --> 01:12:17,200
Speaker 1: and to y'all bea fam. I love you so, so,

1358
01:12:17,200 --> 01:12:20,760
Speaker 1: so so much. Please rate, review, subscribe, make sure you

1359
01:12:20,880 --> 01:12:23,000
Speaker 1: sign up to the newsletter to get all the latest

1360
01:12:23,080 --> 01:12:28,240
Speaker 1: updates on upcoming episodes, our ten year anniversary celebrations to come,

1361
01:12:28,840 --> 01:12:34,200
Speaker 1: and until next time. Talk to you soonba guy, hey,

1362
01:12:34,320 --> 01:12:36,840
Speaker 1: ba fam. Let's be real for a second, and y'all

1363
01:12:36,840 --> 01:12:38,920
Speaker 1: know I keep it a book. The job market has

1364
01:12:38,960 --> 01:12:42,880
Speaker 1: been brutal, now not brutal trash, especially for women of color.

1365
01:12:43,320 --> 01:12:46,240
Speaker 1: Over three hundred thousand of us have disappeared from the

1366
01:12:46,240 --> 01:12:49,880
Speaker 1: workforce this year alone, and not by choice, but because

1367
01:12:49,880 --> 01:12:55,080
Speaker 1: of layoffs, disappearing DEI programs, and stagnant wages that keep

1368
01:12:55,120 --> 01:12:58,679
Speaker 1: cutting us out of opportunity. Our unemployment rate has jumped

1369
01:12:58,680 --> 01:13:02,479
Speaker 1: to over seven percent, while our pay gap continues to widen.

1370
01:13:02,640 --> 01:13:04,800
Speaker 1: I know all of that sounds dire, but here's what

1371
01:13:04,840 --> 01:13:06,920
Speaker 1: I want y'all to know. You do not have to

1372
01:13:06,960 --> 01:13:10,280
Speaker 1: wait for the system to save you. That's exactly why

1373
01:13:10,320 --> 01:13:14,080
Speaker 1: I created the Mandy money Makers Group coaching community. It

1374
01:13:14,160 --> 01:13:17,160
Speaker 1: is a coaching community that is built for us by us.

1375
01:13:17,640 --> 01:13:20,479
Speaker 1: Inside the community, We're not just talking about how to

1376
01:13:20,520 --> 01:13:22,639
Speaker 1: negotiate or to how to get the job that you want.

1377
01:13:23,080 --> 01:13:26,839
Speaker 1: It's about finding purpose in your career. It's about finding

1378
01:13:26,880 --> 01:13:32,280
Speaker 1: communities and others, feeling seen, feeling heard, and also having

1379
01:13:32,360 --> 01:13:35,759
Speaker 1: a sounding board and a mirror to reflect your own magic,

1380
01:13:35,840 --> 01:13:39,880
Speaker 1: your own sparkle right back to yourself. In this community,

1381
01:13:39,920 --> 01:13:42,439
Speaker 1: you'll get group coaching led by me, but you also

1382
01:13:42,520 --> 01:13:46,440
Speaker 1: get peer to peer accountability with proven tools and resources

1383
01:13:46,479 --> 01:13:48,760
Speaker 1: that can help you do what we have always done

1384
01:13:48,760 --> 01:13:53,000
Speaker 1: since rise. Even when the odds are stacked against us,

1385
01:13:53,080 --> 01:13:57,559
Speaker 1: despite all the challenges, we will rise. If you're interested

1386
01:13:57,640 --> 01:14:01,320
Speaker 1: in joining the Mandy money Makers community and having that

1387
01:14:01,360 --> 01:14:04,400
Speaker 1: support to bolster you and help you tap back into

1388
01:14:04,479 --> 01:14:06,960
Speaker 1: your magic so that you can lead your career with

1389
01:14:07,040 --> 01:14:11,479
Speaker 1: intention and heart and your own intuition, trusting that again,

1390
01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:15,120
Speaker 1: please join us. You can find information in the show

1391
01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:19,000
Speaker 1: notes of today's episodes, or go to mandymoney dot com

1392
01:14:19,040 --> 01:14:23,200
Speaker 1: slash community. That's Mandy m A n d I money

1393
01:14:23,439 --> 01:14:27,080
Speaker 1: dot com slash community. I would love to see y'all there.

1394
01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:31,559
Speaker 1: Enrollment is open, so please go check out mandymoney dot

1395
01:14:31,560 --> 01:14:33,280
Speaker 1: com slash community today