WEBVTT - Let your no be no

0:00:03.440 --> 0:00:06.680
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

0:00:08.920 --> 0:00:15.040
<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:21.880
<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is to let your no be no. Resist

0:00:21.960 --> 0:00:24.800
<v Speaker 1>the urge to make a bigger statement about life in

0:00:24.840 --> 0:00:29.200
<v Speaker 1>general or your own philosophy of it. This will avoid

0:00:29.400 --> 0:00:34.360
<v Speaker 1>needlessly burning bridges or creating reactions that you probably didn't

0:00:34.440 --> 0:00:40.560
<v Speaker 1>intend to create. So several years ago, I reached out

0:00:40.720 --> 0:00:44.960
<v Speaker 1>to interview someone, and this person was reasonably well known,

0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:48.879
<v Speaker 1>so I wasn't exactly expecting her to say yes, but

0:00:48.960 --> 0:00:51.760
<v Speaker 1>I was a bit surprised by the tone of the no.

0:00:53.080 --> 0:00:55.360
<v Speaker 1>What I presume was a form letter from her staff

0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:59.279
<v Speaker 1>told me that she received numerous such invitations and so

0:00:59.400 --> 0:01:02.880
<v Speaker 1>she simply could not accept and do all the wonderful

0:01:02.920 --> 0:01:06.560
<v Speaker 1>things she was doing. I guess it was supposed to

0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:09.200
<v Speaker 1>be nice, but I found the note a little bit

0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:12.360
<v Speaker 1>off putting, like they were trying to convince me that

0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:14.600
<v Speaker 1>she was a better person because she was saying no.

0:01:15.720 --> 0:01:19.200
<v Speaker 1>I think a simple no would have been fine, especially

0:01:19.200 --> 0:01:21.880
<v Speaker 1>if this note was truly going out to dozens of

0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:25.720
<v Speaker 1>people daily. I doubt I was the only one who

0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:28.720
<v Speaker 1>had this reaction to this person and her staff's attempt

0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:31.920
<v Speaker 1>to make a bigger point about priorities and schedules and

0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:36.640
<v Speaker 1>the like. Most of us don't have staffers fending people away,

0:01:37.400 --> 0:01:40.200
<v Speaker 1>but I have seen a surprising number of out of

0:01:40.200 --> 0:01:44.560
<v Speaker 1>office messages lately that makes me cringe for similar reasons.

0:01:45.760 --> 0:01:48.960
<v Speaker 1>If you think about it, and out of office message

0:01:49.000 --> 0:01:53.440
<v Speaker 1>is also a no of sorts. You are explaining why

0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:59.080
<v Speaker 1>you won't be responding immediately, and that is fine. But

0:01:59.200 --> 0:02:02.240
<v Speaker 1>it is sufficient to say that you won't respond because

0:02:02.280 --> 0:02:05.160
<v Speaker 1>you'll be away from the office until a certain date.

0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:09.880
<v Speaker 1>If you think it matters, you can say why, mostly

0:02:09.880 --> 0:02:12.920
<v Speaker 1>because people will pivot differently if you are away on

0:02:12.960 --> 0:02:16.520
<v Speaker 1>a four month parental leave versus a four day vacation.

0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:19.960
<v Speaker 1>You can also tell the person who emailed you how

0:02:20.000 --> 0:02:22.400
<v Speaker 1>they can reach someone else if you are in the

0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:26.800
<v Speaker 1>sort of business where people cover for each other. But

0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:30.320
<v Speaker 1>many messages decide to make a point about email and

0:02:30.400 --> 0:02:34.440
<v Speaker 1>work more broadly, like I am taking a well deserved

0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:38.240
<v Speaker 1>vacation with my family, I encourage you to take some

0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:42.080
<v Speaker 1>time away from email as well, or we all need

0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:45.799
<v Speaker 1>to disconnect from time to time. As much as I

0:02:45.840 --> 0:02:49.480
<v Speaker 1>agree with that statement, if you just sent an email

0:02:49.560 --> 0:02:52.520
<v Speaker 1>with a question about last year's quarterly report. It is

0:02:52.600 --> 0:02:57.720
<v Speaker 1>kind of annoying. You didn't want moralizing or a sermon.

0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:01.760
<v Speaker 1>You didn't ask for someone opinion on work life balance.

0:03:02.760 --> 0:03:06.480
<v Speaker 1>You just asked for some information, and you need to

0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:09.680
<v Speaker 1>know that you won't be getting it through this channel quickly.

0:03:11.240 --> 0:03:13.360
<v Speaker 1>In general, when you say no to things, that is

0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:19.040
<v Speaker 1>best to just say no long explanations or sharing your

0:03:19.080 --> 0:03:23.960
<v Speaker 1>opinion about broader topics, risks causing offense where it probably

0:03:24.040 --> 0:03:28.560
<v Speaker 1>wasn't intended. You can say no for all sorts of reasons,

0:03:29.200 --> 0:03:32.120
<v Speaker 1>and you often don't really need to state the reason.

0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:36.680
<v Speaker 1>A simple script you can use is thank you for asking.

0:03:37.360 --> 0:03:39.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry I won't be able to take this on,

0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:44.040
<v Speaker 1>but I wish you the best of luck with the project. Definitely,

0:03:44.120 --> 0:03:46.560
<v Speaker 1>don't try to make people think that you're no is

0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:50.040
<v Speaker 1>somehow helping them, as in if I said yes to

0:03:50.120 --> 0:03:53.320
<v Speaker 1>request like yours, I wouldn't be able to do X, Y,

0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:57.040
<v Speaker 1>and Z wonderful thing. Just let your no be no,

0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:03.600
<v Speaker 1>and everyone can move on with their lives. In the meantime.

0:04:04.640 --> 0:04:09.200
<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making

0:04:09.200 --> 0:04:18.839
<v Speaker 1>the moose of our times. Hey everybody, I'd love to

0:04:18.880 --> 0:04:21.839
<v Speaker 1>hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,

0:04:21.960 --> 0:04:25.680
<v Speaker 1>or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook

0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:31.280
<v Speaker 1>and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod. That's b the number four,

0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:35.320
<v Speaker 1>then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me

0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:39.000
<v Speaker 1>an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media

0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:41.720
<v Speaker 1>dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all

0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:44.240
<v Speaker 1>the letters. Thanks so much, should I look forward to

0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:52.520
<v Speaker 1>staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I

0:04:52.640 --> 0:04:56.520
<v Speaker 1>heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit

0:04:56.560 --> 0:04:59.880
<v Speaker 1>the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:09.600
<v Speaker 1>listen to your favorite shows. Yeah m