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Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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Speaker 1: Today's tip is to let your no be no. Resist

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Speaker 1: the urge to make a bigger statement about life in

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Speaker 1: general or your own philosophy of it. This will avoid

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Speaker 1: needlessly burning bridges or creating reactions that you probably didn't

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Speaker 1: intend to create. So several years ago, I reached out

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Speaker 1: to interview someone, and this person was reasonably well known,

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Speaker 1: so I wasn't exactly expecting her to say yes, but

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Speaker 1: I was a bit surprised by the tone of the no.

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Speaker 1: What I presume was a form letter from her staff

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Speaker 1: told me that she received numerous such invitations and so

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Speaker 1: she simply could not accept and do all the wonderful

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Speaker 1: things she was doing. I guess it was supposed to

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Speaker 1: be nice, but I found the note a little bit

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Speaker 1: off putting, like they were trying to convince me that

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Speaker 1: she was a better person because she was saying no.

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Speaker 1: I think a simple no would have been fine, especially

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Speaker 1: if this note was truly going out to dozens of

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Speaker 1: people daily. I doubt I was the only one who

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Speaker 1: had this reaction to this person and her staff's attempt

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Speaker 1: to make a bigger point about priorities and schedules and

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Speaker 1: the like. Most of us don't have staffers fending people away,

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Speaker 1: but I have seen a surprising number of out of

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Speaker 1: office messages lately that makes me cringe for similar reasons.

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Speaker 1: If you think about it, and out of office message

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Speaker 1: is also a no of sorts. You are explaining why

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Speaker 1: you won't be responding immediately, and that is fine. But

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Speaker 1: it is sufficient to say that you won't respond because

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Speaker 1: you'll be away from the office until a certain date.

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Speaker 1: If you think it matters, you can say why, mostly

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Speaker 1: because people will pivot differently if you are away on

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Speaker 1: a four month parental leave versus a four day vacation.

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Speaker 1: You can also tell the person who emailed you how

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Speaker 1: they can reach someone else if you are in the

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Speaker 1: sort of business where people cover for each other. But

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Speaker 1: many messages decide to make a point about email and

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Speaker 1: work more broadly, like I am taking a well deserved

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Speaker 1: vacation with my family, I encourage you to take some

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Speaker 1: time away from email as well, or we all need

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Speaker 1: to disconnect from time to time. As much as I

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Speaker 1: agree with that statement, if you just sent an email

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Speaker 1: with a question about last year's quarterly report. It is

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Speaker 1: kind of annoying. You didn't want moralizing or a sermon.

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Speaker 1: You didn't ask for someone opinion on work life balance.

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Speaker 1: You just asked for some information, and you need to

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Speaker 1: know that you won't be getting it through this channel quickly.

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Speaker 1: In general, when you say no to things, that is

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Speaker 1: best to just say no long explanations or sharing your

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Speaker 1: opinion about broader topics, risks causing offense where it probably

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Speaker 1: wasn't intended. You can say no for all sorts of reasons,

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Speaker 1: and you often don't really need to state the reason.

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Speaker 1: A simple script you can use is thank you for asking.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry I won't be able to take this on,

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Speaker 1: but I wish you the best of luck with the project. Definitely,

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Speaker 1: don't try to make people think that you're no is

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Speaker 1: somehow helping them, as in if I said yes to

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Speaker 1: request like yours, I wouldn't be able to do X, Y,

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Speaker 1: and Z wonderful thing. Just let your no be no,

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Speaker 1: and everyone can move on with their lives. In the meantime.

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Speaker 1: This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making

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Speaker 1: the moose of our times. Hey everybody, I'd love to

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Speaker 1: hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,

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Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook

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Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod. That's b the number four,

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Speaker 1: then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me

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Speaker 1: an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media

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Speaker 1: dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all

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Speaker 1: the letters. Thanks so much, should I look forward to

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Speaker 1: staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I

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Speaker 1: heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit

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Speaker 1: the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

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Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows. Yeah m