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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, where we

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Speaker 1: discuss all things mental health, personal development, and all the

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Speaker 1: small decisions we can make to become the best possible

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Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Harden Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information

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Speaker 1: and resources, visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls

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Speaker 1: dot com. And while I hope you love listening to

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Speaker 1: and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to

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Speaker 1: be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental

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Speaker 1: health professional. Hey y'all, thanks so much for joining me

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Speaker 1: for session twenty six of the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast.

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Speaker 1: In September of every year, we mark National Suicide Prevention Month.

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Speaker 1: During this month, you will see lots of special events

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Speaker 1: and UM more close attention paid to getting the word

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Speaker 1: out about how we can prevent suicide in our communities,

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Speaker 1: and so I definitely thought it was fitting to UM

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Speaker 1: in this month talking about suicide prevention, talking with you

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Speaker 1: all about UM some of the risk factors and warning

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Speaker 1: signs for suicide, as well as addressing the top five

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Speaker 1: myths I often see related to suicide. So the first

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Speaker 1: information I want to share with you. Is taken from

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Speaker 1: the website for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, and

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Speaker 1: this article talks about the risk factors and warning signs

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Speaker 1: of suicide, so it starts off talking about what leads

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Speaker 1: to suicide. There's no single cause for suicide. Suicide most

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Speaker 1: often occurs when stressors exceed current coping abilities of someone

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Speaker 1: suffering from a mental health condition. Depression is the most

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Speaker 1: common condition associated with suicide, and it is often undiagnosed

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Speaker 1: or untrue you did. Conditions like depression, anxiety, and substance problems,

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Speaker 1: especially when unaddressed, increase the risk for suicide. It is, however,

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Speaker 1: important to note that most people who actively manage their

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Speaker 1: mental health conditions lead fulfilling lives. So some of the

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Speaker 1: things that you want to be on the lookout for, um,

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Speaker 1: you know, and most of this will be talking about

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Speaker 1: if you notice some of this in a friend, right, UM,

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Speaker 1: so definitely you know, paying attention to these warning signs

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Speaker 1: for yourselves. But most times, UM, friends and other loved

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Speaker 1: ones can see these signs in us before we're able

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Speaker 1: to see it for ourselves. So I really want you

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Speaker 1: to pay attention to any of the warning signs you

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Speaker 1: may see in your friends so. One of the first

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Speaker 1: categories related to warning signs or um related to what

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Speaker 1: the person is talking about, so you will often hear

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Speaker 1: them talking about feeling like they're a burden to other people,

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Speaker 1: feeling like are trapped, They talk about experiencing unbearable pain,

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Speaker 1: feeling like they have no reason to live, and they

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Speaker 1: will sometimes explicitly talk about killing themselves. Another category of

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Speaker 1: things that you want to be on the lookout for

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Speaker 1: our behaviors um SO things like increased use of alcohol

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Speaker 1: a drugs, looking for a way to kill themselves such

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Speaker 1: as searching online for materials or means, acting recklessly, withdrawing

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Speaker 1: from activities, isolating from family and friends, sleeping too much

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Speaker 1: or too little, visiting or calling people to say goodbye,

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Speaker 1: giving away prize possessions, and aggressions and aggression I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: A third category that you want to look at is

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Speaker 1: things related to their mood um SO. People who are

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Speaker 1: considering suicide often display one or more of the following

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Speaker 1: moods depression, loss of interest, rage, irritability, humiliate, and anxiety.

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Speaker 1: Some of the risk factors associated with suicides or risk

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Speaker 1: factors are things that increase the likelihood that someone might

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Speaker 1: try to take their life. So some of the risk

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Speaker 1: factors that are included UM related to suicide include mental

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Speaker 1: health conditions like we talked about, things like depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia,

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Speaker 1: borderline or antisocial personality disorder, conduct disorder, psychotic disorders, or

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Speaker 1: psychotic symptoms in the context of any other disorder, substance

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Speaker 1: abuse disorders, and serious or chronic health conditions or pain.

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Speaker 1: Some of the environmental factors that can be risk factors

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Speaker 1: associated with suicide include stressful life events which may include death, divorce,

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Speaker 1: or job laws. Prolonged stress factors which may include harassment, bullying,

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Speaker 1: relationship problems are unemployment, access to lethal means including fire

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Speaker 1: arms and drugs, exposure to another persons suicide, ortographic or

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Speaker 1: sensationalized accounts of suicide. And the final category of risk

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Speaker 1: factors that may need to be considered include historical factors,

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Speaker 1: so if they have had UM exposure to a previous

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Speaker 1: suicide attempts, so if the person has attempted suicide in

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Speaker 1: the past, that increases the likelihood that they may attempt

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Speaker 1: again in the future, as well as a family history

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Speaker 1: of suicide attempts, so if they have knowledge of or

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Speaker 1: witnessed a family member die by suicide, then that increases

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Speaker 1: the likelihood that they may also, UM feel suicidal at

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Speaker 1: some point. So I want to move on then to

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Speaker 1: talk about UM the top five myths that I often

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Speaker 1: hear related to suicide, because I think, UM, you know,

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Speaker 1: there's still a lot of education that we need to do,

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Speaker 1: a lot of learning more about, UM, what happens when

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Speaker 1: some one feels suicidal, and how we can best help,

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Speaker 1: and so I wanted to address some of the things

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Speaker 1: that I often hear UM that come up around suicide.

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Speaker 1: So the very first one is that black people don't

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Speaker 1: die by suicide. UM. So while the numbers are UM

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Speaker 1: lower than for other populations. So UM white men are

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Speaker 1: historically UM the demographic most likely to die by suicide,

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Speaker 1: but that does not mean that those numbers for us

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Speaker 1: don't exist. So black people and black women specifically have

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Speaker 1: the lowest rates of dying by suicide. But again, it

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Speaker 1: definitely is something that we need to be paying attention to.

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Speaker 1: So in two thousand and fourteen, there was a lot

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Speaker 1: of attention paid to suicide after we UM suffered the

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Speaker 1: loss of two very high profile black women who died

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Speaker 1: by suicide. Karen Washington, who was the creator of the

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Speaker 1: Fight for Brown Girls and the Dark Skinned Red Lip Project,

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Speaker 1: and T. T. Branch, who was one half of the

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Speaker 1: popular natural haircare brand Miss Jesse's. So their death sparked

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Speaker 1: months of discussion about the need to pay attention to

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Speaker 1: our mental health and how often Black women suffer in

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Speaker 1: silence related to mental health concerns. You may have also

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Speaker 1: recently seen articles um that talk about how suicide rates

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Speaker 1: doubled between nine and two thousand and thirteen for black

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Speaker 1: youth between the ages of five and eleven. Additionally, suicide

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Speaker 1: it's now the third leading cause of death for young

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Speaker 1: Black people between the ages of fifteen and twenty four.

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Speaker 1: So again the numbers may not be as high, but

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Speaker 1: it does seem like they are on the rise, and

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Speaker 1: this is something that we definitely need to be paying

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Speaker 1: attention to and talking about in our communities. The second

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Speaker 1: man related to suicide is that it is the ultimate

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Speaker 1: act of selfishness. So many of us who have not

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Speaker 1: had significant depressive symptoms are have felt the incredible despair

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Speaker 1: that typically accompanies the decision to ends one life. Really

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Speaker 1: can't connect, can't relate at all to what it would

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Speaker 1: feel like to want to end your life, and so

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Speaker 1: when we say things like suicide is completely selfish and

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Speaker 1: why wouldn't they think of the people they're leaving behind,

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Speaker 1: it's because we cannot connect to the feelings and the

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Speaker 1: mood that someone typically has when they make the decision

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Speaker 1: to end their life. And it's important to remember that

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Speaker 1: at this point, at the point where someone has decided

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Speaker 1: they want to end their life, people often feel like

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Speaker 1: they're a burden on their family and friends. They feel

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Speaker 1: like everyone, including themselves, would be better off if they

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Speaker 1: just no longer existed. They often don't see a way

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Speaker 1: through or out of the pain, and they feel like

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Speaker 1: this is the only way to deal with it. So

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Speaker 1: the number two myth related to suicide is that suicide

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Speaker 1: is the most selfish act that can occur. The third

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Speaker 1: myth related to suicide is that asking if someone is

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Speaker 1: suicidal makes them suicidal. So this is definitely not true,

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Speaker 1: and I can assure you that someone who has not

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Speaker 1: felt suicidal in the past will not become suicidal simply

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Speaker 1: because you ask them about it. Oftentimes, when we don't ask,

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Speaker 1: this in some ways indicates that you can't handle your

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Speaker 1: friends sharing this level of pain. With you, and it

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Speaker 1: communicates that this is something that needs to be kept private,

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Speaker 1: that needs to be a secret, which is absolutely not

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Speaker 1: what we want to have happened. If someone is actually

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Speaker 1: feeling suicidal, right we want them to be open and

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Speaker 1: honest with us so that we can get them connected

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Speaker 1: to the help that they need. The fourth myth related

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Speaker 1: to suicide is that people pretend to attempt suicide for attention,

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Speaker 1: and it's really important that we take all attempts at

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Speaker 1: ending one's life seri siously, and even if someone doesn't

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Speaker 1: necessarily intend to kill themselves, I think that an attempt

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Speaker 1: is still a signal that something larger is going on

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Speaker 1: and that we need to get them connected to professional help.

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Speaker 1: Um So I don't think that we can um kind

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Speaker 1: of hedge our bets about whether somebody was serious about

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Speaker 1: taking their life versus looking for attention, because I think

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Speaker 1: any attempt at hurting yourself is a signal that something

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Speaker 1: bigger is going on. The fifth myth related to suicide

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Speaker 1: is that people who are suicidal always look depressed, and

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Speaker 1: this is definitely not always the case. So sometimes a

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Speaker 1: person who has decided to end their life will actually

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Speaker 1: have a bit of an improved mood in the days

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Speaker 1: before their suicide because they're at peace with their decision.

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Speaker 1: They finally decided how they are going to UM get

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Speaker 1: rid of the pain that they have been experiencing, and

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Speaker 1: so you will often are not often, you will sometimes

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Speaker 1: see that a person who has decided to in their

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Speaker 1: life will have a bit of an improved mood. So

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Speaker 1: we saw this recently when Chester Bennington's widow to Linda,

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Speaker 1: released a video of him laughing and joking with his

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Speaker 1: family just days before he died by suicide, and she

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Speaker 1: wanted to help share light on the fact that depression

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Speaker 1: and suicidality don't only look one way. So we have

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Speaker 1: UM seen more articles coming out talking about like people

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Speaker 1: with high functioning depression UM so people who look pretty

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Speaker 1: put together and like everything is fine on the outside

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Speaker 1: and they are actually really struggling on the inside. Also

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Speaker 1: included in the show notes will be resources for UM

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Speaker 1: people who made me experiencing suicidal thoughts or UM. If

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Speaker 1: you have friends who you know have struggled with this,

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Speaker 1: you will be able to pass along this information. UM.

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Speaker 1: There are both numbers that you can call as well

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Speaker 1: as a crisis text line that you can use to

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Speaker 1: make sure to pay attention to that information in the

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Speaker 1: show notes. You can find that at Therapy for Black

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Speaker 1: Girls dot Com slash Session twenty six. So we also

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Speaker 1: have an on the porch question today, and this question

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Speaker 1: is related to UM asking for tips on how to

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Speaker 1: deal with co workers and Facebook and Twitter friends who

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Speaker 1: continue to share UM like racist comments UM making you know.

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Speaker 1: Most recently, of course, we've seen more commentary around NFL

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Speaker 1: players kneeling during the national anthem, um you know. And

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Speaker 1: of course this has caused an uptick in people kind

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Speaker 1: of sharing their thoughts and opinions about these things on

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Speaker 1: social media. And so this listener wanted some tips for

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Speaker 1: how to deal with um these kinds of things on

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Speaker 1: Facebook or with co workers. So I think the very

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Speaker 1: first thing we need to do is to ask ourselves,

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Speaker 1: does this really matter? Or can I just unfollow or

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Speaker 1: unfriend this person? So I think many of us, UM

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Speaker 1: feel really hopeless about what's going on in the world

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Speaker 1: right now. UM really feel hopeless about the level of

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Speaker 1: hatred and disrespect that's being displayed. And I think sometimes

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Speaker 1: we think that arguing with these trolls and these people

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Speaker 1: online is actually a productive use of our time. And

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Speaker 1: it's not. UM. I think it it makes us feel

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Speaker 1: like we're doing something, and it makes us feel like

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Speaker 1: we're trying to educate people, And I think that it

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Speaker 1: typically comes from a good place. But I really want

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Speaker 1: you to consider whether that is the best use of

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Speaker 1: your time. UM. I personally don't know anyone who's changed

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Speaker 1: a racist person's mind with a single tweet or a

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Speaker 1: Facebook status. Now, if you have success stories of when

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Speaker 1: this has happened for you or someone you know, then

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Speaker 1: I definitely would love to hear that. But I think

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Speaker 1: typically you're not going to change someone's mind through social

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Speaker 1: media UM contacts, especially publicly right UM now. I think

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Speaker 1: it may be different if you are having like a

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Speaker 1: messenger or a d M conversation with someone where you

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Speaker 1: are kind of going back and forth UM about, you know,

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Speaker 1: an exchange of ideas and kind of sharing what why

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Speaker 1: you think that person's UM message or UM status update

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Speaker 1: was offensive. I think you may be able to make

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Speaker 1: some ground if you have that conversation privately, but publicly

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Speaker 1: where other people are kind of chiming in and you know,

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Speaker 1: everybody's kind of watching, I think it's pretty unlikely that

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Speaker 1: you're going to change someone's mind, So I do want

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Speaker 1: you to consider whether that is actually a worthwhile use

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Speaker 1: of your time. The second thing I want you to

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Speaker 1: consider if this person is actually a coworker, is to

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Speaker 1: make sure that you are documenting everything. UM. So that

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Speaker 1: includes screenshots, um, you know, printing off things if you

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Speaker 1: need to, from your social media accounts, so that if

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Speaker 1: you need to escalate this issue and file a complaint

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Speaker 1: or agreevance with HR, you will have all of the

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Speaker 1: documentation that you need to be able to do that.

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Speaker 1: So make sure that you're documenting everything if this person

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Speaker 1: is a coworker. And then the third thing I think

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Speaker 1: you should consider is taking a social media break. UM.

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Speaker 1: And I know you'll probably get how to hear me

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Speaker 1: say that it feels like I give that as an

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Speaker 1: answer for a lot of things, but I think, UM,

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Speaker 1: in in a lot of cases it's really needed, especially

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Speaker 1: because we are so connected to um kind of constant

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Speaker 1: news and updates throughout social media accounts. So I think

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Speaker 1: in a lot of cases, social media break is actually warranted. UM.

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Speaker 1: I think if you find yourself getting too round up

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Speaker 1: with calm means that other people are making it may

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Speaker 1: be a good sign that it is time to take

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Speaker 1: a break and perhaps find another way of getting involved

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Speaker 1: or completely disconnecting from whatever this event or um, whatever

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Speaker 1: you were discussing online altogether. UM. So there is still

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Speaker 1: plenty of fight left to have. UM So because you

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Speaker 1: take a three day break from social media does not

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Speaker 1: mean that there won't still be work for you to

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Speaker 1: do when you get back. But I think you sometimes

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Speaker 1: have to step away to kind of gain some perspective

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Speaker 1: and some clarity so that you can come back to

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Speaker 1: a situation, UM you know, ready to kind of do

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Speaker 1: the work that we need to continue to do so

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Speaker 1: that we are continuing to fight for equality and justice.

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Speaker 1: So I hope that helps. UM. If you have other

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Speaker 1: strategies or tips that you've used to deal with racist

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Speaker 1: trolls and angry coworkers UM on your social media accounts,

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Speaker 1: then definitely share those with the other audience member. Make

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Speaker 1: sure you use the hashtag TBG in sessions so that

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Speaker 1: people can keep up with that. And if you have

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Speaker 1: any questions that you would like some feedback about our

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Speaker 1: topic that you would like some more information about, make

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Speaker 1: sure to send those over to me at podcasts at

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Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls dot com and please do let

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Speaker 1: me know your thoughts about the episode. UM, if there

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Speaker 1: are other warning signs you think that people should be

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Speaker 1: on the lookout for related to suicide, or the myths

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Speaker 1: that you have heard related to suicide, or or misinformation

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Speaker 1: you think that's out there that we need to clear up,

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Speaker 1: make sure to UM send that over to me on

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Speaker 1: social media so that we can kind of get that

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Speaker 1: taken care of and make sure that we're getting the

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Speaker 1: correct information out there related to suicide prevention. We all

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Speaker 1: have a part in this work, and I think that

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Speaker 1: it's important for us to be paying attention and kind

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Speaker 1: of looking out for one another. So do make sure

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Speaker 1: that you are following us on all social media accounts. UM.

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Speaker 1: On Twitter you can find us that Therapy war the

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Speaker 1: number four be Girls, and on Instagram and Facebook you

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Speaker 1: can find us at Therapy for Black Girls. If you

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Speaker 1: are looking for a therapist in your area, make sure

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Speaker 1: to check out the directory at Therapy for Black Girls

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Speaker 1: dot com backslash directory. And again, please make sure that

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Speaker 1: you are using the hashtag on social media so that

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Speaker 1: we can all be a part of the conversation. The

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Speaker 1: hashtag again is TBG in session. I'm looking forward to

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Speaker 1: continue in this conversation with you all real soon Take

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Speaker 1: good care. Five