WEBVTT - Did Knights Really Wear Suits of Armor? 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:27.840 Ridiculous Histories, a production of iHeartRadio. Welcome back to the show, 0:00:27.880 --> 0:00:31.080 fellow Ridiculous Historians. Thank you, as always so much for 0:00:31.240 --> 0:00:34.239 tuning in. Let's hear it for our own Night in 0:00:34.960 --> 0:00:37.920 Shining production Armor producer Max. 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:45.120 It is Max Williams Day, I Love. 0:00:45.080 --> 0:00:47.519 I Love James Williams, the. 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:52.240 Third junior Senior Did you get esquire? Sure? And a 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:53.760 doctor in there as well, Yeah. 0:00:53.760 --> 0:00:57.760 Vaughan something also, that's mister Noel Brown, the one and only. 0:00:58.320 --> 0:01:02.920 So Max, You're dubbed diploma mud and uh you've got 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:05.959 your PhD. 0:01:07.280 --> 0:01:10.959 And they called me ben Bully tax purposes here, guys, 0:01:11.080 --> 0:01:13.399 have you ever been to Medieval Times? Well? 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:15.120 I did once travel back in time. 0:01:15.160 --> 0:01:17.399 I woke up in it from a dream and I 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:20.920 found myself in in a in a in some sort 0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:21.480 of dungeon. 0:01:22.160 --> 0:01:23.640 No, that's not true. I made that up. 0:01:23.640 --> 0:01:26.479 But I have not actually been to the restaurant, the 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:30.720 themed restaurant and attraction Medieval Times. The only experience I 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:33.080 have of it, frankly, is from the movie The Cable Guy. 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:39.040 Okay, yeah, my interaction is just knowing Jonathan Strickland renaissantly. 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:42.800 Okay, what wouldn't you agree? Though? 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:45.600 Ben if If we've been to a Renaissance festival, we've 0:01:45.600 --> 0:01:48.320 more or less had the Medieval times experience, short of 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:51.240 the crappier food at medieval times, because we can all 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:53.360 argue that ren rent fair food pretty good. 0:01:53.720 --> 0:01:56.360 Yeah, of course, those carneies know what they're doing. 0:01:56.440 --> 0:01:59.680 Those carnies and those carnivores. All them turkey legs. 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:03.360 Oh man, I gotta say. I took some of the 0:02:03.880 --> 0:02:07.000 friends of ours out for a group field trip to 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:13.520 the Renaissance Festival, and my girlfriend and I completely overestimated 0:02:13.600 --> 0:02:16.600 the nostalgia factor. So we each got a turkey leg. 0:02:16.880 --> 0:02:19.519 Those turkey legs are so big. Those are two people 0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:20.600 turkey legs. 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:21.600 And it's weird some of them. 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:24.040 Maybe it's like on a per turkey leg basis, or 0:02:24.040 --> 0:02:26.000 maybe this is a feature of every turkey leg. 0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:29.320 They got this real weird flap of like tend any 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:30.000 stuff in them. 0:02:30.080 --> 0:02:31.200 Oh yeah, yeah, it kind of. 0:02:31.120 --> 0:02:34.200 Pulls out like like a little like a feather, like. 0:02:34.160 --> 0:02:37.920 Yeah, like a record. Yeah, there's got to be a 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:38.760 science name for that. 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:45.000 There is, hopefully, you guys outside, we we do have 0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:48.519 We've been thinking about this. We've been thinking about, uh, 0:02:48.639 --> 0:02:52.919 the the iconic image of nights in Shining Armor because 0:02:53.000 --> 0:02:58.320 as round tables, lances of lots, uh, there's no shortage 0:02:58.440 --> 0:03:02.760 of fascinating painting work of works of literature and film 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:04.399 and TV now like Game. 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:06.720 Of Thrones, Monty Python and The Holy Grail. Is how 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:09.160 I know anything about the medieval time at all? 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:11.880 Frankly, yeah, 'tis but a scratch shout out to the 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:15.800 knights and knee. But no. You recall how these things 0:03:16.000 --> 0:03:21.400 always depict these absolute warriors who were plated up like 0:03:21.720 --> 0:03:25.919 little mech like mechs, dude, and they're they're doing all 0:03:25.960 --> 0:03:29.440 sorts of crazy physical stunts and all kinds of punishing 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:30.320 weather and. 0:03:30.320 --> 0:03:34.440 Yirling around those flaily thingies, the morning Stars, the Evening Star, 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:35.520 morning Stars. 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:38.280 Morning Star, You nailed the line. And then they fight, 0:03:38.600 --> 0:03:41.960 despite the fact that they're carrying hundreds of pounds of 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:46.640 armor on them. They fight for hours against anybody and 0:03:46.960 --> 0:03:51.160 they You watch this and at some point right during 0:03:51.280 --> 0:03:55.200 a battle scene, you have to say, wouldn't most modern 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:59.720 people collapse after just a short period of even running 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:00.880 or walking briskly? 0:04:01.040 --> 0:04:03.600 Well, because unlike the mechs ben, these don't have any 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:06.960 exoskeletal robo attachments. 0:04:07.480 --> 0:04:09.360 This is a burden born by humans. 0:04:09.560 --> 0:04:11.760 And yes, you know, because you've got to think there 0:04:11.760 --> 0:04:14.320 are different situations where this kind of armor might have 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:17.080 been employed. The medieval times of it all being the 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:20.640 attorneys a little more you know, controlled, and then of 0:04:20.680 --> 0:04:25.520 course you got folks literally charging into battle against you know, 0:04:25.600 --> 0:04:27.960 an opponent that's out there to murder them. 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:32.880 Right, Yeah, And that's our question today. Did knights really 0:04:32.960 --> 0:04:43.920 wear suits of armor? To get into this? We were 0:04:44.000 --> 0:04:49.120 talking a little bit about sports off air. One interesting 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:55.520 thing about football is that there's very little protective gear soccer, 0:04:55.560 --> 0:04:58.800 I mean football, yeah, with shint guards is the one 0:04:58.800 --> 0:05:00.440 that I always remember from being youth. 0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:02.960 Do they still wear shin guards? Is that part of 0:05:03.000 --> 0:05:03.240 the kit? 0:05:04.520 --> 0:05:07.440 I don't know. But there's a great show by our 0:05:07.440 --> 0:05:12.200 pal Miles called Ain't It Footy which is examining examining 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:17.080 football when we're talking about armor. What's interesting, guys, is 0:05:17.120 --> 0:05:23.760 that for most of early human history, humanity was wrestling 0:05:23.960 --> 0:05:27.720 with this huge life threatening dilemma. They were the smartest 0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:31.280 creatures they knew, and the humans evolved to specialize in 0:05:31.360 --> 0:05:35.760 various things like running long distances persistence hunting, But all 0:05:35.800 --> 0:05:40.760 that specialization comes with a price. Humans don't have a 0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:44.040 protective shell like a turtle or an armadillo. They can't 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:48.680 regenerate limbs like some lizards or other creatures. Humans are 0:05:49.279 --> 0:05:52.360 bestified as squishy. 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:55.560 Yeah, they are perishable creatures. 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:59.160 They are dainty, delicate little flowers. For sure. We don't 0:05:59.160 --> 0:06:00.240 do well under. 0:06:01.600 --> 0:06:04.679 So if you don't have a shell, if you don't 0:06:04.720 --> 0:06:11.120 have a great powerful maw of sharp teeth, if you 0:06:11.160 --> 0:06:14.640 can't regenerate limbs, you have to rely on your tool 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:18.279 making abilities to make up for all the stuff you lack. 0:06:18.480 --> 0:06:22.560 Yeah, I mean, the human superpower or ultimate adaptive capability 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:25.440 would be the brain, the ability to reason, the ability 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:28.120 to think about thinking and figure this stuff out to 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:30.799 you know, improve their situation. 0:06:30.800 --> 0:06:34.640 One hundred percent, dude. And this is why we find 0:06:34.680 --> 0:06:39.520 it no surprise that body armor is an ancient human invention. 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:42.840 The first records of something like body armor as opposed 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:47.279 to you know, regular clothing is found in ancient sue Mare, 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:52.120 in ancient Samaria, in today's Southern Rock. And then if 0:06:52.120 --> 0:06:56.360 you fast forward to like fourteen hundred BCE, you see 0:06:56.520 --> 0:06:59.760 the emergence of something like heavy plate armor, usually like 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:02.240 a chest plate, just the one kind of like how 0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:03.920 you would see a bulletproof vest today. 0:07:05.000 --> 0:07:06.680 Yeah, you know what, I'm always fascinated by her. 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:09.200 When I think about like history of armor, I just 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:11.200 think about the kind of stuff that those kids wore 0:07:11.200 --> 0:07:14.160 in the movie Hook, you know, like pecis of wood, 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:17.600 you know, various little tracks that they find lying around 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:21.040 leather under carriages, you know, I mean I think that 0:07:21.160 --> 0:07:24.920 was sort of really the earliest form of ballistic protection 0:07:25.120 --> 0:07:29.120 would be just real sturdy hide and the material. 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:33.679 Way more common than the armor that you see in films. 0:07:33.760 --> 0:07:36.040 We know, of course, shout out to the Far East. 0:07:36.080 --> 0:07:38.559 We know those folks had a deep history of armor 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:43.520 because again they realized factory setting human skin is pretty vulnerable. 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:47.120 That's why we invent in clothing right in each of 0:07:47.160 --> 0:07:49.840 these cases. And I know you love this concept. We 0:07:49.920 --> 0:07:54.160 see parallel thinking. It depends the armor they make, depends 0:07:54.160 --> 0:07:58.880 on the material resources and the crafting techniques that their 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:02.520 arbors had at the time. So it's interesting, and shout 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:07.080 out to our research associate Jabari. It's interesting to think 0:08:07.160 --> 0:08:12.880 that if we took a blacksmith from medieval Europe and 0:08:13.040 --> 0:08:16.920 showed him armor from far Japan or from China, he 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:20.480 would be fascinated by the different materials. He'd be fascinated 0:08:20.520 --> 0:08:24.480 by the manufacturing, but he would immediately know exactly what 0:08:24.560 --> 0:08:27.440 he was looking at because he was making the same 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:28.160 stuff too. Well. 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:30.400 I mean, this is the kind of parallel thinking that 0:08:30.600 --> 0:08:33.920 doesn't isn't doesn't require too much of elite because, as 0:08:33.920 --> 0:08:37.640 you said, man, humans are inherently squishy creatures, and it 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:41.680 is a very self serving and pretty intuitive idea to 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:44.320 what if we could protect ourselves from getting squished? 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:49.720 Exactly. Yeah, And our hypothetical Blacksmith here is, you know, 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:52.960 the odds are stacked in his favor because armor is 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:53.760 human shaped. 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:56.800 Oh, I mean, gosh. Another one, yes, percent. Another one 0:08:56.840 --> 0:09:00.440 that comes to mind is there is a segment in 0:09:00.640 --> 0:09:08.400 the incredibly delightful Cohen Brothers anthology film was It Buster Scruggs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:09:08.520 --> 0:09:13.440 where Stephen Root, the delightful character actor who plays like 0:09:13.520 --> 0:09:16.800 a banker who's being robbed by I want to say, 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:21.319 James Franco just pre cancelation. He emerges from behind the 0:09:22.440 --> 0:09:25.800 cash counter covered in pots and pans, you know, yeah, 0:09:25.920 --> 0:09:28.240 And it's just like this stuff could have been improvised 0:09:28.320 --> 0:09:30.640 so many ways, just by stuff that was laying around, 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:33.320 and it's just such a like human instinct to be like, 0:09:33.400 --> 0:09:36.000 how do I kind of turtle up and protect myself? 0:09:36.960 --> 0:09:42.240 And another thing that would astonish our hypothetical blacksmith would 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:46.439 be the sheer cost of this heavy fit. That's that's 0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:48.240 where we get to the myth busting. And that's why 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:52.880 I think you're right about people mcguvery more often than 0:09:52.920 --> 0:09:57.560 they manufactured. You know, like we all remember those films 0:09:57.880 --> 0:10:03.320 where we all know how Hollywood loves to spotlight military 0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:07.480 dress and huge battle scenes. You got kitted out nights. 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:14.880 They're charging toward the enemy on horses, They're waving their lances, screaming, treating, yeah, yeah, 0:10:14.960 --> 0:10:19.480 hootin and such. That stuff definitely did happen, but it 0:10:19.600 --> 0:10:22.960 was nowhere near as glamorous as the films imply for sure. 0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:24.920 And if you do get a chance, I know we 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:27.360 always are shouting out the met in New York City. 0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:30.720 There's a wing of that massive place that is all 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:33.600 just like medieval armor, and you're gonna see a range 0:10:33.640 --> 0:10:39.280 of stuff, including the much more elaborate, fearsome, looking for 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:42.080 lack of a better word, at the moment, ceremonial kind 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:44.280 of stuff. Oh, it would have maybe been designed to 0:10:44.360 --> 0:10:48.200 be worn by a king, or to designate some higher 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:51.840 level figure who maybe wasn't necessarily going to be out 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:55.439 there swinging the sword, but needed to look the part. 0:10:56.040 --> 0:10:59.400 Yeah, you know, it's weird too, because now you mentioned that. 0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:02.440 One thing that always bugged me in the world of 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:06.200 rap and hip hop would be when more conservative folks 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:09.920 would criticize an album cover that shows, maybe shows a 0:11:09.920 --> 0:11:13.200 guy with a bunch of chains, gold chains on his neck, 0:11:13.400 --> 0:11:15.360 and he's holding a couple of guns and he's got 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:19.040 a pile of cash. That's exactly what those portraits were like. 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:22.719 Yeah, oh goshde only it was more like. 0:11:23.280 --> 0:11:28.360 A sword, some sword coal, perhaps maybe a giant roast 0:11:28.360 --> 0:11:32.000 beast of some sort, and piled up coins and perhaps 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:33.800 a damsel of some variety. 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:36.280 And of course, yeah, those suits are part of the 0:11:36.360 --> 0:11:38.000 flex because and often. 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:41.000 A very skinny looking wayfish dog. Yes, weird. 0:11:41.080 --> 0:11:44.559 For some reason, I always like to picture the great 0:11:44.720 --> 0:11:48.880 masters of art back in the day saying, uh, well, 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:50.760 we can add one more thing in the corner. And 0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:54.640 I'm actually pretty good at drawing this specific type of dog. 0:11:55.080 --> 0:12:01.280 Oh yeah, exactly, the wayfish, little spind So this is 0:12:01.360 --> 0:12:03.959 why it's such a flex. A full suit of armor 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:07.000 to get in your heads, ridiculous historians, the kind of 0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:11.560 armor you're thinking about right now in the fourteen hundred CE, 0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:15.520 this would have cost the equivalent of three million dollars 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:19.600 for one suit. What kind of materials are we talking about? Ben? 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:22.040 Is this made of like solid gold? 0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:27.680 So much stuff? The problem was manufacturing these things took 0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:31.920 so much time. You're essentially telling a team of very 0:12:32.000 --> 0:12:36.840 highly skilled laborers this is the rest of your year. 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:40.600 So okay, well no, it's I mean, and I know 0:12:40.600 --> 0:12:43.040 I've been nerding out on watches lately, as if you been. 0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:44.600 At least we have been together. 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:48.680 There are some companies that will produce like fifty watches 0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:53.120 a year because it is all hand machined, designed in 0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:56.080 house like and those are the ones that maybe retail 0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:59.160 might be two hundred thousand dollars, but there's so few 0:12:59.200 --> 0:13:01.800 of them that they become worth like five times that 0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:04.840 on auction or in resale, same deal. It's a matter 0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:08.000 of time, commitment, and how many of these things can 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:08.600 you pump out? 0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:10.680 These suits? And who are you working for? 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:14.000 Like, it's one thing to make stuff for the troops, 0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:16.360 for the infantry, but it's another thing to be working 0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:19.960 on these much more elaborate, high end pieces that would 0:13:20.000 --> 0:13:23.240 be for generals and top folks. 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:27.360 Yeah, especially when you think of the ornate filigrees and 0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:31.599 all the details, which is the armor version of complications 0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:32.839 and a fancy watch. 0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:36.560 You got, you got different combinations of metals. 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:39.320 You've got all these little touches that maybe absolutely are 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:42.719 gold or various precious metals mixed in with the more 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:43.520 durable stuff. 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:45.000 Yeah. I'm excited to get into this, Ben. 0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:47.880 Oh yeah, yeah, well we know, like you were saying, no, 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:52.600 most soldiers in real life, and indeed a lot of 0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:56.240 people who are technically knights, they had nothing near this stuff. 0:13:56.520 --> 0:13:59.240 They did the best with what they had a lot 0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:02.000 of times, like and pants would just like a little 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:02.640 chain mail. 0:14:02.840 --> 0:14:04.160 Maybe a chess plate. 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:06.959 If they knew the Celts. Yeah, maybe a chess plate 0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:10.880 if they had a good lord who would supply them well. 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:15.959 During the early Middle Ages, a knight's armor was basically 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:19.760 what you described earlier. It was a padded garment. They 0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:22.880 might have a simple metal helmet, they'd have a big 0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:25.760 wooden shield, and if they were lucky, it'd be reinforced 0:14:25.760 --> 0:14:29.280 with metal. Like you said, they did also use chain 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:34.640 mail because it let you move around still, and it 0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:39.200 was way better at stopping cutting weapons. But it wouldn't 0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:42.160 It wouldn't protect you against a blunt force object. 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:42.440 Like a mace. 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:46.520 No, no, gosh, rip that guy in Lord of the 0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:50.040 Seven Kingdoms Night of the Seven Kingdoms. Rather, no spoilers, 0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:56.880 but boiled boy, a thing happens. 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:02.560 I love the point you made earlier about how we 0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:04.920 moved to the High Middle Ages around the eleventh to 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:09.560 thirteenth centuries, and we see, just like the janissaries in 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:13.080 the Ottoman Empire. Stay tuned for that episode, these folks 0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:18.720 who were the nightly class, they became more of a 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:26.520 political class, right. That's where we see the more sophisticated designs. 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:29.720 That's also where we see their horses getting kitted out too. 0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:33.600 I feel so bad for those guys, But you've met horses. 0:15:33.640 --> 0:15:34.400 They're skiddish. 0:15:34.960 --> 0:15:37.880 They do tend to spook, that's true, which will cause 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:38.560 them to kick. 0:15:38.920 --> 0:15:40.720 And do not want to be on the receiving end 0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:41.200 of one of. 0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:45.600 Those, even on a slow going farm. I'm worried when 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:49.000 I run into horses on friendly terms, just because they 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:52.040 seem very stressed out as very fast prey out. 0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:52.840 Me and they bite. 0:15:53.400 --> 0:15:55.720 Yeah, and they get a little attitude. Man. 0:15:56.080 --> 0:15:58.320 No, And I don't want to sound like I'm scared 0:15:58.320 --> 0:15:58.760 of horses. 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:01.720 I think horses are gorgeous, majestic creatures, but they've got 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:02.840 some peculiarities. 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:06.280 Yeah, just like the humans. They evolved to specialize in 0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:11.120 certain things, and their thing is being hyper aware and running. 0:16:10.800 --> 0:16:14.120 Quickly run away. 0:16:14.040 --> 0:16:17.400 Yes, yeah, like the I picture a horse dad talking 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:20.200 to his kid and giving him life advice, and it's like, well, 0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:23.520 young horseboy, you're growing up. You're gonna be a horseman, 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:27.280 a stallion soon. So I'll tell you what your grandfather 0:16:27.400 --> 0:16:33.400 told me. Always run away. 0:16:31.520 --> 0:16:33.520 Yeah, And if you're in a horror movie, never run 0:16:33.640 --> 0:16:36.840 up the stairs. No. So it's just bad move. 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:42.840 So these we're just exercising empathy here, folks, because these horses, 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:45.720 who are already skittish, are thrust in the heat of 0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:50.040 battle while essentially wearing an exoskeleton definitely not their idea 0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:54.240 of good day, and horse armor was a whole other expense. 0:16:54.360 --> 0:16:58.720 So they're these lords and these well to do nights 0:16:59.080 --> 0:17:03.400 are spending the equivalent of millions of dollars on two 0:17:03.440 --> 0:17:06.560 separate pieces, two separate suits of armor, one for them, 0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:11.080 one for the horse. It's it's weird because the chest 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:14.760 plate was always a thing. But it's not until like 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:19.439 the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries that we see nights in 0:17:19.560 --> 0:17:22.920 full armor the way we would imagine them in the films. 0:17:23.040 --> 0:17:28.000 And that's because it took a while for breakthroughs in metallurgy. 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:29.920 Why am I saying that wrong? 0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:31.000 Metallurgy. 0:17:31.280 --> 0:17:33.480 Metallurgy, Yeah, you got to hurry through it. Let's keep 0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:35.720 that part it, let's do it. Yeah, metallurgy. 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:38.440 It's rare things that need to speak, though I guess 0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:39.640 in our profession it does. 0:17:39.440 --> 0:17:41.639 Come up from time to time, right right. 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:43.840 Metallurgy is one of these words that if you look 0:17:43.920 --> 0:17:45.800 at it, you can't say it right. 0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:48.960 Oh, and say it enough times, it loses all semblance 0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:50.479 of meaning or reason. 0:17:50.760 --> 0:17:51.879 Semantic satiation. 0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:54.520 Yeah, nonsense basically like English. 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:56.840 I mean, most of English is nonsense. 0:17:57.840 --> 0:18:00.760 Okay, So these this is the. 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:03.440 Time in history where the suits cover nearly every part 0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:06.160 of the body. They're custom fitted to you. You have 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:08.120 to be rich to have one, or have a very 0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:12.400 wealthy patron. A full suit of armor weighs between thirty 0:18:12.480 --> 0:18:16.399 to fifty kilograms that's sixty six to one hundred and 0:18:16.400 --> 0:18:17.959 ten pounds in freedom units. 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:21.160 Ben Can we talk stop it? Can we talk about 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:23.439 the codpiece? I think we're bearing the lead here. 0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:27.119 Yeah, all right, the codpiece, tell us about it? 0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:27.400 Goal. 0:18:27.560 --> 0:18:30.359 Well, Bennet's an armored or padded if you weren't lucky 0:18:30.480 --> 0:18:34.760 enough covering for the male groin on late medieval Renaissance 0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:35.760 armor and clothing. 0:18:36.400 --> 0:18:38.240 It was originally designed as. 0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:40.960 Like a practical flap that would join the front part 0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:44.040 of the under hose, which I guess is sort of 0:18:44.080 --> 0:18:46.960 like a yeah, kind of a not a jerkin I'm 0:18:46.960 --> 0:18:49.800 gonna get in trouble, you know, the sort of long 0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:53.080 john under parts of the shit. Thank you, thank you, 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:57.359 remove thy shift. It protected, of course, the genitals, and 0:18:57.440 --> 0:18:59.840 often it was a bit of a step up from 0:18:59.880 --> 0:19:03.040 that and included a steel shaped plate on top of 0:19:03.080 --> 0:19:03.640 the padding. 0:19:04.119 --> 0:19:05.879 In the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries. 0:19:05.920 --> 0:19:10.040 By the late to mid fifteen hundreds, it became another 0:19:10.119 --> 0:19:11.720 thing that would be exaggerated. 0:19:11.840 --> 0:19:15.240 It was fashional status. It was so embellius. 0:19:15.359 --> 0:19:17.080 It's out like bustles went crazy. 0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:19.359 Witness ye, my cod piece. 0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:24.560 That's why there are so many, so many paintings from 0:19:24.600 --> 0:19:27.480 back in the day of a guy that we knew 0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:33.800 was taken seriously, but has a ridiculous fake dog basically 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:34.560 a bulge. 0:19:34.800 --> 0:19:38.080 Yeah yeah, it's like the spinal tap bit where he 0:19:38.560 --> 0:19:41.440 goes through the airport security and it keeps going off, 0:19:41.440 --> 0:19:44.879 and then finally he removes the cucumber wrapped in tinfoil 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:45.960 from his trousers. 0:19:48.000 --> 0:19:50.880 Oh also shout out to all our European friends who 0:19:51.280 --> 0:19:55.040 learned about ranch. I don't like ranch unless it's homemade. 0:19:55.080 --> 0:19:59.040 But apparently the TSA has had to warn World Cup 0:19:59.160 --> 0:20:03.119 visitors that you can't bring bottles of ranch on the plane. 0:20:03.119 --> 0:20:04.679 Well you can at they're travel sized. 0:20:05.160 --> 0:20:07.359 If they're travel sized, if you are at the point 0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:10.760 of ranch addiction where you have to have a ranch flask, 0:20:11.000 --> 0:20:11.720 basically you. 0:20:11.760 --> 0:20:13.520 Gotta be got. I think you got to bring your own. 0:20:13.600 --> 0:20:17.080 I don't think they come like that in travel servings, 0:20:17.080 --> 0:20:17.600 but they should. 0:20:17.640 --> 0:20:18.720 Man, people love that's. 0:20:18.520 --> 0:20:19.280 A great idea. 0:20:19.840 --> 0:20:23.920 Uh we we also know just travel sauces in general. 0:20:23.960 --> 0:20:25.800 Ben you know, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:20:25.680 --> 0:20:30.560 Empty out those little Walgreens or Dwayne Reid shampoo bottles. 0:20:30.320 --> 0:20:32.200 Because I told you how I learned my lesson the 0:20:32.240 --> 0:20:34.679 hard way and had, like, you know, one hundred dollars 0:20:34.720 --> 0:20:37.440 worth of nice hot sauces. Confiscated. That's right for being 0:20:37.480 --> 0:20:39.800 in my carry on. We'll make that mistake again. 0:20:40.160 --> 0:20:42.760 Travel Ranch did jump in here real quick. I am 0:20:42.800 --> 0:20:45.280 actually pulling my friend Meredith, who's a weirdo. She brings 0:20:45.359 --> 0:20:47.920 her own tortilla chips with her and stuff like that. 0:20:47.960 --> 0:20:49.879 So I have asked her, are you a Ranch fan? 0:20:49.960 --> 0:20:51.199 And the I'm going to ask her a follow up 0:20:51.240 --> 0:20:54.359 of seeing if she brings Ranch on trail. 0:20:54.440 --> 0:20:57.199 You could broad in the question just to travel sauces travel. 0:20:57.840 --> 0:21:01.760 Oh, I'm sorry, she brings travel cononment so amazing. We'll 0:21:01.800 --> 0:21:05.359 ask you what kind of receptacles are best for these things? 0:21:05.480 --> 0:21:09.760 Yeah, all right, thank you. As we're waiting for the update, 0:21:09.840 --> 0:21:13.560 let's return to knights and shining armor. Uh. This full 0:21:13.560 --> 0:21:19.440 plate armor reaches its peak. It's real era of fanciness 0:21:19.480 --> 0:21:22.040 in the fifteenth and sixteenth century. 0:21:22.440 --> 0:21:22.720 Uh. 0:21:22.760 --> 0:21:26.560 The full suit is referred to as a panoply at times, 0:21:26.920 --> 0:21:30.320 and it's a feature basically, Yeah, it's all the stuff 0:21:30.359 --> 0:21:33.560 together and it's a feature at the very end of 0:21:33.560 --> 0:21:38.880 the Middle Ages going into the Renaissance. It's also it's 0:21:39.000 --> 0:21:44.040 popular image comes to us because of the ceremonies you 0:21:44.080 --> 0:21:48.040 were describing earlier. There jousting. They would make special armor 0:21:49.040 --> 0:21:52.879 just for jousting because these were wealthy people with a 0:21:52.920 --> 0:21:56.560 lot of disposable income. And you know, like you were saying, 0:21:56.680 --> 0:22:00.000 I think it's important that we acknowledge even the fans 0:22:00.080 --> 0:22:04.359 see his stuff was made from a series of materials. 0:22:04.359 --> 0:22:07.480 You had iron, you had leather, textiles, you had steel, 0:22:08.040 --> 0:22:10.840 and the plate armor is made of steel because it's 0:22:10.960 --> 0:22:14.760 very hard, but it's also flexible if you know how 0:22:14.800 --> 0:22:17.800 to work with it. The only reason they had steel 0:22:17.800 --> 0:22:21.720 plate armor is because some of the blacksmith boffins, the 0:22:21.760 --> 0:22:26.120 metal aer just figured out how to quench and temper 0:22:26.680 --> 0:22:31.680 these steel plates so they wouldn't be brittle, because if 0:22:31.720 --> 0:22:34.399 you don't make it the right way, then that mace 0:22:34.480 --> 0:22:36.560 that you could have been saved from is just going 0:22:36.600 --> 0:22:37.399