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Speaker 1: So it's me, Miguela Gorilla, Pippy long Stocking, and we're

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Speaker 1: all sort of jam in this chimney together, all stuck

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Speaker 1: and getting kind of nervous, getting a little claustrophobic, because

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Speaker 1: of course we had each shown up at you know,

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Speaker 1: our It's a little complicated, but it was my godson's

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Speaker 1: first Christmas in July, and I wanted to surprise him

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Speaker 1: by being my sort of Santo Man persona, and so

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Speaker 1: I show up with the little red shorts and the

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Speaker 1: tight red Hawaiian shirt and the little red stocking cap

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Speaker 1: and the neatly trimmed beard, and I'm crawling in the

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Speaker 1: chimney and my foot touches something. It's Macgilla Gorilla. He's

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Speaker 1: below me. Turns out he is this child's god son

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Speaker 1: as well, or godfather. And above me, oh, feet on

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Speaker 1: my head. Oh look it's Pippy Longstocking, who's very old.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm very grotesque, and I'm not enjoying this, and

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Speaker 1: we can't get out, and they're starting a fire downstairs,

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Speaker 1: which I don't know why they're doing that in July,

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Speaker 1: but it's getting very smoky and we're having trouble breathing.

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Speaker 1: When girl gorilla did die. And when I do finally

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Speaker 1: get out, John, I get on the roof and I

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Speaker 1: grab Raya Pearlman, and I say, how many god parents

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Speaker 1: does this kid have? To talking about her? I'm her godfather? No, no, no, no, yeah,

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Speaker 1: she's on the roof. Okay, because at this point they

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Speaker 1: needed to get like a machine to get me out.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, what you're saying, so ray Par she's like

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Speaker 1: the machine operator. She's operating the machine. But she also,

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Speaker 1: uh you know uh is one of the godparents of

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Speaker 1: this kid. And I'm kind I can't remember the kid's name.

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Speaker 1: Do they Does that make banksy bonksy something like this?

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Speaker 2: Does that make you guys? God brothers and god sisters?

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Speaker 2: Do you have any Relationshi?

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Speaker 1: My understanding was there's only supposed to be two one

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Speaker 1: of each, one of yes a parent, Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 1: but there's only one gun. Now that's now, Brett. I

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Speaker 1: usually don't want you to chime in this early. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: hang on, b hand Buckets, I got kicking my drop.

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Speaker 1: Names were a couple of I always listened to. You

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Speaker 1: were called show biz. But up I'm here. If John Gabris, obviously,

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Speaker 1: if you didn't listen to the last episode, go back

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Speaker 1: and listen from the beginning until you catch up to

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Speaker 1: that one, and then listen to that one, and then

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Speaker 1: do this. Uh. If you ever miss any you're doing

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Speaker 1: it wrong. Uh. This show is so good. We always

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Speaker 1: make it so good. Uh. It's never half baked, unless

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Speaker 1: you're talking about the movie Half Baked, which we think

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Speaker 1: is so funny. The guy on the couch, if you remember, dude,

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Speaker 1: he's hilarious. That's uh, what's his name, MAUI, wowie, it's

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Speaker 1: Stephen right, is the guy in the counch? Maybe? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: So we who's coming with me? Remember he does Jerry

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Speaker 1: mc fuck you? Yeah? So we. So we did an

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Speaker 1: episode last week where I uh tried to beat John

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Speaker 1: Gaber said his own game. Uh. He obviously as part

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Speaker 1: of a nefarious plot, Uh, wanted to break up me

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Speaker 1: in Hayes by doing very popular podcasts with Hazes about

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Speaker 1: newspaper comics. It had a really long tail on it.

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Speaker 1: It's been performing very well. It's incredibly well received, and uh,

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Speaker 1: he wanted, I guess to try to steal Hayes. So

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Speaker 1: I said, well, I'm gonna fix ha breches. I'm the

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Speaker 1: Briches tailor. I'm here to get his briches fitting him

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Speaker 1: now because John had made him so big he couldn't

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Speaker 1: fit them anymore.

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Speaker 2: But if you had listened to last week's episode, you

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Speaker 2: know all this already, right.

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Speaker 1: Oh yes, well okay, so listen to that episode. But

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Speaker 1: let me just explain quickly. John and I'm almost at

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Speaker 1: the point. So we brought in Joe Wanger. We did

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Speaker 1: a much better podcast episode than what John and Hayes

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Speaker 1: were doing with their thing, which was honestly just sort

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Speaker 1: of lackluster and drab. I don't think I'm spilling Anythingah.

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Speaker 3: I didn't.

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Speaker 2: I mean I didn't have a theremin or an engineer

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Speaker 2: at all in my episode.

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Speaker 1: So exactly, we've got Brett. He Brett brings the heat

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Speaker 1: and Brett who's the one true God? Who who's the

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Speaker 1: one true guy? Does she? First of all?

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Speaker 2: Uh?

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Speaker 3: Huh? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I didn't say yeah, okay cool? So hauh No, I didn't, okay,

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Speaker 1: I said, Brett, who's the one true God? Answer the question?

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Speaker 1: If it's a woman, you know there, it's okay? Is

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Speaker 1: it Alanis Morissett? Did Dogma get it right? Wouldn't that

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Speaker 1: be ironic? Oh? Interesting fact about that song she's talking

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Speaker 1: about Dave Coolier. Yeah, that's right, So go to mid

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Speaker 1: thirties white guy fact. So it's a different song. So

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Speaker 1: first I thought it was a really good joke, but

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Speaker 1: it was like, you don't know what the fuck you're

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Speaker 1: talking about. So what I was gonna say is we

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Speaker 1: had Joe Wangered in and he, uh, basically make Gabers

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Speaker 1: look like a fucking sick joke carbon copy version of

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Speaker 1: himself because he totally blew him out of the water Wanger.

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Speaker 1: It made me look like a copy of myself. Yes,

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Speaker 1: he really showed that your sort of act is kind

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Speaker 1: of threadbare and you're not invading and uh, it is

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Speaker 1: easily replicable, Yes, and he could do it and out

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Speaker 1: do it. And the unfortunate side effect was Wangard embraced

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Speaker 1: his role a little too enthusiastically, and he has become

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Speaker 1: Ubberzerker who is wreaking havoc on the city. He's gone

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Speaker 1: rogue and he is alt Gaberson Gabers so hard that

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Speaker 1: we're in a state of emergency and they're about to

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Speaker 1: declare martial law.

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Speaker 2: That's literally why I came in here is because I

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Speaker 2: got a call from my contact at top ten skateboard fails.

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Speaker 2: It's a weekly show. I am a talking head on

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Speaker 2: and Wangert's there.

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Speaker 1: That's kind of what you do. Yeah, that's me hashtagh.

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Speaker 1: That's my jam.

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Speaker 2: And Wangert's over there demanding that he gets a chance

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Speaker 2: in the chair to make He keeps saying that sweet,

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Speaker 2: sweet non union money.

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Speaker 1: He's like, this is all shit.

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Speaker 2: I say, yeah, he's really fucking you know, he's eating

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Speaker 2: my lunch over there. Literally, they have my lunch over

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Speaker 2: there and he's eating it. That's one hundred chicken wings.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. No, he's my contractually oblicated lunch. He's put on

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Speaker 1: a few LB's. Uh and uh he's he you know.

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Speaker 1: That's the least of our problem is him being a

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Speaker 1: talking head on shows, because he's also I heard went

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Speaker 1: to the zoo and was doing some pretty funny stuff there.

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Speaker 2: So he was doing a chin up contest against an

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Speaker 2: against the orangutane.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and howd he get in the cage and then

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Speaker 1: he punched the rangutane pretty hard and you tried to

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Speaker 1: rugby tackle him.

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Speaker 2: He kept saying, yeah, well that's the thing what he

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Speaker 2: was doing. He's not trained in rugby, and not that

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Speaker 2: I'm I'm barely trained. But he doesn't know what he's doing.

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Speaker 2: He's gonna get himself.

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Speaker 1: Hurt or someone else or more.

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Speaker 2: Importantly for anyone, he's gonna fuck up my rep Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I've got a brand to maintain. Yeah, he is saying,

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Speaker 1: I'm John Gabris, and then he'll do like a big thing,

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Speaker 1: or sometimes he says garbus yeah, and he does, and

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Speaker 1: then he'll do a big crazy thing. So the reason

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Speaker 1: we brought John in here is at the requests of

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Speaker 1: the FBI. To be a wolf, you gotta catch a

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Speaker 1: wolf or something to that effect. And uh, we're trying

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Speaker 1: to catch a wolf. So we've got to be a wolf.

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Speaker 1: And John Gamers is going to invite us into his mind,

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Speaker 1: uh and try to anticipate the next step of Joe Wanger.

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Speaker 1: We obviously have our man on the street, mister Hayes,

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Speaker 1: dabbing poor and he's going to dabbing poor his way

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Speaker 1: through the city and capture Joe Wanger with any luck. Hayes,

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Speaker 1: are you there?

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Speaker 3: Hello? Can you hear me?

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Speaker 1: We can?

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Speaker 3: Okay, I'm on foot. So I went to his house.

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Speaker 3: Oh god, we're on the La River now. He set

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Speaker 3: me in and he uh, I think he's been taking

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Speaker 3: this kind of synthetic hormone called gabral zone. And he's big.

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Speaker 3: He's like really big. And I don't mean that like

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Speaker 3: to say anything about you, John. I don't know if that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I was gonna eventually address that. The whole Bridges

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Speaker 2: thing was just like completely figurative, right.

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Speaker 3: No, no, no no, I mean we don't have a

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Speaker 3: huge amount of time to talk about that, but now

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Speaker 3: was not. I could see how you could interpret it

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Speaker 3: that way.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well, whanger, it's huge. Now this is this is

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Speaker 1: good for us become something.

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Speaker 3: It's like a when to go because of the wind

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Speaker 3: to gabris Mmmm. And he's going and he's like, he's

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Speaker 3: going down to the La River now in leaps, like

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Speaker 3: these big leaps.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And I don't know why would he be the

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Speaker 1: ver John? What what would he need that's near the river?

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Speaker 2: I mean he might be he might have cotton mouth

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Speaker 2: from a couple of epic bingers.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, did he rip bingers? Do you know anything?

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Speaker 1: The house smell of sativa? Can you see a gravity bong?

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Speaker 1: John has always said that it's better to be sort

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Speaker 1: of smoking out of a trash can if you can.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, why use good glassware when you have a cut

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Speaker 2: off three liter bottle of Welch's grape soda.

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Speaker 1: To rip one?

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Speaker 3: Mm hmm. Okay, Well, he is heading toward a factory

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Speaker 3: and like Frogtown and it did the smoke dicks on

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Speaker 3: the top of.

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Speaker 1: Shit, He's gonna rip a smokestack.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, it's in there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's gonna He's gonna rampage his way up to

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Speaker 2: the top of that tower and start really fucking huffing it.

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Speaker 2: You have to stop it before that. We can't afford

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Speaker 2: to have Wanger die.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, I can't be held responsible for him taking

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Speaker 1: a monstrous mega rip of frigging the chief ass fucking

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Speaker 1: Sativa or whatever. I cannot have him doing the big

187
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Speaker 1: fresh chiba rips.

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Speaker 3: Please, I did. I did shoot him. I've been shooting

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Speaker 3: him a lot.

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Speaker 1: And how does he take that?

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Speaker 3: He seems to enjoy it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there is a mind.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if he's really enjoying it or if

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Speaker 3: he's just pretending to, like, Oh, I actually love that.

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Speaker 2: No, if he's if he's fully if he's really transforming

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Speaker 2: from the gabra zone, he might find a lot of

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Speaker 2: pleasure in pain and it might be erotic pleasure, so

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Speaker 2: keep that in mind without getting into too much information

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Speaker 2: about myself.

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Speaker 1: And you wanted to talk a little bit about fifty

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Speaker 1: Shades Darker today, Is that right? Yes? I'm uh.

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Speaker 2: I was pissed to find out the fifty Shades Darker

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Speaker 2: is a sequel to fifty Shades of Gray and not

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Speaker 2: fifty Shades of Black Marl L.

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Speaker 1: Wayne's comedy that I'm obsessed with.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, So, I mean, I don't want to be

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Speaker 2: problematic or you know, racially insensitive here, but fifty Shades

208
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Speaker 2: of black. You hear fifty Shades darker, You're not thinking gray,

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Speaker 2: You're thinking black, not at all.

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Speaker 1: But I guess the sequel would be fifty shapes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: He's eating. He's eating a bunch of ducks. He's pulling

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Speaker 3: about of the sky.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, okay, can we use that a little bit.

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Speaker 2: How far away you from the factory, because if it's

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Speaker 2: over a quarter mile, you're gonna catch up very easily.

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Speaker 2: He's either gonna get distracted, Yeah, he's he's probably very

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Speaker 2: winded at this point.

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Speaker 3: My eyes. I'm not close, but I can definitely hear

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Speaker 3: him breathing.

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Speaker 2: I'm getting some like Elliot et knee pain right now.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, so he's gonna be slowing down shortly

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Speaker 2: if he's eating ducks out of this like he's gonna

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Speaker 2: get he's gonna get tired. Once he gets some of

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Speaker 2: that fatty meat inside of him, he's gonna want to nap,

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Speaker 2: or he's gonna want to beat that. He's gonna want

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Speaker 2: to maybe even beat off.

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Speaker 1: Oh yes, beating off. Talk a little bit about that, John.

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Speaker 1: It's just, uh, you know, if you work from home,

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Speaker 1: it's a habit you get and it's a great release.

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Speaker 3: Huh.

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Speaker 2: And I would imagine if you're pumped up on Gabra Zone,

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Speaker 2: you're you're gonna be looking up Power Girl cosplay or

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Speaker 2: Poison Ivy cosplay and just really beating off.

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Speaker 1: So you know, this is still a podcast episode. Obviously

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Speaker 1: we're trying to capture a wild wanger who's gone nuts

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Speaker 1: on Gabra Zone, but we do because it's a podcast.

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Speaker 1: I always want to talk about newspaper comics. How did

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Speaker 1: Andy Capp wind up on Hot Fries?

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Speaker 2: You know, I only really know Andy cap via Hot Fries.

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Speaker 2: I learned that retroactively he was a comic.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so he's a comic and Hayes might know more

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Speaker 1: about this than me, I can admit. I know. The

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Speaker 1: whole thing is he's just a fucking drunk and his

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Speaker 1: wife is like trying to wake him up to like

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Speaker 1: go do something, and he's like, no, fuck you, I

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Speaker 1: want to drink a lot of.

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Speaker 3: Newspaper I always thought was funny we go along here

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Speaker 3: he stopped in front of a hetty billboard with a

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Speaker 3: woman on and he is beating up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but he's going to be done fast though, just

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Speaker 2: as he heads up, if he's, if he's, he'll be

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Speaker 2: done in under a second between arm strength, grip technique

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Speaker 2: and you know, hair trick.

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Speaker 3: I think the fact that he I think the fact

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Speaker 3: that he is so tired of make you go because

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Speaker 3: the movement is really cool.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he's, It's more he's at this point he's gonna

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Speaker 1: be very powerful, but only for short bursts. But of

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Speaker 1: all the comic characters from the newspaper to end up

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Speaker 1: on hot Fries, why Andy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know, Okay, I feel like it could.

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Speaker 2: There could be anybody hot Fries. You Hagar the Horrible.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he would absolutely have a lot to say

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Speaker 1: about hot fries. A Viking like that.

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Speaker 2: Like he's like a food guy. I mean, like Dagwood.

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Speaker 2: He's a food guy. He eats a lot.

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Speaker 1: Was a really natural fit.

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Speaker 3: Well, Dagwood and Hagar and he is pooping on but

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Speaker 3: they all already have certain foods that they're identified with.

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Speaker 1: A big yeah.

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Speaker 3: Oh heys if he might be better branding opportunities for them.

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Speaker 2: If it's been six or seven minutes since he ate,

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Speaker 2: since wingered ate those ducks, he's gonna to stop and

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Speaker 2: have some serious bowel movements very soon. If he's full

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Speaker 2: gabra and he's gonna talk about it or stop to

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Speaker 2: tweet about.

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Speaker 1: It, you can use those to track him, you know,

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Speaker 1: you can follow the.

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Speaker 3: If you maybe you can help with this Gabor. I

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Speaker 3: think he's deciding whether just masturbating to take a ship.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he's not gonna stop. He can do both.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so he's about to double up.

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Speaker 2: You'll know he's about to ship if he puts a

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Speaker 2: stack of graphic novels and a pack of baby wipes

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Speaker 2: like out on a display next to him.

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Speaker 1: That must be pretty intense. Huh, what just having to

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Speaker 1: come out of both sides. It's like the ultimate sneeze. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: If you could sneeze while jerking off and shitting and

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Speaker 2: you're throwing up.

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Speaker 1: You're empty. You'll be inside out in no time. Oh yeah, Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's a pretty intense goal.

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Speaker 3: Okay, okay, he's exploding the thing.

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Speaker 1: Back up, back up, Do not approach now. You can't

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Speaker 1: cap sure him when he's in this state. This isn't

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Speaker 1: it's slick, it's oily. You can it's dangerous to even

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Speaker 1: walk near.

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Speaker 3: Well, I'm on the right side because in terms of ejaculate,

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Speaker 3: there is not very much. There's like a really really about.

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Speaker 2: Wait no, no, no, I know that's what you're gonna

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Speaker 2: think based on his current genital size.

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Speaker 1: But this is he's on gaber zone. He's got oh

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Speaker 1: it's frequency, he's tapped out. He's he's a souse. I

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Speaker 1: play huge loads. Motherfuck. No, I know that you do. John,

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Speaker 1: And this is something that you've brought up a lot,

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Speaker 1: not necessarily on the podcast but just around my wife

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Speaker 1: and I. But because you're doing it so much, does

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Speaker 1: it never become watery? It becomes powdery before it becomes watery.

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Speaker 1: Oh interesting, Okay.

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Speaker 3: You've you've come This is pure powder.

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Speaker 2: He's reached powder stage. He's gonna need to eat again

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Speaker 2: or sleep soon. That might be your best chance to

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Speaker 2: get him.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: We brought up the Dagwood and I mentioned Dagos.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, go ahead, and I.

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Speaker 1: Bet and I mentioned Dagostino subs, which the first half

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Speaker 1: of that is kind of the word daego. And I

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Speaker 1: wanted to take this moment to just formally apologize to

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Speaker 1: John uh and to the Fox fall line. Uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: for using terms that are owned by other people. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: if you didn't hear the last episode, you don't know.

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Speaker 1: But John's very comfortable making racial jokes. I'm not as comfortable.

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Speaker 1: It's something I admire about him. And with the success

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Speaker 1: of the mix, basically every somewhat safe racial term has

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Speaker 1: been purchased by the Fox network to name a character

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Speaker 1: after Uh. The Daego will be coming out soon, uh

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Speaker 1: and I and I wish them all the best in

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Speaker 1: all the ratings, so I'm always rooting for network comedies.

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Speaker 1: Those are my favorite.

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Speaker 3: Uh. Second, and he's kind of pulling away, ma'am, ma'am,

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Speaker 3: I need to use your car please. I need to

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Speaker 3: come and hear your car. Yeah, no way, Kirk try

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Speaker 3: to out gap Rod Gabriel and he's he's riding through

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Speaker 3: the city.

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Speaker 1: Hey's what kind of car is it? I don't give

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Speaker 1: a fuck about status, but I just want to know about.

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Speaker 3: You're thinking of drog Giberley from Broad City. That's that's

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00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:37,040
Speaker 3: drag Geberley. I can't escape Gabrith's uh guy code a

340
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Speaker 3: fourth man out, like.

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Speaker 2: A more mainstream Mike Mitchell. Tell her he's like.

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Speaker 3: A more ethnic Mike Mitchell. Yeah, yes, Oh she saw

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Speaker 3: the Barber Show, the Barber Games. Okay, yes, she loves that.

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Speaker 1: Fuck due I was. I was told no one saw

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Speaker 1: that Santa's out of the barn.

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Speaker 2: That might be a good way to trap Wangert is

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00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,879
Speaker 2: just to offer him like an easy paycheck with a

348
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Speaker 2: truly embarrassing gig attached to it. If he's fully on

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Speaker 2: gabor Zone, all he can think about is not having

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Speaker 2: to be a waiter or improv teacher.

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Speaker 1: Heyes, we know you're not going to be able to

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Speaker 1: capture him through Brute's strength. We know that the shooting

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Speaker 1: him hasn't worked. Have you approached him with any kind

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00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:29,320
Speaker 1: of like non ubuion, third tier cable or possibly website show?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

356
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,520
Speaker 2: Is there like a you can he can do branded content?

357
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:34,600
Speaker 2: For Ciso like maybe threw.

358
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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure they're giving SISO development deals away

359
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,439
Speaker 1: Bazuoka Joe Wanger, I just thought of that.

360
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Speaker 3: Wait, I'm just listening to what So when he got

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Speaker 3: in his car, it looks like he went to Headgumb.

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Speaker 3: He drove to Headgumb.

363
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Speaker 1: He went to Headgumb studio. Oh he thinks he's got

364
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Speaker 1: a record.

365
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Speaker 3: He's fully no, he's he's talking to Jacob a mirror.

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Speaker 3: It sounds like he's talking about taking his his show

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Speaker 3: and just doing a Patreon of it because he has

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Speaker 3: a built in fan base. Uh, and he records from

369
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:08,800
Speaker 3: home anyway, he has his studio set up.

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Speaker 1: Oh the agitatio maneuver.

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Speaker 3: It's like a pretty good idea.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, So he's gonna really sever tize with Headgum

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Speaker 1: because they're not providing him with anything material. I mean,

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Speaker 1: they're doing ad sales, but he'd make more money just

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Speaker 1: having his fan base pledge the money.

376
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Speaker 2: Oh Wanger doesn't have a Headgum podcast? Is he canceling?

377
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,640
Speaker 2: Is he removing my podcast from there?

378
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:31,920
Speaker 1: Does he have that.

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00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,439
Speaker 3: About removing higher money? But I think this is actually

380
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Speaker 3: I mean, he's got them over a barrel I think

381
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,040
Speaker 3: this is actually working out pretty great for.

382
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Speaker 1: At worst, he would just be able to renegotiate for

383
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Speaker 1: a larger share of the ad set.

384
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I count on that one hundred and forty dollars

385
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,480
Speaker 2: a month. He better not fuck me out of that.

386
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,960
Speaker 2: I need that one hundred and ninety nine a month.

387
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Speaker 3: Dude, he's setting up the Patreon it's and they're saying

388
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,120
Speaker 3: he could get like maybe fifty thousand a month.

389
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Speaker 1: Jesus Christ.

390
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,960
Speaker 2: Even fucking Wanger hopped up on gabra zone is better

391
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Speaker 2: off than I am.

392
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:04,680
Speaker 1: This is.

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00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 3: It may have improved his like business skills a little bit.

394
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,119
Speaker 2: That's some of the that's Wanger, that's residual Wangard in

395
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,280
Speaker 2: there being an intelligent person. It has to be because

396
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,359
Speaker 2: I've never made a sound business decision in my life.

397
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Speaker 1: Asked my lawyer, which lawyer do you want to ask?

398
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:29,160
Speaker 1: Lev Ginsburg the big guy? Please lg Baby.

399
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 3: Maybe they're still a little winger that I could try

400
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:32,640
Speaker 3: and communicate.

401
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:35,800
Speaker 2: With that might maybe throw them, like leave out a

402
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,960
Speaker 2: few mixed CDs and maybe you can make a Because

403
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 2: the thing about Gabe, if he's really if he's juiced up,

404
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:43,560
Speaker 2: he's heading towards gabors You've got to find the human

405
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,240
Speaker 2: element of him, because there is not.

406
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Speaker 1: I don't have that. I'm all lizard nan.

407
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:52,320
Speaker 3: Lizard braids. We love that, huh.

408
00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:55,880
Speaker 1: I love talking about that stuff. And there's something about

409
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,040
Speaker 1: being a comedian that I think almost makes you have

410
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 1: even a different lizard brain than the other lizards. Only

411
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,080
Speaker 1: a comic would think of some of the messed up

412
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 1: stuff that we do. I mean, have you ever made

413
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:12,120
Speaker 1: a joke gabris At, like a really inappropriate time? Yeah,

414
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:13,439
Speaker 1: yeah you have.

415
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 2: I just can't help it because for me, it's like

416
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:17,880
Speaker 2: who I am. I'm comedy, you know what I mean?

417
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 2: You say something, I'm spinning the wheel of fucking references

418
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:21,080
Speaker 2: and something's coming out.

419
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:22,680
Speaker 1: It's like a brain disease.

420
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,959
Speaker 2: Let me ask you a brain disease, but it's like

421
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:27,160
Speaker 2: my superpower.

422
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 1: Oh, let me ask you another question. Pogo, what was he?

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Speaker 3: Uh?

424
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 1: Was he the duck? Like a hedgehoggy thing?

425
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:38,040
Speaker 2: Oh?

426
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:38,680
Speaker 1: The hedgehoggy.

427
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 3: I'm trying to conserve my breath both in here, but yeah,

428
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 3: he's not a duck.

429
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 2: If you need to get ahead of Wanger, you might

430
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:53,680
Speaker 2: want to try to go buy a gym like a local,

431
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 2: like old school gym, but hang out at the protein

432
00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:59,439
Speaker 2: shake fridge, not anywhere near any of the cardio equipment

433
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:00,040
Speaker 2: or anything.

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00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:05,480
Speaker 1: That gasoline all? Did that scare you? Gasoline ally? I

435
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,200
Speaker 1: remember just being like, I'm not sleeping a wink tonight.

436
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 1: I just read a really scary gasoline alley? Were they scary?

437
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:13,119
Speaker 3: Guys?

438
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:15,960
Speaker 1: I think you overestimate how much I like newspaper comment

439
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,880
Speaker 1: non sequitur understatement much.

440
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 3: Well you well, you chose it. I gave you so

441
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:26,199
Speaker 3: many options, yeah, I.

442
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 1: Wrote, If I read the list aloud of options you

443
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 1: gave me, it would pinch you as a very white male.

444
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 3: I mean, we could have gone back and forth. We

445
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 3: didn't have to. I didn't mean that to be the

446
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 3: edge of the discussion. But I have tried to. I

447
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,159
Speaker 3: have tried to consider my breath. This just seems like

448
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 3: a disafe thing for you to.

449
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:51,120
Speaker 1: Say, well, uh yeah, so I'd like to apologize. Also,

450
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 1: I guess for some of the other comments made about

451
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 1: Wanger being more like you by saying he should do

452
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 1: a big brap like elch noise, or just that his

453
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:06,199
Speaker 1: bodily functions should be seemingly out of his control, or

454
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,120
Speaker 1: if they are in his control, then he's very rude, right,

455
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:10,400
Speaker 1: It could be a little bit of both.

456
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,200
Speaker 2: It could be a little out of control, but a

457
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:15,159
Speaker 2: lack of caring about being rude, which is sort of

458
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:16,920
Speaker 2: like the sweet spot that I run down.

459
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:22,720
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Yeah. So I didn't mean to h imply

460
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 1: anything about you. You know that you're gonna be mad

461
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:30,479
Speaker 1: at me about No, I'm on probiotics now. As of

462
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 1: listening to that episode, lev Ginsburg sent that to me

463
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 1: and said, let me know if you want to take action.

464
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 1: So that's been a positive change.

465
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I've been using so I upon hearing that,

466
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 2: I didn't realize, maybe because of my rudeness, that I'm

467
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 2: sort of upfront about pissing and shitting and coming and

468
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:52,240
Speaker 2: burping and farting and throwing up and picking your nose

469
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:53,119
Speaker 2: and fucking you.

470
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 1: Know, amazar wax stuff Yeah, like you know, smelling earwax,

471
00:24:57,960 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 1: beard trimmings, pubes.

472
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I didn't realize how upfront I was about

473
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:04,600
Speaker 2: you know, the gray and my.

474
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,200
Speaker 1: Butt sauce or whatever.

475
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:11,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, button, yeah, mud, yuck, duck butter, truffle butter, like

476
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 2: these are all this like but yeah, passing juice, yeah,

477
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,640
Speaker 2: whim these are all things that I'm always talking about

478
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:19,160
Speaker 2: and I didn't know it cheese.

479
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know if you I don't know if

480
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,120
Speaker 3: I don't know if you mentioned this here. But Wendy Gabers,

481
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 3: what to remind you that you talk about eating ass.

482
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:31,959
Speaker 1: A lot, eating ass, tossing salad. Yeah, that's all. That's all.

483
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 2: I didn't realize how rude it was for me to

484
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 2: be so upfront about you know that the male g

485
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 2: spot is real and like a shower finger doesn't count

486
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:43,159
Speaker 2: as homosexuality and stuff like that.

487
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 1: I didn't realize.

488
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 3: He's not playing any judgment on it and he's just

489
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 3: pointing it out. Okay, part of the part of the list.

490
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:54,199
Speaker 1: He's just he's respond he's calling response a little bit here. Yeah,

491
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 1: and I.

492
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 3: Might we have a second to sit down because we're

493
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,720
Speaker 3: at the natural History medium and he's chewing got a

494
00:25:58,720 --> 00:25:59,880
Speaker 3: big dinosaur.

495
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:03,199
Speaker 1: Bat oh wow, yeah, from the Bronosaurus ribs.

496
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:08,120
Speaker 2: Fred Flintstone is my like goal body type, to be honest,

497
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 2: So when you said that, it kind of like woke

498
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:11,679
Speaker 2: me up a little bit too, where I was like

499
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 2: Fred Flintstone, like a lot of people are like, you

500
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 2: know what about guys like Chris Pratt, that could be you,

501
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,680
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I don't know, but Fred Flintstone seems more.

502
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 2: You know, I'm a little caveman ask I hate wearing shoes.

503
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,400
Speaker 1: I think it works for me. Yeah, that could work

504
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 1: out really well. What are you gonna do now that

505
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:31,639
Speaker 1: Wangart has shut down? High and Mighty and uh seems

506
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:34,399
Speaker 1: to be taking all your gigs? Do you have a

507
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 1: backup plan? Is there something you always wanted to do?

508
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 1: Make wicker furniture or something like that. I might try to.

509
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 1: I might go down to San Diego and become a lifeguard.

510
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,159
Speaker 1: Oh okay, yeah, Oh.

511
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 2: It's just like a you know, an old dream of mine.

512
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 2: I was a lifeguard on oh On Hayes. Call the

513
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 2: call an airline and just make sure he's not trying

514
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 2: to book a flight into ron Kankama, the only Long

515
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 2: Island based airport. Okay, that might be something to keep

516
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 2: in mind. If he's full Gabra zone, he's gonna want

517
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 2: to go back to Long Island.

518
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,680
Speaker 1: And get gonna return to the Motherland. Yeah, he's gonna

519
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,639
Speaker 1: head right right to my right to my hero on

520
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 1: Jerusalem Avenue in North Belmore. Okay, he's gonna be ordering

521
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:18,440
Speaker 1: a chicken club. Hold the tomato and cheese. Just lay

522
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,199
Speaker 1: the lay the trap. Anthony behind the counter will know

523
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 1: it's not me, even though I haven't lived there in

524
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,680
Speaker 1: over a decade.

525
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,159
Speaker 3: Okay, I did.

526
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 1: Want to talk a little bit about newspaper comics.

527
00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 3: I just want to say, I check the it's up

528
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,160
Speaker 3: to twenty one thousand, and the fact.

529
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:48,400
Speaker 1: Serious and the fact that you, uh, you know, had

530
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 1: that really great performing episode with Hayes. And it's almost

531
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,199
Speaker 1: as if I haven't done High and Mighty, but I

532
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 1: have done fifteen of them or something you have. They're

533
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:00,159
Speaker 1: just only about ship. People don't want to listen to

534
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:04,880
Speaker 1: poker banshee bosh. And since I did have that Poker

535
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 1: one and maybe it just wasn't immediately accessible, what people

536
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 1: have gone and read up on it a little bit,

537
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 1: let's talk about I think to be that sizing you

538
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:20,200
Speaker 1: want to follow up to your episode about poker. Yeah, sure, well,

539
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 1: I now they don't have dirkis here, kind of like

540
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 1: diluting it a little bit. Yeah, yeah, because he really

541
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about the fun stuff of poker. But

542
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 1: I just want to talk about sort of some of

543
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 1: the math of it in a way that could be

544
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:33,720
Speaker 1: alienated that's.

545
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:36,640
Speaker 2: A classic Sean and Dom split more of he's more

546
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 2: of the heart, you're more of the brain.

547
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:41,479
Speaker 1: So you know, back in the nineties, I think it

548
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,120
Speaker 1: was pretty traditional for people to do a three x

549
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 1: big blind bet as their standard incoming rays. But what

550
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 1: I started to realize around that time was that you

551
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 1: could go two and a half x and steal just

552
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:58,959
Speaker 1: as many blinds, but you were getting a better value

553
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 1: at a better price. You'd see a lot more hands

554
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 1: uh for less money, which is always to your advantage.

555
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 1: What I would say is, with the ultra aggression of

556
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 1: some of the new players, uh, that idea of defending

557
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:17,480
Speaker 1: your blind against a wider range of incoming raises has

558
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: become popularized to the extent that if you.

559
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,680
Speaker 3: Do want to go ahead, I have a update, I

560
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 3: have a update.

561
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 1: Sure, Yeah, what's the Window games doing? So?

562
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 3: I jumped in the back pocket of the of the

563
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 3: Wendow gamers's bathing suit. You're wearing a bathing suit though

564
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 3: it's January. And where we are in Long Island. Now,

565
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 3: we got to Long Island in like three long strides.

566
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:44,920
Speaker 3: He's gotten so.

567
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 1: Big he feels no coll.

568
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 3: No no, uh, and uh it is Long Island it

569
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 3: is more of like I was surprised, like it seems

570
00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:00,640
Speaker 3: like the background he's seeking out here, it's more of

571
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:05,959
Speaker 3: like a like East, you know, like hamp did Zy,

572
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:11,480
Speaker 3: like Gatsby esque Long Island than like the blue collar

573
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 3: thing that I think Gabris has always described. I mean,

574
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 3: I think that, like I don't know, like I don't

575
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 3: know if Gabris has always been honest. I think he

576
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 3: was actually like really like like high society in Long Island.

577
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 2: Now, you guys said a lot of ship last week

578
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 2: and a lot of ship this week, and I've been

579
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:31,920
Speaker 2: fucking cool from the get go. I just want to

580
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 2: play along. I want people to listen to my podcast.

581
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 2: But now I don't have a podcast, and now you're

582
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 2: fucking telling me I'm.

583
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 1: Not blue collar.

584
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 3: He'll just tell you that the wedding Gabris is home.

585
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 3: He is not doing the access anymore. He has a

586
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 3: different access saying he's attached to he kind of sounds

587
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:56,320
Speaker 3: like it kind of sounds like Catherine Hepburn.

588
00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 1: Oh no, does he have a long cigarette hold and

589
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:05,720
Speaker 1: and sort of like elbow do you have elbow length

590
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 1: white gloves on?

591
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:11,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's wearing a sailing jacket.

592
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 1: You're not saying that.

593
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 2: I just really lean into the Long Island stuff to

594
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 2: differentiate myself from other fat bearded comedians in the comedy scene.

595
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 2: You're not accusing me of that by any Wait are

596
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 2: there other comedians who are upper middle class white guys

597
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 2: but they want to sort of play it down like

598
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 2: there may be lower middle.

599
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 1: Class white guys. Don't tell me I'm not. That's not

600
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear that kind of stuff. I

601
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 1: want to know that they got college paid for, but

602
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 1: pulled themselves up by their bootstrap, but had a presidential scholarship,

603
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 1: or else your parents wouldn't have let you gone to

604
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 1: a private university. Yeah, yeah, that could really college. Yeah,

605
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:54,280
Speaker 1: the real salt of the earth, you know, like the

606
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 1: rust belt.

607
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 2: Your mom's in a union, your dad's in a union,

608
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 2: and you're in two saga after in w g A

609
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 2: just a real blue collar union grinding family.

610
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 3: Hayes, are you he's taking he's taking the family skiff around, uh,

611
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,160
Speaker 3: around the lake for a beat.

612
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 1: That sounds so nice, man, It's so weird. It's an

613
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 1: island and he's hitting the lake.

614
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 2: Lake Ronkonkoma is so small, isn't my family skiff because

615
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 2: we keep that down at Woodcliffe Canal, the nautical mile

616
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 2: Freeport south Shore.

617
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 3: I don't know the geography this, doesn't you know I've

618
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:40,720
Speaker 3: got here?

619
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 1: No, heyes, you're from the real streets. Huh.

620
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm from Boston.

621
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 2: Man, I'm telling you, I wish I was from Boston.

622
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 2: That would give me something to lean into out here

623
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 2: in Hollywood that I could really pop off with. You know,

624
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 2: I could do weeked Delclos Marathon.

625
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:02,480
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, that would be a great show for you.

626
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 1: What's that three am? Yeah, three am with some of

627
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 1: my favorite improvisers. Yeah, that could be good. It would

628
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 1: be really funny. I guess what else could you do?

629
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 3: He's coming back to shore, is there anything like, just

630
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:25,760
Speaker 3: like something I could say to him that would, like,

631
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 3: I don't know, calm him down or maybe get him

632
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 3: to throw up. I mean, if he's got all this

633
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 3: gaber zone in the system, something that would make him

634
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 3: the only thing.

635
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 1: That was slowing down is tell him you're ordering food.

636
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 1: Ask him what he wants.

637
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 2: That might get him to That always humanizes me is

638
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:45,480
Speaker 2: when we start speaking about meals. I could be mid

639
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 2: I could be mid diarrhea masturbation fest, but if someone

640
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 2: says I'm hitting Postmates, what do you want from l

641
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 2: poyo loco?

642
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 3: I'm in you know, Okay, he's grabbing my phone. It

643
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 3: seems like he has like a I was doing it

644
00:33:58,360 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 3: too slow. I think it is.

645
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, if he had, he has almost if if the

646
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 2: gaber zone is fully affecting him, he has almost no

647
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 2: computer skills except for like Postmates and uh, you know,

648
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 2: like weed maps and.

649
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 1: Like and like tweeting, like I just shit on my

650
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 1: dick or whatever, so like, uh, but thanks for the

651
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:28,000
Speaker 1: like my my retweet's broken. So what I was gonna

652
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:31,359
Speaker 1: say is you might want to do almost a four

653
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 1: x multiple if you're playing against one of these guys

654
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 1: who's decided to now defend his blinds in like a

655
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 1: King four off or a King five where they're just saying, oh,

656
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 1: I've got a big card and uh, and they're willing

657
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 1: to do that against some of the smaller raises, knowing

658
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 1: that people are frankly raising looser because they're getting more value,

659
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:55,839
Speaker 1: they're getting a better price. Now, how do you feel about.

660
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 3: Okay, wait, he just got a phone call. I think

661
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:03,359
Speaker 3: we're going back back to LA Maybe. I think there's

662
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 3: an audition to play a toe truck driver on one

663
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,400
Speaker 3: of those fake true TV like reality TV shows.

664
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:12,799
Speaker 1: Oh shit, that's a good day rate.

665
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 3: Those are good, very excited about that.

666
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:17,839
Speaker 1: Those are good.

667
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,720
Speaker 2: You can have Lev negotiates that his face has blurred

668
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 2: out too, so he could be like more hitting camera

669
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 2: and not really step on the other stuff he's got

670
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 2: going on.

671
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 1: Hey you know what, Hey, Gabris, what the thing you

672
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 1: just said? That sounds like me when I got asked

673
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 1: to do a little cameo and kangaroo jack. That's a

674
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 1: good day rate. And even though even though we're trying

675
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 1: to catch a maniac who's destroying the country at this point,

676
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 1: we can still have fun every when somebody writes a

677
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,440
Speaker 1: great joke like that. I mean, that's the thing.

678
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:57,239
Speaker 2: Guys like us, we're writing as we speak constantly. We

679
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:00,839
Speaker 2: could retroactively print out a conversation and better than have

680
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 2: to sketch you.

681
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:04,040
Speaker 1: Oh, it would be so good. Sometimes I read back

682
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:06,920
Speaker 1: through my email chains or my g chats and I go,

683
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:09,840
Speaker 1: someone should publish this. I should be saving it, and

684
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 1: I should just have a chain of emails with all

685
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 1: the other comedians that I'm friends with, And that would

686
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:17,840
Speaker 1: just be like so funny, and they could save it

687
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:19,839
Speaker 1: and it could be a book someday of like all

688
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 1: the funniest guys knew each other and they were on

689
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 1: these emails together. And that's how I think about my

690
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 1: own interactions with people who I'm sort of friends with.

691
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 1: But really I'm like cataloging. It is like I must

692
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:33,960
Speaker 1: be important and I have to be right or else

693
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,080
Speaker 1: what the fuck am I doing?

694
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:36,759
Speaker 2: Like, I'm not going to write something on my own,

695
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 2: but I have no qualms about editing down a bit

696
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 2: thread email into a novel.

697
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 1: Mmmm yeah, I think that could be really good and

698
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 1: I want that. I'll say it for posterity.

699
00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:49,759
Speaker 3: Gon, I'll just jump in because I totally agree with you.

700
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,960
Speaker 3: I mean, some people, you know, they might think that

701
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 3: if they were to look at like the text chape

702
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 3: between you and me, for example, it would just be

703
00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 3: you taking screenshots of your fan duel rockster for that

704
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:05,880
Speaker 3: day and setting to be just like one screenshot after another.

705
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 3: But it's actually it's.

706
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 1: Not that it's just screenshots of people's tweets.

707
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:18,399
Speaker 3: Mmmm No, none of that never tweets that it made

708
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 3: you bad. It's just the purest like comedy. It's just

709
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 3: like your joke.

710
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:26,719
Speaker 1: You know, it's just good riding and it's funny communication

711
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,840
Speaker 1: between two of the finest minds in comedy.

712
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:32,640
Speaker 2: That's your sometimes three, that's your guys rule. Right, If

713
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 2: it's really funny, you text the haze. If it's kind

714
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:37,400
Speaker 2: of funny, you tweet it. But like, you save the

715
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 2: good stuff.

716
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:40,360
Speaker 1: The best stuff I come up with always goes to

717
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 1: haze because it's like it's not for the public. They

718
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 1: wouldn't appreciate it. Some of them won't even get it.

719
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:48,799
Speaker 2: You want to want it to land on comedically trained

720
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,959
Speaker 2: ears as well. Yeah, and the siding needles that people

721
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 2: don't even see the eye of.

722
00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 1: Yes, And that's how you hone your skills. The greatest

723
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:57,719
Speaker 1: is you just keep folding the sword. I don't know

724
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 1: if you're familiar with the Japanese sword made technique where

725
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 1: you he's to steal upon the weakest points until finally

726
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:10,839
Speaker 1: the entire sheath is or not sheath late.

727
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:15,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's strong and and msuff'll send me charm. It's

728
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:18,279
Speaker 3: never you'll send me tweets being like is this good?

729
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 3: And it's never stuff that's like that. If you tweet

730
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:24,759
Speaker 3: it would be like hugely devastating for the show and

731
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:28,279
Speaker 3: make us like actual entities that like dig us into

732
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 3: a hole that we'd never be able to get out of.

733
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 3: It's always, you know, it's like, well, because I thought

734
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:35,760
Speaker 3: it would be good for the show.

735
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:38,000
Speaker 1: Well, because I come from a place of love. I

736
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 1: think all the best comedy comes from love. If anybody

737
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:42,799
Speaker 1: ever tells you, you know that, you can't make a

738
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 1: comedy about people who love each other and then uh,

739
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:51,400
Speaker 1: they're crazy. All the best comedy is warmth and uh,

740
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 1: kindness and and so I'm always approaching it that way

741
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 1: from like the sort of pure light that's inside me.

742
00:38:57,360 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 1: I think that's the gift I've been given. And No,

743
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:03,200
Speaker 1: the tweets that I send you are usually like should

744
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 1: I tweet this nice thing about this other person I

745
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:09,399
Speaker 1: think is funny? Or should I perhaps shine a light

746
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 1: on the good work this person's doing. And a lot

747
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:15,080
Speaker 1: of times you'll say not yet, but soon, Sean.

748
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, wait till they really earn it, because you tend

749
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,760
Speaker 3: to have kind of a hair trigger of that stuff.

750
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, you're a taste maker, you know, you're a tastemaker.

751
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 1: Influencer I am. I mean, that's just the bottom line.

752
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 1: You see something and you're like this looks like branded

753
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:31,560
Speaker 1: content to most people, but to me, this is going

754
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:34,840
Speaker 1: to blow up the charts. This is art, and I

755
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 1: think people would really love to see these text exchanges,

756
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 1: and of course they won't until it becomes a book someday.

757
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:44,480
Speaker 1: But you know, of course I'm sending not fandul lineups

758
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 1: and not mean tweets. And what Hayes is doing back

759
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 1: is never answering one question from two days ago, but

760
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 1: ignoring the past three questions, or texting me blind with

761
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:01,400
Speaker 1: like a half sentence, and and when I immediately respond,

762
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 1: He's just gone, That's just not the way it is.

763
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:06,880
Speaker 1: The sort of flow of conversation is. It feels like

764
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 1: you're in the room with two funny, smart guys who

765
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 1: have a great connection.

766
00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 3: I just want to I just want to say where

767
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:14,360
Speaker 3: we're at with the winn came because that is what

768
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:20,440
Speaker 3: we're talking about. So he's at home, we meet, we're

769
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 3: back in LA we's at my house. Yeah, it didn't

770
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 3: go great auditioned. He seems to think it went well,

771
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:29,759
Speaker 3: but I got it to go. Did he did?

772
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 2: He try to just go by on his charm and

773
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 2: really not look at the script because he was playing

774
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,760
Speaker 2: heroes of the storm for like nine straight hours on blizzard.

775
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,439
Speaker 3: I think he was assuming that they knew him better

776
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:42,759
Speaker 3: than they did. I think he was like kind of

777
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 3: so told that.

778
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,040
Speaker 1: Did it seem like he was told that they specifically

779
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 1: requested him, and then when he showed up, it was

780
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:49,799
Speaker 1: clear that there was no one in the room who

781
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 1: had ever seen him before.

782
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 3: Yes, I don't think Yeah, I don't think that was

783
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:54,640
Speaker 3: the case.

784
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:58,239
Speaker 1: Seems like it wouldn't be to his rep's advantage to

785
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:00,360
Speaker 1: say that they had asked for him and there was

786
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 1: no one there who actually knew him. You wonder why

787
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:04,840
Speaker 1: they did that. Maybe it was so he'd be confident,

788
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 1: But then he was too confident, too confident that's the

789
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,279
Speaker 1: way to bring down the wend to Gabris, because I

790
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:15,839
Speaker 1: am unnecessarily, some would say, unwieldly confident, and that might

791
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 1: be what the thing that will eventually take him down.

792
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:27,439
Speaker 3: He's uh, he's drinking a lot of like Whole Foods beer. Yeah.

793
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 3: I think this is always kind of moved on a

794
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 3: little bit from some of his past. You know, it's

795
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:35,840
Speaker 3: like it's like nice beer. It's like you know a

796
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:36,359
Speaker 3: little more.

797
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:39,920
Speaker 1: It's a session. It's a session. I pa like a

798
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:42,719
Speaker 1: low ABV. Is he talking about how he only does

799
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:44,799
Speaker 1: it three days a week now, Like that's a rule

800
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:49,040
Speaker 1: for him. The other days he just smokes weed?

801
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 2: Does he does he have a complicated reward system in

802
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,839
Speaker 2: which he you As you get like deeper and deeper

803
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:57,799
Speaker 2: into it, you realize he's just addicted to several different things.

804
00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 3: Yeah.

805
00:41:58,080 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 1: Does it almost seem like if you have to make

806
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 1: that many rules about it, maybe you just shouldn't be

807
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:05,759
Speaker 1: that closely involved with it at all.

808
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:09,719
Speaker 3: I get to feel like that instead of like six

809
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:13,920
Speaker 3: beers every day, it's become like twenty beers every like

810
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 3: other day.

811
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, that sounds about right. You just jam it all

812
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:19,320
Speaker 2: to Thursday through Sunday.

813
00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 3: So he's trying to make it to the couch. I

814
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 3: don't know if he's gonna get there. Yeah, he's down, Okay,

815
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 3: he is down.

816
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,320
Speaker 1: Be careful because one thing I've seen him do is

817
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:34,320
Speaker 1: if you get too close, he'll tell you a truth

818
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:37,919
Speaker 1: about yourself and you'll sort of laugh and other people

819
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:40,160
Speaker 1: will laugh at the time, but then later you'll think

820
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 1: about it and go like, is that really what I'm like?

821
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 3: Because he's laughing, he's smiling.

822
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:48,880
Speaker 1: You know, he sucks I guess this is funny, But

823
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 1: then later you're like, or is it just kind of mean?

824
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 3: Yeah?

825
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:54,640
Speaker 1: Does it have something to do with the fact that

826
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:57,760
Speaker 1: he thinks he's such a monster himself that it's okay

827
00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:02,439
Speaker 1: to say stuff like that to other people? Entrepreneur, ooh see,

828
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:05,799
Speaker 1: that's kind of stuff we have. That's that you got

829
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,839
Speaker 1: text Hayes that. Oh yeah, that will start a real

830
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 1: long thread with Hayes. That will surely be a two

831
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:11,840
Speaker 1: way street.

832
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:19,040
Speaker 2: If he's on the couch, open up Netflix, search action adventure,

833
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 2: and just put on any movie that features someone in

834
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:26,040
Speaker 2: tactical gear as the thumbnail, anyone with a helmet or

835
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:29,799
Speaker 2: a vest or goggles. Triple nine, Oh, Triple nine. He's

836
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 2: I've seen Triple I literally, it's the only thing that

837
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:42,600
Speaker 2: comforts him. Is he just puts on an action movie.

838
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 1: Now, I'm clearly and is he going to be watching

839
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:50,239
Speaker 1: it pretending that he took another path where he like

840
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:52,799
Speaker 1: was military trained or something like that. Yeah, there's a.

841
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 2: Part of it where he believes himself that he could

842
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:58,360
Speaker 2: have been easily military trained and actually his improv skills

843
00:43:58,400 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 2: would have helped him.

844
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 1: But another thing is is that action movie he used

845
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 1: to watch action movies with his dad, and that's like

846
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 1: a weird thing that he's like latched onto. So if

847
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 1: you want to just lay a Mark Bavaro Jersey out

848
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 1: on the coffee table and then put on some sort

849
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 1: of knockoff Seal Team six type movie, that might get

850
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:22,400
Speaker 1: him to slow down enough for you to trank him up.

851
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:26,239
Speaker 3: Okay, Oh wait, one last thing.

852
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:28,080
Speaker 2: If you're trying to trank him up, he has an

853
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 2: insane tolerance and he always brings it up. He's gonna

854
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 2: he's gonna keep talking about how he really can't get

855
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:35,920
Speaker 2: fucked up, just from years of trying.

856
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:41,879
Speaker 1: Oh and if Wangard's still if Wangard's still in there

857
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 1: in some way, yeah, maybe ask him if he has

858
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 1: any pitches for what someone adorable would do, you might

859
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:53,440
Speaker 1: be able to summon him out from inside the wenda. Gabris.

860
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 2: If he if he even registers adorable as a word,

861
00:44:56,160 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 2: Wangard's still alive in there. But if he if if

862
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:03,239
Speaker 2: he dances around saying the N word, it's he's all

863
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:04,400
Speaker 2: he's gone full Gabriel.

864
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:06,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, that in that case, we do have to put

865
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:06,719
Speaker 1: him down.

866
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 3: It looks like he's tried to say the edward without

867
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,759
Speaker 3: being really provoked. I haven't even provoked him in any way.

868
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,319
Speaker 1: It just looked like it's because he did a couple

869
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:19,719
Speaker 1: of seasons a while now he feels emboldened. He thinks

870
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:22,080
Speaker 1: he could do stuff like that. He has what what

871
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:26,040
Speaker 1: what John Mayer described as a hood pass. At one

872
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:34,839
Speaker 1: point he would have said that himself for me, heyes,

873
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:35,560
Speaker 1: what do you have on?

874
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:40,880
Speaker 3: Just like a windbreaker and no no shirt?

875
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:47,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's because it sounds like you're moving pretty fast.

876
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:49,360
Speaker 1: I said, he must have something cutting the wind. But

877
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:50,840
Speaker 1: I know how you hate to wear anything on.

878
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:54,560
Speaker 3: Top, well, because that's drag. That's more drag.

879
00:45:57,239 --> 00:45:59,239
Speaker 1: And then downstairs, what are we working with?

880
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:06,880
Speaker 3: Just like those like really like light mess shorts. Uh

881
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 3: and and and my toe you know my toes shoes

882
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:16,279
Speaker 3: dues that like because it's like how cavemen the.

883
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:19,400
Speaker 1: One the ones that Tina Fey and the one commercial

884
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:21,160
Speaker 1: for the credit card looks at him and is like

885
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:22,839
Speaker 1: who would wear these? And then she's like, I'll take

886
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,279
Speaker 1: two because she like done, got a bunch of money.

887
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's what that celebrates, that she has unlimited

888
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:30,239
Speaker 3: spending money.

889
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, well it's in a commercial where you know she's

890
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 2: being paid a quarter of a million dollars as if

891
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:38,439
Speaker 2: you had this credit card, then you would have made

892
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 2: as much money as someone who's had like a lot

893
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:46,879
Speaker 2: of success in an industry that overpays the people at

894
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:47,800
Speaker 2: the very top of it.

895
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's interesting.

896
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:54,360
Speaker 3: Hey why, hey, why does it? Why doesn't Thomas Midlevitch

897
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 3: get to be himself in those commercials?

898
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 1: It's just great question. It's a great, great question what

899
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:03,400
Speaker 1: is going on from Also when he he grabs that,

900
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:06,960
Speaker 1: like he's like, it's it's Franny fred or whatever, like

901
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 1: I have three of these, and it's like the fuck

902
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:14,239
Speaker 1: he talking about? Like he's like, it's collectible. She's like,

903
00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:16,640
Speaker 1: it's for my dog to eat. And so it's like,

904
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 1: what are we supposed to feel about either one of

905
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:21,600
Speaker 1: these characters. This guy like collects a weird doll that

906
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:24,840
Speaker 1: no one's ever heard of. She feeds the doll to

907
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:27,600
Speaker 1: her dog and it's a collector's item, but you can

908
00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:31,040
Speaker 1: find it at the fucking grocery store where a celebrity.

909
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 3: I think he was surprised that they use that. I

910
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:36,400
Speaker 3: think he gave them a lot of stuff that was

911
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 3: that he thought was better.

912
00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:41,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's probably right, And I bet I would think

913
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:42,359
Speaker 1: it was better.

914
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:45,400
Speaker 2: I'm sure there's people watching that commercial who know who

915
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:47,480
Speaker 2: Thomas is, don't know who Tita Fey is.

916
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:51,160
Speaker 1: Well, that's and that's demographics. And I'm always trying to

917
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:54,879
Speaker 1: split demographics. That's why you're old boys with hbo mm hmm.

918
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:59,800
Speaker 1: That's who knows that. I I want the biggest slice

919
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:03,240
Speaker 1: of the pie, baby. I want to hit as many

920
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:06,279
Speaker 1: of these demos as I can. Why I came up

921
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 1: with the quadrants five through eight, right, Oh yeah, because

922
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 1: prior to me, there was only the four quadrants, and

923
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 1: I said, I think there's four more of these things.

924
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:16,839
Speaker 1: We just can't see them yet. You know, the part

925
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 1: of Surgic for Bobby Fisher, and this is for some

926
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:20,840
Speaker 1: of my older fans, you know the part in Surgery

927
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 1: Bar and my intellectual ones who like chess where he

928
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:28,759
Speaker 1: goes he's already won. It's twelve moves away, but he

929
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:35,399
Speaker 1: can see it. I'm like that with quadrants, very easy

930
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 1: to follow them. I've already accessed all these demos. People

931
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:41,719
Speaker 1: that don't even that don't even realize they're in a

932
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:44,400
Speaker 1: demo are being accessed by Sean on a daily basis.

933
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:46,880
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. And I use a lot of coded language.

934
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:49,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're the one who You're the one who explained

935
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:54,480
Speaker 2: to me about Vietnamese scooters. Yeah, guys who Vietnamese guys

936
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:56,960
Speaker 2: who ride scooters is a demographic in and of itself.

937
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,360
Speaker 1: That's and that's NLP. I mean that whole time I

938
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 1: was controlling you. That's no linguistic programming that because if

939
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:05,799
Speaker 1: you remember, I kept saying, like, and when they gas

940
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 1: up their scooter, they have to penetrate the tank with

941
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:10,480
Speaker 1: the nozzle. And the fact that I was able to

942
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:13,760
Speaker 1: just casually work in the word penetrate got you thinking

943
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:15,120
Speaker 1: about sex, right.

944
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:16,960
Speaker 2: And then that's why I remembered it. Because now whenever

945
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 2: I think of a Vietnamese guy on a scooter, I

946
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 2: get a tingling in that ball fucking horned out, Yeah,

947
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:24,120
Speaker 2: I get real revd up. Yeah, And we all feel

948
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:27,280
Speaker 2: a little horned out right now. And that's the effect

949
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 2: I'm looking for with my podcast that Hayes does too. Hayes,

950
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 2: if you coming, I just realized something. If you become

951
00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:36,920
Speaker 2: like in a tight bind with this Wenda Gabris, something

952
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:38,600
Speaker 2: you could bring up that really hurts him is that

953
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:42,200
Speaker 2: he is only half Italian, like he does kind of

954
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:44,759
Speaker 2: use it identity wise because he's like a big guy

955
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:47,319
Speaker 2: with like but you can really take him down by

956
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:49,920
Speaker 2: saying like, oh you're why isn't your last name an

957
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:50,600
Speaker 2: Italian name?

958
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 1: You know you can?

959
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:54,759
Speaker 3: I mean, I got the Mark Bavaro Jersey. How he's

960
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:57,799
Speaker 3: watching the movie, It just seems like he's going back

961
00:49:57,840 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 3: a time a little bit. I don't think this is

962
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:01,759
Speaker 3: the time to bring that up.

963
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 1: Okay, let it if he's if he soothed, let the

964
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:05,480
Speaker 1: beast slumber.

965
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:10,000
Speaker 3: What I what I have also tried to do is

966
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:12,839
Speaker 3: I put on Sean said An LP, and that gave

967
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:16,640
Speaker 3: me the idea to put on Guided by Voices LP.

968
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:19,279
Speaker 3: And that is sort of bringing out Whangard a little

969
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 3: bit more. They're like, there's some there's a lot of vinyl.

970
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:24,640
Speaker 3: It's Wanger's house that there's a lot of.

971
00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:26,800
Speaker 1: Like, what is it nice? B thousand?

972
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 3: It's B thousand. Yeah, he's listening to the gold Heart

973
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:37,280
Speaker 3: Mountaintop Queen directory uh and uh it is it's getting

974
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:39,960
Speaker 3: him sad and excited.

975
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 1: That could pull Wangard out, That could pull Joe out

976
00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:46,840
Speaker 1: of there. Well in the meantime, while we wait to

977
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:50,200
Speaker 1: see if that finally does work, for sure, you got

978
00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:52,560
Speaker 1: anything coming up John, and don't be afraid to mix

979
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:58,120
Speaker 1: in newspaper comics with your answer. Well, I'm just always

980
00:50:58,200 --> 00:51:00,480
Speaker 1: using my imagination like Calvin.

981
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:02,840
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and I've always had when I when I

982
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 2: read Calvin Hobbs, I put myself in the mind of

983
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:05,720
Speaker 2: Calvin Hobbs.

984
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:08,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's go exploring, old buddy. Oh god.

985
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:09,239
Speaker 3: Yeah.

986
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 1: If I were to get one tattoo besides the outline

987
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:13,800
Speaker 1: of Long Island on the inside of my left bicet,

988
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:19,360
Speaker 1: I think I would get Calvin Yeah, pissing on the

989
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:22,600
Speaker 1: New England Patriots logo. But because that's like two things

990
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:26,839
Speaker 1: for me. Yeah, that could be really good. That could

991
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 1: be a great tattoo.

992
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:31,359
Speaker 3: The show theoretically have him pissing on your own dick.

993
00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:33,120
Speaker 3: I don't know exactly what that would be, but it

994
00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:34,440
Speaker 3: could be kind of interesting.

995
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:35,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I could get it.

996
00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:38,680
Speaker 2: That would be nice, Like he's like standing above my

997
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:40,440
Speaker 2: pubes pissing onto my dick.

998
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:45,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's actually fucking cool. And it, you know, reminds

999
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 1: us that you still keep that child like innocence and

1000
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:51,120
Speaker 1: imagination that you first had when you were reading those

1001
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:54,000
Speaker 1: Calvin comics, because you were able to sort of come

1002
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:56,960
Speaker 1: up with a fun, creative way to have an adventure

1003
00:51:57,040 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 1: on your own body by making Calvin piss on your own.

1004
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:03,200
Speaker 2: And I keep that Calvin attitude of imagination and wonder

1005
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:05,239
Speaker 2: with me now in the business. I'm not at all

1006
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:10,200
Speaker 2: calculating or stressed or overthinking every single move I make

1007
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:13,040
Speaker 2: in my career. I'm just sitting here going open up

1008
00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:15,280
Speaker 2: my mind. Let's go exploring, old buddy.

1009
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:20,399
Speaker 1: It's just about fun for you, which I've always admired

1010
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:27,360
Speaker 1: that you are not willing to fuck over literally anyone

1011
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:34,919
Speaker 1: to get even an infinitesmal immeasurably small amount ahead. You're

1012
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 1: not running sort of terminator like calculations by scanning the

1013
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:43,600
Speaker 1: room with like a terminator two vision of people's IMDb

1014
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:46,640
Speaker 1: star meter in front of you, saying, oh, who's the

1015
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:49,120
Speaker 1: person that could someday be the most helpful to me,

1016
00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:53,400
Speaker 1: and inadvertently alienating anyone you've ever had a close relationship with.

1017
00:52:53,680 --> 00:52:57,279
Speaker 2: If you don't have the Twitter followers written on the

1018
00:52:57,360 --> 00:52:59,279
Speaker 2: inside of your forearm with sharpie when you go to

1019
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:01,800
Speaker 2: a holiday park like that kind of stuff like I

1020
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 2: don't do any of that.

1021
00:53:03,239 --> 00:53:05,759
Speaker 1: No, yeah, you don't do it, and and and I

1022
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 1: don't think you should. Although a lot of people do,

1023
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:10,960
Speaker 1: and uh, it's not part of the business.

1024
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:13,719
Speaker 2: I take Calvin and Hobbes and I just bring that

1025
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:16,560
Speaker 2: into my life. I extrapolated out to just live in that.

1026
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1027
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:20,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm about Calvin and Hobbes too, And that's why

1028
00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 1: a lot of times I'll at three in the morning

1029
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,960
Speaker 1: text you when we haven't spoken in months, like a

1030
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:32,840
Speaker 1: photo of us from I don't fucking know. When I

1031
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:37,560
Speaker 1: coached Tantrum, just everybody.

1032
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:43,719
Speaker 3: What's up pace, I just kind of felt like I

1033
00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 3: should jump in. Uh, although thank you, not a lot more,

1034
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:54,319
Speaker 3: not a lot more. Is it's happening here? We ran

1035
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:58,520
Speaker 3: too much at the beginning of the sort of that

1036
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 3: was the idea going in, but it ended up being

1037
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 3: too much, not for not for any like great reward.

1038
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:07,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, not able to really sustain the pace and then

1039
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:11,120
Speaker 1: not really contribute as much as you would because of

1040
00:54:11,239 --> 00:54:14,520
Speaker 1: the initial pace. Right, Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah,

1041
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:17,640
Speaker 1: Well that happens, and uh, you know, everyone forgives the

1042
00:54:17,680 --> 00:54:19,960
Speaker 1: wenda Gabers. Sounds like he fell asleep and what you

1043
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:21,719
Speaker 1: can do is just sort of drill a hole in

1044
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:24,000
Speaker 1: his skull and extract a lot of that hormone.

1045
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:29,440
Speaker 2: If he wakes up, just place some superst or some

1046
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:33,319
Speaker 2: salaam under his tongue and show him an old video,

1047
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:36,640
Speaker 2: show an old video of him weightlifting and remind him

1048
00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:37,440
Speaker 2: of the better times.

1049
00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:41,600
Speaker 1: M hm, he deadlifted a keg. I remember him deadlifting

1050
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:45,600
Speaker 1: kegs a lot, So you know that's something we could

1051
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:46,239
Speaker 1: take a look at.

1052
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 3: He's whispering about as alsatia and in his sleep. But

1053
00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 3: just I'm glad I didn't bring up the Italian.

1054
00:54:55,040 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 1: That's soothing him. Yeah, yeah, take away talk about a

1055
00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:05,480
Speaker 1: ghoul stuff, Hays. You know, did you want to plug anything?

1056
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:07,480
Speaker 2: No?

1057
00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:08,919
Speaker 3: No, no, never.

1058
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:11,240
Speaker 1: I guess I would say, if we're gonna plug, you've

1059
00:55:11,239 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 1: never done that. I oh, you know what I was

1060
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:16,360
Speaker 1: gonna do? Can I plug something real quick? Can I

1061
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 1: plug something real quick? My nose? Because you've freaking uh,

1062
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:24,359
Speaker 1: Brett's laid one. No, but John, what do you want

1063
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:24,640
Speaker 1: to say?

1064
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:28,000
Speaker 2: Check out the newspaper comics episode of High a Mighty.

1065
00:55:28,080 --> 00:55:29,960
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, thanks, doing really well.

1066
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:33,200
Speaker 3: Lately.

1067
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:35,040
Speaker 1: It's on the up, Jeck.

1068
00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:39,800
Speaker 3: I I thought we had reached ut sort of a peak,

1069
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:41,319
Speaker 3: but no, it just keeps going.

1070
00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:44,040
Speaker 1: And uh, and Brett, did you want to plug anything?

1071
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 1: I'm wanna plug my butt? This diarrhea. That's that's almost

1072
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:50,840
Speaker 1: the exact sense.

1073
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:53,120
Speaker 2: The one nown you chose as the predicated of that

1074
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:54,840
Speaker 2: stuff was so incorrect.

1075
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:56,080
Speaker 1: That's so stupid.

1076
00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 3: You want to plug it. You want to plug it

1077
00:55:57,680 --> 00:55:58,560
Speaker 3: with diarrhea.

1078
00:55:58,960 --> 00:56:00,960
Speaker 2: So is it like a dobo, like you want to

1079
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:03,879
Speaker 2: use grass mixed with like diarrhea makes some sort of clay.

1080
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:06,160
Speaker 1: I mean, this is so gross, and I never do

1081
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:08,640
Speaker 1: this when John's not here, but it's like, did you

1082
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:10,360
Speaker 1: freeze a job of diarrhea?

1083
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:13,440
Speaker 2: And then are you using diarrhea as sort of like

1084
00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:16,120
Speaker 2: a spackle, like a loose sackle cock?

1085
00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:29,880
Speaker 1: Ba again, Bye bye Bye. Hollywood Handbook is brought to

1086
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:35,239
Speaker 1: you by Wolf Cool Productions, to subsidiary of calvinobs Ow

1087
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Speaker 1: Baby