1 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:05,800 Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, this is Dr Joy from the Therapy for 2 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:12,880 Speaker 1: Black Girls podcast, and this it's a booster session. As 3 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: a reminder, the information included is meant to be educational 4 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:19,919 Speaker 1: and entertaining, but it is not a substitute for a 5 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:27,480 Speaker 1: relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey y'all, it's 6 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 1: Dr Joy and I'm back with another booster session. So 7 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,479 Speaker 1: if you caught Insecure last night, you probably knew that 8 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,879 Speaker 1: I would have some thoughts I wanted to share, and 9 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:41,160 Speaker 1: I definitely did. Last night's episode was a really good one, 10 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,559 Speaker 1: and I have feelings about quite a few things. But 11 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 1: for this booster session, I wanted to specifically talk about 12 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:50,920 Speaker 1: the fact that we saw Molly in another session with 13 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:55,000 Speaker 1: her therapists. Yeah, she's still in therapy, and she's talking 14 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 1: about how she doesn't feel like she's getting her props 15 00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: at the new law firm, and she comments that she 16 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:02,880 Speaker 1: doesn't want to keep getting caught up in situations that 17 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:07,040 Speaker 1: don't move her forward, like that situation Withdrew. And at 18 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: that moment, we hear a record scratch as her therapist asked, 19 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 1: who's Drow? So y'all know, I found that hilarious because 20 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: it's actually not at all made up. There definitely are 21 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 1: times when clients will leave out seemingly huge pieces of 22 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: the puzzle that opens up an entirely new dimension for 23 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:30,520 Speaker 1: the work. So I wanted to share briefly about two 24 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 1: reasons you might not be being honest with your therapists 25 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:38,360 Speaker 1: and how you can change that, because, of course, if 26 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 1: you're not being honest, then you're not getting everything you 27 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:47,080 Speaker 1: could be getting out of the therapeutic experience. So the 28 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,440 Speaker 1: first reason you might be withholding a part of the 29 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: story from your therapist is that you're afraid of their judgment. 30 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,760 Speaker 1: And if this is the case, I want you to 31 00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: ask yourself what's making you feel like they would actually 32 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: judge you. Is it something they've actually done, or are 33 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:09,240 Speaker 1: you projecting stuff from other relationships onto your therapist. If 34 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 1: you're projecting that, I'd like to challenge you to try 35 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 1: something new within the confines of this relationship and see 36 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 1: if you have a different outcome. A part of what 37 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 1: makes therapy effective is the creation of a space that 38 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:26,080 Speaker 1: is non judgmental. So it's the perfect time for you 39 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:28,639 Speaker 1: to try a new behavior and for you and your 40 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:31,560 Speaker 1: therapists to be able to check in about how it feels. 41 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:36,120 Speaker 1: People have often asked how are we as therapists able 42 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 1: to be non judgmental, and a large part of it 43 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:44,080 Speaker 1: is training and knowing how to hold something that others 44 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:47,400 Speaker 1: might judge you for as the space where the work 45 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:51,079 Speaker 1: needs to happen. We're not doing our job if we're 46 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,280 Speaker 1: using the pain you come into therapy with as a 47 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:57,840 Speaker 1: tool to shame you, so in essence, we're not doing 48 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:01,519 Speaker 1: effective work. So that's my suggestion for how you might 49 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,400 Speaker 1: make changes if fear of judgment is keeping you from 50 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:08,919 Speaker 1: being completely honest with your therapist. The second reason you 51 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,960 Speaker 1: might be withholding the truth from your therapists is that 52 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,760 Speaker 1: you're not really ready to make changes in a certain 53 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 1: area of your life. You might be surprised by this, 54 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:22,079 Speaker 1: but it's actually not uncommon for people to come to 55 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:25,440 Speaker 1: us with quite a bit of ambivalence about making changes 56 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 1: in their life, even if they feel like at some 57 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: point they would benefit from the change. So in this instance, 58 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 1: our job as the therapist might be to sit with 59 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 1: you in the ambivalence and explore it to see if 60 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,839 Speaker 1: that helps you to move into an action stage, and 61 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 1: to see what barriers might be getting in the way 62 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:49,600 Speaker 1: of you moving to action. If this is the reason 63 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:53,360 Speaker 1: you're withholding information from your therapist, I'd encourage you to 64 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:57,480 Speaker 1: share exactly how you're feeling and have a conversation about 65 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: what fears, concerns are trepidations you have about how your 66 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:06,640 Speaker 1: life might be different if you did something different. I mean, 67 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 1: we have to be honest. Even when we change for 68 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 1: the better, transitions can still be really hard, so it's 69 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:17,160 Speaker 1: understandable that sometimes it takes a while to move into action. 70 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:21,400 Speaker 1: So I'm curious to hear if you had experiences with 71 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 1: not being completely honest with your therapist. Was it for 72 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 1: one of the reasons I shared or something else. Let 73 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 1: me know on social media using the hashtag tv G 74 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,479 Speaker 1: in session. Thank you all so much for joining me 75 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:38,080 Speaker 1: for another booth of session, and I'll chat with you soon. Bye, 76 00:04:55,000 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 1: m Fie.