Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello Chelsea Handler. My name is Chelsea Handler.
Speaker 1: H A and D L E R. Hey.
Speaker 3: Sure is how are you doing?
Speaker 2: I'm ready, I'm ready. I'm ready for our show. I
Speaker 2: have the Critics' Choice Awards tomorrow night. Everyone can watch
Speaker 2: those on E What else do oh? I have exciting
Speaker 2: new lemonade coming out, you guys. I partnered with a
Speaker 2: lemonade brand called Well, a vodka brand, well a boozy
Speaker 2: brand called Owls Brew.
Speaker 1: They're female founders. So I found these two women.
Speaker 2: You know, like, I've been trying to come up with
Speaker 2: an alcoholic drink for many, many years, but the alcohol industry,
Speaker 2: like many industries, is so male dominated that anytime I
Speaker 2: would get far along in an idea, there would be
Speaker 2: some massive hiccup and it just didn't work. And there
Speaker 2: if you've read my book, well you haven't read my
Speaker 2: book yet because my book is not out comes out
Speaker 2: February twenty fifth, so pre order it. I'll have what
Speaker 2: she's having. It comes out on my fiftieth birthday. Please
Speaker 2: celebrate with me. Your gift to me is you pre
Speaker 2: ordering my book. We want to encourage all of our
Speaker 2: book club readers to have Boozy book clubs. So we
Speaker 2: partnered with Owls Brew and we came up with three
Speaker 2: vodka lemonades. There's Classic, which is yellow, then there's Pink,
Speaker 2: and then there is Mint lemonade. So we have three
Speaker 2: really smooth, non carbonated flavors. There are only one hundred
Speaker 2: dollars a can, I'm sorry, one hundred calories a can,
Speaker 2: and they're delicious.
Speaker 1: I vouched for them.
Speaker 2: I went in for the tastings and we found something
Speaker 2: and it took almost no time. It is so much
Speaker 2: nicer working with women. It literally took one tasting day.
Speaker 2: I mean I had spent hours and days with these
Speaker 2: other previous companies.
Speaker 1: Many years ago. I had given up on this idea.
Speaker 2: But when you do read my book, you will see
Speaker 2: why there is a vodka lemonade tie in because I had.
Speaker 2: I was an entrepreneur at a very young age, and
Speaker 2: I open up a lemonade stand, and then when I
Speaker 2: realized how much money I'd be making, I decided that
Speaker 2: I needed a larger margin of profit and opened up
Speaker 2: a hard lemonade stand.
Speaker 1: Perfect. So now we are.
Speaker 2: It is called Chelsea Handler's Vodka Lemonade from Owlsbrew.
Speaker 1: They are hitting the shelves this month.
Speaker 2: You can also order it online at the Owlsbrew dot com,
Speaker 2: or you can go.
Speaker 1: To your local stores.
Speaker 2: They're at in lots of stores all across the country.
Speaker 2: So yes, Owlsbrew, Chelsea Handler's vod Colemonade.
Speaker 1: Please for your book clubs.
Speaker 2: I mean obviously for your personal life and having a
Speaker 2: great time too, but for your book clubs when you're
Speaker 2: getting together to read my book. I really want you
Speaker 2: guys to enjoy Owlsbrew with the book that's fasting, and
Speaker 2: we're gonna have it all my book signings. We're gonna
Speaker 2: have Owlsbrew.
Speaker 1: Awesome.
Speaker 4: You're never this excited about things.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 2: I am excited because it's so delicious. My publicist, who
Speaker 2: barely drinks it all, she's like, I love this. She
Speaker 2: sends me a picture every night. She's like, I have
Speaker 2: one every night before I go to bed. I'm like, okay, well,
Speaker 2: you're a different kind of drinker than I am.
Speaker 1: Fantastic.
Speaker 2: Also, I'll be on Oh yeah, this is Critics Choice Award.
Speaker 2: The Critics Choice Awards are tomorrow night. I don't know
Speaker 2: what time for anything in the afternoon, seven eastern maybe, yes,
Speaker 2: something like that, seven pm Eastern on the E Network.
Speaker 1: Well, we have a fun guest this week.
Speaker 2: You have a very fun guest today speaking of vodka
Speaker 2: and Elton star Heloton star Cody Rigsby. He is our Well,
Speaker 2: he's a Peloton guru, dancer, author and host of the
Speaker 2: Tactful Pettiness podcast. Please welcome a person I've worked out
Speaker 2: with several times.
Speaker 1: Cody Rigsby.
Speaker 6: Hi, Cody Rigsby, Chelsea b very honest, like, do you
Speaker 6: have any idea who I am?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I do?
Speaker 3: You do?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I do Peloton all the time.
Speaker 3: Oh you do.
Speaker 1: I appreciate the question, though You're not wrong to ask that,
Speaker 1: and I would.
Speaker 6: Have been offended. I adore you. I used to watch
Speaker 6: your show in college with my boyfriend, and I've read
Speaker 6: your book and I just and I love that you're
Speaker 6: an advocate for not having kids, although I have turned
Speaker 6: the corner on that. I think I might want them,
Speaker 6: but I'm not sure.
Speaker 1: Are you pregnant?
Speaker 3: I will be in a few days.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's very premonitionary, premonitionary.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that really flew right out of my mouth. I
Speaker 1: was unexpected.
Speaker 2: That is premonitionary means like my friend has premonitionary dreams.
Speaker 1: She dreams about some things and then they happen.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: No, I just know that I'm going to fuck someone
Speaker 3: this weekend.
Speaker 1: So, but you can't get pregnant in the tush sheet, Cody.
Speaker 1: I talk about this.
Speaker 3: You know, the modern medicine. You never know.
Speaker 2: I eventually, I feel like we're around the corner from
Speaker 2: men being able to carry a baby. I know, we've
Speaker 2: had a couple of male people carry babies that had
Speaker 2: transitioned and kept transition from female to men, and then
Speaker 2: they were able to carry a baby.
Speaker 1: Because they still had their what do you need to
Speaker 1: carry baby? A uterus?
Speaker 3: Something like that.
Speaker 2: But I feel like men are going to have become
Speaker 2: obsolete if they don't come up with something, you know,
Speaker 2: like straight straight men. Obviously gay men are fine, you know,
Speaker 2: in my view, but straight men are going to have
Speaker 2: to bring more to the table because people are getting
Speaker 2: pregnant with or without them. You know, there are animals
Speaker 2: that parthenogenesis. We've talked about this, where you can get pregnant.
Speaker 2: It happened to an anaconda. She got pregnant without a male.
Speaker 2: It happened to a condor, a bird. Yeah what, uh huh,
Speaker 2: It's happened to like a lot of not a lot,
Speaker 2: but it's definitely happened, and it happened twice in zoos,
Speaker 2: so they had no exposure to the male species and
Speaker 2: they were able to just fertilize their own eggs.
Speaker 4: Jurassic perk here we come.
Speaker 1: Yeah, haven't I talked to you about this? Okay?
Speaker 2: So my friend Emily told me about this a long
Speaker 2: time ago because I was doing it in my stand
Speaker 2: up and then nobody really seemed to understand what the
Speaker 2: fuck I was talking about. So then I just started
Speaker 2: researching it more.
Speaker 1: But yes, you can.
Speaker 2: Like, we aren't a thousand years evolutionarily behind animals, So
Speaker 2: if animals are procreating without the help of sperm, there
Speaker 2: is a chance in the next one thousand years that
Speaker 2: the human species might be there, especially if the straight
Speaker 2: white men keep.
Speaker 1: Acting like this. I love that, do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean?
Speaker 2: So anyway, back to your pregnancy congratulations in a few days,
Speaker 2: I guess, how does it feel, Cody to become a
Speaker 2: well known person as an exercise instructor? First and foremost, like,
Speaker 2: you couldn't have planned that, right?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 3: No, not, I did not plan that at all.
Speaker 6: You know, I've been working at Peloton for ten years now,
Speaker 6: and I just thought it was gonna be a side
Speaker 6: gig because I was tired of being a cater waiter
Speaker 6: and working late nights at a fucking nightclub. And it's
Speaker 6: absolutely changed my life and I'm so glad that I
Speaker 6: get to like help people be their best self while
Speaker 6: being a little silly gaybley and a bike.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I mean it's a real I mean, you
Speaker 2: really do have a different spin on the class no pun.
Speaker 1: Intended, pun intended.
Speaker 2: You do, like have great energy, great vibes. You make
Speaker 2: the classes fun. I know people talk about you and
Speaker 2: how much they love taking your class.
Speaker 1: So good for you. That's fucking awesomesbabe.
Speaker 6: Yeah. Sometimes I'm like, you know, when I get into
Speaker 6: maybe my politician era, maybe when I run for Senate,
Speaker 6: Like it will definitely be on my campaign.
Speaker 2: Speech in Texas. You should run in Texas first, I
Speaker 2: think I.
Speaker 6: Should, you know, that should be my goal. I'll just
Speaker 6: be I think they called that a carpetbag. Is that
Speaker 6: what they called her back in the.
Speaker 1: Day, carpet bagger? But if that's if you go from
Speaker 1: the north to the south, Yeah, maybe, so.
Speaker 2: Let's look up carpet bagger. You guys, we need to
Speaker 2: get to the bottom of this.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, it is a person from the Northern States
Speaker 3: who went to the South after the Civil War to
Speaker 3: profit from the reconstruction, so.
Speaker 1: Than what we saw.
Speaker 2: But it's a double whammy because they went to go
Speaker 2: profit from reconstruction. So they were like, oh, oh, I see,
Speaker 2: I see.
Speaker 1: So it's not that bad. It's bad on one level. Okay,
Speaker 1: got it.
Speaker 6: So when I go on my my my senate speech,
Speaker 6: I'm definitely going to be like what only in America
Speaker 6: could Like could a cycling instructor make it into the
Speaker 6: pop cultures guys to be successful at.
Speaker 2: Them and then become a senator in Texas? I mean,
Speaker 2: I feel the trajectory for you, passionately.
Speaker 1: All of a sudden.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, someone's got to take out to a
Speaker 3: cruise one of these day.
Speaker 1: God God willing, When the hell is that gonna happen?
Speaker 3: I don't unfortunately, not anytime soon.
Speaker 2: Question for you, Cody, you grew up where you grew
Speaker 2: up in the south right north North Carolina.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so I was born in Los Angeles. I moved
Speaker 6: to North Carolina and when I was eight by yourself.
Speaker 1: You moved by yourself at eight.
Speaker 3: Just me, I got in a car and drove through.
Speaker 6: Now, me and my mom and like our three cats
Speaker 6: and two dogs in a beat up Chrysler just packed
Speaker 6: it across the country and headed to North Carolina.
Speaker 1: And how was that transition?
Speaker 3: I definitely cried when we arrived there.
Speaker 6: There was no sidewalks where I could roller blade, and
Speaker 6: then you know, the tons of homophobia and racism that's
Speaker 6: in the South didn't settle well with my soul. So
Speaker 6: it was for an interesting upbringing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I bet that wasn't a nice transition. It's not
Speaker 2: fun to go to the South once you've been exposed
Speaker 2: to the North.
Speaker 6: Well, in all honesty, though, because I was in Los Angeles,
Speaker 6: I like, looking back in retrospect, I am grateful that
Speaker 6: I grew up in North Carolina. I think it would
Speaker 6: have been It's a simpler sort of life besides the
Speaker 6: homophobia and the racism. I think if I'd landed in
Speaker 6: stayed in LA maybe things wouldn't have been great.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like.
Speaker 2: The homophobia and racism is just different in different areas.
Speaker 2: Like I feel like it is very pervasive, but it's
Speaker 2: not allowed to show. It's like a face, you know,
Speaker 2: in certain parts of the country, even though it still exists,
Speaker 2: just like misogyny and all of.
Speaker 1: The stuff kind of exists everywhere.
Speaker 2: But I once heard someone say, like, oh, everyone thinks
Speaker 2: the South is so racist, but Southern people are able
Speaker 2: to like cohabitate and live next to people that are
Speaker 2: different from them without having it be a big deal,
Speaker 2: whereas in the northern cities we do self segregate. Like
Speaker 2: if you come to La you see that it's so segregated. Right,
Speaker 2: There's like Korea Town, there's Chinatown. Everybody kind of lives
Speaker 2: in there. Part of the thing, which isn't exactly what
Speaker 2: we're aiming for either.
Speaker 1: Anyway.
Speaker 2: Cody, back to you, I hear that you have you
Speaker 2: have a long term relationship, right.
Speaker 6: Uh no, well I did, but that ended about four
Speaker 6: months ago.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm glad I could bring that up.
Speaker 6: Then, you know what, I'm in such a good place
Speaker 6: with it. It was a six year relationship. We broke
Speaker 6: up once before for like six months, and I think
Speaker 6: that really affected the way that the second breakup happened.
Speaker 6: And I had a really hard first month with it,
Speaker 6: and then I accepted it and I've been living my life.
Speaker 2: Well, wait, can I ask you about that though, Like,
Speaker 2: tell me, how do you think the first six month
Speaker 2: breakup impacted the second breakup?
Speaker 3: That's a great question.
Speaker 6: I think in the first breakup, I was taking a
Speaker 6: lot of responsibility for like my wrongdoing, and so I
Speaker 6: just felt like I needed another chance to give it
Speaker 6: a go and I could fix it and do all
Speaker 6: these things. And I think upon having another year and
Speaker 6: a half together where I was able to like go
Speaker 6: to couple's therapy and do all the things and it
Speaker 6: still wasn't working, I think I landed in this space
Speaker 6: of just us not being able to meet our needs.
Speaker 6: And as much as that hurts, and as much as
Speaker 6: like I didn't make the decision, it was the best decision.
Speaker 6: I also really dove into the book Attached, which goes
Speaker 6: into attachment styles within relationship.
Speaker 1: Yes, I've read that book. That's a good book.
Speaker 3: It's a great book. And like I'm anxiously attached.
Speaker 6: He's avoided and that's just like water and oil, and
Speaker 6: like it's possible, but it's just going to bring up
Speaker 6: a lot of confrontation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder if it's ever possible to change your
Speaker 2: attachment style.
Speaker 6: It is so half of the population is secure and
Speaker 6: then one fourth. One fourth is avoidant, one fourth is anxious,
Speaker 6: and the goal is to put into practice self awareness
Speaker 6: and things in your life that you then become securely attached.
Speaker 2: Okay, because that's interesting because I remember being in a
Speaker 2: relationship where I was very anxious, not avoidant, anxious, and
Speaker 2: now I and I'm definitely not anxious anymore, Like with
Speaker 2: any relationship, I'm just secure because probably because I've done
Speaker 2: the therapy and God to understand myself in a much
Speaker 2: better way.
Speaker 1: Which feels a lot better.
Speaker 2: There's nothing worse than feeling the preoccupation of anxiety about
Speaker 2: a relationship, checking your phone, wondering if they're going to
Speaker 2: show up when they say they're going to show up,
Speaker 2: and having all those kind of negative thought cycles around
Speaker 2: a relationship.
Speaker 6: And yeah, you are secure because you know yourself, you
Speaker 6: know your boundaries, you know your worth, and when those
Speaker 6: things aren't being met, you know how to be like, hey,
Speaker 6: this isn't for.
Speaker 2: Me, absolutely, And there's really not a lot of like
Speaker 2: gray area anymore.
Speaker 1: For me.
Speaker 2: It's like I don't care if something works out or
Speaker 2: it doesn't. I don't I'm not invested that much into anything.
Speaker 2: Even if I were to fall in love with someone.
Speaker 2: I can't imagine getting so preoccupied at this stage in
Speaker 2: my life with like a lover. So that feels a
Speaker 2: lot healthier too, and very mature, and I've never felt
Speaker 2: mature until I was in my forties.
Speaker 3: I aspire, I aspired to be you in that situation.
Speaker 1: So you have a new podcast coming out?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 6: No, Me and my friend Andrew Chappelle have launched Tackle Pettiness.
Speaker 6: We actually just shot We just recorded an episode today.
Speaker 6: It's been out since June. So if anybody wants to
Speaker 6: listen to Tackle Pettiness, get it.
Speaker 3: Where your podcasts are gotten?
Speaker 1: What platform are you guys.
Speaker 3: On on Apple and Spotify?
Speaker 2: Okay, great, So what do you guys give advice on
Speaker 2: the podcast?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, we kind of go through like you know, cultural moments,
Speaker 6: anything that's topical, and then and then we try to focus
Speaker 6: on like a relationship topic like today was like fighting.
Speaker 6: We also did travel last week, which was a lot
Speaker 6: of a lot of fun. And we take like listeners
Speaker 6: questions dish out advice like only two opinionated homosexuals can
Speaker 6: that's nice.
Speaker 1: That's nice. And your partner on the podcast, what's his name?
Speaker 6: Andrew Chappelle, who was an actor, Broadway actor, TV actor. Okay,
Speaker 6: one of the funniest people.
Speaker 1: I know, one of the funniest people. You know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's nice. Can go round around with can go
Speaker 3: round to a round with me?
Speaker 1: Huh? How did you guys hook up?
Speaker 3: You know, just being gay in New York City.
Speaker 6: We've known each other for probably a decade at this point,
Speaker 6: like a friend of a friend and going out on
Speaker 6: Fire Island, and you know, our friendship is kind of
Speaker 6: interesting because he was one of those people that I
Speaker 6: didn't like at first, you know, like where you kind
Speaker 6: of give a little side eye and you're like, I
Speaker 6: don't like this bitch. And those usually are the foundations
Speaker 6: for great friendships because once you get past that initial
Speaker 6: that little initial bitchiness, and then you see that you
Speaker 6: have so much in common, it's like, oh, I don't
Speaker 6: know why I thought you were so horrible, because you're awesome.
Speaker 1: I yeah, I agree with that.
Speaker 3: Ye.
Speaker 2: I always have stronger relationships where it's a kind of
Speaker 2: slow burn. I think the idea of making a great
Speaker 2: first impression, I don't buy that, Like, I don't think
Speaker 2: that matters as much, you know, Like I don't think
Speaker 2: every first of all people aren't who they are when
Speaker 2: you first meet them. Usually exactly, everyone's kind of, you know,
Speaker 2: being on their best behavior or trying to show off
Speaker 2: or trying to be I have a problem where people
Speaker 2: try to be funny around me all the time, and.
Speaker 1: I find that extremely annoying, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Like when I'm in at airport or someone's on a
Speaker 2: plane next to me, they'll lean over and be like
Speaker 2: and I'm like, no, no, it's not like that. I'm like,
Speaker 2: I don't need you to entertain me.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: Or they'll say they'll have conversations that they know I'm
Speaker 2: in earshot of saying things they know that I'll like
Speaker 2: that I'm in accordance with or agreement with.
Speaker 1: I also find that exhausting.
Speaker 2: I wish people would just be normal, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean, Like, you don't have to make me laugh,
Speaker 2: just talk to me.
Speaker 6: But whenever you're hanging out with and I'll tell you
Speaker 6: the reason I'm thinking this, Like, whenever you hang out
Speaker 6: with like comedians or people that are in your field,
Speaker 6: do you feel like they're spitballing and trying to make
Speaker 6: you laugh or trying to like get in with it.
Speaker 3: Does that make sense?
Speaker 1: I mean, my friends brought it up the other day.
Speaker 2: She goes, it's really annoying being around you in a
Speaker 2: bunch of other comics because everybody's just trying to be
Speaker 2: so funny, And I'm like, oh, yeah, I would imagine
Speaker 2: that would be annoying without being a comedian.
Speaker 1: But I also don't pick up on that, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, because that's natural. They're comedians.
Speaker 2: But when regular people try to be funny sometimes it's
Speaker 2: very painful, you know.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh.
Speaker 6: God, I only say that because I did as a dancer.
Speaker 6: I did SNL twice and I remember being on the
Speaker 6: set and I was just like, oh my god. These guys,
Speaker 6: like especially the guys, they were just like constantly trying
Speaker 6: to outdo each other with the funniness. And I was
Speaker 6: like enough, Like I'm just a little out dancer extra,
Speaker 6: but like enough.
Speaker 2: That's fun that you were on that you Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: you weren't Dancing with the Stars.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Dancing with the Stars as well.
Speaker 1: How was that experience.
Speaker 6: I'm so grateful that I did it, but it was
Speaker 6: honestly one of the most challenging and like things I've
Speaker 6: ever done, and one of the things that beat me
Speaker 6: down so much physically and mentally and emotionally. But I'm
Speaker 6: so glad that I did it, and it was so
Speaker 6: good for my career, and they couldn't pay me enough money.
Speaker 3: To do it again.
Speaker 1: But why did it beat you down emotionally so much?
Speaker 5: You know?
Speaker 3: Okay, So a lot of my famer notoriety came through
Speaker 3: the pandemic, and I was kind of encapsulated in this
Speaker 3: like digital space and not really being on my own
Speaker 3: in that. And so then to take like go from
Speaker 3: Internet famous to kind of TV famous and now have
Speaker 3: a lot of opinions about you put out there, a
Speaker 3: lot of you know, negative stuff, positive stuff, it was
Speaker 3: really hard to absorb.
Speaker 6: I'm pretty much someone who like is pretty strong and
Speaker 6: confident about themselves. But after doing the show for two months,
Speaker 6: you have no days off, You're exhausted, you're tired, and
Speaker 6: just like seeing a negative comment like would take me down. Also,
Speaker 6: I think with any reality TV show, there's there's things
Speaker 6: in play that are supposed to kind of fuck with
Speaker 6: you sometimes. Yeah, total, And I wasn't ready for all that.
Speaker 6: Like I I come in my partner Showbroke, who's done
Speaker 6: that show for like thirty seasons. Why Yeah, the emotional
Speaker 6: ups and downs of that for thirty years.
Speaker 2: In no way seriously, because then you're also she's having
Speaker 2: to all of those regular people are having to deal
Speaker 2: with their guests that they have on for the season
Speaker 2: and watching them go through their emotional turmoil, right, so
Speaker 2: they become like counselors exactly with Peloton. Isn't there like
Speaker 2: a chat room or chat board? Do they give you
Speaker 2: feedback on Peloton?
Speaker 3: Do you mean like members at home?
Speaker 1: Or are you like my boss like members at home?
Speaker 1: Is that? Is that a feature?
Speaker 3: It's not a feature. There's a leaderboard so you can
Speaker 3: like compete.
Speaker 1: Right, but we never got that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2: Ah.
Speaker 6: You know, like there is a very rambunctious Facebook group
Speaker 6: of Peloton members where they will spew and like say
Speaker 6: all the things that they need to.
Speaker 3: But I deleted my Facebook like probably three years ago.
Speaker 1: So good fucking unless you're a conspiracy theorist.
Speaker 6: Yeah, like I think I deleted it close to like
Speaker 6: t twenty my election.
Speaker 3: I was like, I can't do with this anymore. It's
Speaker 3: just people personally headline it's about fucking politics. I can't.
Speaker 3: I got them out. I'm out.
Speaker 2: I know, I hear you and do you ever do
Speaker 2: you ever co mingle with the or sorry not co mingle,
Speaker 2: do you ever mingle with any of the other Peloton instructors.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I actually had like a brunch on
Speaker 6: Sunday with two of my colleagues.
Speaker 1: Well that's fun.
Speaker 6: Yeah, no, I mean it's a very unique job and
Speaker 6: only we know what it feels like to be on
Speaker 6: the platform and to be teaching fitness in this capacity.
Speaker 6: And yeah, I have a lot of fun with them
Speaker 6: and a lot of respect for them.
Speaker 2: And it's also not something it's so funny because it's
Speaker 2: it's such a great career that you would have never
Speaker 2: been able to imagine as a child, because this job
Speaker 2: didn't exist as a child.
Speaker 6: Exactly, yeah, exactly. I never thought that this is how
Speaker 6: my life was going to play out. I've always had
Speaker 6: like this idea of being I guess famous or being
Speaker 6: a personality.
Speaker 3: I think I tried to channel that through musical theater
Speaker 3: and then dance.
Speaker 6: And then it's so crazy that life put me in
Speaker 6: the right place at the right time for Peloton and
Speaker 6: it was like literally the perfect job for me.
Speaker 3: Perfect.
Speaker 1: Oh I love that. What a nice success story.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I look back on it.
Speaker 6: I'm just like super grateful, especially because I grew up
Speaker 6: so fucking poor and to have the world is my
Speaker 6: oyster is fantastic.
Speaker 1: Did you run a marathon recently or do an iron man?
Speaker 3: That's a fuckingly not. I will not catch me doing that.
Speaker 1: Okay, because my friend and from Whistler ran and I
Speaker 1: couldn't remember if it was you or one of the
Speaker 1: other guys. And she was like, I saw so and
Speaker 1: so from Peloton and I was like, that must be so.
Speaker 1: She's like, I ran right up to him. I couldn't
Speaker 1: believe it was him in person.
Speaker 2: I'm like, that sounds so annoying, and just like, stop,
Speaker 2: don't approach me. I'm glad it wasn't you, although it
Speaker 2: would have been funny if it were.
Speaker 6: The way that you feel about children is the way
Speaker 6: I feel about marathons. I don't need to do it.
Speaker 6: It's going to do nothing for me.
Speaker 1: I'm glad it's happening to keep it over there.
Speaker 6: So happy it's happening over there, and like I this
Speaker 6: was the first year of fifteen years of living in
Speaker 6: New York City that I went to the marathon and
Speaker 6: cheered people on and it was so cute. I love that.
Speaker 6: That was my perfect introduction to it. But you will
Speaker 6: not catch me running twenty three point six miles.
Speaker 2: I think I think it's twenty six point two miles. Right,
Speaker 2: I have no desire. I'm with you. I am not
Speaker 2: trying to prove anything to anyone but really myself, like
Speaker 2: I would I would never I would have run a
Speaker 2: half marathon. I mean, if it was for a charity,
Speaker 2: I would just pay for someone else to.
Speaker 3: Do it, you know what I mean, here's the donation.
Speaker 2: I can't be bothered with that kind of chicanery. It's
Speaker 2: too much.
Speaker 1: Also, you want to keep your knees, you know.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And like I've tackled enough emotional trauma from my
Speaker 6: past to feel like I've accomplished something, you know.
Speaker 1: I hear you, I hear you.
Speaker 2: Okay, we're going to take a break and we're going
Speaker 2: to be right back with Cody Rigsby. And we're back
Speaker 2: with Cody Rigsby. We're gonna give advice. Cody, you're good
Speaker 2: at this, right, I feel like you could be good
Speaker 2: and motivational.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I love to give hard truths.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the hard way all about here.
Speaker 6: Unfortunately a lot of people don't have good friends that
Speaker 6: are telling them honesty.
Speaker 1: I know that's what we're here for.
Speaker 2: The people don't Yeah, I mean I know from my
Speaker 2: own set of friends that most people don't tell you
Speaker 2: the truth.
Speaker 6: Oh No, my friends will sit me the fuck down
Speaker 6: and be like, bitch, what are you doing? And I
Speaker 6: love that and I will do the same.
Speaker 2: I always. I'm an interloper. I always will intervene always.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well, our first question comes from Sherry. This is a
Speaker 4: little confusing, but.
Speaker 1: Stick with this. Is it Cherry Shepherd's Cherry Shepherd?
Speaker 2: Okay, because she just posted a clip of me talking
Speaker 2: about me not washing my legs with Kevin Hart on
Speaker 2: your show and then invited me for a collab.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I don't think so, bitch.
Speaker 3: You don't wash your legs.
Speaker 1: I don't wash my legs in the shower for you.
Speaker 1: I mean, what's going Why are my legs dirty? They're not.
Speaker 1: They're covered up all day.
Speaker 2: And when I wash my hair, the shampoo and the
Speaker 2: conditioner falls down my whole body and washes up. I
Speaker 2: get in my shower, I wash my Pikachu, I washed
Speaker 2: my asshole, I wash under my arms, and then I
Speaker 2: washed my butt like the cup the cheeks, so because
Speaker 2: I don't want to get any you know, ezema.
Speaker 6: I see what I see what you're saying there, And
Speaker 6: I can't say that, like one hundred percent I'm washing
Speaker 6: of the times I'm washing my legs.
Speaker 3: But I'd say, like fifty if.
Speaker 2: My legs are dirty, if there's dirt on them, I
Speaker 2: will wash them. But they're not. There's not ever dirt.
Speaker 2: My legs are never exposed. They're covered all day long.
Speaker 2: Like what am I washing them for?
Speaker 1: Cody?
Speaker 4: Are you running around New York City with shorts on?
Speaker 4: That is the real question. Then you have to wash
Speaker 4: your legs.
Speaker 6: So yes, I haven't been wearing a lot of pants,
Speaker 6: so yeah, I wear shorts as much as I possible.
Speaker 2: Then you should be washing your legs, yeah yeah, even
Speaker 2: though you're not, you should be.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. But I do somewhat agree that
Speaker 6: the soap will trickle down and get onto the legs.
Speaker 6: It's not a full screen.
Speaker 3: I go.
Speaker 2: If there's a crevice that I need to get into,
Speaker 2: then I will go there with the soap in the water,
Speaker 2: But the legs are out, My legs are out. I
Speaker 2: don't have to get in behind my kneecap, like there's
Speaker 2: nothing fat.
Speaker 6: But if you don't, if you don't wash your feet,
Speaker 6: nobody can put their foot in your feet in their mouth.
Speaker 1: That's fight.
Speaker 2: And then by the way, the water, the soap and
Speaker 2: all everything lands on my feet too, right before it
Speaker 2: goes down the drain.
Speaker 1: So those are I think that feel like are clean.
Speaker 3: They're good, They're really clean.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Tell sign if someone likes you and while you're fucking
Speaker 6: they if they put your feet in their mouth, then
Speaker 6: you're they're very into.
Speaker 1: You, definitely, or they have a foot fetish. But I
Speaker 1: don't really need anyone to be sucking my foot, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. There's so many others.
Speaker 6: Like you know, from time to time, I'm like, hey, okay,
Speaker 6: this works, I'm here for it.
Speaker 3: Go on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: I kind of have that attitude too, like if you
Speaker 2: want to do it, but if you do it, like
Speaker 2: if it.
Speaker 1: Is a fetishy thing, I'm not into it.
Speaker 2: Like if it happens every time, then no, it has
Speaker 2: to be like sporadic.
Speaker 3: One time, we haven't even gotten a question.
Speaker 1: That's okay.
Speaker 3: Continue.
Speaker 6: There was one time I was at this party in
Speaker 6: Fire Island and this guy asked me he definitely had
Speaker 6: a foot finish.
Speaker 3: He was like, can I just massage your feet? And
Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, go for it. And
Speaker 3: it obviously an incredible massage, of course.
Speaker 1: And why would anyone say no to a foot massage.
Speaker 2: I mean, I will take a foot massage from someone
Speaker 2: from Isis.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
Speaker 2: I don't care who's giving me a foot massage. I
Speaker 2: love getting my feet rubbed exactly. Okay, question, We're ready, So.
Speaker 4: Back to Sherry. She says, Dear Chelsea, I have an
Speaker 4: ethical dilemma that I'm hoping you can give me advice
Speaker 4: on what I should do. Within my group of friends,
Speaker 4: there are two couples with a messy situation. Let's call
Speaker 4: them Couple A and Couple B. I'm close friends with
Speaker 4: all of them, especially the wife from each couple. Both
Speaker 4: couples have young kids. The husband from Couple A recently
Speaker 4: confided in US that his wife has been having an
Speaker 4: on again, off again affair with husband B for over
Speaker 4: ten years.
Speaker 5: Oh.
Speaker 4: Husband A confronted husband B about their affair and he
Speaker 4: admitted it too great. Husband A is devastated and heartbroken.
Speaker 4: He hasn't made any decisions yet about what he's going
Speaker 4: to do. He feels that coming out with this and
Speaker 4: telling Wife B will ultimately destroy two families. As far
Speaker 4: as I know, my husband and I are the only
Speaker 4: other people who know about the affair, and I feel
Speaker 4: terrible that I know this information, But I haven't told
Speaker 4: my friend wife B about what her husband has been
Speaker 4: up to.
Speaker 1: What do I do?
Speaker 4: Do I tell Wife BE or leave it up to
Speaker 4: Husband A to decide? This is such a difficult position
Speaker 4: to be in, and I wish I didn't know this information.
Speaker 4: If I keep it to myself, how can I continue
Speaker 4: my friendship with Wife B? To make matters worse? This
Speaker 4: isn't the first time I've heard that husband B has
Speaker 4: been unfaithful, but in the past I kept it to
Speaker 4: myself because I didn't know for sure, and I figured
Speaker 4: that saying something to wife BE would more than likely
Speaker 4: ruin our friendship because she would ultimately believe her husband
Speaker 4: because he talks for a living and can be very
Speaker 4: convincing and influential. What do I do, Cherry?
Speaker 2: My disposition on this constantly changes, depending on the set
Speaker 2: of circumstances and depending on the feedback we've gotten from
Speaker 2: callers who've called in with similar problems, Cody, why don't
Speaker 2: you go first and give your advice on this situation?
Speaker 3: Wow, first of all, the question felt like a fucking
Speaker 3: sat question.
Speaker 1: Just be happy she fucking divvied them up to couple
Speaker 1: A and B.
Speaker 2: The other day, I'm dealing with thirty six cousins, a
Speaker 2: nephew and an ann and a priest.
Speaker 1: I was like, what, I can't follow the story?
Speaker 6: Uh, yeah, they should honestly just be in a polycule
Speaker 6: because they're halfway there to all having sex with each other.
Speaker 6: They honestly need to reframe their idea of like, I
Speaker 6: don't think monogamy is for everybody, and so maybe they
Speaker 6: want to explore some form of ethical non monogamy. But
Speaker 6: that's really on them.
Speaker 3: To decide what they're doing with the mess.
Speaker 6: If I were the friend, I would kind of stay
Speaker 6: out of it because you already know the tisis like
Speaker 6: husband Bee is cheating on wife Be and she's not
Speaker 6: gonna believe you if you say it, so it's going
Speaker 6: to ruin your friendship. Anyways, I would stay the fuck
Speaker 6: out of it until it all comes out, because everything
Speaker 6: dark comes to the light one way or the other.
Speaker 2: I would agree, I'm going to say that sometimes I
Speaker 2: say tell on them, you know, like I want people to.
Speaker 2: But for this situation, I would say, it sounds like
Speaker 2: it's about to come out anyway, like everywhere, all the
Speaker 2: chips are falling and like not into place, out of place,
Speaker 2: like everyone's going to kind of get the situation and
Speaker 2: it's not your responsibility. It sounds messy. And if it's
Speaker 2: been going on for ten years, that's a whole other
Speaker 2: level of unethical non monogamy. I like what you said
Speaker 2: ethical non monogamy, because that's important. You can have that
Speaker 2: if you're ethical about it and honest.
Speaker 1: But that's not what's going on here.
Speaker 2: Especially if that guy's talk or like you don't want
Speaker 2: to ruin your relationship with your friend, you know. I
Speaker 2: think it's it's best to just let let the chips
Speaker 2: fall where they may, and then you can get in
Speaker 2: there after and be like, listen, I was in a
Speaker 2: really uncomfortable situation and I didn't know if you knew,
Speaker 2: and you know, all of that stuff. I didn't want
Speaker 2: to get involved in it because it was very confusing.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I say stay out of it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I think I think a post mortem when
Speaker 6: when everything hits the fan. She can then come to
Speaker 6: the friend and be like, hey, girl, like I did
Speaker 6: know this, but this is why it was complicated.
Speaker 3: I love you, I'm here for you. Let me help
Speaker 3: you through this.
Speaker 4: Are you a monogamist, Cody?
Speaker 3: I am not.
Speaker 6: I was gonna say, as someone who has cheated on boyfriends,
Speaker 6: I feel like the way to go is non monogamy.
Speaker 6: But I am a firm believer that monogamy does need
Speaker 6: to be at least for me, needs to be the
Speaker 6: foundation at first in the relationship. But as the years
Speaker 6: go on, Like I just I don't think I could
Speaker 6: only sleep with one person for the rest of my life.
Speaker 6: I know, I know that I can't, but I'm not.
Speaker 6: I don't want to be polyamorous. I couldn't have a
Speaker 6: relationship with those bob people.
Speaker 1: Just fucking yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't know who put this monogamy into our heads
Speaker 2: to begin with. It's too it's just it's just very antiquated.
Speaker 2: It's starting to feel even though I'm a monogamous like
Speaker 2: when I'm with someone, i'm with them, I can totally
Speaker 2: see why it doesn't make any sense for long periods
Speaker 2: of time, you know, maybe five year, ten year intervals,
Speaker 2: even ten years sounds like too.
Speaker 1: Long, but some people really do love monogamy.
Speaker 6: So and for the people that love it, go for
Speaker 6: a baby. I just know in my soul it's not
Speaker 6: for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, It's like I know in my soul that I
Speaker 2: wasn't meant to be someone's wife or mother exactly.
Speaker 1: Like, no regrets.
Speaker 2: In fact, every time I think about it, the fact
Speaker 2: that I don't have a child, or the fact that
Speaker 2: I don't have a partner, I'm just so grateful, Like
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, this is so much nicer.
Speaker 6: So also, like being married or like in a long
Speaker 6: term committed relationship is not your not your vibe either.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be married.
Speaker 6: No, no legal status. But you can be with someone
Speaker 6: maybe for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe, but let's be reasonable, doubt.
Speaker 6: You know, I love people who know what they want
Speaker 6: and they're that's the perfect way to be.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like, yeah, I like to be stimulated, So
Speaker 2: to be stimulated usually requires a newness.
Speaker 1: Yeah, at some point.
Speaker 4: Well, our next question we'll start with Kelly. Her subject
Speaker 4: line is how to lose weight without quote unquote compliments.
Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea. Bottom line up front, I'm about to go
Speaker 4: on weightless medication. But I don't want people close to
Speaker 4: me to comment on my body changes. How do I
Speaker 4: let people know this without sounding cunty?
Speaker 1: For context?
Speaker 4: For the past two years, my doctors and I have
Speaker 4: been trying to figure out why my body won't respond
Speaker 4: to eating responsibly and consistently attending a spine gym for
Speaker 4: about twelve of those months. This summer, she and my
Speaker 4: undocrinologist diagnosed me with PCOS and one of the symptoms
Speaker 4: is weight gain. We decided to try met Foreman and
Speaker 4: tweak my eating habits and exercise routine and regroup in December.
Speaker 4: While it's coming, decision time and nothing has changed, so
Speaker 4: it's time to pivot to an injectable. From ages thirteen
Speaker 4: to twenty seven ish, I struggled with bolimia, trendy diets,
Speaker 4: obsessive workouts that made me a slave to the gym
Speaker 4: for hours a day while tracking every gram of macros
Speaker 4: across every piece of food, among other disordered eating behaviors.
Speaker 4: After years of therapy, I'm now at my heaviest weight
Speaker 4: but healthiest mental state. I'm a firm believer in body neutrality, However,
Speaker 4: I feel my body just isn't meant to carry this
Speaker 4: much weight in this form, and I'm uncomfortable and know
Speaker 4: my body chemistry is just not operating correctly throughout my
Speaker 4: weight fluctuations. The one thing that has been consistent is
Speaker 4: that my family praises me when I'm in a smaller body.
Speaker 4: I understand this is a cultural thing and they have
Speaker 4: the best intentions. I also know I have done the
Speaker 4: work to deal with how I perceive myself, but I
Speaker 4: worry that those around me will keep up with their
Speaker 4: old ways. Is there a way to get ahead of
Speaker 4: this or handle the quote unquote compliments when I know
Speaker 4: they mean well but also feel they could be damaging
Speaker 4: to me. Thank you for all the positive energy. Kelly.
Speaker 1: Hi, Kelly, Hey, Hey, Kelly.
Speaker 7: Hello.
Speaker 1: I don't know the answer to this.
Speaker 2: I don't know how you get people to not comment
Speaker 2: on your weight, because it's so like if you have
Speaker 2: a history with your family, that's one thing you can
Speaker 2: have a conversation with them and explain to them what's
Speaker 2: happening and how you don't think it's healthy for your
Speaker 2: you know, your your mental health to hear their feedback
Speaker 2: about your physicality all the time.
Speaker 1: This is Cody Rigsby, by the way, Yeah, Okay, great, it.
Speaker 2: Feels like, okay, are you gonna have that? Is it
Speaker 2: going to have a deleterious impact on you if regular
Speaker 2: people are commenting on your way, because it's a very
Speaker 2: hard thing for people not to do.
Speaker 7: No, I know that it's my family and they're not
Speaker 7: great at taking those types of conversations. Case in point,
Speaker 7: like freshman year of college, I lost like forty pounds
Speaker 7: and my aunt, who's been like a pseudo grandmother to
Speaker 7: me my entire life, like called me over and was
Speaker 7: just like, helly, you look wonderful.
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 7: And this, that and the other thing, and like that's
Speaker 7: where most of my compliments come from my family.
Speaker 3: May I take a stab at this?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Please?
Speaker 6: Well, first of all, I commend you on like you
Speaker 6: being in the right place for your own journey, because
Speaker 6: you seem really grounded in, like this is for my health,
Speaker 6: this is for my mental health, This is for me
Speaker 6: to feel confident, this is for me to feel like
Speaker 6: my best And I think that is the best mentality
Speaker 6: to have, especially around weight loss or working out. Like
Speaker 6: our bodies are only going to look a certain way
Speaker 6: for a certain time. They're gonna fluctuate. They're gonna change
Speaker 6: and we don't have control over that. So I think
Speaker 6: that's a great mental space. That being said, also, we
Speaker 6: can't control other people's actions. We're not gonna be able
Speaker 6: to control the compliments that they give us. But I
Speaker 6: think that you can start to reframe those physical comments
Speaker 6: into a space of if someone's like, hey, you look great, Kelly,
Speaker 6: since you've lost eight you're like, thank you. I think
Speaker 6: just saying thank you to any compliment is fine. You
Speaker 6: could also take lead on the conversation of being like,
Speaker 6: thank you, but honestly, it's I feel amazing and I've
Speaker 6: never felt better and I'm really happy, and that's the
Speaker 6: thing that you want.
Speaker 3: To get across to them.
Speaker 6: It's just the way you feel and just taking charge
Speaker 6: of the charge of the narrative and knowing you can't
Speaker 6: control anybody whatever the heck they're gonna say.
Speaker 4: I do think there's a little bit of room for
Speaker 4: some teaching here. I think if there are certain family
Speaker 4: members you're worried about kind of like really hitting the
Speaker 4: like oh you look so skinny, stuff hard, I think
Speaker 4: it's okay to like just address that with them, like
Speaker 4: I'm making some changes with my doctors for my health
Speaker 4: and like I just would so appreciate it, like not
Speaker 4: commenting on my body, or if someone does bring it up,
Speaker 4: saying like thank you so much. I know you mean well,
Speaker 4: but you know I'm the same person in a larger
Speaker 4: or a smaller body, So thanks for letting me know.
Speaker 4: But I'm feeling really happy. And you know, like Cody said,
Speaker 4: going into like I'm feeling happy about this x y
Speaker 4: Z in my life. It doesn't necessarily have to be
Speaker 4: like a body thing. It can be something that's just
Speaker 4: like something you're doing that's making you feel better in
Speaker 4: your life.
Speaker 2: But I also think it wouldn't be like okay if
Speaker 2: your family doesn't respond well to things. If you wrote
Speaker 2: a thoughtful email to your family and said, listen, I'm
Speaker 2: on this like weight loss journey. The times where I
Speaker 2: have lost weight and have heard comments from you guys,
Speaker 2: which I know you are, you know, giving me or
Speaker 2: compliments about how I look good when I lose weight
Speaker 2: or when I've dropped forty pounds. You can give specific
Speaker 2: examples about your freshman year in college, the comments I
Speaker 2: know you mean well, but those kind of comments and
Speaker 2: getting rewarded for having a smaller body. Have it helped,
Speaker 2: so moving forward, it would really mean the world to
Speaker 2: me if we could just keep the comments to yourself
Speaker 2: about me and any sort of weight loss or weight
Speaker 2: gain I have. I need to do this for my
Speaker 2: own mental health and this is something that's really important
Speaker 2: to me, and as people who love me, I can
Speaker 2: only imagine that you want to support that.
Speaker 7: That sounds doable. My family's not the type of people
Speaker 7: that you can have that kind of conversation in person with.
Speaker 1: So yeah, write it in an email.
Speaker 2: Let them all talk about it together and be like, oh,
Speaker 2: did you get the email we did? A like, let
Speaker 2: them reflect and actually digest what you're saying. It's not unreasonable,
Speaker 2: and once they know that it has that impact on you,
Speaker 2: they are going to think twice about making those comments.
Speaker 2: And you can say, we're in a different time, it's
Speaker 2: not really appropriate to be making these comments. I'm feeling
Speaker 2: so good about myself. I just want to keep feeling
Speaker 2: good about myself and those kind of comments are not
Speaker 2: helpful for me.
Speaker 1: Okay, No, I like the sounds of that.
Speaker 7: I just I guess I'm just nervous for you know,
Speaker 7: sounding like pretentious and part of me touches.
Speaker 2: But you're not being pretentious. You're being detective of yourself.
Speaker 2: That's what you're being self empowering. There's nothing pretentious. Forget
Speaker 2: about your family and where they're from. This is about
Speaker 2: you and where you're from and where you're going. Like,
Speaker 2: there's nothing pretentious about that. That's actually being really upfront
Speaker 2: and honest, and there's nothing wrong with it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: It's creating a boundary, communicating that boundary and telling people
Speaker 3: to you know, not cross it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think like when people do, because you
Speaker 4: will have people who who cross that boundary, even if
Speaker 4: you've communicated with them, you know, having that patience and
Speaker 4: being like thinks like, this isn't really because I'm doing
Speaker 4: all these different things. This is because I'm treating the
Speaker 4: pcos that you know caused some of this weight cane
Speaker 4: and that sort of thing. You know, I'm working with
Speaker 4: my doctors and getting good treatment.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and also and also do some of the work
Speaker 2: that Cody mentioned about taking those comments and kind of
Speaker 2: having them turn into a different comment in your head.
Speaker 2: You really can't control what other people are going to
Speaker 2: say or how they're going to react, so you have
Speaker 2: to kind of figure out the way that you're going
Speaker 2: to be able to digest them in a different way
Speaker 2: instead of having it make you feel like uncomfortable. There's
Speaker 2: a way you can kind of empower yourself with those
Speaker 2: comments and be like, I'm going to take that and
Speaker 2: this is this is what I know that they meant
Speaker 2: to say or that they wanted me to feel, So
Speaker 2: I am going to choose to feel that way, even
Speaker 2: though it's an annoying thing to keep hearing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I agree, there's probably like a different way to
Speaker 4: sort of metabolize those comments that you're getting, you know,
Speaker 4: so to speak. But I also think it's really important
Speaker 4: to underscore here that you know, we're in twenty twenty five, Like,
Speaker 4: it's never okay to comment on someone else's body, you know,
Speaker 4: whether their skin is discolored, or they have an injury,
Speaker 4: or they've lost or gained weight, or they're wearing a
Speaker 4: medical device, Like it's okay to just not say anything.
Speaker 4: And in fact, it's preferable to not say anything unless
Speaker 4: they bring it up and it's something that they choose
Speaker 4: to talk about. You know, unsolicited comments about someone's weight
Speaker 4: and especially weight loss can be really painful for people.
Speaker 4: I mean people lose and gain weight for all kinds
Speaker 4: of reasons. I mean, they may be going through a
Speaker 4: period of grief, maybe they've changed medication that's caused weight
Speaker 4: gain or weight loss. Maybe they're having a mental health crisis,
Speaker 4: or they're dealing with an illness, maybe they have an
Speaker 4: eating disorder, and those compliments really can get in their
Speaker 4: head and do really lasting damage. So I think it's
Speaker 4: really something that we have to pay attention to that,
Speaker 4: like our words do matter, and sometimes even when we're
Speaker 4: trying to be kind, it can unintentionally be really damaging.
Speaker 4: So I think it's great to be able to set
Speaker 4: these boundaries with your family. But if you have like
Speaker 4: a neighbor who comments, or you know someone else in
Speaker 4: your life who comments, one thing you can say is
Speaker 4: just like, yeah, I know, bodies change in all kinds
Speaker 4: of ways for all different reasons, right, and just like
Speaker 4: leave it at that, and like if it's a little awkward,
Speaker 4: it's okay if it's a little bit awkward. But with
Speaker 4: a comment like that, you're not really giving any credence
Speaker 4: to like it's a positive thing or a negative thing,
Speaker 4: but you're also not denying that it happened.
Speaker 1: So it's a good way to set a boundary.
Speaker 2: But I'll be afraid of putting up boundaries like that's
Speaker 2: what we're lacking. Yeah, especially as women.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, certainly with my family, we're grossly closed.
Speaker 2: So yeah, okay, well, good put together an email, compose it,
Speaker 2: take your time to write it, and I guarantee you you'll.
Speaker 1: Be surprised by the results, yeah, or the response. I mean,
Speaker 1: all right, thank you, thanks so much, Kelly. Thank you, bye,
Speaker 1: Kelly Bye, have a good one.
Speaker 4: I think that's such a good question too, because we
Speaker 4: don't necessarily know what people's backstories are, whether they have
Speaker 4: a condition that's causing weaking. Maybe they were depressed and
Speaker 4: lost fifty pounds.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 4: It's a good teaching moment to have with her family.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I had.
Speaker 2: I was in Mayorka this summer and this server, this
Speaker 2: restaurant that I go to a lot, there's a server
Speaker 2: and from the beginning I went in June, and then
Speaker 2: I went back in September. And when I went back
Speaker 2: in September, she had lost, like I mean, like fifty pounds.
Speaker 2: And she was never heavy to begin with. She was
Speaker 2: very muscular and like very healthy. And I didn't say
Speaker 2: anything because I knew better than to say anything, and
Speaker 2: she said something and she was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: look at I'm wasting away. And I go, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: I know you look amazing like and she goes, no,
Speaker 2: I've lost weight because of stress.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, oh shit, right, fucked up.
Speaker 1: You know you were just learning terrible.
Speaker 2: I did you know she wasn't happy about the weight loss,
Speaker 2: but I knew enough not to bring it up. But
Speaker 2: when she brought it up, or should have been like,
Speaker 2: oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: Plus we were speaking Spanish, so thought always go side.
Speaker 6: You never know how someone's gonna interpret it. It's like
Speaker 6: when people say I look so skinny, I'm like, bitch,
Speaker 6: but what I don't want to look scary.
Speaker 3: I want to look like like a muscular man. So
Speaker 3: it's like you gets fucked up in your head.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we've been talking a lot about that lately, about
Speaker 4: like not talking about like skinny, but talking about strong strong.
Speaker 1: We liked, yes, yes, fit and strong. Yes.
Speaker 5: Well.
Speaker 4: Our next question comes from Britney and she is seeking
Speaker 4: some fitness motivation advice.
Speaker 1: Oh perfect, yeah, she says, you're Chelsea, is it? Britney spears,
Speaker 1: I hope, so, yeah.
Speaker 4: I'm writing in for some motivation on how to get
Speaker 4: into a better exercise routine and routines in general. I
Speaker 4: recently got married, and before the wedding I was able
Speaker 4: to motivate myself to eat clean and exercise by wanting
Speaker 4: to look amazing in my wedding gown, which I killed it.
Speaker 4: Now I'm several months post wedding and I can't get
Speaker 4: motivated to do anything unless there's a staunch deadline. My
Speaker 4: wedding guest thank you cards, I still haven't finished writing,
Speaker 4: and overall I just prefer to laze around then start
Speaker 4: any of my home improvement projects.
Speaker 1: My partner's also.
Speaker 4: Trying to get into a gym routine, but oftentimes are
Speaker 4: preferred time to work out just not align. Pre wedding,
Speaker 4: I was involved with a spin class that I loved, which,
Speaker 4: by the way, like both of these ones that mentioned spin,
Speaker 4: it was like kind of just a fluke, nice little
Speaker 4: thing there, so some serendipity, but the instructor moved away
Speaker 4: and the gym has not hired a replacement. Lastly, I
Speaker 4: cannot seem, for the life of me to wake up
Speaker 4: early for my own enjoyment, such as to meditate or
Speaker 4: write in a Gratitude Journal. I wake up with barely
Speaker 4: enough time to prepare for my workday and always seem
Speaker 4: to rush out the door five minutes late. It just
Speaker 4: seems like an overall lack of diligence and structure. Do
Speaker 4: you have any tools or vice that might help me
Speaker 4: in my journey? Sincerely, very tired person, Brittany, Brittany, Hi, Brittany,
Speaker 4: Hi Brittany.
Speaker 3: I love the way you spell it, by the way,
Speaker 3: Oh thank you. I'll let my mom know.
Speaker 1: Brittany, why are you so tired? I don't know that's
Speaker 1: the thing.
Speaker 5: And I have energy throughout the day, but when it
Speaker 5: comes to the motivation in the morning to get started
Speaker 5: or the motivation after I've been working seven and a
Speaker 5: half hours, I don't have it in me to like
Speaker 5: I make excuses for myself as to why I don't
Speaker 5: want to wake up whenever my first alarm goes off
Speaker 5: or I end up you know, after work, I just
Speaker 5: don't want to stop. I don't want to stop at
Speaker 5: the gym. I want to get home. I want to
Speaker 5: cook dinner. I want to chill in my pj's and
Speaker 5: watch TV. And I really want some I want to
Speaker 5: see these changes in theory, but the action is just
Speaker 5: I've had a hard time with that motivation.
Speaker 3: To get there.
Speaker 6: Do you feel like you're getting enough sleep or you
Speaker 6: feel like you're not sleeping enough? Also, I feel.
Speaker 5: Like in general, once I get going, I'm awake, So
Speaker 5: I don't feel like I'm overall like tired during the day.
Speaker 5: It's just when it gets to about ten thirty, I'm done.
Speaker 6: Do you work at an office or do you work
Speaker 6: from home? Like, do you have the ability to like
Speaker 6: go work out in the middle of the day maybe
Speaker 6: since you have more energy throughout the day.
Speaker 5: So my work day is generally so I get to
Speaker 5: work at seven thirty. I do go into the office
Speaker 5: most days of the week. I do have some flexibility
Speaker 5: to work from home, but I generally at work do
Speaker 5: not have any I try to limit distractions as much
Speaker 5: as possible.
Speaker 3: So I think it's like for me, it's it's about
Speaker 3: building habits that you're going to do, regardless of when
Speaker 3: it's comfortable or convenient, and just putting those into your
Speaker 3: day or week so that they're so consistent that you
Speaker 3: show up when you don't want to.
Speaker 6: If you have more energy throughout the day and you
Speaker 6: have the possibility of working even if it's just two
Speaker 6: days a week from home and you are already getting
Speaker 6: dressed in like ath leisure. You can pump from your
Speaker 6: meeting and then work out from home like in some
Speaker 6: Body with body Weight, and you're not you're not taking
Speaker 6: too much time away from you from your work. At
Speaker 6: least you're getting in a few workouts a week. I
Speaker 6: feel like if you're already setting your goal on this
Speaker 6: mountain of like I got to work out every day,
Speaker 6: you're already going to set yourself up for failure. So
Speaker 6: I think finding some opportunities where you could work out
Speaker 6: twenty to thirty minutes, even if it's two to three
Speaker 6: times a week. Maybe it's maybe it's the two days
Speaker 6: you work from home and one like maybe it's Saturday
Speaker 6: or Sunday. And maybe you and your husband it could
Speaker 6: work out on the weekend together since you're both off,
Speaker 6: and that might be something fun that you can do
Speaker 6: and don't let the workout have to be a chore
Speaker 6: a task. Maybe you guys can go for a hike
Speaker 6: or a walk. Maybe you can just do something it's fun.
Speaker 6: And I don't know if you like to dance, like do
Speaker 6: dance cardio. Do something that brings you a little bit
Speaker 6: of joy even as you make it a task.
Speaker 2: And I would also say, just get in the habit
Speaker 2: of like the exercise and lends itself to your life
Speaker 2: in multiple ways. It's not just about the exercise. It's
Speaker 2: about your mental clarity. It's about getting rid of any cortisol.
Speaker 2: You don't want to overdo it, but you do want
Speaker 2: to exert yourself to a degree every day. Like I
Speaker 2: would say to get up every morning and just walk
Speaker 2: for twenty minutes, Go power walking outside your neighborhood for
Speaker 2: twenty minutes, no matter what, you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: so that your body is moving, your body is getting energized,
Speaker 2: and you're like creating more energy for yourself throughout the day.
Speaker 2: Like exercise is so related. If I don't exercise, I
Speaker 2: have no energy. That's why you have no energy.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 2: If I go for three or four days without working out,
Speaker 2: I feel it. Even when I'm hungover or I've just
Speaker 2: been on a flight and I've been performing, I always
Speaker 2: get up and make myself sweat a little because it
Speaker 2: just makes me feel so much better and have so
Speaker 2: much more mental claes. So I would try to incorporate,
Speaker 2: like as far as working out and doing a workout
Speaker 2: with weights and stuff, or you know, you can get
Speaker 2: the Peloton app, you know, and do that at your house.
Speaker 5: I don't have.
Speaker 3: I was gonna shamelessly plug that. I know.
Speaker 1: Well, that's why I had to.
Speaker 3: Do cycling instructor your cycling instructions.
Speaker 2: I'm a cycling instructor on Peloton now too. That was
Speaker 2: our big announcement for today. I'm to announce that now
Speaker 2: I'm not I'm not, I'm not.
Speaker 3: I'm just fuing.
Speaker 2: But if you do get the you can get the
Speaker 2: Peloton app and do these like they have five minute
Speaker 2: apps classes, they have ten minutes, you could do forty minutes, pilates,
Speaker 2: you can do like you just make a commitment and
Speaker 2: do it with your husband. If you think that's a
Speaker 2: good partnership. Do you think that is or would you
Speaker 2: rather exercise alone?
Speaker 3: I think that it's potential.
Speaker 5: Like there have been times intermittently that we've both woken
Speaker 5: up early and gone for a walk around our neighborhood together,
Speaker 5: and we do enjoy walking, but it's for some reason
Speaker 5: the mornings, my alarm clock will go off several times
Speaker 5: and I'll just keep doing it until I absolutely have
Speaker 5: to get up and going. And typically I think if
Speaker 5: I were to walk every morning, i'd have to get
Speaker 5: up at five and go. And I feel like that's
Speaker 5: a normal time for people to get up and go.
Speaker 5: But for some reason, in the mornings, my mind is
Speaker 5: just like this isn't. I have a hard time I
Speaker 5: guess in the morning's deciding that that's a that's a priority.
Speaker 2: Right, But it's it is a priority because you're calling
Speaker 2: into a podcast to talk about it, so you're gonna
Speaker 2: make it a priority.
Speaker 1: What do you use?
Speaker 2: What's that? Is that a green like exercise ball that's
Speaker 2: behind you? It is so fucking use it. I mean,
Speaker 2: first of all, what kind of caffeine do you take
Speaker 2: to get up in the morning?
Speaker 1: Do you drink caffeine?
Speaker 5: I drink a cup of coffee about twenty minutes after
Speaker 5: I get up. I make sure I drink some water first,
Speaker 5: or at least a few SIPs of water before I
Speaker 5: go in on the coffee.
Speaker 2: But I do well, that's healthy, that's a healthy habit.
Speaker 2: But why do you really have to wake up at
Speaker 2: five to exercise? What time do you have to be
Speaker 2: at work?
Speaker 5: So I try to get to work by seven thirty.
Speaker 5: It usually ends up walking in around seven forty five
Speaker 5: with traffic and every thing, but I try to get
Speaker 5: I try to leave my house by six forty five.
Speaker 2: And then okay, well that is pretty early. That's probably
Speaker 2: why you're fucking tired. I mean, most people go to
Speaker 2: work around nine for an office job, and you get
Speaker 2: done at five pm or six pm.
Speaker 5: I typically try to leave work by four thirty, try
Speaker 5: and skip some of the traffic, and then I'll get
Speaker 5: home usually around five thirty five forty.
Speaker 1: I know, for me, I have to work out in
Speaker 1: the mornings to really get it done.
Speaker 2: So it really you have to kind of experiment with
Speaker 2: your personality because it sounds schedule wise like it might
Speaker 2: be more prudent for you to get home from work
Speaker 2: and then go for a power walk around five. It's
Speaker 2: the perfect time. It's before dinner, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: You get home, go for a walk, reflect on the
Speaker 1: day's activities, and then figure out a workout that you
Speaker 1: could do like two or three days a week. But
Speaker 1: I think it's important a health wise to keep your
Speaker 1: body moving every single day, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And then it becomes kind of addictive.
Speaker 2: In a great way, Like there's you know, you don't
Speaker 2: want to be exercising for three hours day and no
Speaker 2: one's suggesting that, but you need to pick a time
Speaker 2: and commit to whatever time you think it's going to
Speaker 2: be more feasible to actually follow through. And maybe that
Speaker 2: is when you get home from work, if it's not
Speaker 2: during your lunch break, or if it's not at five
Speaker 2: in the morning, it's dark at five in the morning,
Speaker 2: So like, I can understand why that would be hard
Speaker 2: to get up and start exercising. So let's figure out
Speaker 2: what time makes the most sense for you. What time
Speaker 2: do you think that is.
Speaker 5: Historically, I've definitely leaned towards you know, getting off work,
Speaker 5: stopping by the gym, doing whatever it is I do,
Speaker 5: whether it be a group workout class or an elliptical staremaster,
Speaker 5: whatever it may be. Like I used to be really
Speaker 5: good about doing that, and then I think, just over
Speaker 5: the last few years, I've kind of lost my way
Speaker 5: in a gym, like I don't necessarily know what I
Speaker 5: should be, like what I should be focusing on. I
Speaker 5: kind of walk in and I'm like, Okay, what do
Speaker 5: I want to do today? And then I spend twenty
Speaker 5: minutes looking on Pinterest for workout to do at the
Speaker 5: gym for this muscle group, and then I end up,
Speaker 5: you know, doing that for a while and I feel
Speaker 5: really good about it, but I guess I haven't been
Speaker 5: successful in making that an weekly like scheduled thing.
Speaker 1: Okay, well you're gonna do that. Now.
Speaker 2: You're gonna write it down that you're gonna exercise. You're
Speaker 2: gonna do a workout three times a week, and you're
Speaker 2: gonna do a nice walk, whether it's at the gym,
Speaker 2: whether it's the elliptical, three times a week, you're gonna
Speaker 2: do twenty minutes on an elliptical, on a treadmill or
Speaker 2: a bike, whatever kind of cardio. And then three times
Speaker 2: a week, either they could be on the same day
Speaker 2: or whatever, you're gonna do a class. You could do
Speaker 2: a pilates class, you could do weight training class. You
Speaker 2: write it down. I am going to commit to this,
Speaker 2: and every single morning you're writing it down and keeping
Speaker 2: a diary of what you're doing so that you're accountable.
Speaker 2: And if your husband decides to come along for the
Speaker 2: ride or can join you in any of those activities, great,
Speaker 2: But I think you should go from work, commit to
Speaker 2: three days a week that you're gonna leave work and.
Speaker 1: Go straight to the gym. You don't even have to
Speaker 1: spend a whole hour. How we're there. You can go there,
Speaker 1: jump on the elliptical for twenty minutes minute and leave.
Speaker 1: Just get into the habit of forming a habit.
Speaker 4: Yeah, a lot of gyms have either an app or
Speaker 4: a program where they'll like give you a list of
Speaker 4: like here's what you do Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and
Speaker 4: it's like twenty minutes of maybe strength exercises on different
Speaker 4: machines or using free weights, and like it's all done
Speaker 4: for you, Like you don't have to think about anything.
Speaker 4: So ask at your gym and see if they have that.
Speaker 3: I also thank you.
Speaker 4: A workout buddy might be helpful here too, because your
Speaker 4: husband might not be the workout buddy you need. You
Speaker 4: might need somebody, Like if I don't show up so
Speaker 4: and so I was gonna be like sitting there pissed
Speaker 4: at me, So like I gotta get my ass over.
Speaker 6: There a workout buddy though, And like, especially with your husband,
Speaker 6: like it can be a double edged sword, like it
Speaker 6: might motivate you, but it also will be if he's
Speaker 6: not in the mood and he's like, oh, let's skip today.
Speaker 6: You're going to be susceptible to falling into that habit,
Speaker 6: so I try to be on your own journey.
Speaker 5: Absolutely, he and I have definitely gone back and forth
Speaker 5: like hey, let's do this, and he'll be like, I
Speaker 5: don't feel like it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's gotta be yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: And also the exercise will permeate into your life in
Speaker 2: other ways. You're gonna finish your thank you cards, You're
Speaker 2: gonna get all that shit together because you're gonna have
Speaker 2: I've done that.
Speaker 5: Actually, I day great and just got them mailed out
Speaker 5: this week, so I'm really proud of that. But it's
Speaker 5: also like kind of kicking myself in the ass because
Speaker 5: it took me seven months.
Speaker 1: But that's okay.
Speaker 4: You have a year, so you are several months ahead.
Speaker 2: You're great, It done okay. And also I want you
Speaker 2: to write the sentence down to yourself. Write it down.
Speaker 2: I am a powerful, strong woman and I am going
Speaker 2: to become more powerful and more strong.
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, and that's what you're gonna do.
Speaker 2: And write down your schedule for the week, what you're
Speaker 2: gonna do, and you're gonna be able to take days
Speaker 2: off and you're gonna be able to get motivated. But
Speaker 2: write down the days Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I'm going to
Speaker 2: the gym straight from work, even if it's for a
Speaker 2: half an hour. You're going to just get into the
Speaker 2: habit of forming a habit.
Speaker 1: It's as simple as that.
Speaker 2: And once you do that for three weeks, you're going
Speaker 2: to want to keep doing it, and you're going to
Speaker 2: want to get stronger, and you're going to see the
Speaker 2: result and you're going to feel healthier and you're going
Speaker 2: to feel more motivated, and it's all going to work out.
Speaker 1: So this is your pep talk. Okay, thank you so much, Chelsea.
Speaker 1: You're welcome.
Speaker 4: All right, Thanks Brittany, bye bye, Thank you all so much. Thanks.
Speaker 1: I like these questions. I'm so lazy, I can't get
Speaker 1: out of bed. What do I do? Get out of bed?
Speaker 3: Get out of that?
Speaker 2: Do you know how grateful we are able to be
Speaker 2: able bodied and have the ability to move our bodies?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: We have to remember that not everybody can do that.
Speaker 2: You know, you have full utilization of your body. You
Speaker 2: better be fucking using it and it.
Speaker 3: Only gets more limited the older you get.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and laziness gets more laziness.
Speaker 2: You know, if you're lazy and you don't yeah, I mean,
Speaker 2: I don't like to call anyone lazy, but some people
Speaker 2: just are, you know.
Speaker 1: And then what well, and on that note, we're going
Speaker 1: to take a little break and oh, come back to Okay,
Speaker 1: we'll be right back.
Speaker 2: Okay, we're back with Cody Rigsby TV Magic.
Speaker 1: So you can catch Cody's podcast, Tactful Pettiness.
Speaker 2: It's tact full pettiness anywhere you got your podcast and
Speaker 2: you can hear him talk about a bevy of different things.
Speaker 1: Cody was a delight to meet you.
Speaker 2: I'm sure I'll gout in you somewhere or somewhere somehow sometime.
Speaker 3: I hope.
Speaker 4: So all right, and where can people find you on
Speaker 4: socials and stuff?
Speaker 6: Cody at Cody Riggsby on Instagram at Cody Underscore. Rigs
Speaker 6: me on TikTok because some bitch took my name before
Speaker 6: I could get it. That's fine, not a bitch.
Speaker 2: Okay, Thanks Cody, Thank you, Cody, have a great day.
Speaker 4: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
Speaker 4: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
Speaker 4: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
Speaker 4: and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Catherine Law and
Speaker 4: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
Speaker 4: com