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Speaker 1: My tender profile would be my DUI pick Camsy Media March.

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Speaker 2: All right, well, I'm going to start today with a

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Speaker 2: very hard hitting personal question, Rory.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever gotten a DUI? I have not, Okay,

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Speaker 1: but boy have I gotten close.

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Speaker 3: I've been eligible and I'm not proud of that, even

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Speaker 3: though I just said it as though I'm proud.

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Speaker 1: I'm not. But I have been eligible as many of us,

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Speaker 1: and I'm fortunate that I changed my ways.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't have judged you even if you had, and

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Speaker 3: I'm not judging you now that you almost have.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, thank you for this safe space, and.

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Speaker 2: You'd be in some fine company if you had. Because

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Speaker 2: I'm just going to give you a short list of

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Speaker 2: famous people who I'll go ahead, you answer right away, Florida.

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Speaker 3: If that's the question, well that's coming up, so wait

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Speaker 3: right yeah, oh, that answer later.

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Speaker 2: I'm just running through a list here. We're not going

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Speaker 2: to get into the details until the end, so we'll

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Speaker 2: start with. Of course, Britney Spears arrested under suspicion last week. Again,

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Speaker 2: as we are recording this, at least do UI under

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Speaker 2: suspicion of she's previously had them and she was arrested

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Speaker 2: on Sunset Boulevard. I belive up, which is why streets

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Speaker 2: more celebrities are most commonly picked up.

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Speaker 1: That's right. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Then there's Justin Bieber, who got a DUI in twenty fourteen,

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Speaker 2: when I feel like he must have been very young.

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Speaker 2: Then he posed for one of my all time favorite

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Speaker 2: mug shots was that I'm going to share with you

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Speaker 2: now or Lane is going to if she can look

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Speaker 2: at that guy.

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Speaker 1: I actually liked that quite a bit. I do too.

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Speaker 3: He looks so happy and good and like, yeah, it's

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Speaker 3: also a different Bieber.

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Speaker 1: Those are more Biber.

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Speaker 3: I gotta say I went through a phase of being like,

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Speaker 3: you know, it's screw this guy. But the more that

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Speaker 3: I've thought about it in my older age, like this

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Speaker 3: guy was a millionaire who as a teenager had millions

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Speaker 3: of dollars and was in charge of adults, and was

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Speaker 3: obviously you'd be a bit of a dick because all

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Speaker 3: of us who did not have millions of dollars and

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Speaker 3: we're not in charge of adults, we were also dicks

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Speaker 3: with no power exactly.

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Speaker 2: I think it's amazing when a young successful person turns

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Speaker 2: out normally because it's almost impossible.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I mean I don't know him, and you

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Speaker 3: could tell me my perception of his awful, but I

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Speaker 3: don't know. I kind of like his music now and

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Speaker 3: I feel like he's turned it around, and I think

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Speaker 3: he's kind of like, oh man, I grew up under

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Speaker 3: very bizarre circumstances.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think he was like twelve years

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Speaker 2: old when he became expact.

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Speaker 1: I mean, yes, like his whole life has been in

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Speaker 1: a spotlight all right.

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Speaker 2: Well, Well, speaking of young people who didn't handle fame

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Speaker 2: very well, we also have. We had Paris Hilton in

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Speaker 2: two thousand and six, fave Chloe Kardashian in two thousand

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Speaker 2: and seven, Lindsay Lohan in two thousand and eight, who

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Speaker 2: I believe really struggled with again, way too much, too young. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: here the bit of a surprise. We had Michael Phelps

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Speaker 2: in twenty fourteen, who was pulled over doing eighty four.

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Speaker 1: And a forty five.

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Speaker 3: I mean, guys, he only knows speed, true because of

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Speaker 3: the Gold medals and being the fastest and whatnot.

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Speaker 1: Oh he was swimming, he was swimming at eighty four.

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Speaker 1: It was an s ui.

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Speaker 3: I think I'm okay with Michael Phelps. I mean, if

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Speaker 3: you're if you're a gold Olympian, Like, what are we

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Speaker 3: gonna do? You can't wrangle those people.

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Speaker 2: Well, speaking of athletes, we had Tiger Woods who's passed

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Speaker 2: out behind the wheel in South Florida in twenty seventeen.

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Speaker 2: He pretty much immediately went to rehab because I think

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Speaker 2: that may not have been the only time yep turned around.

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Speaker 2: And then one of the most famous celebrity d us

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Speaker 2: has to be Nick Nolty because of his mugshot, which

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Speaker 2: I'm going to share. You might remember this one had

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Speaker 2: to inspire a lot of Halloween costumes.

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Speaker 3: I a million percent remember it. And the hair, the face,

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Speaker 3: it's fine, where were you where? Everyone was okay with

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Speaker 3: that shirt? You don't have one friend. You don't have

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Speaker 3: one friend.

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Speaker 1: It's the shirt, not the hair for you.

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Speaker 3: The hair, I'm fine with the hair. Honestly, tell me

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Speaker 3: you just got out of the shower. But that shirt

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Speaker 3: that tells me you just got out of the sun.

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Speaker 3: My question about the hair, like it looks like it

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Speaker 3: would be very thin and kind of stringing, and yet

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Speaker 3: it's stuck out like to the sides as if it's

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Speaker 3: been hairspry. It does look like he put product in

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Speaker 3: it that he doesn't know what to do with. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: he thought you just put it in that you don't

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Speaker 3: have to shape it. Also, who's to say he wasn't

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Speaker 3: recently electrocuted?

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Speaker 1: That is the other explanation.

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Speaker 2: Also, the pattern on the shirt doesn't exactly line up right.

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Speaker 2: See that yellow flower is just cut in half and

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Speaker 2: it runs into a pink flow.

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Speaker 1: What's happening?

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Speaker 3: The top button seems strange with the collar. It kind

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Speaker 3: of makes me feel like this is where Tim Robinson

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Speaker 3: got the idea for that sketch from, I think you

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Speaker 3: should leave the crazy shirt sketch.

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Speaker 1: Well, you're gonna like.

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Speaker 2: This shirt even more when I tell you the backstory

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Speaker 2: behind his rest. Yeah, he wasn't actually drunk. He was

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Speaker 2: on the club drug GHB at the time. Okay, here's

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Speaker 2: what he wrote about it in his memoir titled Rebel.

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Speaker 2: I took GHB prior to going to the gym for

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Speaker 2: a long workout. He writes, A strong dose made me

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Speaker 2: feel great, Yet I knew I was repeating with GHB

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Speaker 2: the addicted cycle I'd been in before. After the gym,

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Speaker 2: Nick went to an alcoholics anonymous meeting at a church

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Speaker 2: near his house and he started to feel extremely high

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Speaker 2: during the meeting. So he's at AAA. The GHB's really

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Speaker 2: kicking in now. He barely remembers driving home. Six different

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Speaker 2: drivers called nine to one one to report him, and

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Speaker 2: he was arrested on his way home from.

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Speaker 1: An AA meeting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so he owned it all later. I think he

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Speaker 2: acknowledges the meme that he became.

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Speaker 3: I don't know enough about GHB, so I don't know

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Speaker 3: if it's one of those things that gives you a

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Speaker 3: high and you drive like a lunatic. But if six

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Speaker 3: people are calling things aren't correct, I'm like, what were

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Speaker 3: you doing?

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Speaker 1: What were you doing?

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Speaker 2: And then two summers ago we had justin Timberlake out

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Speaker 2: in sag Harbor.

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Speaker 1: Oh I forgot about that.

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Speaker 2: This monkshot became a meme. I'll show you this one too.

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Speaker 2: And if you remember this one.

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Speaker 1: Look in a little glassy eyed that looks so AI.

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Speaker 1: It does right.

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Speaker 3: It looks like someone was hired to do a Madam

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Speaker 3: Trussodes of Jude Law but screwed it up, like was

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Speaker 3: aiming for Jude Law and then had to settle on Timberlake.

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Speaker 2: Like the eyes do look AI, even though I believe

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Speaker 2: they're also just glassy, because I.

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Speaker 1: Think they're just glassy. He's probably baked. I'm not gonna lie.

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Speaker 1: I genuinely think this is a good looking photo. It

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Speaker 1: is a good looking like if I looked like that,

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Speaker 1: I would I would send that out as my head shot.

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Speaker 1: That would be your tender profile. Pick my tender profile

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Speaker 1: would be my DUI pick.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I agree, it's like Bieber's Bieber look

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Speaker 3: great too good. I mean, look good hair, good facial hair.

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Speaker 3: I like the salt and pepper he's doing with the

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Speaker 3: chin there.

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Speaker 1: It's good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree, it's a good look. Well, the internet

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Speaker 2: had a lot of fun with this one.

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Speaker 3: He's got perfect ears. Really, look at that. Look at

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Speaker 3: how perfect his ears are.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna put this one on the Instagram with him.

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Speaker 3: I already knew Justin Timberlake was attractive, like we all

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Speaker 3: know that it's a part of his brand.

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Speaker 1: But this is a good mature attractive.

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Speaker 2: Like he's aged into his look.

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Speaker 1: He's aged into it. Nice. Nulty not so much.

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Speaker 3: No, so let that be a lesson, folks pot over

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Speaker 3: thhc over GHB.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the internet had fun with this one because and

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Speaker 2: I don't know how you totally approve this, but supposedly

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Speaker 2: the cop who pulled him over didn't recognize him, and

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Speaker 2: when JT said this is going to ruin the tour,

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Speaker 2: the cop said, what tour? I do remember that, and

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Speaker 2: he supposedly said the World Tour, which by the way,

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Speaker 2: was his first tour in five years.

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Speaker 1: Kind of a big deal, so he was freaking out.

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Speaker 2: I think that this DUI could legitimately screw up this

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Speaker 2: as someone who's been out on tour, Yeah, it could

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Speaker 2: be a problem if you have to cancel a bunch

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Speaker 2: of dates, I think.

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Speaker 1: Right, yeah, But I don't think anything got disrupted, right. No.

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Speaker 3: In the end, he pleaded guilty to a lesser charge,

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Speaker 3: a DWAI, which stands for driving with ability impaired, which

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Speaker 3: sounds kind of like a bullshit lawyer thing.

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Speaker 1: I love that AI is in there.

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Speaker 3: After we said that, oh, driving while artificially intelligent.

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Speaker 2: Driving with ability impaired seems kind of like the same thing.

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Speaker 3: It does seem like that cop made it up really

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Speaker 3: quick just to get a selfie.

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Speaker 1: Once he found out who it was, I'm gonna give

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Speaker 1: you a d DWAI seven twelve.

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Speaker 2: He was also fined and he had ordered a complete

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Speaker 2: twenty five hours of community service and he had to

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Speaker 2: make a PSA about the dangers of.

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Speaker 1: Driving while impaired. There you go.

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Speaker 2: So how did he dodge lesser charge? He hired a

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Speaker 2: very good lawyer. There's a pretty famous lawyer out in

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Speaker 2: the Hamptons that he could easily afford, which brings me

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Speaker 2: to a fun follow up. Okay, question, great, what is

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Speaker 2: the best way to get out of a duiland? I

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Speaker 2: will not accept hire the same lawyer as justin Timberlake.

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Speaker 3: He's about in the moment. Yeah, in the moment, I

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Speaker 3: don't know. Run Okay, that's the best way. That's the

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Speaker 3: best way that works out. Often I run from cops,

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Speaker 3: run while impaired. Yeah, when you're definitely at your worst

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Speaker 3: in running. Imagine that Nick Nolty running. Yeah, I mean

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Speaker 3: that'd be pretty funny. I mean, if it's really GHB,

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Speaker 3: i'd gotta like to see it. Yeah, like Jesus, he

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Speaker 3: just climbed that tree like a gorilla.

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Speaker 2: Wow, or just like he's just kool aid man through

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Speaker 2: a chain link fence just like yeah, oh my god.

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Speaker 2: All right, So I do have an answer for this,

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Speaker 2: but I'm gonna make you wait until after the titles

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Speaker 2: because this week on crime Less, we are making like

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Speaker 2: justin Timberlake and beating our DUIs sort of okay, stay tuned, Hello,

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Speaker 2: and welcome to crime Less, the podcast that celebrates the

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Speaker 2: amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals and gives you

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Speaker 2: the best possible legal advice when you're pulled over for

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Speaker 2: suspicion of driving under the influence.

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Speaker 1: PS for the lawyers, that's a joke. Don't drink and drive.

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Speaker 1: Don't do that, folks.

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Speaker 2: We're not celebrating the actions here, celebrating the aftermath.

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Speaker 3: We know we're having fun over here, but it's just

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Speaker 3: that it's just some good verbal fun.

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Speaker 2: No one was injured in any of these stories. That

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Speaker 2: doesn't mean it's okay.

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Speaker 1: That's right. So okay. I did wonder after thinking about.

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Speaker 2: JT, if there's a fool proof way to beat the

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Speaker 2: rap if you ever do make this mistake, And I

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Speaker 2: think I found the perfect case. Okay, for this one,

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Speaker 2: We're going to leave the US and head all the

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Speaker 2: way to South Korea.

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Speaker 1: Yep, to Diegu Degu or Diegu did not see this

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Speaker 1: coming at all.

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Speaker 2: In Daegu, South Korea, sixty year old man is pulled

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Speaker 2: over by cops who suspected that he'd been driving drunk.

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Speaker 2: But this man was quick on his feet. He pulled over,

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Speaker 2: and he came up with a very clever plan to

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Speaker 2: beat the rap and he guess.

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Speaker 1: I really don't know. I don't know how you do it. Okay.

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Speaker 2: He got out of the car and he chugged an

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Speaker 2: entire bottle of soju in according to witnesses who testified

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Speaker 2: in court, thirty nine seconds.

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Speaker 1: That's it, okay, I like this. I like what I'm

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Speaker 1: here and here.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how big the bottle was, but thirty

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Speaker 2: nine seconds, I guess he gets up, make sure that they.

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Speaker 1: Can see him, and he chugs the bottle. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I guess he's thinking, well, yeah, I'm gonna blow.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna fail this thing. But if I drink this bottle,

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Speaker 2: then they don't know. What if I just got drunk now?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: Right, yeah, But the cops weren't deterred. They felt like

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Speaker 2: they could still nail this guy. So we're gonna get

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Speaker 2: a little sciency. They took his blood alcohol at the

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Speaker 2: station about forty minutes later, and used something called the

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Speaker 2: Widmark formula okay, to try and figure out how much

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Speaker 2: booze he had before he chugged the sojou. So, as

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Speaker 2: of course, you know the Widmark formula's name for the

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Speaker 2: Swedish scientist Eric mp Widmark.

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Speaker 3: I was gonna say, because I was like, if you

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Speaker 3: don't tell this audience, I'm gonna tell him.

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Speaker 2: Who was of course, as you know, a pioneer in

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Speaker 2: the field of forensic toxicology toxic colleges.

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Speaker 1: Yet.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and he figured out a way to calculate alcohol's absorption,

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Speaker 2: distribution and elimination in people to come up with a

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Speaker 2: formula that can use a person's current blood alcohol and

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Speaker 2: some other factors to estimate their blood alcohol at an earlier.

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Speaker 1: Point of time in dui cases. Wow.

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Speaker 2: So the Widmark formula calculates BAC using weight, gender, and

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Speaker 2: the amount of alcohol consumed in a certain period.

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Speaker 1: Stick with me here. The formula is as follows.

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Speaker 2: Okay, when blood alcohol content equals alcohol consumed in grams

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Speaker 2: divided by body weight in grams times are times.

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Speaker 1: One hundred, when are equals gender. I got that, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I obviously I've got it. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So, by the way, our is gender point five

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Speaker 2: to five for females, in point six to eight for males.

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Speaker 1: Right, everybody that's.

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Speaker 2: Listening and grahams of alcohol consumed is the number of

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Speaker 2: drinks times fourteen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we all know. We all know that it gets.

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Speaker 2: A little more complicated than that. Rory and I would

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Speaker 2: eat a chalkboard to explain. We'll say that for a bonus,

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Speaker 2: it gets more complicated than that.

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Speaker 3: Okay, good, good to know you got that part right,

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Speaker 3: Good to know point five to five?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay.

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Speaker 2: One really fun fact I did learn is that everyone

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Speaker 2: metabolizes alcohol at the same rate. It's point zero one

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Speaker 2: five an hour, no matter who you are. Oh, okay,

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Speaker 2: don't know what that was helpful to us, but that's interesting.

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Speaker 3: It is interesting. It does make it feel like the

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Speaker 3: playing field is level. For some reason.

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Speaker 2: I would have thought Nick Nolty metabolized it faster than Beaver.

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Speaker 1: But no, yeah, at the same right, But no, they're

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Speaker 1: the same. Okay.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, the Korean cops used this formula to determine that

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Speaker 3: his blood alcohol before chugging the soju was above the

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Speaker 3: legal limit at point zero three and charged him. So

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Speaker 3: our guy doesn't take it. He decides to go to

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Speaker 3: court and fight. Yep, and guess what Rory he wants

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Speaker 3: he wins, he wins, he wins.

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Speaker 2: The judge decided it was impossible to determine how intoxicated

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Speaker 2: the man was while driving based on circumstantial evidence or speculation,

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Speaker 2: so he won.

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Speaker 3: So this judge was like, I don't care about your science.

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Speaker 3: That does explain it. Get this, Get this Swedish guy.

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Speaker 3: Get Widmark out of my court with yeah, I guess.

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Speaker 3: I mean, there you go, this like mumbo jumbo Swedish science.

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Speaker 3: You know, this does remind me of when I was

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Speaker 3: hit in a hit and run. Oh, when I was

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Speaker 3: in high I was going through an intersection that had

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Speaker 3: just turned green and someone was running through the red light.

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Speaker 3: It spun my car and then they drove off and

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Speaker 3: other cars followed them to get their license plate. Oh

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Speaker 3: and I remember when I met with the police officer

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Speaker 3: before the court date, which they did not show up for.

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Speaker 3: The officer said when he went to their house, he

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Speaker 3: was like, they had clearly been drinking heavily. However, you

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Speaker 3: cannot prove when they were drinking, and so they could

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Speaker 3: easily argue they got into the accident where so frazzled went.

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Speaker 1: Home and started drinking as much as they could. And

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Speaker 1: I was like Oh, that's yeah. I didn't know about Widmark.

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Speaker 1: As a high school kid, I would have gone, I

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Speaker 1: believe there is one test week and run mister Woodmark. Perhaps.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, it's like you told that story because you

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Speaker 2: knew it was coming. Next you've teed up my Oh

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Speaker 2: here we go, because before you stuff your glove box

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Speaker 2: full of soju and try this at home, I would

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Speaker 2: be remiss if I didn't point out a different Korean

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Speaker 2: story that poked some holes in this strategy. YS a

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Speaker 2: magic bullet, So this one is hot off the press.

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Speaker 2: Just this month, a Korean actor named Lee j Wrong

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Speaker 2: He's sixty two, was in the news for a similar story.

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Speaker 2: He apparently ran into a divider, but took off and

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Speaker 2: parked his house, then went and met a friend for drinks,

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Speaker 2: so that when cops caught up with him, he claimed

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Speaker 2: he'd done all his drinking.

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Speaker 1: After the accident.

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Speaker 2: Yep, cops foundly at a friend's house about two am,

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Speaker 2: three hours after the crash. They took his blood alcohol

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Speaker 2: and it was allegedly high enough that he would lose

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Speaker 2: his license if convicted. He claimed that he'd just been

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Speaker 2: drinking with his friends. So basically what you described that

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Speaker 2: person did he did. He's like, I'm gonna park, get

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Speaker 2: out of the car, go.

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Speaker 1: Somewhere and get drunk. Yep.

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Speaker 2: Well, in this case, unfortunately, I guess Lee caved under

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Speaker 2: pressure because he later admitted that he was drinking. He'd

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Speaker 2: had four drinks before hitting the media. And I want

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Speaker 2: to guess what kind what kind of drinks?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Is it always soju?

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Speaker 2: The sojuga? I guess that's what everyone's drinking in Korea.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 2: So cops charged him not only with dui, but also

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Speaker 2: with obstructing a breath test by something called alcohol rinsing oh.

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Speaker 2: According to the Korean Road Traffic Act, using alcohol or

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Speaker 2: pharmaceuticals for the purpose of making a breath test difficult

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Speaker 2: as punishable by one to five years in prison or

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Speaker 2: a fine of five to twenty million one. The provision

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Speaker 2: was introduced after the case of singer Kim Hujong, who

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Speaker 2: sought to evade punishment with alcohol rinsing following a drunken

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Speaker 2: driving crash in twenty twenty four, and has been in

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Speaker 2: effect since June of last year. So you no longer

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Speaker 2: that one guy got in before the law check got

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Speaker 2: it just under the wire, just under the wire. So

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Speaker 2: this guy Kim, who's described as a papera singer.

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Speaker 1: I guess that's pop opera that now now I'm learning.

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Speaker 1: Now you're teaching, Josh, I didn't know that was a thing.

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Speaker 1: I did not either.

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Speaker 2: I also learned that So Kim, the popera singer, really

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Speaker 2: ruined it for everyone. He crashed into a taxi, then

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Speaker 2: ran and made his manager take the fall for the accident,

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Speaker 2: as one does. Yeah, all right, everpinned a crime or

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Speaker 2: two on your manager?

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Speaker 1: I will now now that I know that's an option.

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Speaker 2: So Kim botbeer checked into a hotel and drank it

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Speaker 2: to quote, apparently distored his blood alcohol content.

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Speaker 1: According to a Korean news.

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Speaker 2: Report, this backfired in a big way because Kim was

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Speaker 2: caught and charged. He got two point five years in jail.

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Speaker 3: Man.

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Speaker 2: Don't try this at home, folks, and definitely not in Korea.

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Speaker 1: Not in Korea.

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Speaker 2: He made it so much worse for himself, in fact,

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Speaker 2: by throwing his manager under the bus, going to a hotel,

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Speaker 2: drinking more, and trying to pretend that he hadn't been

385
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Speaker 2: drinking in the first place. Yep, he probably would have

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Speaker 2: just paid a fine and maybe lost his license.

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Speaker 1: Instead, he spent two and a half years in jail.

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Speaker 1: You know, the.

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Speaker 3: Universe has different different stories for each of us, different paths.

390
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Speaker 3: Often it's like, when you screw up, you got to

391
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Speaker 3: just own it. It is best to own it as

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Speaker 3: soon as possible. It does not work out often when

393
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Speaker 3: you try and like make up a lie, it doesn't.

394
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Speaker 3: So our next story isn't exactly on theme. It isn't

395
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Speaker 3: the story of the guy who got it away, but

396
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Speaker 3: it's a spiritual cousin. It's a guy who got away temporarily. Okay,

397
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,520
Speaker 3: I'm gonna play a video forty well, lane is it's

398
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Speaker 3: forty eight seconds.

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Speaker 1: Stop, stop, give you a great good. He's drinking some

400
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:23,000
Speaker 1: looks like a beer or something. What did that do?

401
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,080
Speaker 1: I don't know. I have a question.

402
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,040
Speaker 4: A bumper off?

403
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:33,160
Speaker 1: Show me your head now? Oh wow, did not see

404
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,640
Speaker 1: this montage coming? Did you see him blow smoke out?

405
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:37,920
Speaker 1: You know? Now?

406
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Speaker 3: He was taste a lot of stupid right now? What's

407
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:46,120
Speaker 3: that fun? All right?

408
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:52,359
Speaker 1: You know? You know? I mean what a good attitude

409
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Speaker 1: outside of the rerecory could have easily killed somebody. What

410
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Speaker 1: did you see that? Rory?

411
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Speaker 2: Can you sum up what you think transpired there?

412
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Speaker 3: I am sure at how casual this cop is. He's like,

413
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Speaker 3: I got other guys out there.

414
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:04,600
Speaker 1: Look.

415
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Speaker 3: The guy in the van drives by, holds his beer

416
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:10,800
Speaker 3: out the window, says hi, and drives off. And the

417
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Speaker 3: cop doesn't even jump in the police cruiser to quickly

418
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Speaker 3: go after him. And I guess eventually he I don't know.

419
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,119
Speaker 3: He was driving so slow in the opposite lane. He

420
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Speaker 3: was for sure like fucked up and shit. And then

421
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:24,679
Speaker 3: he called ahead and they did something. They put a

422
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,679
Speaker 3: string across the road. I don't understand what that. I

423
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,080
Speaker 3: don't know what's going on with the string. But as

424
00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:30,320
Speaker 3: the car was hitting it, I was like, is he

425
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Speaker 3: is that a human just holding a string against the car?

426
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,879
Speaker 3: Like what is this about to do? It must have

427
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,679
Speaker 3: done something. They're like, oh, that didn't work. Had the

428
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:42,800
Speaker 3: old measuring tape. We thought the measuring tape would contain

429
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,840
Speaker 3: the five ton. So then what happened when he got

430
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,919
Speaker 3: out of the car, he just started walking with a

431
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:49,440
Speaker 3: cigarette and then they tasted.

432
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Speaker 2: Him and then he got up, but he wasn't mad.

433
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 3: And he wasn't even mad. They got him up and

434
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:57,120
Speaker 3: he was like, yoh, I had fun right to the cops. Yeah,

435
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Speaker 3: And he asked him what he's getting arrested for and

436
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:02,280
Speaker 3: as though they time to list the four hundred different things, right,

437
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,240
Speaker 3: he did seem cool as a cucumber, though he did.

438
00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 3: I mean, the taser's no joke. He just dropped like

439
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,600
Speaker 3: a like he'd been killed. The taser is no joke.

440
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,320
Speaker 3: And it did seem like he just, I don't know,

441
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:16,280
Speaker 3: it seemed like he wants to go to jail. He

442
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:20,080
Speaker 3: had sort of a go ahead, let's do it. I'm ready,

443
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:21,080
Speaker 3: I'm finally ready.

444
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,000
Speaker 2: Well, sort of like our guy we were talking about,

445
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 2: the man who stops trafficing in whales, who just seems

446
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,080
Speaker 2: to want to go to jail over and over again.

447
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe this guy likes jail. And you're just kind

448
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,440
Speaker 3: of like, I mean, look, why don't we give it

449
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 3: to him? Why don't we get it? We want them

450
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:34,880
Speaker 3: in jail. They seem to want to be in jail.

451
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,920
Speaker 3: This seems like win win truly. So okay, I'm gonna

452
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:38,920
Speaker 3: I have some more information.

453
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 2: I can fill in the gaps for us a little

454
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,120
Speaker 2: bit here, right for starters, a layup, Where did this happen?

455
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:49,400
Speaker 3: Rory, let's going and go Florida, Wales or South Korea.

456
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:53,439
Speaker 2: Florida was highlands County, Florida. April of last year, the

457
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,960
Speaker 2: Sheriff's department posted that video with this title Strange things

458
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,840
Speaker 2: happen all the time when you're in law enforcement. This one, however,

459
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 2: make the books. Yeah, I'm just reading. This is all

460
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:06,280
Speaker 2: straight from the Highlands County Sheriff's Facebook page. It all

461
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:09,000
Speaker 2: started just before three on Saturday, April nineteen, when the

462
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 2: Spring Lake Market reported that thirty nine year old Richard

463
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,600
Speaker 2: Christopher Smith of Miami had stolen several items, including several

464
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:18,280
Speaker 2: alcoholic beverages, and walked out as deputies were on the way.

465
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,120
Speaker 2: It was reported that the man was in a black

466
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,320
Speaker 2: mini van driving in circles around the store.

467
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,000
Speaker 3: It seems like he was playing a ton of grand

468
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:29,120
Speaker 3: theft auto and it blurred the lines between the game

469
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:29,840
Speaker 3: and reality.

470
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,119
Speaker 1: Ah shit, here we go again.

471
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,480
Speaker 2: So to recap, it starts with Smith goes into a store,

472
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,359
Speaker 2: steals booze, gets in his minivan. It starts hot dogging

473
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:42,400
Speaker 2: around the parking lot. Yeah, so the post continues. When

474
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 2: deputies arrived, Smith sped off, launching a pursuit that ended

475
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 2: several miles later in the parking lot of the business

476
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,320
Speaker 2: at the Sebring Airport. It was During this pursuit, Smith

477
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:53,520
Speaker 2: held out a can of Kettlwan vodka spritz as he

478
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,359
Speaker 2: drove by a deputy, trying to get him to stop, saying,

479
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,080
Speaker 2: I was just going to give you a drink, that's it,

480
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 2: as he passed. Yeah, we don't know if he was

481
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,600
Speaker 2: expecting us to just say cheers he let him go,

482
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 2: or what I'm still quoting here from them, Yes, yeah, yeah.

483
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 2: After his toast, Smith attempted to ram to patrol vehicles

484
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,320
Speaker 2: in the midst of getting all four tires flattened by

485
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,520
Speaker 2: spike strips. Oh, they were laying spike strips.

486
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,719
Speaker 1: It sounds like they were a little late to it,

487
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,520
Speaker 1: didn't I think they were. They were too late. He beat,

488
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 1: he got again, GTA, he got there like he beat.

489
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 1: He knew because of the GTA training. So the GTAT

490
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:26,760
Speaker 1: Finally he crashes.

491
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,199
Speaker 2: He gets out with the drink and he's smoking a

492
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:30,560
Speaker 2: cigarette and he gets tased.

493
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:34,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, hilariously, it just dropped like a sniper. It hit him.

494
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people you need to know this.

495
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 3: If you haven't seen footage of people getting tasted, and

496
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,760
Speaker 3: I gotta assume you have by now with social media,

497
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 3: But keep in mind when you get tased, you can't

498
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:49,400
Speaker 3: control your arms to keep your face from slamming into

499
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:54,240
Speaker 3: the pavement. Yeah, you hope grass He was lucky actually

500
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 3: because it was pavement. So when they bring him up,

501
00:22:56,320 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 3: he's got a bloody face because of that tasing, I believe. Yeah,

502
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 3: you can't shield your yourself. You're also proudly being tasted

503
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:08,439
Speaker 3: so hard you don't even feel the impact of the ground,

504
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,400
Speaker 3: but you definitely are gonna get scratched up.

505
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 2: I'm gonna guess people piss themselves, possibly crap their pants too.

506
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 1: I would just take the opportunity to be like, that's

507
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 1: why I did that. It wasn't my fault, it was

508
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 1: sorry unconscious.

509
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 2: He was charged with two counts of aggravated assault on

510
00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:25,840
Speaker 2: a law enforcement officer, battery on a law enforcement officer,

511
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 2: two counts of resisting arrest DUI, refusal to submit to

512
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:33,480
Speaker 2: a DUI test, and pettit theft I guess not blow

513
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 2: a certain amount. His bond was set at one hundred

514
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 2: and twenty thousand dollars, and the Sheriff's Facebook page finishes

515
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,479
Speaker 2: we would be very interested to hear from anyone else

516
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,920
Speaker 2: who's been offered a vodka spritzer by their suspect in

517
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 2: the middle of a vehicle pursuit, Or that the same

518
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,040
Speaker 2: suspect calmly tried to walk away from a crash puffing

519
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:52,200
Speaker 2: on a cigarette despite being surrounded by deputies, or yes,

520
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,439
Speaker 2: it keeps going. That same suspect asked why he was

521
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,680
Speaker 2: being arrested and comment to the deputies, you guys had

522
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 2: fun though, right, I mean, they're definitely.

523
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 1: Having fun on their social media.

524
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, so in a way he was right, he was

525
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 3: did it mention what his like? I guess see that

526
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:14,159
Speaker 3: probably trial hasn't happened yet, that was not reported. I

527
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,880
Speaker 3: am very curious with that. The consequence ends of being.

528
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 2: I didn't have time to run the Woodmark formula either

529
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:22,479
Speaker 2: unfortunately or right.

530
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, what and what what do we

531
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:25,879
Speaker 3: get with the witty points?

532
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 1: A witty points for this unclear?

533
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:29,359
Speaker 2: But I don't think they even needed, like he says,

534
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 2: he refused to take the test.

535
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,320
Speaker 1: I think they were just like, dude, you're drunk.

536
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:35,639
Speaker 3: Like clearly they were like, look, we'd actually rather not

537
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,160
Speaker 3: give you the test to waste the time we could

538
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 3: look at you.

539
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:39,240
Speaker 1: And no.

540
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 2: This is one of the many things I'm learning on

541
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:43,880
Speaker 2: crimes is that some of our police departments have pretty

542
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:44,720
Speaker 2: good sensitive humor.

543
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 1: That was I was highly entertained by all of that.

544
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, it assumes strange they're allowed to post that, But

545
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 3: I guess you just I guess cops are just allowed

546
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:54,440
Speaker 3: to roast us.

547
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 2: I think if yeah, because if bodycam footage captured in

548
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 2: the process of doing their jobs is.

549
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's sure so strange when they want to roast us,

550
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:08,159
Speaker 3: their bodycam footage is on and working and retrievable. But

551
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 3: when they're when they're screwing up and doing something illegal,

552
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,119
Speaker 3: somehow there's no bodycam footage.

553
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 1: This is our crime less gets political segments. That's our

554
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: crime less gets political in America. It's a very good point.

555
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,639
Speaker 3: Actually, yeah, it's interesting when they do and don't have

556
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 3: body cam footage. Well, after the break, we're gonna have

557
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:31,680
Speaker 3: more fun with the US, but you should not do Okay,

558
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 3: just to be clear for the lawyers, we're not condoning,

559
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 3: we're just laughing.

560
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:43,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is crimeless.

561
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:47,159
Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome back to Crimeless, your one stop shop

562
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 2: for stories about fun ass d UIs just kidding.

563
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 1: All the US are very serious. All of them are

564
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:55,960
Speaker 1: not fun. Maybe to talk about later. A couple, Yeah,

565
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 1: more fun. Some are fun. We found the fun ones.

566
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,719
Speaker 2: Can you get a DUI for operating a vehicle that

567
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 2: is not a car?

568
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 1: Yes? Yes, correct, I believe you can.

569
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,959
Speaker 3: I think that's why it's driving under the influence, to

570
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,680
Speaker 3: create some sort of umbrella of that action. Yeah, yep,

571
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:14,800
Speaker 3: operating machinery, et cetera.

572
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:19,400
Speaker 2: For a good example, we are going to go to Florida.

573
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 1: I thought we're already there. I didn't do this on purpose.

574
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 3: We're going there. We're already there from the previously. It's

575
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 3: our spiritual home. We basically our po boxes in Florida. Yeah,

576
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,000
Speaker 3: just Crimeles care of Florida. It's so funny too that

577
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,159
Speaker 3: during elections Florida is such a big like and what

578
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 3: did Florida vote? It's like, are these news stories not

579
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 3: enough that maybe they should have less representatives?

580
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:45,639
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't think I need to tell you

581
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 2: who are next subject suspect voted for? Okay, this is

582
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 2: in twenty twelve, so you wouldn't yet have had a chance.

583
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:54,920
Speaker 2: But let's say if he's still around, so he would

584
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:59,679
Speaker 2: we would. A sixty eight year old man named James

585
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:02,119
Speaker 2: David was on his way home from cutting grass on

586
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 2: his riding mower, and he stopped to buy an eighteen

587
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 2: pack of natural ice because, according to the Gainesville Sun,

588
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 2: he was hot and depressed.

589
00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:12,480
Speaker 3: Let me go ahead and put out a few opinions early.

590
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:16,439
Speaker 3: I'm okay with all of this. If we're gonna consider

591
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 3: natural ice alcohol, then I mean it's mostly water.

592
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 1: Folks. He's thirsty and he just cut grass. He's on

593
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 1: a rod grass. He wants a little bit of a buzz.

594
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 1: What's the top speed of this lawnmower? Well, okay.

595
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:32,640
Speaker 2: A sheriff's deputy happened to be cruising through the neighborhood

596
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 2: when he saw Gray on the red moller going south

597
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 2: in a northbound lane.

598
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,120
Speaker 1: So he was in a road. I let me take

599
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 1: back my previous statements.

600
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,680
Speaker 3: So I guess if he'd stayed on the sidewalk, maybe,

601
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 3: if you'd just gone through people's if you've just done

602
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,680
Speaker 3: a public service of cutting everyone else's grass on it

603
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,160
Speaker 3: feels like so animated, like an episode of the Simpsons.

604
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,640
Speaker 1: Get it, every front yard like one long striped, one

605
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,880
Speaker 1: big line. So this cop pulls him over.

606
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:00,879
Speaker 2: He found that he had bloodshot and he was slurring.

607
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:03,119
Speaker 2: He also observed that his breath had a quote strong

608
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 2: smell of alcohol, and there was a cold beer opening

609
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:06,439
Speaker 2: a cup holder.

610
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 1: Yep.

611
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 2: Gray told the cops he'd driven about two and a

612
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 2: half miles from the store and he had only four

613
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 2: beers left.

614
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:18,399
Speaker 1: Okay, oh, okay, see what I mean, that's water he

615
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 1: had a half mile ago.

616
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:22,480
Speaker 2: So in two miles he drank fourteen beers on the lawnmower.

617
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:25,399
Speaker 1: I believe him. That's I mean, his top speed is

618
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 1: well true. I mean he's crawling. This guy's crawling.

619
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:31,919
Speaker 2: What I don't know is was he just crushed him

620
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 2: and throwing him over his shoulder.

621
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 1: Did he leave a trail of crushed even cooler litters?

622
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 1: Cool kids, Any kids that listen to this know that

623
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 1: littering is so cool, so cool in Florida. In Florida,

624
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 1: for sure.

625
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 2: So he failed a field sobriety test. He blew point

626
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 2: one four, nearly doubled the legal limit. He was charged

627
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 2: with d UI. It was his fifth Yep. The lawnmower

628
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 2: was a rental and he had to return it. Oh well,

629
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 2: he was making he was renting to own, he was

630
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 2: making payments.

631
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 1: He was going to buy, got it, got it? Okay?

632
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 2: So now I had only planned to share one more

633
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 2: of these, but I couldn't decide because there were so many.

634
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 2: So I have two more non Cardui stories, and you're

635
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 2: gonna hear both of them. Okay, we're gonna temporarily bid

636
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 2: farewell to Florida until next week when I'm sure we'll

637
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 2: be back bye.

638
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 3: And this time we're gonna go to jolly old England.

639
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 3: We shouldn't sleep on the UK, not Wales, but England.

640
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 3: What is a dumber thing to be arrested.

641
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 1: In in a lawndower U? A unicycle? An electric Barbie car. Actually,

642
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 1: a unicycle would be it would be impressed.

643
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 2: That's impressive. If you can drink fourteen beers.

644
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 1: And I actually would. You should get a key to

645
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 1: the city if you can shit.

646
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 2: It's an electric Barbi car. With the answers yes, that's perfect.

647
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 2: So let's hop in the way back machine to twenty

648
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 2: ten for the story of a forty year old named

649
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 2: Paul Hutton, who was pulled over by cops just down

650
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 2: the street from his Essex.

651
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 1: Home driving a Barbie car yep.

652
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 2: When he appeared in court, Hutton said, you have to

653
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:58,480
Speaker 2: be a contortionist to get in, and then you can't

654
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 2: get out. I was very surprised to get done for

655
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:03,200
Speaker 2: drink driving. But I was a twit to say the least.

656
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,080
Speaker 2: It is designed for three to five year olds.

657
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 1: Well, I mean to come to that conclusion is wildly mature,

658
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 1: despite the visuals were set up to let you know

659
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:15,640
Speaker 1: that it was for three to five year olds.

660
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 2: Listen, your honor. Yeah, I was a twit. Also, you

661
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 2: can go much faster by just walking. So last do

662
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,160
Speaker 2: you think Paul's a weirdo? He does have kids, four

663
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 2: of them, the youngest is eleven. Paul is a divorced

664
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,280
Speaker 2: former aeronautical engineer in the Royal Air Force who's furthering

665
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 2: his studies and electrical engineering at Colchester University. He explained

666
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 2: that as part of his coursework, he was modifying the

667
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:38,959
Speaker 2: car with his son, who was studying to be an

668
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 2: auto mechanic.

669
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 1: Okay, so they did some.

670
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 2: Mods, including adding bigger wheels and quote. When it was done,

671
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 2: I couldn't resist the temptation to take it out, he.

672
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 3: Said, Based on what you just said, I would also

673
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 3: be very tempted. Unfortunately he was drunk when he did it.

674
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 3: I know, but if I'm hanging out with my kid,

675
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 3: we're building a car I'm going to have a few

676
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 3: drinks too, you know what I mean. Then we got

677
00:30:59,120 --> 00:30:59,800
Speaker 3: a test drive it.

678
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 2: You might have three or fourteen natural ices.

679
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 1: I mean.

680
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:07,480
Speaker 3: The good news is this is the only dui where

681
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 3: he for sure can't kill anyone else.

682
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 1: Only he can die in this scenario. I'm not even

683
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 1: sure a dog would be killed in a barbee car.

684
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 1: I think a dog would yeah, barely scraped. If anything.

685
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 1: It goes like two miles an hour. I want to

686
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:28,040
Speaker 1: see it in motion. I want to know how fast

687
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 1: they modded this thing out. He blew twice I legal

688
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 1: and he lost his license for three years. This is

689
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 1: most unusual. Chairman of the Bench Neil Munson said, as

690
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 1: quoted by the Telegraph, I have never seen the like

691
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 1: of it in fifteen years on the bench. That vehicle

692
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,239
Speaker 1: is not even capable of doing the speed of a

693
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 1: mobility scooter and could be outrun by a pedestrian.

694
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 3: Which is why you almost want to be like, is

695
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 3: it so bad? I know, I know it's yeah.

696
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 2: I'm sure why his lawyer, you think would have stood

697
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 2: up and said, then what are we doing here?

698
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,240
Speaker 1: It feels like you're arguing on our back.

699
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 2: Half, like your honor, no one was in danger here.

700
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,480
Speaker 2: I guess their case would be like you were you

701
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 2: put yourself in danger, like you could have been killed,

702
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 2: which is I.

703
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 1: Guess, yeah, yeah, yeah.

704
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 3: Or you're inspiring onlooking children to make poor choices.

705
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 1: That's true. Yeah, you got to make an example of

706
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 1: this man. Yeah, yeah, all right, Well I do have

707
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 1: one more for you.

708
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 2: What even dumber than a Barbie car?

709
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:25,320
Speaker 1: Oh? Man, that one felt so stupid. I don't know

710
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 1: roller skates.

711
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 2: I want to say I had some options here, there

712
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 2: were more I would have accepted multiples. We're gonna go

713
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 2: with motorized recliner.

714
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 1: It's getting very Mario Kart now for this one.

715
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 2: We're gonna head to Minnesota, the town of Procter and

716
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 2: back in August twenty two thousand and eight, sixty two

717
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 2: year old.

718
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,360
Speaker 1: It's always a guy in his sixties retirement is not well.

719
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 3: I mean, that's just what happens. You hit your sixties

720
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:49,360
Speaker 3: and you're like, you know what, I'm not playing by

721
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 3: the rules.

722
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:50,960
Speaker 1: Fuck it.

723
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:54,960
Speaker 3: So a guy named Dennis Leroy Anderson left a bar

724
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 3: and drove into a parked car in his vehicle. His

725
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 3: vehicle was a recliner that had been modified by adding

726
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 3: a lawnmower, engine, headlights, a stereo, and cup holders, plus

727
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 3: some National hot Rod Association stickers. Its top speed was

728
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 3: twenty miles an hour, and.

729
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,080
Speaker 1: I actually kind of respect the fuck out of that.

730
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 1: I got a photo for you. There is yes, yeah,

731
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 1: oh my god, working headlights. I love it. I actually

732
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 1: love it. It's yeah.

733
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,760
Speaker 2: I mean, Roy would describe it to anyone who's listening

734
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 2: at home.

735
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 3: It looks like something you would love to have. It

736
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 3: looks very fun. It does look like a secret cheek

737
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 3: code in Mario Kart where you can drive a recliner.

738
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 1: It's all black.

739
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 3: The steering wheel is the most the least desirable steering

740
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 3: wheel you could ever imagine, but it's gouty controls. It

741
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 3: actually looks like the fact that this thing functions is hilarious.

742
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 3: The seating looks like a wood plank. I'd want to

743
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 3: adjust that. I love that it has drink holders.

744
00:33:57,880 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 1: And the headlights are amazing.

745
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 3: I'll tell you you bring this to burning Man. You're

746
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 3: making friends.

747
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're right. This should be at burning Man.

748
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 1: Stuff like this is at burning Man even better than this.

749
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 2: So no one was injured, but he did blow a

750
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 2: point twenty nine three times the legal limit. He pleaded

751
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 2: guilty to drunk driving got two years probation. Worst of all,

752
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 2: cops seized the hot rod chair. Yeah, yep, and the sheriff.

753
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 3: The police chief said, we have confiscated luxury cars to junkers,

754
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:31,799
Speaker 3: four wheel drives, pickups, snowmobiles, and trailers, but we never

755
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 3: expected anything like this.

756
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 1: Yeah. Of course.

757
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 2: A year later, his department put the chair up on

758
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 2: eBay with a minimum price of five hundred, and bidding

759
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 2: took off, reaching forty three thousand dollars before Proctor Police

760
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 2: had to take it down because Lazy Boy called and

761
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:49,239
Speaker 2: asked that it not be sold as a Lazy Boy

762
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 2: branded chair.

763
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:51,320
Speaker 1: Yeah.

764
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:55,240
Speaker 2: Their corporate council also contacted the Duluth, Minnesota News Tribune

765
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,560
Speaker 2: and asked it not use the trademark and news reports

766
00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 2: about the chair either. But I'm sorry, it's way too

767
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 2: late to put that cat back in the bag.

768
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

769
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,440
Speaker 2: For the record, the police chief said the chair was

770
00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 2: custom built in that there are no markings or manufacturers' names,

771
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:11,600
Speaker 2: which is exactly what you say after you've heard from

772
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 2: Lazy Boys lawyers.

773
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 1: Yep. Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. Sarah

774
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 1: forty three thousand dollars man.

775
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:20,480
Speaker 2: He said, I'm going to make sure we get it

776
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,839
Speaker 2: relisted for the auction and keep any trademark names out

777
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 2: of it.

778
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:23,359
Speaker 1: He said.

779
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:27,840
Speaker 2: He reposted it as DUI chair, motorized chair, and racing chair.

780
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,719
Speaker 3: I mean, here's the thing, why not go pay one

781
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:35,719
Speaker 3: thousand dollars and pay the original guide to just mod out.

782
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 3: He could start a business and just be like, this

783
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:39,279
Speaker 3: could be a job you have, that could be his

784
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 3: retirement job.

785
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 1: Exactly. Oh my god, people would buy the shit out

786
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 1: of those chairs. Exactly.

787
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:46,160
Speaker 3: It's been forty three thousand dollars to the cops to

788
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 3: go who knows, buy more surveillance gear.

789
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:52,959
Speaker 2: So two more winning bids fell through, and the chair

790
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 2: finally sold in twenty ten for thirty seven hundred dollars.

791
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 2: Proceeds went to the Procter Police Department. And that is

792
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:02,200
Speaker 2: the of our story. I literally could have gone for

793
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:04,319
Speaker 2: there's so many amazing We have to come back to

794
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:06,400
Speaker 2: the subject because there are a lot of stories of

795
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 2: people getting arrested for the US on ridiculous things.

796
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 1: We'll call them alternative Vehiclesative vehicles. Yeah, avs.

797
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:15,319
Speaker 2: I think you're right, Like maybe the forty three thousand

798
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,920
Speaker 2: dollar bid was a burner. It was going to burning

799
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 2: Man with some flames coming out the back.

800
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, rich burning man, dude.

801
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 2: All right, after the break, we compete to see who

802
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 2: can blow the higher blood alcohol content.

803
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:42,439
Speaker 5: Blazes Games Alcohol Editionhit, Hello, and welcome back to Crime List,

804
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 5: the only podcast hosted by two men and motorized recliners

805
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 5: that are definitely not.

806
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,359
Speaker 1: Made by Lazy Boy. That's exactly right.

807
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,920
Speaker 3: It seems like it is, but we've taken a black

808
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 3: marker to it and redacted it.

809
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:57,400
Speaker 1: I don't want to tangle with the Lazy Boy lawyers.

810
00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 1: I don't know about you.

811
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 3: Rory. Yeah, you know they've been through the ring are

812
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 3: a few times? All right, Rory, what's next?

813
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:05,920
Speaker 1: Well, I'll tell you what we got coming up. Josh,

814
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:10,719
Speaker 1: comeing up this hour. We've got lays game, Laine, what

815
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:11,680
Speaker 1: game are we playing?

816
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:16,400
Speaker 4: We're playing a cocktail themed game. On my first question me,

817
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 4: what's what's your go to cocktail guys?

818
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:24,720
Speaker 3: Okay, well I have I did dry January in twenty

819
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 3: twenty six and I've just kept it so I am

820
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 3: two and a half months into dry. But I'll go

821
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 3: ahead and tell you my faves when I go to

822
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:37,720
Speaker 3: a bar. I like to start with a paper plane, okay,

823
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,879
Speaker 3: and then I like to land that right in an

824
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:43,759
Speaker 3: old fashioned oh stunning paper plane is a good drink.

825
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,799
Speaker 2: Spicy margarita is my usual. I don't drink a lot

826
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:50,480
Speaker 2: of cocktails. Yeah, but I like a High West Bourbon

827
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 2: in that old fashion. No one asked, but just putting

828
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:53,240
Speaker 2: it out there.

829
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:55,960
Speaker 1: I guess now your drink will be a phony Negroni, or.

830
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:59,760
Speaker 3: Now it's it's the phony negroni. The phony ne gronny

831
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 3: that's pre bottled is not that bad. I did go

832
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,960
Speaker 3: to one bar in Boulder, Colorado that had an amazing

833
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 3: fake negronie that was so good it might have just

834
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:10,239
Speaker 3: been a negrone.

835
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:15,239
Speaker 1: I and I have been drinking this whole time, so

836
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:15,759
Speaker 1: I get you.

837
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,880
Speaker 4: So for this game, I'm going to tell you cocktail

838
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 4: and you just need to tell me the ingredients. You

839
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 4: don't have to tell me how to make it. You

840
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 4: just got to tell me what's in it. And for

841
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,759
Speaker 4: sake of fairness, I'm only going to be asking you

842
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:32,360
Speaker 4: about cocktails officially recognized by the International Bartenders Association.

843
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:33,279
Speaker 1: Thank you.

844
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, I know you guys are familiar with

845
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 4: the IBB.

846
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:39,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. First we got Josh and I talk about

847
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 1: it all the time.

848
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:43,799
Speaker 4: Yes, so no weird originals from like a bartender named

849
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:45,320
Speaker 4: Skyler in Brooklyn.

850
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 1: Who has a recliner that goes twenty miles per hour.

851
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:51,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, a softball to start, Josh, you mentioned margarita.

852
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:52,400
Speaker 4: What's in a margarita?

853
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:55,879
Speaker 1: Will you taking turns on one first? Yeah? Okay? Can

854
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 1: we be teammates because I'm not going to be good

855
00:38:57,719 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 1: at this?

856
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 4: You know you you order a paper plan. I feel

857
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:01,839
Speaker 4: like that's a one up on this.

858
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,279
Speaker 3: Oh okay, all right if you think I can win? Yeah,

859
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:07,399
Speaker 3: I don't think want to be teammates if I think

860
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:12,279
Speaker 3: I'm gonna lose, So okay, I'll go for It's tequila,

861
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 3: lime juice, Grand Marnier or triple sec I mean that's it, right.

862
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, often with a salted rim.

863
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:24,360
Speaker 3: Right, like a taheen rim on, my spicy Moore. Knew

864
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:25,880
Speaker 3: that you would be fancy?

865
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:29,879
Speaker 1: All right, one, that's one, Roy?

866
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:32,399
Speaker 4: I mean, are your teammates? I can't tell?

867
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 1: All right?

868
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:36,040
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, how about we'll take turns, but then we

869
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:37,600
Speaker 2: can help each other if one if the other one

870
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 2: knows the answer.

871
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:39,759
Speaker 1: All right, Rory, So you start this one.

872
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:43,879
Speaker 4: If you okay, Rory, how about a mohido mohiedo.

873
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 1: See this is what I'm going to be awful at this.

874
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 1: I can help you here, mohido I got it.

875
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:55,480
Speaker 3: If you don't, if you, yeah, get in here. What

876
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:57,719
Speaker 3: give me one thing maybe I can well?

877
00:39:58,120 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 1: Is ram is the liquor in it? Okay? So I

878
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 1: I would have gotten that wrong, I now know. Okay.

879
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,360
Speaker 2: So it starts with sugar and limes muddled at the

880
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:07,440
Speaker 2: bottom of the glass, okay, And then you add rum,

881
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 2: and then you add soda water, and then you add oh.

882
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 3: Mint, I forgot mint. There's may was gonna only offer mint.

883
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 3: That was the only thing I was pretty confident about.

884
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 1: Am I right? Line? Yeah?

885
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 4: Correct?

886
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 1: But then I thought maybe that was a mint julip,

887
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 1: and I panicked.

888
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 2: It's similar, but that is bourbon. Min jullip is kind

889
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 2: of like a moheito with bourbon.

890
00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 1: Okay.

891
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:27,560
Speaker 4: Josh was like, I don't really drink cocktails. And then

892
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 4: You're like, I know exactly how to make a mohito.

893
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 1: Well you we happened to pick one that I do

894
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 1: like and also gave us the ounces for equal parts.

895
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 4: How about a French seventy.

896
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 1: Five oh, champagne right.

897
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:41,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

898
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:43,879
Speaker 1: Vodka no gin?

899
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 3: Yes, okay, okay, champagne gin and then probably a third

900
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 3: sweetener of such to see the red stuff.

901
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:57,759
Speaker 4: No, but Rory was closer. A sweetener, a simple syrup.

902
00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,080
Speaker 1: Some kind of a sweeple syrup. Okay.

903
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,280
Speaker 4: And then where we say one their key ingredient.

904
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:02,280
Speaker 1: A good time?

905
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:04,359
Speaker 5: Yeah?

906
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:09,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, what DJ who has an ear for what we

907
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:13,880
Speaker 1: want to dance to? Is it red? No? You're really leaning?

908
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:21,880
Speaker 1: Were you fully committed to red for this drink? Lemon juice? Yeah?

909
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:23,600
Speaker 1: I think we get most of the sour, We get

910
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:24,399
Speaker 1: most of the point there.

911
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, how about a Long Island iced tea. I'll give

912
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 4: you a hint. There's no iced tea in this.

913
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:31,520
Speaker 2: That is the drink that has like a lot of

914
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 2: blickors in it.

915
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's dangerous.

916
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:41,359
Speaker 3: It's like I think it has like vodka, gin and rum.

917
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you're missing two other liquors.

918
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, God, that's disgusting.

919
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 4: Triple a splash of something else trae juice, pineapple.

920
00:41:54,640 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 1: Juice, soda. It is cola cola. That's disgusting.

921
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 4: It's so good though, they're so good.

922
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:05,560
Speaker 3: I do the taste of it is like you're like,

923
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,799
Speaker 3: all right, and that's why you get so fucked up,

924
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 3: because you're like, it's fine. And then the soda opens

925
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 3: up your stomach even more and now it's like getting

926
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,360
Speaker 3: into your blood even faster.

927
00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 1: It's that drink gets you crunk. Yes, very good, Josh.

928
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 3: I was afraid that you wouldn't apply language from the

929
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:23,360
Speaker 3: nineties for the.

930
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:26,880
Speaker 4: Children that doesn't indeed get you crunk.

931
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:27,720
Speaker 1: I know our demo.

932
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 4: I've got one more, but I'm going to add another

933
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 4: one because it's timely. But this last one is a

934
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 4: monkey gland.

935
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:36,319
Speaker 1: I have no idea.

936
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 4: It's got an interesting history. Doesn't even want to guess.

937
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:40,719
Speaker 1: I have no idea.

938
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 4: It's a prohibition aeric cocktail, named after a pseudoscience idea

939
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 4: that if you graft a monkey testicle into humans, you'll

940
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 4: live longer. And the guy that invented it, this is

941
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:53,960
Speaker 4: the only thing he pretty much ever did, and he

942
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 4: was known as the monkey gland Man.

943
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 1: Was that Professor Widmark? Yeah?

944
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:02,319
Speaker 4: No, Russian doctor Serge Voronoff.

945
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 1: Wow, his parents must have been so proud.

946
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll give you a hint.

947
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:08,800
Speaker 1: It's orange orange juice.

948
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,440
Speaker 4: Yep, that's one rum.

949
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:19,479
Speaker 1: No whiskey screwdriver. It's not a screwdriver. We called something else.

950
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 1: What makes it? Where's the monkey part come from?

951
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 4: It's not really monkey. It's like the rejuvenation aspect. It's like, oh,

952
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 4: it really gives you a kick.

953
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 1: I think we don't know. I don't know.

954
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:34,320
Speaker 4: Jin orange juice, grenadine and a dash of absence.

955
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,720
Speaker 1: That actually sounds pleasant, does okay?

956
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:39,440
Speaker 4: Last one, what is a borg m.

957
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 2: Is it named for Beornborg, the Swedish tennis player who

958
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,000
Speaker 2: may have been friends with Professor Widmark.

959
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:48,400
Speaker 4: No, but it was happening in Chicago, Rory, when you

960
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:51,960
Speaker 4: were here. Oh, I learned what this was this weekend

961
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 4: because my zoomer friends were talking about it. It is

962
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:59,640
Speaker 4: a blackout rage gallon, which is a diy alcoholic mixture

963
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:02,840
Speaker 4: among college students where you get a jug of water

964
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,080
Speaker 4: and you decide how much you want to drink, so

965
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 4: you pour out that much of the gallon, and then

966
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:12,320
Speaker 4: you add your vodka or your you know whatever liquor,

967
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,520
Speaker 4: and then you put in your flavoring, so like a

968
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 4: meo or a I don't know, some sort of powdered

969
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:20,839
Speaker 4: and then you just have your gallon for the whole

970
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:24,720
Speaker 4: day and TikTok. Doctors are saying it's actually harm reductive.

971
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:27,759
Speaker 2: Because it has water, because it's part water. Yeah, and

972
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 2: like hydrates wallet dehydrates.

973
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:29,919
Speaker 4: Yeah.

974
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:34,400
Speaker 1: Wow, wow, I believe doctor Widmark came up with this. Yeah,

975
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:35,719
Speaker 1: it seems insane.

976
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 3: I couldn't imagine being a doctor going this is actually

977
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:40,720
Speaker 3: pretty healthy.

978
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 1: This is better. But yeah, wow, that's a board.

979
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 4: That's what the kids are doing. So if your children

980
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:47,800
Speaker 4: come back and say, can I have a gallon of water?

981
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 1: Nope, don't let them. They don't get it.

982
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:50,800
Speaker 4: They get cups.

983
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:53,320
Speaker 1: So I don't know if my kids that into tennis.

984
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:56,760
Speaker 2: So my official drink of crime list the Blackoutrage gallon.

985
00:44:57,400 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 2: That's what that guy in the minivan was on.

986
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:02,719
Speaker 1: Probably, yeah, I thought I was hydrating.

987
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:08,520
Speaker 2: Sorry guys, you guys had fun, Right, he's the he's

988
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 2: the mascot.

989
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:10,839
Speaker 1: All right, we'll see you next week.

990
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 3: Bite Crimeless is a production of SmartLess Media, Campside Media,

991
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 3: and Big Money Players in partnership with iHeart Podcasts.

992
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:24,400
Speaker 2: It's hosted by Rory Scovel and me Josh Dean. Our

993
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 2: senior producer is Lane Rose. Emma Simonov is our associate producer.

994
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:32,840
Speaker 2: This episode was edited sound designed and engineered by Marina Payez.

995
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 2: Our studio engineer is ewen Lei Tremwen. Mark McCadam composed

996
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:40,920
Speaker 2: our theme song. The executive producers at Campside Media are

997
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:45,520
Speaker 2: Vanessa Goriatis, Matt Cher and me Josh Dean. The executive

998
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 2: producers for iHeart Podcasts and Big Money Players are Jack O'Brien,

999
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:51,600
Speaker 2: Lindsay Hoffman and Matt Appadaka.

1000
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:53,839
Speaker 1: For SmartLess Media, the.

1001
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 2: Executive producers are Will Arnette, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and

1002
00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 2: Richard Corson. Bernie Kaminski has had production. The associate producer

1003
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 2: is Mattie McCann. A special thanks to our operations team,

1004
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 2: Ashley Warren and Sabina Marra. If you have a question, comment,

1005
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 2: or confession for the Crimeless team, email us at crime

1006
00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:16,280
Speaker 2: Less at campsidmedia dot com. And if you enjoyed Crimeless,

1007
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:18,279
Speaker 2: please rate and review the show or wherever you get

1008
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 2: your podcasts. It helps people find the show and also

1009
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 2: makes us feel validated, unless you're mean, in which case.

1010
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:26,359
Speaker 1: Keep it to yourself. We'll see you next week. Crime

1011
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:26,839
Speaker 1: List Nation