1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,040 Speaker 1: This is Cowboy Sam and this is Eh John. 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:04,600 Speaker 2: And we've last owed. 3 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:08,559 Speaker 1: In some amazing stories for y'all the Okay Storytime podcasts. 4 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:11,040 Speaker 3: But before that we got a wrangle, a quick little 5 00:00:11,039 --> 00:00:13,760 Speaker 3: two minute out break from those bucking sponsors. 6 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,079 Speaker 1: We bucking love so much they paid us the bucks 7 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:20,119 Speaker 1: to help this show stay alive. I congratulated my uncle's 8 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:25,239 Speaker 1: ex wife on her remarriage. Now my family's furious. I mean, 9 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:29,040 Speaker 1: what just about you just congratulating. 10 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 4: First things first, sorry for the spelling mistakes. English is 11 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 4: not my first language. And this is gonna be a 12 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:37,479 Speaker 4: little long because it's a little messy. We like MESSI So, 13 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 4: my uncle Adam thirty eight and his ex wife, Bianca 14 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 4: thirty six got married twelve years ago. I'm twenty three now, 15 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 4: so I don't remember much because I was really young 16 00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:49,040 Speaker 4: back then. But what I remember is it was a 17 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:52,240 Speaker 4: complete shock for us. We live eight hours away from them, 18 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 4: so we weren't really in on events. When I was young, 19 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 4: we used to visit my grandma for like ten days 20 00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,760 Speaker 4: and a year, and as far as I know, Adam 21 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,480 Speaker 4: want a complete playboy. 22 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,040 Speaker 1: Oh wow. 23 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:07,800 Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Say Say Wait on 24 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 4: the Okay story times I've printed Adam always had girls 25 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 4: in his life. 26 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,480 Speaker 1: I remember meeting countless girlfriends of his. I even remember 27 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 1: one that was really rich and wanted to marry him 28 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,000 Speaker 1: and support him for all of his life. And another 29 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 1: one that is super sweet, but a single mom. Adam 30 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 1: broke up with her just because her kid called him 31 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 1: dad one time. Dang, I mean, low key. I mean 32 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:30,959 Speaker 1: that's a pretty big responsibility. If I'm not ready to 33 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 1: be in that relationship like that and the kid starts 34 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,400 Speaker 1: calling me dad and be like it's over, I'm so hard. 35 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:37,039 Speaker 1: But I feel like. 36 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 4: You have to take a minute before you get into 37 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:42,000 Speaker 4: relationship with a single mom and be like, am I true? 38 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:45,440 Speaker 4: Or maybe just like be really mean to the kid. Okay, no, 39 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 4: don't do that, goud. It was a joke, so he 40 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 4: would fool around a lout. One day, Grandma called us 41 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 4: and let us know that he was getting married. We 42 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,320 Speaker 4: were shocked, as far as I learned later on, Adam 43 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 4: and Bianca met in their workplace. Bianca was an accountant 44 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,440 Speaker 4: and was a driver. She was actually engaged when they 45 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 4: first met, but when Adam heard this, he just said, 46 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 4: no problem, I can break them up. 47 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 1: Day Adam with the frick and he really managed to 48 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:14,520 Speaker 1: do so. Adam how hot is Adam. 49 00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:17,880 Speaker 4: Gotta be really hot. But when Beyonca's family heard about this, 50 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 4: they were furious, and my grandpa was also furious, so 51 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:22,640 Speaker 4: they demanded. 52 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 1: They get married. 53 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,679 Speaker 4: My uncle resisted a little bit, but finally said yes, 54 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 4: even though it was never his intention to marry her. 55 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:32,400 Speaker 4: When we first met Bianca, I loved her. She was funny, beautiful, 56 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 4: and she loved me. You should marry her. This was 57 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,800 Speaker 4: pretty much enough for me because my father's side didn't 58 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 4: used to love me very much. That's sad do to 59 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 4: me being the second child and a girl. My grandma 60 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,359 Speaker 4: loves boys and she thinks second children are unnecessary day 61 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:49,800 Speaker 4: day grandma, so I felt like I had found my 62 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 4: ally in that side of the family. Finally, when they 63 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,680 Speaker 4: were getting married, they moved to the apartment just under 64 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 4: my grandparents. It was also theirs, and they didn't want 65 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 4: to pay rent and thought this was a good decision. 66 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 1: Big mistake. 67 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,840 Speaker 4: My grandma was horrific to Bianca because she thought she didn't. 68 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 1: Deserve her precious little boy. 69 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,400 Speaker 4: And he could have done so much better than her. 70 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:14,000 Speaker 4: The wedding was chaotic. Nobody helped them get settled, because 71 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 4: my grandma told everyone they did not want to get disturbed. 72 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 4: She had an opinion about everything in the wedding, et cetera, etcetera. 73 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:26,160 Speaker 1: Oh God, shut up, grandma, go goodside, take a time out, 74 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:29,080 Speaker 1: touch the grass, grandma. 75 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,519 Speaker 4: Three months after the wedding, we learned Bianca is pregnant. 76 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 4: It was a little early for it, but anyways, ten 77 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 4: months later, my first cousin was born, a beautiful baby girl. 78 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 4: After this, my grandma was even more horrific because. 79 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 1: She hates girls. No, why does grandma hate girls? 80 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 4: Bianca later told me that she would never take care 81 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 4: of her, even when she does need to handle an 82 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 4: errand or something. She would always watch them from the 83 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 4: balcony because they live right below her, tracking everywhere they 84 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,520 Speaker 4: go and every visitor. 85 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:02,640 Speaker 1: They as lord of these children, as the matriarch of 86 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 1: the family, and I refuse to lift a finger. I 87 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:11,840 Speaker 1: watched them fall in ice Nika to myself, dynasty's fall 88 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:17,480 Speaker 1: at my hats. And then she thinks she's like Caesar. 89 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,800 Speaker 1: She's up there just like with the thumb going. No, 90 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,160 Speaker 1: I let you run into. 91 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 4: Traffic, try to eavesdrop from the floor, and more and more. 92 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 4: She even caught her trying to cast a religious spell 93 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,480 Speaker 4: on them for them to break up. 94 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:36,919 Speaker 1: Religious spells don't exist. That's called uh oh, it's a 95 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 1: witch's curse. 96 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,480 Speaker 4: But whatever she tried to confront at him, he always 97 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,480 Speaker 4: took his mama's side. This started to really get the 98 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,719 Speaker 4: relationship on the edge. They started to fight a lot, 99 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,280 Speaker 4: and Grandma started to call us and tell us about 100 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 4: it all the time. Another thing about Grandma, she always 101 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 4: thinks she's an angel sent from above. So she said 102 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,440 Speaker 4: she never understands why they fight, and Bianca's just trying 103 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 4: to pick fights. 104 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:01,719 Speaker 1: Excuse me, ma'am, you cast did a spell to break 105 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: them ball, that's you, spellcaster. 106 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 4: Years have passed like this and we were actually expecting 107 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 4: when they will divorce. But they have made the dumbest 108 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 4: decision I ever heard in my life. They did the 109 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 4: second child to save their marriage. A classic second child 110 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:20,160 Speaker 4: to save your marriage. 111 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 1: Move classic. I We'll have another pass and will make 112 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 1: them fix it. It only made things worse. 113 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:30,159 Speaker 4: My second cousin, Miranda, is also a girl, and just 114 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,160 Speaker 4: after having Miranda in forty days, Beyonca's mother and father 115 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 4: passed away just. 116 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 1: Two weeks apart. That is so hard so she. 117 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:41,000 Speaker 4: Was postpartum and lost both of her parents in a heartbeat. 118 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 4: This made everything worse and their fights became even worse. 119 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:48,440 Speaker 4: When Miranda was three, they noticed she's on the autism spectrum. 120 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 4: This made everything harder, and Bianca told Adam if they 121 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,919 Speaker 4: don't move out, they're getting a divorce because all this 122 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 4: time they're still living under the grandma, right, who hates girls. 123 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 1: And also it sounds like grandma did cast the spell 124 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,720 Speaker 1: and the spell worked. Hello, yeah, you lost both of 125 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:09,720 Speaker 1: your parents. Your grandma just cast it, an unliven spell 126 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,720 Speaker 1: on your parents. Beyonca that you should get out of there. 127 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 1: Well you can't, uh, and that again witch, that's a witch, 128 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:21,839 Speaker 1: an evil witch. So they did move out for six months. 129 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,479 Speaker 1: Then they couldn't handle the rent, so they came back. 130 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,559 Speaker 1: Later we learned that they actually got divorced on these days, 131 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,080 Speaker 1: but continued to live together, and this actually made the 132 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,760 Speaker 1: relationship a little better. On to the last It was 133 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 1: like a little bit better, just a little splash of divorce, 134 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 1: you can actually make the relationship flourished. 135 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:42,280 Speaker 4: They got I didn't really understand that line. They got divorced, 136 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 4: and they were like, actually kind of help them. 137 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 1: Maybe they mean that they separated. Yeah, because horse is 138 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:50,160 Speaker 1: a lot more final than that. 139 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 4: Later we learned that they actually got divorced on these days, 140 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,159 Speaker 4: but continued to live together. 141 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 1: I don't know. 142 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:58,040 Speaker 4: On to the last year, Bianca and Adam had a 143 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:02,159 Speaker 4: huge fight, played for shack. Children were afraid that kind 144 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,719 Speaker 4: of fight. Bianca left home and rented herself a place. 145 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,040 Speaker 4: She took Miranda with her, and my other cousin was 146 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 4: with Adam. But after eight months she returned. 147 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: What happened with the other girl, and she took Miranda. 148 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,520 Speaker 1: She took Miranda, but not her other kid. 149 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 4: Oh no, no, sorry, my other cousin, meaning her other daughter. 150 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 1: Oh yes, was with Adam. So they split the kids up. Yes, 151 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 1: And I don't know about that. 152 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,600 Speaker 4: On this August I went to my grandma's place alone. 153 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 4: It was my dad's idea, but because I really couldn't 154 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 4: get along with my grandma, I spent most of my 155 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 4: time at Adam and Bianca's place. Let me tell you 156 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:38,640 Speaker 4: it was horrible. You don't say, I can't imagine it 157 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 4: probably would be. They fought all the time. Bianca later 158 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 4: told me that Adam never helped her during this eight 159 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 4: months because moving out was her choice. With Miranda being 160 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 4: in the spectrum and having special needs, she couldn't afford 161 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 4: both Rent and her with her minimum wage job, so 162 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,680 Speaker 4: she had to come back on the condition that they 163 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 4: cannot be anything more than friends anymore, but Adam constantly 164 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:01,000 Speaker 4: tried to get back together. Bianca also showed me some 165 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 4: videos a friend of her scent of Adam dancing intimately 166 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 4: with a group of women from her workplace. She said 167 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,440 Speaker 4: he cheated on her constantly and she doesn't want to 168 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:09,960 Speaker 4: go back. 169 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 1: Don't go back. Yeah, but don't do that. Don't do it. 170 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 4: Also, for the time I was there, Adam was horrific. 171 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 4: One day, we went out to get a couple of 172 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,880 Speaker 4: beers in a local pub and he was making remarks 173 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 4: like I can get whoever I want, but I just 174 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 4: don't want to, or point out to a couple and 175 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 4: say that guy's too good for her, she's probably keeping 176 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 4: him with spicy sleep. Or I could get any girl, 177 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:32,680 Speaker 4: but there's no good women left over the age of 178 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,080 Speaker 4: twenty five and is just too young for me. 179 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 1: Blah blah blah. Yeah, this guy sounds so cool. 180 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 4: He's like, I could get literally any woman I want, 181 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,079 Speaker 4: but I don't want any of them. 182 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. Honestly, every girl on the earth under the age 183 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,840 Speaker 1: of twenty five has been ruined. But all the girls 184 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,160 Speaker 1: over the age of twenty five are too old for me, 185 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 1: so so I can't do it for you. I'll tell 186 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 1: you that. I also made a joke the other day. 187 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,960 Speaker 1: Everyone stood up and clapped. Everyone in the whole room clap, 188 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 1: and then they may be the king. They may meet 189 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 1: king of the room. And I turned it down. 190 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:05,920 Speaker 4: I said, I don't want to be king because I'm 191 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,680 Speaker 4: too humble to be the king. Apparently he was wasted. 192 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 4: They had a fight. He prepared her luggage and kicked 193 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 4: her out with Miranda at three m kicked his own 194 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:16,200 Speaker 4: daughter out. 195 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:17,079 Speaker 1: What a monster. 196 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 4: Bianca has no family in the city, so she went 197 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 4: and stayed at a friend's house for the night. 198 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 1: By the way, you can always stay with. 199 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 4: Us every weekday on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok. Just top 200 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:32,080 Speaker 4: her profile and join us live. Do that and there 201 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,199 Speaker 4: is a little bit left. But what are your thoughts 202 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:41,199 Speaker 4: this sch This guy is clearly not good. No, he's 203 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:43,960 Speaker 4: a horrible person, and he's actively been a horrible person 204 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 4: all of a peace life. 205 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 1: So I think that the move is like you gotta 206 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,520 Speaker 1: you gotta leave. This guy gotta leave and you gotta 207 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,800 Speaker 1: stay gone, which I think has already been done. But 208 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,800 Speaker 1: now it's more like a trying to like make it 209 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:01,160 Speaker 1: work in like a friend's only type. But like I think, 210 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 1: you just gotta get this guy out of your life 211 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 1: and have him like legally support you. 212 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,680 Speaker 4: In another way, I get the child's support if you 213 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,560 Speaker 4: can have presence. 214 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 1: Because he's just a nightmare. But there's a little bit left. 215 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:17,880 Speaker 4: One week has passed and my mom told me that 216 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:19,840 Speaker 4: Bianca is getting married tomorrow. 217 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,440 Speaker 1: No, one week since he kicked her out. 218 00:10:23,679 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 4: I mean they were already divorced, but one week since 219 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 4: she got kicked out of her home. 220 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 1: Oh who was she married? 221 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 4: I was shocked, but learned after Adam kicked her out, 222 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 4: she returned to her hometown. A guy there wanted to 223 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 4: marry her even before she met Adam and was also 224 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:38,800 Speaker 4: divorced and still wanted. 225 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 1: To marry her. 226 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:42,679 Speaker 4: Oh WHOA She declined before, but after the latest events, 227 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:44,760 Speaker 4: she told him fine, and they got married. 228 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 1: Bianca, girl, that's a rebound marriage. Bianca, you don't do that. 229 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:55,080 Speaker 1: A rebound marriage. That's not that is not healthy. This 230 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 1: all happened a month ago and Bianca posted the photos 231 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:01,600 Speaker 1: of the wedding on Insta. I DMed her and congratulated her. God, 232 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 1: I mean, I just I think the most telling thing 233 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 1: is the way that she wrote that. She was like, 234 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 1: he was like, I still want to marry you, and 235 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:12,320 Speaker 1: she was like, I guess, I mean, I'm fine. 236 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:17,439 Speaker 4: You're here, You're the only one here. She was always 237 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 4: on my side, did very good things for me. So 238 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,040 Speaker 4: I wished her a beautiful new start and told her 239 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,560 Speaker 4: that I'm here if she needs me. Now, all my 240 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:28,960 Speaker 4: family is furious with me. What apparently Adam is furious 241 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,840 Speaker 4: with Bianca for getting married this quick. 242 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:32,760 Speaker 1: I mean I would be kind of shocked. Yeah, I 243 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,520 Speaker 1: mean you can be shocked, but hello, you don't get 244 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:38,679 Speaker 1: to decide that anymore. Well, go dance with another group 245 00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:39,600 Speaker 1: of ladies. 246 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:42,679 Speaker 4: Literally, and all of the family thinks everything is Bianca's fault, 247 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,120 Speaker 4: and I'm betraying my uncle by congratulating her. 248 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,520 Speaker 1: So am I the a whole Sorry. 249 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,600 Speaker 4: I wasn't expecting it to be this long, even though 250 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 4: I summarized it many times. 251 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,200 Speaker 1: And that's the end of that story. Why is your 252 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,960 Speaker 1: faan like this is already so messed up? 253 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, like your uncle's behavior is just terrible, and your 254 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,360 Speaker 4: family's seems to all be signing with him. 255 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:04,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, which I don't understand why. I don't care. I 256 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,680 Speaker 1: don't think there's even any need to like choose sides 257 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 1: in this situation. It's just like, it is what it is. 258 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:13,199 Speaker 1: You reached out to somebody just to say congratulations. 259 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,720 Speaker 4: You know though, so this is like on Instagram, this 260 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:19,040 Speaker 4: is not you know, they'd meet up for coffee. Opie 261 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 4: wasn't like I hate my uncle and I support you phrase. 262 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,959 Speaker 4: It was just like dingratulations. 263 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy. Why is your family so toxic? Your 264 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 1: family's crazy. 265 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:31,440 Speaker 4: But that's the end of that story, so we'll see 266 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 4: you next time. 267 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 1: On the next one. I needed space to recover after 268 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 1: giving birth, but my family said I made them feel 269 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 1: not welcome. 270 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:44,840 Speaker 4: Well, it's your birth, so they need to ghet over. 271 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 1: Sorry, I just pushed the baby out of myself. Give 272 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,920 Speaker 1: me a break. I twenty four female, and my partner, 273 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,880 Speaker 1: twenty four male, moved to another state after college, eight 274 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,080 Speaker 1: hours away from my family. We are blessed enough to 275 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,480 Speaker 1: both have great jobs that allowed us to purchase a 276 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:03,120 Speaker 1: home and start a family. Blessings on blessings uh In 277 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:07,480 Speaker 1: less In February, we found out we were having a baby. 278 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user material exciting forty 279 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,679 Speaker 1: four to sixty on the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. 280 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 1: So his family and my family were both so supportive 281 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 1: throughout the pregnancy, throwing us two baby showers and spending 282 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 1: time helping us get everything ready. We literally didn't have 283 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:26,640 Speaker 1: to buy a single item in preparation for our baby's arrival, 284 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:29,600 Speaker 1: so we are extremely blessed. That's great. Yeah, you could 285 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:33,440 Speaker 1: say that again, that's great. Didn't even have to buy diapers. Yeah, 286 00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:36,520 Speaker 1: you just start like pitching. You're like, hey, guys, just whoever, 287 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,720 Speaker 1: you know if we need some help, and everyone shows 288 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,480 Speaker 1: up and gives you everything. Once it was time for 289 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:44,040 Speaker 1: her to arrive this month, my family really wanted to 290 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 1: be here. My partner only got two weeks off of work, 291 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,360 Speaker 1: so we really wanted to spend the time alone to 292 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,560 Speaker 1: bond with the baby and figure out how to be 293 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,920 Speaker 1: parents for the first time. But we didn't want to 294 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:58,000 Speaker 1: take away the experience of our families having their first grandchild. Therefore, 295 00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,440 Speaker 1: we agreed to let my mom, his mom, and my 296 00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:02,880 Speaker 1: aunt stay for a week. My mom and his mom 297 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 1: slept in our house while my aunt stayed at my 298 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:09,280 Speaker 1: partner's dad's house. My birth was not what I expected. 299 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 1: Ain't that the truth? It ever winds up how you expected. 300 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,920 Speaker 1: It never quite does does. It never lives up to 301 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:20,840 Speaker 1: the expectations. I was in labor from nine am Tuesday 302 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:26,280 Speaker 1: to ten pm on Wednesday? Is it a quick thirty 303 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 1: six hour laborers? No big deal? Oh? Sorry, thirty seven hours. Well, 304 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,560 Speaker 1: and that'll teach you guys to eat those apples. You 305 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:40,760 Speaker 1: shouldn't eating that apple. You shouldn't. 306 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,560 Speaker 5: All you had to do was not eat the apple, 307 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:45,560 Speaker 5: and apparently God would have let you have That is 308 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 5: the story. Just the butt eating the apple? Was the 309 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 5: eve have a painful. 310 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 1: Is a painful birth? Labor? Is he? Yep? Make an 311 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,880 Speaker 1: apple away keeps the doctor away. Yeah, an apple a 312 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 1: day gives you massive amounts of pain. Yeah, apparently life 313 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:07,360 Speaker 1: one apple thousands years ago gives every woman on the 314 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 1: planet labor. Oh man, yeah, don't believe. I don't believe that. 315 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:15,200 Speaker 1: By the way, Yeah, he just to be clear, to 316 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 1: be clear. That's that's Can you imagine if he was 317 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:25,400 Speaker 1: that petty? Yeah? Or she let's have that discussion. God 318 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,760 Speaker 1: is a woman, then she was the one who did 319 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:34,520 Speaker 1: that to y'all, like, messye, messy. My epidural failed and 320 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,480 Speaker 1: I felt everything. This is terrifying. Okay, expects me not 321 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,800 Speaker 1: want to be pregnant. Yeah, I pushed for three hours 322 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:45,440 Speaker 1: and I got second degree tears from my eight pound, 323 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 1: twelve ounce baby. Big babies not even that big. Yeah, 324 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,800 Speaker 1: pump those numbers up. That's a small baby. I was 325 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 1: absolutely exhausted from screaming in pain for hours on end 326 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 1: and being stitched up with no pain meds. I couldn't 327 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,440 Speaker 1: even do skin to skin right away because of how 328 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 1: exhausted I was, so my partner did it for me. 329 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:06,120 Speaker 1: I'm terrifying. Wow, yeah, that's I'm so sorry. I'm probably 330 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:10,600 Speaker 1: the most brutal pregnancy like labor I've heard on this 331 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,320 Speaker 1: store on the show for the commend you so much, 332 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,000 Speaker 1: because to go through all of that is what a 333 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,520 Speaker 1: what a yeah? Just what a thirty seven hours of 334 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:24,280 Speaker 1: labor through a failed epidural makes you think. Once I 335 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,320 Speaker 1: was more coherent, my partner asked if I wanted visitors. 336 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,240 Speaker 1: I was not ready, so I asked him to let 337 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 1: everyone in the waiting room know that the baby was healthy. 338 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 1: But I wasn't ready for visitors until the next day. Valid. Yeah, hello, 339 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,600 Speaker 1: thirty seven hours of labor. The next day, we had 340 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,480 Speaker 1: visitors from morning until night. I was in so much 341 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:46,640 Speaker 1: pain and exhausted, but still wanted everybody to be able 342 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:50,000 Speaker 1: to meet the baby. I was discharged two days later 343 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,440 Speaker 1: and came home to a clean house full of groceries 344 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,640 Speaker 1: and meals. The next few days, my family stayed with 345 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,960 Speaker 1: us and helped clean and cook. They held the baby, 346 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,360 Speaker 1: and I tried to make sure everyone got equal time 347 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,320 Speaker 1: holding her. Although I was stressed about having people stay 348 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,879 Speaker 1: with us, I ended up appreciating having them there to 349 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:08,359 Speaker 1: help with chores so we could focus on our baby. Yeah, 350 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,719 Speaker 1: that's nice. Yes, that's what I should. I think if 351 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:13,400 Speaker 1: you're gonna come over after a baby's born, you can't. 352 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,880 Speaker 1: It can't be for like, oh, I'm wanting to see 353 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 1: the baby, you know it. It's like I'm here to help. Yeah, 354 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:20,280 Speaker 1: I'm here to help, and then while I'm not helping, 355 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 1: I can see the baby. Yes, exactly, you're here to 356 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,680 Speaker 1: do stuff. You're going to work. I had thirty seven 357 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,880 Speaker 1: hours of labor. You can labor over a peanut butter 358 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,680 Speaker 1: and jelly sand which, for God's sake, they'll catch at 359 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,440 Speaker 1: My mom asked if she could come back in less 360 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,120 Speaker 1: than a month, and I told her that it would 361 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,280 Speaker 1: be too much. We were planning on going to visit 362 00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:41,720 Speaker 1: them in December anyway, for a weekend. Fast forward a 363 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,520 Speaker 1: week they've traveled back, and I get a call from 364 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,680 Speaker 1: my mom. She's sobbing, saying I made her feel unwelcomed 365 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,840 Speaker 1: and that she feels like I don't want to have 366 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,680 Speaker 1: a relationship with her. My relationship with my family has 367 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,040 Speaker 1: been rocky in the past, and we've all been through 368 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,159 Speaker 1: a lot, so that had some part in why she 369 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,400 Speaker 1: felt that way. She said, my sister and my aunt 370 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,439 Speaker 1: told her thing that made her think that way, and 371 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:05,080 Speaker 1: I was a mess. I thought everything went great when 372 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:09,080 Speaker 1: they were here, and I'm one week postpartum feeling extremely 373 00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:11,399 Speaker 1: guilty for making my mom feel that way. She said, 374 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,600 Speaker 1: me not wanting her to come in November and only 375 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,960 Speaker 1: wanting to stay a weekend in December made her think 376 00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 1: I didn't want to be around them. I mean, honestly, 377 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,600 Speaker 1: I think there's just misumunigation. This is on here. 378 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:24,120 Speaker 4: She feels I think secure and other people are whispering 379 00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:26,040 Speaker 4: in her ear and they're like, oh, your daughter doesn't 380 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,719 Speaker 4: want you here, and she's like feeling that, and then 381 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:31,480 Speaker 4: her daughter like, Ope, didn't want to come, and you know. 382 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:35,120 Speaker 1: You just try shortened things one sentence. Yeah, thirty seven 383 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,800 Speaker 1: hours of labor. Yeah, hello. 384 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,760 Speaker 4: I literally think that Opie could just be yeah, say hey, 385 00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:42,560 Speaker 4: went through really hard labor. It's not that I don't 386 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:44,200 Speaker 4: want to see you. I just need a second to 387 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:47,000 Speaker 4: you know, I need some time to need practically. 388 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,760 Speaker 1: Baby, I need approximately a month. 389 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,800 Speaker 4: In an approximately a month. This has nothing to deal 390 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,960 Speaker 4: with you, but I think I think totally could just 391 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:54,520 Speaker 4: be miscommunication here. 392 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,639 Speaker 1: I got off the phone and texted my sister and 393 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,480 Speaker 1: aunt to stop telling my mom negative things that puts 394 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,159 Speaker 1: me in an comfortable situation. This is when I found 395 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 1: out that everyone thinks they have to walk on eggshells 396 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,119 Speaker 1: around me, and that I took away from their experience 397 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:09,040 Speaker 1: with our baby. 398 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:12,560 Speaker 4: You took away from their experience with your baby boy. 399 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,600 Speaker 1: It's my baby girl. 400 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,720 Speaker 4: They're like, your thirty seven hour labor really put a 401 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:20,719 Speaker 4: dapper on things. 402 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll give you thirty seven hours to get over 403 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:27,920 Speaker 1: it and then let us spend with your baby. Give 404 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,280 Speaker 1: me your bamy. My aunt said that she waited in 405 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,800 Speaker 1: the hospital for two days, and when she found out 406 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,879 Speaker 1: I didn't want visitors the night I gave birth, she 407 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,159 Speaker 1: was going to go hang out with my partner's family 408 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,760 Speaker 1: and drink wine because she wasn't going to waste her 409 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,080 Speaker 1: paid time off. Will you go, Auntie? Yeah, they all 410 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:45,280 Speaker 1: making about themselves. Yeah, this is like I waited in 411 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,600 Speaker 1: the I waited in a room with air conditioning, and 412 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:52,000 Speaker 1: I was just sitting there for like, minding my own business, 413 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:59,760 Speaker 1: my kindle literally earth shatteringly painful labor for thirty seven hours, 414 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 1: but it's my day, as I wanted to see the baby. Yeah, 415 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:08,159 Speaker 1: I felt pretty inconvenienced by that. She also said she 416 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,359 Speaker 1: felt unwelcomed when they were here, and she only stayed 417 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,639 Speaker 1: to support my mom. Shut up, dude. I was so 418 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,480 Speaker 1: confused because I thought the week went great. This also 419 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,560 Speaker 1: made me extremely mad because I felt like everyone was 420 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,280 Speaker 1: making me out to be the bad guy after going 421 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:27,560 Speaker 1: through a traumatic birth. So I replied, quote, I'm sorry 422 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,919 Speaker 1: if me being in labor for two days and pushing 423 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,560 Speaker 1: for three hours with no pain meds ruined your pto 424 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:37,560 Speaker 1: nice nice rubing their faces, slam dung or something along 425 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,399 Speaker 1: those lines. Anyway, she didn't respond and hasn't spoken to 426 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,800 Speaker 1: me since. My sister said they feel like I don't 427 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,320 Speaker 1: put enough effort in to have a relationship with them 428 00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:47,760 Speaker 1: because I only want to come for a weekend and 429 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 1: haven't spent a lot of time with them since moving States. 430 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,720 Speaker 1: So am I the a hole for being unwelcoming after 431 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:58,920 Speaker 1: giving birth? No? No, obviously, you know what. We'll always 432 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 1: welcome you guys to join us when we go live 433 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:08,200 Speaker 1: on Facebook, YouTube and TikTok and twitch. Just top a 434 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,879 Speaker 1: profile every weekday three pmpst. Just have our profile and 435 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:17,560 Speaker 1: we're probably live right now. You can check anyway. Yeah, yeah, 436 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:22,399 Speaker 1: you're definitely not a Hello. Your family's making it all 437 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:26,919 Speaker 1: about themselves. Whatever happened in the past with your family 438 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:34,680 Speaker 1: situation clearly is influencing their sort of perspective on you, 439 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:39,040 Speaker 1: because from everything we read, it sounded like you went 440 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 1: through uh yeah, a traumatic birth experience and still gritted 441 00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:46,600 Speaker 1: your teeth and was like, I will let these people 442 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,160 Speaker 1: spend a week with us. 443 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:50,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, And then they're like, oh, well, we want more, 444 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,480 Speaker 4: we want this birth to be fun for us, and 445 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,639 Speaker 4: you're like, guys, I'm just trying to take a minute. 446 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,040 Speaker 1: Why is it that when people do this about weddings 447 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,080 Speaker 1: and babies. They try to make it about them. How 448 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,879 Speaker 1: about you instead of the person having the wedding and 449 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:06,400 Speaker 1: having the baby. Exactly get over yourself. 450 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,080 Speaker 4: No, literally, like if you came out, Let's say you 451 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:12,439 Speaker 4: came out, I don't know, you got time off of 452 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,920 Speaker 4: work or something to go see your family member having 453 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,879 Speaker 4: a baby, and then it turns out. 454 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,720 Speaker 1: That you can't be in the room or something. Yeah, 455 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,240 Speaker 1: you just gotta deal with that. Oh well, yeah, I'm 456 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,359 Speaker 1: gonna go. I guess I'm just gonna go hang out 457 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,440 Speaker 1: with these people because I'm not gonna waste my paid 458 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:29,840 Speaker 1: time off. It's like, you idiot, you're getting paid for 459 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:34,120 Speaker 1: time off. None of it's wasted. Stupid, so silly? What 460 00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:36,560 Speaker 1: so silly? I hope this story ends with the baby 461 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:40,399 Speaker 1: developing superpowers and laser beaming all of these annoying family members. 462 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:45,160 Speaker 1: So you try to make my mother feel bad? Oh 463 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,760 Speaker 1: I would just venge. Yeah. I was thinking more of 464 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,080 Speaker 1: like baby Jackjack from the Incredibles, where it's more just 465 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:52,520 Speaker 1: like he's just got a lot of baby powers. 466 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:55,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, oh no, I was thinking of really super It's 467 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,240 Speaker 4: like you want to spend time with the kid, baby, Sure, 468 00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,639 Speaker 4: spend time with the kid you're thinking of. 469 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:04,399 Speaker 1: Like Dewey Griffin being like hmm, okay, So here's the update. 470 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,960 Speaker 1: First off, I want to thank everyone so much for 471 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 1: your kind words and validation. I'm definitely a people pleaser, 472 00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:12,480 Speaker 1: so knowing that I wasn't in the wrong from a 473 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:16,080 Speaker 1: large majority makes me feel better. We're still going to Christmas. 474 00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,480 Speaker 1: They spent eight hundred dollars on our flights, but I'm 475 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,800 Speaker 1: going to go to a therapist to prepare to set 476 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,199 Speaker 1: firmer boundaries and let them know how hurt I was 477 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,280 Speaker 1: by them making everything about them. I'll update with how 478 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,080 Speaker 1: that conversation went, which may be a while. My heart 479 00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:30,840 Speaker 1: is with all of the moms on here who have 480 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:34,120 Speaker 1: gone through something similar. Mom guilt is so real, and 481 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 1: family dynamics are hard to navigate. So my love goes 482 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:41,959 Speaker 1: out to all of you. And that is the end 483 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,480 Speaker 1: of that story. Yeah. 484 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,560 Speaker 4: My final advice is I think that you can have 485 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,120 Speaker 4: a conversation with your mom and clear up some miscommunication 486 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:50,200 Speaker 4: and you'll be chill with her. 487 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:52,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, but you're aunt and your sister kind of suck. 488 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:56,359 Speaker 1: My daughter excluded me from a college tour, so I'm 489 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 1: thinking of excluding her from something too like her tuition 490 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:01,960 Speaker 1: or maybe the will Okay, I'll try to make a 491 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 1: long story short, but it may take a bit, so. 492 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,479 Speaker 2: Buckle up, just keep it long. It's fine. 493 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,480 Speaker 1: I thirty eight female, found out when I was nineteen 494 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,919 Speaker 1: that I was going to have a surprise blessing with 495 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,600 Speaker 1: my boyfriend. We decided to do the right thing and 496 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,639 Speaker 1: got married about four months before I gave birth to 497 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 1: a beautiful baby girl. Eighteen months later, I gave birth 498 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:23,080 Speaker 1: to another gorgeous baby girl, and my husband and I 499 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:27,840 Speaker 1: finally learned how to use contraceptives. Sarcasm ah. By the way, 500 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,520 Speaker 1: this comes from user dependent two fifty to fifty nine 501 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,679 Speaker 1: on the r slash. Okay, storytime, so I read it. 502 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:34,400 Speaker 2: What's that contraceptims? 503 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:35,400 Speaker 1: Contraceptoms? 504 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. Is it never heard that word before? 505 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:43,680 Speaker 1: Your little Willie jackets. Oh buddy, after this, I'm gonna 506 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,320 Speaker 1: have the I'm gonna talk to you about the birds 507 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 1: and the bees. When the girls were about five slash 508 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,760 Speaker 1: seven years old, their father and I separated and got 509 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,959 Speaker 1: a divorce. It was not a very pretty split. We 510 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,880 Speaker 1: are on better friendlier terms now. What made me feel 511 00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,000 Speaker 1: the worse about it is that I couldn't keep our 512 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,399 Speaker 1: family together for my daughters, and it made me feel 513 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 1: guilty ever since. I moved us back to my hometown 514 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,200 Speaker 1: and lived with my parents until I met my now 515 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:11,560 Speaker 1: husband and we purchased our own home nice. I moved 516 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,600 Speaker 1: back to my hometown because I have a lot of 517 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,840 Speaker 1: family there who have been a great support for me 518 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,160 Speaker 1: as a single mom, and I had a great childhood 519 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,919 Speaker 1: growing up there, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, my parents, and 520 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:25,680 Speaker 1: my sister, my only sibling, so the whole family squad 521 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,600 Speaker 1: is there in the hometown. My sister has never been married, 522 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,280 Speaker 1: she is the smart one and has no children of 523 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,359 Speaker 1: her own. Ever since the girls were born, she has 524 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,439 Speaker 1: been a great and loving aunt, and I have always 525 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:40,240 Speaker 1: encouraged her as a mom like figure in their lives, 526 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:44,800 Speaker 1: even getting her cards, gifts, and celebrating her on Mother's Day. 527 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:48,080 Speaker 1: As a single parent, moving back home and essentially starting 528 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:51,040 Speaker 1: everything in my life all over, I worked a lot. 529 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:53,359 Speaker 1: I started working in retail until I was able to 530 00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:55,679 Speaker 1: get a job with a great company, and I worked 531 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,240 Speaker 1: my way up to the top level of management, working 532 00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:01,920 Speaker 1: directly under the owner, making big moves op. It has 533 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,920 Speaker 1: been long hours and even having to do some work 534 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:07,520 Speaker 1: at home, like taking calls and sending emails. I have 535 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,760 Speaker 1: never been a perfect mother. I've missed some things. I 536 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:12,760 Speaker 1: was unable to get some things done for them, but 537 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,560 Speaker 1: I always did what I could to fix it or 538 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,760 Speaker 1: make it up to them. My daughters were my drive, 539 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 1: my motivation to work harder, to be able to give 540 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,679 Speaker 1: them more and that they wouldn't want for anything. I 541 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:25,840 Speaker 1: started putting money away as soon as I could for 542 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 1: their college fund, and I recently took on a second 543 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,480 Speaker 1: job so I can add more to their accounts. I 544 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,080 Speaker 1: just don't want my girls to have debt and to 545 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,639 Speaker 1: be able to study and learn whatever they want and 546 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:37,919 Speaker 1: find their career that they're going to be happy with. 547 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,800 Speaker 1: And they have been my whole world. I signed up 548 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,800 Speaker 1: to be involved with anything I could, volunteering to help 549 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:47,239 Speaker 1: work fundraisers with them, being a substitute coach when they 550 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,480 Speaker 1: needed one, to go to games for volleyball or cheer, 551 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,200 Speaker 1: taking them to fun events at the library their school, 552 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,359 Speaker 1: going to at least one MLB game per year, and 553 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,240 Speaker 1: seeing at least one family Broadway show in the city 554 00:26:58,280 --> 00:26:59,200 Speaker 1: around the holidays. 555 00:26:59,200 --> 00:26:59,760 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. 556 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,560 Speaker 1: So yeah, it sounds like you're really trying to, you know, 557 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,000 Speaker 1: make some memories with the girls. 558 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,320 Speaker 2: That was a great childhood to be short. 559 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,639 Speaker 1: My time was devoted to them, and if it was 560 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,399 Speaker 1: something I couldn't take my daughters with me or that 561 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,479 Speaker 1: they would enjoy, I wouldn't go to or do it. 562 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:17,560 Speaker 1: Fast forward to more recent times. My now husband and 563 00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:20,040 Speaker 1: I got our house together in twenty twenty one and 564 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,320 Speaker 1: we lived there with my daughters until last year when 565 00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:24,560 Speaker 1: my daughter got a job and took some college credit 566 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,080 Speaker 1: classes that it made more sense for them to move 567 00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,679 Speaker 1: back in with my parents. We're twenty minutes away. I 568 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,240 Speaker 1: don't see them daily like I used to, but I 569 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,560 Speaker 1: talked to them daily. I communicate and try to stay 570 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,640 Speaker 1: involved with everything. My oldest daughter is eighteen, and ever 571 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,120 Speaker 1: since she was about fifteen, she has had the itch 572 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:44,240 Speaker 1: to be independent. I mean they all do, right, Yeah, 573 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:47,119 Speaker 1: we all get the itch when we become teenagers and 574 00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:50,480 Speaker 1: high schoolers. We want that independence. I encourage both her 575 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,280 Speaker 1: and her sister to put some fiscal responsibility on what 576 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,359 Speaker 1: they want, just to help them understand the value of 577 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,880 Speaker 1: a dollar and take care of things they helped purchase. 578 00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,000 Speaker 1: For example, we got them cell phones when they were 579 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,919 Speaker 1: ten or eleven but flip phones, and I would not 580 00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:05,480 Speaker 1: get them smartphones until they could pay for half of it. 581 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:06,080 Speaker 2: Nice. 582 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,600 Speaker 1: That's a good life to parenting, very good. I have 583 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:10,920 Speaker 1: to work for stuff what we did the same thing 584 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:14,840 Speaker 1: for their first car and other large purchases. My oldest 585 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 1: got her first and current job at a pharmacy when 586 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:21,320 Speaker 1: she was two weeks away from turning sixteen. Well that's early, dang. Well, 587 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:24,760 Speaker 1: I guess it's not that early, but it's the beginning 588 00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:26,120 Speaker 1: of when you'd get employment. 589 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:28,879 Speaker 3: I started working at sawmon when I was seven years old. 590 00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:32,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, half that age. Don't don't don't rat on them, 591 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,119 Speaker 1: you're breaking labor laws. 592 00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 2: No, this was on the weekend because of firewood, he said. 593 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:38,840 Speaker 1: No, I volunteered to do all that work. 594 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:42,080 Speaker 2: Well, I started working out the axle sawmill at sixteen. 595 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:46,840 Speaker 1: Yeah. Wink, wink, nod nod, yeah, yeah yeah. Over the summer, 596 00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:49,920 Speaker 1: she studied hard and passed her pharmacy text certification. She 597 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,920 Speaker 1: is that driven, always having a's on a report card, 598 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 1: not accepting anything but the best from herself, et cetera. 599 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,560 Speaker 1: I've always questioned myself if I was pushing her to 600 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,200 Speaker 1: feel like I was expecting affection from her, but from 601 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:04,000 Speaker 1: multiple conversations with her, she assured me that her drive 602 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:07,120 Speaker 1: for perfection is just who she is and not me 603 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,960 Speaker 1: pushing her to be so. One thing me and my husband, 604 00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:13,040 Speaker 1: her dad, and even my sister have noticed about my 605 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 1: oldest over the past couple of years is that she's 606 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,200 Speaker 1: developed a tendency to only reach out to us when 607 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:19,320 Speaker 1: she wants something. 608 00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:20,239 Speaker 2: I did that. 609 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:22,400 Speaker 1: Everybody does that college. Oh. 610 00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:24,200 Speaker 2: I definitely did that when my parents before I went 611 00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:24,720 Speaker 2: to college. 612 00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:29,000 Speaker 1: Everybody does that when they reach a certain age. The 613 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,280 Speaker 1: only thing you want to talk to your parents about 614 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:33,720 Speaker 1: is like, yeah, it's cool, can you can you pay 615 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:35,680 Speaker 1: for my gas? Please? Can you pay this? 616 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:39,680 Speaker 3: That you don't realize how important they are and how 617 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:41,600 Speaker 3: much you want a relationship with them until after you 618 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:42,160 Speaker 3: leave home. 619 00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:44,480 Speaker 1: I mean that's when I realized it's the vast majority 620 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:45,560 Speaker 1: of people I would say yes. 621 00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:46,080 Speaker 2: Yeah. 622 00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:49,000 Speaker 1: It started after she began dating her boyfriend back when 623 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:52,200 Speaker 1: she was fifteen. And to provide context, I don't feel 624 00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,680 Speaker 1: her boyfriend is the cause of this change exactly. He's 625 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,040 Speaker 1: always been willing to do anything with our family, always 626 00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,719 Speaker 1: kind and respectful to her and to us. I've come 627 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,760 Speaker 1: to ca care about him. I have come to care 628 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:04,600 Speaker 1: about him as what I call some of her friends, 629 00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,960 Speaker 1: as one of my part time kids now. I went 630 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,800 Speaker 1: to a university near where we used to live when 631 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:13,240 Speaker 1: her dad and I were married, where he still lives. 632 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,600 Speaker 1: I have always talked about my alma mater with the 633 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,880 Speaker 1: girls when we talked about going to college and if 634 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,400 Speaker 1: they ever wanted to go look around. As they got 635 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,520 Speaker 1: older to let me know. We had a junior high 636 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,680 Speaker 1: track meet there, and after the event was over, I 637 00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,360 Speaker 1: took them around the grounds and buildings and just talked 638 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,320 Speaker 1: about how great the school was, singing all its praises, 639 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,320 Speaker 1: et cetera. I even periodically took the girls with me 640 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:35,720 Speaker 1: when they were little to a class because their sitter 641 00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 1: couldn't watch them. So there is a little sentimental history 642 00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:40,560 Speaker 1: there for us as well. I also need to add 643 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,400 Speaker 1: my sister went to the same university, so there's a 644 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,680 Speaker 1: little bit of history, a little bit of family history 645 00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:48,360 Speaker 1: at the university. My oldest daughter is now eighteen and 646 00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:51,120 Speaker 1: a senior. A requirement from her school is she has 647 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:53,880 Speaker 1: to do a couple of campus tours during her senior year. 648 00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:55,960 Speaker 1: Last month, she told me that she's scheduled to do 649 00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:59,520 Speaker 1: a tour of my alma mater this Friday, all right. 650 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:02,760 Speaker 1: I got so excited and I told her I would 651 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:04,880 Speaker 1: take time off of work to go with her, and 652 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:07,600 Speaker 1: I would love to look around with her, et cetera, 653 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:08,440 Speaker 1: et cetera. 654 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,760 Speaker 3: Dude, this is such a great chance to bond with 655 00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,200 Speaker 3: your daughter about memories you had and then like it 656 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:14,400 Speaker 3: would be so fun to do that. 657 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:16,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, I sure hope the title of the story doesn't 658 00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:20,240 Speaker 1: get in the way of all that. She then says 659 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,760 Speaker 1: she's only allowed one person to go with her on 660 00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:29,120 Speaker 1: the tour, and she asked her boyfriend to go with her. Boo, 661 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:34,480 Speaker 1: come on, just spend some time with her mom. But honestly, 662 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:35,920 Speaker 1: she's hyped about it. 663 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:40,000 Speaker 3: I understand the boyfriend, you know, important person in someone's life. 664 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,240 Speaker 3: They went there, that's they're all the mater. 665 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:45,360 Speaker 1: He didn't even go there. She's an alumni. 666 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,680 Speaker 3: Come on, don't you want to go whenever you're touring, 667 00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:50,320 Speaker 3: to go to whatever you're touring. Wouldn't you like to 668 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,160 Speaker 3: know all the ins and outs, not just from the 669 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,640 Speaker 3: tour and all the fun stuff, all the all the 670 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:57,600 Speaker 3: secret spots, all the best taco places. Yes, not like 671 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:04,600 Speaker 3: this is dorm room, this is office, This is classroom. 672 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:08,400 Speaker 1: I was a little disappointed at first, but I understood 673 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,600 Speaker 1: she's very close to him and it makes sense for 674 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,280 Speaker 1: him to go if he is also considering going to 675 00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,320 Speaker 1: the school. I asked if I could just be there 676 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:17,640 Speaker 1: and hang around campus with them after their tour. She 677 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,040 Speaker 1: said sure, and I requested the day off over this 678 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:22,560 Speaker 1: past weekend. I made a comment about how we need 679 00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:24,840 Speaker 1: to talk about a game plan for this Friday, and 680 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:27,160 Speaker 1: she made a comment of Mom, you can't be on 681 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,280 Speaker 1: the tour with me. I mean, you could set up 682 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,760 Speaker 1: your own terror appointment, but I'm only allowed to. 683 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:35,080 Speaker 3: You said one earlier, you said. 684 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,120 Speaker 1: I think she said she's only allowed two tours. Hmmm, 685 00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:44,840 Speaker 1: went right. Alumni, Oh you're an alumni. Great, Yeah, come on. 686 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:46,800 Speaker 1: I feel like this really wouldn't be that big of 687 00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:48,200 Speaker 1: a deal. If she was just like, can my mom 688 00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,600 Speaker 1: also come, they'd be like, oh, yeah, sure, we don't care. Yeah, 689 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,240 Speaker 1: It's like there's no This is like one of those 690 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:53,959 Speaker 1: fake rules that doesn't really exist. 691 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:56,000 Speaker 2: Also, like going with your boyfriend's kind of name. 692 00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:57,320 Speaker 1: I mean, not if they're like trying to go to 693 00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:57,880 Speaker 1: the same school. 694 00:32:58,160 --> 00:32:58,400 Speaker 2: Yeah. 695 00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:02,160 Speaker 1: True, but you can schedule appointment. You know, you might 696 00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 1: not want to staying with your boyfriend after you realized 697 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,880 Speaker 1: that there's seven billion people out there that didn't go 698 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,760 Speaker 1: to your high school, Like just low key okay. I 699 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:13,880 Speaker 1: thought it could only be her and her boyfriend. I 700 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:16,920 Speaker 1: kept saying that, well, we can just walk around campus 701 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,240 Speaker 1: after your tour, like we did the last time we 702 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,760 Speaker 1: talked about this trip, but she just seemed so annoyed 703 00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:24,560 Speaker 1: that I was trying to go. Last night, I was 704 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 1: with my mother and sister at our book club when 705 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:28,920 Speaker 1: my daughter came by to get my signature on a 706 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,240 Speaker 1: form from me. I noticed that she had some form 707 00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:34,360 Speaker 1: and parking passes for my alma mater, and she handed 708 00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:38,240 Speaker 1: my sister similar forms. My gut was like, okay, her 709 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:40,440 Speaker 1: aunt got a tour set up with the school. Weird 710 00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:42,920 Speaker 1: that neither one mentioned that to me. But then I 711 00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:46,040 Speaker 1: realized her aunt was going on the tour with her 712 00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:49,640 Speaker 1: and her boyfriend allowed to. That's the second Oh, so 713 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:53,600 Speaker 1: the aunt's going instead of mom. Oh no, the cool 714 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:57,320 Speaker 1: aunt took your spot. So I asked her straight up, 715 00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:59,640 Speaker 1: So that thing you just handed your aunt is that 716 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:03,040 Speaker 1: for going on the tour with you? Friday, my daughter 717 00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:04,720 Speaker 1: tried to make a little joke about it we do 718 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:08,120 Speaker 1: use humor a lot in our family and basically said yes. 719 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,520 Speaker 1: I clearly got aggravated, but I only said in response, 720 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,680 Speaker 1: I will see you on Friday. I saw red. We 721 00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:17,279 Speaker 1: all parted ways, and I wanted to cool off before 722 00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:19,399 Speaker 1: I said anything more about it. When I am mad, 723 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,880 Speaker 1: I need to cool off before I talk about it, 724 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,640 Speaker 1: or I get very mean and hurtful. It's something I 725 00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:26,960 Speaker 1: have been trying to get better at. So I finally 726 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,279 Speaker 1: sent my daughter a text because I just knew if 727 00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:31,279 Speaker 1: I talked, I would go off. I told her. I 728 00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,680 Speaker 1: was owed an explanation as to why she made me 729 00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:35,759 Speaker 1: believe I couldn't go on the tour with her, and 730 00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:37,759 Speaker 1: why she thought I wouldn't find out her aunt went 731 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:39,799 Speaker 1: with her. Did her aunt even know I wanted to go, 732 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,560 Speaker 1: or about the deceit. She replied that she just wanted 733 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,320 Speaker 1: to spend time with her aunt, that she initially misunderstood 734 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,880 Speaker 1: what the tour limits were about how many guests she 735 00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,279 Speaker 1: could have with her. I'm still not sure if that's 736 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:53,600 Speaker 1: exactly the truth, and that her aunt explained in conversation 737 00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,360 Speaker 1: with her that she could have two other people with 738 00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:58,520 Speaker 1: her on the tour and she just really wanted her 739 00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:01,880 Speaker 1: aunt to go. I was just hurt so right here. 740 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,680 Speaker 3: I remember whenever I was going to college, I was 741 00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:08,480 Speaker 3: button heads so hard with my mom. Oh yeah, like 742 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,359 Speaker 3: me and her. That was probably like the worst part 743 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,560 Speaker 3: of our relationship. There's been like two bad parts with 744 00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:15,279 Speaker 3: my mom and I's relationship. That one was like one 745 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:16,160 Speaker 3: of the bad ones. 746 00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:19,239 Speaker 1: Like that she wanted to go somewhere else and she no, we. 747 00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,000 Speaker 3: Agreed on that, but just like going up, I was 748 00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,560 Speaker 3: ready to leave the house and we were just button 749 00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:28,280 Speaker 3: heads with everything. Also clocking the humor thing, I think 750 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:32,279 Speaker 3: that ope, like she'll probably like say something in a 751 00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,920 Speaker 3: humor like clean your room, oh, clean your dirty like 752 00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:37,040 Speaker 3: clean your dirty room, you rascal, but like in a 753 00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,080 Speaker 3: mean way. And she did say that she gets mean 754 00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:41,600 Speaker 3: at times when like it's a part of confrontation. So 755 00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:45,640 Speaker 3: I think that, Ope, that your child here is just 756 00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:49,440 Speaker 3: kind of like ready to leave, and she's she just 757 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:50,479 Speaker 3: sees you as like. 758 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,240 Speaker 1: I don't want to be around her. I'm ready to leave. 759 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,239 Speaker 3: This is just annoying because that's how I felt, and 760 00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:59,400 Speaker 3: I have seen people families were like they use humor 761 00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,800 Speaker 3: to like kind of get at one another. Yeah, dude, 762 00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:06,120 Speaker 3: it gets so toxic, so quick, because there's no humor 763 00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:08,239 Speaker 3: in it. It's just like in a laughing manner, but 764 00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:09,720 Speaker 3: it's just like a jab yeah. 765 00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:11,759 Speaker 1: And then everyone's like, oh, okay, so how do I 766 00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:13,440 Speaker 1: How am I supposed to feel about that? 767 00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:16,959 Speaker 3: I think or ope, I'm sorry if this like horror 768 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,440 Speaker 3: is hard and I probably don't know you. There might 769 00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:20,920 Speaker 3: be some layers you need to figure out with your 770 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,239 Speaker 3: communication skills, because it seems like your daughter is not 771 00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:26,200 Speaker 3: really receiving that, and that's why there's a disconnect between 772 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:26,440 Speaker 3: you two. 773 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:29,600 Speaker 1: Very nice, very deep, thank you. Her aunt and I 774 00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,480 Speaker 1: work at the same company, and I got a little curious. 775 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,279 Speaker 1: I looked at when I requested Friday off versus when 776 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:38,480 Speaker 1: her aunt requested it off. I requested it off immediately 777 00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:40,600 Speaker 1: after my daughter and I talked about the tour on 778 00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:45,080 Speaker 1: October twenty fifth. My sister requested it off November twelfth. 779 00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:47,720 Speaker 1: I pointed that out to my daughter. She again explained 780 00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:50,200 Speaker 1: her misunderstanding of the guest limit and she wanted her 781 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,640 Speaker 1: aunt to go. I asked her why she didn't tell 782 00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:54,920 Speaker 1: me anything about it. Though I've always been approachable and 783 00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:56,719 Speaker 1: they know they can talk to me about anything, and 784 00:36:56,760 --> 00:37:01,160 Speaker 1: they have low key though, Well, maybe this is just 785 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:05,880 Speaker 1: how you're getting about this one context of like the 786 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,880 Speaker 1: college trip. But I feel like if this is like 787 00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:13,719 Speaker 1: how meticulous you're kind of looking into this situation, that 788 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:17,160 Speaker 1: might cue us into as to why she didn't want you. 789 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:20,560 Speaker 3: To, because let's look at other situations, how did you 790 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,680 Speaker 3: handle those and how did your daughter feel after you 791 00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:24,760 Speaker 3: handle them that way? 792 00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:27,080 Speaker 1: And it really could be just as simple as like, 793 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,680 Speaker 1: we're wrong about both of those things, and it's just 794 00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:33,440 Speaker 1: an eighteen year old who wants to feel independence, yeah, 795 00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:37,040 Speaker 1: and would feel like going on a college tour with 796 00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:40,440 Speaker 1: my mom, Yeah, would not make me feel very independent. 797 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,120 Speaker 1: So it could just be that it really could just 798 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:45,399 Speaker 1: be her being eighteen. They told me the first time 799 00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:49,200 Speaker 1: that they tried booze or experimented with substances, and I 800 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:52,200 Speaker 1: never once even got upset or even punished them my 801 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,239 Speaker 1: stance and my daughters have always known this. Teenagers are 802 00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,359 Speaker 1: going to feel tempted to try that stuff no matter 803 00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,200 Speaker 1: what I say or do, and I taught them what 804 00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:01,239 Speaker 1: would happen if they try that stuff. But I want 805 00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:02,840 Speaker 1: them to always come to me if they are in 806 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,880 Speaker 1: a situation of being too wasted to drive or not 807 00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:08,640 Speaker 1: having a sober driver available, or whatever it might be. 808 00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,640 Speaker 1: And I would never get upset with them. I would 809 00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:13,920 Speaker 1: rather know and be involved and encourage them to contact 810 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:17,400 Speaker 1: me instead of making bad decisions in order to avoid 811 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,200 Speaker 1: getting into trouble. And it's worked really well. They've told 812 00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:22,920 Speaker 1: me about every time they were ever offered or tried something, 813 00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:25,319 Speaker 1: and I would ask some questions, we would talk about it, 814 00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:27,640 Speaker 1: and they came to the conclusions on their own to 815 00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:30,880 Speaker 1: avoid doing that stuff again because of how they felt afterwards. 816 00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:33,120 Speaker 1: I feel like hangovers are the best teachers of why 817 00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:36,680 Speaker 1: it's a bad idea to get wasted. So it just 818 00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:39,400 Speaker 1: perplexed me that she didn't feel like talking to me 819 00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,680 Speaker 1: about this whole mess. I felt so cut out of 820 00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:45,520 Speaker 1: her life. Since then, she knew that I really wanted 821 00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:47,520 Speaker 1: to go, but she didn't feel that she could talk 822 00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:50,920 Speaker 1: to me about what she wanted, especially how her whole life. 823 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,920 Speaker 1: I've worked, I've given and tried to be there for 824 00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:56,000 Speaker 1: her and her sister. I told her that she is 825 00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,239 Speaker 1: not going to cancel on her boyfriend or her aunt 826 00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:00,360 Speaker 1: for this tour because it is what it is, and 827 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:03,680 Speaker 1: I don't want her disappointing them. But it'll never disappoint us. 828 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:07,440 Speaker 1: When you join us when we go live every weekday 829 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:11,319 Speaker 1: at three pm PST on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitch, just 830 00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:14,640 Speaker 1: tap our profile tivity tap tap. We're probably live right now. 831 00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:17,399 Speaker 1: You might want to go check anyway. So, I mean, 832 00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:18,680 Speaker 1: where are we at? 833 00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:20,240 Speaker 2: I think he feels the portrayed. 834 00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:25,400 Speaker 1: Oh, p's got feelings, and feelings are sometimes feelings are messy. 835 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:27,239 Speaker 1: It's like, this is your alma mater. A lot of 836 00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:29,520 Speaker 1: stuff is mixed up about it, about how you feel 837 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:34,040 Speaker 1: about it. I don't think your daughter really fully understands 838 00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:37,840 Speaker 1: how important this clearly was to you. Yeah, you know, 839 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:39,960 Speaker 1: it was like, oh my mom's just being a dork 840 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:43,000 Speaker 1: about you know, like the alma mater. But it's like 841 00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:46,760 Speaker 1: it really sounds like it was kind of a super 842 00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,160 Speaker 1: meaningful thing to you. I don't think she ever understood. 843 00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:52,080 Speaker 3: I don't think she will until after she's out to 844 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:55,040 Speaker 3: college to understand that. Because when you're that close to 845 00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:58,279 Speaker 3: your family and you want, you were striving, you were 846 00:39:58,360 --> 00:39:59,560 Speaker 3: begging for that independence. 847 00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:02,080 Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean from everything that was described about the daughter, 848 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,160 Speaker 1: like the oldest daughter, how she was, you know, she'd 849 00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:06,840 Speaker 1: been wanting to feel that independence for like three years. 850 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:11,840 Speaker 1: Jesus already dating her boyfriend, which you know that'll do 851 00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:15,359 Speaker 1: it to you. But a part of me thinks even 852 00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:19,799 Speaker 1: if she did know how important this was to Opie, 853 00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:21,640 Speaker 1: she probably still wouldn't have want her to go. 854 00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:23,560 Speaker 2: No, it's that independence borough. 855 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:25,640 Speaker 1: She wants to taste that sweet, juicy independence. 856 00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:27,400 Speaker 3: Did I remember the first night I got to college, 857 00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:29,640 Speaker 3: I went to cook out and I was like, I 858 00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:31,319 Speaker 3: don't need to tell anyone wanting to get it back. 859 00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:35,040 Speaker 3: This is amazing. I love this. 860 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:37,239 Speaker 2: Freedom. 861 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,200 Speaker 1: I could do whatever I want now, amazing. All right, 862 00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:44,720 Speaker 1: let's see how this ends. My frustrated and hurt nature 863 00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,319 Speaker 1: wants to go do something she wanted to do with 864 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,080 Speaker 1: me without her. Oh, don't get petty, mom, Come on, 865 00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:52,400 Speaker 1: don't get petty. Go to the local Christmas market with 866 00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:54,520 Speaker 1: my husband and her sister without her, or do some 867 00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:57,160 Speaker 1: holiday shopping with the ladies of the family but without her. 868 00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,160 Speaker 1: Just paint a picture of what cutting me out of 869 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:02,919 Speaker 1: her life is really like. Okay, but I am her mom. 870 00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:06,000 Speaker 1: I want to be there for her. I will always 871 00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:07,759 Speaker 1: be here for her, and I don't want her to 872 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,800 Speaker 1: ever feel like I'm not here for her. But would 873 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:11,200 Speaker 1: I be the a hole if I did one of 874 00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:13,440 Speaker 1: those things without her, just to put it bluntly, to 875 00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:15,160 Speaker 1: show her how it feels. Yeah, you would be the 876 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,960 Speaker 1: a hole because that's not putting it bluntly. That's putting it, like, 877 00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:21,360 Speaker 1: you know, discreetly, by excluding her from a family event 878 00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:26,080 Speaker 1: and using that as a pretext to what teacher a lesson. Yeah, 879 00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:28,439 Speaker 1: you're not actually explicitly teaching her, do you. I don't 880 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:29,960 Speaker 1: even think you just want to be petty? I can 881 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:34,040 Speaker 1: tell Yeah, yeah, I think you're not putting spiraling. 882 00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:36,879 Speaker 3: Just take a moment, take take a breath, and you'll 883 00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:37,319 Speaker 3: be good to go. 884 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:41,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, your daughter's growing up. You got to reckon with it. Yep, sucks, 885 00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:43,200 Speaker 1: but hey, maybe you can have this experience with your 886 00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:44,160 Speaker 1: younger daughter. Yeah. 887 00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:46,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I mean you're. 888 00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,440 Speaker 1: At some point you're gonna spend time with her on campus. 889 00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:50,799 Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be during the tour. Yeah. Right, 890 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:52,400 Speaker 1: you're gonna see her at some point. 891 00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:54,359 Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know, give her some time. 892 00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:55,440 Speaker 1: She'll probably start missing it. 893 00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:58,160 Speaker 3: Daughter might go low contact. If if this isn't like 894 00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:00,440 Speaker 3: I think there's just a there's an issue between you 895 00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:04,239 Speaker 3: and your daughter's communication. Yeah, and I would go to 896 00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,560 Speaker 3: therapy to figure that out. Yeah, Cynthian. 897 00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:10,040 Speaker 1: That is the end of that story. Hey, it's John 898 00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:11,800 Speaker 1: you og host here. We're gonna get back to the stories. 899 00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:13,440 Speaker 1: But here's a quick three minute break of ass from 900 00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:14,239 Speaker 1: our sponsors. 901 00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:17,719 Speaker 4: My pregnant sister in law is afraid I'll steal the 902 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:18,759 Speaker 4: spotlight from her. 903 00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:23,240 Speaker 1: Now she's treating me like absolute garbage. You can't steal 904 00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:26,600 Speaker 1: my spot I know if you're in the dumbst My boyfriend. 905 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:28,760 Speaker 4: Male thirty and I female twenty five had just gotten 906 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:31,480 Speaker 4: married in May of this year after being together for 907 00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:36,239 Speaker 4: five years. Dying for context, My now husband's family has 908 00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:39,839 Speaker 4: an interesting history and dynamic. I describe them as very 909 00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:43,440 Speaker 4: multicultural and diverse. By the way, this comes from CB 910 00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:47,760 Speaker 4: fifteen seventy on the Okay storytime Separate It. My father 911 00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,239 Speaker 4: in law is black slash Arab mixed and my mother 912 00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,320 Speaker 4: in law is white slash Persian mixed. As a result, 913 00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:57,400 Speaker 4: their extended families are spread around the world. My husband 914 00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:00,800 Speaker 4: has three more siblings, an elder brother and two younger brothers. 915 00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:03,240 Speaker 4: I'm not sure if this is important, but I'm Asian. 916 00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,359 Speaker 4: So my husband was studying in my home country, which 917 00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:09,080 Speaker 4: is how we met. He has also lived and worked 918 00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:12,840 Speaker 4: in my country for the past four years. It's safe 919 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:16,040 Speaker 4: to say he's made his permanent home here. Because of 920 00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:18,560 Speaker 4: the dynamics of his family, I rarely get to meet 921 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:22,600 Speaker 4: them because they all live in different countries. During our 922 00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:26,239 Speaker 4: five year relationship, I barely met his parents two to 923 00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:29,120 Speaker 4: three times and never met his older brother and his wife. 924 00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:31,640 Speaker 4: That is, I mean, I guess that makes sense if 925 00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:32,680 Speaker 4: they're all in different countries. 926 00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:35,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're that spread out that it's like it's 927 00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:36,400 Speaker 1: going to be difficult. 928 00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:39,719 Speaker 4: On the other hand, I see his younger brothers frequently 929 00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:42,359 Speaker 4: because they are currently studying in my native country, and 930 00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:43,200 Speaker 4: we're really close. 931 00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:43,920 Speaker 1: That's lovely. 932 00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:46,960 Speaker 4: Fast forward to May of this year, when my now 933 00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,920 Speaker 4: husband and I chose to get married in my home country. 934 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,840 Speaker 4: All of his family flew here to attend the wedding, 935 00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,160 Speaker 4: and I met my husband's older brother and his. 936 00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:57,120 Speaker 1: Wife for the first time. 937 00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:00,560 Speaker 4: The first awkward incident with my son mister in law 938 00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:03,120 Speaker 4: occurred when I went to the airport with my husband 939 00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:05,520 Speaker 4: to pick her and my brother in law up a 940 00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:08,839 Speaker 4: few days before our wedding. When we first met, I 941 00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:13,279 Speaker 4: extended my hand for handshake, expecting a full strong handshake 942 00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:16,640 Speaker 4: to my sister in law and she literally just used 943 00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:18,920 Speaker 4: the tip of her fingers to touch my hands. 944 00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:24,080 Speaker 1: Oh no, it's like, oh, oh, that's so sweet of you. Thanks. Oh. 945 00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:26,680 Speaker 1: I don't know how to describe it, but it's like 946 00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:29,000 Speaker 1: when you don't really want to touch someone's hand during 947 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,960 Speaker 1: a handshake. Oh, I can describe it right now. It's 948 00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:33,560 Speaker 1: like if the queen was like trying to shake a 949 00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:35,359 Speaker 1: peasant's hand and she goes ugh. 950 00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:38,600 Speaker 4: Following that, she walked right past me and hugged my 951 00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:41,440 Speaker 4: husband on the other sand. On the other side, my 952 00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:44,800 Speaker 4: brother in law is really welcoming and thrilled to finally 953 00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:48,000 Speaker 4: meet me. He hugged me and said, it's great to 954 00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:51,279 Speaker 4: finally meet you. His warmth made me forget about my 955 00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:54,279 Speaker 4: sister in law's rudeness and we moved on. In the 956 00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:56,680 Speaker 4: days leading up to the wedding, my sister in law 957 00:44:56,680 --> 00:45:00,680 Speaker 4: meets subtle remarks about the wedding, criticizing every element we choose, 958 00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:04,600 Speaker 4: from the flowers to my wedding dress. For everyone's information. 959 00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:08,160 Speaker 4: I come from a financially secure family that owns a business. 960 00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:11,520 Speaker 4: My parents supported half of the wedding costs, while the 961 00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:14,719 Speaker 4: other half was covered by myself and my husband. My 962 00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,280 Speaker 4: husband is a doctor and I work as an engineer. 963 00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:20,239 Speaker 4: One thing that frustrates me is how my sister in 964 00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:23,160 Speaker 4: law keeps telling me how fortunate I am to have 965 00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:26,040 Speaker 4: a wealthy family to mooch off from. And I'm sure, 966 00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:29,400 Speaker 4: and I'm surely throwing a lot of tantrums at my parents, 967 00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:33,719 Speaker 4: given how enormous and luxurious the wedding is. That's such 968 00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:36,080 Speaker 4: a weird thing to say, Like, isn't it nice that 969 00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:37,680 Speaker 4: you get to mooch off all their money? 970 00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:42,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's that's like the most backhand. That's even a compliment. 971 00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:45,799 Speaker 1: You're insulting. That's just straight up insult And then you're like, 972 00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:48,640 Speaker 1: and you must be throwing so many tantrums to be 973 00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:51,919 Speaker 1: getting this big, you know, this expensive wedding. 974 00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:54,839 Speaker 4: But it's always so subtle that it wouldn't start a fight, 975 00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:58,319 Speaker 4: but enough to make me uncomfortable. For background, my brother 976 00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:00,759 Speaker 4: in law and sister in law are also both financially 977 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:04,920 Speaker 4: well off. My husband's family was similarly financially comfortable to 978 00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:08,239 Speaker 4: begin with. My brother in law is an accountant, and 979 00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:11,360 Speaker 4: my sister in law occupies a management position in a company. 980 00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:14,680 Speaker 4: She is also a lifestyle influencer with quite a large 981 00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:18,480 Speaker 4: following on Instagram and they live in Dubai. You know 982 00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:19,400 Speaker 4: how expensive? 983 00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:24,279 Speaker 1: Oh, she's living in Dubai, rich throwing shots at you 984 00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:28,120 Speaker 1: about your rich family in Dubai. That's crazy. 985 00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:30,920 Speaker 4: Fast forward to September of this year, my husband and 986 00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:33,399 Speaker 4: I received an invitation from my brother in law and 987 00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:37,040 Speaker 4: sister in law for a gender reveal party and baby 988 00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:41,160 Speaker 4: shower in October, which occurred a few days ago. We 989 00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:44,680 Speaker 4: were ecstatic and decided to book our flights to Dubai 990 00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:49,399 Speaker 4: immediately after receiving the invitation. For your information, there will 991 00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:52,439 Speaker 4: be two separate offense a gender reveal party for brother 992 00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:56,760 Speaker 4: in law, sister in law and their respective families acquaintances, 993 00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:59,080 Speaker 4: and a baby shower for my sister in law and 994 00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:03,920 Speaker 4: her female family members an acquaintance and acquaintances the following day. Okay, 995 00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,120 Speaker 4: so there's the gender reveal party for the whole family 996 00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:09,000 Speaker 4: and then the baby shower just for sister in law 997 00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:12,880 Speaker 4: and the family, the female friends and family members. I 998 00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:15,279 Speaker 4: was invited to both parties, and I was supposed to 999 00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:18,160 Speaker 4: attend the baby shower without my husband, which I believe 1000 00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:20,799 Speaker 4: was a nice opportunity to bond with my sister in law. 1001 00:47:21,480 --> 00:47:25,839 Speaker 4: One would think But then my sister in law contacted 1002 00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:29,160 Speaker 4: my husband one day before the gender reveal party and 1003 00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:32,719 Speaker 4: informed him that I was not invited. 1004 00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:36,120 Speaker 1: To the baby shower. How are you going to uninvite 1005 00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:39,720 Speaker 1: someone the day before because you're petty? Because you're so petty? 1006 00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:42,520 Speaker 1: This is crazy? Way what is it with sister? Like 1007 00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:46,000 Speaker 1: sometimes the sisters just like hate the bride. I don't 1008 00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,719 Speaker 1: get it, Like, yeah, like would you hate? Like what 1009 00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:51,400 Speaker 1: has has Sam ever had like a girlfriend that you 1010 00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:52,080 Speaker 1: just like hated? 1011 00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:54,320 Speaker 4: No, But I also don't really like There's not a 1012 00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:56,520 Speaker 4: lot of people that I like hate to the point 1013 00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:58,839 Speaker 4: where I would like actively fair enough. 1014 00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:02,000 Speaker 1: You know, you're not hate person. You're just a Harvard 1015 00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:06,160 Speaker 1: medical just a Harvard I'm a Harvard girl. For all 1016 00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:10,239 Speaker 1: the people listening, we're saying a joke because Sophia is 1017 00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:14,319 Speaker 1: wearing a Harvard Harvard School sweater, which is one of 1018 00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:18,520 Speaker 1: several different Ivy League institution sweaters that she has. What 1019 00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:20,880 Speaker 1: can I say, I've lived a long life. 1020 00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:23,080 Speaker 4: The reason is that she does not want me to 1021 00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:26,680 Speaker 4: draw attention away from her during the events. My husband 1022 00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:30,080 Speaker 4: and I were plainly perplexed as to how and why 1023 00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:33,319 Speaker 4: I would be diverting attention away from her, and her 1024 00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:35,920 Speaker 4: reason is that no one knows or has ever met me, 1025 00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:39,480 Speaker 4: so they will ask, and she does not want to spend. 1026 00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:42,480 Speaker 1: Time explaining who I am to her guests. She's like, 1027 00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:46,560 Speaker 1: she noody knows you, So why is she going to 1028 00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:47,560 Speaker 1: steal my spotlight? 1029 00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:48,080 Speaker 3: Oh? 1030 00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:51,839 Speaker 1: Because she exists? How am I supposed to explain that 1031 00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:55,440 Speaker 1: to everybody? I have to introduce her? No? 1032 00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:58,760 Speaker 4: No, I'm only I'm only being like the only people 1033 00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:01,279 Speaker 4: invited are like, they have to know each other. 1034 00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:04,000 Speaker 1: Everyone has to know each other, have to know me 1035 00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:04,800 Speaker 1: and no one else. 1036 00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:08,680 Speaker 4: No, it seems like she's saying they all they also 1037 00:49:08,719 --> 00:49:10,120 Speaker 4: have to know everyone else at the party. 1038 00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:13,520 Speaker 1: Actually, yeah, I was, so I was on opposite. You're 1039 00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,560 Speaker 1: on the opposite, I think, Yeah, Well that's because it's 1040 00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:16,440 Speaker 1: just a ridiculous thing. 1041 00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:20,200 Speaker 4: It's ridiculous because my husband and I do not want 1042 00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:23,359 Speaker 4: to cause unnecessary drama. We just agreed that I will 1043 00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:26,400 Speaker 4: only attend the gender reveal party with him. On the 1044 00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:28,520 Speaker 4: day of the gender reveal party, I went with my 1045 00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:30,840 Speaker 4: husband and my sister in law did not speak with 1046 00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:34,480 Speaker 4: me at all or even recognize my presence. 1047 00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:38,680 Speaker 1: That's a very that what a what an emotionally mature, 1048 00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:39,680 Speaker 1: classy move. 1049 00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:44,160 Speaker 4: She sounds like a nightmare. I tried to make small 1050 00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:47,400 Speaker 4: chat to congratulate her, but she just blew me off 1051 00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:50,400 Speaker 4: every time. My brother in law, on the other end, 1052 00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:51,560 Speaker 4: is as friendly as effort. 1053 00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:53,920 Speaker 1: Thankfully. Why is he married to this woman? I don't know? 1054 00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:58,279 Speaker 1: Is maybe she's really hot. Maybe she's really hot. When 1055 00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:01,520 Speaker 1: the party appeared to be the that's always are operating, 1056 00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:05,920 Speaker 1: it's like, why are they with this terrible person? Oh? 1057 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:09,200 Speaker 1: Oh they're hot, they're probably really hot hot. 1058 00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:11,560 Speaker 4: When the party appeared to be coming to an end, 1059 00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:13,280 Speaker 4: I went out to the car to get the gift 1060 00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:15,960 Speaker 4: I had purchased, apparently for the baby shower, but because 1061 00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:18,080 Speaker 4: I would not be attending the baby shower the next day, 1062 00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:21,960 Speaker 4: I decided to give it to her that day. During 1063 00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:24,279 Speaker 4: that time, the guests began to leave, and when I 1064 00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:27,320 Speaker 4: handed her to the gift, she screamed at me loudly. 1065 00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:30,400 Speaker 4: The first thing she said was don't you have matters? 1066 00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:34,520 Speaker 4: What I was clearly taken aback and bewildered. She then 1067 00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:37,640 Speaker 4: accused me of attempting to assert dominance by flaunting my 1068 00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:41,200 Speaker 4: flaunting my wealth and rubbing it in her face, as 1069 00:50:41,239 --> 00:50:43,520 Speaker 4: well as looking down at her projection. 1070 00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:47,160 Speaker 1: You'rel you live in Dubai. You live in Dubai. You 1071 00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:49,880 Speaker 1: live in the city that's like, hey, richest city, and 1072 00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:53,120 Speaker 1: you have money. You have to if you live here, 1073 00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:57,080 Speaker 1: you have you either have money here or we take 1074 00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:59,440 Speaker 1: your documents and we turn you into an indentured servant 1075 00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:01,480 Speaker 1: and you have to live here for years and through 1076 00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:04,640 Speaker 1: free labor. That's by the way. Oh man, don't don't 1077 00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:07,840 Speaker 1: mess around. If you go to Dubai, have money, don't 1078 00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:09,560 Speaker 1: mess around, follow their rules. 1079 00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:11,640 Speaker 6: They will take your paperwork. Oh my god, they straight 1080 00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:14,640 Speaker 6: up will. So be careful for those who are curious 1081 00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:17,680 Speaker 6: about the present I bought. I purchased a baby blanket 1082 00:51:17,719 --> 00:51:21,160 Speaker 6: and sleeping bag from dere and the present they have 1083 00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:23,680 Speaker 6: baby blank they have deor baby blankets. 1084 00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:27,560 Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, actually, come on, that's actually kind of crazy. 1085 00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:32,720 Speaker 1: Red Dash don't do that. And that is gross actually, 1086 00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:36,920 Speaker 1: and the present is in the door shopping bag. Don't 1087 00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:40,800 Speaker 1: buy your baby's designer stuff. People, Why are we buying babies? 1088 00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:44,560 Speaker 1: They're bay it's bab I's a baby. That's a baby. 1089 00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:47,880 Speaker 4: I felt humiliated after being screamed at, and my blood 1090 00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:50,239 Speaker 4: was boiling at the time. I mean, I get to 1091 00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:53,200 Speaker 4: be fair like or to be clear, crazy reaction on 1092 00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:55,600 Speaker 4: the sister and the lost part, but also crazy present. 1093 00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:58,120 Speaker 4: I yelled back in rage, asking her what I did 1094 00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:01,200 Speaker 4: wrong to deserve to be treated so disrespectfully by her. 1095 00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:04,600 Speaker 4: I said that her insecurities were not my responsibility, and 1096 00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:07,480 Speaker 4: that if she despised me that much, she should not 1097 00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:09,000 Speaker 4: have invited me in the first place. 1098 00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:10,400 Speaker 1: That's true, not wrong. 1099 00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:14,080 Speaker 4: She appears stunned by my words and begins crying. Both 1100 00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:16,160 Speaker 4: my husband and brother in law rushed towards us to 1101 00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:19,319 Speaker 4: calmed out. My husband suggested that we leave, as well, 1102 00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:21,960 Speaker 4: as some guests had already begun to leave. It happened 1103 00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:25,960 Speaker 4: three days ago, and since then everything has been quiet. 1104 00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:29,359 Speaker 4: Nobody said anything, And now I feel horrible for yelling 1105 00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:30,200 Speaker 4: at a pregnant woman. 1106 00:52:30,719 --> 00:52:34,640 Speaker 1: And there is an update. Oh, could it be just hormones? Hormones? 1107 00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:39,520 Speaker 1: I don't like, that's just crazy amount. It can't be 1108 00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:40,000 Speaker 1: all of these. 1109 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,000 Speaker 4: There's ought to be some other thing that she feels 1110 00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:43,759 Speaker 4: offended by because she never talked. 1111 00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:46,200 Speaker 1: Ope, I don't know. I'm gonna say, it's like a 1112 00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:49,760 Speaker 1: weird thing with your brother. Yeah, it's like you're taking 1113 00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:52,200 Speaker 1: our brother or you took him a whoa, oh, or 1114 00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:55,399 Speaker 1: you took this is her because she's married. So it's 1115 00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:56,239 Speaker 1: the brother in law and sister. 1116 00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:56,320 Speaker 3: No. 1117 00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:58,799 Speaker 1: No, I'm saying that the sister in law is mad 1118 00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:03,600 Speaker 1: at ope are taking No, but that's not her brother. 1119 00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:07,600 Speaker 1: It's her husband's brother. To my knowledge, dang. And I 1120 00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:10,719 Speaker 1: have no idea what did this person do? Crazy? Not 1121 00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:14,640 Speaker 1: a clue, not a clue. The way to go about this, 1122 00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:17,080 Speaker 1: in my opinion, is it's like if you're you know, 1123 00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:18,960 Speaker 1: if you never see these people and you're just out 1124 00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:21,279 Speaker 1: there visiting them, and it's like you're already planning on 1125 00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:24,319 Speaker 1: getting married to your you know, your boyfriend. You guys 1126 00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:27,799 Speaker 1: are getting more serious, like just do what you can to, Like, 1127 00:53:28,840 --> 00:53:31,640 Speaker 1: you gotta be the grease in the situation. You got to. 1128 00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:33,879 Speaker 1: You gotta be the one who goes high. You got 1129 00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:36,000 Speaker 1: they're going she's going low. You gotta gotta go hi 1130 00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:39,840 Speaker 1: for your own life, own well being. 1131 00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:42,320 Speaker 4: But there is an update. It has been a month 1132 00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:44,919 Speaker 4: since my last post, and now I have the opportunity 1133 00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:48,839 Speaker 4: to provide an update. Finally, first and foremost, I would 1134 00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:51,320 Speaker 4: like to thank everyone who commented and supported me in 1135 00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:54,680 Speaker 4: my previous post, and I apologize for not being able 1136 00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:56,960 Speaker 4: to respond to each and every one of you. By 1137 00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,080 Speaker 4: the way, my husband and I have returned safely to 1138 00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:02,279 Speaker 4: our home. After a few days of silence following what 1139 00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:05,759 Speaker 4: happened at the gender reveal party, I eventually sat down 1140 00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:08,600 Speaker 4: with my husband to discuss it. We had an honest 1141 00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:11,920 Speaker 4: discussion in which I expressed how mean my sister in 1142 00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,480 Speaker 4: law had been to me, and my husband ended up 1143 00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:18,560 Speaker 4: apologizing for not standing up for me while subconsciously knowing 1144 00:54:18,719 --> 00:54:22,800 Speaker 4: how my sister in law treated me subconsciously, w husband, 1145 00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:23,960 Speaker 4: I don't think you have to. I don't know if 1146 00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:27,680 Speaker 4: he's it's pretty obvious to see how she was treating I. 1147 00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:30,080 Speaker 1: Think when she's screaming at you in front of the 1148 00:54:30,719 --> 00:54:34,240 Speaker 1: shower party. Yeah, yeah, that's pretty clear, pretty obvious. 1149 00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:37,799 Speaker 4: As I mentioned in my previous post, my husband comes 1150 00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:40,120 Speaker 4: from a household without a girl's sibling, and for the 1151 00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:43,000 Speaker 4: past twelve years, sister in law has been like a 1152 00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:46,520 Speaker 4: sister to him, leaving him torn between speaking out against 1153 00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:50,320 Speaker 4: her and sticking up for me. You should you should 1154 00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:51,560 Speaker 4: be sticking up for your partner. 1155 00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:55,400 Speaker 1: Man. My theory was kind of right, Yeah, that she 1156 00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:57,279 Speaker 1: was like this is the projective syst Now it has 1157 00:54:57,280 --> 00:55:01,040 Speaker 1: an even darker twist because they're not really so maybe 1158 00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:05,080 Speaker 1: she's got a little I married the wrong brother. Ooh, 1159 00:55:05,480 --> 00:55:08,840 Speaker 1: that'd be badoo, that'd be bad. Uh huh. 1160 00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:11,240 Speaker 4: He said he didn't expect things to go so bad 1161 00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,759 Speaker 4: because we live in separate countries and won't see each 1162 00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:17,560 Speaker 4: other much. We resolved our conversation with him promising to 1163 00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:21,040 Speaker 4: have my back if something like this happened again. In 1164 00:55:21,120 --> 00:55:24,359 Speaker 4: the same week, my husband and I had the opportunity 1165 00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:26,359 Speaker 4: to speak with my brother in law through video call. 1166 00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:29,480 Speaker 4: Sister in law was not present. I know not everyone 1167 00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:33,520 Speaker 4: would agree with my apology, but I did apologize to 1168 00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:35,920 Speaker 4: brother in law for causing a scene by yelling at 1169 00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:39,680 Speaker 4: their gender reveal party. To my surprise, brother in law 1170 00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:44,920 Speaker 4: was fine, and he remarked she had it coming. Okay, 1171 00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:47,880 Speaker 4: so okay, so so no one's. 1172 00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:50,320 Speaker 1: Supportive of their partners. There's a little trouble in paradise 1173 00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:51,600 Speaker 1: over there in Dubai. 1174 00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:56,359 Speaker 4: So following that, brother in law apologize to me on 1175 00:55:56,440 --> 00:55:59,120 Speaker 4: behalf of sister in law as well as for turning 1176 00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:01,720 Speaker 4: a blind eye to what have been going on between 1177 00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:02,919 Speaker 4: me and sister in law. 1178 00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:04,760 Speaker 1: We discussed what might. 1179 00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:06,480 Speaker 4: Be the source of sister in law's hatred for me, 1180 00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:09,680 Speaker 4: and to my surprise, it appears to be tied to 1181 00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:11,920 Speaker 4: the fact that sister in law believes I am taking 1182 00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:14,320 Speaker 4: over the position of daughter in law in the family 1183 00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:14,879 Speaker 4: from her. 1184 00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:18,520 Speaker 1: Oh so it's okay. So it wasn't that she was 1185 00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:21,640 Speaker 1: taking okay, so it was that you're stepping into what 1186 00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:25,560 Speaker 1: my that's my throne. I am the sister in law 1187 00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:26,720 Speaker 1: everyone loves. 1188 00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:29,480 Speaker 4: You can't have two sister in laws, no one who 1189 00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:33,200 Speaker 4: like you. She has been the only sister in law 1190 00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:36,320 Speaker 4: for my husband's brothers, and she believes I am taking 1191 00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:40,160 Speaker 4: over the role. As I previously stated, my husband's younger 1192 00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:42,800 Speaker 4: brothers have been studying in my home country since early 1193 00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:46,240 Speaker 4: this year, and we have had many opportunities to spend 1194 00:56:46,239 --> 00:56:49,000 Speaker 4: time together. According to brother in law, sister in law 1195 00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:52,359 Speaker 4: believes the brothers have been pulling away from her and 1196 00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:56,360 Speaker 4: becoming closer to me. For information, The brothers are twenty 1197 00:56:56,360 --> 00:57:00,719 Speaker 4: two and sixteen years old. Maybe because you're nasty, yeah, man, 1198 00:57:00,719 --> 00:57:04,520 Speaker 4: they don't like get a little nasty girl. Adding to 1199 00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:07,800 Speaker 4: the unpredictable pregnant hormones, she believes I'm buying the brother's 1200 00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:11,040 Speaker 4: love by spoiling them with materialistic items. 1201 00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:13,759 Speaker 1: Live in Dubai, you live, you live in Dubai. I said, 1202 00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:16,720 Speaker 1: everyone rich here? Isn't everyone rich in the story? Yeah. 1203 00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:19,040 Speaker 4: Brother in law stated that she had mentioned her concern 1204 00:57:19,120 --> 00:57:21,920 Speaker 4: to him several times previously, and he did not but 1205 00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:24,840 Speaker 4: he did not expect her to take it seriously and 1206 00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:28,160 Speaker 4: always dismissed it. But we would never dismiss you if 1207 00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:32,800 Speaker 4: you join us live every weekday at three pmpst on YouTube, Facebook, 1208 00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:35,640 Speaker 4: and TikTok just top of our profile, and there is 1209 00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:36,280 Speaker 4: a little bit more. 1210 00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:39,520 Speaker 1: But what are your thoughts here? What do we do well? 1211 00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:42,320 Speaker 1: First thought is that I didn't realize so many people 1212 00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:44,760 Speaker 1: kept their baby blankets for so long looking at the 1213 00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:45,240 Speaker 1: chat here. 1214 00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:48,240 Speaker 4: No, I think a lot of people will keep baby blankets. 1215 00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:50,880 Speaker 4: But I just think it's crazy to buy a baby 1216 00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:52,040 Speaker 4: a door blanket. 1217 00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:55,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess. At the same time, it's like, if 1218 00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:56,840 Speaker 1: you're living in Dubai, It's like, why would you have 1219 00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:59,439 Speaker 1: the problem if somebody buys you the de or blanket, Right, 1220 00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:02,120 Speaker 1: It's like you're kind of already, You're kind of already 1221 00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:04,200 Speaker 1: in that world. Maybe I don't know. 1222 00:58:04,920 --> 00:58:06,800 Speaker 4: Cowbought as God says. I looked up a couple of 1223 00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:09,240 Speaker 4: der baby blankets. They were five hundred and fifty and 1224 00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:11,240 Speaker 4: five hundred and seventy dollars. 1225 00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:15,840 Speaker 1: Just buy me five future reference, if I ever have 1226 00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:19,120 Speaker 1: a kid and you consider buying a your baby blanket 1227 00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:23,000 Speaker 1: for them, buy me however much that cost in diapers. Honestly, 1228 00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:26,800 Speaker 1: just that, But there is more to this story. 1229 00:58:27,560 --> 00:58:30,440 Speaker 4: He apologized again and stated that he will discuss it 1230 00:58:30,480 --> 00:58:34,040 Speaker 4: with sister in law after feelings have been resolved. According 1231 00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:35,959 Speaker 4: to brother in law, sister in law has been acting 1232 00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:39,040 Speaker 4: as if nothing had happened, so he's also unsure when 1233 00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:41,320 Speaker 4: it is appropriate to bring the issue to the table. 1234 00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,600 Speaker 4: We ended the video chat on a positive note, and 1235 00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:47,280 Speaker 4: I promised brother in law that I would speak with 1236 00:58:47,320 --> 00:58:50,000 Speaker 4: the brothers and perhaps encourage them to contact sister in 1237 00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:52,600 Speaker 4: law to see how she's doing so she does not 1238 00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:56,000 Speaker 4: feel left out. And as for sister in law, I 1239 00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:59,080 Speaker 4: haven't spoken to her yet, and to be honest, I'm 1240 00:58:59,080 --> 00:59:01,600 Speaker 4: not sure I ever will. My husband and I have 1241 00:59:01,680 --> 00:59:04,280 Speaker 4: decided to move on from the situation and focus on 1242 00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:06,680 Speaker 4: our own lives. I believe that is all the updates 1243 00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:09,440 Speaker 4: so far, and to be honest, I could use some 1244 00:59:09,480 --> 00:59:12,560 Speaker 4: suggestions on how to fix my relationship with my sister 1245 00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:15,560 Speaker 4: in law. Should I reach out to her or something 1246 00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:18,000 Speaker 4: at the end of that, which is you know, your 1247 00:59:18,040 --> 00:59:18,640 Speaker 4: tech your tech? 1248 00:59:18,720 --> 00:59:21,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you've either one will work from the 1249 00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:23,200 Speaker 1: sound of it. It's not like this is something you're 1250 00:59:23,200 --> 00:59:25,720 Speaker 1: gonna have to deal with every week. No, she's you 1251 00:59:25,760 --> 00:59:29,920 Speaker 1: guys are literally all over the world. Yeah, so at 1252 00:59:29,920 --> 00:59:32,600 Speaker 1: some point, you guys will settle back into your own 1253 00:59:32,640 --> 00:59:35,840 Speaker 1: lives and this will become a just a distance memory, 1254 00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:39,520 Speaker 1: a faint thought. Here's johnio og Host here. We're gonna 1255 00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:40,960 Speaker 1: get back to the stories, but he's a quick three 1256 00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:44,600 Speaker 1: minute break of ass from our sponsors. My future mother 1257 00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:48,640 Speaker 1: in law keeps misinterpreting my words, so I don't want 1258 00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:50,080 Speaker 1: her at my wedding anymore. 1259 00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:53,440 Speaker 4: She's just trying to put words into your mouth and 1260 00:59:53,480 --> 00:59:54,680 Speaker 4: she's got to get out. 1261 00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:59,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly what she said. My twenty five feet 1262 01:00:00,320 --> 01:00:03,480 Speaker 1: future husband twenty nine mail and I are getting married 1263 01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:07,120 Speaker 1: next year. We had a disastrous phone call with my 1264 01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:11,080 Speaker 1: future in laws last weekend. She called me a liar, passive, aggressive, 1265 01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:15,200 Speaker 1: and patronize wood. By the way, this comes from user 1266 01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:19,040 Speaker 1: disastrous Cream two one on the r slash Okay storytime 1267 01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:22,040 Speaker 1: severed it. So why did she say all of this. 1268 01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:25,240 Speaker 1: We visited them at the end of August and she 1269 01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:27,880 Speaker 1: asked me if we had to paid a deposit for 1270 01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:33,360 Speaker 1: our elopement company. Yet, what's that? What? What's that? Elopement? 1271 01:00:33,920 --> 01:00:35,800 Speaker 1: Isn't the whole point of eloping that you don't really 1272 01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:37,440 Speaker 1: have to pay anyone or anything. You just gonna go 1273 01:00:37,520 --> 01:00:42,240 Speaker 1: get married. Anyway, I said that yes we had, but 1274 01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:44,640 Speaker 1: I did not say that we signed a contract because 1275 01:00:44,680 --> 01:00:48,600 Speaker 1: I thought that was self explanatory. This is what makes 1276 01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:51,440 Speaker 1: me a liar. She scheduled a tour at a local 1277 01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:54,200 Speaker 1: venue without asking us and dropped a bomb on us, 1278 01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:57,280 Speaker 1: saying it was scheduled the following Monday, so we had 1279 01:00:57,320 --> 01:01:00,680 Speaker 1: to stay an extra day. What we went on the 1280 01:01:00,720 --> 01:01:04,200 Speaker 1: tour to avoid being rude. This makes me passive, aggressive, 1281 01:01:04,240 --> 01:01:07,520 Speaker 1: and patronizing. She told us she would call our elopement 1282 01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:10,080 Speaker 1: company and get us out of the contract because she 1283 01:01:10,160 --> 01:01:13,560 Speaker 1: works for a law firm. We repeatedly told her we 1284 01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:16,640 Speaker 1: do not want her to do this. They had offered 1285 01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:19,200 Speaker 1: to let us use their yard for our after party 1286 01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:22,280 Speaker 1: and mentioned being concerned about her dogs barking at guests, 1287 01:01:22,640 --> 01:01:25,520 Speaker 1: so I had suggested keeping them in the large, temperature 1288 01:01:25,560 --> 01:01:29,880 Speaker 1: controlled finished basement basically a small apartment with a bedroom, kitchenet, 1289 01:01:29,920 --> 01:01:32,800 Speaker 1: and living area, but she acted like I wanted to 1290 01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:36,480 Speaker 1: lock them in a dark cellar or something. For context, 1291 01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:39,280 Speaker 1: I worked in veterinary medicine and I'm a board member 1292 01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:43,400 Speaker 1: for an animal rescue. I love animals. She yelled and 1293 01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:47,720 Speaker 1: berated me on the phone for this, despite not saying 1294 01:01:47,880 --> 01:01:52,560 Speaker 1: anything while we were there. She just seems like a problem. Yeah, mom, 1295 01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:57,040 Speaker 1: seems like a problem and a problem. Just let them elope, please. 1296 01:01:57,080 --> 01:01:59,640 Speaker 1: Why are you getting involved? They found a cold company, 1297 01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:03,640 Speaker 1: They've got the elutement company. It's set. We did not 1298 01:02:03,760 --> 01:02:06,640 Speaker 1: get a chance to discuss the miscommunication because I hadn't 1299 01:02:06,720 --> 01:02:10,200 Speaker 1: realized there was one that needed to be discussed. She 1300 01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:12,360 Speaker 1: also said that she didn't want us to have the 1301 01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:15,280 Speaker 1: party there anymore, but I refused to listen to her 1302 01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:18,640 Speaker 1: about that. I had no idea that's what she was saying. 1303 01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:21,680 Speaker 1: I thought she was talking about a problem, so I 1304 01:02:21,800 --> 01:02:25,560 Speaker 1: had suggested a solution. My future husband had to end 1305 01:02:25,600 --> 01:02:28,160 Speaker 1: the call because I was in tears. I was under 1306 01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:30,920 Speaker 1: the impression our relationship had been good until that point, 1307 01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:34,360 Speaker 1: but apparently I was wrong. My future father in law 1308 01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:37,560 Speaker 1: suggested that we take a week to cool off and 1309 01:02:37,680 --> 01:02:41,000 Speaker 1: have another call. So at the gist of this, the 1310 01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:44,520 Speaker 1: core of the issue so far is that in regards 1311 01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:47,360 Speaker 1: to like sort of planning the marriage, the elopement and 1312 01:02:47,640 --> 01:02:52,439 Speaker 1: everything going around, that Op found out that her mother 1313 01:02:52,480 --> 01:02:55,200 Speaker 1: in law kind of doesn't like her at all. Yeah, 1314 01:02:56,440 --> 01:02:58,720 Speaker 1: the reckoning with that of like why the mother in 1315 01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:01,600 Speaker 1: law is just being real nasty to Ope on the 1316 01:03:01,640 --> 01:03:05,439 Speaker 1: phone while talking about you know, the eloping, the engagement, whatever, 1317 01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:08,600 Speaker 1: and she's trying to control everything. She basically calling her 1318 01:03:08,600 --> 01:03:10,160 Speaker 1: own liar because she's like, well, you told me this 1319 01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:11,360 Speaker 1: was paid and it's not. And it's like, well it, 1320 01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:13,680 Speaker 1: for all intentsive purposes, it is because that's who we're using, 1321 01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:16,200 Speaker 1: so please don't sign a contract to pay. And then 1322 01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:18,880 Speaker 1: she's like, ah, well you just did this because you know, 1323 01:03:18,960 --> 01:03:20,960 Speaker 1: and then you signed her up for a tour like 1324 01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:22,520 Speaker 1: a day after they were supposed to leave town, so 1325 01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:25,120 Speaker 1: they they stayed a day so that you could go 1326 01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:26,640 Speaker 1: they could go on the tour of this place that 1327 01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:28,160 Speaker 1: they're probably not even going to go to, but they're 1328 01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:30,680 Speaker 1: just doing it to appease you. And then you're like, 1329 01:03:30,720 --> 01:03:32,440 Speaker 1: we are being patronizing. You didn't have to go to 1330 01:03:32,440 --> 01:03:34,440 Speaker 1: that it's like, well, I don't know, You're just trying 1331 01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:36,120 Speaker 1: to make you happy and nothing apparently can never make 1332 01:03:36,120 --> 01:03:41,280 Speaker 1: you happy. Anyways, Yeah, last night we had a second 1333 01:03:41,440 --> 01:03:45,600 Speaker 1: call with them, all four of us on speakerphone. My 1334 01:03:45,720 --> 01:03:47,920 Speaker 1: future mother in law had taken me to look at 1335 01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:50,800 Speaker 1: houses for sale in their area while we were visiting, 1336 01:03:50,880 --> 01:03:53,080 Speaker 1: as we had planned to move there after the wedding. 1337 01:03:53,720 --> 01:03:56,480 Speaker 1: While we were looking at homes, we were discussing future children, 1338 01:03:56,560 --> 01:03:59,640 Speaker 1: as we wanted to account for bedrooms needed. On the topic, 1339 01:03:59,680 --> 01:04:01,640 Speaker 1: I asked if she thought my future father in law 1340 01:04:01,680 --> 01:04:04,200 Speaker 1: would be willing to smoke outside instead of in the 1341 01:04:04,200 --> 01:04:06,880 Speaker 1: house when a future baby is in the picture, and 1342 01:04:06,960 --> 01:04:09,480 Speaker 1: mentioned that my best friend had just had a baby 1343 01:04:09,680 --> 01:04:12,720 Speaker 1: and she was suggesting vaccine protocols, so I asked her 1344 01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:17,680 Speaker 1: her thoughts on that as well. Apparently that really pissed 1345 01:04:17,680 --> 01:04:19,800 Speaker 1: them off. I probably wouldn't have brought that up with her. 1346 01:04:20,320 --> 01:04:22,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think it's just been like you're I 1347 01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,440 Speaker 4: don't know. Later I would have told the husband, like, hey, 1348 01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:26,000 Speaker 4: you died, your dad can't smoke in the house. 1349 01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:29,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's not like a would they consume 1350 01:04:29,760 --> 01:04:33,680 Speaker 1: you don't ask her about those things? Hey, baby inside house. 1351 01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:35,919 Speaker 1: You smoking outside house? Done? 1352 01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:37,760 Speaker 4: Not even if there's not a baby in the house. 1353 01:04:37,800 --> 01:04:39,600 Speaker 4: You can just be like, don't smoke inside the house. 1354 01:04:40,280 --> 01:04:42,280 Speaker 4: I don't want smokers into my house. 1355 01:04:42,320 --> 01:04:44,560 Speaker 1: Oh, if there's one thing about smokers, they don't mean 1356 01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:48,600 Speaker 1: like told what to do where that's true, seem smoke. 1357 01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:51,280 Speaker 1: I can't smoke at my house. I say, no, dog 1358 01:04:51,320 --> 01:04:52,760 Speaker 1: spoke at my house. I don't want you smoking my 1359 01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:55,640 Speaker 1: how house, don't smoking my I'm the baby. I don't 1360 01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:57,280 Speaker 1: want you to smoke at the house. The baby says, 1361 01:04:57,520 --> 01:05:00,760 Speaker 1: baby's not smoking the house. She asked about how soon 1362 01:05:00,840 --> 01:05:03,680 Speaker 1: she could see our future baby, so I told her 1363 01:05:03,840 --> 01:05:07,080 Speaker 1: I would only want my future husband in the delivery 1364 01:05:07,160 --> 01:05:10,520 Speaker 1: room and they would be welcome to visit after the arrival. 1365 01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:14,120 Speaker 1: Just so normal. Just stop ooh, don't have these conversations. 1366 01:05:14,200 --> 01:05:17,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, stop giving her honestly, stop giving her like power 1367 01:05:17,600 --> 01:05:18,520 Speaker 4: over these decisions. 1368 01:05:18,560 --> 01:05:23,400 Speaker 1: Yeah no, that's not her decision. She said she doesn't 1369 01:05:23,480 --> 01:05:26,080 Speaker 1: like hospitals, so she would likely wait until we were home. 1370 01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:29,880 Speaker 1: All normal and upbeat conversations, no mention of being offended 1371 01:05:30,040 --> 01:05:33,680 Speaker 1: at all. During the call, she brought up these topics 1372 01:05:33,720 --> 01:05:36,040 Speaker 1: and said, I'm already making rules to follow for a 1373 01:05:36,120 --> 01:05:39,200 Speaker 1: hypothetical baby, and I uninvited them from the hospital. You 1374 01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:42,320 Speaker 1: said you didn't want to be at the hospital. This 1375 01:05:42,320 --> 01:05:46,840 Speaker 1: this woman sucks. Oh my gosh's exhausted. Just don't talk 1376 01:05:46,880 --> 01:05:50,520 Speaker 1: to her. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. I tried to explain 1377 01:05:50,560 --> 01:05:52,680 Speaker 1: that that is certainly not what I meant, and that 1378 01:05:52,800 --> 01:05:56,320 Speaker 1: I was sorry for the miscommunication. She said, it doesn't 1379 01:05:56,360 --> 01:05:58,680 Speaker 1: matter what I meant. It matters how the other person 1380 01:05:58,720 --> 01:05:59,720 Speaker 1: perceives what is said. 1381 01:06:00,520 --> 01:06:04,800 Speaker 4: It's like, what, what's crazy? 1382 01:06:05,120 --> 01:06:10,800 Speaker 1: That's crazy. I apologized again, and she cut me off. 1383 01:06:11,320 --> 01:06:13,760 Speaker 1: She then said we aren't good at communication and said 1384 01:06:13,760 --> 01:06:16,880 Speaker 1: it's because I don't have a family, so I must 1385 01:06:16,920 --> 01:06:24,200 Speaker 1: not know how to behave in one whoa whoa, whoa? 1386 01:06:24,960 --> 01:06:27,880 Speaker 1: Where is the husband? You are letting your mom go. 1387 01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:32,400 Speaker 1: Your mom is talking a whole lot, and she should. 1388 01:06:32,560 --> 01:06:36,000 Speaker 1: Your mom is going to death. Con five nuclear launch 1389 01:06:36,240 --> 01:06:42,040 Speaker 1: codes happening, The missiles are flying and they're they're smacking 1390 01:06:42,080 --> 01:06:42,560 Speaker 1: your wife. 1391 01:06:42,720 --> 01:06:42,919 Speaker 2: Yeah. 1392 01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:45,120 Speaker 1: Oh. He was like, hey, what do you think? And 1393 01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:48,800 Speaker 1: she was like, release oh, missus, what do you think? 1394 01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:50,800 Speaker 1: And the mother in law is like, I think you're 1395 01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:54,480 Speaker 1: a stupid orphan who doesn't know how to act that. Meanwhile, 1396 01:06:54,480 --> 01:06:58,720 Speaker 1: the husband's like if you guys tried this dip my god. Okay, 1397 01:06:58,800 --> 01:07:01,760 Speaker 1: my mother died six years ago and I do not 1398 01:07:01,840 --> 01:07:05,040 Speaker 1: speak to my father, so this was offensive to say 1399 01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:07,080 Speaker 1: the least. I told them I would be happy to 1400 01:07:07,160 --> 01:07:09,440 Speaker 1: update them on anything related to the wedding and asked 1401 01:07:09,440 --> 01:07:12,560 Speaker 1: how much detail they wanted. She said I don't have 1402 01:07:12,640 --> 01:07:14,720 Speaker 1: to tell her anything because it's clear I don't want 1403 01:07:14,760 --> 01:07:18,000 Speaker 1: her help. She also said they were planning to help 1404 01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:20,840 Speaker 1: pay for a different venue since they felt bad about 1405 01:07:20,880 --> 01:07:24,480 Speaker 1: saying the yard was no longer available due to the dogs, 1406 01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:28,439 Speaker 1: but because of our actions. Because of our actions, she's 1407 01:07:28,440 --> 01:07:33,080 Speaker 1: no longer offering assistance. We've never asked for it or 1408 01:07:33,240 --> 01:07:34,080 Speaker 1: expected money. 1409 01:07:34,200 --> 01:07:36,520 Speaker 4: I was gonna say, aren't they doing like the they're 1410 01:07:36,560 --> 01:07:37,280 Speaker 4: doing the elopement. 1411 01:07:37,440 --> 01:07:42,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, we don't want your assistance. She's like, yeah, 1412 01:07:42,040 --> 01:07:45,120 Speaker 1: they're like, we don't. We don't want your backyard. Use it. 1413 01:07:45,160 --> 01:07:47,760 Speaker 1: Then we'll, well, we'll do something else because we never 1414 01:07:47,840 --> 01:07:51,040 Speaker 1: wanted it. Another point of contention is my father in 1415 01:07:51,120 --> 01:07:54,360 Speaker 1: law's health. He's in heart failure and was worried he 1416 01:07:54,360 --> 01:07:58,240 Speaker 1: couldn't participate in the elopement at a waterfall, so we 1417 01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:01,520 Speaker 1: changed the location to a park that does not require 1418 01:08:01,600 --> 01:08:05,080 Speaker 1: walking or hiking sick. Well, I mean, hey, well, that's 1419 01:08:05,160 --> 01:08:06,840 Speaker 1: nice of you that, that's very nice of you, And 1420 01:08:07,480 --> 01:08:10,400 Speaker 1: he sounds like maybe he's not quite as much of 1421 01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:14,960 Speaker 1: a beast as the mother in law. It's also wheelchair accessible, 1422 01:08:15,040 --> 01:08:17,320 Speaker 1: and I told them that we made this accommodation, and 1423 01:08:17,400 --> 01:08:20,559 Speaker 1: my father in law, sorry my future mother in law, 1424 01:08:20,640 --> 01:08:23,960 Speaker 1: continues to insist that by choosing to elope, we don't 1425 01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:28,240 Speaker 1: want them there, which was never the case. We specifically 1426 01:08:28,320 --> 01:08:30,559 Speaker 1: said that having them there was important to us, and 1427 01:08:30,640 --> 01:08:35,040 Speaker 1: we accommodated their concerns with the ada accessible location. But 1428 01:08:35,120 --> 01:08:37,880 Speaker 1: now we don't want you there. We don't want your father. 1429 01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:41,000 Speaker 1: The father in law can come, Yeah, you should stay home. 1430 01:08:41,120 --> 01:08:44,519 Speaker 1: Father in law with his soft heart, with his soft heart, 1431 01:08:44,680 --> 01:08:47,800 Speaker 1: he can come, is lovely father in law. At this point, 1432 01:08:47,880 --> 01:08:50,120 Speaker 1: I was totally fit up and said we would let 1433 01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:53,000 Speaker 1: them know the location, the date and the time, and 1434 01:08:53,120 --> 01:08:55,360 Speaker 1: if they would like to be there, they're welcome to come. 1435 01:08:55,760 --> 01:08:58,160 Speaker 1: If they don't want to come, they don't have to. 1436 01:08:58,800 --> 01:09:01,120 Speaker 1: This caused both of them to blow up and yell 1437 01:09:01,160 --> 01:09:04,160 Speaker 1: at us. They also claimed that we say we're coming 1438 01:09:04,160 --> 01:09:08,519 Speaker 1: to visit them, then backtrack and cancel. That has literally 1439 01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:11,320 Speaker 1: never happened. The first time I met them was Thanksgiving. 1440 01:09:11,520 --> 01:09:14,840 Speaker 1: We went to dinner and drove home, which we went 1441 01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:17,000 Speaker 1: for dinner and drove home, which is a total of 1442 01:09:17,120 --> 01:09:19,720 Speaker 1: nine hours of driving. By the way, we were a 1443 01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:22,360 Speaker 1: bit late due to holiday traffic and told them that 1444 01:09:22,400 --> 01:09:24,559 Speaker 1: we wouldn't be able to stay the night because we 1445 01:09:24,640 --> 01:09:30,160 Speaker 1: had a sick cat at home. This apparently ruined Thanksgiving. Ah. 1446 01:09:30,200 --> 01:09:33,080 Speaker 1: On Christmas, we stayed three nights, but had to leave 1447 01:09:33,120 --> 01:09:36,000 Speaker 1: after lunch the last day to get home to the 1448 01:09:36,080 --> 01:09:39,479 Speaker 1: cats due to the pet sitter availability. So they had 1449 01:09:39,479 --> 01:09:41,920 Speaker 1: to leave a little bit early because they had to 1450 01:09:41,960 --> 01:09:44,719 Speaker 1: take care of their pets. Yeah, normal, and which apparently 1451 01:09:44,760 --> 01:09:49,639 Speaker 1: ruined Christmas. Christmas, Hi, you're two for two rooms. Wait 1452 01:09:49,680 --> 01:09:52,960 Speaker 1: to go carefree your pets. We stayed with them again 1453 01:09:53,160 --> 01:09:56,160 Speaker 1: for Easter and had a great conversation going, so we 1454 01:09:56,320 --> 01:09:58,080 Speaker 1: asked if it would be okay for us to stay 1455 01:09:58,120 --> 01:10:01,479 Speaker 1: a bit later than expected that day. They said of course, 1456 01:10:02,560 --> 01:10:06,360 Speaker 1: and we kept chatting, but apparently we should have left 1457 01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:08,520 Speaker 1: after brunch, like of course. 1458 01:10:08,200 --> 01:10:11,799 Speaker 4: And they're like, you ruin the East time and leave 1459 01:10:12,520 --> 01:10:14,960 Speaker 4: they ruined, Thanks Skippy, they're all the sty They're ruined 1460 01:10:15,040 --> 01:10:18,360 Speaker 4: Christmas and they think they can just do the trilogy. 1461 01:10:17,920 --> 01:10:21,320 Speaker 1: And ruin East to two. You are three for three, yes, 1462 01:10:21,400 --> 01:10:23,280 Speaker 1: and we will let them do it because we don't 1463 01:10:23,360 --> 01:10:24,920 Speaker 1: like to talk about the issues we have. We like 1464 01:10:24,960 --> 01:10:28,560 Speaker 1: to let to let them seethe beneath the surface, and 1465 01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:30,320 Speaker 1: then we bring them out at the next album. It's 1466 01:10:30,360 --> 01:10:32,400 Speaker 1: convenient for us. We like to tell you about the 1467 01:10:32,400 --> 01:10:34,920 Speaker 1: things that we perceive you have done wrong. Yeah, these 1468 01:10:34,960 --> 01:10:38,080 Speaker 1: people are exhausting, especially the mother in law, but siring 1469 01:10:38,120 --> 01:10:40,240 Speaker 1: me out, man, I don't want to hear about it. 1470 01:10:40,520 --> 01:10:41,800 Speaker 1: But you know what I want to hear about. I 1471 01:10:41,880 --> 01:10:44,200 Speaker 1: want to hear about you joining us when we go 1472 01:10:44,360 --> 01:10:50,719 Speaker 1: live every weekday at three pm PST on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, Twitch. 1473 01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:53,160 Speaker 1: All you gotta do is tap our profile and you 1474 01:10:53,200 --> 01:10:56,439 Speaker 1: can join the live And if you're watching this right now, 1475 01:10:56,880 --> 01:10:58,960 Speaker 1: we might just be live right now. Just go ahead 1476 01:10:58,960 --> 01:11:01,400 Speaker 1: and give it a check. I'm exhausted by these people. 1477 01:11:02,280 --> 01:11:05,800 Speaker 1: Your your move is, here's the date, here's the time, 1478 01:11:06,240 --> 01:11:08,960 Speaker 1: here's the location, show up or don't. Yeah. 1479 01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:13,400 Speaker 4: The thing is that he's been going so high and 1480 01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:16,479 Speaker 4: and these people just keep going lower. Yeah, it's like, uh, 1481 01:11:16,680 --> 01:11:20,200 Speaker 4: it's like one of those graphs. You guys are are like, 1482 01:11:20,240 --> 01:11:23,040 Speaker 4: you're going this way, and she started, she's going that way, 1483 01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:25,760 Speaker 4: and you guys are just like you met once and 1484 01:11:25,800 --> 01:11:27,120 Speaker 4: then you're just you know, going in the. 1485 01:11:27,120 --> 01:11:31,160 Speaker 1: Opposite economic graph. Yeah, yeah, isn't that how to express 1486 01:11:31,200 --> 01:11:33,599 Speaker 1: supply and demand? That's yeah, that's what's going on here, 1487 01:11:33,640 --> 01:11:37,160 Speaker 1: and the blind demand meet. We want, uh, there is 1488 01:11:37,240 --> 01:11:39,160 Speaker 1: no demand for you, and we would like your supply 1489 01:11:39,240 --> 01:11:41,120 Speaker 1: to be zero. We want that supply demand cur to 1490 01:11:41,120 --> 01:11:44,200 Speaker 1: be flat for you mother in law and father in 1491 01:11:44,280 --> 01:11:47,280 Speaker 1: law at this point, because it's like you literally switched 1492 01:11:47,280 --> 01:11:50,840 Speaker 1: to the venue from a waterfall to a park, which 1493 01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:56,080 Speaker 1: that's a downgrade. I don't want to hear it. And you, kindly, 1494 01:11:56,120 --> 01:11:58,400 Speaker 1: it was a very kind thing to do, yes, for 1495 01:11:58,479 --> 01:12:02,320 Speaker 1: this soft hearted lovely for the time with the father 1496 01:12:02,400 --> 01:12:06,639 Speaker 1: in law in cardiac failure. That was kind of you. Yeah, 1497 01:12:06,640 --> 01:12:11,280 Speaker 1: but then he's gonna be like, actually, no, you guys suck. 1498 01:12:11,760 --> 01:12:13,519 Speaker 1: But you guys are just gonna tell us where and 1499 01:12:13,560 --> 01:12:16,240 Speaker 1: when to be Well, let's let's get into the tail 1500 01:12:16,320 --> 01:12:18,120 Speaker 1: end of this year. Let's let's see how this happened. 1501 01:12:18,640 --> 01:12:23,880 Speaker 1: My future husband was so angry, he was shaking, trying 1502 01:12:23,960 --> 01:12:27,320 Speaker 1: to hold back words he might regret. So there's the 1503 01:12:27,400 --> 01:12:32,439 Speaker 1: husband right there. He's shaking, shaking and anger. My future 1504 01:12:32,479 --> 01:12:35,160 Speaker 1: mother in law is saying everything I've said has a 1505 01:12:35,200 --> 01:12:39,599 Speaker 1: double meaning because she's an English major and she knows tone. Yo. 1506 01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:42,439 Speaker 1: Shout out to all the English teachers slash majors who 1507 01:12:42,439 --> 01:12:45,920 Speaker 1: are literally they invent meaning out of nothing. I remember 1508 01:12:46,000 --> 01:12:48,519 Speaker 1: I watched a thing on the guy. I'm getting on 1509 01:12:48,840 --> 01:12:51,439 Speaker 1: a tangent here, but it's like the you know, the author, 1510 01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:54,240 Speaker 1: like being interviewed by like a professor, being like, yeah, 1511 01:12:54,280 --> 01:12:56,040 Speaker 1: so I noticed that you did this and that and 1512 01:12:56,080 --> 01:12:58,160 Speaker 1: this and that, and the author's just like, I didn't 1513 01:12:58,200 --> 01:13:00,800 Speaker 1: do any of that. I just wrote that book. Maybe 1514 01:13:00,840 --> 01:13:03,800 Speaker 1: the worst you're doing that. I have told her I've 1515 01:13:03,840 --> 01:13:07,599 Speaker 1: meant everything I've said as earnestly as I had said it, 1516 01:13:07,680 --> 01:13:11,160 Speaker 1: but she again circled back to saying it doesn't matter 1517 01:13:11,200 --> 01:13:15,639 Speaker 1: what I meant, it matters how it was set. I said, okay, 1518 01:13:15,960 --> 01:13:18,639 Speaker 1: I'm a psychology major. I don't see what our degrees 1519 01:13:18,680 --> 01:13:21,800 Speaker 1: have to do with this. Yeah, cycle analyze her. This 1520 01:13:21,920 --> 01:13:25,439 Speaker 1: apparently totally pissed her off, and she went off again. 1521 01:13:26,280 --> 01:13:28,000 Speaker 1: I told her it would be best to end the 1522 01:13:28,040 --> 01:13:30,519 Speaker 1: call here because my future husband is so upset. He's 1523 01:13:30,560 --> 01:13:34,400 Speaker 1: shaking and unable to speak. She said, quote, we hope 1524 01:13:34,439 --> 01:13:37,280 Speaker 1: we still get to see you at Thanksgiving, and I said, 1525 01:13:37,479 --> 01:13:39,120 Speaker 1: have a good evening and hung up. 1526 01:13:39,400 --> 01:13:43,479 Speaker 4: Ohf he is so like pleasant, like, seems like such 1527 01:13:43,640 --> 01:13:46,920 Speaker 4: the nicest person. Yeah, just to be treated this way 1528 01:13:46,920 --> 01:13:48,320 Speaker 4: as well. 1529 01:13:48,360 --> 01:13:51,240 Speaker 1: I wish you would have just let your your husband 1530 01:13:51,680 --> 01:13:55,879 Speaker 1: future husband jump in. He was shaking with rage, shaking. 1531 01:13:55,920 --> 01:13:58,800 Speaker 1: You gotta let him get that out to some level. Yeah, 1532 01:13:58,920 --> 01:14:02,040 Speaker 1: let him out a chihuahua. My future husband and I 1533 01:14:02,439 --> 01:14:05,120 Speaker 1: are on the same page. I will not be attending 1534 01:14:05,160 --> 01:14:08,439 Speaker 1: future holidays or events since it's very clear everything I 1535 01:14:08,439 --> 01:14:11,880 Speaker 1: say is misinterpreted and weaponized when it's convenient for them. 1536 01:14:12,280 --> 01:14:14,439 Speaker 1: He's welcome to visit for holidays if he wants to. 1537 01:14:14,600 --> 01:14:17,240 Speaker 1: I don't mind. I do not want my future mother 1538 01:14:17,240 --> 01:14:19,960 Speaker 1: in law at our elopement because she will just ruin 1539 01:14:20,080 --> 01:14:23,360 Speaker 1: our day. We're going to be asking our elopement company 1540 01:14:23,400 --> 01:14:27,040 Speaker 1: to remove her from the guest list. So Reddit, am 1541 01:14:27,080 --> 01:14:30,800 Speaker 1: I the a hole? No? Nope, You've been like the 1542 01:14:30,880 --> 01:14:35,599 Speaker 1: angel throughout this whole story. Yeah, literally, like every angel 1543 01:14:35,600 --> 01:14:36,519 Speaker 1: baby move you could. 1544 01:14:36,720 --> 01:14:39,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, like if you if we placed you in all 1545 01:14:39,320 --> 01:14:42,759 Speaker 4: of these other stories, you would have. You know, if 1546 01:14:42,800 --> 01:14:45,639 Speaker 4: someone throughout your your wedding dress in the in the garbage, 1547 01:14:45,680 --> 01:14:46,160 Speaker 4: you'd be like. 1548 01:14:46,120 --> 01:14:50,120 Speaker 1: Hey, like, I'm like you do that? Also, you know 1549 01:14:50,240 --> 01:14:52,320 Speaker 1: you want to wear it? Yeah? She probably would have 1550 01:14:52,360 --> 01:14:53,720 Speaker 1: just said that from the very beginning. Do you want 1551 01:14:53,720 --> 01:14:56,519 Speaker 1: to wear it? Sure? Yeah, I'll buy it for you. 1552 01:14:56,920 --> 01:14:57,120 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1553 01:14:57,160 --> 01:14:59,160 Speaker 1: If your sister started pulling your hair, you'd be like, 1554 01:14:59,560 --> 01:15:01,960 Speaker 1: you're right. I was mean, you know what, let me 1555 01:15:02,000 --> 01:15:03,559 Speaker 1: get out of the kitchen. Let me just get out 1556 01:15:03,560 --> 01:15:04,839 Speaker 1: of the kitchen. It's your kitchen. 1557 01:15:04,920 --> 01:15:08,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, you're not the ahole, you were an angel. 1558 01:15:08,320 --> 01:15:14,280 Speaker 1: No, definitely. H I kicked my neglectful brother in law 1559 01:15:14,400 --> 01:15:17,719 Speaker 1: out of the estate. We bought it and his family 1560 01:15:17,720 --> 01:15:20,719 Speaker 1: can't do anything about it. Brother, you may not stay 1561 01:15:20,760 --> 01:15:23,599 Speaker 1: here no longer. They really did hit him with that. 1562 01:15:24,160 --> 01:15:28,360 Speaker 1: My thirty two male husband and I twenty nine female 1563 01:15:28,840 --> 01:15:33,000 Speaker 1: purchased his grandparents estate after both grandparents passed away and 1564 01:15:33,080 --> 01:15:36,840 Speaker 1: he did not inherit it. The family chose to sell 1565 01:15:36,880 --> 01:15:41,760 Speaker 1: the entire estate without claiming or removing any property. By 1566 01:15:41,760 --> 01:15:44,679 Speaker 1: the way, this comes from user Pigpin nine to one 1567 01:15:44,920 --> 01:15:49,519 Speaker 1: on the r slash Okay storytime sebredit. So the estate 1568 01:15:49,600 --> 01:15:52,360 Speaker 1: was left to the family to receive equal shares amongst 1569 01:15:52,439 --> 01:15:56,360 Speaker 1: two children and four grandchildren, including my husband. The family 1570 01:15:56,479 --> 01:15:59,120 Speaker 1: chose to sell and receive the money in equal shares. 1571 01:15:59,320 --> 01:16:02,760 Speaker 1: My husband and I chose to purchase the estate. Dang, 1572 01:16:02,800 --> 01:16:06,599 Speaker 1: good for you guys, a state owners over here. Got 1573 01:16:06,640 --> 01:16:10,360 Speaker 1: that chicken money, all right, the big chicken money. My 1574 01:16:10,720 --> 01:16:13,240 Speaker 1: thirty three male brother in law was living in the 1575 01:16:13,280 --> 01:16:15,960 Speaker 1: house as his grandparents had agreed to help him get 1576 01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:19,240 Speaker 1: on his feet after the breakup with his child's mother. 1577 01:16:20,320 --> 01:16:23,559 Speaker 1: He had substance abuse issues and has been unemployed since 1578 01:16:23,600 --> 01:16:26,080 Speaker 1: the birth of his child. His child's mother supported him 1579 01:16:26,080 --> 01:16:29,000 Speaker 1: before they broke up a year ago. We agreed to 1580 01:16:29,040 --> 01:16:31,759 Speaker 1: allow him to stay if he contributed to the monthly 1581 01:16:31,800 --> 01:16:34,080 Speaker 1: bills and got up to care for his child and 1582 01:16:34,120 --> 01:16:37,720 Speaker 1: his pets, rather than leaving that responsibility to whoever was 1583 01:16:37,760 --> 01:16:40,719 Speaker 1: awake or home. And if no one was awake or home, 1584 01:16:40,880 --> 01:16:45,320 Speaker 1: his three year old was left unattended. Oh now that's 1585 01:16:45,360 --> 01:16:47,280 Speaker 1: called criminal negligence. 1586 01:16:47,360 --> 01:16:49,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what not to do as a parent. Won 1587 01:16:49,720 --> 01:16:52,439 Speaker 3: a one book. Yeah, seems like they didn't read. 1588 01:16:52,280 --> 01:16:57,599 Speaker 1: It, he refused. Oh wow, you just outright was like, nah, 1589 01:16:58,280 --> 01:17:01,160 Speaker 1: I'll better myself as a person or father. No, I 1590 01:17:01,160 --> 01:17:03,080 Speaker 1: don't think I'll be doing that. I told him he 1591 01:17:03,160 --> 01:17:06,120 Speaker 1: needed to move out, and he refused to move out. 1592 01:17:06,880 --> 01:17:09,799 Speaker 1: I made it clear that it was not an option. 1593 01:17:10,680 --> 01:17:14,120 Speaker 1: I packed all of his and his child's things oh no, 1594 01:17:14,439 --> 01:17:17,040 Speaker 1: and moved them out of the bedroom he was staying 1595 01:17:17,080 --> 01:17:20,400 Speaker 1: in to the garage. Maybe you don't kick the kid. 1596 01:17:20,240 --> 01:17:22,559 Speaker 2: Out though, Yeah, that's a tough one. 1597 01:17:23,400 --> 01:17:26,559 Speaker 1: I don't know. My husband's family then informed me that 1598 01:17:26,760 --> 01:17:30,200 Speaker 1: was not my place and I have no right. His 1599 01:17:30,240 --> 01:17:32,680 Speaker 1: mother showed up unannounced to our house to find I 1600 01:17:32,720 --> 01:17:35,400 Speaker 1: had cleaned out his other uh cleaned out other rooms 1601 01:17:35,400 --> 01:17:38,240 Speaker 1: in the house, and she and two other family members 1602 01:17:38,280 --> 01:17:40,960 Speaker 1: informed me I would not be going through moving or 1603 01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:43,040 Speaker 1: getting rid of anything in the home as it belongs 1604 01:17:43,040 --> 01:17:47,080 Speaker 1: to their parents slash grandparents and it was not my place. Uh, 1605 01:17:47,120 --> 01:17:47,479 Speaker 1: I don't know. 1606 01:17:47,760 --> 01:17:49,400 Speaker 2: Did you check the deed of the house? 1607 01:17:49,479 --> 01:17:53,280 Speaker 1: Yeahs when I go that's funny because I feel like 1608 01:17:53,320 --> 01:17:55,280 Speaker 1: I bought the place. Oh my gosh, whose name is 1609 01:17:55,320 --> 01:18:00,600 Speaker 1: ahead mine? Remember how you guys all had the ability 1610 01:18:00,640 --> 01:18:05,320 Speaker 1: to literally pick and choose whatever in the estate would 1611 01:18:05,320 --> 01:18:08,479 Speaker 1: belong to who, But y'all all decided on getting rid 1612 01:18:08,520 --> 01:18:12,000 Speaker 1: of the whole thing and taking the cash. So the 1613 01:18:12,000 --> 01:18:14,360 Speaker 1: one who gave you the cash. That was us. 1614 01:18:14,760 --> 01:18:16,760 Speaker 2: It was me and my husband, But it seems like 1615 01:18:16,760 --> 01:18:17,360 Speaker 2: that forgot that. 1616 01:18:17,880 --> 01:18:20,559 Speaker 1: So we kind of own everything in the estate now 1617 01:18:21,240 --> 01:18:24,960 Speaker 1: because we paid you for it. Remember. I responded by 1618 01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:28,840 Speaker 1: saying they were welcome to ask for anything specific that 1619 01:18:28,880 --> 01:18:32,040 Speaker 1: they regret selling with the estate, but this is my 1620 01:18:32,200 --> 01:18:36,439 Speaker 1: home and I will do whatever I want. They asked 1621 01:18:36,479 --> 01:18:38,880 Speaker 1: that I give them the time to come and go 1622 01:18:39,360 --> 01:18:43,599 Speaker 1: through things themselves, to which I said, no, if it's 1623 01:18:43,600 --> 01:18:46,200 Speaker 1: not garbage, it will be placed in storage until everything 1624 01:18:46,200 --> 01:18:48,519 Speaker 1: has been gone through and my husband has kept what 1625 01:18:48,560 --> 01:18:51,640 Speaker 1: he wants and the rest will be sold or donated. 1626 01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:55,040 Speaker 1: At that time, they are free to go through things. 1627 01:18:55,160 --> 01:18:58,320 Speaker 1: I explained that they would not be contacting any other 1628 01:18:58,400 --> 01:19:01,600 Speaker 1: person who purchased the estate, and it is ridiculous that 1629 01:19:01,600 --> 01:19:05,439 Speaker 1: they feel comfortable contacting me with demands. Yeah, basically being 1630 01:19:05,479 --> 01:19:09,160 Speaker 1: like if it wasn't if it wasn't us and your son, 1631 01:19:09,400 --> 01:19:11,559 Speaker 1: or like, if we weren't the ones who bought the estate, 1632 01:19:11,720 --> 01:19:14,200 Speaker 1: would you be calling whoever bought it? Being like, actually, 1633 01:19:14,200 --> 01:19:16,960 Speaker 1: you guys aren't allowed to touch anything, and that's all 1634 01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:19,400 Speaker 1: our stuff. It's like, no, no, you would have done that. 1635 01:19:19,560 --> 01:19:22,960 Speaker 1: After I refuse to acknowledge their feelings. Quote unquote, they 1636 01:19:23,000 --> 01:19:25,479 Speaker 1: attempted to have my husband confront me and for him 1637 01:19:25,479 --> 01:19:30,600 Speaker 1: to stop allowing me to be so disrespectful. My husband's response, 1638 01:19:31,200 --> 01:19:35,800 Speaker 1: I cannot control her, and this is our home. So 1639 01:19:35,960 --> 01:19:41,320 Speaker 1: am I the a hole? I mean no, I think 1640 01:19:41,360 --> 01:19:46,040 Speaker 1: that there is a way where it's like, I think 1641 01:19:46,080 --> 01:19:49,240 Speaker 1: we might be missing a little key piece of information here, 1642 01:19:49,760 --> 01:19:52,679 Speaker 1: and I think it might have been an unexpected thing 1643 01:19:52,840 --> 01:19:56,000 Speaker 1: for them to buy the estate outright, right, I think 1644 01:19:56,040 --> 01:20:00,519 Speaker 1: the whole estate got sold them included yeah right, and 1645 01:20:00,560 --> 01:20:02,920 Speaker 1: then they went after that later and we're like, I 1646 01:20:02,920 --> 01:20:05,640 Speaker 1: mean it's like, I mean, we're just I don't know 1647 01:20:05,640 --> 01:20:07,479 Speaker 1: how that works. I've never been in a position to 1648 01:20:07,479 --> 01:20:10,080 Speaker 1: buy or sell in the state. I'm not really familiar 1649 01:20:10,280 --> 01:20:12,759 Speaker 1: with how the process works. But I got to assume 1650 01:20:12,800 --> 01:20:15,200 Speaker 1: that it was a surprise that they bought it, or 1651 01:20:15,240 --> 01:20:17,559 Speaker 1: they would have gone through all that stuff and been like, 1652 01:20:17,680 --> 01:20:18,960 Speaker 1: we want to keep this, we want to get rid 1653 01:20:19,000 --> 01:20:22,920 Speaker 1: of that, yeah right, Or I don't know. All I 1654 01:20:22,920 --> 01:20:24,400 Speaker 1: can think about is missing here. 1655 01:20:24,479 --> 01:20:27,679 Speaker 3: Give the husband the Award of the Year because dude, 1656 01:20:27,720 --> 01:20:31,040 Speaker 3: that comment, Oh my gosh, I cannot control her. 1657 01:20:31,360 --> 01:20:32,120 Speaker 2: This is our home. 1658 01:20:32,320 --> 01:20:32,639 Speaker 1: Dude. 1659 01:20:32,760 --> 01:20:36,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, dude to his own family. Come on, w husband, 1660 01:20:37,000 --> 01:20:38,599 Speaker 3: I see him, I see him in the comments. I'm 1661 01:20:38,600 --> 01:20:41,240 Speaker 3: not going to be like, yeah, he really did. That 1662 01:20:41,320 --> 01:20:44,599 Speaker 3: was the most perfect statement he would have said. I'm 1663 01:20:44,600 --> 01:20:47,840 Speaker 3: not telling her how to be. It's our house. She 1664 01:20:47,920 --> 01:20:50,640 Speaker 3: can be however she wants. It's our house. Brother in 1665 01:20:50,760 --> 01:20:54,360 Speaker 3: law is on state assistance. Oh wait, oh my god, 1666 01:20:54,880 --> 01:20:57,880 Speaker 3: the whole brother in law is. She completely left my brain. 1667 01:20:58,520 --> 01:21:01,439 Speaker 1: Brother in law is on state assistance, so the Department 1668 01:21:01,479 --> 01:21:05,080 Speaker 1: of Family Services is already aware of their situation. All 1669 01:21:05,120 --> 01:21:09,280 Speaker 1: involved grandparents, brother in law's mother, and the child's mother's 1670 01:21:09,360 --> 01:21:12,400 Speaker 1: parents are aware of the situation as well. When the 1671 01:21:12,520 --> 01:21:15,320 Speaker 1: child's mother spoke with us, she stated, she works and 1672 01:21:15,360 --> 01:21:18,400 Speaker 1: the baby has always been with dad, and dad has custody, 1673 01:21:18,439 --> 01:21:21,479 Speaker 1: so what is she supposed to do? I guess that's fair. 1674 01:21:22,040 --> 01:21:26,040 Speaker 1: The child's mother has also had substance abuse issues. Both 1675 01:21:26,120 --> 01:21:30,960 Speaker 1: parents are booziks and to use THHC substances, which are 1676 01:21:31,120 --> 01:21:35,400 Speaker 1: legal in this state. We cannot confirm the use of 1677 01:21:35,439 --> 01:21:39,400 Speaker 1: other substances. Brother in law moved in about three months 1678 01:21:39,479 --> 01:21:43,680 Speaker 1: prior to grandparents both being gone. The estate was in 1679 01:21:43,720 --> 01:21:48,960 Speaker 1: probate and on the market. For nine months, and we 1680 01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:52,439 Speaker 1: paid market price, no family discount. My husband lived with 1681 01:21:52,479 --> 01:21:55,360 Speaker 1: his grandparents from seven years old until he was twenty 1682 01:21:55,439 --> 01:21:58,679 Speaker 1: seven years old when we moved in together. One day 1683 01:21:58,720 --> 01:22:00,960 Speaker 1: a week we had dinner with his grandparents at their 1684 01:22:00,960 --> 01:22:03,320 Speaker 1: home to check on them and spend some time with them. 1685 01:22:03,960 --> 01:22:06,360 Speaker 1: The rest of the family live in other towns thirty 1686 01:22:06,360 --> 01:22:09,519 Speaker 1: minutes to an hour away. My husband works outside of 1687 01:22:09,560 --> 01:22:12,400 Speaker 1: the home and I work at home. We also have 1688 01:22:12,479 --> 01:22:15,280 Speaker 1: three children, my twelve year old male child from a 1689 01:22:15,360 --> 01:22:18,880 Speaker 1: previous relationship, and they all have to have their own 1690 01:22:19,000 --> 01:22:20,559 Speaker 1: space in our home. 1691 01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:24,840 Speaker 3: Okay, okay, noted, So you were closer to the grandparents 1692 01:22:25,200 --> 01:22:28,000 Speaker 3: than the other family members. Yeah, we got some contact 1693 01:22:28,080 --> 01:22:29,920 Speaker 3: with the brother. Yeah, and it seems like brother in 1694 01:22:30,040 --> 01:22:30,599 Speaker 3: law the. 1695 01:22:30,560 --> 01:22:32,439 Speaker 1: Other brother in law just moved in here out of convenience. 1696 01:22:33,000 --> 01:22:35,439 Speaker 1: At the tail end of the yeah, things were not 1697 01:22:35,520 --> 01:22:37,320 Speaker 1: going right. Yeah, and they're like, we'll let you get 1698 01:22:37,320 --> 01:22:40,280 Speaker 1: on your feet here. We have another edit. We kept 1699 01:22:40,360 --> 01:22:43,240 Speaker 1: brother in law's pets as he is unable to care 1700 01:22:43,280 --> 01:22:45,439 Speaker 1: for them, and offered to have the child stay with 1701 01:22:45,520 --> 01:22:50,240 Speaker 1: us while the parents decide what to do. Both parents said, no, 1702 01:22:51,280 --> 01:22:53,360 Speaker 1: I do not agree with the family dynamics. Of my 1703 01:22:53,439 --> 01:22:56,280 Speaker 1: husband's family. That's not to say that I don't like them, 1704 01:22:56,320 --> 01:23:00,000 Speaker 1: but they enable one another and their child, my husband included, 1705 01:23:00,560 --> 01:23:04,519 Speaker 1: to act irresponsibly and irrationally. They had nine months to 1706 01:23:04,560 --> 01:23:07,840 Speaker 1: claim items they wanted, and after we purchased, they had 1707 01:23:07,920 --> 01:23:11,400 Speaker 1: forty five days to go through things again. Anything that 1708 01:23:11,520 --> 01:23:14,920 Speaker 1: is not literally garbage or unusable or in need of 1709 01:23:14,960 --> 01:23:18,479 Speaker 1: extensive repair is in storage to be gone through for 1710 01:23:18,600 --> 01:23:22,479 Speaker 1: sale and donation. And we have now an. 1711 01:23:22,400 --> 01:23:26,920 Speaker 3: Update, and the family it's just kind of like, ah, 1712 01:23:27,000 --> 01:23:29,080 Speaker 3: he's fine, let him do what he wants. 1713 01:23:29,160 --> 01:23:31,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, enabling it. Yeah, They're like, don't you don't have 1714 01:23:31,920 --> 01:23:36,479 Speaker 1: the right, And it's like, actually, as the homeowner, I 1715 01:23:36,600 --> 01:23:39,120 Speaker 1: do have the right to decide who gets to stay 1716 01:23:39,160 --> 01:23:39,840 Speaker 1: in my house. 1717 01:23:40,120 --> 01:23:45,519 Speaker 3: Yeah. I honestly might be talking to the husband about 1718 01:23:45,520 --> 01:23:48,719 Speaker 3: going low contact with his family because it doesn't seem 1719 01:23:48,720 --> 01:23:50,880 Speaker 3: like they're tight in the first place. Yeah, and they're 1720 01:23:50,880 --> 01:23:54,240 Speaker 3: allowing this kind of like behavior to go on. 1721 01:23:54,479 --> 01:23:57,880 Speaker 1: I mean, look, I get like, there's we all have 1722 01:23:57,920 --> 01:24:00,000 Speaker 1: our ups and downs, our peaks and valleys, and it's like, 1723 01:24:00,160 --> 01:24:02,800 Speaker 1: clearly the brother in law is not in a peak 1724 01:24:02,880 --> 01:24:07,800 Speaker 1: right now, He's in a valley, But you gave him 1725 01:24:07,840 --> 01:24:10,920 Speaker 1: the opportunity to stay there. You said, here's a B 1726 01:24:11,040 --> 01:24:13,640 Speaker 1: and C what needs to happen. We need you to 1727 01:24:13,640 --> 01:24:15,280 Speaker 1: pay your way a little bit, we need you to 1728 01:24:15,280 --> 01:24:17,000 Speaker 1: try to get a job. We need you to make 1729 01:24:17,120 --> 01:24:20,720 Speaker 1: active steps to coming out of this valley. And he 1730 01:24:20,920 --> 01:24:25,040 Speaker 1: straight up said, no, that is a hard no from me. 1731 01:24:25,720 --> 01:24:27,960 Speaker 1: So they're saying, Okay, if that's a hard no from you, 1732 01:24:27,960 --> 01:24:28,679 Speaker 1: you have to leave. 1733 01:24:28,840 --> 01:24:31,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, because they're not going to be like his family 1734 01:24:31,880 --> 01:24:34,640 Speaker 3: and enable it. They're gonna be like be a person. 1735 01:24:34,479 --> 01:24:36,280 Speaker 1: Like all right, you got to now figure it out. 1736 01:24:36,280 --> 01:24:37,800 Speaker 1: Then I guess if you're not gonna figure it out here, 1737 01:24:37,800 --> 01:24:39,519 Speaker 1: go figure out somewhere else, because you're not gonna stay here. 1738 01:24:39,680 --> 01:24:43,240 Speaker 1: My husband contacted the estate attorney, and I contacted the 1739 01:24:43,280 --> 01:24:46,439 Speaker 1: sales attorney. It was a lot of attorney talk. We 1740 01:24:46,520 --> 01:24:50,000 Speaker 1: purchased the estate anonymously to avoid this situation. Okay, So 1741 01:24:50,080 --> 01:24:54,240 Speaker 1: I was right. They didn't know that this was happening. Yeah, 1742 01:24:54,280 --> 01:24:57,560 Speaker 1: And now that they realized that the estate was purchased, 1743 01:24:57,840 --> 01:25:00,559 Speaker 1: they're saying, actually, wait, no, we want to look through 1744 01:25:00,560 --> 01:25:02,560 Speaker 1: all that stuff, and we want to do that. So 1745 01:25:02,600 --> 01:25:05,240 Speaker 1: they're trying to take advantage of the situation. They're trying 1746 01:25:05,280 --> 01:25:10,439 Speaker 1: to strong armor. She's saying not today anyway. We purchased 1747 01:25:10,479 --> 01:25:14,479 Speaker 1: the estate anonymously to avoid this situation. I was unaware 1748 01:25:14,520 --> 01:25:18,120 Speaker 1: of that the family has no legal right to any property, 1749 01:25:18,200 --> 01:25:20,639 Speaker 1: and was informed of that when we purchased the property. 1750 01:25:20,960 --> 01:25:24,280 Speaker 1: So the family sold all property without the knowledge that 1751 01:25:24,600 --> 01:25:29,080 Speaker 1: we purchased it, and they could potentially reclaim anything. They 1752 01:25:29,120 --> 01:25:31,960 Speaker 1: have continued to demand I not go through or remove 1753 01:25:32,080 --> 01:25:34,920 Speaker 1: any property, and I have continued to throw trash out 1754 01:25:35,360 --> 01:25:37,960 Speaker 1: and place other items in storage. I have taken the 1755 01:25:38,040 --> 01:25:41,120 Speaker 1: advice of many commenters to sell back the items the 1756 01:25:41,160 --> 01:25:44,080 Speaker 1: family is asking or demanding back. We paid for the 1757 01:25:44,160 --> 01:25:46,920 Speaker 1: property and items. They can purchase the items back with 1758 01:25:47,040 --> 01:25:51,479 Speaker 1: the money we paid for said items they want okay 1759 01:25:52,200 --> 01:25:55,559 Speaker 1: upon purchase. We did not continue the rent free agreement 1760 01:25:55,720 --> 01:25:59,080 Speaker 1: for brother in law, and he was quote evicted prior 1761 01:25:59,200 --> 01:26:02,120 Speaker 1: to purchase the agreement to allow him to stay after 1762 01:26:02,200 --> 01:26:05,560 Speaker 1: we purchased and required a rental agreement for utilities and 1763 01:26:05,720 --> 01:26:08,400 Speaker 1: the understanding he would be responsible for his child and 1764 01:26:08,560 --> 01:26:11,920 Speaker 1: pets when he refused the new agreement. No eviction was 1765 01:26:11,960 --> 01:26:14,720 Speaker 1: needed as it was a property sale with more than 1766 01:26:14,720 --> 01:26:18,120 Speaker 1: a thirty day notice, so they are legally completely in 1767 01:26:18,240 --> 01:26:21,880 Speaker 1: the green here and legally, I think all of you 1768 01:26:21,920 --> 01:26:24,280 Speaker 1: would be in the green as well if you join 1769 01:26:24,439 --> 01:26:28,280 Speaker 1: us every weekday when we go live on YouTube, on Facebook, 1770 01:26:28,400 --> 01:26:31,560 Speaker 1: TikTok and Twitch at three pmpst. All you gotta do 1771 01:26:32,320 --> 01:26:35,000 Speaker 1: is tap our profile. We might even be live right now. 1772 01:26:35,040 --> 01:26:36,160 Speaker 1: If you're watching this in the. 1773 01:26:36,200 --> 01:26:38,760 Speaker 3: Future, God to see if we're live right now. Yeah, 1774 01:26:38,840 --> 01:26:41,720 Speaker 3: the ducks are in the row. There's nothing they can do. 1775 01:26:42,560 --> 01:26:44,960 Speaker 1: But what would your position be on on future steps 1776 01:26:45,000 --> 01:26:48,280 Speaker 1: to take in regards to communications with the family. 1777 01:26:48,760 --> 01:26:50,800 Speaker 3: I feel like they did every single step that they could. 1778 01:26:51,040 --> 01:26:53,840 Speaker 3: They offered to take the kid in, they offered the 1779 01:26:53,920 --> 01:26:57,519 Speaker 3: brother in law to do what they could. I think 1780 01:26:57,560 --> 01:26:59,720 Speaker 3: they got everything figured out here. 1781 01:27:00,439 --> 01:27:03,040 Speaker 1: Let's finish this story off. Let's see it. Let's see 1782 01:27:03,040 --> 01:27:07,320 Speaker 1: how greedy it gets. Oh goodness, Okay, last edit and update. 1783 01:27:07,520 --> 01:27:11,519 Speaker 1: We purchased the estate for four hundred thousand dollars rounding down, 1784 01:27:12,080 --> 01:27:15,400 Speaker 1: so yes, it did cost us. He did receive one 1785 01:27:15,600 --> 01:27:18,240 Speaker 1: sixth of the four hundred thousand, which was given directly 1786 01:27:18,360 --> 01:27:21,479 Speaker 1: back to the bank for the loan, along with additional 1787 01:27:21,520 --> 01:27:24,360 Speaker 1: funds we saved over the nine months to purchase either 1788 01:27:24,439 --> 01:27:27,719 Speaker 1: this estate or another home. Brother in law was given 1789 01:27:27,760 --> 01:27:30,880 Speaker 1: the option to contribute to the cost of utilities and 1790 01:27:31,200 --> 01:27:35,080 Speaker 1: his child's uh and his child and his pets' living costs, 1791 01:27:35,600 --> 01:27:37,680 Speaker 1: get out of bed and care for his child and 1792 01:27:37,760 --> 01:27:40,920 Speaker 1: pets at the time of purchase. When he refused that option, 1793 01:27:41,200 --> 01:27:43,880 Speaker 1: no eviction was required because he was legally required to 1794 01:27:44,040 --> 01:27:47,120 Speaker 1: vacate when we purchased the estate. And that's the end 1795 01:27:47,160 --> 01:27:49,760 Speaker 1: of the stories that they're like, yep, and we and 1796 01:27:49,880 --> 01:27:51,679 Speaker 1: we didn't even have to go through an eviction process 1797 01:27:51,720 --> 01:27:55,120 Speaker 1: because he was already legally required to leave. Yeah, at 1798 01:27:55,160 --> 01:27:56,000 Speaker 1: the time that we bought it. 1799 01:27:56,400 --> 01:28:00,360 Speaker 3: Those families whack whack lootle do I mean, I guess 1800 01:28:01,600 --> 01:28:05,439 Speaker 3: a smart move trying to buy it anonymously, But also like, oh, 1801 01:28:05,600 --> 01:28:07,519 Speaker 3: it turned out it was impossible to. 1802 01:28:09,200 --> 01:28:11,080 Speaker 1: You shouldn't have done it anonymously, and then it would 1803 01:28:11,120 --> 01:28:12,880 Speaker 1: have avoided all of this because they would have just 1804 01:28:12,960 --> 01:28:15,560 Speaker 1: done it immediately and would have been like, you know, 1805 01:28:16,880 --> 01:28:19,280 Speaker 1: but I guess you had to do it anonymously, because 1806 01:28:19,320 --> 01:28:21,920 Speaker 1: if you didn't, then it would have definitely been way 1807 01:28:22,000 --> 01:28:26,600 Speaker 1: more of a mess up. Oh yeah, and the like 1808 01:28:26,760 --> 01:28:29,559 Speaker 1: this imagine from what am I saying? It's so smart 1809 01:28:29,600 --> 01:28:32,080 Speaker 1: that you do this anonymously because now that you have 1810 01:28:32,200 --> 01:28:35,000 Speaker 1: everything legally lined up, there's nothing they can do but like, 1811 01:28:35,280 --> 01:28:38,479 Speaker 1: you know, cry and complain about it. Before they would 1812 01:28:38,520 --> 01:28:40,560 Speaker 1: have been able to like twist your arm about it 1813 01:28:40,600 --> 01:28:43,680 Speaker 1: in a very more real way. But if you're now 1814 01:28:43,760 --> 01:28:46,800 Speaker 1: that you've bought the whole estate, it's like there we go. 1815 01:28:47,000 --> 01:28:47,920 Speaker 2: I can't say nothing.