Speaker 1: I Suck At with Dean, Vanessa and Jared and I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio Podcast. Hello everyone, thank you for joining us
Speaker 1: on this week's episode of Help I Suck At Dating.
Speaker 1: I'm Deanngler here in Los Angeles. I'm going to hand
Speaker 1: the introductions over to my co hosts who are all
Speaker 1: over the country right now. Guys, it's Vanessa from Montreal
Speaker 1: in my bedroom and Jared. Hello, I'm in d C.
Speaker 1: We're taking the world by storm. We're taking in the
Speaker 1: North Americ world storm at least, thank God for technology.
Speaker 1: Very special episode for you guys. They obviously not only
Speaker 1: are we all in three separate locations around North America,
Speaker 1: but we also have Ken Page calling in, who is
Speaker 1: the author of an incredible new book. We have obviously
Speaker 1: Vanessa in here to vouch for her side of the
Speaker 1: poop story that we've discussed a little bit last week
Speaker 1: and on Almost Famous podcast, and that was Vanessa pooping
Speaker 1: still and um, we're just going to kind of catch
Speaker 1: up with everyone and see how everyone's doing. So let's
Speaker 1: just kind of get right into it. Well, Dean, happy
Speaker 1: belated birthday. Oh yeah, thanks guys, thanks for the birthday love.
Speaker 1: Um it was you know, I'm turning, so there's not
Speaker 1: really much reason to celebrate nowadays. But Vanessa, you did
Speaker 1: something pretty exciting recently. I did. So. I was a
Speaker 1: gymnast for a couple of years, and then naturally, when
Speaker 1: the gymnasts from my club quit, they went to Circus
Speaker 1: Lay to become acrobats, and I was like, I want
Speaker 1: to become an acrobat. But then it was like, I
Speaker 1: think about six years after I quit gymnastics, I went
Speaker 1: to the Cirk School. I did the orientation, I walked
Speaker 1: around the school, I got familiar with the program, and
Speaker 1: then I'm like, I think I'm gonna go I think
Speaker 1: I'm just going to go into teaching. And then I
Speaker 1: went to university and now, at the age of thirty
Speaker 1: one years old, Circus So I contacted me. They're like,
Speaker 1: we'd love to have you in our headquarters, dressed up
Speaker 1: as one of the acrobats, put the makeup on, put
Speaker 1: their costume on, and get a training from the professionals.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god, this is the
Speaker 1: best day of my life. So I spent the entire
Speaker 1: day yesterday, well it was a morning until late afternoon,
Speaker 1: and it was everything I could have imagined. My body
Speaker 1: right now is so sore. I actually did. If you're
Speaker 1: familiar with gymnastics or or the circus like language, I
Speaker 1: basically like swung. So there was a guy holding me
Speaker 1: from my hands and he was swinging me and he
Speaker 1: released me and then I did a front salto dismount
Speaker 1: and landed the dismount like I was so so I
Speaker 1: basically did you know, like when you do a front
Speaker 1: roll on the floor, So I imagine, imagine like a
Speaker 1: guy swings you in the air and you like you
Speaker 1: do a front flip and then you land on. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know how many stories high,
Speaker 1: but I was like I had to climb up the ladder.
Speaker 1: I was like really really high. Oh man. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not like at least two stories three stories time,
Speaker 1: so like yeah or more. Yeah. Anyways, it's all, it's
Speaker 1: all on, it's all, it's we recorded the whole thing.
Speaker 1: It was. It was amazing. So this was like one
Speaker 1: of my dreams come. I've been wanting to become an
Speaker 1: acrobat for years. And they're like when I was leaving
Speaker 1: the coaches like Vanessa, I think he needs to switch careers.
Speaker 1: I was like, you actually think I could become an acrobat.
Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, just you know, a little bit more training.
Speaker 1: He was a question guy. I'm not really I'm not
Speaker 1: really good with with actors, but he was just like
Speaker 1: super encouraging and it's I don't know if you guys know,
Speaker 1: but was created from a Montreal troop. So they're they're
Speaker 1: Montreal based. So you got your shoeing what you're saying, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're homegrown. Yep, that's crazy. I've never been. I've never
Speaker 1: been to a cirt day a show, but I've heard
Speaker 1: they're incredible. They're really great. If you're gonna be well,
Speaker 1: I'm sure they has them in l A. In l A.
Speaker 1: They're traveling to l A. I can get you a
Speaker 1: backstage tour. Wow, can you get me into the thing
Speaker 1: like you did? Can I participate? Probably not? Come on,
Speaker 1: I'm not up. What are you doing? Okay, fine, I could.
Speaker 1: I could definitely try. But let me tell you it
Speaker 1: was everything i've You know, when you're a little kid,
Speaker 1: I guess like with sports with you guys, imagine meeting
Speaker 1: Tom Brady Jarrett. Imagine it every day in my life.
Speaker 1: So you imagine just like throwing a football with him
Speaker 1: on the field. That's what I felt like for me. Okay,
Speaker 1: so so Van Sa you did the Third Day Sleigh thing.
Speaker 1: It was my birthday recently, Jared, what the heck are
Speaker 1: you doing over in uh d C. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: taking naps really. I went to Duncan Donuts this morning.
Speaker 1: It was a pretty good time. Living it up, living
Speaker 1: the life right now. Now we're over here. We were
Speaker 1: in New York because Ashley had to go to this
Speaker 1: bridal Fashion Week and I tagged along because our florists.
Speaker 1: So we're working with a company called Birch in New York.
Speaker 1: They're pretty incredible and they're doing all our florals for
Speaker 1: the wedding coming up in August, and so they have
Speaker 1: a warehouse. Jared, when is the when's your wedding date?
Speaker 1: We have? We're not saying the date. We're not saying
Speaker 1: the venue or the date right now. We're just saying
Speaker 1: that it's a Newport and it's in Ryland because we
Speaker 1: just don't want to give away any two specifics. You know,
Speaker 1: obviously people will find out where the venue is afterwards,
Speaker 1: but we're kind of keeping it a little bit of
Speaker 1: a secret rate now. Um. Plus, we haven't even sent
Speaker 1: out invitations yet, so like, there's so many people that
Speaker 1: are coming to the wedding that don't even know where
Speaker 1: it's at, So let's let's get them knowing where where
Speaker 1: the venue is before we kind of put it out
Speaker 1: in the world is yet And we put out so
Speaker 1: much for the wedding that it's nice to like keep
Speaker 1: some things a little bit close to the chest. Anyway,
Speaker 1: we went to the they have a warehouse in uh Brooklyn,
Speaker 1: and it was cool because we went into the room
Speaker 1: and they had the entire room set up as our ballroom,
Speaker 1: so it was it was a very surreal moment for
Speaker 1: both Ashley and I walking in and they played Titanic,
Speaker 1: they played the My Heart Will Go On, so it's
Speaker 1: very special. I was holding my dog Lois in our
Speaker 1: arms and you know, I walked out. It was like
Speaker 1: a very adorable moment that I'll never forget for the
Speaker 1: rest of my life. And it was really cool seeing
Speaker 1: everything kind of come together with the florals and the
Speaker 1: tablecloth and the silverware and the plating and and the lighting. Um.
Speaker 1: So you know, we planned it for a few months
Speaker 1: now and that was the first time we actually saw
Speaker 1: it all put together. So it was a pretty awesome moment.
Speaker 1: And then we came down to d c Um where
Speaker 1: we did a couple of book readings for our children's book,
Speaker 1: and uh, we're visiting Ashley's parents down here, and then
Speaker 1: we head back to l A this weekend because I
Speaker 1: gotta get back in time for the Avenger's premieres. I'm
Speaker 1: going you split so much of your time between here
Speaker 1: and the East Coast. We do, I mean my parents
Speaker 1: living obviously, I'm born and raised Rhode Island and Ashley's
Speaker 1: parents are in Virginia, so um, Plus we're getting married
Speaker 1: in Rhode Island, so we've had to come back a
Speaker 1: few times for that, which is a good excuse for
Speaker 1: me to go home for a little while. And I
Speaker 1: love the East Coast. I was born and raised here,
Speaker 1: so we definitely both want to move back at some point. Uh.
Speaker 1: The goal would be, you know, to become bi coastal,
Speaker 1: but obviously we have a long ways to go before then.
Speaker 1: Well that's where you've ben open the bar right out there, right,
Speaker 1: I mean, i'd like to man, that's kind of like
Speaker 1: the long term plan is to open up a bar
Speaker 1: back east. I've always worked on the hospitality industry and
Speaker 1: it's always been a little bit of a dream of
Speaker 1: mine to open up a bar, and I have a
Speaker 1: very specific concept that I'd like to do, and I
Speaker 1: would never want to do it on the West Coast
Speaker 1: because I just don't know the clientele well enough. I
Speaker 1: don't know what would work, what wouldn't work. The retail
Speaker 1: property over there is far more expensive, So I'd like
Speaker 1: to bring it back home East Um, where I think
Speaker 1: I'm a little bit more tapped in and it would
Speaker 1: probably be a little bit more successful knock on wood.
Speaker 1: But yet again, that's still years down the road. You know,
Speaker 1: Actuley and I have a lot more things that we
Speaker 1: need to do and need to accomplish before we can
Speaker 1: even start thinking about that. I talked to your fiance
Speaker 1: yesterday or I guess the other day. That was the
Speaker 1: other day on the phone while she was recording the
Speaker 1: almost famous podcast, because you have announced that both well,
Speaker 1: I guess all three of us, me, Tanner and uh
Speaker 1: Nick are going to be groom's been in your wedding.
Speaker 1: That's public information, right, yes it is. I'd even know that. Oh,
Speaker 1: that was a very interesting well, I obviously I knew
Speaker 1: I asked them, but I didn't know it was public
Speaker 1: knowledge until I got tagged. Uh well, shout out to
Speaker 1: this instagram that is like dedicated to mean, it's not
Speaker 1: your instagram, it's like a fan account. What is it?
Speaker 1: Team d do you much respect? I gotta love them.
Speaker 1: Shout out to team Dean. But they posted like saying
Speaker 1: like oh Dean and Nick or in Jared's bachelor party.
Speaker 1: This was like last Friday, and I always the last
Speaker 1: one to know stuff about the wedding. I didn't even
Speaker 1: know that was public information. And uh, but Ashley was
Speaker 1: talking to somebody and she just kind of like said it, um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, does this mean I'm not invited to the wedding?
Speaker 1: Can we all just settle down for a minute? Wait?
Speaker 1: You know that's it? I don't know. We haven't. We're
Speaker 1: going through the guests this right now. We're just figuring
Speaker 1: everything out, Dared. I am heartbroken. Let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: I know. I held off on my vacation plans in August,
Speaker 1: and I kept asking. I didn't want to ask you directly.
Speaker 1: I was like, but I don't know when the wedding
Speaker 1: is because I there was a trip desk plan in August,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, I'm going to hold off on
Speaker 1: this on this trip because I want to come. I
Speaker 1: want to go to the wedding, but I want to
Speaker 1: book my trip to I'm gonna book my vacae it. Well,
Speaker 1: definitely don't schedule your vacation around me. I would never
Speaker 1: want that for a wedding, regardless. You know, it's your wedding.
Speaker 1: It's not a birthday party. It's your wedding. It's like,
Speaker 1: hopefully it's your first and last first. I wouldn't want um. Well, obviously,
Speaker 1: I mean, listen for all the wonderful things within Bachelor,
Speaker 1: it's just anyway, well, we're all going to talk about
Speaker 1: this at some point and figure everything out. The wedding
Speaker 1: is still always away. But yes, the point of the
Speaker 1: story is, Dean, I asked you because Dean, you and
Speaker 1: I have grown closer ever since the podcast started and
Speaker 1: become a lot closer friends, and specifically probably over the
Speaker 1: past like five or six months, I feel like I've
Speaker 1: grown a lot closer with you, and I'll the what
Speaker 1: really cemented when I wanted you to be a groomsman
Speaker 1: was our trip to Foxwood's, because um, you always just
Speaker 1: make me happy. Man. You're a very happy, happy guy
Speaker 1: and you're always so optimistic, and like, I know I
Speaker 1: want you to be a part of the party because
Speaker 1: you're I know, you'll just be energetic and smiling, and
Speaker 1: you'll make me smile as well and not stressed out.
Speaker 1: And uh, it was when we were at Foxwood's doing
Speaker 1: our event a few weeks ago, and we were in
Speaker 1: the club and you know, we're not you know, big
Speaker 1: club people, and Dean and I were just trying to
Speaker 1: have fun and we were like fist pumping and chanting,
Speaker 1: help I suck at dating, Help I suck at dating night.
Speaker 1: It was awesome. And so it's like, this is a
Speaker 1: no brainer. I wanting to be a part of my
Speaker 1: grooms and party. Yeah. I was flattered when you asked.
Speaker 1: Actually was a little bummed to hear that both Nick
Speaker 1: container are going to be there as well. Obviously I
Speaker 1: get it, like you and Tainner are best friends from
Speaker 1: obviously way way back. Yeah, but I was like, okay, cool,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be the only guy from the Bachelor that's
Speaker 1: gonna be up there. Of course Nicks in there too.
Speaker 1: Obviously Nick and I have grown very close and I
Speaker 1: lived with him for a little while, and uh, Nick
Speaker 1: was you know another guy that have been on a
Speaker 1: couple of seasons Bachelor with them, we've just formed a
Speaker 1: really strong friendship off the show as well. Um. But
Speaker 1: but well, well we'll see about Tanner. Obviously, Tanner is
Speaker 1: you know, he's like an honorary member of the Bachelor party,
Speaker 1: but he's also uh, you know, marrying Ashley and I
Speaker 1: he's our officiant. Um. But you know, Jade is pregnant
Speaker 1: and she's due right around our wedding, So I hope
Speaker 1: they're able to come. I hope both Tanner and Jade
Speaker 1: are able to come because they're uh two of my
Speaker 1: closest friends and obviously Ashley's as well, So it would
Speaker 1: be a bummer if they can't. But but we'll see. Um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, from Bachelor, it's you three that are part
Speaker 1: of the party and then some other guys. Actually, you know,
Speaker 1: it was funny. Dean Tory texted me a couple of
Speaker 1: days ago. Did she ever play a game with you?
Speaker 1: Apparently she wanted to play a game of to see
Speaker 1: if you could name any of the grundsman not named
Speaker 1: Nick or Tanner. Um, your dad, your father's name is
Speaker 1: phil ah so close Bill? Four letters, four letters and
Speaker 1: you I mean you had the peak sounds like an
Speaker 1: f It was pretty close. He's your best man, right, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: my dad is my best man. So um, I asked
Speaker 1: him way back at Christmas. Uh, but that was really
Speaker 1: nice moment. So so we're excited. We're doing we and
Speaker 1: planning and it's kind of all coming together, which is
Speaker 1: really nuts. And it's even crazy you think that it's
Speaker 1: all within the next you know, four months, ish Um,
Speaker 1: it's flying by. It's exciting. Well yeah, and then a
Speaker 1: bunch of other gimpsmen are going to be friends from
Speaker 1: Rhode Island. Yeah, there's one of my buddies. He lives
Speaker 1: up in Vancouver, but I was I kind of grew
Speaker 1: up with him in Rhode Island and then he moved
Speaker 1: over to Vancouver. He lives there now with his his fiance.
Speaker 1: And then obviously you guys live in l A. But
Speaker 1: then pretty much everybody else lives in Rhode Island. That's
Speaker 1: a cool part. That's that's I'm lucky to be being
Speaker 1: married over in Rhode Island because a lot of my
Speaker 1: friends and family are there. And then Ashley's family is
Speaker 1: mostly either in Jersey or in Northern Virginia. So everybody's
Speaker 1: kind of up there except for you know, Bachelor Core obviously,
Speaker 1: producers and casts. So yeah, all right, we'll be fun.
Speaker 1: I'm excited. I'm excited to Let's jump into a phone
Speaker 1: call with Ken Page, who is the author and host
Speaker 1: of a podcast, Deeper Dating. But before we do that,
Speaker 1: we are going to tell you guys a little bit
Speaker 1: about Hers. So, ladies, I'm sure you could relate to this.
Speaker 1: You go into a department store or into a pharmacy
Speaker 1: and there's high priced store brands, gimmicky marketing tricks to
Speaker 1: disappointing products that often do not perform, and it's impossible
Speaker 1: to know where to put your trust. And the truth
Speaker 1: is where aren't We aren't trying to look eighteen again,
Speaker 1: but we are trying to look like we slept at
Speaker 1: least seven hours or eight hours and drank eight glasses
Speaker 1: of water every day, which would be nice. I think
Speaker 1: I drink like about like five glasses of water. I
Speaker 1: need to step up my water game. For Hers dot
Speaker 1: com is the new women's wellness brand, cutting the cost
Speaker 1: and delivering you one of dermatologists go to solutions for
Speaker 1: aging skin. Fought for by a woman for women for
Speaker 1: Hers is helping women deal with aging skin and providing
Speaker 1: access to license doctors all online, which is super amazing.
Speaker 1: A doctor will evaluate you and can prescribe you a
Speaker 1: treatment that can be delivered directly to your door. And
Speaker 1: everyone's skin is different, so even I mean even my
Speaker 1: skin changes with the seasons. Um it's super early in
Speaker 1: the summertime and really dry in the winter, so the
Speaker 1: doctor can help tailor your treatment directly to you and
Speaker 1: for you for your skin type description. High strength red
Speaker 1: annoid face cream is here to help smooth appearances of
Speaker 1: fine lines, uneven skin texture, and a dult complexion without
Speaker 1: keeping our faces stuck in one expression. And I keep
Speaker 1: getting asked this a lot. I've never tried billtox or fillers,
Speaker 1: so this is something for hers dot com is something
Speaker 1: that I, um, I really want to try out, and
Speaker 1: especially because it's so hard out here to get an
Speaker 1: appointment with a dermatologist. So our listeners can get their
Speaker 1: first month of anti aging formula from hers for ten
Speaker 1: dollars off right now while supplies last and subject of
Speaker 1: course to your doctor's approval. See website for full details.
Speaker 1: Go to for hers dot com slash Dean that's f
Speaker 1: O R h e r s dot com slash dean
Speaker 1: for hers dot com slash d e A n restrictions apply.
Speaker 1: See website for full details. All right, you guys, we
Speaker 1: all know how hard hiring can be. Multiple job sites
Speaker 1: stacks of resume is a confusing review process. But today
Speaker 1: hiring it can be easy and you only have to
Speaker 1: go to one place to get it done. Zip recruiter
Speaker 1: dot com slash date date. Zip Recruiter sends your job
Speaker 1: to over a hundred of the webs leading job boards.
Speaker 1: But they don't stop there. With their powerful matching technology,
Speaker 1: zip Recruiter skins thousands of resumes to find out people
Speaker 1: with the right experience and invites them to apply to
Speaker 1: the job that you need filled. How incredible. As applications
Speaker 1: come in, zip Recruiter analyzes each one and spotlights the
Speaker 1: top candidates so you never miss a great match. Zip
Speaker 1: Recruiter is so effective that four out of five employers
Speaker 1: who post on zip recruiter get a quality candidate through
Speaker 1: the site within the first day. That's comedy employers, four
Speaker 1: out of five, that's within the first day. Thank you
Speaker 1: was almost out. It's hard to finding an internship, let
Speaker 1: alone a job, and right now our listeners can try
Speaker 1: zip recruiter for free at zip recruiter dot com, slash date.
Speaker 1: That's zip recruiter dot com, slash d a t E.
Speaker 1: Zip recruiter is the smartest way too higher. Al Right,
Speaker 1: we have Ken Page on the line. Ken is the
Speaker 1: host of the Deeper Dating podcast. He's also the author
Speaker 1: of the best selling book Deeper Dating, How to Drop
Speaker 1: the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy.
Speaker 1: Ken are you there? I am very here, Hey, Ken,
Speaker 1: How are you. I'm good, I'm good, glad to be here.
Speaker 1: Thanks for inviting me, Thank you for having well, thank
Speaker 1: you for being here. You are on the line with
Speaker 1: the help I second dating crew Dean and Vanessa. Hey,
Speaker 1: can watch you tell us who you are? Give a
Speaker 1: little background to the listeners. Sure, sure, so um. I
Speaker 1: am I guess, first and foremost, someone who was chronically
Speaker 1: single for decades and I'm a psychotherapist and um kind
Speaker 1: of at the same time as I was struggling with
Speaker 1: my own search for love, I had so many clients
Speaker 1: that were as well. So I tried to kind of
Speaker 1: really learn what why I chucked at dating And I
Speaker 1: really really sucked at dating. I sucked at it so
Speaker 1: badly that I actually started a support group for chronically
Speaker 1: single psychotherapists and really helpful. Yeah. Yeah, because we need it.
Speaker 1: We to go therapist, we need that help. Um. But
Speaker 1: so so I had to do a lot of work
Speaker 1: and a lot of work learning and I kind of
Speaker 1: chronicled what I learned as I learned it, and that
Speaker 1: led to my book, Deeper Dating. I was still single.
Speaker 1: Um that led in the process to me adopting a
Speaker 1: child as a single dad. Yes, yes, then, um, our
Speaker 1: son is now about to graduate high school. And that
Speaker 1: has been an amazing you know, I said yes to
Speaker 1: love and that was what came first. It wasn't a partner,
Speaker 1: and then through all of that I met my husband. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: I was teaching, you know, I was this like therapist
Speaker 1: teaching about finding love even though I wasn't in a relationship.
Speaker 1: But I knew what I was learning work, and I
Speaker 1: thought all the way through and uh wrote that book,
Speaker 1: and um, you know, teach classes, teach intensive lecture all
Speaker 1: over the place right for psychology today and most recently
Speaker 1: started the Deeper Dating podcast. Right, I get to kind
Speaker 1: of talk about what I'm learning and and and like
Speaker 1: each one of you. I'm endlessly fascinated in what it
Speaker 1: means to date well and to find love because it's
Speaker 1: kind of like it's a miracle, but it's a miracle
Speaker 1: that you can earn. So that's my story. Well, Ken,
Speaker 1: I think you're so incredibly insightful, and there's so many
Speaker 1: things that you write and you talk about that resonates
Speaker 1: with me and I'm sure resonates with a lot of
Speaker 1: our listeners. And one thing that you talk about is
Speaker 1: attractions of deprivation and attractions of inspiration. And before I
Speaker 1: butcher what this means, um, can you give us uh
Speaker 1: an example what each of those mean? Yeah? Absolutely so,
Speaker 1: So here's what I say. I say that, like, in
Speaker 1: the simplest term, every one of us has two kind
Speaker 1: of circuitaries of attraction and we all have them both.
Speaker 1: And a circuitry of attraction of death of deprivation is
Speaker 1: when you're attracted to someone because you're trying to get
Speaker 1: them to love you, or you're trying to get them
Speaker 1: to treat you right, and they almost love you, or
Speaker 1: they almost treat you right, or they almost can commit,
Speaker 1: but they can't. They ultimately can't. And that's a real
Speaker 1: attraction because you feel like if I can finally get
Speaker 1: this person, then that means I'm okay, and that that
Speaker 1: means I can find love. And you know, so many
Speaker 1: of us have lost years in that process. And it's
Speaker 1: a real circuitry and it feels like love because it's
Speaker 1: like almost love. And then the other circuitry, which is
Speaker 1: a different one that most of us don't even know.
Speaker 1: There's some people that really know how to find love,
Speaker 1: and they do it easily and they do it well.
Speaker 1: But for the rest of us, we need to learn
Speaker 1: about this other circuitry, and it's what I call circuitry
Speaker 1: of attractions, of inspiration, and that is when you fall
Speaker 1: in love with somebody because of their goodness and their
Speaker 1: decency and the fact that their love for you is solid,
Speaker 1: and it might not always look as sexy at first,
Speaker 1: and it might even scare you or freak you out
Speaker 1: a little bit that this person is so available, like
Speaker 1: what is wrong with them? But those qualities where they
Speaker 1: inspire you, by how they treat you, by how they
Speaker 1: act in the world, by the kind of person they are,
Speaker 1: that's happiness. That's like where you that's the only place
Speaker 1: you want to really look for love, and you can
Speaker 1: cultivate that circuitry, and when you do, your dating life
Speaker 1: changes top to bottom. Actually, um, the Operah people exerted
Speaker 1: that section of my book, which which attractions lead to
Speaker 1: love and which pain? So what would what kind of
Speaker 1: advice would you give to people who are listening who
Speaker 1: gets stuck and can't break free from being stuck with
Speaker 1: the almost person, the person that is giving them love
Speaker 1: but not the kind of love that they need or
Speaker 1: all the love that they deserve. Yeah, well, I want
Speaker 1: to say, first of all, it is the hardest thing
Speaker 1: in the world. It's just the hardest thing in the world.
Speaker 1: And you are going to be if you're stuck in that.
Speaker 1: You have to assume that you're a little bit during
Speaker 1: the being stuck in it, You're gonna be a little
Speaker 1: bit nuts. You are not going to have clear vision.
Speaker 1: You're gonna need to rely on friends that remind you
Speaker 1: that it's not about what's wrong with you that you
Speaker 1: have to fix, and that when you go on endlessly
Speaker 1: and endlessly about what this person did wrong, that your
Speaker 1: friends is yeah, this really happened, And you know, we
Speaker 1: need the help of our friends, We need the help
Speaker 1: of therapists, we need the help of our intuition, because
Speaker 1: you know, in those relationships, your gut is always saying
Speaker 1: like right, no, no, no, this isn't really working. I
Speaker 1: don't feel good, I don't feel safe, I don't trust
Speaker 1: this person. So it's hard, it's really hard. Like the
Speaker 1: image that I have of this is like like a
Speaker 1: little kid who's holding a piece of broken glass in
Speaker 1: her hand and it's really pretty and it's really colorful,
Speaker 1: but it's cutting the inside of her hand, but she's
Speaker 1: not going to let it go for anything. And that's
Speaker 1: kind of my image of what it's like, having been
Speaker 1: in a lot of those relationships myself in the past. Ken,
Speaker 1: what do you think about the three date rule. We've
Speaker 1: talked about that on the podcast before, where most of
Speaker 1: the times when you're going on dates you should go
Speaker 1: on three dates with the same person before you really
Speaker 1: make a judgment on that. What are your thoughts on
Speaker 1: you know, I think that's a good rule. However, I
Speaker 1: think if the person is nasty, don't go on three
Speaker 1: dates of course will continue Yeah yeah, yeah, okay, so
Speaker 1: assuming none of that stuff, none of that really creepy stuff.
Speaker 1: I think the three date rule is a really nice one, Like,
Speaker 1: like I want was dating somebody, and um, I had
Speaker 1: a mentor who really was helpful to me, and this
Speaker 1: this guy that I was dating because for me, it
Speaker 1: was a guy UM was he was nice, but I
Speaker 1: wasn't really that interested, and um, I didn't know if
Speaker 1: I should keep dating him. And my mentor said to me,
Speaker 1: keep dating him because in a little bit of time
Speaker 1: he's either going to get more beautiful to you or
Speaker 1: and either way you'll know. So I think it's a
Speaker 1: great rule. My friend actually has a rule. Um and
Speaker 1: if she answers yes, yes, no at the end of this,
Speaker 1: at the end of a date, then she'll go on
Speaker 1: on a second day with them. And so the questions are,
Speaker 1: did I have fun? If that's a yes, then that's great.
Speaker 1: Did he make me feel good? If that's a yes,
Speaker 1: that's great. Did he make me feel bad? And if
Speaker 1: that's a note, that's also great. So if she answers yes,
Speaker 1: yes no to those three questions, she gives the guy
Speaker 1: second chance, even if she's like, I'm not sure if
Speaker 1: I'm like super attracted to him, but I want to
Speaker 1: get to know him and I want to see what
Speaker 1: if we can have a stronger connection. So that's her
Speaker 1: little date rule. That's so crazy. I like that too,
Speaker 1: but it's crazy to think about that. Sometimes you're putting uh,
Speaker 1: the yes yes no rule for your soul mate. You know,
Speaker 1: it is not weird to think about. Say your friend
Speaker 1: goes on a date with somebody and they do that
Speaker 1: and then they answer yes, yes, and no. So she's like,
Speaker 1: all right, I'll go on another date with this person.
Speaker 1: They go on another day, and then they end up
Speaker 1: falling in love and getting married. Isn't that crazy to
Speaker 1: think back upon, like everything that could have fallen through.
Speaker 1: I don't know. That just kind of went through my
Speaker 1: head that like everything that was predicated on her marrying
Speaker 1: her soul mate was simply a yes, yes, no. I
Speaker 1: don't love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so crazy. It's
Speaker 1: like and then if you were like on that street
Speaker 1: corner right at that time, and you wouldn't have met
Speaker 1: that person. This is why it's like, I'll tell you
Speaker 1: what I see in my work. What I see is
Speaker 1: that when people make certain specific changes, the people they
Speaker 1: meet change, like the field somehow changes and then which
Speaker 1: is amazing right there, But then kind of like I
Speaker 1: don't know if any of you have experienced that, you
Speaker 1: kind of like sometimes get messages from the inside and
Speaker 1: lad methods might be like, yeah, you find that too,
Speaker 1: mm hmm. Total instinct yep, yep, yep. Have any of
Speaker 1: you had got instincts that like really kind of change
Speaker 1: your future so strong? Yes, I think, I, well, this
Speaker 1: is my I love that this is like a lead
Speaker 1: into a question that I had for you. I feel
Speaker 1: like we're at an age where we're the most intelligent
Speaker 1: we've ever been, but also the most troubled UM And
Speaker 1: I think it's a lot of noise that's around us,
Speaker 1: a lot of social media comparison compared comparing ourselves um
Speaker 1: to other people, comparing our relationship to other relationships that
Speaker 1: are are out there. And you talk about authenticity and
Speaker 1: leading with your authenticity, and then you also mentioned intuition today,
Speaker 1: and I feel like sometimes it's so hard to grasp
Speaker 1: the definition of those two um like very simple ideas
Speaker 1: being authentic and following your intuition, But there's so much
Speaker 1: outside noise that them masks what we should be doing
Speaker 1: and what we're already born with. How can we tap
Speaker 1: into our intuition a little bit more at least trust
Speaker 1: our gut Because I've been in relationships where I knew
Speaker 1: from the first day I met someone, I was like, no,
Speaker 1: this is not gonna work. But I guess my insecurities.
Speaker 1: I was feeding my insecurities and I was speeding my
Speaker 1: ego like Okay, well I'm gonna like you said, I
Speaker 1: want him to like me, so I feel better about myself.
Speaker 1: And but my intuition kept pushing me away further and
Speaker 1: further away from that person um and to to the
Speaker 1: point where we just became two beings and not we
Speaker 1: weren't one anymore. So how can we tap in into
Speaker 1: our how can we tap into our intuition a little
Speaker 1: bit more? Oh my god, that was that was like
Speaker 1: great what you said and really really really so true.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's just it's such a true thing that
Speaker 1: it's like you just defined a big piece of like
Speaker 1: the wiser dating path. And this is what I would say,
Speaker 1: The real lessens of dating are the lessons of intimacy,
Speaker 1: and the lessons of intimacy are the greatest lessons of
Speaker 1: your life. So this was one of them. You know,
Speaker 1: how do you like kind of like calm down and
Speaker 1: tune into what you really feel instead of getting so
Speaker 1: like bewildered by all the noise or seduced by all
Speaker 1: these other things you're being told. And I have a
Speaker 1: lot to say. I have a lot to say about that.
Speaker 1: But like the two things I want to say in particular,
Speaker 1: and one is that you need to listen for those
Speaker 1: moments of intuition. That's like a really big deal. And
Speaker 1: you want to try to not think you can outsmart
Speaker 1: your intuition, because every time we think we were going
Speaker 1: to outsmarter intuition, like I know better, it usually bites
Speaker 1: it in the butt. So yeah, yeah, So so I
Speaker 1: think those moments of intuition are like such a big deal.
Speaker 1: And you know, in my work with people, I have
Speaker 1: such a using stories about like people getting woken up
Speaker 1: in the middle of the night with an insight about
Speaker 1: what they have to do or they don't have to do,
Speaker 1: or finally getting hit with something, or just getting that
Speaker 1: good feeling of like, oh, this person can be like
Speaker 1: home for me, like I could see that, you know
Speaker 1: that that really strong feelings. So one thing we have
Speaker 1: to do is really learned to listen to those kind
Speaker 1: of whispers of intuition. And any other thing is I
Speaker 1: want to I would love to share the greatest and
Speaker 1: it's really easy, it's really quick, but it is the
Speaker 1: number one greatest practice that I know for listening to
Speaker 1: your intuition and following it and having that change your life.
Speaker 1: So can I show can I teach it to you all?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we're all yours? Oh good good? Okay. So
Speaker 1: so then I'm going to ask everyone who's listening, and
Speaker 1: I'm going to ask each of you two, um to
Speaker 1: give this a shot. Okay, So just close your eyes
Speaker 1: for a sect and it's gonna be really quick, but
Speaker 1: it's it's pretty wonderful. Close your eyes unless you're driving, um,
Speaker 1: and uh, just kind of think of the you that
Speaker 1: you are when you're really freely loving. It could be
Speaker 1: like you freely loving your pet or a family member
Speaker 1: or a kid or you know, also a romantic love
Speaker 1: like who you become when you're really that kind of
Speaker 1: like free and go fee and like just just open
Speaker 1: version of you. So just think about that. You just
Speaker 1: picture like how that feels and how you are, and
Speaker 1: then you have to get it perfectly just as a
Speaker 1: general idea. And then like remember a time that you
Speaker 1: felt really comfortable in your own skin, like really great
Speaker 1: in your own skin, just like so good with yourself
Speaker 1: and just kind of remember that, hold that memory. And
Speaker 1: one more question. I think about a time that, like
Speaker 1: you really felt loved by somebody, And I don't mean
Speaker 1: somebody that like later down the road betrayed you or
Speaker 1: let you down, someone who like to this day you
Speaker 1: say that was like a good person. But remember what
Speaker 1: it feels like, what it has felt like to be
Speaker 1: really just loved, and hold all those feelings together, and
Speaker 1: now imagine you that lives that way. It's like the
Speaker 1: you you're meant to be. It's like the you on
Speaker 1: the other side of all your inner glass feelings, like
Speaker 1: a wise wise version of like the you that you
Speaker 1: are born to be. And just picture that you and
Speaker 1: now become that you. Just it's an imagination exercise. You
Speaker 1: don't have to earn it. Just like imagine you are
Speaker 1: in that you, which isn't that hard in a way
Speaker 1: because it's you. So just imagine now you're in the
Speaker 1: skin of that you, like that you that you know
Speaker 1: you are and you're born to be. And imagine looking
Speaker 1: at the you of today who's struggling and asking these
Speaker 1: questions about love. What do you most want from this
Speaker 1: fantastic place? What do you most want to impart to
Speaker 1: the you of today, Like, what's the message that comes
Speaker 1: from you from this place, comes from the inside of
Speaker 1: you that you want to say to the you of today.
Speaker 1: Just take a minute to think about what that is. Okay,
Speaker 1: did you guys get something? Yeah, I think we've got
Speaker 1: something out of it. I did. I was very reflective
Speaker 1: a message. Yeah. Well, I hope our listeners, whoever is listening,
Speaker 1: can do the same exact practice, except while you're driving,
Speaker 1: like you said, Ken said, So if you guys are
Speaker 1: listening at home, definitely close your eyes and listen to
Speaker 1: Cannon and try to do those practices just for a
Speaker 1: minute or so. Soothing. Oh thanks, thanks. You have a
Speaker 1: meditation teacher, so so my wouldn't say so when I'm
Speaker 1: yelling him to do his homework. Apart from that, but
Speaker 1: but so, yeah, so if you do that process, whatever
Speaker 1: you got, I just want to tell you, it's probably
Speaker 1: smarter than anything any therapists could tell you and make
Speaker 1: that Yeah. If you know, I'm a shrink and I
Speaker 1: do this process with people with my clients all the time,
Speaker 1: and the stuff they come up with again and again,
Speaker 1: I think, wow, that is better than what I would
Speaker 1: have said, and I'm a pretty good therapist. So great exercised.
Speaker 1: If you do it every day for a minute or two,
Speaker 1: you're gonna become that person much more quickly, and you're
Speaker 1: gonna make choices in love. Like when you're at a
Speaker 1: kind of choice point in your dating life and you
Speaker 1: do that exercise, you're almost always going to get guidance
Speaker 1: and it's never going to be critical, but it's going
Speaker 1: to be very real and if you follow it, you're
Speaker 1: probably going to speed to your path to finding your
Speaker 1: relationship by right there. Well that's incredible. Well, Ken, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for coming on. We really appreciate it. Um,
Speaker 1: you've definitely dropped some knowledge on all of us and
Speaker 1: everybody listening to this. You guys can get Ken's book
Speaker 1: Deeper Dating, How to Drop the Games of Deduction and
Speaker 1: Discover the Power of Intimacy and popular Psychology today that
Speaker 1: is available everywhere books are sold. You can also listen
Speaker 1: to Deeper Dating podcast everywhere podcast uh you know iTunes
Speaker 1: all that good stuff. Um. Can do you have any
Speaker 1: social media you want to plug? Oh? Sure? So Twitter
Speaker 1: is Ken Paige lcs W and uh same for Facebook. Alright,
Speaker 1: perfect Ken, everybody go follow him, and thank you once
Speaker 1: again for coming on Ken Paige. We really appreciate it. Thanks,
Speaker 1: thank you. You know it's really cool about Ken. He
Speaker 1: was an OPRAH magazine. How badass? Is that? Very badass? Yeah? Apparently?
Speaker 1: Thanks Dean. How are you that contribution there? Sorry? Sorry
Speaker 1: for being silent during the whole conversation. I feel like
Speaker 1: you guys were carrying it well enough, so I didn't
Speaker 1: have this one that you need is the most help? Yeah,
Speaker 1: thanks Mark, I really appreciate that. I think that's such
Speaker 1: an overrated statement. Dean, you do not need help. I
Speaker 1: don't really are It's it's okay, I wrote Dean, So
Speaker 1: it was Dean's birthday yesterday and paying out for a
Speaker 1: group chat because I know I wouldn't have been notified
Speaker 1: because I'm not really ever on Instagram unless I have
Speaker 1: to post something for work. So Dean that message, I
Speaker 1: don't think. I don't feel like you actually internalize it
Speaker 1: the way I wanted you to. Do you want to
Speaker 1: read it for the listeners? Yes? Absolutely. First of all,
Speaker 1: we all know how many people love Dean and how
Speaker 1: many people want to be dating him, and we all
Speaker 1: know how much he loves to self deprecate and make
Speaker 1: fun of himself. So I said, my love, exclamation point,
Speaker 1: exclamation point, I'm so sorry. I didn't know it was
Speaker 1: your birthday today. I hope you had the most magical
Speaker 1: day because you are magical. Thank you for being in
Speaker 1: my life and for being my friend. I hope this
Speaker 1: year brings you inside on all the impact you have
Speaker 1: made in people's lives and shows you true, how truly
Speaker 1: specially you are. There was a typeever, that's why this
Speaker 1: is your year. I can't wait too. I can't wait
Speaker 1: to see you continue to thrive. There are so many
Speaker 1: type of message I can't even but basically I wanted
Speaker 1: Dean to I want Dean to take this year kind
Speaker 1: of like a sabbatical on himself and take this year
Speaker 1: to really like you travel so much and you do
Speaker 1: so many things that can be so insightful on all
Speaker 1: the positive qualities that you have and really own them
Speaker 1: and really believe that you are that person that I
Speaker 1: see that you are, And that's what I hope this
Speaker 1: year brings you. Thanks me, but you said that you
Speaker 1: don't think that I gave you the response that you
Speaker 1: were hoping for yesterday respond with it was like three words, thanks,
Speaker 1: I said thanks to the heart emoji. Heart emoji, that's
Speaker 1: very cute. I don't know. I have difficult anytime somebody
Speaker 1: like like gives me a whole paragraph about how great
Speaker 1: I am. I've a very difficult time like responding to
Speaker 1: anything like that the same way I was because I'm
Speaker 1: like you at the time, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: couldn't really come back with a long heartfelt response. But
Speaker 1: I do appreciate it, and I didn't internalize it. And Vanessa,
Speaker 1: thank you for the birthday wish. Obviously, it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: what time I got it. It's the thought that counts.
Speaker 1: And you know I love you. That's true. I'm listen, guys,
Speaker 1: I was really bad at receiving compliments. Um, even when
Speaker 1: I go out for dinner and I know if someone
Speaker 1: wants to be paying for me and they bring out
Speaker 1: their wallet, I used to fight them, literally jump on them,
Speaker 1: put their wallet back in their purse, and I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: learn how to accept good things that come your way.
Speaker 1: So if ever someone wants to pay for dinner, I
Speaker 1: say thank you. I'm not going to fight it. If
Speaker 1: someone says something nice about me, I'm like, thank you,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to actually internalize it and believe it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what I learned how to do. I agree. I
Speaker 1: used to like any time I used to get a compliment,
Speaker 1: I'd always fight it and be like, oh no, like
Speaker 1: if somebody came up and said, hey, you have a
Speaker 1: great job. No, it's just it's fine, it's really not
Speaker 1: that good, and then it would create this awkwardness in
Speaker 1: the air. And now I've realized just to say thank you, like, hey,
Speaker 1: you know you have patchy facial hair. Well, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you very much. I appreciate it. It's very nice
Speaker 1: of you to say. It's just I think that by
Speaker 1: agree by thanking them so abruptly like that, you're like
Speaker 1: agreeing with them almost, you know, And who gives a yeah.
Speaker 1: I have a list of things that I love about myself,
Speaker 1: and the name one of them. You should go around
Speaker 1: the room and each say something you love about yourself. Okay. Um.
Speaker 1: I love my height because I feel like it's a
Speaker 1: good five and a half is a good height to
Speaker 1: like date. Some of us like a little bit taller,
Speaker 1: so everyone's always naturally going to be kind of taller
Speaker 1: than you. I love my teeth, I love my smile,
Speaker 1: I love my positive energy. I love the length of
Speaker 1: my hair. I love um my sties that I had
Speaker 1: on my freaking eyes for two weeks getting I don't
Speaker 1: know is happening. For a while, they were a part
Speaker 1: because I've learned how to love, because we live in
Speaker 1: a world where we want the Kardashian body, the small ways,
Speaker 1: the big hips, that everything has to be perfect and
Speaker 1: life is not perfect. Like I have Selly light on
Speaker 1: my ass, and I love the Celly light on my
Speaker 1: ass because that means I have a big for the record,
Speaker 1: I know that girls idolize the Kardashian body, but I
Speaker 1: don't think I know a single guy that's like, Wow,
Speaker 1: Kim Kay has really got it going on. I don't
Speaker 1: know a single I don't know the sing guy personally
Speaker 1: that looks at kim Kay's body and like, that's the
Speaker 1: body that I want my girlfriend to have. No guys like, damn,
Speaker 1: that's good looking. But Carl's idolizer obviously, because Kim Kay is,
Speaker 1: if is the most if not the most is one
Speaker 1: of the most if not the most famous person in
Speaker 1: the world, mostly because girls idolize her for the way
Speaker 1: that she looks when like I just said, guys not
Speaker 1: a single guy I know thinks she's attractive. Dean, who
Speaker 1: do you think the most attractive Kardashian is or Jenner?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Um? Oh, well, Kendall is
Speaker 1: obviously super hot. All right. Besides Kendall, what's what's her name?
Speaker 1: Not not Chloe Courtney? I think is of the Kardashians,
Speaker 1: it needs to natural looking. What do you think too? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I would say the same too. Is it funny? I
Speaker 1: feel like any model? Right? Well? Kylie is the model.
Speaker 1: Model is a very good looking woman. Yeah, she's the model.
Speaker 1: I mean, they're all models, aren't they. Kind I guess
Speaker 1: the point they're trying to actually a runway model. The
Speaker 1: point I'm trying to make is girls idolized Kim Kay
Speaker 1: for the though that she looks, but guys at the
Speaker 1: same time don't really look up to her as like
Speaker 1: beautiful I mean beautiful shirt, but like not like not
Speaker 1: not just Kim Kay anyone really. And I like, I
Speaker 1: was sick on my on my couch last week and
Speaker 1: I posted about it, and I went on Instagram and
Speaker 1: I was looking flipping through everyone's like pages, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this person is traveling to that place
Speaker 1: this person has that job, this person looks like this,
Speaker 1: this person is working out five times a week and
Speaker 1: eating super healthy, and I'm like, I'm not doing any
Speaker 1: of those things. And then I started comparing myself, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, why am I comparing myself when I have
Speaker 1: so many amazing things to be grateful for, and the
Speaker 1: most important one of them all my health, minus dies
Speaker 1: mine this sis. Yeah, guys, it was so. It was
Speaker 1: so we went to NAPA and I'm so sorry, Jared.
Speaker 1: We're supposi recorded podcast, but our podcast they get pushed
Speaker 1: to later and end up getting no And I remember
Speaker 1: saying like, my body is not gonna be able to
Speaker 1: handle it. And of course with my travel, my luck
Speaker 1: with traveling. My flight the next day was canceled. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that sucked. I remember that that you texted because you
Speaker 1: had a straight shot, didn't you, from San franc to
Speaker 1: Montreal and then it got canceled and then you had
Speaker 1: a layover after you were sick. Yeah, bad day, bad
Speaker 1: couple of days for you. Sorry about that. It was
Speaker 1: a bad. Yeah, it was a bad couple of days.
Speaker 1: But um, I don't know, But I don't know who
Speaker 1: you piste off or what you did wrong. In your life,
Speaker 1: but you literally have the worst travel luck. I really do,
Speaker 1: and I usually always travel for work. It's not like
Speaker 1: as if I'm traveling to go have fun, so it's
Speaker 1: like it's not an obligation, but I'm doing it because
Speaker 1: it's for work and I'm still getting shot in the foot. Yeah, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: but you're a very optimistic person. I feel like sometimes
Speaker 1: when you put out in the air, you'll you get back.
Speaker 1: So maybe instead of you saying you're a crappy traveler
Speaker 1: that you know, you can say, Hey, I've had a
Speaker 1: bad run of luck, but now things are going to
Speaker 1: turn and my traveling stories are going to get better
Speaker 1: and maybe they'll get better vacation to kind of like
Speaker 1: all balance it out. Well, Okay, back to you, sure,
Speaker 1: let's put it up back on me. What do you want?
Speaker 1: What do you want this year to bring? Um? Parodi
Speaker 1: shut up, Jared. Of course I was gonna say that, Dean,
Speaker 1: do you think, Jared I'm answering even ask this question?
Speaker 1: Come on, But I want to one thing that sorry
Speaker 1: answered the question because my question is very similar to Vanessa's.
Speaker 1: I just kind of wanted to pitt back off of pity,
Speaker 1: back off it piggy off it. Um, I think that
Speaker 1: if the if the year ahead holds very similar to
Speaker 1: what the year behind held, I would be pretty happy
Speaker 1: in terms of traveling and meeting new people. And that's
Speaker 1: basically what it's already off to start. It's actually after
Speaker 1: dinner last night, I went rock climbing because I'm going
Speaker 1: on this trip next week, um and I want to
Speaker 1: get like at least semi fit before going. And I
Speaker 1: was sitting in the parking lot, and I know how
Speaker 1: last week I think we discussed how I was flying
Speaker 1: to Marrakesh for uh May second like next week beginning
Speaker 1: of May whatever it was, Um, I decided instead of
Speaker 1: going to Marrakesh, I'm gonna go to China. And so
Speaker 1: I was sitting in the parking lot of the rock
Speaker 1: climbing gym that I was about to go climbing in,
Speaker 1: and um, I booked a plane ticket to China instead
Speaker 1: of Marrakesh. So, UM, I just I hope that that's
Speaker 1: that's kind of a continued process. And then I think, uh,
Speaker 1: I think I mentioned this last week as well too,
Speaker 1: as once I go to Colorado this week, I hope
Speaker 1: on driving a van back to Los Angeles. I've got
Speaker 1: a couple of living up that I'm gonna look at
Speaker 1: and so hopefully that will be a big central point
Speaker 1: of the next year of my life is being able
Speaker 1: to be mobile and drive my van around to wherever
Speaker 1: I want, while also being able to catch flights to
Speaker 1: other countries and see things that I've always wanted to
Speaker 1: see as well. Um, so that's what the year ahead holds.
Speaker 1: I know that obviously doesn't really evolve much around my
Speaker 1: romantic life, and I think that for this uh phase
Speaker 1: of my life, romance is really gonna have to take
Speaker 1: a back seat to self exploration and discovery. And I'm
Speaker 1: perfectly fine with that, and actually I thinking about it
Speaker 1: even a little bit more yesterday. Um Like, everyone kind
Speaker 1: of aspires to be in a relationship, right, Like if
Speaker 1: you're single time, you're always like okay, like how could
Speaker 1: I get into a relationship? How can I find a
Speaker 1: girlfriend or boyfriend? But I'm just so much better as
Speaker 1: a single person, Like I'm so much better through and
Speaker 1: through single than I am in a relationship. I had
Speaker 1: that mentality too. I remember when I would jump into relationships,
Speaker 1: I would cry to my system, be like I hate
Speaker 1: who I become when I'm in a relationship, I become
Speaker 1: like more insecure, and I become clingy to the person,
Speaker 1: and my dreams and the aspirations that I have kind
Speaker 1: of take a back seat. And I love who I
Speaker 1: am when I'm single. But I think with this relationship now,
Speaker 1: at least I'm learning how to mesh my single mentality
Speaker 1: of the things that I want to achieve in life
Speaker 1: into my relationship. Um, because I hated who I became
Speaker 1: in a relationship, I I always p prioritize the other person,
Speaker 1: and I uh remember dating someone who kind of told
Speaker 1: me like, well, you're are not allowed doing this anymore,
Speaker 1: and I kind of had to quit this job that
Speaker 1: I had. I didn't have to I didn't have to storry.
Speaker 1: I allowed myself to let him take control of my
Speaker 1: work life, right, And then you just start worrying about
Speaker 1: someone else reacting to the things that you're doing other
Speaker 1: than just you because someone else is connected. So it's like,
Speaker 1: if I want to live in a van for a year,
Speaker 1: I have to worry about someone else worrying about me
Speaker 1: living in a van for a year, you know. But
Speaker 1: if I'm single, I don't have to worry about buying
Speaker 1: a plane ticket to China for two weeks if I
Speaker 1: just want to go and do it, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Yeah, But that's why kind of been like
Speaker 1: the positive and negatives of being in a relationship and
Speaker 1: being single for however long. Like, yes, when you're in
Speaker 1: a relationship, you can't do everything you want. You have
Speaker 1: to compromise. But then again, when you're single, you get
Speaker 1: so lonely because you just long for that not so
Speaker 1: much just a relationship, but kind of being a part
Speaker 1: of a team. Yeah. I mean, I'm gonna say you
Speaker 1: said there are positives and negatives. I don't really look
Speaker 1: at it with having any negatives single, Yeah, not a
Speaker 1: single one. You don't like the like the feeling of
Speaker 1: having someone always be buy your side. That's what I
Speaker 1: love most about being a relationship with Ashley is that
Speaker 1: it's no longer just about me. It's like I kind
Speaker 1: of have somebody that I'm going through life with because
Speaker 1: life can be really shitty sometimes and it's really nice
Speaker 1: to have that comfort of like, hey, you're gonna be
Speaker 1: right there with me whenever bad times occur. Yes, I
Speaker 1: don't know. And you look like you have you see
Speaker 1: it seems like you have a lot of supportive friends.
Speaker 1: I have a lot of supportive friends obviously for all
Speaker 1: of us too, we have the like our internet quote
Speaker 1: unquote friends, you know, like there's never really also distinguished
Speaker 1: though being in a relationship with somebody and being friends
Speaker 1: with someone though, Like I would never have said the
Speaker 1: same thing about going through life with Ashley when we
Speaker 1: were just friends. Yeah. Now I can understand where you're
Speaker 1: coming from too. I think it's I don't really want
Speaker 1: a conventional life, and so it's for me to uh,
Speaker 1: I think it's harder to find someone that's willing to
Speaker 1: I guess, except those parts of me like they wanted
Speaker 1: to live in a van or the you know, not
Speaker 1: showering every day for everyone. So I know so many
Speaker 1: people who live There's a couple who now they just
Speaker 1: got pregnant and they live in a van. They're like, oh,
Speaker 1: we're gonna have to get a bigger van because now
Speaker 1: we're having a baby. So I'm just, yeah, that's great.
Speaker 1: I love that. Does that person have a sister or
Speaker 1: a niece or well, she does live in l A
Speaker 1: so I can always reach out to her. Actually, you
Speaker 1: know who knows her as our dear friend Nick Bayle. Yeah, yeah, speaking.
Speaker 1: Hold on, I just got it. Uh, I didn't check out.
Speaker 1: I've been checking my phone while we were like talking
Speaker 1: right now, but I just got a link. Two. Um,
Speaker 1: should I not talk about this? Well, you might as
Speaker 1: well drop it now. It's so there. There's a I'm
Speaker 1: assuming that you're alluding to the article about Nick making
Speaker 1: out with a guy, right. I didn't read about it.
Speaker 1: I just saw the title. But you know how titles
Speaker 1: are so misleading. That he was playing on a TV
Speaker 1: show or something. That's exactly what it was. He was
Speaker 1: playing a part that required where he had a kissing
Speaker 1: scene with a guy, and he talks about it with
Speaker 1: the call Your Daddy Girls, which is the podcast on
Speaker 1: Barcelo Sports. Um. And so when I saw that too,
Speaker 1: I felt bad because it is a very misleading. Wait
Speaker 1: a second, let's talk about this year. Have you ever
Speaker 1: kissed a guy before? I have not, deus, Have you
Speaker 1: ever kissed a girl? Absolutely? Yeah, I've kissed guys before,
Speaker 1: Like I mean no, but I've kissed frequently pecks throughout
Speaker 1: the night. Nick was actually one of them. I kissed
Speaker 1: Nick and I heard radio Music Awards in Las Vegas
Speaker 1: like nineteen times one night while we were friends. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you cheated on me. I kissed Alex Bordakov like the
Speaker 1: Thirty Times Friday night at Coachella this past weekend. Well,
Speaker 1: this was a little bit different because he was playing
Speaker 1: for a role. I think he might have been playing
Speaker 1: a game and I'm not sure, but it was like
Speaker 1: a makeout session. It wasn't a peck or anything like that.
Speaker 1: So I mean the question is, have you ever made
Speaker 1: out with a guy? I guess there's never any tongue.
Speaker 1: I thought I can remember at least you know a
Speaker 1: few beers in who knows, So, Jared, you've never kissed
Speaker 1: a guy before? Huh? I have not, come on, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to think if there's I'm sure there's been a
Speaker 1: friend peck, like I'm sure you've probably packed me on
Speaker 1: the lips before, and I'm just not remembering. Would you
Speaker 1: kiss Tom Brady? There you go? No, God Mark, don't
Speaker 1: ask me that on the air. Well, I know I wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I'd grab a beer with Tom Brady. And I've been
Speaker 1: asked this too about like heroes of mine, and there's
Speaker 1: no chance I would do that. I want to just
Speaker 1: be friends, like I want to talk about his six
Speaker 1: Super Bowl championships. You know, that's what I want. I
Speaker 1: mean Tom Brady kisses his kids on the lips. Well, Honestly,
Speaker 1: when Mark asked me, that was the first thing that
Speaker 1: went through my mind was that, Like, I think it's
Speaker 1: you know, to each their own. Because I've seen Tom
Speaker 1: Brady kiss you know, his his his dad and and
Speaker 1: and his son on his lips. So is will now
Speaker 1: the coach. The coach kissed somebody else on the lips.
Speaker 1: I saw that picture too with Belichick was kissing somebody
Speaker 1: I don't remember who was there, you know, huh didn't
Speaker 1: he kiss kraft Win? It was crazy? Was that You're
Speaker 1: just passionate? That's fine? How the topic? Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: you show love in different ways, right, So if Brady
Speaker 1: was like we got together, He's like, hey, bro, I
Speaker 1: love you, and was like, hey, I'm gonna pick your lips,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say. No, peck is different than than
Speaker 1: tonsil hockey. Yeah, I agree. I think no questions that
Speaker 1: you'd make out with him. Yeah, all of the Avengers
Speaker 1: as well. I don't find Janning Tatum that cute. Wow,
Speaker 1: it's also his personality that really just does it for me.
Speaker 1: Step up again and tell different. I mean, I do
Speaker 1: love I do love his personality, but I'm like, okay, yeah, um,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to interrupt, but we do need to take
Speaker 1: a break. Okay, we need to get some emails. Um. Also,
Speaker 1: I wanted to thank Dean for that beautiful, heartfelt text
Speaker 1: response I got from you last night. It was very
Speaker 1: sweet and very kind, and I really you're going to appreciate.
Speaker 1: You're lucky. I'm not in studio. Okay, so I got
Speaker 1: obviously got a lot of birthday sex, very nice. Depending
Speaker 1: on where I was and what I was doing at
Speaker 1: the time it was touched. There was deeper responses sometimes, Mark,
Speaker 1: can you read your Can you read your text message?
Speaker 1: Or can you forward it to me? I could only
Speaker 1: do it with Dean's permission. You can read it. That's fine,
Speaker 1: all right. I sent Dean. This is what I sent
Speaker 1: Dean because it was his birthday yesterday and I'm a
Speaker 1: big fan of Dean, and I just said happy birthday,
Speaker 1: deaners proud to call you my friend, short and sweet.
Speaker 1: He wrote back, Thanks, Mark Wong. That's a long story,
Speaker 1: but I'm super lucky to get to work with someone
Speaker 1: of your caliber, and it is an honor to be
Speaker 1: your friend as well, and then the double high five hands.
Speaker 1: Isn't it nice? Not together apart, hands apart. I sent
Speaker 1: Dean a text too, shall we? I said, all caps,
Speaker 1: happy birthday, five exclamation points, horn cake present balloon emoji
Speaker 1: he sent. He sent back thanks emoji of a little
Speaker 1: man holding his palms to the camera. Is that what
Speaker 1: that is? It really depends on where I was during
Speaker 1: the day. So when eastern text of me was three
Speaker 1: fifty five pm, I was barring a new set of
Speaker 1: golf clubs, and so I was I was preoccupied to that.
Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting her on at all. I was something
Speaker 1: Mark texted me. I think I was between buying clubs
Speaker 1: and going to dinner so they could put a little
Speaker 1: bit more effort into it. And that's a texted me.
Speaker 1: I was at lunch with my manager something like that.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, Mark, what do you want to talk about?
Speaker 1: Take a break, We'll come back al right, guys, I
Speaker 1: got something to talk about. I want to talk about
Speaker 1: sleep number. You've heard me talk about this mattress before. Now.
Speaker 1: Ashley and I we kind of disagree on the firmness
Speaker 1: on our beds and how we like it. But we
Speaker 1: can compromise with Sleep number Now for proving quality sleep,
Speaker 1: there's the Sleep number three sixties smart bed because better
Speaker 1: sleep will certainly change your life. Now, so many couples,
Speaker 1: including actually Ashley, I and I man say that five
Speaker 1: times past. We disagree on mattress firmness all the time.
Speaker 1: But Sleep number three sixty smart beds let you choose
Speaker 1: your ideal firmness on each side, so it's just right
Speaker 1: for the both of you, guys. Now, the Sleep number
Speaker 1: three sixte smart beds are so smart they sense your
Speaker 1: every movement automatically adjust to you, keeping you leap being
Speaker 1: comfortably throughout the night. When you add a flex fit
Speaker 1: smart adjustable base, you can also raise the head or
Speaker 1: foot of the bed for ultimate relaxation. Partners snoring, well,
Speaker 1: there's even an adjustment for that actually doesn't snore, so
Speaker 1: that's not huge problem. I wonder if I snore, Dean?
Speaker 1: Do you know if you snore? Only if I'm drunk? Interesting?
Speaker 1: All right, You guys can come in now and save
Speaker 1: up to a thousand dollars on select Sleep number three
Speaker 1: sixty smart beds when you add a smart adjustable base
Speaker 1: only for a limited time, limited time, though, sleep numbers
Speaker 1: ranked number one in customer Satisfaction with mattresses by JD
Speaker 1: Power for two thousand eighteen Award Information. You can visit
Speaker 1: JD power dot com now you only find sleep number
Speaker 1: at one of their five hundred and seventy five sleep
Speaker 1: number stores nationwide. Now you can visit sleep number dot
Speaker 1: com slash dean to find the one nearest you. Again
Speaker 1: that sleep number dot com slash dean to find one
Speaker 1: of the closest stores near you to get your sleep
Speaker 1: number three sixty smart bed to day. I'm on my
Speaker 1: way there immediately after this podcast as you well, should
Speaker 1: you sleep with your dog at the bed dean? If
Speaker 1: I did, I thought you had uh idea, But she
Speaker 1: doesn't live with me. What's your dog's name? Nala? Nala? Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry because knowledge you know, she's a big girl.
Speaker 1: So if she sleeps on one side and likes to
Speaker 1: bet a little bit firmer, you know, you guys might
Speaker 1: disagree about that. She is big and she is fat,
Speaker 1: that's the truth. Oh, she's just got curves. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: heard love. They have bras and half sizes for your boobies.
Speaker 1: They do. And you know when you go to the
Speaker 1: when you go to stores. Usually it's like a size A, B, C,
Speaker 1: D or double DAN. Then it goes into the double letters.
Speaker 1: But what most brands fail to do is have half
Speaker 1: sized half cup sizes, and that's what Third Love does.
Speaker 1: So Third Love uses data points generated by millions of
Speaker 1: women who have taken their fit Finder quiz to design
Speaker 1: bras with breast size and shape in mind for a
Speaker 1: perfect fit and premium feel. I'm wearing my Third Love
Speaker 1: bra right now and it's so comfortable. Third Love offers
Speaker 1: more than seventy sizes that seven zero seventy sizes, including
Speaker 1: their signature half cup sizes. I'm actually a half cup size.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna tell you my cup size, but I'm
Speaker 1: actually have half cup size. All you gotta do is
Speaker 1: answer a few simple questions and their fit funder quiz
Speaker 1: to find your perfect fit in just sixty seconds. It's
Speaker 1: really that simple and easy. Every customer has sixty days
Speaker 1: to wear it, wash it, put it on, and test
Speaker 1: it out. And if you don't love it, you can
Speaker 1: return it and Third Love will wash it and donated
Speaker 1: to a woman in need. But I'm telling you they're
Speaker 1: so they're super comfortable. You're gonna fall in love with yours.
Speaker 1: Third Love's team of expert fit stylists are dedicated to
Speaker 1: helping you find your perfect fit. Fit stylists are available
Speaker 1: every single day and they're there to help you via text,
Speaker 1: chat or phone, and returns and exchanges are free and
Speaker 1: easy to do. Third Love knows there's a perfect bra
Speaker 1: for everyone, So right now they're offering our listeners fift
Speaker 1: off your first order. All you have to do is
Speaker 1: go to third love dot com slash Vanessa to find
Speaker 1: your perfect fitting bra and get fifteen percent off your
Speaker 1: first purchase. That's a third love dot com slash v
Speaker 1: A n E s s A for off today. Van
Speaker 1: Braws are pretty expensive, right typically, so I'm just saying
Speaker 1: that could be a lot in savings. I mean, and
Speaker 1: you know you want to get different colored bras if
Speaker 1: you're wearing a dark if you're wearing a dark top,
Speaker 1: you want to wear dark colored bra, and vice versa.
Speaker 1: If you're wearing what, you want to get lights. So
Speaker 1: there's multiple brawls you want to get. So yeah, it
Speaker 1: does get expensive. Soft off is a really great deal.
Speaker 1: Didn't you want to sing the song into end the spot?
Speaker 1: Third love dot Com they're good for boobies and half
Speaker 1: sizes and they're so comfortable. Voice of an Angel. So
Speaker 1: a little bit of an interesting situation because Jared's wedding
Speaker 1: obviously is coming up, and Vanessa is joking around about
Speaker 1: maybe not being on the guest list, and she has
Speaker 1: step away gather her thoughts. But we're going to get
Speaker 1: them both back on the phone and discuss the situation. Hi, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: are you doing Vanessa? I'm just sad. No, I just
Speaker 1: I don't want like I texted you. I just don't
Speaker 1: want you to think that I was mad, like I
Speaker 1: get I totally get it. I just Vannessa. You have
Speaker 1: nothing to apologize for or or or trying to explain.
Speaker 1: I totally understand. I wanted to talk to you off
Speaker 1: air about it, um, you know, because it's just obviously
Speaker 1: been on my mind for quite some time as well,
Speaker 1: and trying to handle the situation as best as possible,
Speaker 1: um for everybody involved. But if I'm being honest, most importantly, um,
Speaker 1: both Ashley and I because we just want to, you know, uh,
Speaker 1: make everybody happy, but also make sure that you know
Speaker 1: that day is most importantly about us. UM. So I
Speaker 1: think for a while it's just been weighing on me
Speaker 1: and trying to figure out the right words to say things. Um,
Speaker 1: but I don't know, but we we we can. I
Speaker 1: would love to talk more about it in depth, just
Speaker 1: maybe not here. That's cool. Well, I mean I assume,
Speaker 1: I assume, I mean, I understand, and I guess it's
Speaker 1: I don't want to make an ass out of myself
Speaker 1: by making an assumption. But I'm assuming it's because of
Speaker 1: a particular person and I and I get that. Um,
Speaker 1: And like I said, I'm not I'm not mad, I'm
Speaker 1: not like, I'm not anything. I think I'm mostly just sad. Well,
Speaker 1: I would never want to make you sad, Vanissa, obviously, Um,
Speaker 1: it's not. I mean, it's just sad because um, like
Speaker 1: I said earlier, it's not like a birthday that happens
Speaker 1: once a year. Um. You know, it's like I vouched
Speaker 1: for you guys, and I know he has to, and
Speaker 1: I just I don't want this to become I don't
Speaker 1: want this to become about me, Like, of course, I
Speaker 1: want you and actually to have the most amazing and
Speaker 1: spectacular wedding day with zero stress. Um, and that like
Speaker 1: I want the absolutely amazing wedding day for you guys,
Speaker 1: and if that means me, um, you know, I don't
Speaker 1: want to make it think from afar then like that's
Speaker 1: what it is. But I don't want this to be
Speaker 1: about me. I'm just saying, like, of course, like I
Speaker 1: would have, I would have loved to have witnessed, um,
Speaker 1: the love that you guys have for each other and
Speaker 1: and be there to see it official. But um, I
Speaker 1: guess I don't need to be a part of the
Speaker 1: wedding day to to see the love that you guys
Speaker 1: do have for each other. Well, I also don't want
Speaker 1: to make this um you know. Uh, I appreciate that,
Speaker 1: and you're wonderful saying that, and uh, I think one
Speaker 1: it's so stupid. I really just don't feel comfortable, if
Speaker 1: I'm being honest, talking or even addressing it on the
Speaker 1: podcast right now, because it's just okay, we'll talk, we'll
Speaker 1: talk later, because honestly, I pretty much I wanted to
Speaker 1: talk to you about it, but we hadn't. We haven't
Speaker 1: even done the invitations yet. We haven't even sent anything
Speaker 1: out except for the same of the dates, which does
Speaker 1: not go to everybody invited to the wedding. We went
Speaker 1: to the same the dates to like obviously people were like,
Speaker 1: say the date, make sure you can come, and then
Speaker 1: we're going to send out more invitations to figure out
Speaker 1: exactly who's coming, and so we haven't finalized the guest list.
Speaker 1: I haven't even talked to Nick about this. It's not
Speaker 1: like he is any type of like voice in my ear,
Speaker 1: so he it's it's it's it's honestly only been weighing
Speaker 1: on both Ashley and I, and we've been putting it
Speaker 1: off because it obviously is an uncomfortable conversation to have
Speaker 1: with everybody involved, and it has been weighing on us,
Speaker 1: and we've also been distracted by other parts of the wedding,
Speaker 1: so we've been able to push it off. And now
Speaker 1: obviously we're starting getting into the phase of like, okay,
Speaker 1: we're gonna start doing the invitation send those out within
Speaker 1: the next month month and a half or so. So
Speaker 1: we really have to get an idea of who we're
Speaker 1: inviting and you know, who can't come, just for not
Speaker 1: only just like people being there, but also for number's sake.
Speaker 1: Because the venue that we do have it max is
Speaker 1: out at a hundred eighty. They said we might be
Speaker 1: able to squeeze a couple more in there, so we
Speaker 1: have to really kind of cut down the list, which
Speaker 1: Ashley and I have both been dreading because we know
Speaker 1: that there's certain people who might be assuming they're coming,
Speaker 1: but just because the venue doesn't fit enough people, we
Speaker 1: can't invite everybody. And so it's certainly been, um a
Speaker 1: cloud looming over our heads. And I never would want
Speaker 1: to make you sad. And I'm not even saying who's
Speaker 1: coming or who's not coming right now because I just
Speaker 1: truly don't know. But I also haven't put out in
Speaker 1: the universe you coming, Vanessa, just because I'm just we're
Speaker 1: just trying to put all our ducks in order and
Speaker 1: figure out, um, you know, what's best for everybody involved. Um,
Speaker 1: and and that's really it. But I certainly don't want
Speaker 1: this to become a Nick thing. I it's not. I
Speaker 1: don't want it to become that. He has never said
Speaker 1: anything about it throughout this entire podcast, you know, even
Speaker 1: Dean said off here. It's been kind of crazy that
Speaker 1: this is the first time it's really ever become awkward. Uh,
Speaker 1: you know, because we're obviously good friends with Nick, we're
Speaker 1: friends with you. It's like, oh, this is. Yeah, now
Speaker 1: it's kind of coming to a head, um, and so
Speaker 1: it's a conversation we're all gonna have to have we
Speaker 1: haven't had yet, and unfortunately kind of like just popped
Speaker 1: up on the podcast and on the air and here
Speaker 1: we are. Because I thought, yeah, I thought it was
Speaker 1: I was making a joke until I realized we did
Speaker 1: an answer and I was like, oh, I guess it's
Speaker 1: not a joke. But again, I I don't want to
Speaker 1: make this. This is not about me, and your wedding
Speaker 1: day should never be about other people. Of course, it's
Speaker 1: about you want to share the love, and you want
Speaker 1: to make sure that people who are there are you know,
Speaker 1: the people that you love, and they want to be
Speaker 1: there to witness the love that you guys have. And
Speaker 1: so like I said, if that, if this makes most
Speaker 1: sense to you, I accept that and I'm not again
Speaker 1: I think I was just like more shocked because I
Speaker 1: was making a joke out of it, and um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess I guess I was just more shocked. Um.
Speaker 1: And I didn't say anything. I wasn't lying. I actually
Speaker 1: was putting off a lot of my vacation plans and
Speaker 1: in August because I didn't know what the date was,
Speaker 1: and I was kind of had a feeling. So I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: he hasn't really mentioned anything to me, but I know,
Speaker 1: like other people are talking about it, and I didn't
Speaker 1: get to save the data or anything. So I'm like, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to make it awkward. But then I
Speaker 1: was like, must he must not have my address or something. Um.
Speaker 1: But again, like I get it. It's real life, it happens.
Speaker 1: It's it's a weird world to be a part of.
Speaker 1: And um, I I just want you and actually to
Speaker 1: know how much I do vouch for you guys, and
Speaker 1: how much I do adore you guys as a couple,
Speaker 1: and I can't wait to see how your level grow.
Speaker 1: And well, thank you for that, Vanessa, and thank you
Speaker 1: for being so understanding about everything. But I also want
Speaker 1: to renterrate. I mean, I didn't say anything because we
Speaker 1: just truly don't know. I don't want to kind of
Speaker 1: like make false promises, um. And so that's why I
Speaker 1: was silent then, and kind of you know, have been
Speaker 1: silent up to this point because it's just it's it's
Speaker 1: one of those things where we've been putting off to
Speaker 1: figure out you know, the best way to handle the situation.
Speaker 1: And and I think Ashley and I really need to
Speaker 1: sit down at some point soon, specifically when we're kind
Speaker 1: of putting that final guest list together, and be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: you know, this is what's happening, this is what we're
Speaker 1: gonna do, so on and so forth. Um but like
Speaker 1: you said, it is this weird world that we're a
Speaker 1: part of that has given us so many wonderful things, uh,
Speaker 1: that has really enhanced all of our lives. Um. But
Speaker 1: also if I can give you a little bit of, um,
Speaker 1: I guess reassurance and letting you know that if not
Speaker 1: inviting me is going to give you guys more ease
Speaker 1: on that day than do it like you like do it? Well, well,
Speaker 1: thank you Vanessa for offering that really, and do you
Speaker 1: mean that? I do mean that. I mean I've been
Speaker 1: part of wedding parties, you know, like a lot of
Speaker 1: people in my surroundings have been married, and there's so
Speaker 1: many things after they get married they're like, I wish
Speaker 1: I didn't do that, or you know, there are so
Speaker 1: many things or an emphasis that they put. They put
Speaker 1: so many emphasis on things that minor details that didn't
Speaker 1: really matter at the end of the day, and so
Speaker 1: I know how much of a stress at stressful date
Speaker 1: it can be. Um, so if that's going to ease
Speaker 1: the stress, then I I don't know what the word is,
Speaker 1: like you have my blessing out. Yeah, uh, well, thank
Speaker 1: you for that. But yet again I'll reiterate, we just
Speaker 1: we just don't know. I don't think we've we've um,
Speaker 1: you know, really kind of addressed a bunch of different
Speaker 1: situations and one being that one. But that's injured. Why
Speaker 1: don't we wrap this up and button it up and
Speaker 1: you guys can obviously discuss a little bit off air.
Speaker 1: Maybe we can circle back around to it at a
Speaker 1: later date, but we do have to end the episode. Um.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys for being vulnerable and talking about this.
Speaker 1: I know it's not easy, but jarve yes. At the
Speaker 1: end of the day's all up between all three of us. Uh.
Speaker 1: Big thank you to our listeners out there for taking
Speaker 1: the listen this week. Big thank you to Ken Paige
Speaker 1: for taking the time to speak with us. Be sure
Speaker 1: to check his book out Deeper Dating and his podcast
Speaker 1: Deeper Dating as well. UM. Big thank you to us answers.
Speaker 1: Big thank you to Mark and Easton. As always, big
Speaker 1: thank you to me for celebrating my twenty birthday recently. Yes,
Speaker 1: thank you very much. A big take away from this episode, um,
Speaker 1: you guys are all great. Thank you again once more
Speaker 1: of the listeners. Be sure to tune in next week
Speaker 1: when maybe we will suck a little bit less. Follow
Speaker 1: help by Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared
Speaker 1: on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast