Speaker 1: Ka boom. If you've thought four hours a day, minutes
Speaker 1: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
Speaker 1: of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
Speaker 1: treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
Speaker 1: rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes,
Speaker 1: break free for something special. Fifth Hour with Ben Maller
Speaker 1: starts right now on a Saturday. We are back at
Speaker 1: it again. The podcast machine does not stop turning, does
Speaker 1: not stop turning, eight days a week, eight days a week,
Speaker 1: because four hours a night are not enough. Clearly not
Speaker 1: in office. We are in the air everywhere from a
Speaker 1: secret location in the north Woods. That's being the Saturday podcast,
Speaker 1: and a lot a lot to get to and we
Speaker 1: will get into it right now. Joined again from west
Speaker 1: of the four oh five. David, Get little Hot, Little Hot,
Speaker 1: Little Hot. I'm a little bummed out for this weekend's games.
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously Week one for the NFL is here,
Speaker 1: but Man college football on a Saturday, No, not a
Speaker 1: not a consumer. Well, any game you bet on is
Speaker 1: a good game, so you can always find something to
Speaker 1: wage r. It'll spice it up a little bit. What's
Speaker 1: Alabama got Mercy or Mercer High School. Well, I think
Speaker 1: the teams that play Alabama have need the mercy rules.
Speaker 1: What actually was there for Nick Saban the Clearinghouse. Uh,
Speaker 1: I'm probably done talking college football on the on the
Speaker 1: radio show because I know I did a several monologues
Speaker 1: about college football, and the one I did about Brian
Speaker 1: Kelly that actually that that did pretty well. But the
Speaker 1: other stuff, yeah, that's not so good. You can't be
Speaker 1: surprised though, with that ship right that people don't want
Speaker 1: to hear it, or Brian Kelly, Oh the briant that
Speaker 1: people don't know who old coaches are. Yeah, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: it's disappointing. But you know, like John McCay's is really
Speaker 1: before my time. But I remember when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: we watched these NFL films documentaries and I remember Dick
Speaker 1: Romo called him dial a quote, and like he had
Speaker 1: so many amazing quotes John McKay, And he's been dead
Speaker 1: for a long time and people forget about you and
Speaker 1: life moves on. I get it. But that quote in particular,
Speaker 1: when when he was asked the question what do you
Speaker 1: think of your team's execution? Coach? And he replied, I'm
Speaker 1: in favor of it. See the problem Brian Kelly didn't
Speaker 1: get asked that question, what do you He didn't get
Speaker 1: asked the same same question. But there were so many
Speaker 1: wonderful John McKay quotes from back in the day. And
Speaker 1: he remember when he said the kickers were like horse manure,
Speaker 1: they're all over the plane and uh and uh what
Speaker 1: was some of the other lines He said, we can't
Speaker 1: win at home, we can't win on the road. What
Speaker 1: we need is a neutral site. That was one of
Speaker 1: the uh the ways there and uh, I mean it's
Speaker 1: it's just all of those those zingers and one liners
Speaker 1: um from back back in the day. And he he
Speaker 1: talked about coaching the Bucks when they were an expansion
Speaker 1: team and they had the pewter uniforms and the pirate
Speaker 1: helmet thing and all that, and he said it was
Speaker 1: a religious experience. He says, you do a lot of praying,
Speaker 1: but most of the time the answers no, and uh
Speaker 1: it was it was. And then the other one that
Speaker 1: John McKay is lucky he didn't use this quote. Imagine
Speaker 1: if John mckayd used this quote the Bucks ending you
Speaker 1: know that he was asked about Tampa Bay ending its
Speaker 1: twenty six game losing streak, and he said at the time,
Speaker 1: his quote was three or four plane crashes and we're
Speaker 1: in the playoffs. Remember that, so can you the pussy
Speaker 1: willows on social media if they heard, uh notre dame
Speaker 1: coach Brian Kelly say three or four plane crashes and
Speaker 1: we're in the National Championship game. Oh man. That's the
Speaker 1: problem though, right, because you have all these woke reporters
Speaker 1: now that that virtue signal. But the bitch and moan
Speaker 1: about a guy like Belichick who gives one or two
Speaker 1: word answers, then of course then they're up in air,
Speaker 1: up in arms. When you get Brian Kelly who just
Speaker 1: throws something out there like that, you think you can't
Speaker 1: cut it both ways. Yeah, and it sucks. Uh so,
Speaker 1: but that that did pretty well the other models. I
Speaker 1: did a monologue about the targeting rule that didn't really
Speaker 1: connect about U C L A and the U s
Speaker 1: U c l A L s U game from last weekend.
Speaker 1: You have money on that, right, and uh I did,
Speaker 1: I did all right. But but but the college football thing,
Speaker 1: some people get upset. I know, below the Mason Dixon line.
Speaker 1: We don't talk college football southern freight football on the
Speaker 1: on the radio show. But typically the way the show works,
Speaker 1: uh we yap yap lap lap, we talk mostly the
Speaker 1: NFL because the show's wrapped around the NFL we were
Speaker 1: guaranteed of having during the NFL regular season, there's game
Speaker 1: every Thursday night. We're on Thursday to Friday, so we
Speaker 1: do the post mortem on that, and then Sunday we
Speaker 1: come in and there's reacting to the Sunday games and
Speaker 1: that takes precedence over college football. And then Monday night
Speaker 1: is another night. So then the only time we'd really
Speaker 1: be able to talk college football is Tuesday. But by
Speaker 1: then it's really old, so there has to be some
Speaker 1: kind of scandal or some kind of really amazing story
Speaker 1: that's got legs, which typically does not happen in college football.
Speaker 1: So that's it gets lost in the sholf, is what happens.
Speaker 1: It's a weird pivot for other guys because they will
Speaker 1: tend to stay on it for like seventy two hours,
Speaker 1: which is kind of we We've had guys that have
Speaker 1: worked at the Fox Sports Radio over the years that
Speaker 1: just loved college football and just would do it, and
Speaker 1: they would lead with it and it even on like
Speaker 1: an NFL Monday and it was very very odd. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was very odd. Does not resonate? Yeah, does not
Speaker 1: does not resonate? I agree. So anyway, so that was
Speaker 1: the the college football So you're dead until bowl season. Well, no,
Speaker 1: I'll watch, you understand, Like, even though I don't talk
Speaker 1: about it. I'll watch one or two big games. And
Speaker 1: usually if U c l A is good at USC
Speaker 1: is good, I I used to go to the USC
Speaker 1: games for years and I even went to the u
Speaker 1: c l A games, and so if they have a
Speaker 1: good team and there's something going on there, I'll watch
Speaker 1: that usually, and then I'll watch Alabama because Alabama's a machine.
Speaker 1: And then I'll usually pick one or other one or
Speaker 1: two other games and I'll kind of scan them. Um.
Speaker 1: That's that's typically how that works on a college football weekend.
Speaker 1: But Saturday is one of my my days of rest,
Speaker 1: and so if if I have the the why she's
Speaker 1: working on Saturdays, so I have a hall pass to
Speaker 1: watch college football at least for the first couple of
Speaker 1: months of the season. After that, usually she wants me
Speaker 1: to do stuff with her, so I'll have to watch
Speaker 1: on my phone, not that particular point. Now, do you
Speaker 1: do anything special traditional wise for Week one of the NFL?
Speaker 1: Maybe not the Thursday, but at least the Sunday or
Speaker 1: Sunday night. Do you do a special pizza especially? You know,
Speaker 1: I have that Fugais fasting thing that I usually do. Uh,
Speaker 1: and Sunday has typically been a day that I fast
Speaker 1: the last year, year and a half or something like that.
Speaker 1: But I'll I'll make the rare and appropriate exception to
Speaker 1: h to partake there. But I love making my own
Speaker 1: red Zone channel, and you know, I got a million
Speaker 1: different websites up with them from games. I came to
Speaker 1: game and uh, I try to find the Siciliano of
Speaker 1: feed of the red Zone, but it's easier to find
Speaker 1: that other guy. What's the other guy's name? I get
Speaker 1: to Oh, the one that just signed that the deal
Speaker 1: right for five more years? Yeah, yeah they did. He
Speaker 1: like the generic TV looking guy. Uh, I don't know
Speaker 1: his name. He just looks like like a lot of
Speaker 1: guys have this TV look to him. You know, they
Speaker 1: got the good hair, you know, kind of part of
Speaker 1: their Yeah, easy on the eyes, you know, they got
Speaker 1: to look for the camera. Um, he's so you're trying
Speaker 1: to say, Andrew Siciliano is not that. Look. No, I
Speaker 1: love Andrew Andrews a radio guy, but he's able, he's
Speaker 1: he's grandfathered in now he's been in television long enough
Speaker 1: fathered in, so good for him. Dude doesn't age either.
Speaker 1: He looks as young as hell. Yeah, we should get
Speaker 1: him on the podcast. I have known Andrew. Andrew was
Speaker 1: actually the guy that showed me around, taught me the
Speaker 1: ropes at Fox Sports Radio when I started. He was
Speaker 1: the one that trained me. How old is he? Uh
Speaker 1: he was, he's around my age. He so, but he
Speaker 1: had he had been hired before and so they had
Speaker 1: he was. That was actually before he got I think
Speaker 1: he hadn't been put on the Tony Bruno show yet.
Speaker 1: He was just doing doing updates and stuff. And uh yeah,
Speaker 1: he showed me, showed me the road. And not even
Speaker 1: at the main studio which has been there twenty years.
Speaker 1: We were the Michael Reagan Studio which was up on
Speaker 1: the bank. No, no, it was on the floor right
Speaker 1: across from the what used to be the Art Bell studio.
Speaker 1: The Premier Networks, which is I guess now has become vacant.
Speaker 1: I think George No, no, George Norris in that studio now,
Speaker 1: and then the studio we used to be in is
Speaker 1: now vacant because Fox Sports Radio when they needed to
Speaker 1: shift us a couple of years ago, they shifted us
Speaker 1: to the old studio, which is like nobody's in. So yeah,
Speaker 1: nobody around here anywhere there's there's that. So just I
Speaker 1: have only one nothing really happened eventful this week the
Speaker 1: life of Mallard has some have called it here on
Speaker 1: the Saturday podcast. There's only one thing that mildly I
Speaker 1: feel is rises to the level the podcast no I
Speaker 1: ever covered. My knee has recovered. I did have a
Speaker 1: my my gambling buddy Unter came over and he asked
Speaker 1: to see the corner of the desk. He had heard
Speaker 1: the podcast. He said he wanted to see where the
Speaker 1: actual injury happened. So I pointed out, uh, the and
Speaker 1: I adn't even realized that it's actually it's not just
Speaker 1: would there's a metal drawer that I had taken out
Speaker 1: part of the drawer, and but there's a piece of metal.
Speaker 1: So that's that's actually the thing that cut me was
Speaker 1: the piece of metal, which I didn't even realize it
Speaker 1: just looks like a piece of wood, but there's a
Speaker 1: piece of metal lashed onto it. But there's no drawer there.
Speaker 1: I took the drawer away anyway, so he came in
Speaker 1: and asked. But the only thing that really popped up
Speaker 1: here I had another lengthy fast. I had a almost
Speaker 1: seventy hour fast, sixty nine hour fast. Not doing that
Speaker 1: the brag, but at the end of it, I broke
Speaker 1: it at the Costco food court. A lot of my
Speaker 1: stories revolve around Costco, but a lot of time at Costco.
Speaker 1: I spent more time when they had free samples, but
Speaker 1: they had those briefly and now because of COVID, they
Speaker 1: took those away. I have not seen samples in any
Speaker 1: kind of quantity here recently, but something bizarre happened, so
Speaker 1: I I ordered the traditional meal. I am a purist.
Speaker 1: If you've heard me talk about Costco over the years
Speaker 1: on the podcast of the radio show, I'm a purist.
Speaker 1: I like the hot dog drink combo slice of pizza.
Speaker 1: That is the authentic Costco food court experience, hot dog
Speaker 1: drink which comes together and then slice of pizza. I
Speaker 1: don't live in Canada. I know we've had some Canadian
Speaker 1: listeners who have pointed out that they have chicken fingers
Speaker 1: in Canada. I don't live in Canada, um, so I
Speaker 1: don't have have chacken fingers. So anyway, this was This
Speaker 1: was back on Tuesday and it was pretty busy. Went
Speaker 1: there late in the afternoon, three o'clock, three thirty something
Speaker 1: like that. I ordered my food and you can only
Speaker 1: order at the kiosk at this costco you no human interaction.
Speaker 1: You only order the chiosk. So all the seats were full.
Speaker 1: It was that busy. They didn't have that many seats.
Speaker 1: They've taken some of the seats away. So I ordered
Speaker 1: the food. Then you have to go the way where's
Speaker 1: you order you food, then to walk up to the
Speaker 1: counter and hand your receipt to the person who gives
Speaker 1: you food. So I get my pizza, I get my
Speaker 1: hot dog, I get my drink, and as I'm walking over,
Speaker 1: I see that there has been a seat that has
Speaker 1: opened up, and so I went over. I sat down
Speaker 1: and I put my drink down, I put my my
Speaker 1: pizza down, and then I wanted to put some toppings
Speaker 1: on my hot dog. So I then walked over to
Speaker 1: the the container that I have with mustard, catchup and
Speaker 1: all that stuff, and I want to get some some
Speaker 1: stuff on the sausage. So I walked over there, and uh,
Speaker 1: I wasn't I was there like maybe a minute, and
Speaker 1: it doesn't take long to do that. And I had
Speaker 1: turned my back for maybe thirty seconds, and much to
Speaker 1: my amazement, in the time that I got up walked
Speaker 1: over to put stuff on the hot dog and returned,
Speaker 1: some interloper had sat down at my seat where I
Speaker 1: had left the piece of pizza and the drink which
Speaker 1: was not eating. Pizza was not eating it was just
Speaker 1: I needed yet And uh, I'm still trying to figure
Speaker 1: out how this schmuck what he was thinking. I mean,
Speaker 1: I would never, like I've never do if I see
Speaker 1: somebody putting, if anybody a piece of pizza down in
Speaker 1: a drink, they're saving the seed or whatever. There there's
Speaker 1: somebody's sitting there, and I'd never do that. Fresh pizza,
Speaker 1: pie and a soda anyway. Uh, to me, that's a
Speaker 1: sign that somebody sitting at the table. But so I
Speaker 1: came over. I was pissed. I started huffing and puffing,
Speaker 1: and and then I went back to the table and I, uh,
Speaker 1: I sat down right across from the guy, and I
Speaker 1: gave the guy like this death stare. I grunted. Then
Speaker 1: I give a little side I and the guy had
Speaker 1: this like puzzle look like what it was? What was
Speaker 1: this yours? But but then at that moment when I
Speaker 1: was about to engage, and I thought, I weighed the
Speaker 1: pros and cons is it worth me getting in making
Speaker 1: a scene here? And I looked around. There were a
Speaker 1: lot of people. It was a busy time. And then
Speaker 1: at that moment, two tables over, some guy was getting up.
Speaker 1: So I did a cost benefit analysis and I determined
Speaker 1: at that time it was not in my best interest
Speaker 1: to make a hula balue. So I grabbed the hot dog,
Speaker 1: the piece of pizza, and the drink and sprinted skidaddled
Speaker 1: over to the table that was opened up. So I
Speaker 1: I avoided confrontation. I figured it wasn't it wasn't gonna
Speaker 1: be worth it to scream and shout at the guy
Speaker 1: with the pizza so or the guy that that took
Speaker 1: my my My sat my seat at the table because
Speaker 1: he's a douche. Guy said, that guy's a douche, and
Speaker 1: I moved on. Now, Uh, one thing, one thing, I
Speaker 1: would like to do. One thing I would like to
Speaker 1: do now is the Proper Palooza. This is a tradition
Speaker 1: on the podcast. I used to do this on the
Speaker 1: radio show, but since football season NFL season, really I
Speaker 1: don't there was a game on Thursday, but it really
Speaker 1: begins on Sunday, and this being Saturday. So I love
Speaker 1: the exotic prop bets, and I thought this would be
Speaker 1: the perfect spot for a bunch of exotic exotic bets,
Speaker 1: and so we'll we'll do a few that A few
Speaker 1: of these the first coach to be fired. These are
Speaker 1: collected from random mostly off shore books. A lot of
Speaker 1: these are from off shore books. Now, first coach to
Speaker 1: be fired, Cliff Kingsbury is tied with Matt Naggy for
Speaker 1: the third option at plus seven fifty. Mike McCarthy in
Speaker 1: Dallas is plus seven hundred. Vic Fangio is actually the favorite.
Speaker 1: Uncle Vic in Denver is at plus five hundred. Now
Speaker 1: that the guy that should be at the very top
Speaker 1: of this is not in the top three, and that
Speaker 1: would be Zach Taylor of the Bengals, but he is
Speaker 1: coming in at number five, actually number four on the
Speaker 1: on the list. I guess whether there's a tie, so
Speaker 1: is either four or five, depending on how you know it.
Speaker 1: But Zach Taylor has been just useless. The Bengals are
Speaker 1: a joke and they're expecting Joe Burrow to lead them
Speaker 1: to some kind of competitive football and if they continue
Speaker 1: to suck, you gotta get rid of him. But the
Speaker 1: Bengals are an old school franchise there cheap, known not
Speaker 1: to make in season moves, So good luck, right, I'm
Speaker 1: who do you think the first coach is gonna get fired? Well,
Speaker 1: the Broncos are pretty much run by a trust, so
Speaker 1: I don't consider them a legitimate option. Jerry Jones has
Speaker 1: been surprisingly pigheaded with coaches. If he wouldn't get rid
Speaker 1: of the Clapper. If he fires McCarthy mid season, he
Speaker 1: would be admitting that he totally screwed up. A name
Speaker 1: that's on here, and I like this guy. He's been
Speaker 1: very good the Gamblers over the years. Is Mike Zimmer
Speaker 1: in Minnesota. The Vikings had a miserable exhibition season. They
Speaker 1: were mediocre last year. I know Zimmer did get a
Speaker 1: contract extension, but they've been local kind of just lulling around,
Speaker 1: treading water in mediocrity. And if they have a rock
Speaker 1: bottom season again, and Zimmer is a defensive coach and
Speaker 1: their defense wasn't very good last year, and that they've
Speaker 1: got issues. People are are out to get Kirk Cousins
Speaker 1: because he's an anti vax guy and people are out
Speaker 1: to him trying to tear him down. And there's a
Speaker 1: lot of like weird stuff going around about the Vikes.
Speaker 1: I would put Zimmer higher up. He's plus nine hundred.
Speaker 1: Gruten's on here. I don't think that's why they're gonna happen.
Speaker 1: He's got the forever contract. And then there's always the
Speaker 1: wild card possibility of one of these dopes getting involved
Speaker 1: in a scandal, whether it be personal, financial, criminal, and
Speaker 1: then they were to the very top. But the three
Speaker 1: coaches that are said to have the longest odds obvious
Speaker 1: one Belichick, Tomlin. Uh No, Tomlin actually is in the
Speaker 1: middle on this plus hundred. He's got the same odds
Speaker 1: as Matt Rule, Caroline. Do you even yeah, Matt Rule
Speaker 1: the Carolina coach there, So they have about I have
Speaker 1: fired Mike Tomlin every other year for the last eight years.
Speaker 1: I fired Mike Toms fired him last year. I did
Speaker 1: fire him last year. I fired him three years Ago.
Speaker 1: I think I fired him, Yeah, I fired him. He's
Speaker 1: a good sound bite. But the Steelers have not They've
Speaker 1: didn't been stuck in that we're a playoff team but
Speaker 1: not really a real super Bowl threat type situation or
Speaker 1: a number of you who did you say? What other
Speaker 1: name were you mentioned? Uh? Sean Payton is plus twenty hundred.
Speaker 1: He has these same odds as Sean McVeigh. Sean mcveigh's
Speaker 1: not getting Ron Rivera. Sean McVeigh, Sean Payton all in
Speaker 1: that group. John Harbaugh is in that group. Am I
Speaker 1: missing something out of that division where people are are
Speaker 1: expecting Dallas to just walk away with it? Well, that happens.
Speaker 1: The Cowboys every year get hyped up. Jerry Jones is
Speaker 1: the master hype man. So and the Cowboy fans are
Speaker 1: always delusional anyway, I know. But this is like a
Speaker 1: public favorite and so, but you have all them, you
Speaker 1: have both networks Fox and ESPN at nauseum. I understand
Speaker 1: that you know it's America's team or whatever, but it's
Speaker 1: not even that like to me. It's first of all,
Speaker 1: it's the fact they have stars and and and they
Speaker 1: have a star in their helmet and Washington the team
Speaker 1: that used to be called the Redskins. They have a
Speaker 1: pretty good defense, but they don't have stars. There's no
Speaker 1: you know, like, you can't really be a big star
Speaker 1: on defense and on offense, we've got Ryan Fitzpatrick. You
Speaker 1: nobody gets excited about Ryan fitzpat Trick as your quarterback.
Speaker 1: You don't get fired up and said, that's the team
Speaker 1: that's going to make the playoffs and that. But if
Speaker 1: he could play marginal football, marginal football, they're winning that division. No,
Speaker 1: I agree, And I think Washington is going to be
Speaker 1: a similarly good team. I think they'll be better than
Speaker 1: last year because the defense, well, it will be even
Speaker 1: better as they continue to it's like a wine maturing.
Speaker 1: Some of those younger guys keep getting more confidence and
Speaker 1: get better, so they'll get better. But given the fact
Speaker 1: that you have Fitzpatrick that is a schizophrenic at the
Speaker 1: quarterback position, do you fear putting money on them? Well,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't bet on like an overall win total on
Speaker 1: Washington because Ryan Fitzpatrick will be the top. The same
Speaker 1: thing happens every time he says he's really good for
Speaker 1: four or five games. When that fitz magic thing happened,
Speaker 1: in Tampa a couple of years ago, and he was
Speaker 1: doing he came out dressed like Connor McGregor the news
Speaker 1: conference and all that. It was great. And then like
Speaker 1: a month later he was taking a ride on the
Speaker 1: Vomit Comte and was it was terrible. So but it's
Speaker 1: it's really by process of elimination in the NFC East,
Speaker 1: because you figure Philadelphia is not even trying chance with
Speaker 1: Nick Serriani, and then the Giants are in this weird
Speaker 1: spot where they are seemingly trying and Joe Judge is
Speaker 1: one of those guys that seems like the kind of
Speaker 1: guy that you would pull for, like in theory. But
Speaker 1: they have Daniel Jones who sucks and s Kwon Barkley
Speaker 1: is questionable now from here on out. Yeah, well he's
Speaker 1: a running back and so he's always uh game time
Speaker 1: decision week after we anyway. So that's those are the
Speaker 1: odds of the first coach to be fired. Let's see
Speaker 1: most new quarterback passing yards Week one, Stafford. Stafford is
Speaker 1: actually second. Jamis Winston is the favorite at plus two
Speaker 1: fifth against the Green Bay Packers. I would not bet
Speaker 1: on Winsteon for two reasons. Number One, if you look
Speaker 1: at the samet depth depth. They don't have Michael Thomas.
Speaker 1: He's not gonna play for the first month or so
Speaker 1: of the season, at least it would seem. And the
Speaker 1: wide receivers don't have the wild factor. Now Alvin Kamara
Speaker 1: will get you a lot of yards after the catch,
Speaker 1: and Winston has a bazooka. The Packers defensively aren't horrific
Speaker 1: right there. They've got a decent defense in Green Bay.
Speaker 1: Stafford Ryan Fitzpatrick actually is the third option among the
Speaker 1: quarterbacks that changed teams. The lowest option is obviously Andy Dalton.
Speaker 1: I would put Dalton the head of Tyrod Taylor because
Speaker 1: he sinks and and he's gonna be well. Fuller's out,
Speaker 1: he's out for a game with a suspension, So they
Speaker 1: have nobody there. Their win totals four and I don't
Speaker 1: know how it hits four. The Texans, Yeah, this is
Speaker 1: this is a tough game to start because he's that's
Speaker 1: a winnable game. On Sunday, Texans and Jags. I like
Speaker 1: Jacksonville in the game, as we talked about on Benny
Speaker 1: versus the Penny. I like Jacksonville. I think Urban will
Speaker 1: be okay, and the Texans are a bad team, and
Speaker 1: I don't Trevor Lawrence. I think we'll get off to
Speaker 1: a decent start, and all you need is decent to
Speaker 1: beat the Texans. But that is a messed up situation.
Speaker 1: Which rookie quarterback will have the most passing yards week?
Speaker 1: One of the three top hot shot rookie quarterbacks starting
Speaker 1: Trevor Lawrence, Mac mac Jones, Zack Wilson. Lawrence is the
Speaker 1: favorite at plus one Jacksonville's. I think they got a
Speaker 1: pretty good running game going there. At least it got
Speaker 1: some some value in the running game. I I would
Speaker 1: take a flyer with Zax Sison. I would be very
Speaker 1: surprised if mac Jones does does much gaudy in the
Speaker 1: passing year. I think Belichick is gonna gonna dumb down
Speaker 1: the play book a lot of running. The Patriots gonna
Speaker 1: be more of a running team here in the Max
Speaker 1: gonna need a lot of yak a lot of yards
Speaker 1: after catching the Patriots, even though they're better at the
Speaker 1: white opposition, I do not see a lot of yakty
Speaker 1: yak for for those guys like Jack Wilson. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: just because you figured they're gonna be trailing anyway, I
Speaker 1: don't know about that. They're playing Carolina. Carolina is to
Speaker 1: meet Carolina is not that good, and they have Sam Donald.
Speaker 1: So the count. The counter argument that is that Sam
Speaker 1: Donald is good for one or two mistakes that in
Speaker 1: that short yardage turnovers and so you're not gonna have
Speaker 1: a long field to rack up the passing yards. Al right,
Speaker 1: first player to miss a game due to COVID nineteen protocols.
Speaker 1: So this is not getting COVID. This is violating the protocol.
Speaker 1: So this means you're unvaccinated. Lamar Jackson is the favorite
Speaker 1: at plus four hundred, Cole Beasley at plus five, Kirk
Speaker 1: Cousins at plus five seventy five, Adam Feeling. I guess
Speaker 1: he's not vaccident. I don't know. I don't really obsess
Speaker 1: with that, but some people do. Plus six hundred, DeAndre
Speaker 1: Hopkins plus six, Joe Mixon at plus six fifty. What
Speaker 1: you should do, Gascon is put together an unvaxed fantasy team.
Speaker 1: There's enough guys that you could have. Feeling Hopkins, Now,
Speaker 1: which quarterback Joe Mixon will be your running back? Alan
Speaker 1: Rob You're gonna have naj Harris though, Naga Harris then
Speaker 1: Christian McCaffrey's not vaccinated. Apparently he's on the list. So
Speaker 1: what defense? Then that's a good question. San Francisco, who's
Speaker 1: oh yeah, because Abosa? Is he not? Maybe? Is he
Speaker 1: not vaccident? I don't know who. I really don't keep
Speaker 1: track of it. I don't really care whether your vaccinating
Speaker 1: or not. So wh who are the people that are
Speaker 1: not vaccinated? On defense? I know the offensive guys because
Speaker 1: the media about them. Maybe Tennessee. Did Tennessee have like
Speaker 1: seven guys or nine guys that were out including Rabel?
Speaker 1: Yeah he had it, but I think he was vaccinated,
Speaker 1: thank you. I'd have to do some more research on that.
Speaker 1: But there's some good white outs. You could have DeAndre Hopkins,
Speaker 1: Allen Robinson and feeling uh and Cole Beasley you know
Speaker 1: he's not that good, but DeAndre Hopkins feeling just right there,
Speaker 1: Matt McCaffrey in the backfield, and Lamar Jackson. You're gonna win,
Speaker 1: You're gonna win. The unvaxed team will beat the vax team.
Speaker 1: I need an unvaxed kicker and good look on that.
Speaker 1: I don't no the kickers. How many kickers could you name?
Speaker 1: Are these in da Hoss brothers ayans manus default even
Speaker 1: my def Minitary's gone for twenty something years. It was
Speaker 1: Adam Vinitary and then it was the guy that replaced
Speaker 1: Vinitary who was also gone. The guy was with the
Speaker 1: Tennessee Titans last year. It was a guy's name Ryan
Speaker 1: suck Up. No, no, no, not suck Up. There was
Speaker 1: the other guy that was the old Patriot kicker that
Speaker 1: whom are the type of Gostkowski? Yeah, Stephen Gaskowski. I
Speaker 1: think he's out of the NFL. Now. Think they do
Speaker 1: my my Kicker depth chart. Make it do Chicago's defense
Speaker 1: the Bears. Yeah, maybe they don't seem like a lot
Speaker 1: of guys that will be faxed. Uh. Yeah, it's some
Speaker 1: name name players there that reminds me since Week one
Speaker 1: is already here. Who won? Um? Who won the U
Speaker 1: the infamous yearly um? Uh? Fantasy Pool with you guys.
Speaker 1: I believe Eddie one. Oh, I don't know. I think
Speaker 1: Coop has to. Maybe he crunched the numbers and I forgot,
Speaker 1: But I think I think Eddie. Eddie had like a
Speaker 1: rash of guys that got got in trouble with the
Speaker 1: law and I'm I'm done. Handicap and that every year.
Speaker 1: I spent hours handicapping it and what's the point. What's
Speaker 1: the point? As Dick Stockton taught us, he taught me
Speaker 1: and I passed it on. Is it that to tell
Speaker 1: you what has happened, not what's going to happen? It's
Speaker 1: one of the great lines ever. Have you stolen that
Speaker 1: as your own? No? No, you know what it said.
Speaker 1: Fortunate no one's picked up on that bit nashally though,
Speaker 1: because there's got to be some virtue signaling reporter that
Speaker 1: has to be appalled by that segment that yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we we we get told every once in a while. Well,
Speaker 1: as soon as the uh, the lunar tune, luny tunes,
Speaker 1: you start obsessing about this, we'll have to cancel the segment.
Speaker 1: I had a producer I will not reveal the prucer's
Speaker 1: name that made us stop doing one of my favorite
Speaker 1: bits on the show during NASCAR, which lap will Dana
Speaker 1: erect and we would pick like five random laps during
Speaker 1: the course of a NASCAR race and inevitably we we
Speaker 1: would get very close or have a winner every week.
Speaker 1: It was very rare that danikad finished the race and
Speaker 1: a producer I had back in the day that said, hey,
Speaker 1: you can't do that because she she could die in
Speaker 1: one of these recks, and then if she dies, they're
Speaker 1: gonna go back and say it was what lap will
Speaker 1: she reckon? You know? I was like, come on, yeah,
Speaker 1: and Fox obviously has a good partnership with NASCAR, so
Speaker 1: that's really good. So who came up with that idea?
Speaker 1: Was that yours? That was I think it was a
Speaker 1: It was my idea. I was inspired by a listener
Speaker 1: if I remember correct. Uh, and we went We went
Speaker 1: with that, all right. Moving on a few other proper puloosers.
Speaker 1: Here we have will a team fourfeited game to COVID No.
Speaker 1: No's minus five thousand. Yes is plus one thousand. That
Speaker 1: implies a nine point one percent chance. Will DeShawn Watson
Speaker 1: be active for a game this year? Yes? Is plus
Speaker 1: one fifty That implies at chance, I don't think he
Speaker 1: will be. I'm gonna go with no, which is minus
Speaker 1: two hundred minus two hundred on that. How many players
Speaker 1: will be suspended during the regular season over under four
Speaker 1: that's close, that's right around where it usually is. I'll
Speaker 1: go I'll go under to be different. How many NFL
Speaker 1: players will be arrested during the regular season. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go under under minus my unders five five point five.
Speaker 1: Take the under, which will be higher. Los Angeles team wins, Rams,
Speaker 1: Chargers or New York based teams. They're they're talking to
Speaker 1: New York City here, so that even though they play
Speaker 1: in New Jersey. The Giants and the Jets, well, that's oh,
Speaker 1: I think they might. Yeah, maybe they have the bills
Speaker 1: in there all that they have to write. Nobody would Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you figured the Bills are gonna be good for
Speaker 1: ten or eleven. At least the Jets and Giants combine
Speaker 1: might win seven seventeen games, so maybe they win seven
Speaker 1: or eight. So if the Bills win ten, I'm taking
Speaker 1: the Alants Rams. The Rams is like a twelve and
Speaker 1: five type. Yeah. I think the Charges are winning ten,
Speaker 1: Charges winning ten, so that will put them at the twenty. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it seems it seems about right. Uh. Super Bowl champion
Speaker 1: will come from rich Which state a red state or
Speaker 1: a blue state? It's tough for you. Why is that?
Speaker 1: Because I have the blue state the blue state. Here's
Speaker 1: the question, though, what's that if a recall goes through
Speaker 1: here in a couple of days, it becomes a red
Speaker 1: does become a red state, well, the governor becomes here.
Speaker 1: But Florida, I believe it or not, is the favorite.
Speaker 1: That's just because if they have the most teams, well,
Speaker 1: they have Tampa Dolphins or Jacksonville is going to Tampa.
Speaker 1: California second, Rams, Chargers and Niners. Third is Missouri with
Speaker 1: the Chiefs. Maryland they have two teams. They have the
Speaker 1: Washington football team and the Ravens. The state with the
Speaker 1: worst odds should be easy. I'm gonna say Las Vegas. Uh,
Speaker 1: that's that's a city. Uh No, it's Michigan Giants plus
Speaker 1: fifteen thousand, Carolina North Carolina at plus eight thousands tied,
Speaker 1: same odds with Georgia or the I don't know, same
Speaker 1: ads with the Nevada. Rather, the Raiders are plus eight thousand.
Speaker 1: Georgia with the Falcons is plus seventy. Illinois plus sixty
Speaker 1: six hundred, So that those are some of the odds.
Speaker 1: I like California. I actually do like the Chargers, Rams
Speaker 1: and the fort but all l A super Bowl in
Speaker 1: l A, Chargers Rams in Los Angeles, well in Inglewood
Speaker 1: in the hood. Now can you imagine the uniform combination too?
Speaker 1: For that m M would be good. That's the first
Speaker 1: team to lose. First team to lose a Buccaneers or
Speaker 1: the Chiefs. I have to look at the schedule on
Speaker 1: this one. I've not looked at the I would assume
Speaker 1: the Chiefs have a tougher schedule because they are minus
Speaker 1: one fifty and the Buccaneers are plus one ten on
Speaker 1: that first team to win, Lions or Texans. Detroit Texans
Speaker 1: are minus one fifty yea because people think they got
Speaker 1: shot against. At least golf can win you a game,
Speaker 1: right like golf can get you one. Last undefeated team,
Speaker 1: last undefeated team. This is a surprise. It's it's not
Speaker 1: Tampa Bay second at plus sixty six fifty. The forty Niners.
Speaker 1: The forty Niners are the They have the the top
Speaker 1: outs at plus six hundred. Wow in that Division two.
Speaker 1: That's interesting. Yeah, So let's go to the schedule here
Speaker 1: and see they must play the hostess schedule to start
Speaker 1: the year. The Forts a regular season schedule. No, it's not.
Speaker 1: They played the Lions and the Eagles the first two weeks,
Speaker 1: so that those should be gimmis. Although I like the
Speaker 1: Lions is a sneaky good underdog play I don't think
Speaker 1: the Niners should be favored by that much over the Lions.
Speaker 1: And then they play Green Bay at home Seattle little so,
Speaker 1: I don't know why the forty Niners are the top
Speaker 1: choice on that and decimated last year because of injuries though,
Speaker 1: my Manya, and that was last year, my man, and
Speaker 1: it's a brand new year. I think they'll be good
Speaker 1: this year. I think that's an eleven win football team,
Speaker 1: the Niners. I don't. I don't know. They'll end up
Speaker 1: having the usual injuries. They don't have the depth. Hell,
Speaker 1: their secondary doesn't have any depth. They brought in Josh Norman.
Speaker 1: A bad sign when a week before the season you're
Speaker 1: bringing in Josh Norman, who's has been good in six years.
Speaker 1: Tell you what I'm I'm just licking my chops to
Speaker 1: see Kyler Murray run wild this reason here he could
Speaker 1: have a monster, little Kyler. He's gonna have a great
Speaker 1: here under the Is it gonna be the same thing?
Speaker 1: You're gonna text me every time he has a good game,
Speaker 1: and then he doesn't have a good game, your phone
Speaker 1: will be shut off and be on airplane mode? Is
Speaker 1: that how this is gonna work? My photo is so
Speaker 1: bad my airplane mode does not even work. No, really,
Speaker 1: you don't have airplane mode. Yeah, when you put it on,
Speaker 1: it's still I still get calls and text messages. It's awful.
Speaker 1: I got you, I got you. There's a bunch of
Speaker 1: other props and we don't need to get in like that.
Speaker 1: Those are the good ones. Those are the juicy ones.
Speaker 1: I love the exotic props. Yes, and it's a tradition,
Speaker 1: yet another Mallard proper palooza on this the Fifth Hour podcast.
Speaker 1: And we'll have the mail bag on Sunday, Sunday Sunday,
Speaker 1: and we'll put the baby to bed. If you missed
Speaker 1: the Friday podcast, Ah, if it goes without saying, you
Speaker 1: better listen. And this is that was a rare get
Speaker 1: on the Friday podcast. Yeah, you'll know what I mean
Speaker 1: when you go back and and download the Friday podcast.
Speaker 1: But anyway, I have a great rest of your Saturday
Speaker 1: niting and remote guest Twitter handals. Uh. Yeah, if you
Speaker 1: have Ben Mallor on Twitter and you're if you haven't,
Speaker 1: If you haven't dvyard episode one of season three of
Speaker 1: The American Crime Story, go ahead and do that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I had had people point out they saw you had
Speaker 1: some emails saying, hey, I saw a guest on The Disheveled,
Speaker 1: so you there were people watching the show? How did
Speaker 1: the show? Do? Do you know? How the show? Do
Speaker 1: you know? It's weird. The two reporters that you mentioned,
Speaker 1: both of them I think got cut out or no,
Speaker 1: one of the two got cut out. Oh and the
Speaker 1: other one only had one line. It was interesting. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I didn't watch it. Come on, you watch
Speaker 1: did it? Why would you not watch? Because I don't
Speaker 1: want I don't want to watch myself. You don't listen
Speaker 1: to yourself after the show's over, do you? No? But
Speaker 1: you you don't have to listen. You could like turn
Speaker 1: you could have the TV on and have the sound down.
Speaker 1: Yeah you do that? Yeah yeah yeah. Anyway, Uh, listen,
Speaker 1: have a great rest of your Saturday. Will be back
Speaker 1: on Sunday with a big mail bag and we will
Speaker 1: catch you then.