1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hartunger. 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger. 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: On the side, we are two working parents who love 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both 10 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:38,360 Speaker 1: worlds with Sarah interviewing Tanisha Warner about ninety day goals 11 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: and how we can have a concentrated push for achieving 12 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,640 Speaker 1: the big things we want to do. So, Sarah, have 13 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 1: you ever done any ninety day goals? I don't think 14 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 1: I've used that particular structure that often, but I love 15 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: the idea of it. Actually, when I thought back into 16 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,959 Speaker 1: when I've ever made like a very specific plan for 17 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 1: about a three month time period, the only thing that 18 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: came to mind was board prep. Because when you're studying 19 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: for your US medical boards, and there's this step one, 20 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,240 Speaker 1: and there's step two. There's also step three, but step 21 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,440 Speaker 1: three does not involve that much studying anyway. It's like 22 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:20,040 Speaker 1: months long of just doing practice questions and studying, and 23 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,040 Speaker 1: you have to be very structured and strategic about it, 24 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 1: and I definitely was both times. Like I literally had 25 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,759 Speaker 1: like a schedule every single and many med schools actually 26 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 1: give you time off to do that, and you could 27 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:33,440 Speaker 1: certainly waste that time, or you could be like crazy 28 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 1: and have a very structured schedule and are not crazy, 29 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 1: but you know what I mean. Anyway, I was very 30 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 1: intense with that. It paid off. I got great scores 31 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:44,120 Speaker 1: that I used to go into a very non competitive field. 32 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:45,760 Speaker 1: So I don't know why I spent all that time, 33 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 1: but it worked out really well anyway, And yeah, I'm 34 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 1: glad I did it, and it showed me that you 35 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 1: can do something like that in like a really big 36 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 1: push in a structured way. I guess marathon training, but 37 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 1: that's usually I mean, it's not like your whole day, 38 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 1: so it doesn't feel quite as much like a ninety 39 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,400 Speaker 1: day push. Yeah, but I mean you could still have 40 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,560 Speaker 1: a ninety day push that involves an hour a day, 41 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:08,640 Speaker 1: I mean, and many things might be even more doable 42 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 1: if that's the requirement you give for yourself. Yeah. Now, 43 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 1: I was thinking about this too, and I was sort 44 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: of like, d I don't know if I've done a 45 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,359 Speaker 1: ninety two push. But of course, for years I set 46 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 1: the quarterly goals, right, you know that each quarter I 47 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,400 Speaker 1: have another goal, and some of them are just sort 48 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 1: of one off, like do mommy days with three kids, 49 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 1: and you know that's not going to involve something all 50 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 1: ninety days, but certain other things like I wrote the 51 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,720 Speaker 1: draft of Tranquility by Tuesday and roughly ninety days over 52 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:34,080 Speaker 1: the summer, I had a schedule of a chapter a week, 53 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:37,520 Speaker 1: with some time off for vacations, and did in fact 54 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:41,080 Speaker 1: get the thing done. You know, I've done National novel 55 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,200 Speaker 1: writing a month a few times. That's an even shorter push, 56 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 1: but you you know, commit to getting the novel written 57 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: in thirty days. But obviously giving yourself ninety days would 58 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,120 Speaker 1: have allowed for a little more leeway. So, you know, 59 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,920 Speaker 1: I love the idea and certainly think that ninety days 60 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,959 Speaker 1: is a you know, it's got a lot going for it. 61 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 1: It is close enough to see the finish line, like 62 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 1: it's not you know, ten years from now, which is 63 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,239 Speaker 1: hard to get your head around. But on the other hand, 64 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,080 Speaker 1: it is long enough to make significant progress on a 65 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 1: great many things. I mean, you know you can. You 66 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: can do a lot in ninety days. So I'm a 67 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,480 Speaker 1: big fan of the concept. Can't wait to hear what 68 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 1: she has to say. All right, well let's go to 69 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 1: the interview then. Well, I am so excited to welcome 70 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 1: Tanisha Jackson Warner on this show. I was so inspired 71 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,799 Speaker 1: when I read about her ninety day program and how 72 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:31,440 Speaker 1: she's gotten into a major career pivot. She runs a 73 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: big marketing company, which she can tell us a little 74 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:35,920 Speaker 1: bit more about, because I'm sure I just described her 75 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: position poorly. But yes, welcome Tanisha. I'm so excited to 76 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 1: have you on the show. Hi, Sarah, I am so 77 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:47,400 Speaker 1: excited to be here. I truly appreciate your energy, especially 78 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:49,600 Speaker 1: at the end of the day. You have a very 79 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,640 Speaker 1: nice calm. You're gonna have to share your secret with 80 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 1: our listeners. I try. I can't tell you I'm calm 81 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 1: all the time, but I try. I love it. Well, 82 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 1: tell everybody a little bit about your work origin story, 83 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:08,240 Speaker 1: because you yourself underwent I think, a big career pivot 84 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 1: and then used some of that learning to really help 85 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,760 Speaker 1: others and bring forth the company that you now run. 86 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 1: So tell us a little bit about your journey. So 87 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,719 Speaker 1: my journey, I can't believe it, Sarah. But when I 88 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:23,840 Speaker 1: think back, my journey started almost two decades ago. Can 89 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:27,039 Speaker 1: you believe that not a part from the way you look? 90 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:31,800 Speaker 1: So no, And basically, here's the thing you need to know. 91 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:37,120 Speaker 1: When I graduated college, I chose a career path based 92 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 1: on earning potential. So I went into tech. I was 93 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 1: working with IBM Global Services. I was there for a 94 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:49,920 Speaker 1: number of years, climbing the corporate ladder right, and although 95 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 1: it looked like success from the outside, there was one 96 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:59,800 Speaker 1: big problem in the inside. I realized that I wasn't fulfilled. 97 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 1: That I basically chose a career on earning potential with 98 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 1: little to no regard for passion or purpose. So that 99 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:15,119 Speaker 1: was like my big AHA moment of Hey, your big 100 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 1: decision and driving force around this major decision is solely 101 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 1: based on earning potential. What about passion? What about purpose? 102 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 1: And I made a promise to myself that I was 103 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: willing to redesign a life. I'm going to say a 104 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:33,080 Speaker 1: life because it just wasn't professional. It's professional on purpose, 105 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:39,560 Speaker 1: but redesign a life based on purpose, and that started 106 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 1: me on the pivot of leaving my corporate job. That 107 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 1: was not a big popular decision with my grandmother, who 108 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,039 Speaker 1: felt like I had a great, good, good, good job. 109 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 1: But I took a leap of faith. I stretched and 110 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 1: I redesigned the path based on passion and purpose. That 111 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 1: must have been such a scary jump to take. So 112 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,840 Speaker 1: how long had you been in the corporate world and 113 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 1: what was your process? Did you have a plan when 114 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,160 Speaker 1: you left or was it just sort of like, no, 115 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 1: I'm I'm going to find myself and just see what happens. 116 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 1: What was that like? Okay, the process went from first 117 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:19,480 Speaker 1: being connected enough to myself to realize that I wasn't fulfilled, 118 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,839 Speaker 1: that something was missing, and I like to stop there 119 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 1: because it's so easy for us to be on a 120 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 1: cycle where we're not spending time with what I call 121 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:32,159 Speaker 1: the dreamer in the mirror to determine if the path 122 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 1: that you're own, if it's really working for you. So 123 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,920 Speaker 1: I think that was step one, step two. Once I 124 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:42,560 Speaker 1: was able to admit that to myself, then I almost 125 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:47,160 Speaker 1: treated myself like a project. And my question was, well, 126 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,599 Speaker 1: if you're not passionate about this, what are you passionate about. 127 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 1: I got a journal and I just started to jot 128 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:57,599 Speaker 1: down everything that made my heart sort of beat fast. 129 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: I didn't challenge myself to make it make sense. But 130 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 1: I knew I was passionate about passion. I knew I 131 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 1: was passionate about my community. I knew I was passionate 132 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 1: about different cultural trends. I just really wrote down all 133 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 1: of these different areas that I was passionate. Once that 134 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 1: list was there, again, I didn't try to make it 135 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:21,200 Speaker 1: make sense. But once the list was there, I started 136 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 1: researching careers in those passion buckets. And I mean it 137 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:29,200 Speaker 1: was almost like a job within itself. And if I 138 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:32,440 Speaker 1: found something that was interesting to me, I would actually 139 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 1: reach out to people and say, hey, I noticed that 140 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,840 Speaker 1: you're doing this. Would you mind doing a twenty minute 141 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 1: informational interview with me to learn about this particular role 142 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:45,080 Speaker 1: of projects. I did that a while. I met so 143 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: many different types of people. I also, in this phase, 144 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:54,360 Speaker 1: said I am going to be willing to volunteer to 145 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,240 Speaker 1: like really get my feet wet in some of these 146 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:01,400 Speaker 1: areas without making the full leap. So I volunteered on 147 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,240 Speaker 1: a movie set because entertainment was one of the things 148 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:07,160 Speaker 1: that I liked. I volunteered in the fashion department. I 149 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,800 Speaker 1: realized I like fashion, but I liked doing fashion for 150 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 1: me and not others. So I checked that off and 151 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 1: I just continue to volunteer, and I eventually got an 152 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 1: opportunity to volunteer and Rush Communications. This was a company 153 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:26,920 Speaker 1: led by Kimora Simmons and Russell Simmons, and this company 154 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 1: was like in the heart of hip hop culture, entertainment, 155 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:36,559 Speaker 1: pop culture. And that's when I said, this is it, 156 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:40,880 Speaker 1: Like I want to be in this area. And that's 157 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 1: a long story. There was nothing traditional about my decision 158 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 1: because eventually I left my paying corporate job and started 159 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,559 Speaker 1: working at this company in a volunteer basis full time. 160 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,880 Speaker 1: Now that type of radical lead people don't really talk 161 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,079 Speaker 1: about that anymore. But at the time I was young, 162 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 1: I didn't have a lot of responsibilities and I was 163 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:04,160 Speaker 1: willing to do it. That paid off for me. Within 164 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:07,480 Speaker 1: one year of volunteering, I became the general manager of 165 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,079 Speaker 1: that company and from there, you know, I did that 166 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,719 Speaker 1: for a number of years and later ventured out and 167 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:17,840 Speaker 1: started Agami Group and Egammi Group is a New York 168 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:22,199 Speaker 1: based multicultural marketing firm and Sarah. The funny thing about it, 169 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 1: if you look at our core pillars, it includes community, 170 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 1: culture and causes like societal issues impacting community. All of 171 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:35,400 Speaker 1: those things are a part of the little drawing that 172 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 1: I did two decades ago when I said, what are 173 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,959 Speaker 1: you passionate about? And so it was just a journey 174 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:44,439 Speaker 1: that unfolded. That is such a beautiful story. I'm so 175 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 1: struck by how like systematic you were, because the truth is, 176 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 1: so many of us just do kind of fall into 177 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,920 Speaker 1: like their default careers and like either it fits or 178 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,280 Speaker 1: a doesn't, and if it doesn't, I've talked a little 179 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,080 Speaker 1: bit about like career crafting, like how can you like 180 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 1: kind of maximize the aspects of your job that you love, 181 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:03,160 Speaker 1: But you were just like nope, starting from scratch area one, 182 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,959 Speaker 1: area two, area through and most of us never get 183 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 1: to do that as adults. But I think that's is 184 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: that part of kind of like the whole dream process 185 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 1: that you kind of recommend for others who kind of 186 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,679 Speaker 1: find themselves in a position that may be less meaningful 187 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 1: for them. Absolutely, So I want you to know when 188 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,280 Speaker 1: I did this process, I didn't even know it was 189 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 1: a process. I was just doing right. But two decades later, 190 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:34,240 Speaker 1: in an attempt to inspire other dreamers, I kind of 191 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 1: took a step back and said, what were the steps 192 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 1: and processes that you went through and bringing your dream 193 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,280 Speaker 1: to life? And not only did I think about it 194 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 1: from mind lands, but I interviewed two hundred iconic dreamers 195 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,960 Speaker 1: and I found this sort of universal truth that I 196 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:56,400 Speaker 1: packaged in the Big Stretch as a dreamer's blueprint, and 197 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:59,920 Speaker 1: it's broken down into four phases. Phase one, it's all 198 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 1: about dreaming. Phase two is getting comfortable with designing a 199 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:07,920 Speaker 1: path and plan to bringing that dream to life. Phase 200 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 1: three is getting you comfortable with daring moves it's called 201 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 1: dare that you're going to have to take in the 202 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:17,600 Speaker 1: name of that dream. And last but not least, really 203 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,840 Speaker 1: preparing you to do the dream for the long term. 204 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,520 Speaker 1: Which of those stuffs do you think is the hardest? 205 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 1: Oh man? So you know what, It varies depending upon 206 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: the dreamer that I'm working with, So I can't say 207 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,120 Speaker 1: it's a cookie cutter answer. You know, For some people 208 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:40,480 Speaker 1: phase one in the dream stage, it's very hard for 209 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 1: them to imagine beyond what they think is possible based 210 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,360 Speaker 1: on what they can see. My mom is horrible at 211 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:53,000 Speaker 1: that horrible like she'll say a dream and then she'll say, oh, no, 212 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 1: I can't do that because I don't know how that's 213 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:56,960 Speaker 1: going to work out. So let me scratch that. And 214 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 1: I always say, Mom, you think about how to premature. 215 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,440 Speaker 1: I want to like get her muscles up in like 216 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,400 Speaker 1: dream without limits just for a minute, we're gonna get 217 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 1: to the plan. So for somebody like my mom, who's 218 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:11,800 Speaker 1: very methodical and like she has to see it, the 219 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 1: dream phase is challenging for her, But for others that 220 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,960 Speaker 1: are really creative, they can kind of live in the 221 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:20,840 Speaker 1: dream phase. I've found others where if you are not 222 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:25,000 Speaker 1: a high risk taker, that dare phase can be challenging, 223 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 1: Like you're asking me to take this leap or put 224 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 1: myself out there or go beyond my comfort zone. That's 225 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:36,080 Speaker 1: an area where for song that's the most challenging. So 226 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 1: your dream journey is as unique as you are. I 227 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:43,440 Speaker 1: think you will have to answer that question based on 228 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:46,640 Speaker 1: who you are on which phase is the most challenging 229 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:49,240 Speaker 1: For me. I just don't have a problem taking big 230 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,240 Speaker 1: daring moves. I don't, so that's like an easy phase 231 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:56,600 Speaker 1: for me. But design and like mapping out the plan 232 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,719 Speaker 1: that's a phase that I probably kind of try to 233 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,839 Speaker 1: skip over as a visionary, Like I want to throw 234 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 1: the big idea out there, but I don't necessarily want 235 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:09,000 Speaker 1: to think through every detail of the how so you know, 236 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 1: it varies depending upon you and your unique interests. I 237 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,959 Speaker 1: feel like every CEO or somebody who has their own company, 238 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,640 Speaker 1: they always say that they're like, no, no, I'm the 239 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:21,400 Speaker 1: one who's ten steps ahead. That it reminds me so 240 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:24,840 Speaker 1: much of somebody I know. So that's really funny. What 241 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 1: would you say to people who are like, well, your 242 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,040 Speaker 1: career doesn't have to be your passion if you have 243 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:32,199 Speaker 1: a good job and like you can kind of find 244 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,880 Speaker 1: purpose in other areas of life. Is that good enough? 245 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:39,200 Speaker 1: Does your career have to answer to your passions? Oh? 246 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:43,600 Speaker 1: I love in this conversation. So inside of the big stretch, 247 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:48,520 Speaker 1: there are different dreamer types that I define, and Sarah, 248 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:52,640 Speaker 1: I define these dreamer types because of this exact question 249 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 1: that you just asked. We used to do this big 250 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:58,720 Speaker 1: conference in Atlanta called the Dream Project, and I would 251 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,440 Speaker 1: sometimes have people come to me at the end of 252 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,320 Speaker 1: the conference to say, this was wonderful, but I don't 253 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:07,240 Speaker 1: know if it was for me because I don't think 254 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: I am meant to be an entrepreneur. And so what 255 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 1: I noticed is that there wasn't a one size fit 256 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,680 Speaker 1: all in how you approach living a life of purpose 257 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:21,400 Speaker 1: and passion by way of your dreams. So here's some 258 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:24,400 Speaker 1: of the various dreamers types. The first one is a 259 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:29,680 Speaker 1: career preneur, So a career purneur is someone who for them, 260 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 1: it's very important that they are able to align their 261 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:38,239 Speaker 1: profession and passion. So they want to work for places 262 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:42,720 Speaker 1: where there is intersectionality between the two and they can 263 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,080 Speaker 1: map purpose in what they're doing day to day. I 264 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,560 Speaker 1: also have some dreamers that they're like, you know what, 265 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,520 Speaker 1: I can go to the job, I can make a 266 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 1: check and it does not have to be in my 267 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:55,160 Speaker 1: passion field. I have a good friend, her name is 268 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:59,680 Speaker 1: Christina Todden, and what we de find for her she 269 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 1: is that's what I call a hobby dreamer. She works 270 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:06,760 Speaker 1: a job right and that job provides her an amazing lifestyle, 271 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:11,400 Speaker 1: but she doesn't necessarily put the responsibility on her job 272 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:15,840 Speaker 1: to fulfill all of her passions. So she has a 273 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:19,840 Speaker 1: passion of travel, of fitness as well as culinary. She 274 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,880 Speaker 1: created a blog to like really fulfill that area, and 275 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,760 Speaker 1: the blog took off and she's now an influencer. But 276 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 1: she is what I call a hobby dreamer. This is 277 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 1: someone who doesn't want to put the pressure on their career, 278 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:36,040 Speaker 1: but they want to nurture the hobbies and get fulfillment 279 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 1: in that way. Another one is what I call and 280 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:42,240 Speaker 1: make it happen dreamer, and this is someone high risk taker. 281 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,720 Speaker 1: They don't necessarily do extremely well in structured environments. They 282 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:51,160 Speaker 1: like making their own rules. These are individuals that they 283 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 1: were just born to be entrepreneurs. Right. My husband is 284 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:58,920 Speaker 1: one of those people. He was just born to work 285 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:01,480 Speaker 1: for himself. He is what I call a make it 286 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:05,840 Speaker 1: Happen dreamer. And then the last one is a CEO dreamer. 287 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 1: This is someone who's worked in corporate for a while, 288 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:13,040 Speaker 1: but they know that one day I want to venture 289 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:16,480 Speaker 1: out and determine if I could do this on my own, 290 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,080 Speaker 1: and so they're able to take all of their skills 291 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:22,960 Speaker 1: from their previous corporate job and then harness that to 292 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 1: one day start their own. And the last one is 293 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 1: what I call an activist dreamer. This is someone who 294 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:31,400 Speaker 1: will see a problem in the world and they want 295 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:34,800 Speaker 1: to dedicate their life and their mission to being a 296 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:38,560 Speaker 1: part of the solution of that problem. These are individuals 297 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:43,920 Speaker 1: that are leading movements, they are running nonprofits, and for 298 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 1: them they need that fulfillment of I am addressing a 299 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 1: problem in the world by way of my career. And 300 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:55,840 Speaker 1: usually again they're okay with being nonprofit leaders or they 301 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:59,920 Speaker 1: are team members on nonprofits. So those are the fig 302 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,840 Speaker 1: I have different dreamer types that I identify in my 303 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,439 Speaker 1: study of interviewing all of these various dreamers. And the 304 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:10,160 Speaker 1: big thing that the takeaway is the point that you said, Sarah, 305 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 1: there isn't a one size fits all that is great, 306 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,800 Speaker 1: so no one can be left out. And it doesn't 307 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,159 Speaker 1: mean that you necessarily have one script. You have to 308 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:20,240 Speaker 1: leave it behind and start something new if that's not 309 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:22,480 Speaker 1: exactly where your passions lie. I think I may be 310 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:26,080 Speaker 1: a hobby dreamer personally, but I have to reflect on that. 311 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:29,159 Speaker 1: That's super interesting. I want to pivot and learn. Oh, 312 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:33,320 Speaker 1: go ahead. I do want to say. There is an assessment, 313 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,480 Speaker 1: so all the listeners that are taking this out, you 314 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:38,600 Speaker 1: can go to the Big stretchbook dot com and take 315 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:42,199 Speaker 1: the Dreamer's Profile assessment to learn what type of dreamer 316 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,919 Speaker 1: you are. And it's available, Like it's there, so if 317 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,720 Speaker 1: you go, you can find out what type of dreamer 318 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,480 Speaker 1: you are right now, excellent, I'm totally gonna do it. 319 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,520 Speaker 1: We're going to take a very quick break and we'll 320 00:17:52,560 --> 00:18:08,480 Speaker 1: be right back with some more questions for Tasha. Okay, 321 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:13,240 Speaker 1: So I had a question about the ninety day stretch concept. 322 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:15,480 Speaker 1: In the interro to this episode, Laura and I were 323 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:17,560 Speaker 1: talking about, like ninety days. It's like a very nice 324 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:20,000 Speaker 1: chunk of time, Like I think people underestimate what they 325 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,520 Speaker 1: can do in ninety days, but it's also a manageable 326 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,560 Speaker 1: amount of time. It doesn't feel like, Okay, you're committing 327 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:28,240 Speaker 1: to something for a year. Talk to me about the 328 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,919 Speaker 1: ninety day process that you have developed, and it is 329 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 1: I think part of the framework of your book that 330 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 1: came out recently. I'm just curious, what have some people 331 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,840 Speaker 1: been able to accomplish in that ninety days and why 332 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,119 Speaker 1: did you choose that as the timeframe. So a couple 333 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:45,720 Speaker 1: of things. The path that I use in the book 334 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:49,399 Speaker 1: it one, I start you from a very very high 335 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:54,200 Speaker 1: level creative space to allow you the opportunity to imagine 336 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:58,359 Speaker 1: and get in contact with your big, big dream, your vision, 337 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,720 Speaker 1: and it's kind of out there. The book then moves 338 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:05,680 Speaker 1: you through a process to define what part of that 339 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:10,439 Speaker 1: dream can you do this year? So we just enter 340 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,240 Speaker 1: f y twenty twenty two. So I'll give you an 341 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,480 Speaker 1: example here. It always works better if I show an example. 342 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:22,280 Speaker 1: Say it's someone who has always wanted to essentially be 343 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,800 Speaker 1: an author, right, and maybe that's a part of their big, 344 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:28,760 Speaker 1: big dream. I then challenge them to say, what part 345 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,280 Speaker 1: of that vision and how can you bring that to 346 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:35,240 Speaker 1: life over the next year. So we first start from 347 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 1: a one year perspective, and it's part imagination but also 348 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:43,880 Speaker 1: starting to drop them into a plan to paint a picture. 349 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,000 Speaker 1: And that's where I challenge you to kind of be 350 00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:49,919 Speaker 1: very specific January of twenty twenty three, what elements do 351 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,840 Speaker 1: you want to have accomplished as it relates to your dream. 352 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 1: And with that, I'm always challenging you to make sure 353 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:00,040 Speaker 1: that it's measurable. So in the case of this I 354 00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:03,440 Speaker 1: want to be author, maybe they say, in one year, 355 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:07,520 Speaker 1: I'll have the book proposal written and I will pitch 356 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,479 Speaker 1: it to you know, several people, and I will have 357 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 1: a book bill. Maybe that is like the one year 358 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,719 Speaker 1: vision that ladders back to the big dream of becoming 359 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:20,919 Speaker 1: an author. From that part, I then challenge them to say, 360 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,360 Speaker 1: if that is the goal over the twelve month period, 361 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:29,320 Speaker 1: let's break that down into an actionable plan of what 362 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 1: we need to accomplish over ninety days. And the ninety 363 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:38,720 Speaker 1: day number is significant for several reasons. Number one, majority 364 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:42,400 Speaker 1: of Fortune one hundred companies they are running their companies 365 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,520 Speaker 1: on a ninety day basis. Looking at it from a 366 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:48,679 Speaker 1: very quarter perspective, ninety days gives you the perfect amount 367 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:52,160 Speaker 1: of time that you can gain traction to feel good. 368 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 1: You can really start to knock out, you know, chunks 369 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,160 Speaker 1: of what you need to be doing. But you are 370 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:04,560 Speaker 1: not so far into the twelve month journey that you 371 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,959 Speaker 1: can't assess if you need to pivot or bring in 372 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:11,920 Speaker 1: new strategies. So that is the why behind the ninety days. 373 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,000 Speaker 1: So once you get in the ninety day period, I 374 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:19,159 Speaker 1: challenge you to define goals that you will hold yourself 375 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:22,960 Speaker 1: accountable to over the next ninety days, and you need 376 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:28,520 Speaker 1: to see how those goals map to the twelve month 377 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:33,080 Speaker 1: one year dream projection. So in the case of the 378 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:37,400 Speaker 1: author the example that I'm using, over the next ninety days, 379 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 1: that author could potentially say I will have the book proposal. 380 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,040 Speaker 1: I'm not going to say written, but let's say I 381 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:50,200 Speaker 1: will research the book proposal format and I will select 382 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:53,120 Speaker 1: a format that I'm going to use, and I will 383 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:56,439 Speaker 1: have written fifty percent of my book proposal. That is 384 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,959 Speaker 1: what I need to have done if I know twelve 385 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:03,600 Speaker 1: munch from now, I ultimately want to secure a book dew. 386 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:08,480 Speaker 1: So it forces the dreamer to take the big creative idea, 387 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:12,960 Speaker 1: put some structuring accountability from a one year during projection, 388 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,480 Speaker 1: but then narrow that down on a ninety day basis. 389 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:20,239 Speaker 1: Is really the idea behind the planet, and I have 390 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:25,080 Speaker 1: tools and timplets again available to support dreamers and kind 391 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,639 Speaker 1: of going through that process. I like the ninety days. 392 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,680 Speaker 1: I think it's just somehow more it's so much easier 393 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,920 Speaker 1: for us to really think about. I mean, right now 394 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,880 Speaker 1: we're recording this, it's January. I can think about April 395 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,960 Speaker 1: and be realistic, like, Okay, I want to get X 396 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,679 Speaker 1: done by April, and it's much much less intimidating and 397 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 1: more concrete than what do I want to have done 398 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,240 Speaker 1: by like January twenty twenty three, which seems like a 399 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,359 Speaker 1: world away from this juncture. Even though obviously it's not 400 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:54,200 Speaker 1: really Yes, I'm actually in the process right now doing 401 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 1: it at a personal level as well as a professional level. 402 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,320 Speaker 1: What does that look like? On the personal level? People 403 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,439 Speaker 1: set ninety day goals with like relationships and with health 404 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,639 Speaker 1: and that kind of a thing. Is that Do you 405 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,199 Speaker 1: recommend specific realms or does it kind of depend on 406 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,880 Speaker 1: where you are in life at a given point. Well, 407 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:14,520 Speaker 1: it depends on where you are and what area of 408 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:18,000 Speaker 1: life do you think you want to focus in. I've 409 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:22,920 Speaker 1: had dreamers do different approaches where you could actually set 410 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,520 Speaker 1: a vision for yourself in each area of life, like 411 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:29,560 Speaker 1: what is your vision for relationships, what is your vision 412 00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:33,240 Speaker 1: and your profession, what is your vision in your finances? 413 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:36,200 Speaker 1: And what is your vision in terms of mind, body, 414 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,119 Speaker 1: and spirit? And you kind of I have it in 415 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,199 Speaker 1: like four quadrants, and you can have a vision in 416 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 1: those quadrants and then think about goals in each of 417 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:47,160 Speaker 1: those quadrants over twenty twenty two as we lead into 418 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,760 Speaker 1: twenty twenty three. That's one approach, and that's like for 419 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:54,720 Speaker 1: the overachievers. However, I've also found when you try to 420 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:58,440 Speaker 1: do too many things that one time you can easily 421 00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:02,000 Speaker 1: end the year and you haven't done really anything in 422 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:06,080 Speaker 1: any area great. It is okay for you to say, 423 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:09,160 Speaker 1: you know what, this year, I'm going to only focus 424 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,720 Speaker 1: on one quadrant, or I'm going to focus on two 425 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,440 Speaker 1: quadrants and the others. You're going to be like an autopilot. 426 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 1: But this is where I'm going to lead in to 427 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:22,880 Speaker 1: try to achieve, you know, high results. I have learned 428 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:27,120 Speaker 1: that approach works best for me for the greatest impact. 429 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:32,200 Speaker 1: So for twenty twenty one, personally, my theme was journey 430 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,560 Speaker 1: to Hold This and it was a bit of a 431 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,680 Speaker 1: stretch for me because it's easier for me to achieve 432 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,560 Speaker 1: professional goals. As you can tell. You know, I spent 433 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,720 Speaker 1: a lot of passion in the work professional place, but 434 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:47,760 Speaker 1: because of that, I have sacrificed in the personal area 435 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:51,240 Speaker 1: of journey to hold this. So last year, what that 436 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,840 Speaker 1: looked like for me was doing a surgery that I 437 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:58,720 Speaker 1: put off for a very long time. It was losing 438 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,919 Speaker 1: X amount of pounds, which I don't mind telling you, 439 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 1: but I gained so many in the pandemic, but I 440 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,639 Speaker 1: wanted to at least lose twenty of my pandemic pounds. 441 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:13,320 Speaker 1: And then I also wanted to really learn about nutrition 442 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,399 Speaker 1: so that could make a lifestyle change. Those were my 443 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 1: tangible annual goals. That was my vision and my dream 444 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,880 Speaker 1: for myself personally, and then I worked at every single 445 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,960 Speaker 1: week over week, you know, in twenty twenty one, and 446 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,120 Speaker 1: now I have the tangible results in that area of life. 447 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,920 Speaker 1: That's amazing. I love it that you made your focus, 448 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,879 Speaker 1: even though you're inclined to be a work person, that 449 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,159 Speaker 1: you had another focus because you just felt like that 450 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:43,680 Speaker 1: needed attention. That totally makes sense. Let's talk about time tracking, 451 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:45,800 Speaker 1: because I remember, I think one of the things that 452 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,160 Speaker 1: got me so excited to have you on was that 453 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,199 Speaker 1: you are passionate about looking at how your time is 454 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,760 Speaker 1: spent and tracking it. And everyone who listens to this 455 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,760 Speaker 1: show knows that, so is Laura. I very much struggle 456 00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:00,680 Speaker 1: with that personally for whatever reason. I'll track time for 457 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,000 Speaker 1: a day and then I'm like, I just lost track. 458 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:05,280 Speaker 1: I don't know. So tell me about your style, how 459 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,679 Speaker 1: you do it, whether it's something you do continuously, and 460 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,080 Speaker 1: what you tend to get out of it. Well, so 461 00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:15,239 Speaker 1: many times I will hear from a dreamer, you know, 462 00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:17,919 Speaker 1: I want to do this, but I simply do not 463 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,359 Speaker 1: have the time. You know, I've heard I'm a working mother, 464 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:25,679 Speaker 1: I'm working a full time job, where would I possibly 465 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:31,240 Speaker 1: have the time to also work parallel on my dream path? 466 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:38,000 Speaker 1: So this time tracker was really about supporting the reader 467 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:42,240 Speaker 1: and the dreamer in becoming aware of how you're spending 468 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,879 Speaker 1: your time, because if the dream and vision is important, 469 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,840 Speaker 1: what are you willing to give up in or shift 470 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:53,240 Speaker 1: in the name of the dream? Right? So many times 471 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,399 Speaker 1: it's almost like finances. If you're not paying attention to 472 00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:01,080 Speaker 1: the reconcile budget of your statement, you know, do you 473 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,040 Speaker 1: really know I'm spending thirty percent on mortgage, I'm spending 474 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:08,280 Speaker 1: ten percent on entertainment. If you're not doing the analysis 475 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:13,120 Speaker 1: of your finances, you really are knowledgeable of how you're 476 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:15,920 Speaker 1: spending Well, it's the same thing. So the first thing 477 00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:18,280 Speaker 1: is an audit of your time that I have you do, 478 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,320 Speaker 1: and there's a worksheet or I have you document how 479 00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:25,800 Speaker 1: you're spending your time over a seven day period. Sometimes 480 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 1: in order to identify patterns, you may need to keep 481 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,760 Speaker 1: that audit up for two weeks or a month. You 482 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:35,639 Speaker 1: have to kind of answer what's going to be the 483 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:39,160 Speaker 1: right period. I wouldn't recommend necessarily going over a month, though, 484 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:44,560 Speaker 1: but after that take a step back and analyze how 485 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,000 Speaker 1: and where am I spending my time? And you may 486 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:51,360 Speaker 1: find out that, wow, I had no idea. I am 487 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,399 Speaker 1: spending you know, twenty percent of my time in a 488 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:57,800 Speaker 1: week binge watching Netflix, and that might be good for 489 00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,480 Speaker 1: your soul. Right, And if you are doing that, it's 490 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:04,720 Speaker 1: not about guilty in yourself. It's just about you becoming 491 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:09,600 Speaker 1: very aware so that you know, here are my options. 492 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:13,399 Speaker 1: And then once you can see how you're spending the time, 493 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 1: I am challenging you to say, where can you reclaim 494 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:21,320 Speaker 1: your time? One mechanism could be, is there area where 495 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:25,359 Speaker 1: you're spending time where if you were to outsource or 496 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:28,280 Speaker 1: bring in a partner, you buy yourself certain time back. 497 00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:32,000 Speaker 1: I'll never forget when I had my big aha. I 498 00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:33,800 Speaker 1: would talk to my mom about this all the time. 499 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:37,440 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I spent the whole weekend folding clothes, 500 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,960 Speaker 1: putting away clothes. I know for somebody they may be like, 501 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:43,120 Speaker 1: oh my god, is she really talking about this? This 502 00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:46,080 Speaker 1: was like I spent so much time because I'm such 503 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:49,400 Speaker 1: a meat free right, And my mom said to me, like, 504 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:53,720 Speaker 1: get someone else to do it already, Like, gosh, did 505 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,520 Speaker 1: you hear how much you complain about this and it 506 00:28:56,560 --> 00:29:00,520 Speaker 1: wasn't like it was some novel idea, but I decide, like, 507 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,800 Speaker 1: that is something I'm going to outsource. And I got 508 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 1: so much time back on the weekend, and you know 509 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:10,160 Speaker 1: it could be something similar to that. But in another area, 510 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,840 Speaker 1: you determine where you're comfortable, and you know, are there 511 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:17,120 Speaker 1: areas where you can outsource and maybe, you know, depending 512 00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:21,320 Speaker 1: upon lifestyle, maybe you can't really afford to outsource anything, 513 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,800 Speaker 1: and that's okay as well. But what you can do 514 00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:28,280 Speaker 1: is negotiate with yourself and say, hey, I'm spending sixteen 515 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:31,440 Speaker 1: hours a week in TV. I can give myself that 516 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,680 Speaker 1: time back for a six month period in the name 517 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,600 Speaker 1: of my dream. And you're just becoming aware and then 518 00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:40,760 Speaker 1: you make some decisions on what time are you going 519 00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:46,160 Speaker 1: to reallocate to actually drive traction against your ninety day goals. 520 00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:50,440 Speaker 1: When I did this exercise with a mom years ago 521 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:54,400 Speaker 1: who she actually wanted to be an author, major pop 522 00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:57,280 Speaker 1: executive at a big media company, she came to me 523 00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,480 Speaker 1: and she said, Tanisha, I did this exercise, kid, you not. 524 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,680 Speaker 1: I only have thirty minutes of time that I can reclaim. 525 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,400 Speaker 1: And it was like at a crazy hour and like 526 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:11,600 Speaker 1: eleven thirty to midnight. And I remember saying, Michelle, this 527 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,080 Speaker 1: can't be true. She was like, Nope, it's true. Between 528 00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:17,920 Speaker 1: a working mother, taking the kids, running my division because 529 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,960 Speaker 1: she was very, very senior, taking the car home at night. 530 00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:23,360 Speaker 1: She took a car service from the city to Jersey. 531 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:25,760 Speaker 1: She said, the only thing I can give myself is 532 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:29,680 Speaker 1: eleven thirty to midnight. And that was it. But this 533 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:31,480 Speaker 1: lady was so determined. She said, but I'm going to 534 00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:34,160 Speaker 1: take the thirty minutes. I kid you not. She took 535 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:38,640 Speaker 1: that thirty minutes reallocated towards that goal of writing a book, 536 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:42,400 Speaker 1: and she wrote her book. Like she I went to 537 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:45,280 Speaker 1: a conference and I'll never forget. I went into the 538 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:46,880 Speaker 1: gift bag, and you know how some of the gift 539 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,920 Speaker 1: bags they give you different books. And so I heard 540 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,480 Speaker 1: someone say, oh, man, I got Michelle's new book. And 541 00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:54,680 Speaker 1: I was like, they couldn't have said they got Michelle's 542 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:56,560 Speaker 1: in the book went in the gift back. It was 543 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:58,960 Speaker 1: in the hand. I ran up to her. It's like, Michelle, 544 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:02,400 Speaker 1: She was like, are you my time? I reclaimed my time. 545 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:04,600 Speaker 1: I wrote it and I self published and here it is. 546 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,120 Speaker 1: That is amazing. Also, I have to say the whole 547 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,320 Speaker 1: time you're doing the example, I'm like, you have to 548 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:16,800 Speaker 1: fold the laundry while you're watching Netflix. I'm totally getting 549 00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:23,200 Speaker 1: can you become more efficient? Exactly? No, we love the outsourcing, okay. 550 00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:26,320 Speaker 1: I think it's so important. And yes, there are different 551 00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:28,000 Speaker 1: phases in your life where you may or may not 552 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,520 Speaker 1: be able to do that, but really asking yourself deeply, 553 00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,640 Speaker 1: like do I need to be the one doing this 554 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:36,160 Speaker 1: or could I not? I'm so glad that you, you know, 555 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,280 Speaker 1: promote that as well, and that it worked for you, 556 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:40,360 Speaker 1: and that you're not afraid to admit it, because somehow 557 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:44,760 Speaker 1: in this society sometimes we're scared to admit that if 558 00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:47,480 Speaker 1: I tell you some of the things I outsource. Oh man, 559 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 1: some of the things my grandma I was a bit 560 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:57,960 Speaker 1: ashame to tell her. She's like, that's just lazy. Oh 561 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,560 Speaker 1: my goodness, that's so funny. Well, this has been so 562 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:05,040 Speaker 1: much fun. Before you tell everybody where they can look 563 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:06,720 Speaker 1: off all this stuff, because I know everyone's gonna want 564 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,360 Speaker 1: to download all the templates and check everything out. Let's 565 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,080 Speaker 1: share our love of the week for the week. Would 566 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:13,760 Speaker 1: you like to go first? I did warn you I 567 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:18,480 Speaker 1: remember this time. Okay, I'll go first my love of 568 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:21,840 Speaker 1: the week as in the nut. Okay, let me tell 569 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:23,959 Speaker 1: you so, I told you that I was on this 570 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:28,600 Speaker 1: whole healthy eating thing, right, So I now when I eat, 571 00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,640 Speaker 1: I try to ground myself in like mindfulness where I'm 572 00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 1: really enjoying every bite. And I rediscovered a love affair 573 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:41,200 Speaker 1: with almonds that my husband is looking at me eating 574 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:47,120 Speaker 1: these almonds. He's like, should I be concerned? So almonds, 575 00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 1: by far is my love of the week. I love it. 576 00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:53,320 Speaker 1: It's simple pleasures. Interestingly, my four year old like snuck 577 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,400 Speaker 1: into the pantry and was eating almonds the other day, 578 00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,560 Speaker 1: so yeah, they're just like the theme. Well, mine's going 579 00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:01,120 Speaker 1: to be like a one eighty from But I never 580 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,880 Speaker 1: read science fiction, but I just finished a book called 581 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:08,000 Speaker 1: Psalm for the Wild, built by Becky Higgins, and I 582 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:12,880 Speaker 1: think it's Becky Higgins. Becky hold On, it's right here. Ooh, 583 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,800 Speaker 1: not Becky Higgins, that's a stationary designer. I was like, 584 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:18,440 Speaker 1: that didn't sound right. It's Becky Chambers and it's about 585 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:21,360 Speaker 1: a non binary monk and a robot and it's set 586 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,480 Speaker 1: in the future and it's amazing. So ooh, I love it. 587 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:29,000 Speaker 1: A week. I gotta grab it. That sounds good. It is, 588 00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:32,000 Speaker 1: and especially if you're not like normally sucked into science fiction, 589 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:34,800 Speaker 1: this is like a good a good entry in. And 590 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:37,560 Speaker 1: apparently the sequel's coming out, so it's gonna order that 591 00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:40,440 Speaker 1: all right. Tell our listeners where they can find you, 592 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:44,040 Speaker 1: and also the specifics about your book, because I know 593 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:48,240 Speaker 1: that I'm super intrigued and excited to read it. Well, one, 594 00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:50,680 Speaker 1: I just want to thank you so much for having 595 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:53,880 Speaker 1: me on. I enjoyed this conversation with you, and I 596 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:58,120 Speaker 1: pray that it also was enjoyable for all of the listeners. 597 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:01,760 Speaker 1: For the listeners, and stay in contact with me on 598 00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:06,640 Speaker 1: social at Tunisha J. Warner primarily on the IG channel 599 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,680 Speaker 1: is where I'm most engaged, So I would love to 600 00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:13,440 Speaker 1: hear from you all. And then as far as the book, 601 00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,480 Speaker 1: this is a perfect timing. It's January twenty twenty two. 602 00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:20,480 Speaker 1: I tell you, the Big Stretch is a dreamer's blueprint, 603 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,480 Speaker 1: and if you want to put yourself in a boot camp, 604 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:25,360 Speaker 1: a dreamer's boot camp, if you want to put yourself 605 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,880 Speaker 1: in a boot camp to a tee towards your vision 606 00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,279 Speaker 1: this year, it will be perfect for you and you 607 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:33,279 Speaker 1: can go to the Big stretchbook dot com to even 608 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:36,640 Speaker 1: start downloading some of the exercises, and that is there 609 00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:41,080 Speaker 1: for no fee at all. If you find those exercises enjoyable, 610 00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,960 Speaker 1: you can get the book anywhere books are sold, and 611 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:48,080 Speaker 1: I encourage you, you know, grab it. It's time to stretch. 612 00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:51,839 Speaker 1: It's twenty twenty two. Life has really taught us over 613 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:55,359 Speaker 1: the past two years that life is now and it's 614 00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,919 Speaker 1: truly my desire to see you live a life where 615 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:02,440 Speaker 1: your dreams become re reality. I love it. Thank you 616 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,200 Speaker 1: so much, and I will put a link to all 617 00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:06,359 Speaker 1: of these references in our show notes, So if you're 618 00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:08,560 Speaker 1: on your podcast step listening right now, just look at 619 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:10,640 Speaker 1: the notes and you can find her on Instagram and 620 00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:14,520 Speaker 1: find the details of the book. So thank you so much, Tanisha, 621 00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:18,120 Speaker 1: thank you, thank you so much for having me. All Right, 622 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,120 Speaker 1: well we were back. That was a great interview with 623 00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:24,160 Speaker 1: Tanisha Warner. We are looking at a question now about energy. 624 00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:28,960 Speaker 1: So this listener writes that she loved our couple's relationship 625 00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:31,520 Speaker 1: during the Busy Years episode. Well, thank you, as she says, 626 00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:33,680 Speaker 1: she hopes we release a second round of it with tips, 627 00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:36,200 Speaker 1: tricks and planning for making it happen. I guess we're 628 00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:37,680 Speaker 1: going to have to figure that out. And once Sarah 629 00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:40,720 Speaker 1: and I figure that out too. So anyway, she says, 630 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,560 Speaker 1: she would love if we could share some wisdom on 631 00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:46,560 Speaker 1: increasing energy. She is a morning person, but she drags 632 00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:49,960 Speaker 1: in the evening. She's a corporate attorney who has long workdays. 633 00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:51,840 Speaker 1: She wakes up at five point thirty to meditate to 634 00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:55,279 Speaker 1: a short workout, starts work about six thirty seven of 635 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,880 Speaker 1: early meetings that the overseas team works until four, and 636 00:35:57,920 --> 00:35:59,759 Speaker 1: then she is on with the kids because her husband 637 00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:02,680 Speaker 1: takes the morning shift. However, it seems that she feels 638 00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,680 Speaker 1: like she does the bare minimum of dinner, driving to activities. 639 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,920 Speaker 1: She is not doing things that she thinks she would 640 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,240 Speaker 1: like to, such as being on top of homework, playing 641 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:13,400 Speaker 1: board games and puzzles talking with them. Do you have 642 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:17,240 Speaker 1: any tips, she says about my increasing my energy level 643 00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,840 Speaker 1: in the evening, because she really wants to be a 644 00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:23,600 Speaker 1: better mom and be more patient and calm in the evenings. So, Sarah, 645 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:27,960 Speaker 1: any any suggestions for our listener. I will first begin 646 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:32,279 Speaker 1: with some significant commiseration. I am similar in that I 647 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:35,680 Speaker 1: have a lot of energy in the morning, and nights 648 00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:39,120 Speaker 1: are harder for me. It's just my personal rhythm, and 649 00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:41,719 Speaker 1: I'm not sure there's that much we can do about that, 650 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,359 Speaker 1: So I just wanted to say that. And the other 651 00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,680 Speaker 1: thing I'm going to commiserate with is the quote being 652 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:51,440 Speaker 1: on top of homework. This is really really hard and 653 00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:55,320 Speaker 1: seems very kid dependent. You know. I have one kid 654 00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:59,680 Speaker 1: where homework doesn't get done unless there's like you're standing 655 00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:01,520 Speaker 1: over them, and then I have another kid where I 656 00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,399 Speaker 1: don't even know what the homework is most of the time, 657 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:07,880 Speaker 1: but it apparently is all getting done. So I just 658 00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:11,080 Speaker 1: completely understand when that feels like a large burden at 659 00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:12,879 Speaker 1: the time of night, when you have multiple other kids 660 00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:16,440 Speaker 1: to pay attention to and you just don't feel up 661 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:19,040 Speaker 1: to it. And I don't have a great solution, honestly. 662 00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:21,719 Speaker 1: Probably in the future at some point there may have 663 00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:24,319 Speaker 1: to be a little bit of outsourcing of the homework piece, 664 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,399 Speaker 1: maybe a tutor if that continues to be such a dream, 665 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:30,080 Speaker 1: because that can drain your entire night. If that's a battle, 666 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:33,200 Speaker 1: and I think you have to give yourself credit for 667 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:35,799 Speaker 1: even trying sometimes because it can be really, really hard. 668 00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:39,600 Speaker 1: So I do want to ask if you could perhaps 669 00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:43,080 Speaker 1: lean into some quieter or easier activities at night and 670 00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:46,320 Speaker 1: still call it a wind, like snuggling together with a 671 00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:49,239 Speaker 1: kid's podcast or having the kids read an audiobook, or 672 00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:52,160 Speaker 1: coloring together. I love playing with planners and pens. And 673 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:56,160 Speaker 1: it's not quite doable yet because if Genevie's not quite ready, 674 00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:58,040 Speaker 1: but I mean, if I had just the older kids, 675 00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,520 Speaker 1: we would totally be like having coloring time together and 676 00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:03,840 Speaker 1: I would be truly enjoying it. I also wanted you 677 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:05,680 Speaker 1: to think about what time you go to bed, because 678 00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,640 Speaker 1: if you're not getting enough sleep, like if you're actually 679 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,000 Speaker 1: staying up till ten, I don't know, I mean maybe 680 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,520 Speaker 1: you don't, but and waking up at five thirty that 681 00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:15,480 Speaker 1: may or may not be enough sleep cheap for you 682 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,319 Speaker 1: or till eleven, And so trying to make sure you 683 00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:22,520 Speaker 1: are getting enough sleep for yourself is important. And then 684 00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:27,160 Speaker 1: finally just let go of unrealistic energy expectations like what 685 00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:31,799 Speaker 1: ideal mom are you comparing yourselves with? You mentioned being 686 00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,800 Speaker 1: on top of homework, playing board games and puzzles, talking 687 00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:39,040 Speaker 1: with them. I mean it sounds good, but that's a lot, 688 00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,680 Speaker 1: and I'm sure you are talking with them anyway, whether 689 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:44,399 Speaker 1: or not. It's like a you know, specific questions being 690 00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:46,560 Speaker 1: answered one on one or just talking on the way 691 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:49,680 Speaker 1: to the various activities, and before bed you're helping with 692 00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,160 Speaker 1: homework to the extent that you can. And if board 693 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:54,680 Speaker 1: games have to be more of a weekend activity, I 694 00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:57,440 Speaker 1: think that's okay. You're still winning. I just think there 695 00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:00,000 Speaker 1: sounds like a lot of pressure, and I understand that 696 00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:02,400 Speaker 1: because sometimes I put my own pressure there. But I 697 00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:04,360 Speaker 1: think you find a routine that works for you and 698 00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:07,440 Speaker 1: don't beat yourself up about it. Yeah. I mean a 699 00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:09,799 Speaker 1: couple of things I would say is one, you know, 700 00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:13,319 Speaker 1: steer them towards activities that you enjoy a man whach 701 00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:15,919 Speaker 1: It could be like we all have silent reading time 702 00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:18,279 Speaker 1: for thirty minutes together, or we're going to watch this 703 00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,640 Speaker 1: TV show that Mommy likes, or you know, if there's 704 00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:22,960 Speaker 1: something that you do actually enjoys as a hobby. I 705 00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:24,839 Speaker 1: don't know, you know, people say I should do boy things. 706 00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:25,920 Speaker 1: You don't like board games. You're not going to do 707 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:27,920 Speaker 1: board games, but maybe like something else that you know, 708 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,239 Speaker 1: you could walk around the neighborhood if you live somewhere 709 00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:31,959 Speaker 1: where that's possible and you're not in like six feet 710 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,239 Speaker 1: of stone, right, now, but you know something that you 711 00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:37,439 Speaker 1: would actually enjoy and then come up with the plan 712 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:40,279 Speaker 1: ahead of time. Because energy is a lot about how 713 00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:42,799 Speaker 1: we manage it, and so what happens is that you 714 00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,759 Speaker 1: come home after this tough day of work and then 715 00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:47,440 Speaker 1: you're trying to figure out what you're going to do, 716 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:49,920 Speaker 1: and you're not going to be able to both figure 717 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:52,239 Speaker 1: it out and execute it, especially if the kids are 718 00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:54,520 Speaker 1: whining about it. But if you know going in that like, 719 00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:56,239 Speaker 1: this is what we're going to do. We've told the 720 00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:58,080 Speaker 1: kids like you're in charge, Like you can do whatever 721 00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:01,040 Speaker 1: you want, and you will manage your energy with that 722 00:40:01,239 --> 00:40:03,440 Speaker 1: goal in mind. So you're like, I am going to play, 723 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,560 Speaker 1: you know, three rounds of uno. If you've decided that's 724 00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:08,560 Speaker 1: something that you wouldn't mind and you think would be fun. 725 00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,160 Speaker 1: Then you go into the evening saying I'm going to 726 00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:13,640 Speaker 1: do that, You do it, you get it done, you 727 00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,000 Speaker 1: feel good about yourself. Whereas if you you know, come 728 00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:17,279 Speaker 1: home and you're like, I don't know what we're gonna do. 729 00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:18,960 Speaker 1: We're just sort of biding our time till bedtime. Let 730 00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:20,520 Speaker 1: me think of something we'll do, Like that's a lot 731 00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:23,160 Speaker 1: harder because you haven't sort of preserved the energy for 732 00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:26,200 Speaker 1: that one specific thing with that goal in mind. And 733 00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:28,799 Speaker 1: then finally I would say, like, you don't know what 734 00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:32,160 Speaker 1: the kids are liking and what they're remembering too. The 735 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,200 Speaker 1: Cup of Joe, which is a blogger, a famous blogger, 736 00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:38,279 Speaker 1: has keeps running this post on her Instagram feed from 737 00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:40,440 Speaker 1: a reader who has a very funny take on this. 738 00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,680 Speaker 1: So this woman has created a story where she tells 739 00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:46,680 Speaker 1: us that her fondest memories from childhood were when her 740 00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,800 Speaker 1: single mom would do these things that she called little 741 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,560 Speaker 1: things dinners. And so she cuts up bits of stuff 742 00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:54,239 Speaker 1: like whatever they had in the fridge, I guess apples, cheese, bread, meat, 743 00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,320 Speaker 1: whatever you know was there, and they would eat it 744 00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:58,839 Speaker 1: in front of the TV together, and the kid thought 745 00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:01,440 Speaker 1: this was just the most amazing thing, right, like, Oh, 746 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:03,400 Speaker 1: I love the little things dinner. Oh are we going 747 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:06,520 Speaker 1: to do the little things dinner tonight? And so eventually 748 00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:08,160 Speaker 1: she's grown up and she's like, you know, having a 749 00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:10,520 Speaker 1: chat with her mom and is reminiscing about these amazing 750 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:12,960 Speaker 1: nights when they would do the little things dinner, and 751 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,400 Speaker 1: of course her mom is just like shocked, and she's like, 752 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:19,000 Speaker 1: those were the nights that I failed I was too 753 00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,520 Speaker 1: tired to cook anything. I was too tired to talk 754 00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:23,600 Speaker 1: to you, so I just cut up whatever was in 755 00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:26,719 Speaker 1: the fridge and turned on the TV. And that was 756 00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:30,840 Speaker 1: her kid's fondest memories from childhood. So the point is, like, 757 00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:32,799 Speaker 1: you don't know. There are things that they might like 758 00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:35,480 Speaker 1: that you're not like the good mom thing in quotes, 759 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:37,799 Speaker 1: but you know, if they're fun, if you're having fun, 760 00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:39,919 Speaker 1: if you're enjoying each other's company, it could be great. 761 00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:43,080 Speaker 1: So just a thought to keep in mind. Anyway, this 762 00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:46,000 Speaker 1: has been best of both worlds. We've been talking about 763 00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:48,960 Speaker 1: ninety d goals. Great topic, especially this time of year. 764 00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,480 Speaker 1: We will be back with more on making work in 765 00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:56,040 Speaker 1: life fit together. Thanks for listening. You can find me 766 00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:59,400 Speaker 1: Sarah at the shoe box dot com or at the 767 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,680 Speaker 1: Understand Horse shoe Box on Instagram, and you can find 768 00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:06,920 Speaker 1: me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has been 769 00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:10,279 Speaker 1: the best of Both Worlds podcasts. Please join us next 770 00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:13,440 Speaker 1: time for more on making work and life work together.