WEBVTT - Jenna Willis on Dating, DINKS, and Just Doing It! 0:00:06.000 --> 0:00:12.600 Hello, gorgeous. I'm good. How are you well? 0:00:12.680 --> 0:00:13.880 You just said hello gorgeous. 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:18.560 I thought thought directed at you. You. 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:23.120 Jenna willis my listeners? Who are my friends? 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:24.240 Yes? 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:26.720 I feel like every time I see you in the 0:00:26.760 --> 0:00:29.520 morning at this hour, you're telling me to do something 0:00:29.520 --> 0:00:33.600 that I truly don't want to do. But I leave 0:00:34.080 --> 0:00:36.760 feeling like my ass is perkier than normal. 0:00:37.159 --> 0:00:39.240 It is fact. 0:00:40.479 --> 0:00:41.880 By the way, what is that. 0:00:41.920 --> 0:00:44.120 Like when you know how you get to the gym 0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:47.040 and you're like, okay, today's leg and butt day. Is 0:00:47.080 --> 0:00:49.559 it just like the muscles that are getting swollen so 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:51.120 it looks perkier than blow. 0:00:51.960 --> 0:00:54.280 Oh, you're opening like the muscles up? Is that what 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:54.600 it is? 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:57.880 We're not opening them up, You're bringing blood flow to them, right, 0:00:57.920 --> 0:00:58.880 and blood flow. 0:00:58.960 --> 0:01:03.000 Experience that makes There's so many times where I'll see 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:07.919 people doing something before, like a workout shoot, and I'm like, girl, 0:01:08.080 --> 0:01:09.760 you should have been doing that the whole time, Like 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:11.880 why are you just doing it now? Like she looks good, right, 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:14.440 but you do think like you're not gonna get a 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:15.320 six pack. 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:16.919 Right now in twenty minutes. 0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:18.680 Yeah, but now it's making sense. 0:01:18.720 --> 0:01:21.759 But when she starts doing her crunches, it appears. 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:24.440 Those like fab five minute workouts don't work well. 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:26.920 Actually, there's a lot of questions that will address in 0:01:26.959 --> 0:01:27.760 the bonus. 0:01:28.000 --> 0:01:29.600 Yeah, it's so crazy because. 0:01:29.400 --> 0:01:31.679 No matter how many times I have you on. Yeah, 0:01:31.760 --> 0:01:33.920 every time I post that I'm having you on and 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:40.640 doing a Q and A, my little inbox thing is flooded. 0:01:40.280 --> 0:01:41.759 Yes with yes. 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:43.479 That makes me so happy because then it just means 0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:45.480 people care about their health and wellness and we want 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:46.160 to make change. 0:01:46.800 --> 0:01:47.240 They do. 0:01:48.000 --> 0:01:50.240 But at the same time, most people are like me 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:52.440 and they're like, I want this, but I want to 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:55.960 change nothing right, So so how do we do that? 0:01:56.200 --> 0:01:59.680 No, but there is a way to slow roll yourself. 0:01:59.680 --> 0:02:02.400 And I'm excited to talk to you about this, which 0:02:02.440 --> 0:02:05.240 we're really going to deep dive into obviously on this episode, 0:02:05.280 --> 0:02:08.359 but the bonus will be really focused on that. So, 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:11.640 Jenna willis you have been my friend, as people know 0:02:11.800 --> 0:02:13.640 for over ten years now. 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:14.320 I can't. 0:02:14.680 --> 0:02:15.960 Is that wild? I can't. 0:02:16.200 --> 0:02:18.919 We don't have to talk about that one of the 0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:21.360 first I mean, when we were twelve. It's crazy. 0:02:22.080 --> 0:02:23.720 Well, we're both grown. 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:28.320 Af I remember you flew to Utah, yeah, and I 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:30.360 was still living there and picked you up. 0:02:30.760 --> 0:02:32.960 We went out and got like. We went to like 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:33.639 a hotel bar. 0:02:33.800 --> 0:02:36.560 We went to the mall, the mall, Jena. 0:02:36.639 --> 0:02:38.720 That was the first time I was I'm not lying either. 0:02:38.760 --> 0:02:40.600 That was nervous. I was like, I'm just about to 0:02:40.600 --> 0:02:43.520 hang out with Lauren's friend. And then we started hanging 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:47.000 out and I was like, no, it's my friend. It 0:02:47.080 --> 0:02:47.720 was so fun. 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:52.920 Me and my friends, Jenna, Mom and myself drove to 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:56.919 Park City for lunch shop and Mom and I ended 0:02:57.000 --> 0:03:01.360 up getting lit was that eleven dropsy. 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:04.919 Baby. It was a wild Jenna had to drive us home. 0:03:06.080 --> 0:03:09.480 I like, ladies, it's okay back there, quiet down, please, 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:11.880 And then they're crying and then they're laughing. My dad 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:12.600 had just died. 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:15.320 Oh that was so dark. 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:19.080 It was We went to like McK finnigan's or whatever. 0:03:22.080 --> 0:03:22.640 Best time. 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:23.520 No, it was great. 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:24.959 That's the best time. And I love Utah. 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:25.760 You. 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:27.840 I had such a great time with you guys. 0:03:27.960 --> 0:03:28.160 Yeah. 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:33.120 No, Utah is a beautiful place. So my routine with 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:36.360 Jenna because we're homies. Yeah, but what I love about 0:03:36.400 --> 0:03:39.160 our friendship. And I said this because you make an 0:03:39.160 --> 0:03:42.840 appearance on the Valley this season, and I don't really 0:03:42.920 --> 0:03:48.040 know which way right now that goes. But I've been 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:50.680 asked about it, and I'm not going to say too much, 0:03:50.920 --> 0:03:54.440 but I have said because I participated in the after 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:58.240 show and your name appears, and I said, you know, 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:03.120 my friendship with Jenna is one of the most healthy 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:08.200 and productive friendships that I have. It's a friendship where 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:12.720 you know, we are healthy together. H a friendship where 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:16.280 we can really talk about everything and shoot it straight. 0:04:16.480 --> 0:04:20.760 It's it's a game of uh, as my mom would say, tennis, 0:04:20.800 --> 0:04:22.560 where the conversation goes back and. 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:25.800 Forth because we know some that don't we know somewhere. 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:28.080 It's like, okay, so this dinner is going to be 0:04:28.120 --> 0:04:29.919 someone talking at me the whole time. 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:32.320 You leave feeling a little exhausted. 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:35.960 You know everything about them, they know nothing about you. 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:40.679 You know their cat's name, you know their dead great 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:42.200 grandfather and what he did. 0:04:43.120 --> 0:04:46.800 You're like, okay, what about me? And my mother and I. 0:04:46.720 --> 0:04:50.800 Had a good day, so like I have pre cancer 0:04:50.839 --> 0:04:54.360 in my It's like, well, now that we're paying the boat, yeah, 0:04:54.920 --> 0:04:56.920 everything's fine. You next time. 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:01.240 Really, you don't give a shit, but. 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:04.520 I'm so happy to know what your great great grandfather. 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:09.719 And why you are here because of him. 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:14.360 Anyway, I'm still laughing or crying both the combination. 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:16.680 Of the two. It hurts because it's true, and you 0:05:16.720 --> 0:05:18.680 want to cry because it won't. 0:05:18.480 --> 0:05:20.839 Change exactly exactly. 0:05:21.040 --> 0:05:24.120 That is all about acceptance, accurate way it accepting. 0:05:24.640 --> 0:05:25.400 It is acceptance. 0:05:25.960 --> 0:05:28.560 Going through life, is going through the five stages of good. 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:37.120 Don't you think, what is it? Acceptance? No, it's like grief, acceptance, anger. 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:39.080 Anger, and then finally acceptance. 0:05:41.000 --> 0:05:44.640 And here we are, and here excepting where we're at. 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:47.479 Jenna has worked me out and been my homie for 0:05:47.480 --> 0:05:49.680 a very long time. You've worked me out through both 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:53.240 of my pregnancies. You've worked me out after the pregnancies. 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:56.080 And how are routine and day starts? 0:05:56.120 --> 0:05:56.200 You? 0:05:56.240 --> 0:06:00.280 Guys? I love it? I love it too, So I 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:01.599 told her I'm back at it. 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:06.480 I'm how what was I two three months postpartum something 0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:06.800 like that? 0:06:06.960 --> 0:06:07.800 Yeah, you were cleared? 0:06:08.240 --> 0:06:11.719 I was cleared whatever? Six weeks after? What is that? 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:13.200 The month and a half The most of them you 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:15.640 can really start is about six weeks, right, That's like 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:17.480 the earliest you could start, and you want to start 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:22.680 very very very minimal, right, And we were after that? 0:06:22.760 --> 0:06:25.400 I think I think we were eight to ten. Yeah, 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:29.000 because you know, I'm very careful about everything, which I 0:06:29.040 --> 0:06:29.960 respect and I love. 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:30.480 Well. 0:06:30.520 --> 0:06:32.960 You don't put pressure on people, which is also what 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:33.359 I like. 0:06:33.720 --> 0:06:36.400 Ah, that's not my style, you know. I think everyone 0:06:36.480 --> 0:06:39.400 needs to come to acceptance with when they're ready. Yeah, 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:42.800 and only you can make that decision, right because and 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:44.760 I'm there to facilitate it and help you make change 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:46.880 and push you as far as you can go. But 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:51.040 it's not my job right to force you to exercise, like, 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:52.640 that's a decision that you need to make when you're 0:06:52.680 --> 0:06:56.640 ready to prioritize your health and wellness. Going back to acceptance. 0:06:57.080 --> 0:07:02.479 Yeah, no, exactly. You know our morning routine, I Jenna comes. 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:04.680 If we want to plan our workout, Let's say we 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:08.400 want to start at nine, She'll come around eight, eight 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:12.160 thirty because we like to get our coffee, a. 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:14.680 Little chit chat, a little chit chat. Still the tea. 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:16.720 I was just gonna say, you gotta go over the 0:07:16.840 --> 0:07:17.640 daily tea. 0:07:17.720 --> 0:07:18.480 It's so happy. 0:07:19.120 --> 0:07:22.840 It is a lot happens in our lives in forty 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:23.520 eight hours. 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:23.960 It does. 0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:28.200 And you're one of the safe spaces for me where 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:30.840 I can talk freely about anything and everything, and I 0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:34.480 know that it's going into a vault. I know that saying, 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:36.680 and like, I love talking to my mom, but sometimes 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:38.520 I'm like, all right, like I've had enough of. 0:07:38.480 --> 0:07:41.240 It's a little different. It's a little different opinion. It 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:42.480 is no and that's okay. 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:46.120 You get different answers talent then you kind of want 0:07:46.160 --> 0:07:48.920 from a friend. Yeah, you get the motherly answer or 0:07:49.120 --> 0:07:50.960 the parent answer, and you're like, I get that. 0:07:51.240 --> 0:07:52.680 I know that an answer. I don't want it. That's 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:53.800 why I'm not talking to you. 0:07:54.160 --> 0:07:57.000 Well, mom's answers immediately fuck them. They don't deserve to 0:07:57.000 --> 0:07:57.480 be your friend. 0:07:58.920 --> 0:07:59.560 That's not mine. 0:08:00.040 --> 0:08:03.080 Little bit of a productive like you know, you're my mom, 0:08:03.520 --> 0:08:04.680 you're my mom. 0:08:05.000 --> 0:08:07.160 That is normally where I'm like, okay, why don't we 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:11.320 take a beat, think this through, m resonate, ruminate a 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:11.800 little bit. 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:15.080 What did you do to participate in that behavior? 0:08:15.240 --> 0:08:16.640 I will always challenge you on that. 0:08:17.120 --> 0:08:20.640 But that's why I think I said in the after show, 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:23.000 which you guys will see what I said, and I 0:08:23.080 --> 0:08:26.840 stand by you being one of the healthiest friendships. 0:08:26.360 --> 0:08:28.200 I have and have ever had. 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:32.080 It means a lot and I thoroughly enjoy the process 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:36.480 that goes into not only the cherry on top which 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:38.719 I think is the body for me. Like a lot 0:08:38.760 --> 0:08:40.520 of people, they start working out because they want a 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:43.080 perky butt, they want a tone's stomach, whatever, whatever the 0:08:43.120 --> 0:08:43.680 case may be. 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:47.240 I know that that will come. But the way that. 0:08:47.240 --> 0:08:51.440 I leave a workout it sets the tone for the 0:08:51.600 --> 0:08:55.600 entire day mentally. Yeah, so thank you for that. 0:09:00.600 --> 0:09:02.560 I want to talk about are working out and all 0:09:02.600 --> 0:09:03.319 those things. 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:05.959 But you also which we didn't get to cover the 0:09:06.040 --> 0:09:11.959 last time. You are thirty eight, thirty eight, you look great. 0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:12.800 Thank you. 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:13.559 You were my. 0:09:13.559 --> 0:09:15.960 Age and you thank you. 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:19.840 Of course she does, she works out, she's care of herself. 0:09:20.200 --> 0:09:20.680 I thought I do. 0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:25.280 Yeah, yeah, I thought you're in your late twenties. 0:09:25.679 --> 0:09:27.000 Yeah, I know, I'm trying to be. 0:09:27.280 --> 0:09:29.439 I feel like I just like start shouting it out, like, yeah, 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:30.559 I'm I'm thirty eight. 0:09:30.720 --> 0:09:32.199 I thought you two were the same age. 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:34.880 I think I'll be thirty five this year. 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:36.480 But I think that. 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:41.840 The j Lo's and the Kim Kardashians and the Gwen 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:44.240 Stefani's have really shifted the game. 0:09:44.280 --> 0:09:45.440 And people can say, well, they. 0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:47.760 Have access to like the best doctors, and they have 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:50.680 access to injectables and all the things. 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:53.480 Great, don't care regardless. 0:09:52.840 --> 0:09:57.960 They look amazing and no matter what their faces look 0:09:58.080 --> 0:10:01.120 like due to whatever work they've had. I'm sorry the 0:10:01.120 --> 0:10:03.960 way they get up on stage and poplock and drop 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:07.800 it to the fucking ground. Yeah they are putting in 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:11.720 Oh my god, because I feel like she hasn't had 0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:12.559 a whole bunch of work. 0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:13.400 If we're going to talk. 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:16.200 About not having work, I feel like she's naturally beautiful and. 0:10:16.280 --> 0:10:18.760 I haven't done work. 0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:23.680 Yeah. Like, it's just a different day and age, and 0:10:23.720 --> 0:10:28.400 I think people have access to googling and saying like, oh, 0:10:28.559 --> 0:10:31.280 this does not do to my body what I thought 0:10:32.040 --> 0:10:35.360 it would do, and there's just information at the tip 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:38.840 of our fingers. But you went through a fertility journey 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:39.920 what a year and a half ago? 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:40.480 Yep? 0:10:41.559 --> 0:10:42.959 What was what was that like? 0:10:43.000 --> 0:10:44.600 Because you and I talk about this all the time, 0:10:44.840 --> 0:10:47.160 us getting older, wanting to create a family. 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:48.560 The dating world is. 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:53.120 Grim like it hotter in here? I know? 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:55.920 Actually did fill my pips get a little? 0:10:57.480 --> 0:11:00.160 Are we going here? 0:11:00.920 --> 0:11:02.600 What was the point for you? 0:11:03.640 --> 0:11:07.560 I mean there were a few levels of it, you know. 0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:11.920 The point was to be able to take pressure off 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:14.839 of the dating life, okay, and and give me those 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:21.280 few extra years to give me the opportunity. How you did. 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:23.040 If I get to a point in my life where 0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:25.319 you know, I want to bring a child into the 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:26.520 world on my own, I can. 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:31.600 So you would be open to that. Yeah, you know, 0:11:31.720 --> 0:11:32.439 I have people. 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:36.280 You're like, good, we have a year end and so 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:37.160 we're doing that. 0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:39.640 I have a third I would like a friend to 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:40.680 participate with me. 0:11:40.880 --> 0:11:43.560 So I'm just kidding. 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:45.400 You're on her schedule. Now, You're ready to a. 0:11:45.400 --> 0:11:47.800 Lot of people that I've had on the podcast who 0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:50.880 go through a fertility journey and they freeze their eggs 0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:56.400 and they're ensuring that when they find a partner, when 0:11:56.400 --> 0:12:00.839 that time comes, they have eggs that are one hundred 0:12:00.960 --> 0:12:03.400 should they not be creating anymore? 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:04.000 Right? 0:12:04.760 --> 0:12:08.440 But the biggest, the biggest factor in that is if 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:10.920 I don't find a partner, then I don't need to 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:14.520 be a mom. So you're saying that you would go 0:12:14.640 --> 0:12:16.719 the route of choosing to be a single mom. 0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:21.400 I lean way more towards being a single mom than 0:12:21.400 --> 0:12:24.120 not being a mom at all now, of course, and 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:26.280 you say this the most out of anyone, which, by 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:28.680 the way, is one of the things I love the 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:33.680 most about you. Whenever anything happens, he said, I'm being guided. 0:12:33.840 --> 0:12:36.600 You have to trust in God in the universe. Yeah, right, 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:40.040 And everything happens for a reason, and you know I 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:42.720 get I mean you know this by now. I can 0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:44.880 get very emotionally worked up, so can you. That's probably 0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:46.319 why we're so close, because I'm like, I'm going to 0:12:46.360 --> 0:12:48.199 fuck somebody up and then we're like, oh, I'm good, 0:12:48.200 --> 0:12:50.680 I let it out right yea. But what you always 0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:53.600 come back to is everything happens for a reason. And 0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:55.840 I think it's hard to predict what the future holds, 0:12:56.559 --> 0:13:00.000 you know, but in this moment right now, I absolute 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:02.160 would go that path over never having a child. 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:03.600 I love that. 0:13:05.480 --> 0:13:07.640 The factors that play into it, of course. 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:11.080 So you see the relationships and how coparenting looks, it's like, 0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:13.760 why even risk that, you know? 0:13:13.880 --> 0:13:17.119 Well, I think, yeah, you know, I think it goes definitely, 0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:20.680 But there's always factors that make it scary, whether it 0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:23.920 is doing it alone, whether it is having a partner 0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:28.960 that can become anyone, right and anything at any point. 0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:33.400 What what are the factors doing it alone? What are 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:36.839 the things that way heaviest on your mind with that time? 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:42.079 Energy, sleep, work, financial, I mean there's a lot, yeah, 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:44.480 there's a lot of factors that play into And we 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:47.000 live in Los Angeles, which is what now is it? 0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:49.280 Is it the most expensive city in the United States 0:13:49.320 --> 0:13:49.920 or is it your. 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:52.680 I think it's in the top five. I know New 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:53.800 York and San Francisco. 0:13:53.840 --> 0:13:58.559 I mean it's and think about it, right, Having help 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:03.199 is real. Doing it all is not easy, that's for sure. 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:05.800 Well, I was talking to a friend today who has 0:14:06.559 --> 0:14:10.280 a conventional thing happening, very traditional. 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:11.440 Uh. 0:14:11.960 --> 0:14:18.120 And you know, any sort of talk about finances takes me. 0:14:18.880 --> 0:14:21.240 To a place of PTSD, right, because. 0:14:21.040 --> 0:14:23.760 It reminds me of when the two thousand and eight 0:14:23.920 --> 0:14:26.840 recession happened and my dad lost everything, And it was 0:14:26.920 --> 0:14:29.200 the first time that I saw my parents' fight where 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:32.160 there was no remedy for the situation unless a pile 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:36.880 of money dropped into the household. It was a conversation 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:39.960 that still to this day when someone says we had 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:43.720 an argument about finances, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I 0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:44.960 have a knot in my throat. 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:49.000 Yeah, And they were talking about how you know, he works, she's. 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:52.920 A stay at home mom. Some debt had been collected 0:14:52.920 --> 0:14:56.400 on a credit card, because that's what happens. It's expensive 0:14:56.520 --> 0:15:02.200 to live, right, And like she said, you know, if 0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:06.200 I go and get a job, I'm probably going to 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:09.440 be making as much as I would have to pay 0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:10.560 someone to come in to. 0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:11.280 Watch the kid. 0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:12.640 You know. 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:20.640 So there's such true it's wild. However, when I think. 0:15:20.440 --> 0:15:25.280 About that, I go to a place of. 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:29.600 When there's a dynamic between a husband and a wife, 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:33.360 or just a partnership man and man, woman and woman, 0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:38.480 when there's intimacy that has now entered the chat, it 0:15:38.760 --> 0:15:43.040 just adds another layer of stress. There are stressors in 0:15:43.080 --> 0:15:48.080 my household. But because there's not the intimate factor, because 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:49.600 it's me and my mom or me and. 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:51.680 Easting, I think it's easier to set boundaries. 0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:56.640 Yes, it's easier to set boundaries because the moment that 0:15:56.680 --> 0:15:58.560 you're not getting along with your partner, what do you 0:15:58.560 --> 0:16:01.480 stop doing? You stop being intimate with them. Yeah, there's 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:05.040 another layer of stress that goes into that. So when 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:07.480 I hear that someone wants to be a parent on 0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:11.040 their own, you are going to have the same amount 0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:12.840 of stress that a couple has. 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:18.440 But actually you get to eliminate one of the stressors, 0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:21.480 which is dealing with a partner. 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:25.200 That's true, but that with that stress comes many of 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:29.120 stresses you know, but with the partner. Eliminating the partner, 0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:33.160 you're eliminating financials, You're eliminating so many things underneath just that, 0:16:34.680 --> 0:16:37.480 you know, because the partner brings so many other things. 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:41.160 I agree, So like, eliminating the partner eliminates so. 0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:42.200 Much more than just that. 0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:44.400 Have you guys heard of dinks? This term called dinks? 0:16:44.520 --> 0:16:44.600 No? 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:45.200 What is that? 0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:47.480 Dual income no kids. It's like a new thing. 0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:53.320 Oh yeah all the time. 0:16:53.400 --> 0:16:57.760 But you know, yeah income no kids and they just 0:16:57.760 --> 0:17:00.600 buy the most ridiculous things or they're like all the 0:17:00.640 --> 0:17:02.320 time and they're like, and how do we afford this? 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:06.040 I never knew what it. 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:10.000 Meant though, now you know. If you don't know, now 0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:10.240 you know. 0:17:10.600 --> 0:17:14.840 However, I love this, Yeah, I love this, like going 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:20.679 out and traveling the world for me personally without my kids, 0:17:20.840 --> 0:17:21.560 I don't. 0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:23.120 Know what my purpose would be. 0:17:23.240 --> 0:17:25.200 We've spoken about this because I just got another puppy, 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:28.200 and you're like Johna, You're like me. We want purpose 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:30.320 and give us the ability to help and take care 0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:32.720 of something and nurtures. Yes, I mean, let's be on, 0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:34.560 look what I do for a living, all right, help people? 0:17:36.400 --> 0:17:41.720 Yes, But I I am with you in that, Yeah, 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:45.159 when people say they don't want kids, I'm like, they 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:47.720 don't have them because it changes everything. But a little 0:17:47.760 --> 0:17:50.000 part of my heart breaks just because I know the 0:17:50.040 --> 0:17:52.960 feeling of when you have your own child. I'll be honest, like, 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:55.040 I love kids, but like if someone asked me to 0:17:55.080 --> 0:17:57.840 babysit their kid, I would have zero fucking interest in. 0:17:59.040 --> 0:18:01.320 It's like looking at a pig. Sure of like a 0:18:01.320 --> 0:18:01.879 photo of you. 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:05.280 If we're going to get like really open and vulnerable, 0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:10.600 vulnerable right now, you know. I've had to go through 0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:13.000 the process of what if. 0:18:12.840 --> 0:18:14.760 I don't what if you don't have kids, or what 0:18:14.760 --> 0:18:16.639 if you don't find a purder? What if you don't have. 0:18:17.160 --> 0:18:20.760 I mean, but let's be honest. I mean I'm out 0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:21.600 here dating you know that. 0:18:22.640 --> 0:18:26.720 Yeah, that's one of my questions. 0:18:28.800 --> 0:18:33.600 Okay, can we leave for an episode wrapped real quick? 0:18:34.560 --> 0:18:34.639 No? 0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:38.560 But I am you know. I I've many a night's 0:18:38.840 --> 0:18:42.440 laying in bed what if I don't true like truly 0:18:43.440 --> 0:18:45.399 And I've had to come to the point in my 0:18:45.440 --> 0:18:50.000 life and accepting that maybe I won't and and if 0:18:50.000 --> 0:18:52.440 that is my path, I have to It makes me emotional, 0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:54.840 But if that is my path, then I need to 0:18:54.880 --> 0:18:59.719 accept that is what it is, and that's okay as well. Uh, 0:19:00.600 --> 0:19:04.000 but it is really emotional to think that I might 0:19:04.080 --> 0:19:07.840 go through life without ever having kids. And you can 0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:11.000 say you will, you will, but we we don't know. 0:19:11.880 --> 0:19:14.120 I was just going to say, on top of that thing. 0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:16.159 To have that thought, and I've had many nights of 0:19:16.280 --> 0:19:18.840 just like crying an emotional turmoil. 0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:21.520 Would you ever adopt? 0:19:22.000 --> 0:19:27.000 Yeah? I would, Okay, I would, so yeah, I mean. 0:19:26.920 --> 0:19:29.880 I've thought about that route too, because you just saying 0:19:29.920 --> 0:19:32.080 that I'm young. I get that, but like I'm in 0:19:32.119 --> 0:19:33.639