Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio
Speaker 1: and the black Effects, and just like that we on
Speaker 1: the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode
Speaker 1: with your girl. Jeffs hilarious, so we got voice notes.
Speaker 1: I'm happy, y'all know this gets me happy every single
Speaker 1: freaking time. Although y'all have been providing me with these
Speaker 1: long stories and y'all have improved on y'all punctuation, so
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna lie. I'll take it. I'll take it
Speaker 1: for what it is. Y'all. Thank you so very much.
Speaker 1: All right, but we're gonna jump straight in here we are.
Speaker 2: What's up, Jess. I'm trying to get you to fix
Speaker 2: this mess. First of all, before I pull from you,
Speaker 2: I want to make sure I pull into you and
Speaker 2: let you know how grateful I am for this platform
Speaker 2: that you have provided, you know, in this safe space
Speaker 2: for us to get our shit off. I'm a little
Speaker 2: heavy for you. It's not really in alignment with a
Speaker 2: lot of the topics that I hear and you know,
Speaker 2: piece and blessings to them, but this one may be
Speaker 2: a little different for you. It may not. But I'm adopted.
Speaker 2: I found out I was adopted two weeks before my
Speaker 2: senior year of high school. I am right now in
Speaker 2: my thirties and that one't around the corner or nothing
Speaker 2: like that, but it just feels like yesterday. You feel me.
Speaker 2: So I found out that my mom and my dad
Speaker 2: wasn't my real mom and my dad, and that just
Speaker 2: changed my world. It flipped my world like upside down.
Speaker 2: I know that I hear a lot about people being
Speaker 2: adopted and the unfortunate circumstances behind that, with Falster care,
Speaker 2: being in the system, being outside on their own, not
Speaker 2: having nobody around nobody. You feel me. And I always
Speaker 2: thought that my story wasn't a priority because I've never
Speaker 2: been in those types of situations. But when I found
Speaker 2: out I was adopted, I was seventeen years old, and
Speaker 2: it just it flipped my world. Before then, I was
Speaker 2: on a I was being groomed for academic success, grew
Speaker 2: up in after schools, very my parents were worked in
Speaker 2: the government. Back then. It was like upper middle class.
Speaker 2: That was that was the class living in Washington, DC,
Speaker 2: born and raised, and I can hear it. You know,
Speaker 2: I couldn't really compare. I had my growing parents because
Speaker 2: you know, I thought they were my parents. So I
Speaker 2: just thought that's what came with being the kid growing up.
Speaker 2: But after that day when they told me, you know,
Speaker 2: I lost myself. I forgot who I was supposed to be.
Speaker 2: I forgot what I was supposed to do in life.
Speaker 2: And about I say, about three four years from that,
Speaker 2: I met my mom, my biological family. Should I say
Speaker 2: I found out that I was I'm one of nine siblings.
Speaker 2: I'm not the oldest, second oldest, or third oldest. I'm
Speaker 2: the fourth old this and I am the only one
Speaker 2: that was sent away for adoption and put up for adoption.
Speaker 2: Should I say my mom? The story is she ran
Speaker 2: away from Philly to I guess my grandmother wanted to
Speaker 2: have an abortion and she ran away. Shout out to her.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. But in the midst of that,
Speaker 2: I was asking about my dad, and I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: my dad will my adopted father asks first on the
Speaker 2: first meeting, you know, we had set it up complic
Speaker 2: charities have found a way to bring us together much
Speaker 2: gratitude than them. But he had asked my grandmother and
Speaker 2: my mother, you know who your dad, who my father was,
Speaker 2: And it gave you some like contexts. My dad is
Speaker 2: kind of like an alpha male, not kind of like
Speaker 2: he is an alpha male marine from the country. A
Speaker 2: man's man, you know. He cut dry, he ain't no emotion,
Speaker 2: tell it like it is, you know. And he wanted
Speaker 2: to know who he was, and they say they didn't know.
Speaker 2: So I've known him now for about like ten ten
Speaker 2: eleven years, and throughout that process, you know, I had
Speaker 2: gotten closer to my mom. I was the one that,
Speaker 2: you know, went up there to visit all the time
Speaker 2: to show love, and my adopted father would always be like,
Speaker 2: chill out. You know what I'm saying, hold back your love,
Speaker 2: don't go up there. You know, you gotta understand where
Speaker 2: you come from. The whole tea, I was trying to
Speaker 2: figure out where I really came from because I didn't know.
Speaker 2: It felt like I had been living a lie, you know.
Speaker 2: So they say they didn't know. I always been asking them, like,
Speaker 2: you know, my dad talking to my siblings. Everybody else
Speaker 2: knew who their father was, so I just I could
Speaker 2: not really pinpoint why nobody knows who my dad is.
Speaker 2: But I left it alone because I came with open arms,
Speaker 2: me saying, my mom and my dad the ones that
Speaker 2: create me. It's a level of respect that I have
Speaker 2: for them, even though things turned out the way it did,
Speaker 2: even though they made the decision to do what they
Speaker 2: needed to do, or however however it was back then.
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I've come to learn that although
Speaker 2: I tried to dismiss it, it still bothers me. You know,
Speaker 2: I still want to know more. I still as much
Speaker 2: as I want to act like I don't care and
Speaker 2: not so much don't care, but it's nothing that I
Speaker 2: can get from. It's something, and my soul tells me
Speaker 2: that it's some more information. It always told me that,
Speaker 2: but it was just it was something out did. This
Speaker 2: didn't make sense. So around the pandemic, you know, everything
Speaker 2: was on the open truth, the lies. You know, it
Speaker 2: was a lot of spiritual information out there, and if
Speaker 2: you tapped in, you caught the beat. So one of
Speaker 2: the beasts that I caught mom, I caught my mom,
Speaker 2: my birth mom. One night, I cut her up on
Speaker 2: the FaceTime and she started talking about her father and
Speaker 2: this was like some information that I never heard. She
Speaker 2: never really talked about her past or whoever. And I
Speaker 2: felt like it was the perfect moment for me to
Speaker 2: post a question again, like where my dad at Because
Speaker 2: at this point in time, I'm kind of telling I'm
Speaker 2: bracing myself and telling myself, you know, happy birthday to
Speaker 2: my dad and rest the peace of my dad, all
Speaker 2: at the same time, all in the same breath. So
Speaker 2: it was just still on my heart to know who
Speaker 2: this guy was. So she started to elaborate a little bit,
Speaker 2: and the way she elaborated was if he was around
Speaker 2: when she ran away. The story for me always starts
Speaker 2: when she ran away from Philly to DC, you know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, And she gave me like a nickname,
Speaker 2: but she didn't when I went to ask her about
Speaker 2: who that name was that I've never heard, she kind
Speaker 2: of snapped out of it and got off the phone,
Speaker 2: you know, that type of time. So I was just
Speaker 2: left with that. But it felt like a little piece
Speaker 2: that I was getting closer, that I wasn't tripping to
Speaker 2: keep trying to be adamant, like who my dad is.
Speaker 2: So one day I'm at work, my grandmother calls. Now
Speaker 2: we didn't have that type of relationship where she called,
Speaker 2: you know, if I can't pop up in the city
Speaker 2: and I seen her. You know, it was the grandmother love,
Speaker 2: but it wasn't like the relationship that I over here
Speaker 2: like my other siblings have, or my one boy cousin
Speaker 2: he got real close with. It wasn't that or how
Speaker 2: the relationship was with my grandmother, my adoptive grandmother, my
Speaker 2: mother's mother, my adopter's mother's mother. So she called me
Speaker 2: and I mentioned to her about the conversation that I
Speaker 2: have with my mom. So she goes into a story
Speaker 2: that like absolutely blows my mom. And I don't want
Speaker 2: to get cut off. But one day she was at
Speaker 2: the bar in Philly and her homegirls. It's my grandmother,
Speaker 2: So I'm thinking she's probably like in her thirties, her
Speaker 2: early thirties, like my age around that time or something
Speaker 2: like that, and her good, good girlfriends told her that
Speaker 2: there was some dude talking about my mother, her daughter
Speaker 2: at the time, her minor daughter at the time, and
Speaker 2: my grandmother ain't like what the people were telling her,
Speaker 2: so she popped off at the bar and tried to
Speaker 2: shoot him. He said she shot at him. She said
Speaker 2: she shot at him three times. She missed though, but
Speaker 2: she shot at him. So when I hear that story,
Speaker 2: I'm like, Damn, I'm a bit taken back. I'm taking
Speaker 2: him back because I'm finally hearing something about my dad.
Speaker 2: But I'm also taking back like, damn, that's not no
Speaker 2: story you ever forget. And I have been asking you,
Speaker 2: I been asking everybody what's up with my dad? Like
Speaker 2: I don't care what type of man he is? Where
Speaker 2: he ain't in an alley. If he in an alley,
Speaker 2: we go get him, you know what I'm saying. If
Speaker 2: he at the jail, we go visit him. If he
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. If he up, We're gonna
Speaker 2: try to go see up with him and let him know.
Speaker 2: It's just all love. But I just wanted to know
Speaker 2: who my pops was. And you can't tell me that
Speaker 2: it's not fucked up that you wanna tell me your
Speaker 2: story like this, as if you never as something you forgot.
Speaker 2: Now you may have forced yourself to forget because it's
Speaker 2: something you don't want to think about that. I know
Speaker 2: you in your old age, lady, and you you know
Speaker 2: you in your Bible and all of this, and you're
Speaker 2: trying to get right before your days are however, yo,
Speaker 2: But I've been looked at for my dad and just
Speaker 2: the way that I opened my arms with no questions
Speaker 2: of why I'm Why am I the only one that
Speaker 2: got adopted? What was up with me? Why me? I
Speaker 2: never posed that? And also I ain't really had time
Speaker 2: because I was so broken in the fact that the
Speaker 2: people that I've been with and look like they not
Speaker 2: even my real parents and everybody else know before me.
Speaker 2: Everybody knew but me that type time, So I ain't
Speaker 2: really had time to try to go back on them
Speaker 2: on those I'm healing. I'm trying to heal. I'm growing.
Speaker 2: I had to make some mistakes through self sabosage. You
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, doubt myself. I lost myself. I
Speaker 2: ain't never get in trouble go Obama. You know where
Speaker 2: I like, really hurt myself where I can't come back.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. I want to try and
Speaker 2: hurt myself, kill my soul. But I felt some type
Speaker 2: of way, but my heart wouldn't allow me to have
Speaker 2: my fleshy feelings about this circumstance. Up.
Speaker 1: Hold up, I know this shit getting good, But listen
Speaker 1: to just a couple of seconds of a commercial.
Speaker 2: If you love me, you'll listen, so fast forward.
Speaker 1: I It's okay.
Speaker 2: I found something, you know, I found a lump on
Speaker 2: my breast, just a little something. At the time, it
Speaker 2: was just a little lump, and by me going to
Speaker 2: the doctor and stuff, that question kept th that was,
Speaker 2: you know your medical history? Do you know your family
Speaker 2: medical history? And I'm like, I kept just saying I
Speaker 2: don't know, I don't know. I feel so ignorant, just
Speaker 2: being like, I don't know. But ever since my grandmother
Speaker 2: told me that I haven't spoken to them, I just
Speaker 2: cut off all communication because the next thing that I
Speaker 2: have to say to my mom is something. It will
Speaker 2: be presented in a way that she's not used to,
Speaker 2: not by anger, not by verbal attack, nothing like that.
Speaker 2: But just like the questions, and I have more and
Speaker 2: more questions, I have combound. The questions are why me
Speaker 2: and all that's gonna come out, and I know it is,
Speaker 2: but at this point in time, I have a medical
Speaker 2: issue that's causing me to ask questions or why I
Speaker 2: don't know my medical history? Like I'm fine, I'm good,
Speaker 2: but if something else supposed to come up. You need
Speaker 2: to notice. You can't look at your adopted parents because
Speaker 2: they medical history don't matter. You can't you can't look
Speaker 2: at nobody that you've been around all your life, that's
Speaker 2: been family all your life, and get that piece of information.
Speaker 2: So what I'm asking you, Jess, is because I refuse to.
Speaker 2: I I've been holding on not calling them because I
Speaker 2: don't want to. I ain't never been that type of
Speaker 2: person in that bag, never, never, and I don't have
Speaker 2: none to say to them. But I know that the
Speaker 2: mature thing for me and my health is to know
Speaker 2: this type of information. I can't go in life without
Speaker 2: this information. So I'm asking you, like, where do I start? Like,
Speaker 2: although I want that piece of information, I can't let
Speaker 2: that information distruct me from really want to know the truth.
Speaker 2: Like why didn't you tell me who my dad was?
Speaker 2: And you know what the kicker was about the information?
Speaker 2: She told me that my dad died. She was like,
Speaker 2: I think your dad passed away. You know, I knew
Speaker 2: a couple of his friends, and bird on the street
Speaker 2: was that he died. Like that's what really like fucked
Speaker 2: me up. So you mean to tell me you're gonna
Speaker 2: tell me who this man is and then you're gonna
Speaker 2: tell me he did in the same sensus. I don't know, Jess,
Speaker 2: I just want to I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I ain't gonna see her. I act like I do
Speaker 2: know because I don't, and I wouldn't be here if
Speaker 2: I did. So, please, if you couldn't enlighten me, because
Speaker 2: I ain't trying to get the crying out here. And yes,
Speaker 2: and yes, I vest to a therapist. I been for
Speaker 2: a couple. I' vetted a few. But sometimes my story
Speaker 2: can be so attractive that I lose faith that they
Speaker 2: can help me, Like somebody can help me because they
Speaker 2: feel like they so caught up in my story because
Speaker 2: it's a lot more to it, just my healing journey,
Speaker 2: how I went from being broken walking around with a
Speaker 2: half a broken art to really get into my spiritual bag,
Speaker 2: my my healing bag, my god bag and everything in
Speaker 2: real arrange in my mind frame, my aura. Like I'm
Speaker 2: literally I found my purpose within this, within this mess.
Speaker 2: But I still got questions. Now you're telling me like
Speaker 2: I can't even see my dad because he did, like
Speaker 2: it's been that I haven't talked to him, and I
Speaker 2: still want to know, like what's his real name? Like
Speaker 2: that's how much it crushed me, Jess, But I appreciate
Speaker 2: you listening to me. I just had to get it out.
Speaker 2: It was I'm usually a lot more fluent in my conversation,
Speaker 2: in my words, but it's a it's a touchy it's
Speaker 2: a touchy subject for me. But I know for sure
Speaker 2: I can't let my story die because I feel like
Speaker 2: it's not worth it compared to others. So again, I
Speaker 2: appreciate you, I appreciate the listeners. But should I I
Speaker 2: want to make the car I want to pull up.
Speaker 2: But what do I say? Because I'm definitely need being
Speaker 2: considered of people's nervous systems, these old folks. I'm mamba
Speaker 2: bond on some shit just based on my experience. But nah,
Speaker 2: like tied, like I've really like, I'm trying my bag.
Speaker 2: I really need to know these things because you ain't
Speaker 2: sitting well with me. I keep thinking about it, man,
Speaker 2: But again, thank you, jess.
Speaker 1: Oh you're talking about you trying to cry a girl
Speaker 1: with shit? Okay, So no, this is heavy. This is
Speaker 1: one of the heavier stories that I've had, you know,
Speaker 1: and I've had heavy stories in the past, things that
Speaker 1: I felt like I could help with, but I still
Speaker 1: wanted people to get that extra professional coverage. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. You said you've gone to therapists and
Speaker 1: a lot of times therapy don't. It helps you express yourself,
Speaker 1: but it don't help to heal you, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So I do understand that while it works for a
Speaker 1: lot of people, it just it. It doesn't work to
Speaker 1: the fullest for a lot of people as well, you know.
Speaker 1: But I appreciate you sharing this with me, and just
Speaker 1: just a few things, yes, call them, call them. You
Speaker 1: got questions, boom, and I love how you're still trying
Speaker 1: to How can I say this, You're really trying to,
Speaker 1: You're still thinking about You're putting other people before yourself.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. You're still selfless in the situation.
Speaker 1: Notice I said selfless and not selfish, and not telling
Speaker 1: you to be selfish, but shit, you got to put
Speaker 1: yourself first, because ty, while you walking around broken hearted,
Speaker 1: you don't know who you are. You're trying to heal,
Speaker 1: and you don't even know what the hell you're exactly
Speaker 1: trying to heal from. You're still putting other people's feelings
Speaker 1: before yours. I don't care how old they are. You
Speaker 1: ain't supposed to care how old they are. Somebody owes
Speaker 1: you some answers, and it's not just your mom, that
Speaker 1: ain't just your grandmother. It's both of them, and they
Speaker 1: just have to be held accountable. That's the biggest word
Speaker 1: in this situation, accountability. You were a baby, like you said,
Speaker 1: you are one of nine children and the only one
Speaker 1: that was put up for adoption. I do respect your
Speaker 1: mom for not letting her, letting your grandmother, you know,
Speaker 1: force her into an abortion, because that's how you still
Speaker 1: hear so all that about suicide and killing yourself. You
Speaker 1: are here for a reason, and you do make a difference.
Speaker 1: Whether you feel like there are days that you don't,
Speaker 1: you do. You do make a difference. Know your story
Speaker 1: ain't about the fault to the wayside. And there are
Speaker 1: others just like you. Even if you don't do therapy,
Speaker 1: there are support groups. There are women and men just
Speaker 1: like you that feel like unknowns that feel worse than orphans,
Speaker 1: that feel that feel like they don't even know where
Speaker 1: they be long because they don't know who they are.
Speaker 1: You don't kill yourself for that, And you don't feel
Speaker 1: bad or or tiptoe around somebody's fucking feelings, you know,
Speaker 1: because you don't want somebody to feel bad. You don't
Speaker 1: want to trigger memory well, maybe if you do trigger
Speaker 1: a couple of memories, you can get some answers because
Speaker 1: you need that. You're in your thirties, Like you said,
Speaker 1: your whole world was flipped upside down. You seventeen, you know,
Speaker 1: discovering that the people that raise you aren't even your parents.
Speaker 1: You got a lump on your breast. You go to
Speaker 1: the doctor. You said you felt ignorant not knowing your
Speaker 1: medical history because you don't know shit about your dad's
Speaker 1: medical history or your mother's medical history. She owe you
Speaker 1: some answers. I don't care what she going. I don't care.
Speaker 1: And yes, you do come with love, but that love
Speaker 1: gonna only go but so far until it turns to hate,
Speaker 1: until it turns to anguish and misery. And that's not
Speaker 1: where you deserve to be. So for thirteen fourteen plus years,
Speaker 1: you've had a void that you have haven't been able
Speaker 1: to fill because you don't know who you are. It's okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest. I cannot relate to this. I cannot.
Speaker 1: But what I can do is tell you need to
Speaker 1: pick up that phone you want to pull up, Pull
Speaker 1: up shit, what they're gonna do? Shoot you shit? What
Speaker 1: can they do other than look at you like you're crazy,
Speaker 1: other than tell you more lies. You don't stop trying,
Speaker 1: You don't. You pull up your grandmother, you pull up
Speaker 1: your mom. Look, I know y'all may be going through things.
Speaker 1: I know these memories, may you know suppress y'all And
Speaker 1: this is a memory lane that you don't want to
Speaker 1: go down. But please for me, for me, tell me y'all,
Speaker 1: y'all think this shit is just gonna get swept under
Speaker 1: the rug? Why am I the one the only one
Speaker 1: of nine that had to be adopted by somebody else? Now,
Speaker 1: much gratitude to your adopted parents. They definitely did right
Speaker 1: with you. You're smart, you're articulate, yes you are, But you're
Speaker 1: still broken, beautiful woman, but you are still broken, and
Speaker 1: your adopted parents can't fix that shit. Even your mom
Speaker 1: and your grandmother they can't fix it. But they can
Speaker 1: help you fix it by telling you the fucking truth,
Speaker 1: which you need to demand. Like I said, I don't
Speaker 1: care how old they are. You don't need to care
Speaker 1: either how old your grandmother is. If she ain't nonverbal
Speaker 1: and physically disable, she can tell you. Oh, she can
Speaker 1: jog a memory she remembers, she shot at somebody who
Speaker 1: shot at your dad. She didn't like the way they
Speaker 1: were speaking of her daughter. So that tells me that
Speaker 1: she was automatically protective, overprotective, but fucking protective. That's her baby,
Speaker 1: all right, Cool, your mom she ran away because she
Speaker 1: didn't want to abort you. We don't know what the
Speaker 1: situation was back then, but that tells me she's protective
Speaker 1: in some type of way, protective over her child who
Speaker 1: was in her womb. She knew she didn't want to
Speaker 1: get rid of you. So you do have a purpose,
Speaker 1: you do, but you gotta dig deeper with them, and
Speaker 1: you can't be afraid to do it boom, because who
Speaker 1: else gonna do it? If you love me, you'll listen
Speaker 1: to this commercial and then we'll be right back. And
Speaker 1: it's okay. It's okay for you to get emotional with me.
Speaker 1: It's okay, sit I got emotional with you. You know.
Speaker 1: I wish I could give you the biggest hug and
Speaker 1: just snatch you up. I do wish that you need
Speaker 1: that from your mom, You need that from your grandmother.
Speaker 1: You need for them to just be like, fuck it. Listen,
Speaker 1: this is what happened. You don't stop because you went
Speaker 1: thinking about everybody else's nervous system. You don't stop, You
Speaker 1: don't stop. You be honest with them. You tell them
Speaker 1: these stories that I tried to kill my Listen, my
Speaker 1: world was flipped upside down. I need to know. Since
Speaker 1: I was seventeen, my life has not been the same.
Speaker 1: What happened, Man, was up. I'm your baby. I'm your
Speaker 1: baby too. Why mean? What did I do make her feel? You?
Speaker 1: You understand there's already a connection because she is your mother.
Speaker 1: Maybe she feels so bad about it. She trying to
Speaker 1: run from it. She tried to bury those memories. Man,
Speaker 1: dig them up, help her dig them up, and then
Speaker 1: y'all go to therapy together. That's how you clean that up.
Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck how long it take. You
Speaker 1: need your answers, and you need to get them. Your
Speaker 1: grandmother too. All three of y'all sit in the room,
Speaker 1: y'all talk, Make them talk to you, make them feel you,
Speaker 1: make them feel how you've been feeling. Make them see
Speaker 1: what this has done to you. A part of me
Speaker 1: wants to say, man, I wish that your foster parents
Speaker 1: didn't you know, your adopted parents didn't tell you this,
Speaker 1: But for that very reason that you were in that
Speaker 1: hospital at your appointment and you got the lump on
Speaker 1: your breast and they needed to know your medical history.
Speaker 1: Is why, the very reason why everybody should know where
Speaker 1: they came from. What if you have kids and they
Speaker 1: want to know where the fuck they came from, you
Speaker 1: need to have this information, period. And I love what
Speaker 1: you said about how you've gone to therapy and you know,
Speaker 1: you've been an open book to a lot of therapists
Speaker 1: or whatever, you know, but they get so lost in
Speaker 1: your story that they don't even help you. They don't
Speaker 1: even know what it is that can help you that
Speaker 1: they you know, because this is a very interesting story,
Speaker 1: But that don't mean you can't be helped. It ain't
Speaker 1: so interesting where they got to lose that way where
Speaker 1: you can lose your way on trying to help a person.
Speaker 1: It is, it's so interesting, you should write a book,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But you can't write a
Speaker 1: book until you get the end, you know, til you
Speaker 1: get more answers. I also love how you said you
Speaker 1: just want to know where your dad is. If he
Speaker 1: in the alley, let's go get him. If he locked up,
Speaker 1: let's go visit him. If wherever, wherever he is, you
Speaker 1: don't know his name, even if he is deceased, where
Speaker 1: is he buried, Let's go, let's go cemetery wherever, where's
Speaker 1: his family? You want to know your grandmother, your other grandmother,
Speaker 1: if your dad had any other kids, anything, anything. And
Speaker 1: I also love how your adopted parents helped you. What
Speaker 1: I want to say about them is, you know, like
Speaker 1: you said, your dad who raised you, he was telling you, man,
Speaker 1: don't go down you know, don't go down there and
Speaker 1: try to give all and huge sounds like he was
Speaker 1: just trying to protect you from being hurt because you're
Speaker 1: still there, baby, you know what I mean. And they
Speaker 1: raised you, you know, and they just seem like he's
Speaker 1: just seemed like he was trying to protect you. So
Speaker 1: you didn't say you were angry with him or whatever.
Speaker 1: But I just want you to know where that came from.
Speaker 1: That just came. That just comes from him not wanting
Speaker 1: to see his daughter hurt. Because this shit does hurt.
Speaker 1: This shit hurts me and it's not even my situation.
Speaker 1: You get what I'm saying. So I don't want you
Speaker 1: to give up just because you know, it seems like
Speaker 1: you've beating a dead horse. Beat that motherfucker till it
Speaker 1: comes alive. That's what it is. You need your answers,
Speaker 1: and you should get them money, and I want you
Speaker 1: to keep me updated. I want to follow your story more.
Speaker 1: If there's anything else you ever want to tell me.
Speaker 1: You keep on sending those voice notesboo, like you keep
Speaker 1: on crying to me, You keep on opening up. It's
Speaker 1: all right, shit, it's all right. You know I ain't
Speaker 1: too good to listen ever, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Neither are my listeners. Listen. Let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: So many people listen to this podcast where somebody will
Speaker 1: more than likely reach out to me to help you
Speaker 1: find your father's family. I've had things like that happen
Speaker 1: because somebody was listening and heard your story on my
Speaker 1: podcast and reached out to me to get information on
Speaker 1: you to help you find them. If you can't get
Speaker 1: those answers from your mom and your grandmother, but I
Speaker 1: think you still should try, still should try. It don't matter,
Speaker 1: Be persistent, it don't matter. Do not give up because
Speaker 1: they sleeping at night you're not. They know who they are,
Speaker 1: you don't, so they owe you that. I don't care.
Speaker 1: They owe you that and if you never get the
Speaker 1: masters from them, I'm telling you gonna get them from
Speaker 1: somewhere else, because there are ways. I have a cousin
Speaker 1: who found her dad, finally found her dad. Her mom
Speaker 1: told her the same thing, Oh he died. He died
Speaker 1: just because she wanted to suppress those memories, like nah, nah,
Speaker 1: what I went through with your dad was too horrifying.
Speaker 1: But the thing is, when my cousin found her father,
Speaker 1: he had just died months before she found him. Her
Speaker 1: mom was telling her he had been dead for years
Speaker 1: and he wasn't. He died from Sarka dosis months before
Speaker 1: my cousin found him. You get what I'm saying, So listen,
Speaker 1: it ain't ever too fucking late to do your own
Speaker 1: research and figure it out. Boom it ain't. And that
Speaker 1: shit didn't cost her much. You understand what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: So get your answers and hopefully somebody hear the story
Speaker 1: and reach out to me to help you do more.
Speaker 1: I love you, and keep updating me. And if you
Speaker 1: don't want to continue on the podcast, we can continue
Speaker 1: in the DMS. You know what I'm saying, because after this,
Speaker 1: after I end this episode, I'm still gonna be thinking
Speaker 1: about it. You know what I mean. This doesn't your story.
Speaker 1: Don't die right here because the episode is over, okay,
Speaker 1: So check back in and keep me up dated, bab.
Speaker 1: And just like that, we've come to the end of
Speaker 1: her story. Took up the whole thing, and that's fine
Speaker 1: with me. Y'all know we've had episodes like this before.
Speaker 1: So keep her in your prayers, guys, I know I
Speaker 1: sure will, and everybody have a blessed day out there,
Speaker 1: and in to all other people out there who feel
Speaker 1: like they don't know who they are because they're in
Speaker 1: the same situation, y'all need to do the same thing.
Speaker 1: Get them answers. There are people that can help you
Speaker 1: and your family now, whether they want to or not,
Speaker 1: it's on them. But I'm telling you, people know things,
Speaker 1: people know shit, and the truth can only be hidden
Speaker 1: for so long. I love y'all and then my deepest
Speaker 1: pan voice peace. Next weeks. Camp Reckless is a production
Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,
Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.