WEBVTT - Why can’t men find anything? 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.680 I'm manny, and this is no such thing to show 0:00:03.680 --> 0:00:06.280 where were subtle r dumb arguments and yours by actually 0:00:06.280 --> 0:00:08.639 doing the research this week, where the hell is the 0:00:08.720 --> 0:00:13.320 damn ketchup? No, there's no no such thing. 0:00:14.160 --> 0:00:18.239 Touch, thank touch, thank. 0:00:20.120 --> 0:00:23.400 Touch Touch. 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:32.680 This week is very kind of U you know, sitcom 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:37.760 coded episode, very King of Queen's style. It's about, I think, 0:00:37.760 --> 0:00:40.640 a common trope that men can't find things, you know, 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:43.879 in their own home, where presumably they would have some 0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:48.559 sense of where the condiments are, spices or other everyday items. 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:50.000 Do you guys relate to this? 0:00:50.640 --> 0:00:54.120 Yes, but I will I'll add in a dandum here 0:00:54.160 --> 0:00:57.320 that like, I've only run into this when I've lived 0:00:57.360 --> 0:01:01.120 with my partner. So like before, when I lived by myself, 0:01:01.160 --> 0:01:04.319 it was fine because there's only so many places a 0:01:04.360 --> 0:01:08.160 thing could be. But these days, yeah, there's like a 0:01:08.240 --> 0:01:10.400 learning curve a little bit when you move in with 0:01:10.440 --> 0:01:12.840 someone who does things a little bit differently me. 0:01:13.080 --> 0:01:14.000 I'm I'm easy. 0:01:14.160 --> 0:01:17.000 I'll adapt to your style, but you know it might 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:17.720 take me some time. 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:23.759 Okay, So you're you're basically did you have this issue 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:24.440 with roommates? 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:27.319 Are there men that you lived with? 0:01:28.440 --> 0:01:30.640 Not that I can remember, no, but would you be 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:33.080 sharing less of things? Yeah, that's what I really is about, 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:33.559 I think. 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:37.240 But you and your wife now have lived in two 0:01:37.319 --> 0:01:41.119 separate places where you both moved into these places together. Right, 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:46.520 So yeah, to some degree, you're setting up these places collaboratively. 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:48.800 It's not like she moved into your apartment. 0:01:48.760 --> 0:01:51.440 Yes, or you move We both went into these places. 0:01:51.520 --> 0:01:55.120 Okay, let's just remember that for later in the episode. Okay, Wait, 0:01:55.160 --> 0:01:57.080 what are certain things that you like are looking for 0:01:57.120 --> 0:01:57.760 that you can't find? 0:01:57.800 --> 0:01:58.960 Give us an example, you. 0:01:58.880 --> 0:02:01.280 Know what, it's really a problem when I'm putting stuff away, 0:02:01.360 --> 0:02:03.480 then I just put it to finding things, so I 0:02:03.560 --> 0:02:05.360 relate to unloading the dishwasher. 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:07.560 You put things in the wrong spots, or I'll. 0:02:07.360 --> 0:02:09.200 Be like, where does this thing go? That I never 0:02:09.240 --> 0:02:12.600 fucking use? So can I be held accountable for not 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:14.799 knowing where it goes? Sometimes I feel like I don't 0:02:14.880 --> 0:02:16.880 use the thing, you know, give me, cut me some slack. 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:18.280 But so you don't cook as often? 0:02:18.680 --> 0:02:20.720 I mean yeah, not as often for sure. But she 0:02:20.800 --> 0:02:22.560 drinks a lot of coffee and tea and has all 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:24.240 these like dow hickeys that I just never use. 0:02:24.280 --> 0:02:26.960 You don't know where to put feminine devices. 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:33.200 Tea. Hey I didn't say it, but not not really 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:39.080 in case you're listening to this, honey, Yeah, I. 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:43.880 Mean I'm trying to think what specific things definitely, like 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:46.040 I set it up, like spices and kind of small 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:49.080 items that aren't in everyday use. It could be in 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:51.440 one of two places and you know, maybe we have 0:02:51.520 --> 0:02:55.680 run out of the coriander, you know, outside of the kitchen. 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:59.760 Other things like where a certain type of towel is 0:02:59.840 --> 0:03:02.840 or anything like that, or cleaning agents. Yeah, yeah, it'll 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:04.919 be little things like that where it could be Okay, 0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:06.560 it could be in the bathroom under the sink. It 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:09.639 could be in the kind of storage closet, it could 0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:12.800 be in the office closet. Like you know, there's you know, 0:03:12.919 --> 0:03:15.320 our apartments not that big, but there's just so there's 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:17.240 like three or four places where everything is crammed in. 0:03:17.480 --> 0:03:21.120 And then because of that, it is kind of an 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:23.000 ordeal if you have to like move things out of 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:26.400 the way. So that's where I think maybe a lot 0:03:26.400 --> 0:03:28.280 of the frustration stems from where now it's like all 0:03:28.320 --> 0:03:31.120 right now I need to dig in here. That said, 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:33.480 I think some OF's this tripe comes up in a 0:03:33.520 --> 0:03:35.960 way where it's like, well, maybe I'm asking where it 0:03:36.000 --> 0:03:39.280 is so we can get to the answer quicker than 0:03:39.320 --> 0:03:42.800 me digging around, maybe making a mess. And you know 0:03:43.360 --> 0:03:46.520 when again, when it's not an everyday use item, it 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:48.400 might just be easier to have communication. 0:03:49.240 --> 0:03:51.120 But it's like asking my friend what time is the 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:53.720 Lakers game versus googling it. Like if I'm right next 0:03:53.760 --> 0:03:54.880 to my friend, he might know the answer. 0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:59.760 Okay, But to stand out for the women in your 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:02.760 life is kind of annoying. And we talk about this 0:04:02.800 --> 0:04:05.120 all the time when people ask you shit that they 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:06.960 should know or they can google. 0:04:06.640 --> 0:04:08.160 Themselves, weaponize some competency. 0:04:08.240 --> 0:04:09.200 Yes, I've heard this term. 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:12.880 Yes, So like if you, for example, Noah, You're like, dammit, 0:04:12.960 --> 0:04:14.360 I need some Lifesol wipes? 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:15.320 Where do we put that? 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:18.440 All right, this one time you're looking for it, you 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:19.920 don't know. You know it could be in one of 0:04:20.000 --> 0:04:23.240 three places. You find them, use them, you put them back. 0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:27.159 Three months from now you're thinking about where the Lifesol 0:04:27.200 --> 0:04:28.880 wipes are? Does that stick in your brain? 0:04:29.120 --> 0:04:29.560 You now know? 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:31.960 Okay, I've I've was looking for the Lefsol wipes at 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:33.680 one time. I know it's in Yeah, i'mder the sink 0:04:34.360 --> 0:04:36.080 or do you are you like a goldfish? 0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:36.800 You got start over? 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:38.400 You're like, I know it's in one of these three 0:04:38.400 --> 0:04:39.839 places I remember where if. 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:42.760 Everything is in order, hopefully then I typically I think 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:45.479 I do remember. That's okay, okay, But I think this 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:47.520 is also where you know, you can easily get into 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:49.800 a you know, teach a man to fish situation where okay, 0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:51.880 if I actually then go and get it myself, I 0:04:51.920 --> 0:04:52.960 will know, yes. 0:04:53.160 --> 0:04:56.159 Versus if you're told. If I'm told or you know, 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:56.680 go get. 0:04:56.600 --> 0:04:59.080 It grabbing for you then given to me, then maybe 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:01.920 I put them back, but not connecting the same way. 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:04.480 Yeah, just to concede a little bit here. There are 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:07.240 times when I'll get the answer and I think that 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:10.240 makes me forget about where it was, Like my my 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:12.760 problem that I was having was solved. 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:15.880 Yeah, and so you don't even have to remember to. 0:05:15.839 --> 0:05:18.080 Go so like next time, I'm like, damn, I didn't 0:05:18.640 --> 0:05:19.520 ingest that answer. 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:23.320 Yeah, in one air out the other. 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:26.360 But I do think some you know, many times I 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:32.120 think I like this, like we are remembering I think 0:05:32.240 --> 0:05:37.000 the times we ask where the thing goes, but of 0:05:37.040 --> 0:05:40.719 course you don't remember the times we don't ask. There 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:43.159 are I know true. I know all the things you do, 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:48.479 know where the bread is, where the cereal of the time, 0:05:48.640 --> 0:05:51.440 not asking where something goes. It's those moments where I 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:52.960 don't know that are more memorable. 0:05:53.000 --> 0:05:54.560 I think, how long do you think you're going to 0:05:54.680 --> 0:05:57.360 need until you're able to not have to ask? 0:05:57.520 --> 0:06:00.800 Well, I just think you're ever reached that day? Or 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:01.520 is it just like. 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:02.240 Surely over time? 0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:03.200 But I guess some of it. 0:06:03.360 --> 0:06:06.480 I don't think about it as like an assignment that 0:06:06.520 --> 0:06:06.920 needs to. 0:06:06.880 --> 0:06:09.280 Be so it's not something you're striving towards. 0:06:10.760 --> 0:06:15.080 No, it's relatively not important in my life. Okay, other now, 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:17.479 you know I do want to be helpful. 0:06:17.640 --> 0:06:21.680 Yeah, it's not so you're not embarrassed or like concerned 0:06:21.680 --> 0:06:23.320 that every once in a while you don't know where 0:06:23.360 --> 0:06:23.760 something goes. 0:06:23.839 --> 0:06:27.520 Yeah, I'm confident enough in myself that I'm able to 0:06:27.520 --> 0:06:29.120 ask for help. Yeah, you know it's a man. 0:06:29.160 --> 0:06:31.200 You're confident enough of your man wife. 0:06:31.520 --> 0:06:34.000 Yes, I'm able to say, babe, I need I need 0:06:34.040 --> 0:06:36.119 help right now? Where the hell is the catcher? 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:38.320 Please? 0:06:38.839 --> 0:06:43.360 The eggs are getting cold, crying the eggs get it's 0:06:43.400 --> 0:06:44.320 been six hours. 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:45.240 What the help? 0:06:45.520 --> 0:06:46.440 I've looked everywhere? 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:57.120 You know, I'm an investigative journalists here on the pod. 0:06:57.400 --> 0:07:00.279 So I didn't want to just take what both Menny 0:07:00.320 --> 0:07:02.520 and Noah said about their home lives and how good 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:06.719 they are at finding things. So I, you know, hopped 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:09.080 in the group chat that I have with the girls 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:13.040 secret we have a secret one. So I'm gonna play 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:17.240 some soundbites starting with Mia about how well does many 0:07:17.320 --> 0:07:18.800 do in a house at finding things? 0:07:19.040 --> 0:07:20.000 Be interested to hear this. 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:30.520 I think that he's like, doesn't quite have eyes for 0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:33.440 the kitchen, you know, keeps it sort of organized and stuff, 0:07:33.480 --> 0:07:35.120 but it's just like when it comes to like where 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:36.840 things go, I'm like, oh, this is so funny that 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:39.920 I kind of thought that we had organized the kitchen together. 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:43.400 And then sometimes I'll just be looking for something and. 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:45.480 I'm like, aware, enough. 0:07:46.120 --> 0:07:48.000 Could that possibly be? And I'll find it in a 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:50.800 completely different place and I'm like, oh, I wouldn't have 0:07:51.800 --> 0:07:54.880 thought to put it there when I hurt my back recently. 0:07:55.800 --> 0:07:59.080 So then Money was in charge of like doing everything 0:07:59.080 --> 0:08:03.520 in the kitchen, cooking, cleaning, like putting stuff away, and 0:08:03.600 --> 0:08:07.040 I'd be sat there next to him, like at the 0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:10.280 bar on a bar stool, watching him try to navigate 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:13.040 some of this stuff, and it was so funny where 0:08:13.040 --> 0:08:17.360 he's like holding up a measuring cup being like I 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:21.160 know where this goes, but like just remind me where's 0:08:21.200 --> 0:08:24.440 his go and I'm like, in that cupboard. The other day, 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:28.000 he was like putting a blender away, and he was 0:08:28.040 --> 0:08:31.400 going to put it with all of the canned goods 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:35.280 like where we have like beans and crushed tomato sauce. 0:08:35.960 --> 0:08:38.400 And I was like, oh, no, that doesn't go there. 0:08:38.440 --> 0:08:41.080 That just that goes in the next cupboard. So then 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:43.959 he was gonna put it below with all the vinegar. 0:08:44.720 --> 0:08:45.960 I was like, no, no, try again. 0:08:46.559 --> 0:08:47.160 It goes in. 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:49.760 Another cupboard, and eventually he found the cupboard where we 0:08:49.840 --> 0:08:52.520 keep appliances, and I was like, wow, that's that's so 0:08:52.640 --> 0:08:55.960 interesting that in my mind I just kind of like 0:08:57.280 --> 0:09:00.120 know where everything goes. But I was like, maybe he 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:02.400 comes into the kitchen every day and it's like what 0:09:02.559 --> 0:09:07.040 new adventures away? Where could this go? If I thought 0:09:07.040 --> 0:09:14.360 about it fresh? 0:09:14.840 --> 0:09:15.600 This is libel. 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:18.360 Did you know where the blender goes? 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:18.880 No? 0:09:18.960 --> 0:09:20.520 Because I don't fucking use the blender. 0:09:20.920 --> 0:09:25.320 I don't use this shit, so I need your help. 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:26.800 I don't put that shit anywhere. 0:09:27.120 --> 0:09:30.360 But I think generally ninety nine percent of the things 0:09:30.360 --> 0:09:33.240 I can't remember where they go. It's stuff I don't use, 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:34.480 I will. 0:09:34.240 --> 0:09:38.559 Say, to give me any credit, you were talking about 0:09:38.600 --> 0:09:40.120 people don't remember when you do. 0:09:40.000 --> 0:09:43.640 Find things exactly. We do have an example here. 0:09:44.040 --> 0:09:46.680 I was surprised to learn that he does know where 0:09:46.679 --> 0:09:51.120 we keep the like bulk salt because we have like 0:09:51.160 --> 0:09:53.400 a what do you call it, like a little jar 0:09:53.559 --> 0:09:56.640 with salt in it, and we refill it with this 0:09:56.720 --> 0:09:59.600 big salt thing that's kind of hidden in the back 0:09:59.640 --> 0:10:04.040 of the car cupboard. And I like had realized that 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:05.840 I was the one that you should refilled it. So 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:08.440 I was like, I wonder, like, I'm guessing he probably 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:10.000 doesn't know where it is. And then the other day 0:10:10.000 --> 0:10:11.440 he refilled it, and I was like, you know what, 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:14.199 maybe I'm wrong, Maybe he does know where these things are. 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:18.160 She's talking about me like a like a chimpion learn 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:19.199 how to use tools. 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:24.079 A shocking new development. Surprise, you knew where the salt is? 0:10:24.400 --> 0:10:27.319 All right? No, yeah, you're up next. 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:29.280 I know she's been waiting for this episode. 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:33.640 I will say you you were marked safe in terms 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:36.240 of most things in the kitchen. Yeah, not a lot 0:10:36.280 --> 0:10:38.679 of examples there you're pretty good about that. 0:10:39.040 --> 0:10:43.960 But Noah's issue is laundry. Mmmm. 0:10:44.320 --> 0:10:47.400 Oh well, it's not my laundry. 0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:49.959 Okay, let's play it. 0:10:49.559 --> 0:10:53.240 I'll take the many the many defense. Let's hear it. 0:10:57.120 --> 0:11:00.560 Noah cannot discern where my clothing goes at all in 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:03.720 a way that's like really should be studied, Like the 0:11:03.800 --> 0:11:07.960 sports bras are going with like the sleep clothes and 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:11.199 the T shirts are going in the underwear drawer, and 0:11:11.240 --> 0:11:13.760 like every time we talk about it, he's just like, right, 0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:16.520 but your system is hard, Like your system's hard, and 0:11:16.520 --> 0:11:18.720 there's something about it that just truly does not compute 0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:20.480 for him. Like I think if he could put it 0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:23.319 away right, he would, but every time he does it wrong, 0:11:23.640 --> 0:11:25.200 and every time I say, oh, that would be fine 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:26.760 if you did it wrong, because then you would learn, 0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:29.400 But it's like completely unknowable to him. I will try 0:11:29.400 --> 0:11:31.760 to explain the difference between an AARSM top and a 0:11:31.800 --> 0:11:32.319 sports bra. 0:11:32.880 --> 0:11:34.360 Really hard for him to get his head around. 0:11:35.000 --> 0:11:36.640 And I just feel like that's related in some way 0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:38.959 to just like complete inability to pick up on details 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:43.000 that feel so fundamental to like an art item's properties 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:43.480 to me. 0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:50.680 I'll explain my system, Okay, Yeah, there's pants in one drawer. Yeah, 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:55.600 there's like sweatshirts and sweatpants in another drawer. Above those, 0:11:55.640 --> 0:11:59.280 I've got socks one drawer. 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:03.000 Same, I've got a lot, way too many draws to 0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:07.199 it's it's more of a box, uh drawer thing, probably 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:08.160 not a big drawer. 0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:13.840 Like okay, so boys, and then underwear and like athletic shorts. 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:16.480 Okay, those are in the same. Yeah, my socks were 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:17.120 in my underwear. 0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:19.400 That makes sense. If I if I didn't have so many. 0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:21.040 Socks, you have less socks, maybe you could get it. 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:24.760 And then above that T shirts one drawer and then 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:27.840 another one for like basically polos and kind of some 0:12:27.920 --> 0:12:29.240 miscellaneous shirts that aren't like. 0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:30.600 Yeah, not a straight T shirt. 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:36.040 But that's my six drawers six that's my system. Yeah, 0:12:36.200 --> 0:12:40.319 her she is six drawers as well. It's just incomprehensible 0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:43.000 because the workout clothes seem like sleep clothes to me. 0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:44.000 But they're different. 0:12:44.679 --> 0:12:50.280 Apparently you don't know the difference between a sports. 0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:54.319 And then there then there's like and then it's like socks. 0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:57.280 It's it just to me, it seems like a jumpoint. 0:12:57.320 --> 0:13:00.120 Every time I opened them. I'm looking and one of 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:03.760 her drawers doesn't really it'll open or won't close. That's 0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:05.840 a whole over the level of frustration. Now where I'm now, 0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:07.000 I'm really messing this thing up. 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:10.160 Okay, So let me ask you. Is it what's confusing 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:12.240 to you? You don't know where things go, or you 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:13.280 can't discern what the. 0:13:13.480 --> 0:13:15.760 I can't discern what when I open the drawer, it's 0:13:15.760 --> 0:13:16.720 hard to tell what. 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:17.360 Which is which? 0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:20.080 What category should be in here? It is the issue. 0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:23.080 Now, let's be honest here. How much of this do 0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:25.000 you actually really care about? Like how much of this 0:13:25.120 --> 0:13:26.480 is like if you actually put your mind to it, 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:27.040 could you do it? 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:29.640 I mean it depends what you mean by put my 0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:31.640 mind to it. I mean do I care about it? 0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:32.200 No? 0:13:32.520 --> 0:13:35.320 Yeah, you know, I mean like part of it is 0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:38.079 like whatever, It's like, this is your stuff. Like if 0:13:38.080 --> 0:13:39.960 I put something in slightly the wrong drawer, it's not 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:40.600 that big of a deal. 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:41.280 That's more or less. 0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:42.480 You think that's more of it, or. 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:44.800 You think it's like you're like fuck every week, I 0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:46.920 am like trying my hardest to do this and it's 0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:48.600 just not clicked. I mean I could yeah, I could 0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:50.400 got a hard closed blindness or something. 0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:52.040 I could try harder. I think it is a little 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:54.880 bit of closed blindness, where like I'm not just throwing 0:13:54.880 --> 0:13:57.560 stuff in. Yeah, you're trying a little bit, but my 0:13:57.600 --> 0:13:59.959 system is a lot simpler, I think, even though I've sick. 0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:02.480 Wow, guy, there are a lot simpler. 0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:04.760 You've got like three categories. 0:14:05.200 --> 0:14:09.520 Well, let me play this because Julia also said this 0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:13.839 in her voice memo, and I think this rings tree 0:14:13.880 --> 0:14:14.080 to me. 0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:17.480 Obviously, I know that's not about finding things, but I 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:19.920 feel like, as I'm sure you all get into, so 0:14:20.080 --> 0:14:23.360 much of this is like dumbass, like mental load shit 0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:26.960 of like living in partnership with anyone where one person 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:29.160 is going to be better at something than others. But 0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:31.880 like the home is considered the woman's domain, whether I 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:33.520 want it to be or not, like whether I agree 0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:36.280 or not, and whether the people coming into my home 0:14:36.680 --> 0:14:40.560 agree or not. Ultimately, in my mind, I've been raised 0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:43.720 with like this is my responsibility. You haven't been raised 0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:47.960 that way, and I feel like that's obviously part of it. Okay, 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:50.800 you haven't been raised to really take not responsibility for this, 0:14:50.960 --> 0:14:53.040 but like you don't see it as at all related 0:14:53.080 --> 0:14:54.720 to who you are as a person or like a 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:56.920 value about you it's not as important to you to 0:14:57.000 --> 0:15:00.560 know where things go because it's keeping an organized is 0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:02.840 not a value judgment on you as a person, in 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:05.680 your capability to exist in the world in general. And 0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:08.680 so like then being met with obviously wanting to be 0:15:08.720 --> 0:15:12.920 a good partner and wanting to be helpful, then being 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:16.360 intently bad at something like that like feels bad. So 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:18.040 then it's kind of futile. 0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:20.800 You think that rings true to you that like you 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:23.960 just don't view it as like, well, you don't see 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:24.560 it as a reflection. 0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:27.120 I don't think it's you. I think there are worse 0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:32.040 character flaws for someone to have. And you know, I 0:15:32.040 --> 0:15:33.840 think in a perfect world we would all be able 0:15:33.840 --> 0:15:37.520 to mess up where things are, you know, And it's 0:15:37.560 --> 0:15:39.720 it's sad that this is what society has done to 0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:44.040 our queens, my queen specifically. 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:45.280 Yeah, people are dying. 0:15:45.360 --> 0:15:47.920 This is like they're big There are bigger issues in 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:50.600 a worried about the war is not top of the list. 0:15:50.600 --> 0:15:53.120 And if I can't, I can't distinguish the unicule tops 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:54.240 like have you seen the news? 0:15:54.520 --> 0:16:00.320 Yeah, because in the White House, speaking in a group chat, 0:16:00.560 --> 0:16:02.880 I want to make it clear both of them are like, oh, 0:16:02.880 --> 0:16:05.800 this isn't really that big of a deal in our relationship. 0:16:05.400 --> 0:16:05.720 But I was. 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:07.760 I was listening to what she was saying about, like 0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:11.320 what you're expected to do, or like what the home 0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:13.600 is a reflection on. But I kind of agree with 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:15.520 no where we're like, yeah, it should be the case 0:16:15.520 --> 0:16:17.480 that they're allowed to make more mistakes, not the case 0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:19.840 that I should be perfect at putting stuff away. 0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:22.320 I like what Julia says about like it doesn't matter 0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:23.800 kind of what we think, because it's like, yeah, if 0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:26.400 someone shows up to your house and your home is 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:28.600 a mess, yeah, they're not going to say oh God, 0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:31.040 damn manny or no, or I'm like, oh, what are 0:16:31.160 --> 0:16:32.160 Julian and mea doing? 0:16:32.280 --> 0:16:34.640 Like this place is a it's a hell hole. 0:16:35.200 --> 0:16:37.960 You know, nothing's organized, it's all over the place, right, 0:16:38.000 --> 0:16:39.320 So it is a reflection of the women. 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:41.240 I don't know about if I agree with that so much. 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:44.240 If someone's apartment was dirty, I'd be like, it's the 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:46.040 guy doing this, they're. 0:16:45.920 --> 0:16:48.560 Dirty, or but yes, you would think it'd be like, wow, 0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:49.800 I can't believe she puts up with that. 0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:53.040 Yes, you would think it's a want like she is, 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:55.640 because guys are expected to be dirty and the women 0:16:55.680 --> 0:16:56.760 are supposed to counter. 0:16:56.520 --> 0:17:02.040 It, honestly, genuinely speaking, probably like the war of feminism 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:04.600 in the past, like fifty sixty years has allowed these 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:07.359 kind of uffs to be on equal a little closer 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:10.080 to equal standing today than like in the fifties or 0:17:10.119 --> 0:17:12.400 sixties or seventies. Of course, if there was a dirty house, 0:17:12.440 --> 0:17:14.320 it'd be like who the hell did you marry? 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:15.040 Who's this woman? 0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:18.720 Yeah, Now it's more expected that men should help out 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:21.159 a bit in the home, but it's cenerally still not 0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:24.240 you know, it's not fifty to fifty, but it is 0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:26.600 is less like, you know, guy goes to work, shows 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:29.240 up at home and does absolutely nothing right, like they're 0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:32.000 I feel like guys get like shirtain chores now and 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:34.040 like yeah, ahead of or own household. 0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:36.880 So there's been a couple of theories on this one 0:17:36.960 --> 0:17:38.840 that I think is largely debunked is that this goes 0:17:38.840 --> 0:17:42.159 back to our you know, hunter gatherer yeah, cavement. The 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:45.920 theory is like, because men would go out to hunt, 0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:49.679 mm hm, we'd be we'd be looking for you know, 0:17:49.720 --> 0:17:52.960 animals moving holding like a bow and arrow or a spear, 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:55.600 I guess, so you're looking for things that are moving 0:17:56.800 --> 0:17:57.520 out in the land. 0:17:57.840 --> 0:17:58.800 Things that are stationary. 0:17:58.840 --> 0:18:01.000 Yeah, things that are stationary, we're blotting that out. It 0:18:01.000 --> 0:18:03.280 doesn't matter because we're not going after that, you know, 0:18:03.400 --> 0:18:06.919 we're looking for the will to beast or whatever. That's incredible. 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:10.440 And then people were also saying that, like, uh, men's 0:18:10.480 --> 0:18:15.240 peripheral vision is worse because we're laser focused on what's 0:18:15.240 --> 0:18:19.520 in front of us, which also explains why men will 0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:23.639 get caught looking at you know, pretty woman because the 0:18:24.720 --> 0:18:28.120 woman is you know, us hunk comes by, she can 0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:31.439 just look at the peripherals. It's not gonna be clocked 0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:32.199