Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 1: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, friend,
Speaker 1: or a terrible throatfle guess what you've got? Decisions doudah
Speaker 1: hump see hump a douda hanp siehmp. It's another hunt
Speaker 1: day of home mail and I am here sitting with
Speaker 1: Eden in play the Wheezy to give our advice. And
Speaker 1: this week again, if you look at the title, we
Speaker 1: are talking ethical non monogamy. Now before we get started,
Speaker 1: please please please send your questions in to Decisions Decisions
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. You can find that email in
Speaker 1: the description of this episode. And if you don't really
Speaker 1: like listening, but you like watching and listening, you can
Speaker 1: catch this full video over on our patreon Patreon dot
Speaker 1: com backslash Horrible Decisions.
Speaker 2: Now, let's get into.
Speaker 1: The ethical non monogamy of it all, because that's kind
Speaker 1: of where we're leaning a bit more too. With decisions.
Speaker 1: Decisions are the decisions around what styles of relationships work
Speaker 1: for you what doesn't, leaning into things that may be
Speaker 1: non traditional or customizable. Y'all know my favorite words customizable. Okay,
Speaker 1: so this one is a brief question, like a brief
Speaker 1: email that we got, but there's a lot to dig into. Okay,
Speaker 1: So here we go, Hey, Mandy and Weezy. I'm a
Speaker 1: new listener to the podcast and loving it. By the way,
Speaker 1: a little background on me. I am a twenty three
Speaker 1: year old female and have been single for two and
Speaker 1: a half months. I decided to start back dating and
Speaker 1: just want to explore the dating scene. I'm currently dating
Speaker 1: someone who is thirty one years old. He's a man
Speaker 1: who's ethically non monogamous. I tell myself I am okay
Speaker 1: with that, due to the fact we both agree that
Speaker 1: we were exploring the dating scene and we're not ready
Speaker 1: for a relationship. However, this is my first experience in
Speaker 1: a non monogamous relationship, and although I say I am
Speaker 1: okay with it, I tend to feel jealousy and feel
Speaker 1: the need to control. Question, what advice do you guys
Speaker 1: have to give? I am open to receiving. So let's
Speaker 1: first break this down just a little bit. She's twenty
Speaker 1: three years old. She is dating someone about eight years
Speaker 1: her scene grides's like my age gap that I like
Speaker 1: right now. I love that age gap. Even give me
Speaker 1: a twenty six year old yes, oh oh you well
Speaker 1: you would I were younger. Now, you wouldn't got older
Speaker 1: eight years older. I would go eight years older. What
Speaker 1: is that forty two or so?
Speaker 2: I don't think I would date a twenty two year old.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie I would. I would date forty two.
Speaker 1: I like eight years difference right now. But I prefer younger, honestly,
Speaker 1: because they're more open to this non monogamous idea. They're
Speaker 1: a different generation and they're just a little bit more open.
Speaker 1: I think the thirty one year olds my age demo
Speaker 1: not even strict into it. They just throwing the word
Speaker 1: out without really knowing what the fucking means, and they
Speaker 1: don't have the accountability of how to fully navigate it yet.
Speaker 1: But also, I feel like my generation is full of
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of undiagnosed niggas.
Speaker 2: Damn.
Speaker 1: They don't want to go to town and actually might
Speaker 1: be autistic.
Speaker 3: Damn. Damn.
Speaker 1: Well, oh my god, this is why it ain't nobody
Speaker 1: my hate put your headphones on, sorry, shots fire, pew all.
Speaker 1: The men my age are just like, what is wrong
Speaker 1: with you?
Speaker 2: That's what I'm thinking.
Speaker 1: You're in the mix of dealing with the patriarchy of
Speaker 1: still needing to be leaders while not knowing how to
Speaker 1: be leaders, while bringing their trauma, while also still being
Speaker 1: a bit homophobic, but leaning into not knowing what they
Speaker 1: want sexually, and then also still want to be the
Speaker 1: man of the house without knowing how to lead. It's
Speaker 1: just a whole bunch of men that raised unfortunately in
Speaker 1: singing a single pair of households. They don't know what
Speaker 1: the fuck they're God, I am sorry raise the question.
Speaker 2: Sorry, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I want no age. I mean like you're a millennial.
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, sorry, this is me projecting. Sorry for all
Speaker 1: of the millennial medal listeners. Boyfriend, I go jes z
Speaker 1: or gin y you want to so bad?
Speaker 2: Don't do that? Any who? AnyWho.
Speaker 1: So she's twenty three with thirty one. Let's let's first
Speaker 1: tap into the fact that one she has never dated
Speaker 1: anyone who is non monogamous, and she's only agreeing to
Speaker 1: it currently because they're both exploring the dating scenes. So
Speaker 1: I want to lean into if you there's two things.
Speaker 1: Are you exploring the dating scenes to find a partner
Speaker 1: or are you exploring the dating scenes to fuck? To me,
Speaker 1: if you're exploring the dating scene to fuck, this cool
Speaker 1: makes sense. Because you both have agreed to non monogamy
Speaker 1: and maybe sharing with each other.
Speaker 2: That's the thing.
Speaker 1: Ethical non monogamy has all these different umbrellas, Right, Maybe
Speaker 1: you share with the person what you're doing. Maybe you don't,
Speaker 1: but you're just aware. Right if you're exploring the dating
Speaker 1: scene to find a partner and you're questioning if that's
Speaker 1: even the type of relationship you want to get in.
Speaker 1: I do feel like you need to dig into more
Speaker 1: of what boundaries and what the dynamics of this ethical
Speaker 1: non monogamous guy looks like. Because if you're already leaning
Speaker 1: into the fact that you're jealous or you might want
Speaker 1: to just be a bit more controlling, I actually would
Speaker 1: lean into what is your relationship style, because jealousy is
Speaker 1: a normal filing. Whether you're monogamous or non monogamous, you
Speaker 1: are going to feel jealous in some instances.
Speaker 2: It is going to happen. How you manage it.
Speaker 1: How you manage your jealousy is before in here. That's
Speaker 1: a different conversation, right. The second one. I don't think
Speaker 1: it is healthy, whether you acknowledge or not, to say
Speaker 1: that you want to be a bit controlling within a
Speaker 1: romantic partnership.
Speaker 2: Controlling is controlling? Is is a strong word?
Speaker 1: Is a strong word, as well as is this person
Speaker 1: now your property? Does this person now have to listen
Speaker 1: to you?
Speaker 2: You could be stern.
Speaker 1: You can also set boundaries exactly and you believe if,
Speaker 1: but controlling is a bit worrisome. So I think that
Speaker 1: at twenty three years old, this is honestly my advice.
Speaker 1: Who are you? And I know you're not going to
Speaker 1: know that at twenty three, right, bitch, I didn't, don't.
Speaker 1: I just kind of got some point where I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm still figuring it out, bitch, and I'm a decade
Speaker 1: above you, right, So don't do that?
Speaker 2: No, you know what it was.
Speaker 3: Here's a conversation we had with Alex before, and it's
Speaker 3: like ten years is one thing. But you just said,
Speaker 3: I know the decade is so all right, I'm sorry, I.
Speaker 1: Got you about ten years. Sis said, Okay, I think that,
Speaker 1: and I think that I wish more people would do this.
Speaker 1: Those words are negative how you will show up in
Speaker 1: a relationship, Those things will bring toxicity. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: it's a very mature response, but I do think it's
Speaker 1: real that you do have to sit with how you
Speaker 1: manage those two things. How do you manage jealousy and
Speaker 1: how do you bring it to your partner when something
Speaker 1: they do brings about that emotion? And this could be
Speaker 1: for anyone, not even if you're twenty three, but thirty,
Speaker 1: forty fifty. And then the other part is why do
Speaker 1: you feel like you need to control a relationship? Why
Speaker 1: is the idea not a partnership or working through or
Speaker 1: why are you not looking for someone that can be
Speaker 1: someone that you don't need to control.
Speaker 2: I mean, Surety's still young as hell. I do think
Speaker 2: she's youngest like I. So okay, So.
Speaker 3: That's funny because right before we recorded this, I did
Speaker 3: to Mandy that I've never been in a scenario where
Speaker 3: there was like where it was kind of open like
Speaker 3: that I actually have. It was a situationship. And I
Speaker 3: say situationship because like, yes, we were fucking whatever and
Speaker 3: we would go on oc casual dates, but we both
Speaker 3: also knew we had the ability to see other people, right,
Speaker 3: And I was fine with it. I was like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I understand that.
Speaker 2: Y'all weren't official, right, No, okay, no.
Speaker 3: But I knew that there's a possibility. I knew there
Speaker 3: was a possibility that she might fuck somebody if something
Speaker 3: were to happen, right, and me and her had the
Speaker 3: same thing, which was, if such and such did happen,
Speaker 3: it's either we get tested or both. It's we'd be
Speaker 3: safe and we get tested.
Speaker 2: Okay. That was the open boundary that we had that
Speaker 2: we knew, like, hey, keep that respect for each other.
Speaker 2: That on top of let's say I'm judging y'all if
Speaker 2: y'all date it, because when you date and.
Speaker 1: Y'all know, I'm the condom police. Yeah, if you're dating
Speaker 1: multiple people, I don't think you should be out here
Speaker 1: fucking multiple motherfuckers unprotected.
Speaker 2: No, you shouldn't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I do agree you should still get tested. Yeah,
Speaker 3: get tested, but also be safe. That's also I use
Speaker 3: a condom. Like, that's why I use a condom, right,
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 1: We're gonna agree to seeing other people while we're dating. Yeah,
Speaker 1: bruh condoms.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Also, like I guess another boundary that was I don't
Speaker 3: think we really spoke about it that much, but we
Speaker 3: were in like similar mutual circles, right, so then like,
Speaker 3: you know, don't be raggedy, like, don't be with me
Speaker 3: and then be with like one of my close friends
Speaker 3: or something like that.
Speaker 2: That was another boundary that.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm not mad at that.
Speaker 3: So getting in to the whole jealousy thing, right, there
Speaker 3: were times I'm not gonna lie. I think like, dang,
Speaker 3: what if she's with another guy right now? I kind
Speaker 3: of felt a little type of way, even though there
Speaker 3: was no that's my girl or I don't have I
Speaker 3: don't want to say ownership.
Speaker 2: I think ownership is great and I hate that. Damn
Speaker 2: what's the proper word?
Speaker 1: Yeap?
Speaker 2: I didn't even hate.
Speaker 1: That, would would be less.
Speaker 3: I felt nesive. Sure, let's just say that I thought
Speaker 3: I was. I was feel pud. I never exhibited those
Speaker 3: feelings into trying to be negative, No throw stuff in
Speaker 3: her or her face orthing like that, because I was like, yo,
Speaker 3: you do you as I do me. We just kind
Speaker 3: of respect each other. That's I think that's a hard
Speaker 3: thing to do though. That's really hard thing to do,
Speaker 3: especially at that age.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, and especially he's again that's what he's
Speaker 1: but he's older. And so that was my question too,
Speaker 1: and I kind of wanted to lean into that. Can
Speaker 1: age difference be a negative thing in non traditional dating?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're in two different positions.
Speaker 3: I do it could be for better or worse, doesn't
Speaker 3: it right, someone's better off than the other. It's likely
Speaker 3: that they might agree, But yeah, it's such a contrast.
Speaker 3: A twenty three year old is not going to understand
Speaker 3: the mentality and lifestyle of a thirty one year.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie when you. When you asked me
Speaker 1: if I would date someone eight years older, right, so
Speaker 1: eight years younger, I immediately said yes, especially in a
Speaker 1: non non monogamous dynamic. Yes, because it's for fun. Well
Speaker 1: not only no, it's not even for fun. I would
Speaker 1: do a real relationship that way. But with a twenty
Speaker 1: six year old yes, you know why, because I feel
Speaker 1: like they've been open to the pronouns, the open the
Speaker 1: different sexualities. They've seen more of those dynas growing up
Speaker 1: on television, And it's the conversations they're having at a
Speaker 1: younger age.
Speaker 2: The two girlfriends, we've seen it publicly, they've grown.
Speaker 1: Up with it publicly. So for me, a forty one
Speaker 1: year old or forty two year old, and I wait,
Speaker 1: with all respects, it's kind of more difficult to teach
Speaker 1: an old dog new trouthe and so I know, and
Speaker 1: so trying to convince someone who's lived a longer life
Speaker 1: where monogamy, whether they were really monogamous or not, maybe
Speaker 1: they were cheaters. If it worked for them, it would
Speaker 1: be harder to convince them to try this new style
Speaker 1: of dating. Right, So that's the other thing. So storytime
Speaker 1: for me, well not really storytime, but I got into
Speaker 1: a really good conversation last night with my friend Troy.
Speaker 1: So we went out to dinner. And she's a bit
Speaker 1: older than me. She probably has me by I would
Speaker 1: say maybe ten fifteen years, so she's a bit older
Speaker 1: than me. And it's so crazy how much we are
Speaker 1: so much alike because we are both looking for primary
Speaker 1: a relationship, primary partners, whatever you want to call them.
Speaker 1: But we both know we want an ethically non monogamous
Speaker 1: set up in our relationship. So we want a non traditional, ethical,
Speaker 1: non monogamous relationship, yes, and in what we want. What
Speaker 1: we're realizing is we went through realizing that we are
Speaker 1: currently in a revolution. Right hear me out as women specifically,
Speaker 1: if we go back to the early sixties up through
Speaker 1: the seventies, there was that American dream family dynamic. A
Speaker 1: husband or wife, the kids, the dog, the white picket fence,
Speaker 1: the American dream right. However, at that time, and you
Speaker 1: guys can look it up from the sixties, a woman
Speaker 1: could not get a bike account without being married, she
Speaker 1: could not own a home. There were a lot of
Speaker 1: jobs that were not open for her. So being a
Speaker 1: wife and a mom was the role of a woman.
Speaker 2: Then you go through the seventies where shit starts to change.
Speaker 1: Women get the right to vote, women are able to
Speaker 1: get bank accounts, women are able to hold different positions
Speaker 1: within you know, society. Right.
Speaker 2: What was the birth control at that point too?
Speaker 1: Ooh, I'm not sure, but that's where like the flower power,
Speaker 1: like where sexual liberation and even planned parenthood and all
Speaker 1: those things started becoming where a woman could make those
Speaker 1: choices they leaned into no longer like graphic. But you're
Speaker 1: not going down the stairs, You're not going to the
Speaker 1: person in the back alley. There's now options for family planning. Yes,
Speaker 1: so that takes place, right, So now you have women, okay,
Speaker 1: being able to have a little bit more rights. Then
Speaker 1: we get, unfortunately, to the role of I would say
Speaker 1: the eighties early nineties. I like to refer to this
Speaker 1: as the dismantling of the black family by the crack
Speaker 1: epide as well as government assistance. So during this era,
Speaker 1: a woman actually was pushing a man out of the
Speaker 1: house so that they could get helped by the government,
Speaker 1: food stamps, section eight, all the things, and a man
Speaker 1: could not be present in the home. Fast forward more so,
Speaker 1: I would say early two thousands till now women are
Speaker 1: CEOs my era millennials. We were pushed into independence. We
Speaker 1: were pushed to go get a degree, we were pushed
Speaker 1: to school, we were pushed to worry about marriage and
Speaker 1: children later. That can all come later, but focus on
Speaker 1: you first. And so where we're at now is the
Speaker 1: quote unquote modern woman, where Okay, I could be the
Speaker 1: head of household. I don't need kids. I don't want kids,
Speaker 1: or y'all have been hearing what I've been going through
Speaker 1: with all of my friends. I waited so long, I'm
Speaker 1: dealing with infertility.
Speaker 2: Shit. I want a successful man.
Speaker 1: He don't cheat. I don't stay with cheaters before. That's
Speaker 1: not a deal breaker for me.
Speaker 2: So what does that look like? I'm only smiling because
Speaker 2: I'm just like it makes it, And so now I
Speaker 2: just wish.
Speaker 1: Me neither. But now I could be the head of household.
Speaker 1: So nigga, I don't need you to pay it. I
Speaker 1: get paid from anything. And you know, we're in this
Speaker 1: era where, Wow, the idea of polyamory is introduced to me,
Speaker 1: the idea of swinging is introduced. Whoa black people go
Speaker 1: to sex clubs?
Speaker 2: Wait?
Speaker 1: I can share my kinks and not be judged, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? And so we're in this revolution
Speaker 1: currently as women, we're damn the traditional setup of a
Speaker 1: traditional family, the patriarchal realm, and tradition of a standard heterosexual.
Speaker 1: It's also we're talking about heterosexual relationships because also, lets
Speaker 1: me very clear, the gays just got the right to
Speaker 1: be married, and now the ship may be taken away.
Speaker 1: We don't know what the fuck is happening, but he
Speaker 1: let's be clear. The rights of women to choose what
Speaker 1: happens with their body, it could be taken away. So
Speaker 1: we're dealing with all of these things right, and we're like, damn,
Speaker 1: what do we want? Because the truth of the matter
Speaker 1: is my worth and my value is not depending on
Speaker 1: me being a mom or a wife. Yeah, I now
Speaker 1: have the wherewithal to actually live the life that I want,
Speaker 1: my own hobbies. I can live for myself and not
Speaker 1: live for my kids. Legacy could not look like my kids.
Speaker 1: It can look like what I do with my nonprofit.
Speaker 1: It can look like what I do for my community.
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to just be what I leave through children.
Speaker 1: It can be what I leave through entrepreneurship or my
Speaker 1: art or all of these other options. Which is, you
Speaker 1: know where I stand and so, but romantically, I would
Speaker 1: love a partner to share this with. Romantically, my trajectory
Speaker 1: of a relationship might not be kids or marriage at all.
Speaker 1: So how do I communicate that with a man that
Speaker 1: I want you, I don't need you, but also I
Speaker 1: want to share my life with you because that's what
Speaker 1: I want and I want you to know that our
Speaker 1: trajectory could look like every which way and it doesn't
Speaker 1: have to look like move in, have get married, have kids,
Speaker 1: combine families like it doesn't have to look like that.
Speaker 1: And unfortunately, as women trying to dismantle the word whorror
Speaker 1: through all of the things, because now we can be
Speaker 1: sexually we can tell you what we want and sexually
Speaker 1: we can live through these things. How do we keep
Speaker 1: our dignity, keep our jobs, be proud without literally affecting
Speaker 1: the goddamn ego of a man? Because now we don't
Speaker 1: need you to protect and provide. We need you to
Speaker 1: show up emotionally. We need you to have the emotional
Speaker 1: intelligence to help.
Speaker 2: To talk to me. We want to hold you accountable.
Speaker 2: We should be allowed to do that. Now, you know.
Speaker 3: It's funny because then going back to the scenario of
Speaker 3: the home mail, just like you mentioned, you feel like
Speaker 3: a lot of people from gen Z and stuff are
Speaker 3: a lot more exposed through the polyamorous side of things.
Speaker 1: She's not, though she's aware of it. Wait, but she's
Speaker 1: also so open to it that she's willing to try
Speaker 1: it because and I think that's so to me even
Speaker 1: and she may but she may also be open to it.
Speaker 1: Weasy shares how she gets jealous and feels sometimes she
Speaker 1: struggles with it. She listens to this pod. There's times
Speaker 1: where I don't think I really felt I was mad
Speaker 1: as fuck that this nigga cheated, but I didn't really
Speaker 1: experience jealousy like that. Would you tell her to try
Speaker 1: it then, regardless of the age difference.
Speaker 2: I would.
Speaker 1: So I'm fine with you trying ethical non monogamy, yes,
Speaker 1: but I want everyone considering getting into any sort of relationship,
Speaker 1: especially to try ethical nominogamy. Because you want to, not
Speaker 1: because you found a guy you like that's happened to
Speaker 1: be ethical nomenogamists and now you're agreeing to it because
Speaker 1: you like it. That's the other problem. A lot of
Speaker 1: times we go into continue to date guys that really
Speaker 1: don't align with us, or like, we'll give it a try,
Speaker 1: and then we'd be mad when it don't work.
Speaker 3: Well, if you were really down with the the.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: But that's what I'm saying. Okay, you're jealous and you're controlling.
Speaker 1: Are y'all dating outside of each other? Do you want
Speaker 1: thre do you want to go to sex clubs? What
Speaker 1: does ethical, non monogamous and the boundaries look like with
Speaker 1: this partner? Because bitch, if you don't want three sims
Speaker 1: because you don't want to taste a little kucci, this
Speaker 1: nigga not gonna work for you. Because maybe he wants
Speaker 1: a partner to bring into threesomes? Are you fine with
Speaker 1: going to watch sex and be watched because ethnically not
Speaker 1: not ethically non monogamously he wants to go and venture
Speaker 1: into the sex club route, or he wants to emotionally
Speaker 1: be invested in you and have another girlfriend are you
Speaker 1: fine with that? Because for me, who's someone who is
Speaker 1: ethically nominogamous, I don't know how much I want that
Speaker 1: with a new partner. I'll be honest, all date a
Speaker 1: guy who has a girlfriend and I'm a second girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Oh a bitch, I'm asking you for everything public both
Speaker 1: I don't know it like both like I don't mind dating.
Speaker 1: I mean the only nig I would allow that for
Speaker 1: has a lot of coinst have a lot of a
Speaker 1: lot of co.
Speaker 2: Huh.
Speaker 3: Otherwise no, but yeah, again, let's just go with she
Speaker 3: should or she shouldn't.
Speaker 1: I think she should if she's curious about that lifestyle.
Speaker 1: That lifestyle, I don't think she should. If she doesn't
Speaker 1: really think it's actually I think that makes sense. Let
Speaker 1: me see if I have because I do feel like,
Speaker 1: try todjus for just our partner. And then next thing,
Speaker 1: you know, we realize we really don't like you don't
Speaker 1: even want it. You don't even have to be about polyamorous.
Speaker 1: It could be anything anything. Well, I wanted to leave
Speaker 1: off with this and for you, someone who is not
Speaker 1: really interested in it.
Speaker 2: But when it comes to relationships super monogamous.
Speaker 1: What are three things that should what are three things
Speaker 1: someone should consider before getting into an E and M relationship?
Speaker 1: Three things? What would be your three things?
Speaker 2: Ooh?
Speaker 1: Like for me, the first one is what under the
Speaker 1: umbrella of ethical non monogamy is allowed and not allowed?
Speaker 1: And when I say that is what I just said
Speaker 1: it would be Are you down for threesomes? Are you
Speaker 1: down for sex clubs? Are you down for swinging and
Speaker 1: wife and boyfriends swapping? Are you down for like what
Speaker 1: what we're under the umbrella of ethical non monogamy? Are
Speaker 1: you willing to try? And what are you not?
Speaker 3: I feel like that almost covers my all three yeah,
Speaker 3: because it's just a boundary. Are we both going to
Speaker 3: be dating this person is another thing too, right, because
Speaker 3: it's like a scenario of like I'm just dating them
Speaker 3: or we both did Yeah, those are.
Speaker 1: The but that's the umbrella of polyamory, Like, so are
Speaker 1: you going to be are you going to be polyamorous?
Speaker 1: Are you going to be a swinger? Are you going
Speaker 1: to be what else is there? And are you going
Speaker 1: to be open? Are you looking to be a triad?
Speaker 1: Are you looking to be a unicorn? Triad? Is like
Speaker 1: you're all dating each other?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I honestly the idea of two girlfriends sounds crazy to.
Speaker 1: Me, miserable. I'm sure y'all already know this one. I
Speaker 1: ain't really really gay, Like I'm a little gay because
Speaker 1: I eat koochie, but dealing with a woman fellas, I
Speaker 1: don't know.
Speaker 2: But also, on the other hand, I don't know how
Speaker 2: to fuck.
Speaker 1: I like men because I don't like your nig.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, you, would you ever try dating
Speaker 2: two men at the same time?
Speaker 1: I would love that?
Speaker 2: And you've never done that? No, that's so interesting.
Speaker 1: Actually, I mean, have you gott Have I been talking
Speaker 1: to two niggas at the same I'm.
Speaker 2: Talking about They both know that they your boyfriends?
Speaker 1: No, except okay, kind of closed.
Speaker 2: But not really okay.
Speaker 1: So that dream so one of the one of the
Speaker 1: main guys that's still in my in the picture now
Speaker 1: that I've talked about on the pod briefly, I don't
Speaker 1: really I don't. I don't really share about it. I
Speaker 1: found out my clips be coming across his algorithm. I said, oh, no,
Speaker 1: that came across the algorithm.
Speaker 2: Yo, I'm new.
Speaker 1: So in my past relationship, y'all know, I broke up
Speaker 1: with that nigga thirteen times. Every time he chose to
Speaker 1: broke up with me cause Nigga, I didn't want to
Speaker 1: break up. You just was manipulating me because you were
Speaker 1: fucking nurcisses and you were putting me on ice. Every
Speaker 1: time we broke up. I went right back to this guy, damn.
Speaker 1: And I shared that.
Speaker 2: Damn.
Speaker 1: So when towards the latter end of the relationship he
Speaker 1: knew who it was, okay and would ask me, so,
Speaker 1: did you go see such and such? Indeed, oh gosh,
Speaker 1: don't ask a question you don't want to know the
Speaker 1: answer to. And so that got thrown into my face
Speaker 1: quite a lot. Like hell, that team was not allowed
Speaker 1: on our television screen.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, even what if I'm watching the highlights
Speaker 3: and such and such?
Speaker 2: Bulls up, I'll be tight.
Speaker 1: And haven't forbidden them, haven't forbidd them? Niggas made the
Speaker 1: playoffs or finals or they the ship kept going through
Speaker 1: the season.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I was trusting.
Speaker 1: It got awkward.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I'm not gonna hold you.
Speaker 1: We'd be at a bar in the West Village. Now
Speaker 1: now we got to leave the bar. Really, it's like
Speaker 1: it was like that, No, no, you know what, I
Speaker 1: get it. I get it, though, damn, because then it
Speaker 1: would ruin the mood. Now that nigga on the TV
Speaker 1: ain't just.
Speaker 2: Scored, I'll be tight. I'd like get me.
Speaker 1: So even And it probably doesn't help that he's clearly
Speaker 1: followed the pod and has seen you know, me talking,
Speaker 1: knows I'm talking about. So that nigga still in the
Speaker 1: picture after me and is goddamn still he sh and
Speaker 1: still in the picture and is So let me ask
Speaker 1: you a question.
Speaker 3: So what does two boyfriends look like for Mandy Bee
Speaker 3: in a perfect world?
Speaker 1: In a perfect world, both tall ship, both riches both Yes, No,
Speaker 1: I can't be.
Speaker 2: Only one.
Speaker 1: Give me a nigga with dress or Jason Mamo wall
Speaker 1: got long curl d Yeah, I like me a little
Speaker 1: body outside of aesthetic. I'm fine with one having more
Speaker 1: money than the other in a perfect but that's what
Speaker 1: you're thinking about. Yeah, just money matters. Okay, wait outside
Speaker 1: of that. Though, outside of that I need because here's
Speaker 1: the thing, I really think it's unrealistic of me to
Speaker 1: want a rich, powerful man who is emotionally intelligent and
Speaker 1: can be there for me within my within my busy schedule.
Speaker 1: So ideally I would like someone who can make their
Speaker 1: own schedule and join me on trips and be with
Speaker 1: me emotionally. And then I want another one who when
Speaker 1: we go out, money ain't a thing. We have fun,
Speaker 1: we rock stars, and he gets my wild side and
Speaker 1: we can do whatever we want because money doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: If he gets your wild shie with the other one
Speaker 2: gets the other.
Speaker 1: One gets to cuddle with me and be emotional and
Speaker 1: the walls don't get to know. But no, because the
Speaker 1: wild one is able to be wild because he works
Speaker 1: so hard. He has a lot of money, but he
Speaker 1: doesn't have the time.
Speaker 2: To give me.
Speaker 1: I need someone to be able to give me the time.
Speaker 2: If you're asking me for my part, Oh no, no,
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 3: I love it, and I want to hear what y'all
Speaker 3: tell me downblow in the comments of what you what
Speaker 3: your two boyfriends and girlfriends are them like?
Speaker 1: If you like if I can have two people, I
Speaker 1: was just I want one to be really powerful and
Speaker 1: rich and huh yes, But I also know what.
Speaker 2: Does he give you?
Speaker 1: But that means they don't have time?
Speaker 2: What does he give you? He gives me the nigga
Speaker 2: were going out to enjoy caviat together. He just gives
Speaker 2: you luxuries.
Speaker 1: He no, he gives me the lifestyle that he I
Speaker 1: can afford myself hold on and now we have this.
Speaker 1: We just enjoyed the same ship for someone and I
Speaker 1: dealt with this with my ex. I felt like I
Speaker 1: wasn't able to do everything I wanted to do with
Speaker 1: my partner without me having to take the burden on
Speaker 1: financially because because I he didn't have it. And if
Speaker 1: I still was fun, he was great. He was so fun.
Speaker 2: He was fun.
Speaker 1: But but also as he was also retired, so he
Speaker 1: was able to be on my on my I would
Speaker 1: love that. I would love a retired nigga and then
Speaker 1: a rich, lick, current, fancy nigga.
Speaker 2: I don't think two straight men are going to do that.
Speaker 1: First off, don't ship on my fucking fantasy.
Speaker 3: I'm not, I'm not. I'm just saying, first of all,
Speaker 3: first of all, are they straight in this scenario too?
Speaker 3: Y'all know I like my man? Yeah, And that's all
Speaker 3: I was gonna say. That's exactly what I'm based it
Speaker 3: off to straight dud.
Speaker 1: Y'all know that they just maybe they maybe they depeat
Speaker 1: me from time to time and they don't mind that
Speaker 1: they dick, so at that point they have to be.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe one, maybe one really enjoys me watching it go.
Speaker 1: One of those in your perfect world, one of those
Speaker 1: by perfect world. Okay, will this ever happen?
Speaker 2: Maybe not? Which one you think is gonna be the
Speaker 2: vo Probably the fun one.
Speaker 1: He gotta be because the other one got the money.
Speaker 1: You better just just be our sub Oh yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: enough you'll be fantasizing. Good Luck to all of you
Speaker 1: and your ethically non monogamous journeys, and hopefully you enjoy
Speaker 1: more of these style of conversations here on Decisions Decisions.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys for tuning into another hump Day home
Speaker 1: mail session. Weezy will be back next week because uh
Speaker 1: we ain't gonna keep her away for too long. It again.
Speaker 1: You want to watch this full episode, you can go
Speaker 1: on over to Patreon. That's patreon dot com backslash Global
Speaker 1: Decisions where all of our wholemail Wednesday recordings the video
Speaker 1: will be placed. And then if you want to send
Speaker 1: in your own question, make sure you email us Decisions
Speaker 1: Decisions at gmail dot com and have some humping on Humpday.
Speaker 1: All right, we are out and we'll see you Monday