1 00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:04,439 Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions. 2 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,280 Speaker 1: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, friend, 3 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:13,760 Speaker 1: or a terrible throatfle guess what you've got? Decisions doudah 4 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,960 Speaker 1: hump see hump a douda hanp siehmp. It's another hunt 5 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:21,799 Speaker 1: day of home mail and I am here sitting with 6 00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:26,160 Speaker 1: Eden in play the Wheezy to give our advice. And 7 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 1: this week again, if you look at the title, we 8 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:34,680 Speaker 1: are talking ethical non monogamy. Now before we get started, 9 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:39,880 Speaker 1: please please please send your questions in to Decisions Decisions 10 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. You can find that email in 11 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:47,640 Speaker 1: the description of this episode. And if you don't really 12 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:51,319 Speaker 1: like listening, but you like watching and listening, you can 13 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: catch this full video over on our patreon Patreon dot 14 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: com backslash Horrible Decisions. 15 00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,680 Speaker 2: Now, let's get into. 16 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,279 Speaker 1: The ethical non monogamy of it all, because that's kind 17 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,600 Speaker 1: of where we're leaning a bit more too. With decisions. 18 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 1: Decisions are the decisions around what styles of relationships work 19 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:14,120 Speaker 1: for you what doesn't, leaning into things that may be 20 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 1: non traditional or customizable. Y'all know my favorite words customizable. Okay, 21 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:25,520 Speaker 1: so this one is a brief question, like a brief 22 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,480 Speaker 1: email that we got, but there's a lot to dig into. Okay, 23 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 1: So here we go, Hey, Mandy and Weezy. I'm a 24 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:35,280 Speaker 1: new listener to the podcast and loving it. By the way, 25 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 1: a little background on me. I am a twenty three 26 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,319 Speaker 1: year old female and have been single for two and 27 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:45,959 Speaker 1: a half months. I decided to start back dating and 28 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 1: just want to explore the dating scene. I'm currently dating 29 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 1: someone who is thirty one years old. He's a man 30 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 1: who's ethically non monogamous. I tell myself I am okay 31 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: with that, due to the fact we both agree that 32 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:03,160 Speaker 1: we were exploring the dating scene and we're not ready 33 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 1: for a relationship. However, this is my first experience in 34 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: a non monogamous relationship, and although I say I am 35 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:14,800 Speaker 1: okay with it, I tend to feel jealousy and feel 36 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:19,160 Speaker 1: the need to control. Question, what advice do you guys 37 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:24,800 Speaker 1: have to give? I am open to receiving. So let's 38 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,399 Speaker 1: first break this down just a little bit. She's twenty 39 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 1: three years old. She is dating someone about eight years 40 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:34,000 Speaker 1: her scene grides's like my age gap that I like 41 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 1: right now. I love that age gap. Even give me 42 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 1: a twenty six year old yes, oh oh you well 43 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,760 Speaker 1: you would I were younger. Now, you wouldn't got older 44 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 1: eight years older. I would go eight years older. What 45 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 1: is that forty two or so? 46 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,639 Speaker 2: I don't think I would date a twenty two year old. 47 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,919 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie I would. I would date forty two. 48 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:55,799 Speaker 1: I like eight years difference right now. But I prefer younger, honestly, 49 00:02:56,520 --> 00:03:00,519 Speaker 1: because they're more open to this non monogamous idea. They're 50 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,200 Speaker 1: a different generation and they're just a little bit more open. 51 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:07,079 Speaker 1: I think the thirty one year olds my age demo 52 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 1: not even strict into it. They just throwing the word 53 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,480 Speaker 1: out without really knowing what the fucking means, and they 54 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 1: don't have the accountability of how to fully navigate it yet. 55 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:20,000 Speaker 1: But also, I feel like my generation is full of 56 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,600 Speaker 1: a whole bunch of undiagnosed niggas. 57 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:23,000 Speaker 2: Damn. 58 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,200 Speaker 1: They don't want to go to town and actually might 59 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:25,799 Speaker 1: be autistic. 60 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:26,919 Speaker 3: Damn. Damn. 61 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 1: Well, oh my god, this is why it ain't nobody 62 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 1: my hate put your headphones on, sorry, shots fire, pew all. 63 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 1: The men my age are just like, what is wrong 64 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 1: with you? 65 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:39,120 Speaker 2: That's what I'm thinking. 66 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,960 Speaker 1: You're in the mix of dealing with the patriarchy of 67 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: still needing to be leaders while not knowing how to 68 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: be leaders, while bringing their trauma, while also still being 69 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,240 Speaker 1: a bit homophobic, but leaning into not knowing what they 70 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 1: want sexually, and then also still want to be the 71 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 1: man of the house without knowing how to lead. It's 72 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 1: just a whole bunch of men that raised unfortunately in 73 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 1: singing a single pair of households. They don't know what 74 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:06,640 Speaker 1: the fuck they're God, I am sorry raise the question. 75 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 2: Sorry, Oh my god. 76 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,600 Speaker 1: I want no age. I mean like you're a millennial. 77 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaker 1: Oh sorry, sorry, this is me projecting. Sorry for all 78 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:20,800 Speaker 1: of the millennial medal listeners. Boyfriend, I go jes z 79 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:24,159 Speaker 1: or gin y you want to so bad? 80 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:29,920 Speaker 2: Don't do that? Any who? AnyWho. 81 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,520 Speaker 1: So she's twenty three with thirty one. Let's let's first 82 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 1: tap into the fact that one she has never dated 83 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:43,160 Speaker 1: anyone who is non monogamous, and she's only agreeing to 84 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 1: it currently because they're both exploring the dating scenes. So 85 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 1: I want to lean into if you there's two things. 86 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: Are you exploring the dating scenes to find a partner 87 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 1: or are you exploring the dating scenes to fuck? To me, 88 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 1: if you're exploring the dating scene to fuck, this cool 89 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 1: makes sense. Because you both have agreed to non monogamy 90 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 1: and maybe sharing with each other. 91 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:07,840 Speaker 2: That's the thing. 92 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:11,320 Speaker 1: Ethical non monogamy has all these different umbrellas, Right, Maybe 93 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,040 Speaker 1: you share with the person what you're doing. Maybe you don't, 94 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:18,200 Speaker 1: but you're just aware. Right if you're exploring the dating 95 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:22,280 Speaker 1: scene to find a partner and you're questioning if that's 96 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,800 Speaker 1: even the type of relationship you want to get in. 97 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,560 Speaker 1: I do feel like you need to dig into more 98 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 1: of what boundaries and what the dynamics of this ethical 99 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:36,760 Speaker 1: non monogamous guy looks like. Because if you're already leaning 100 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 1: into the fact that you're jealous or you might want 101 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 1: to just be a bit more controlling, I actually would 102 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:47,039 Speaker 1: lean into what is your relationship style, because jealousy is 103 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 1: a normal filing. Whether you're monogamous or non monogamous, you 104 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 1: are going to feel jealous in some instances. 105 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,600 Speaker 2: It is going to happen. How you manage it. 106 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:00,880 Speaker 1: How you manage your jealousy is before in here. That's 107 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 1: a different conversation, right. The second one. I don't think 108 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 1: it is healthy, whether you acknowledge or not, to say 109 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,920 Speaker 1: that you want to be a bit controlling within a 110 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,000 Speaker 1: romantic partnership. 111 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,479 Speaker 2: Controlling is controlling? Is is a strong word? 112 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: Is a strong word, as well as is this person 113 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:21,920 Speaker 1: now your property? Does this person now have to listen 114 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 1: to you? 115 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:23,040 Speaker 2: You could be stern. 116 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:28,600 Speaker 1: You can also set boundaries exactly and you believe if, 117 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,039 Speaker 1: but controlling is a bit worrisome. So I think that 118 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,160 Speaker 1: at twenty three years old, this is honestly my advice. 119 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,840 Speaker 1: Who are you? And I know you're not going to 120 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,920 Speaker 1: know that at twenty three, right, bitch, I didn't, don't. 121 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,320 Speaker 1: I just kind of got some point where I'm like, 122 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,279 Speaker 1: I'm still figuring it out, bitch, and I'm a decade 123 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 1: above you, right, So don't do that? 124 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 2: No, you know what it was. 125 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 3: Here's a conversation we had with Alex before, and it's 126 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,760 Speaker 3: like ten years is one thing. But you just said, 127 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,840 Speaker 3: I know the decade is so all right, I'm sorry, I. 128 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:07,880 Speaker 1: Got you about ten years. Sis said, Okay, I think that, 129 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,480 Speaker 1: and I think that I wish more people would do this. 130 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:17,120 Speaker 1: Those words are negative how you will show up in 131 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: a relationship, Those things will bring toxicity. Yeah, I think 132 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 1: it's a very mature response, but I do think it's 133 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 1: real that you do have to sit with how you 134 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: manage those two things. How do you manage jealousy and 135 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,320 Speaker 1: how do you bring it to your partner when something 136 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 1: they do brings about that emotion? And this could be 137 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:37,480 Speaker 1: for anyone, not even if you're twenty three, but thirty, 138 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 1: forty fifty. And then the other part is why do 139 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 1: you feel like you need to control a relationship? Why 140 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 1: is the idea not a partnership or working through or 141 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 1: why are you not looking for someone that can be 142 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 1: someone that you don't need to control. 143 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,480 Speaker 2: I mean, Surety's still young as hell. I do think 144 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 2: she's youngest like I. So okay, So. 145 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 3: That's funny because right before we recorded this, I did 146 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 3: to Mandy that I've never been in a scenario where 147 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,000 Speaker 3: there was like where it was kind of open like 148 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:08,120 Speaker 3: that I actually have. It was a situationship. And I 149 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 3: say situationship because like, yes, we were fucking whatever and 150 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,679 Speaker 3: we would go on oc casual dates, but we both 151 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 3: also knew we had the ability to see other people, right, 152 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 3: And I was fine with it. I was like, Okay, 153 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 3: I understand that. 154 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 2: Y'all weren't official, right, No, okay, no. 155 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 3: But I knew that there's a possibility. I knew there 156 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 3: was a possibility that she might fuck somebody if something 157 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,680 Speaker 3: were to happen, right, and me and her had the 158 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 3: same thing, which was, if such and such did happen, 159 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 3: it's either we get tested or both. It's we'd be 160 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:36,960 Speaker 3: safe and we get tested. 161 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,640 Speaker 2: Okay. That was the open boundary that we had that 162 00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 2: we knew, like, hey, keep that respect for each other. 163 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 2: That on top of let's say I'm judging y'all if 164 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,680 Speaker 2: y'all date it, because when you date and. 165 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:50,560 Speaker 1: Y'all know, I'm the condom police. Yeah, if you're dating 166 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,240 Speaker 1: multiple people, I don't think you should be out here 167 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,760 Speaker 1: fucking multiple motherfuckers unprotected. 168 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:55,800 Speaker 2: No, you shouldn't. 169 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I do agree you should still get tested. Yeah, 170 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,320 Speaker 3: get tested, but also be safe. That's also I use 171 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,319 Speaker 3: a condom. Like, that's why I use a condom, right, 172 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 3: I think. 173 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 1: We're gonna agree to seeing other people while we're dating. Yeah, 174 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 1: bruh condoms. 175 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 2: Yeah. 176 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,840 Speaker 3: Also, like I guess another boundary that was I don't 177 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 3: think we really spoke about it that much, but we 178 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,680 Speaker 3: were in like similar mutual circles, right, so then like, 179 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 3: you know, don't be raggedy, like, don't be with me 180 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 3: and then be with like one of my close friends 181 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 3: or something like that. 182 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:21,960 Speaker 2: That was another boundary that. 183 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,240 Speaker 1: Okay, I'm not mad at that. 184 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:27,040 Speaker 3: So getting in to the whole jealousy thing, right, there 185 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 3: were times I'm not gonna lie. I think like, dang, 186 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,560 Speaker 3: what if she's with another guy right now? I kind 187 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 3: of felt a little type of way, even though there 188 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 3: was no that's my girl or I don't have I 189 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 3: don't want to say ownership. 190 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 2: I think ownership is great and I hate that. Damn 191 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:39,600 Speaker 2: what's the proper word? 192 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:41,719 Speaker 1: Yeap? 193 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 2: I didn't even hate. 194 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,680 Speaker 1: That, would would be less. 195 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 3: I felt nesive. Sure, let's just say that I thought 196 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,079 Speaker 3: I was. I was feel pud. I never exhibited those 197 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 3: feelings into trying to be negative, No throw stuff in 198 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 3: her or her face orthing like that, because I was like, yo, 199 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 3: you do you as I do me. We just kind 200 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:58,760 Speaker 3: of respect each other. That's I think that's a hard 201 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,640 Speaker 3: thing to do though. That's really hard thing to do, 202 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 3: especially at that age. 203 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:05,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, and especially he's again that's what he's 204 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,520 Speaker 1: but he's older. And so that was my question too, 205 00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:11,240 Speaker 1: and I kind of wanted to lean into that. Can 206 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 1: age difference be a negative thing in non traditional dating? 207 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're in two different positions. 208 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 3: I do it could be for better or worse, doesn't 209 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,880 Speaker 3: it right, someone's better off than the other. It's likely 210 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:27,199 Speaker 3: that they might agree, But yeah, it's such a contrast. 211 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,760 Speaker 3: A twenty three year old is not going to understand 212 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 3: the mentality and lifestyle of a thirty one year. 213 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,600 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie when you. When you asked me 214 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,960 Speaker 1: if I would date someone eight years older, right, so 215 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 1: eight years younger, I immediately said yes, especially in a 216 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:46,240 Speaker 1: non non monogamous dynamic. Yes, because it's for fun. Well 217 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 1: not only no, it's not even for fun. I would 218 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 1: do a real relationship that way. But with a twenty 219 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,320 Speaker 1: six year old yes, you know why, because I feel 220 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:56,560 Speaker 1: like they've been open to the pronouns, the open the 221 00:10:56,600 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 1: different sexualities. They've seen more of those dynas growing up 222 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 1: on television, And it's the conversations they're having at a 223 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:05,360 Speaker 1: younger age. 224 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:09,000 Speaker 2: The two girlfriends, we've seen it publicly, they've grown. 225 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:12,720 Speaker 1: Up with it publicly. So for me, a forty one 226 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:16,559 Speaker 1: year old or forty two year old, and I wait, 227 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: with all respects, it's kind of more difficult to teach 228 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:25,719 Speaker 1: an old dog new trouthe and so I know, and 229 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:30,319 Speaker 1: so trying to convince someone who's lived a longer life 230 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,840 Speaker 1: where monogamy, whether they were really monogamous or not, maybe 231 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,000 Speaker 1: they were cheaters. If it worked for them, it would 232 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 1: be harder to convince them to try this new style 233 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:42,000 Speaker 1: of dating. Right, So that's the other thing. So storytime 234 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 1: for me, well not really storytime, but I got into 235 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,199 Speaker 1: a really good conversation last night with my friend Troy. 236 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:49,320 Speaker 1: So we went out to dinner. And she's a bit 237 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:52,439 Speaker 1: older than me. She probably has me by I would 238 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: say maybe ten fifteen years, so she's a bit older 239 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:59,160 Speaker 1: than me. And it's so crazy how much we are 240 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:03,479 Speaker 1: so much alike because we are both looking for primary 241 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,720 Speaker 1: a relationship, primary partners, whatever you want to call them. 242 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:10,559 Speaker 1: But we both know we want an ethically non monogamous 243 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,240 Speaker 1: set up in our relationship. So we want a non traditional, ethical, 244 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 1: non monogamous relationship, yes, and in what we want. What 245 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 1: we're realizing is we went through realizing that we are 246 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: currently in a revolution. Right hear me out as women specifically, 247 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 1: if we go back to the early sixties up through 248 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:40,960 Speaker 1: the seventies, there was that American dream family dynamic. A 249 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,720 Speaker 1: husband or wife, the kids, the dog, the white picket fence, 250 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:47,440 Speaker 1: the American dream right. However, at that time, and you 251 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:50,120 Speaker 1: guys can look it up from the sixties, a woman 252 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 1: could not get a bike account without being married, she 253 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,560 Speaker 1: could not own a home. There were a lot of 254 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 1: jobs that were not open for her. So being a 255 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,839 Speaker 1: wife and a mom was the role of a woman. 256 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:08,280 Speaker 2: Then you go through the seventies where shit starts to change. 257 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,760 Speaker 1: Women get the right to vote, women are able to 258 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,840 Speaker 1: get bank accounts, women are able to hold different positions 259 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,720 Speaker 1: within you know, society. Right. 260 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 2: What was the birth control at that point too? 261 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:25,240 Speaker 1: Ooh, I'm not sure, but that's where like the flower power, 262 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 1: like where sexual liberation and even planned parenthood and all 263 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,199 Speaker 1: those things started becoming where a woman could make those 264 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:36,480 Speaker 1: choices they leaned into no longer like graphic. But you're 265 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:37,920 Speaker 1: not going down the stairs, You're not going to the 266 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:41,400 Speaker 1: person in the back alley. There's now options for family planning. Yes, 267 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:45,240 Speaker 1: so that takes place, right, So now you have women, okay, 268 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,839 Speaker 1: being able to have a little bit more rights. Then 269 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:51,600 Speaker 1: we get, unfortunately, to the role of I would say 270 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:55,320 Speaker 1: the eighties early nineties. I like to refer to this 271 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:59,640 Speaker 1: as the dismantling of the black family by the crack 272 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:06,880 Speaker 1: epide as well as government assistance. So during this era, 273 00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:10,280 Speaker 1: a woman actually was pushing a man out of the 274 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,959 Speaker 1: house so that they could get helped by the government, 275 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,319 Speaker 1: food stamps, section eight, all the things, and a man 276 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 1: could not be present in the home. Fast forward more so, 277 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 1: I would say early two thousands till now women are 278 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:29,360 Speaker 1: CEOs my era millennials. We were pushed into independence. We 279 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,240 Speaker 1: were pushed to go get a degree, we were pushed 280 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:34,320 Speaker 1: to school, we were pushed to worry about marriage and 281 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,240 Speaker 1: children later. That can all come later, but focus on 282 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,320 Speaker 1: you first. And so where we're at now is the 283 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:44,720 Speaker 1: quote unquote modern woman, where Okay, I could be the 284 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 1: head of household. I don't need kids. I don't want kids, 285 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,080 Speaker 1: or y'all have been hearing what I've been going through 286 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:55,880 Speaker 1: with all of my friends. I waited so long, I'm 287 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,640 Speaker 1: dealing with infertility. 288 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,320 Speaker 2: Shit. I want a successful man. 289 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:05,120 Speaker 1: He don't cheat. I don't stay with cheaters before. That's 290 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 1: not a deal breaker for me. 291 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:11,200 Speaker 2: So what does that look like? I'm only smiling because 292 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:15,400 Speaker 2: I'm just like it makes it, And so now I 293 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 2: just wish. 294 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,960 Speaker 1: Me neither. But now I could be the head of household. 295 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,360 Speaker 1: So nigga, I don't need you to pay it. I 296 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:29,960 Speaker 1: get paid from anything. And you know, we're in this 297 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,880 Speaker 1: era where, Wow, the idea of polyamory is introduced to me, 298 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:36,840 Speaker 1: the idea of swinging is introduced. Whoa black people go 299 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:37,720 Speaker 1: to sex clubs? 300 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:39,360 Speaker 2: Wait? 301 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:42,720 Speaker 1: I can share my kinks and not be judged, you 302 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,240 Speaker 1: know what I mean? And so we're in this revolution 303 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 1: currently as women, we're damn the traditional setup of a 304 00:15:52,920 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 1: traditional family, the patriarchal realm, and tradition of a standard heterosexual. 305 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:06,240 Speaker 1: It's also we're talking about heterosexual relationships because also, lets 306 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:09,160 Speaker 1: me very clear, the gays just got the right to 307 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,080 Speaker 1: be married, and now the ship may be taken away. 308 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: We don't know what the fuck is happening, but he 309 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,680 Speaker 1: let's be clear. The rights of women to choose what 310 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,640 Speaker 1: happens with their body, it could be taken away. So 311 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:23,520 Speaker 1: we're dealing with all of these things right, and we're like, damn, 312 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:28,000 Speaker 1: what do we want? Because the truth of the matter 313 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:31,080 Speaker 1: is my worth and my value is not depending on 314 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,480 Speaker 1: me being a mom or a wife. Yeah, I now 315 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 1: have the wherewithal to actually live the life that I want, 316 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,840 Speaker 1: my own hobbies. I can live for myself and not 317 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,880 Speaker 1: live for my kids. Legacy could not look like my kids. 318 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,240 Speaker 1: It can look like what I do with my nonprofit. 319 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,200 Speaker 1: It can look like what I do for my community. 320 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,560 Speaker 1: It doesn't have to just be what I leave through children. 321 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:58,080 Speaker 1: It can be what I leave through entrepreneurship or my 322 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,000 Speaker 1: art or all of these other options. Which is, you 323 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:06,040 Speaker 1: know where I stand and so, but romantically, I would 324 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:11,120 Speaker 1: love a partner to share this with. Romantically, my trajectory 325 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:13,480 Speaker 1: of a relationship might not be kids or marriage at all. 326 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,679 Speaker 1: So how do I communicate that with a man that 327 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:20,800 Speaker 1: I want you, I don't need you, but also I 328 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,800 Speaker 1: want to share my life with you because that's what 329 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:27,240 Speaker 1: I want and I want you to know that our 330 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,280 Speaker 1: trajectory could look like every which way and it doesn't 331 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:35,199 Speaker 1: have to look like move in, have get married, have kids, 332 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:39,080 Speaker 1: combine families like it doesn't have to look like that. 333 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 1: And unfortunately, as women trying to dismantle the word whorror 334 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,919 Speaker 1: through all of the things, because now we can be 335 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:48,800 Speaker 1: sexually we can tell you what we want and sexually 336 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,280 Speaker 1: we can live through these things. How do we keep 337 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:55,680 Speaker 1: our dignity, keep our jobs, be proud without literally affecting 338 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:59,640 Speaker 1: the goddamn ego of a man? Because now we don't 339 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 1: need you to protect and provide. We need you to 340 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:04,320 Speaker 1: show up emotionally. We need you to have the emotional 341 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 1: intelligence to help. 342 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:08,800 Speaker 2: To talk to me. We want to hold you accountable. 343 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,800 Speaker 2: We should be allowed to do that. Now, you know. 344 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,760 Speaker 3: It's funny because then going back to the scenario of 345 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,960 Speaker 3: the home mail, just like you mentioned, you feel like 346 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:18,639 Speaker 3: a lot of people from gen Z and stuff are 347 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 3: a lot more exposed through the polyamorous side of things. 348 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:27,120 Speaker 1: She's not, though she's aware of it. Wait, but she's 349 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,359 Speaker 1: also so open to it that she's willing to try 350 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:35,359 Speaker 1: it because and I think that's so to me even 351 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:39,360 Speaker 1: and she may but she may also be open to it. 352 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:43,720 Speaker 1: Weasy shares how she gets jealous and feels sometimes she 353 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:47,280 Speaker 1: struggles with it. She listens to this pod. There's times 354 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,040 Speaker 1: where I don't think I really felt I was mad 355 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,160 Speaker 1: as fuck that this nigga cheated, but I didn't really 356 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:56,280 Speaker 1: experience jealousy like that. Would you tell her to try 357 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:59,080 Speaker 1: it then, regardless of the age difference. 358 00:18:59,119 --> 00:18:59,560 Speaker 2: I would. 359 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:04,800 Speaker 1: So I'm fine with you trying ethical non monogamy, yes, 360 00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 1: but I want everyone considering getting into any sort of relationship, 361 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:17,159 Speaker 1: especially to try ethical nominogamy. Because you want to, not 362 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:20,240 Speaker 1: because you found a guy you like that's happened to 363 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:23,920 Speaker 1: be ethical nomenogamists and now you're agreeing to it because 364 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,919 Speaker 1: you like it. That's the other problem. A lot of 365 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:31,120 Speaker 1: times we go into continue to date guys that really 366 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,359 Speaker 1: don't align with us, or like, we'll give it a try, 367 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,840 Speaker 1: and then we'd be mad when it don't work. 368 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,639 Speaker 3: Well, if you were really down with the the. 369 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:41,239 Speaker 2: You know what I mean. 370 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,200 Speaker 1: But that's what I'm saying. Okay, you're jealous and you're controlling. 371 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,240 Speaker 1: Are y'all dating outside of each other? Do you want 372 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,360 Speaker 1: thre do you want to go to sex clubs? What 373 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:53,679 Speaker 1: does ethical, non monogamous and the boundaries look like with 374 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,160 Speaker 1: this partner? Because bitch, if you don't want three sims 375 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,159 Speaker 1: because you don't want to taste a little kucci, this 376 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,480 Speaker 1: nigga not gonna work for you. Because maybe he wants 377 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:04,520 Speaker 1: a partner to bring into threesomes? Are you fine with 378 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 1: going to watch sex and be watched because ethnically not 379 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:13,840 Speaker 1: not ethically non monogamously he wants to go and venture 380 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:18,000 Speaker 1: into the sex club route, or he wants to emotionally 381 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 1: be invested in you and have another girlfriend are you 382 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,119 Speaker 1: fine with that? Because for me, who's someone who is 383 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:28,919 Speaker 1: ethically nominogamous, I don't know how much I want that 384 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,800 Speaker 1: with a new partner. I'll be honest, all date a 385 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,120 Speaker 1: guy who has a girlfriend and I'm a second girlfriend. 386 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:37,840 Speaker 1: Oh a bitch, I'm asking you for everything public both 387 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:43,600 Speaker 1: I don't know it like both like I don't mind dating. 388 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,159 Speaker 1: I mean the only nig I would allow that for 389 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 1: has a lot of coinst have a lot of a 390 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:52,600 Speaker 1: lot of co. 391 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:54,480 Speaker 2: Huh. 392 00:20:54,880 --> 00:21:00,080 Speaker 3: Otherwise no, but yeah, again, let's just go with she 393 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,480 Speaker 3: should or she shouldn't. 394 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:06,800 Speaker 1: I think she should if she's curious about that lifestyle. 395 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,119 Speaker 1: That lifestyle, I don't think she should. If she doesn't 396 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,919 Speaker 1: really think it's actually I think that makes sense. Let 397 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,680 Speaker 1: me see if I have because I do feel like, 398 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,760 Speaker 1: try todjus for just our partner. And then next thing, 399 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:22,880 Speaker 1: you know, we realize we really don't like you don't 400 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,760 Speaker 1: even want it. You don't even have to be about polyamorous. 401 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:33,720 Speaker 1: It could be anything anything. Well, I wanted to leave 402 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:39,040 Speaker 1: off with this and for you, someone who is not 403 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:39,879 Speaker 1: really interested in it. 404 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:43,320 Speaker 2: But when it comes to relationships super monogamous. 405 00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:47,960 Speaker 1: What are three things that should what are three things 406 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:52,040 Speaker 1: someone should consider before getting into an E and M relationship? 407 00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:53,719 Speaker 1: Three things? What would be your three things? 408 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:54,640 Speaker 2: Ooh? 409 00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:03,280 Speaker 1: Like for me, the first one is what under the 410 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,439 Speaker 1: umbrella of ethical non monogamy is allowed and not allowed? 411 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,000 Speaker 1: And when I say that is what I just said 412 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:11,639 Speaker 1: it would be Are you down for threesomes? Are you 413 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,600 Speaker 1: down for sex clubs? Are you down for swinging and 414 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:19,120 Speaker 1: wife and boyfriends swapping? Are you down for like what 415 00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:23,040 Speaker 1: what we're under the umbrella of ethical non monogamy? Are 416 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 1: you willing to try? And what are you not? 417 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,600 Speaker 3: I feel like that almost covers my all three yeah, 418 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:31,560 Speaker 3: because it's just a boundary. Are we both going to 419 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:35,160 Speaker 3: be dating this person is another thing too, right, because 420 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,800 Speaker 3: it's like a scenario of like I'm just dating them 421 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:39,440 Speaker 3: or we both did Yeah, those are. 422 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:42,879 Speaker 1: The but that's the umbrella of polyamory, Like, so are 423 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:44,840 Speaker 1: you going to be are you going to be polyamorous? 424 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:46,840 Speaker 1: Are you going to be a swinger? Are you going 425 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:51,080 Speaker 1: to be what else is there? And are you going 426 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 1: to be open? Are you looking to be a triad? 427 00:22:55,880 --> 00:23:00,680 Speaker 1: Are you looking to be a unicorn? Triad? Is like 428 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:01,960 Speaker 1: you're all dating each other? 429 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:03,120 Speaker 2: Yeah? 430 00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:09,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, I honestly the idea of two girlfriends sounds crazy to. 431 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:15,119 Speaker 1: Me, miserable. I'm sure y'all already know this one. I 432 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,280 Speaker 1: ain't really really gay, Like I'm a little gay because 433 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,240 Speaker 1: I eat koochie, but dealing with a woman fellas, I 434 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:20,800 Speaker 1: don't know. 435 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,920 Speaker 2: But also, on the other hand, I don't know how 436 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:24,560 Speaker 2: to fuck. 437 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:27,640 Speaker 1: I like men because I don't like your nig. 438 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:29,760 Speaker 2: I was gonna say, you, would you ever try dating 439 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 2: two men at the same time? 440 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:31,320 Speaker 1: I would love that? 441 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,880 Speaker 2: And you've never done that? No, that's so interesting. 442 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:37,080 Speaker 1: Actually, I mean, have you gott Have I been talking 443 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,560 Speaker 1: to two niggas at the same I'm. 444 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,920 Speaker 2: Talking about They both know that they your boyfriends? 445 00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:46,200 Speaker 1: No, except okay, kind of closed. 446 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,520 Speaker 2: But not really okay. 447 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,119 Speaker 1: So that dream so one of the one of the 448 00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 1: main guys that's still in my in the picture now 449 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,880 Speaker 1: that I've talked about on the pod briefly, I don't 450 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,359 Speaker 1: really I don't. I don't really share about it. I 451 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:03,080 Speaker 1: found out my clips be coming across his algorithm. I said, oh, no, 452 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:04,960 Speaker 1: that came across the algorithm. 453 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:07,400 Speaker 2: Yo, I'm new. 454 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:14,119 Speaker 1: So in my past relationship, y'all know, I broke up 455 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 1: with that nigga thirteen times. Every time he chose to 456 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 1: broke up with me cause Nigga, I didn't want to 457 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,040 Speaker 1: break up. You just was manipulating me because you were 458 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:24,880 Speaker 1: fucking nurcisses and you were putting me on ice. Every 459 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:29,480 Speaker 1: time we broke up. I went right back to this guy, damn. 460 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:31,280 Speaker 1: And I shared that. 461 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:32,080 Speaker 2: Damn. 462 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:40,199 Speaker 1: So when towards the latter end of the relationship he 463 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,840 Speaker 1: knew who it was, okay and would ask me, so, 464 00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:48,600 Speaker 1: did you go see such and such? Indeed, oh gosh, 465 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:50,600 Speaker 1: don't ask a question you don't want to know the 466 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:55,440 Speaker 1: answer to. And so that got thrown into my face 467 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,159 Speaker 1: quite a lot. Like hell, that team was not allowed 468 00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,200 Speaker 1: on our television screen. 469 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:04,400 Speaker 3: Oh my god, even what if I'm watching the highlights 470 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:05,080 Speaker 3: and such and such? 471 00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,200 Speaker 2: Bulls up, I'll be tight. 472 00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:11,159 Speaker 1: And haven't forbidden them, haven't forbidd them? Niggas made the 473 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:14,680 Speaker 1: playoffs or finals or they the ship kept going through 474 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:15,200 Speaker 1: the season. 475 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,879 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I was trusting. 476 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:19,440 Speaker 1: It got awkward. 477 00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:22,720 Speaker 2: Oh no, I'm not gonna hold you. 478 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,080 Speaker 1: We'd be at a bar in the West Village. Now 479 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:30,119 Speaker 1: now we got to leave the bar. Really, it's like 480 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,840 Speaker 1: it was like that, No, no, you know what, I 481 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,159 Speaker 1: get it. I get it, though, damn, because then it 482 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,080 Speaker 1: would ruin the mood. Now that nigga on the TV 483 00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:38,639 Speaker 1: ain't just. 484 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 2: Scored, I'll be tight. I'd like get me. 485 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:48,320 Speaker 1: So even And it probably doesn't help that he's clearly 486 00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:52,280 Speaker 1: followed the pod and has seen you know, me talking, 487 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,720 Speaker 1: knows I'm talking about. So that nigga still in the 488 00:25:54,720 --> 00:26:00,399 Speaker 1: picture after me and is goddamn still he sh and 489 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:02,920 Speaker 1: still in the picture and is So let me ask 490 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:03,400 Speaker 1: you a question. 491 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 3: So what does two boyfriends look like for Mandy Bee 492 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:08,480 Speaker 3: in a perfect world? 493 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:14,960 Speaker 1: In a perfect world, both tall ship, both riches both Yes, No, 494 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:17,080 Speaker 1: I can't be. 495 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:19,640 Speaker 2: Only one. 496 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,400 Speaker 1: Give me a nigga with dress or Jason Mamo wall 497 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:26,400 Speaker 1: got long curl d Yeah, I like me a little 498 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:32,119 Speaker 1: body outside of aesthetic. I'm fine with one having more 499 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,959 Speaker 1: money than the other in a perfect but that's what 500 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:40,000 Speaker 1: you're thinking about. Yeah, just money matters. Okay, wait outside 501 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:45,840 Speaker 1: of that. Though, outside of that I need because here's 502 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,320 Speaker 1: the thing, I really think it's unrealistic of me to 503 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:55,240 Speaker 1: want a rich, powerful man who is emotionally intelligent and 504 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,480 Speaker 1: can be there for me within my within my busy schedule. 505 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,560 Speaker 1: So ideally I would like someone who can make their 506 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:03,359 Speaker 1: own schedule and join me on trips and be with 507 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:07,480 Speaker 1: me emotionally. And then I want another one who when 508 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:10,240 Speaker 1: we go out, money ain't a thing. We have fun, 509 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,439 Speaker 1: we rock stars, and he gets my wild side and 510 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,680 Speaker 1: we can do whatever we want because money doesn't matter. 511 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:18,280 Speaker 2: If he gets your wild shie with the other one 512 00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:19,439 Speaker 2: gets the other. 513 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 1: One gets to cuddle with me and be emotional and 514 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:24,639 Speaker 1: the walls don't get to know. But no, because the 515 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,359 Speaker 1: wild one is able to be wild because he works 516 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,320 Speaker 1: so hard. He has a lot of money, but he 517 00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:30,200 Speaker 1: doesn't have the time. 518 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:30,399 Speaker 2: To give me. 519 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:35,840 Speaker 1: I need someone to be able to give me the time. 520 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,000 Speaker 2: If you're asking me for my part, Oh no, no, 521 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:38,479 Speaker 2: I love it. 522 00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,000 Speaker 3: I love it, and I want to hear what y'all 523 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,600 Speaker 3: tell me downblow in the comments of what you what 524 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:44,919 Speaker 3: your two boyfriends and girlfriends are them like? 525 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:47,320 Speaker 1: If you like if I can have two people, I 526 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,080 Speaker 1: was just I want one to be really powerful and 527 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:52,560 Speaker 1: rich and huh yes, But I also know what. 528 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:53,159 Speaker 2: Does he give you? 529 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:54,359 Speaker 1: But that means they don't have time? 530 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,600 Speaker 2: What does he give you? He gives me the nigga 531 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,280 Speaker 2: were going out to enjoy caviat together. He just gives 532 00:27:59,280 --> 00:27:59,960 Speaker 2: you luxuries. 533 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,680 Speaker 1: He no, he gives me the lifestyle that he I 534 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:06,760 Speaker 1: can afford myself hold on and now we have this. 535 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,040 Speaker 1: We just enjoyed the same ship for someone and I 536 00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,600 Speaker 1: dealt with this with my ex. I felt like I 537 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,520 Speaker 1: wasn't able to do everything I wanted to do with 538 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,960 Speaker 1: my partner without me having to take the burden on 539 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:21,600 Speaker 1: financially because because I he didn't have it. And if 540 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,520 Speaker 1: I still was fun, he was great. He was so fun. 541 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:25,800 Speaker 2: He was fun. 542 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:29,719 Speaker 1: But but also as he was also retired, so he 543 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:34,640 Speaker 1: was able to be on my on my I would 544 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:38,280 Speaker 1: love that. I would love a retired nigga and then 545 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,480 Speaker 1: a rich, lick, current, fancy nigga. 546 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:43,520 Speaker 2: I don't think two straight men are going to do that. 547 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:48,680 Speaker 1: First off, don't ship on my fucking fantasy. 548 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,600 Speaker 3: I'm not, I'm not. I'm just saying, first of all, 549 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,240 Speaker 3: first of all, are they straight in this scenario too? 550 00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,479 Speaker 3: Y'all know I like my man? Yeah, And that's all 551 00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,640 Speaker 3: I was gonna say. That's exactly what I'm based it 552 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:00,520 Speaker 3: off to straight dud. 553 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,360 Speaker 1: Y'all know that they just maybe they maybe they depeat 554 00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:06,760 Speaker 1: me from time to time and they don't mind that 555 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:08,440 Speaker 1: they dick, so at that point they have to be. 556 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:20,040 Speaker 1: Maybe maybe one, maybe one really enjoys me watching it go. 557 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,720 Speaker 1: One of those in your perfect world, one of those 558 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,520 Speaker 1: by perfect world. Okay, will this ever happen? 559 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,080 Speaker 2: Maybe not? Which one you think is gonna be the 560 00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:28,840 Speaker 2: vo Probably the fun one. 561 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:31,880 Speaker 1: He gotta be because the other one got the money. 562 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:37,959 Speaker 1: You better just just be our sub Oh yeah, okay, 563 00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,320 Speaker 1: enough you'll be fantasizing. Good Luck to all of you 564 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:45,520 Speaker 1: and your ethically non monogamous journeys, and hopefully you enjoy 565 00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:50,640 Speaker 1: more of these style of conversations here on Decisions Decisions. 566 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,560 Speaker 1: Thank you guys for tuning into another hump Day home 567 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:57,640 Speaker 1: mail session. Weezy will be back next week because uh 568 00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:00,440 Speaker 1: we ain't gonna keep her away for too long. It again. 569 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,920 Speaker 1: You want to watch this full episode, you can go 570 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:07,560 Speaker 1: on over to Patreon. That's patreon dot com backslash Global 571 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 1: Decisions where all of our wholemail Wednesday recordings the video 572 00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:14,920 Speaker 1: will be placed. And then if you want to send 573 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:18,880 Speaker 1: in your own question, make sure you email us Decisions 574 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:24,400 Speaker 1: Decisions at gmail dot com and have some humping on Humpday. 575 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:36,640 Speaker 1: All right, we are out and we'll see you Monday