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Speaker 1: Hey, Alyssa, Sayale, and this is John. Welcome to the

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast game show.

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Speaker 2: The show where you can hear the greatest stories on ours.

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Speaker 1: And luckily you've won the jackpot for listening to the

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Speaker 1: best stories your ears could listen to. All you have

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Speaker 1: to do is wait for two minutes through these messages

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Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

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Speaker 3: I went to my birth mother's funeral and now I'm

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Speaker 3: reunited with my real family.

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Speaker 4: Congratulations.

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Speaker 3: I twenty four female, was given up by my parents

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Speaker 3: as a baby because they were both eighteen and had

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Speaker 3: no way to properly care for me. I didn't have

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Speaker 3: a very good life until I got into college off

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Speaker 3: of a sports scholarship, and it was then that I

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Speaker 3: decided to investigate my past. I found out that my

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Speaker 3: parents were still together, that they had two other kids

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Speaker 3: a lot younger than me, and had overall, I become

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Speaker 3: very successful in life. By the way, it comes from

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Speaker 3: Das Stroop and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 3: go to the ours slash Okay Storytime supread it. So

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Speaker 3: I started to feel very resentful, and although I almost

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Speaker 3: reached out, I decided that I couldn't. I still kept

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Speaker 3: tabs on them to see how they doing, how my

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Speaker 3: siblings are, how my siblings are, and stuff. When I

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Speaker 3: found out that my mother passed away, I did attend

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Speaker 3: the funeral a few weeks ago. It was a big funeral,

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Speaker 3: A lot of people attended, but it wasn't packed cause

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Speaker 3: uh wait, but it wasn't packed because the thing is

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Speaker 3: other than my hair being jet black, I looked just

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Speaker 3: like my mother did, so when people were leaving, I

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Speaker 3: got spotted by my mother's hysterical great aunt, who assumed

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Speaker 3: that I was my mother. I excused myself, but I'm

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Speaker 3: pretty sure I exposed who I was, because just a

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Speaker 3: few days ago, my father managed to find me and

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Speaker 3: reached out to me. When we met at a coffee

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Speaker 3: shop three days ago, he apologized for having given me

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Speaker 3: up not reaching out sooner, and ended up crying over

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Speaker 3: not getting to raise me. It's the first time I

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Speaker 3: saw a grown man cry. He asked if I needed

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Speaker 3: anything from a car to a place to from a

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Speaker 3: car to a place to stay. But I couldn't help

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Speaker 3: but feel like I was embarrassing him, so I said

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Speaker 3: goodbye and left. But I've received a lot of texts

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Speaker 3: and voicemails from him since then. Since then, asking why

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Speaker 3: I left early if I'll meet him again, but don't

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Speaker 3: I feel like I can talk to him. Then I

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Speaker 3: got a phone call from a woman saying that she

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Speaker 3: was his cousin and my aunt and I know and

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Speaker 3: my aunt that I should have stayed away because he's

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Speaker 3: inconsolable now and I'm an a hole for choosing a

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Speaker 3: funeral to reveal myself. Why not, I mean throw around

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Speaker 3: that word ale.

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Speaker 4: Like choose to really reveal yourself.

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Speaker 5: Was that it was just like, well, this is happening now,

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Speaker 5: like yeah, you know what I mean. It's like it

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Speaker 5: wasn't like it was like all right, I'm gonna like

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Speaker 5: it was like that was just the moment that that

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Speaker 5: was gonna happen.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, regardless, I wanted to go to your your mom's funeral,

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Speaker 3: like like, I feel like my aunt is right because

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Speaker 3: all I've done is brought him new grief after he

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Speaker 3: just lost his wife. And there are some relevant comments.

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Speaker 3: Motorcycle addict says, not the a hole. You didn't ask

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Speaker 3: your aunt to out you. She is the ale by

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Speaker 3: telling your father the cat is out of the bag now.

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Speaker 3: So I do think you need to communicate and not

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Speaker 3: shot him out you did kind of bring this on yourself.

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Speaker 3: It's an unintended consequence. By going to the funeral, which

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Speaker 3: was an honorable and right thing to do, you did

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Speaker 3: create a situation where this could occur. I do think

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Speaker 3: that you need to see this though, i'd suggest you to.

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Speaker 3: I'd suggest you try and ignore everyone else and just

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Speaker 3: talk to him and tell him that you didn't mean

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Speaker 3: to reveal yourself at the funeral. You just came to

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Speaker 3: quietly pay your respects. And now things have escalated and

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Speaker 3: there is an update. Yeah, I don't Yeah, I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 3: that kind of happened. I still wouldn't call her an

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Speaker 3: a hole for that, but yeah, it's unintended consequences. It's

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Speaker 3: not her fault that he's inconsolable. Sorry, I'm not the

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Speaker 3: one that gave me up, Like.

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Speaker 5: Right, it's like that's it's always like the weird logic

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Speaker 5: chain of like, well if he would just have never known,

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Speaker 5: it's like, but he did. He did that, Yeah, gave

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Speaker 5: it up, And now you want to be like it's

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Speaker 5: your fault that he's upset. Now, I'm pretty sure his

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Speaker 5: actions have led to this upset that he feels.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, there is an update. So thirty two days later.

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Speaker 3: Very specific. So I'm posting this because I said that

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Speaker 3: I would In a month. Things happen and it's gotten better.

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Speaker 3: The first thing was my aunt Dad's cousin phoned me

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Speaker 3: like the day after and apologized to me. She told

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Speaker 3: me that she practically raised my dad and seeing him

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Speaker 3: like he was made her act without thinking. She told

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Speaker 3: me my dad wanted to see me again and would

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Speaker 3: appreciate it if I would meet her too. I told

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Speaker 3: her how hurtful what she said was, and I needed

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Speaker 3: time before seeing her, but did agree to meet him.

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Speaker 3: Fast forward a week. I go to meet my dad.

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Speaker 3: I kept rereading everyone's advice and using it to prepare

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Speaker 3: what to say. He was more composed. I told him

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Speaker 3: it hurt me so much to be abandoned, and it

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Speaker 3: hurt seeing how successful he was, and it made me

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Speaker 3: feel not wanted, and meeting him made me want to

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Speaker 3: be forgotten. Wow. He told me he never forgot about me,

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Speaker 3: and showed me a small baby photo of me that

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Speaker 3: he keeps in his wallet and told me that he

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Speaker 3: still sees me as his baby even though I'm grown.

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Speaker 3: He told me he and my mom used to cry

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Speaker 3: for me every day. After giving me up, but they

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Speaker 3: still prayed for me every day, even until the end.

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Speaker 3: He once again told me whatever I wanted he could

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Speaker 3: give me if i'd let him. I told him I

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Speaker 3: wanted no money or anything from him, and I didn't

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Speaker 3: intend to reveal myself. He told me it was okay

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Speaker 3: if I wanted nothing to do with him, but asked

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Speaker 3: that I be a part of my mom's great aunt's life,

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Speaker 3: as she hadn't stopped asking about me since exposing me

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Speaker 3: and gave me her address. He insisted that I was

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Speaker 3: always wanted, but he always thought that I had been

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Speaker 3: adopted and didn't want to ruin my life, and that's

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Speaker 3: something a lot of you said, so I was prepared

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Speaker 3: for it. He asked me to forgive him for not

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Speaker 3: being there for me, and said that he'd do whatever

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Speaker 3: to be my dad. I guess I realized that I

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Speaker 3: could push him away or finally have what I wanted.

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Speaker 3: I told him my teenage fantasy that he'd come save

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Speaker 3: me from the orphanage, and we both started crying. He

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Speaker 3: told me that we can save each other, and I

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Speaker 3: hugged him and forgave him. Since then, I started seeing

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Speaker 3: him more, visiting my great aunt every other day. She

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Speaker 3: started calling me by baby nicknames as she had for

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Speaker 3: my mom. My dad also started coming to the gym

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Speaker 3: that me and my fiance and my best friend started

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Speaker 3: after grad school. He had been He has been trying

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Speaker 3: to do all the dad stuff that I missed out

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Speaker 3: on that we can still do, like teaching me how

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Speaker 3: to drive, business advice and stuff. I also finally don't

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Speaker 3: feel so upset over my siblings getting a better life

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Speaker 3: than me. He also got us both into counseling, and

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Speaker 3: I've finally been able to talk about all my years

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Speaker 3: in the system before I aged out. He is hosting

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Speaker 3: a New Year's party and asked me to come so

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Speaker 3: I can meet all my relatives, cousins and siblings, and yes,

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Speaker 3: I am going. So I want to thank everybody that

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Speaker 3: prepared me for how he felt and giving me up

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Speaker 3: and how he felt and getting to see me again.

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Speaker 3: I think that if you all hadn't pointed that out

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Speaker 3: to me, I probably would have just tried to stay

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Speaker 3: hidden and wouldn't have finally gotten a dad. And we

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Speaker 3: do have an updates. But this is becoming so lovely.

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Speaker 4: Its good. It's going good.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, better than I anticipated. Yeah, I think that our

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Speaker 5: previous stories. I expect that's fair.

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Speaker 3: It's okay. You're just voicing the struggles that she had

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Speaker 3: growing up in the system, because again, she's probably felt

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Speaker 3: like that towards him. I'm sure there's anger in there

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Speaker 3: even though she wanted him to come back. Sure, you

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Speaker 3: know what I mean.

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Speaker 5: That's why it's just so complicated, a very complex situation.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Sure, but I'm really love to say it's not.

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Speaker 3: This is all happening. I mean, I like asking I

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Speaker 3: don't know him, asking to forgive or to be forgiven

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Speaker 3: is like I never like that. I never like, oh,

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Speaker 3: please forgive me. It's like, no, they need time, do

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Speaker 3: it on their own time. You don't have to forget

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Speaker 3: right away. But you can like be on that journey

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Speaker 3: or like start working towards that by hanging out with

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Speaker 3: each other and he can make it up to her

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Speaker 3: and stuff. But we got there, and it seems like

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Speaker 3: things are going well so far. And there is a

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Speaker 3: second update. I finally got to meet my entire family.

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Speaker 3: This is sixty days later, so I guess this is

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Speaker 3: kind of an update to my amily. The eight whole post.

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Speaker 3: I'm not sure if I can mention that sub here,

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Speaker 3: you don't worry about it. You totally can. But a

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Speaker 3: bit over two weeks ago, at the end of the year,

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Speaker 3: I finally got to meet all of my family and

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Speaker 3: it was the best time ever. On the thirty first,

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Speaker 3: my dad went into my apartment, chatted in Spanish for

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Speaker 3: like half an hour with my fiance nobody speaks it

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Speaker 3: in our country, and then I left with him for

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Speaker 3: his house. My fiance said that he would come later.

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Speaker 3: When we got to my dad's house, I was like,

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Speaker 3: oh my god, I'd seen photos before, but dang, it's

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Speaker 3: like a mini mansion, especially next to my apartment. It

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Speaker 3: made me smile so much when I told Dad that

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Speaker 3: you have a beautiful home, and he told me it's

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Speaker 3: your home too. When we got in and my dad

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Speaker 3: led me to the living room where my siblings were

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Speaker 3: waiting with my dad's uncle and one of my cousins, honestly,

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Speaker 3: I was really really scared. But then my cousin and

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Speaker 3: uncle came and gave me a huge hug and so

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Speaker 3: that they've waited for this for so long. It was

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Speaker 3: a bit more awkward with my siblings because they're both like, uh,

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Speaker 3: because they're both little, like not even ten yet, But

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Speaker 3: when they started asking questions it got a bit overwhelming,

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Speaker 3: so my dad made them stop. But I liked it

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Speaker 3: because it means that they want to get to know me.

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Speaker 3: It did make me a bit sad when my little

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Speaker 3: sister said that I look so much like mommy used

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Speaker 3: to Oh, oh my gosh. Yeah, because they're so young

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Speaker 3: with their mom passing away. Wow, I can't believe I

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Speaker 3: didn't notice it until then. But there was this giant

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Speaker 3: photo of my parents and a baby over the fireplace.

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Speaker 3: Like my dad looks super young in that photo, younger

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Speaker 3: than me even, so I had to ask is that me?

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Speaker 3: When my dad said yes, I started crying. My great uncle, uh,

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Speaker 3: my great uncle took my siblings away, and my dad

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Speaker 3: and my cousin consoled me. Honestly, it may seem selfish,

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Speaker 3: but that felt really good. That doesn't seem selfish.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, so.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, how do you think you are? Yeah? You

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Speaker 4: get him? Yeah, get him.

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Speaker 3: That guy's being selfish over there, Oh my gosh. But yes,

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Speaker 3: my goodness, yes, this is such a nice turnaround from

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Speaker 3: all the other stories.

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Speaker 5: We've been painting over the fireplaces. I mean, like, I guess,

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Speaker 5: I don't know. It might sound bad, but it's like, uh,

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Speaker 5: I guess it was worth it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I do wonder like that probably did motivate I mean,

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Speaker 3: if they were eighteen and couldn't take care of a

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Speaker 3: kid and now they have like a mini mansion like

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Speaker 3: they they worked hard to give them their current kids

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Speaker 3: or their newer kids like a life like this. So

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Speaker 3: props to them. Man, there's a little bit more into

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Speaker 3: the story. Let's get on into it. Rest of the

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Speaker 3: day went great too, especially when my fiance came as well.

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Speaker 3: Right at dinner time, my dad did a large toast

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Speaker 3: to all the relatives and introduced me and my fiance. Honestly,

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Speaker 3: I don't know if I can write most of what

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Speaker 3: he said, but it just made me feel so loved

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Speaker 3: and so happy that I led him into my life.

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Speaker 3: I went back to my apartment with my fiance really

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Speaker 3: early in the morning, but since then I've never felt better. Honestly,

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Speaker 3: the only reason I remembered to post this is because

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Speaker 3: today my dad sent me a text asking if my

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Speaker 3: fiance and I want to go on a trip with

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Speaker 3: him to Spain in February.

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Speaker 4: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: If we will be able to yet, but we'll see.

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Speaker 5: My mother treated us like strangers. So we're moving without notice.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, get on out of it.

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Speaker 5: There's a trigger warning for financial Last year, my grandfather,

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Speaker 5: whose health has been deteriorating for a couple of years now,

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Speaker 5: got into a accident while driving uber. He told the

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Speaker 5: car and stopped working entirely, and my grandma was laid

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Speaker 5: off at her job, leaving my mom paying for the

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Speaker 5: entire households bills. At the time, my adopted sister and I,

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Speaker 5: both the twenty six female, were living in a high

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Speaker 5: cost of living city in another state, barely making hands

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Speaker 5: meat way over paying for rent, and hardly eating due to.

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Speaker 4: Our financial hardship.

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Speaker 2: That sucks.

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Speaker 5: My mom called us to tell us about grandpa's accident

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Speaker 5: and told us that she would likely have to tell

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Speaker 5: the house and move in with one of her sisters.

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Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from user automatic Cobbler twenty

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Speaker 5: six and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 5: go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So my

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Speaker 5: sister and I discussed it and told our mom that

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Speaker 5: we could move in with her to help her pay

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Speaker 5: the mortgage.

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Speaker 4: Which she was so excited about.

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Speaker 5: She told us this way she could help us fix

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Speaker 5: up the house in the next couple of years and

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Speaker 5: eventually leave it to us when she passes, so we've

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Speaker 5: been living with her for the last year now. Some

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Speaker 5: details about this living arrangement. My sister and I paid

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Speaker 5: two thirds of the mortgage and utilities, which was.

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Speaker 4: Dick by my mom.

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Speaker 5: We live in the unfinished basement. Sister's room doesn't have

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Speaker 5: a wall or door separating it from the shared laundry room.

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Speaker 5: We do not have access to the kitchen upstairs and

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Speaker 5: have been using only a hot plate that can't even

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Speaker 5: boil a pot of water, a microwave, and a toaster

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Speaker 5: of and to cook everything. Our shower is tiny and

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Speaker 5: hardly functional, and I have no windows or natural light

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Speaker 5: in my bedroom. Also, we have roaches because nobody upstairs

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Speaker 5: cleans their kitchen thoroughly. When we first moved in, my

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Speaker 5: sister and I very much wanted to rekindle a relationship

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Speaker 5: with our mom, which was heavily damaged by the abuse, neglect,

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Speaker 5: and general poor decision making she showed us during our childhood,

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Speaker 5: and things were looking promising for a while, but the

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Speaker 5: relationship has severely deteriorated in the last number of months.

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Speaker 5: Our mom has expressed jealousy of the two of us

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Speaker 5: that we are happy and have prospects in life, which

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Speaker 5: was very unsettling to hear. She has started treating us

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Speaker 5: quite poorly, being me and snippy, blaming it on her

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Speaker 5: frustration with dealing with her domineering parents but taking it

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Speaker 5: out on us. Additionally, when we moved in with her,

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Speaker 5: she told us that she realized we were fully grown

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Speaker 5: adults and we would be free to leave and live

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Speaker 5: here independently, coming and going as we please. But now

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Speaker 5: she's upset when we have people over. We're very quiet

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Speaker 5: and unobtrusive. We only ever have friends over for chill

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Speaker 5: movie nights. She was upset that we got a cat,

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Speaker 5: even though she'd previously okayed it, and in general, she

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Speaker 5: seems to be upset that we don't check in with

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Speaker 5: her more than we do, telling us that she constantly

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Speaker 5: feels like she is in shooting despite us never saying

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Speaker 5: anything to the ed effect, and she constantly tries to

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Speaker 5: guilt trip us, saying how sick she is of being

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Speaker 5: in this house and how she wants to sell it

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Speaker 5: but is only staying because of us. Another factor in

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Speaker 5: all of this is that we live relatively nearby about

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Speaker 5: an hour's drive from two of my mom's sisters. They're

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Speaker 5: both more financially well off than my mom, having multiple

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Speaker 5: properties blah blah blah. Both of them have offered to

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Speaker 5: take my grandparents in. My family are immigrants, coming from

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Speaker 5: a country where children are expected to care for parents

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Speaker 5: into old age, sacrificing their money and freedom to do so.

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Speaker 5: Be One of my aunts pulled out of this because

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Speaker 5: her husband and my grandfather don't get along, and the

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Speaker 5: other aunt is severely dragging her feet and getting one

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Speaker 5: of her properties ready for them to move in.

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Speaker 4: My mom is very resentful of the.

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Speaker 5: Fact that she has to take care of and deal

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Speaker 5: with her parents, but doesn't seem to push her sisters

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Speaker 5: or parents on this to change it. Recently, our mom

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Speaker 5: has increased my sister's and my rent, which she has

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Speaker 5: used as a way to increase her spending. In turn,

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Speaker 5: despite saying that she never has money, Mom goes on

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Speaker 5: multiple vacations a year, orders stuff on Amazon all the time,

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Speaker 5: undertakes needless expensive projects, and just generally lives beyond her means.

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Speaker 5: My sister and I are trying to make a better

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Speaker 5: life for ourselves and have been living very frugally. This

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Speaker 5: rent increase also feels insulting because we feel like we

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Speaker 5: are paying more than our fair share. Like I said before,

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Speaker 5: we have access to less than half the house and

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Speaker 5: the living conditions are quite poor, but we pay two

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Speaker 5: thirds of all of the costs. Our grandparents and mother

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00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:03,280
Speaker 5: alike may terrible financial decisions, and they raise our utilities needlessly,

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Speaker 5: keeping lights on all the time in every room, running

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Speaker 5: the heat and the ac in the summer, blocking vents

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Speaker 5: with furniture, et cetera.

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Speaker 4: Needless to say.

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Speaker 5: My sister and I have been wanting to move for months,

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Speaker 5: and this all came to a head this past week

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Speaker 5: when my mom tried to insist that we give up

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Speaker 5: our cat because he would irritate me when I try

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Speaker 5: to work downstairs. That was the straw that broke the

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Speaker 5: camel's back, so to speak, and my sister started looking

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Speaker 5: for another place for us to live. She connected with

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Speaker 5: the reputable private landlord in the area who has rented

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Speaker 5: to friends of ours before, and we've since toured the

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Speaker 5: new place and signed.

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Speaker 3: The least okay, so we were moving out. We're moving okay,

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Speaker 3: good because I would, I mean, you can't like what is?

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Speaker 3: What are they supposed to do to it, to take away.

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Speaker 3: The cats have not bother her while she's working or

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Speaker 3: something like it. It's a cat. Just let it roam around.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's uh, what do you can do about it?

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Speaker 4: A cat? What is the cat doing? Is it like

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Speaker 4: it's on a typewriter.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's being loud and it's it's a black cat

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Speaker 5: on a typewriter, smoking cigarettes, trying to write the next

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Speaker 5: big stage play.

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Speaker 3: There you go.

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Speaker 4: I can't have your cat.

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Speaker 5: I can't have your anthropomorphic playwright cat writing scripts in

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Speaker 5: the basement while it's just chain smoking Marlborough Reds although

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Speaker 5: in the laundry room. Really it's crazy. And then I

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Speaker 5: look at the scripts and they just say yah.

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Speaker 3: Yam yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yamyam yam yam. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: even in the play cats, they have real words.

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Speaker 4: Here is where my confusion lies.

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Speaker 5: We thought that the process of finding another place to

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Speaker 5: live would take longer than it did. We got a

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Speaker 5: great place at a great deal and jumped on the

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Speaker 5: chance to secure it. But my mom has no idea

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Speaker 5: that us moving out is even on the radar. She's

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Speaker 5: been away on another vacation the last few days, and

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Speaker 5: we plan on telling her that we will be moved

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Speaker 5: out by the start.

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Speaker 4: Of August tonight when she gets back.

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Speaker 5: Ideally we would have given her more notice, of course,

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Speaker 5: but this timeline is just how everything happened. We've been

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Speaker 5: paying the month in advance, so we are paid up

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Speaker 5: for July.

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Speaker 4: We have to start.

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Speaker 5: Paying for our new place at the beginning of August,

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Speaker 5: so we don't really have the money to pay her

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Speaker 5: for a month of us being here.

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Speaker 4: When we won't even be living here anymore.

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Speaker 5: I don't want to leave her in the lurch, but

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Speaker 5: at this point, with her irresponsible spending, lack of financial sense,

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Speaker 5: and the way she's been treating us, we can't help

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Speaker 5: but feel she has slightly done this to herself. I'm

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Speaker 5: sure either of her sisters could loan her money, or

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Speaker 5: she could start ubering on the side again to make

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Speaker 5: the balance we would have paid.

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Speaker 4: But I just feel very conflicted about it all.

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Speaker 5: So would I be the ale to tell her we

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Speaker 5: are leaving at the end of this month without paying

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Speaker 5: for a month?

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Speaker 4: We're not going to be here for no.

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Speaker 5: Imagine any other situation like this where it's just not

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Speaker 5: your mom and it's just a landlord.

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Speaker 4: Would you be thinking the same way.

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00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:56,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, imagine if you had a place and you paid

403
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Speaker 5: an even split of rent and they're like, by away,

404
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:01,880
Speaker 5: you can't use the kitchen, you can't comp me over,

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Speaker 5: and your cat can't chain smoking right plays in the basement.

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Speaker 2: That's not a deal you want to sign up for.

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Speaker 5: Come on, it's unacceptable. It's literally unacceptable. I am feeling

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Speaker 5: really torn about what to do and wanted to get

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Speaker 5: some outside perspectives and there is a lot of context

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Speaker 5: that colors how I feel about this all. Any advice

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00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:27,640
Speaker 5: is much appreciated, and we have some comments. Comment one

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Speaker 5: not the ahle yo Mama is taking advantage of you both.

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00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,359
Speaker 5: She's not using this as an opportunity to fix up

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Speaker 5: the house and get things straightened out. She's using you

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00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:41,080
Speaker 5: guys to fund her continued irresponsible lifestyle. Just pack your

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00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:44,480
Speaker 5: crap up and quietly leave. I would also mute notifications

417
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:48,080
Speaker 5: from her on your phone when you do comment to

418
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:52,320
Speaker 5: perhaps move your important stuff to your car. Today And

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Speaker 5: there's an update update. Thank you so much to everyone

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Speaker 5: who commented. I wrote the post yesterday morning and as

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Speaker 5: of this morning, we are safe out and fully moved

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Speaker 5: into our new place.

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Speaker 4: As I said in a reply below.

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Speaker 5: My sister and I have both lived in horribly abusive

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Speaker 5: home situations before, so it unfortunately takes a lot to

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00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:12,639
Speaker 5: push us to our breaking point. But reading all of

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00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,159
Speaker 5: the comments was a big reality check for us, and

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00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,800
Speaker 5: it opened our eyes to just how bad and unfair

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Speaker 5: we had been treated.

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Speaker 4: I still can't believe I'm out and better.

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00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:26,760
Speaker 5: Yet everything yesterday went smoother than I could have imagined. Surprise, surprise,

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00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,160
Speaker 5: my mom extended her vacation and will only be coming

433
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,960
Speaker 5: back early this week, so no confrontation happened at all.

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00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:38,080
Speaker 5: Our grandparents were clueless and only really cared that we

435
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,480
Speaker 5: were letting the ac out by having the back door open.

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00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,240
Speaker 5: We've blocked everyone in the family for now, as we

437
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,360
Speaker 5: are quite sure they will also try to reach out

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00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,399
Speaker 5: and guilt trip us. But all that is left to

439
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,520
Speaker 5: do is text our mom, tell her we aren't coming

440
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 5: back and block her too. All in all, we had

441
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:56,120
Speaker 5: some incredible friends come over and help empty out the basement,

442
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 5: even through the rain and the heat, and we're now happy,

443
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,560
Speaker 5: secure in our new place, and our kiddy gets a

444
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,560
Speaker 5: new place he can roam freely around in.

445
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:08,360
Speaker 3: My boyfriend stood up to my father. Now my parents

446
00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 3: are getting divorced. My father is the classic and misogynistic

447
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 3: golden child ahole. His parents pretty much worshiped him and

448
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,840
Speaker 3: ruined him to the point where my aunts and uncles

449
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,479
Speaker 3: have caught him and us out of their lives. At

450
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,640
Speaker 3: last I saw them was when my little sister was born.

451
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,920
Speaker 3: He runs his own company, so I think it's pretty

452
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,080
Speaker 3: safe to say that he has never heard the word

453
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,520
Speaker 3: no in his life. By the way, this comes from

454
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,720
Speaker 3: Kayla is here, and if you want to submit your

455
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,640
Speaker 3: own stories, go to the r slash Okay story time

456
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,240
Speaker 3: and separated it. So Mom, little sister who's seventeen, and

457
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:43,040
Speaker 3: myself female twenty eight are slash were essentially his servants.

458
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:46,239
Speaker 3: He would sit in his chair, drink adult soda and

459
00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:49,000
Speaker 3: order us around, scream and yell at us. Mom was

460
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,440
Speaker 3: afraid of him, Sis and myself too, Plus we grew

461
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,959
Speaker 3: up that way and all three of us hated it.

462
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,119
Speaker 3: I begged my mom to divorce him for years, but

463
00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,560
Speaker 3: she didn't want to because she didn't want to share

464
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,880
Speaker 3: custody with him and leave us, and later just says

465
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,399
Speaker 3: to be treated like crap when we would have to

466
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 3: go to him. I absolutely understand why she didn't, and

467
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,560
Speaker 3: I appreciate her wanting to protect us, even if I

468
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:14,640
Speaker 3: didn't agree with her method. That all changed December twenty fourth,

469
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 3: not right before Christmas. My boyfriend thirty two, and I

470
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,479
Speaker 3: have been together for one and a half years roughly,

471
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,119
Speaker 3: so this was our first Christmas where we celebrated together.

472
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 3: Small note on boyfriend. He is not afraid of anyone

473
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:30,360
Speaker 3: and hates disrespect with the passion. We walk into my parents'

474
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 3: house and Dad is in his chair while Mom is

475
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,280
Speaker 3: working on dinner in the kitchen. Boyfriend goes to Mom

476
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 3: to greet her and complimented her on the decorations. Massive

477
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,480
Speaker 3: smile from Mom, and he greeted Dad second. That pissed

478
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,360
Speaker 3: off Dad, but boyfriend has always greeted my mom first,

479
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:48,160
Speaker 3: unless Dad is significantly closer to him. Dad has complained

480
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:49,919
Speaker 3: to me about it because he is the man of

481
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,280
Speaker 3: the house and should be greeted first, and more bs

482
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:54,679
Speaker 3: like that. My boyfriend has told me that this is

483
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,280
Speaker 3: how he was raised by an amazing woman, single mom

484
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 3: of two older sister and him, and he's not changing

485
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 3: anything and I don't see why he should. Boyfriend took

486
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 3: an interest in mom's cooking, which smelled amazing, and I

487
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 3: saw Mom light up like I have not seen before,

488
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 3: answering questions, explaining things, sharing tips between them. He has

489
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 3: a really good cook too, absolutely lovely to see.

490
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 4: We sat down in.

491
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,359
Speaker 3: The living room. Sis came downstairs and joined us. Had

492
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 3: a great time together and pretty much ignored Dad, who

493
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:25,119
Speaker 3: was glued to the TV as usual. My mom asked

494
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 3: if anyone wanted something to drink, and boyfriend jumped up

495
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 3: and said, you've worked hard on the food, it's your

496
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,400
Speaker 3: time to relax. I'll get it, and he took our

497
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 3: order and went into the kitchen. Dad wanted adult soda.

498
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:38,160
Speaker 3: Boyfriend asked him what adult soda he wanted, since there

499
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:39,720
Speaker 3: are a lot of different runs in the fridge, and

500
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 3: Dad said, in an angry tone, just grab one. I

501
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 3: don't care. Boyfriend comes back with a bottle of wine

502
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 3: and two glasses for Mom and myself in one hand

503
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,680
Speaker 3: and sisters drink and the other went back into the

504
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,080
Speaker 3: kitchen to grab the adult soda and his own drink,

505
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,680
Speaker 3: but the adult soda on the table in front of dad.

506
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:59,160
Speaker 3: Dad stands up and yells, that's it. I will not

507
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 3: be disrespected like this in my own house, Mom sys

508
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 3: and me just shrunk. But boyfriend turned around and said,

509
00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 3: I asked what adult soda you wanted, and you said,

510
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,280
Speaker 3: just grab one. What's the problem, Dad, It's not about

511
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,919
Speaker 3: the adult soda. I got served last in my own house.

512
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 3: You will not just respect me like that, boyfriend. First off,

513
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 3: I got served last. In fact, I've not even put

514
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 3: my drink down. And what and what did you want

515
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:25,359
Speaker 3: me to do? Did you want me to He actually

516
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:29,480
Speaker 3: did air quotes for this, disrespect your wife or your

517
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,919
Speaker 3: daughter's instead, I have two hands, both were full, and

518
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 3: he turned around and sat down. Dad tried to respond

519
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 3: but just stuttered and pretty much ran upstairs. Boyfriend continued

520
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,359
Speaker 3: the conversation like nothing happened until Dad slammed the door,

521
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,480
Speaker 3: and boyfriend said, well that door is shut and broke

522
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 3: the tension, and we laughed.

523
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 4: This amazing guy, I gotta crush on you.

524
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:56,920
Speaker 5: Oh he's got a crush on you, little dad sitting

525
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:57,640
Speaker 5: in the chair.

526
00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:58,680
Speaker 4: He's got a crush on you.

527
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:03,200
Speaker 3: It's crazy, dude, dude, awesome, awesome of this boyfriend, those

528
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:07,120
Speaker 3: amazing responses. It's like, yeah, well do you like why

529
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:09,680
Speaker 3: do you want me to admit that you want me

530
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:13,640
Speaker 3: to disrespect your wife, admit that it was like that

531
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,439
Speaker 3: was the moment that something changed for my mom. A

532
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 3: bit later, we sat down for dinner. I went to

533
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 3: get Dad and told him that dinner was ready, and

534
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,160
Speaker 3: he snarled, I'm not coming. We used to beg him

535
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,400
Speaker 3: to come down, not the first time he's pulled this stunt,

536
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 3: but after seeing boyfriends stand up to him, I just

537
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,600
Speaker 3: said okay and went back down. We had an amazing

538
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,720
Speaker 3: dinner with Mom, boyfriend, Sis, and myself. Afterwards, we sat

539
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:36,199
Speaker 3: down in the living room for gifts. Mom went up

540
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 3: to get Dad again and came back down not even

541
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 3: thirty seconds later, and sat on the floor with us

542
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 3: to open the gifts. We had so much fun opening

543
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:46,440
Speaker 3: the gifts, laughing, drinking, throwing wrapping paper at each other,

544
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,680
Speaker 3: just having fun without a care in the world, which

545
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 3: I've never seen Mom do. Hours later, boyfriend and I

546
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,159
Speaker 3: were heading back home. Mom pulled us both in for

547
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 3: a massive hug, seriously massive Mom hugs are something else,

548
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 3: and thanked us for the best Christmas she has had

549
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:02,959
Speaker 3: in years.

550
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,440
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I forgot that the context was also

551
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 5: that the dad's trying to ruin Christmas.

552
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:09,639
Speaker 4: Yeah, which is insane.

553
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 2: It's like he's.

554
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,320
Speaker 3: Literally in the grin. She's like, Oh, I'm gonna slam

555
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 3: this door and take away Christmas And they're like fahoo, Doris, dude,

556
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 3: like we're good, We're freaking good.

557
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 5: This is like the perfect example of like do you

558
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 5: end up being like this is all I have?

559
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,640
Speaker 4: And then like someone just shows up and you're like.

560
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:30,440
Speaker 5: Oh that's oh, Oh I can divorce my husband because

561
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 5: he's a horrible.

562
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm o miserable man.

563
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 3: This is amazing. Op and this boyfriend can never break up.

564
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 3: Now they have to work out. While driving home, Sis

565
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,960
Speaker 3: texted me a picture of her and Mom on the

566
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,200
Speaker 3: floor watching a movie surrounded by a mess, which is

567
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 3: weird because Mom always had to clean and keep everything

568
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 3: perfect or our dad would yell and call her or

569
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 3: us lazy. But Mom was cleaning it tomorrow.

570
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 2: Yes Mom.

571
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 3: That all leads to today. Mom called and asked if

572
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 3: her and says could come over to discuss something. They

573
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:05,720
Speaker 3: arrived and wow, Mom has had simple mid black hair,

574
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 3: no color, no flavor, just as simple as possible for

575
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 3: as long as I've been alive. But now shoulder length

576
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:17,800
Speaker 3: bob with some low lights absolutely stunning. Boo all the

577
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 3: sadness and beer on her face gone, still mom, but

578
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 3: an absolutely gorgeous version of mom. She told us that

579
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,120
Speaker 3: she's going to see a divorce lawyer on the ninth

580
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 3: and will try to find a place and move out

581
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 3: as soon as possible. After long discussion on how she

582
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,479
Speaker 3: wants to do everything, we asked her why now, and

583
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 3: she said, And I'm proud and so effing happy that

584
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 3: she said this. At Christmas, something changed for me to

585
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:44,199
Speaker 3: see boyfriend's name stand up to dad like that, and

586
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,880
Speaker 3: the way boyfriend always treats you your sister and meet

587
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:50,439
Speaker 3: with so much love and respect. Boyfriend actually treats me

588
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,959
Speaker 3: like I'm my own person, and I've not felt like

589
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 3: that in a long time. With you too. I'm mom,

590
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 3: don't get me wrong. I absolutely love being mom for

591
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:01,400
Speaker 3: you too, But I'm more than I was either mom

592
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 3: or Dad's wife, which is true. He would always introduce

593
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 3: her as my wife. Name never name my wife. Might

594
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 3: not seem like a big deal, but to her it

595
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:11,360
Speaker 3: is and was.

596
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 4: This is great. She's is good news.

597
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, she got the breakup haircut already, She's smiling, she's

598
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 3: not cleaning. This all changed so fast and so easily.

599
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 5: Dad's upstairs in his room, Like, yeah, I'm not gonna

600
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,119
Speaker 5: come out of my room until you say you're not

601
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:29,960
Speaker 5: divorcing me.

602
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is amazing. Oh my gosh, I've not been

603
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:37,439
Speaker 3: the mom's actual name, not just mom in a long time.

604
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:38,400
Speaker 4: I've had enough.

605
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 3: I'm not letting him treat me like this anymore. I

606
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,960
Speaker 3: am not in love with him anymore. In fact, I

607
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 3: haven't been in love for a very long time. I

608
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 3: don't even have love for him anymore. But sis is

609
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,439
Speaker 3: old enough now, and with the two of you and

610
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 3: boyfriend's name with me, I can do it.

611
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:54,119
Speaker 2: Oh.

612
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,919
Speaker 3: I'm so damn proud of my mom for standing up

613
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,680
Speaker 3: for herself now. I'm so damn happy my boyfriend was

614
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 3: able to make her feel like her own person again

615
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,719
Speaker 3: when he didn't even try. I'm so damn happy that

616
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 3: mom and says and myself never have to be treated

617
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,159
Speaker 3: like crap by that man again. I am just so

618
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 3: effing happy. This is amazing. We have enough comment that

619
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 3: is the end of that storage yet.

620
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 4: Go mom, divorce your stinky ex husband. Yeah, dude, all right,

621
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:24,879
Speaker 4: you won't be disrespected?

622
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:25,400
Speaker 2: In my eye?

623
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 4: Was like, are you sure?

624
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, It's like, well, what are you gonna do, are

625
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:31,480
Speaker 3: you sure? All you gonna do is slam some doors

626
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 3: and leave us. That's kind of what we want us.

627
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 4: Well, that door's closed. He's literally crushing.

628
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 5: It'sushing in the living room and Dad's upstairs, like, dude,

629
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 5: for real.

630
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 3: It's like, what we're what we're supposed to come? Beg

631
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 3: you to come downstairs like we always do. We don't

632
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 3: want you.

633
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 5: He comes down anyway and sits on the floor like

634
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 5: a petulant child.

635
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:57,320
Speaker 3: Like fine, yeah, he can't even do that.

636
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your ogi host. Here the stories. But

637
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 1: here's three minutes fads from our sponsor.

638
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:06,000
Speaker 2: I refuse to spend my birthday with my sister because

639
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 2: of the things she did. What did she do? I

640
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:13,440
Speaker 2: fifty nine female, have one sister, sixty one female. I

641
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 2: will call her Leah for context. We're half sisters, but

642
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 2: grew up together and never considered each other as anything

643
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 2: but full sisters. We share the same mom, and my

644
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 2: sister and my mother are very similar personality wise. And

645
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 2: trust me when I tell you this is not necessarily

646
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 2: a good thing. By the way, this comes from no

647
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 2: lengthiness eighty eight ninety five. And if you want to

648
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 2: spend your own stories. Go to the r slash Okay

649
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 2: story time separate it. I was close to my sister

650
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 2: growing up. She was thinner, prettier, smarter, and always appeared

651
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 2: more put together than me, and I worshiped the ground

652
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 2: she walked on. She was also the responsible one and

653
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 2: got the perks for this, such as a brand new

654
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 2: car at sixteen, going on school trips, and had nicer clothes, shoes,

655
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 2: and stuff. I wouldn't say she was the golden child,

656
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 2: but as she was the eldest between me and our cousins,

657
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 2: she was the one everyone one looked up to and

658
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,200
Speaker 2: everyone deferred to, especially me. I, on the other hand,

659
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 2: was the overweight, weird, socially awkward kid, a total pushover,

660
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 2: people pleaser, and easily manipulated. I constantly got picked on

661
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 2: and bullied both at school and inside my family dang

662
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:19,320
Speaker 2: My sister could at times be both my greatest tormentor

663
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 2: and my biggest advocate, especially against my mother, who was

664
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 2: hands down the person who manipulated me the most. Though

665
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 2: I was well into my adulthood and my mother had

666
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:32,640
Speaker 2: passed away several years ago before it dawned on me

667
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 2: how bad my relationship with my mother was. I stopped

668
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 2: being close with my sister in her senior year of

669
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 2: high school when she rightfully chose her friends over her family.

670
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 2: I say rightfully because this is part of growing up

671
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:47,560
Speaker 2: and expanding your wings. The thing was, I felt abandoned

672
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,440
Speaker 2: by her. As the years passed, her priorities changed and

673
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 2: I adjusted. It hurt too much to be ignored and

674
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 2: overlooked by her, so I put her out of my heart. She, though,

675
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 2: never let me go, and for a long time we

676
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 2: never discussed my change feelings for her. She always assumed

677
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 2: everything was normal when it hadn't been that way for me.

678
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 2: Leah started dating her husband, Pete sixty one mail since

679
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 2: high school. He was part of the reason she moved

680
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:13,080
Speaker 2: away from me emotionally. I became close to his family,

681
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 2: and they included me in their lives as one of

682
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 2: their own. But I was never that close to Pete.

683
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 2: He thought I was kind of a loser, and he

684
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,600
Speaker 2: often insulted and berated me while they dated. When she

685
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 2: sat me down and told me they were getting married,

686
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 2: I told her that I was happy for her, but

687
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:27,720
Speaker 2: I did not like Pete, and I likely would not

688
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 2: have a close relationship with him. This did not make

689
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:31,720
Speaker 2: her happy, but all she could do was try to

690
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 2: mend our connection as best as she could. They had

691
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 2: a small wedding and I was her only maid of honor.

692
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:40,080
Speaker 2: Fast forward several years. I started getting my act together.

693
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 2: I had a decent job, I had a solid group

694
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 2: of friends. I thought my familial relationships were on the

695
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 2: right track, and though I was single, I was ready

696
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 2: to have a child. I considered artificial insemination for this.

697
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 2: I was not quite ready for motherhood, but getting closer,

698
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 2: and I was pushing forty, so my biological clock was

699
00:31:56,800 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 2: almost at a standstill. Leah and Pete hadn't had children,

700
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 2: and my mother was the only one of her siblings

701
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 2: that was without grandkids. Then she got the devastating diagnosis

702
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 2: that she was terminally ill with lung cancer. I pushed

703
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 2: up having a child because of her diagnosis. I went

704
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:14,520
Speaker 2: through the process without telling anyone what I was doing.

705
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 2: I even dealt with a miscarriage on my own. I

706
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 2: finally got word that I was pregnant. I took my

707
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 2: mother and sister out for my mother's birthday and told them,

708
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 2: and they were shocked and ultimately not happy about it.

709
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 2: My mother even told Pete that he would likely be

710
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 2: the one to raise my kid. I didn't realize how

711
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 2: prophetic that offhand comment would become. My mother purchased a

712
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,480
Speaker 2: condo a few years before my son was born. She

713
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:38,480
Speaker 2: had me shop around with her for the condo. She

714
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 2: claimed it was going to be her retirement home, but

715
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 2: wanted me to move in it before she was ready

716
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 2: to retire. Later, after she retired, she confessed that she

717
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 2: purposely bought the condo for me, and that meant that

718
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 2: I was now indebted to her. I knew this was

719
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 2: another way of her manipulating me. I tried, before getting

720
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 2: pregnant to leave her my home town and start a

721
00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 2: new life elsewhere, but it didn't work out. In fact,

722
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:02,480
Speaker 2: when the job opportunity that would enable me to move

723
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 2: away from her and my sister fell through, she cheered

724
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 2: loudly when I told her that I didn't get the

725
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:11,160
Speaker 2: job and listened to her happily crow way while I cried,

726
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 2: feeling horrible I was stuck. After the baby was born,

727
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 2: she told me that I needed to sell the condo

728
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 2: and move in with her so she could be with

729
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 2: her grandson Adam until she passed away. So I did

730
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:25,720
Speaker 2: just that, and she complained constantly to my sister about me,

731
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 2: pretty much every day until she passed away, but I

732
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:32,520
Speaker 2: dealt with it and also with undiagnosed PbD. She lived

733
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 2: long enough to see my son take his first steps.

734
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 2: She started to get sick on Christmas Eve and was

735
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 2: sick all through the holiday.

736
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:39,479
Speaker 3: It was awful.

737
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 2: Now I was stuck in my childhood home, my work situation,

738
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 2: and my mental health became erratic once again. My sister

739
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 2: took over the role of being my harshest critic. She

740
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 2: let me live rent free in my childhood home, which

741
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 2: he now owned, and I struggled, which made my parenting

742
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 2: of Adam suffer. Leah and Pete criticized everything I did

743
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 2: with Adam. I'm not saying all of my decisions were great,

744
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 2: but I couldn't catch a break. Then, when Adam was four,

745
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 2: I had a real setback with some career and financial

746
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 2: decisions and my undiagnosed mental health issues, and I had

747
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 2: a small breakdown. I was worried I would hurt Adam.

748
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,400
Speaker 2: That was the last thing I wanted to do. I

749
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:18,120
Speaker 2: asked Pete to come take them. I checked myself into

750
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 2: a mental hospital, but they didn't help me at all.

751
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 2: When I returned, I had no job and I lost

752
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:26,279
Speaker 2: my son. Leah and Pete decided to keep Adam e

753
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 2: which honestly to decide that though well, yeah, no, of

754
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:32,880
Speaker 2: course not. But I doubt oh Pee could adequately fight

755
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,160
Speaker 2: to get back her son when she literally just checked

756
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 2: herself into a mental hospital. I fully agree that maybe

757
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 2: that's where we're at here, but I'm not easy. But

758
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:42,800
Speaker 2: like it's like, at the end of the day, I do.

759
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:43,480
Speaker 3: Yeah.

760
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:46,080
Speaker 2: I agreed because I needed to get myself back on track.

761
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:48,800
Speaker 2: It was only supposed to be temporary, but they decided

762
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 2: they wanted to keep him permanently. I was told that

763
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 2: if I fought them in court, they would win because

764
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 2: these were two people who made six figures each at

765
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,839
Speaker 2: a stable home and could give him the stability that I,

766
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 2: a single mom barely making above minimum wage and living

767
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 2: rent free in my sister's house, could give him. This

768
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 2: was a battle I knew I would lose, but I

769
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,279
Speaker 2: never gave up custody or granted them guardianship. I was

770
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 2: told that if I did, they could keep him from

771
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 2: me permanently. Leo would claim she would not do that,

772
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 2: but my gut told me otherwise. I became more the

773
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 2: fun mom for my son while they were his disciplinarians.

774
00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:22,239
Speaker 2: Adam and I grew closer over the years, and my

775
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 2: home was his sanctuary, his soft place to land where

776
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:28,359
Speaker 2: he could rest, relax and breathe easy. Things never got

777
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 2: easier with me and my sister. I lived in a

778
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,880
Speaker 2: state of resentment, and she passed off her role as

779
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,879
Speaker 2: the giving and supportive thifter. She was always involved too

780
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,440
Speaker 2: much in my life, using Adam as her excuse. I

781
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 2: never stopped wanting to get away from her, but I

782
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,279
Speaker 2: wasn't going anywhere until Adam was out of school. He

783
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 2: was my top priority. During the VID, tensions started to

784
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:49,719
Speaker 2: worsen between her and me. We battled constantly and her

785
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 2: passive aggressive insults cut deep. Over the years, she often

786
00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:55,360
Speaker 2: brought me to tears, and she ramped this up in

787
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 2: twenty twenty and I hated being around her. The final

788
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 2: straw came on Adam's seventeenth birthday, which was also Inauguration Day.

789
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,520
Speaker 2: I went to her house to celebrate. She made me

790
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 2: feel unwelcome and uncomfortable the moment I stepped inside her home.

791
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 2: We had a big blowout over one of my birthday

792
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 2: gifts that I gave Adam the results of a DNA test,

793
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:17,120
Speaker 2: and I left, OH and stopped talking to her. Oh.

794
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 2: That was the last time I stepped inside her home.

795
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 2: We remained distant, only getting together for Adam's high school graduation.

796
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:26,719
Speaker 2: A year after Adam started college, I finally moved out

797
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 2: of state and away from her. Since my move, my

798
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,919
Speaker 2: life has improved greatly. Leah and Pete never completely lost

799
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 2: touch with me. They came to visit me during the

800
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,279
Speaker 2: holidays several months after I moved, and then again when

801
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 2: I moved to another apartment in my new city. Both

802
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:42,320
Speaker 2: times they came with Adam. A few months ago, Leah

803
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 2: and I had a long conversation over the phone where

804
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:48,720
Speaker 2: we hashed over our differences and where I finally admitted

805
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 2: to her that I left the state to get away

806
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 2: from her. This hit her hard, but I was sympathetic

807
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:55,239
Speaker 2: to her pain, and for her sake and for my

808
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:57,799
Speaker 2: son's sake, I decided to leave the door open on

809
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 2: our relationship. She and Pete came to visit, just the

810
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 2: two of them, about two months after we had our

811
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:05,960
Speaker 2: four hour long phone conversation. You have long context of

812
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:09,280
Speaker 2: my contentious relationship with my sister. Now to the topic

813
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:12,400
Speaker 2: at hand. My birthday. First, I am not great about

814
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,240
Speaker 2: celebrating my birthday. Many of them haven't been the greatest

815
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:18,560
Speaker 2: over the years. Most were non memorable. It's the milestone

816
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 2: birthdays that needed to have significance but always fell flat.

817
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 2: I remember ordering an Amaretto sour for my twenty first birthday.

818
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:27,279
Speaker 2: I can remember for the life of me what I

819
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:30,239
Speaker 2: did for my thirtieth. It was obviously nothing spectacular. On

820
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 2: my fortieth, I rented a cottage in Indiana by Lake

821
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 2: Michigan and invited my family and friends to come celebrate.

822
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,360
Speaker 2: The cottage was the party house, with a huge backyard

823
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 2: and pool. Adam was a year and a half. I

824
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 2: remember that at one point that weekend arguing with Leah

825
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 2: and Pete. I think it had something to do with Adam,

826
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 2: and it was so bad that I was in tears. Thankfully,

827
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:52,360
Speaker 2: the guests that arrived saved me from being completely depressed.

828
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:54,840
Speaker 2: But I got through my fortieth without too many scars.

829
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,719
Speaker 2: My fifthieth, I planned a trip, initially just for me

830
00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,919
Speaker 2: and Adam to go to Maine. Leah and Pete also

831
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,480
Speaker 2: wanted to go, and so I relented and we made

832
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 2: it a family vacation. They added a short stay in

833
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 2: Quebec City. The trip started out pleasant enough, but as

834
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 2: we went to Quebec City, the drama in suit. And

835
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:12,399
Speaker 2: it started with Pete being a knucklehead and my sister

836
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 2: getting involved, and the arguments between the three of us

837
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:17,880
Speaker 2: were horrible and tear inducing, and I wanted the trip

838
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 2: to end. We called the truce, but when we returned

839
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,399
Speaker 2: to Maine for my fiftieth birthday, I didn't even get

840
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:24,560
Speaker 2: to pick the restaurant. We ate that my sister made

841
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,840
Speaker 2: the choice as she was paying, and it was somewhere

842
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:30,280
Speaker 2: Pete prevert. My option was sneered at. I was deflated,

843
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:33,239
Speaker 2: but I kept up appearances as if I did not,

844
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,920
Speaker 2: I would be considered ungrateful and then be blamed for

845
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 2: causing more drama. Now, my sixtieth birthday is fast approaching,

846
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:41,440
Speaker 2: I've been contemplating taking a trip to New York City

847
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 2: to see a Broadway shoe woo, or go to Newport

848
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 2: and go sight seeing, or take a drive in Virginia

849
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 2: or the Gulf Coast. I planned to do this on

850
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 2: my own, celebrate myself, goodness, do that. Adam starts his

851
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 2: final year of college the week of my birthday, so

852
00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 2: he can't accompany me, but later I'm planning to take

853
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:02,360
Speaker 2: him with me to Europe for my sixtieth birthday and

854
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 2: his graduation a gift for graduating that will likely be

855
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:08,160
Speaker 2: next May or June. Here's my dilemma. Yesterday, my sister

856
00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:10,880
Speaker 2: texted me to check in, give me updates on my aunt,

857
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:13,359
Speaker 2: my mom's younger sister, and to see if I would

858
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:15,399
Speaker 2: like to come back to my hometown to see them

859
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:18,000
Speaker 2: for my sixtieth birthday. I would visit my aunt, who

860
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 2: is in hospice and wants to see me, and they

861
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 2: would plan a whole big event for my sixtieth. If

862
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,239
Speaker 2: things work out, I can also take my son to

863
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:27,920
Speaker 2: school to settle in for his final year. It sounded

864
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:30,960
Speaker 2: like a great option, but now after thinking about it,

865
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:34,400
Speaker 2: I'm not so sure I've been good keeping low contact

866
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 2: with my sister. I want to just immediately be like,

867
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 2: don't go.

868
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 6: You had this perfect plan for your own little sixtieth

869
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 6: and you can go see your aunt on your own

870
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 6: a different time, like it doesn't also have to be

871
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 6: your birthday weekend.

872
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 2: Oh pee, you can say no. I had plans set

873
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 2: in my head for sixtieth drama free fun birthday for

874
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,359
Speaker 2: a while. Now there is the monkey wrench thrown into

875
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 2: my plans. He didn't promise her any answer yet. She

876
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:58,839
Speaker 2: wanted to pay for my plane ticket, but I told

877
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 2: her I would drive. It's a five and a half

878
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 2: hour drive. I keep remembering past birthdays and how awful

879
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:05,799
Speaker 2: they were. I wonder if I should put myself through

880
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 2: this again. But if I say no, this will stir

881
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 2: up sour feelings. I feel stuck, like once again my

882
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 2: choices are being taken away or being made for me.

883
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:17,360
Speaker 2: She's a master manipulator, and I'm a hopeless people pleaser.

884
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:19,920
Speaker 2: Would I be the a hole if I refused her invitation?

885
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:22,399
Speaker 2: How would I go about doing so without muddying these

886
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 2: murky waters? Further comments coming.

887
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:24,879
Speaker 6: One.

888
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:28,879
Speaker 2: You've spent sixty years sacrificing yourself and your happiness again

889
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:31,360
Speaker 2: and again because she or your mom told you to.

890
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:34,320
Speaker 2: Hindsight is a witch and you can't take back your actions.

891
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 2: But you never should have left your condo. Your life

892
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,279
Speaker 2: and your relationship with Adam would look so different if

893
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 2: you hadn't. They stole your son away from you by

894
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 2: convincing you that they were the better option for him.

895
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,240
Speaker 2: You were right, not to ever sign away your rights.

896
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:48,480
Speaker 2: They never had children, but it probably wasn't for lack

897
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:50,920
Speaker 2: of trying, though. When you got pregnant, she saw this

898
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 2: as her chance to become a mother. She had successfully

899
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,440
Speaker 2: manipulated you your entire lives and knew that it wouldn't

900
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 2: take much to push the situation to her favor. A

901
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:00,759
Speaker 2: good sister would have done everything she could to help

902
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 2: you cope with motherhood, not convince you that the best

903
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 2: option for you was to give your child to her instead.

904
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:08,360
Speaker 2: You've tried several times to sever the ties that buying

905
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:10,439
Speaker 2: you to her, and you said it yourself, You've never

906
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 2: been happier than when she wasn't in your life. But

907
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:14,839
Speaker 2: while your self esteem is dependent on you being away

908
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 2: from her, hers requires you to be a presence in

909
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:20,440
Speaker 2: her life, which is a wildly toxic dynamic that she

910
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 2: is the sole beneficiary of. Now, regarding your birthday, you

911
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 2: should visit your aunt in hospice. You should ask Adam

912
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:28,160
Speaker 2: if he'd like for you to help him get situated

913
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:30,360
Speaker 2: for a senior year. If he does, great, spend it

914
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:32,520
Speaker 2: with him and enjoy it, and then avoid your sister

915
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:34,880
Speaker 2: like the plague. You already know the answer to your

916
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,320
Speaker 2: own question. She'll make your day all about her again,

917
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 2: and you want to enjoy it again. The definition of

918
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:42,360
Speaker 2: insanity is repeating the same action again and again and

919
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:46,840
Speaker 2: expecting different results. You've tried it her way before many times.

920
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,040
Speaker 2: There can be a plan in place. She'll promise to

921
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 2: honor your wishes in regards to that plan, and then

922
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:53,439
Speaker 2: she'll ignore them in favor of her own, and you'll

923
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:55,840
Speaker 2: be left hurting. For sixty years, you've allowed her to

924
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:58,800
Speaker 2: walk all over you. You've spent your entire life feeling

925
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 2: inferior to her, and she's spent her entire life in

926
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,759
Speaker 2: forcing this. My guess is she's wildly and happy in

927
00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:07,080
Speaker 2: her own life and in her marriage. This is why

928
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:09,320
Speaker 2: she needs you around to put down and make herself

929
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 2: feel superior by forcing you to feel inferior, which you

930
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 2: are not. The best sixtieth birthday present you can give

931
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,759
Speaker 2: to yourself is to finally cut her out of your life.

932
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:20,840
Speaker 2: Write a letter detelling exactly how miserable she's made you

933
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:23,480
Speaker 2: feel your entire life. Give examples of all the ways

934
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:27,040
Speaker 2: she's dismissed, disregarded, and disrespected you in the sixty years

935
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:29,320
Speaker 2: you've known her. Tell her that for your peace of mind,

936
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:32,040
Speaker 2: and because you finally decided that enough is enough you

937
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:34,440
Speaker 2: no longer want her in your life. Also, if he

938
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:36,800
Speaker 2: doesn't know any of or all of this already, you

939
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 2: should have a long, honest talk with your son about this.

940
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:41,719
Speaker 2: Apologize for not being stronger when they told you that

941
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:43,919
Speaker 2: you weren't fit to be his mother, for believing them

942
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,359
Speaker 2: and letting them bulldoze you. But make sure he knows

943
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,800
Speaker 2: that despite everything, you only ever did what you believe

944
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 2: was the best option for him because you were so

945
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:54,240
Speaker 2: traumatized by their treatment of you that you genuinely believe

946
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 2: their lies and manipulation. No doubt, he's been told stories

947
00:42:57,160 --> 00:42:59,000
Speaker 2: about you growing up in their house, and he may

948
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:02,359
Speaker 2: not even realize the extent of manipulation he himself could

949
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:04,839
Speaker 2: have been subjected to. Big hugs you, I truly hope

950
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:07,440
Speaker 2: you managed to break free from this unhealthy relationship with

951
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 2: your sister. You are in no way inferior and it

952
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:13,759
Speaker 2: shouldn't have taken you sixty years to finally understand that. Oh,

953
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 2: he says, I have had long conversations with my son.

954
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 2: He knows the deal between the two of us. Unfortunately,

955
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,000
Speaker 2: he's been out in the middle of this ridiculous drama,

956
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 2: but for far too long, he's even used it to

957
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 2: his advantage at times, sort of like some children of

958
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 2: divorce might do by playing us against each other. It's

959
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:32,400
Speaker 2: definitely a twisted and toxic situation. I want more than

960
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:35,280
Speaker 2: anything to walk away forever from my sister, but because

961
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,880
Speaker 2: Adam is such an important part of both of our lives,

962
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 2: that right now is not possible. You might go to

963
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:42,880
Speaker 2: grad school close to me than to my sister in

964
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:45,919
Speaker 2: his current state. Things might change again when or if

965
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 2: that happens. I do need to take some time to

966
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 2: consider my next move, because the last thing I need

967
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 2: is to be drawn back into this mess, which may

968
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 2: indeed be something she desires for whatever motivation or twisted

969
00:43:56,640 --> 00:44:00,360
Speaker 2: reason she has, while I only desire peace in my life.

970
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 6: My sister excluded us from a family trip because she

971
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 6: thinks we don't like her.

972
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 2: Is it true?

973
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:09,239
Speaker 6: I male forty six, live in the UK. I have

974
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 6: recently been diagnosed with ADHD. My parents were the type

975
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:15,680
Speaker 6: to not believe in things like ADHD or mental health issues,

976
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:18,359
Speaker 6: coming from a background of pick yourself up and get

977
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:20,600
Speaker 6: on with it, or just snap out of it when

978
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:23,840
Speaker 6: faced with depressive people. My parents and siblings are slash

979
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 6: were a family of five. Our parents are divorced and

980
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:29,160
Speaker 6: I have two older sisters. This is about the younger

981
00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 6: of my two sisters, her suspected narcissism, and her enabler,

982
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 6: who's our mother. By the way, this comes from my

983
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:38,240
Speaker 6: main profile, and if you want to submit your own stories,

984
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,400
Speaker 6: go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

985
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:42,279
Speaker 2: Here's a list of our people that we got here.

986
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:47,399
Speaker 6: Father seventy eight, mother seventy two, older sister Olivia fifty two,

987
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:51,959
Speaker 6: younger sister Yasmin fifty, me forty six. I should add

988
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,440
Speaker 6: that while I do not consider my childhood to have

989
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:57,520
Speaker 6: been harmful or particularly hard, things that were said and

990
00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 6: done in my presence and during the time of the

991
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 6: divorce had some effect, and the feeling of being piggy

992
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:05,360
Speaker 6: in the middle changed who I was and what I

993
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:08,800
Speaker 6: thought life was. An example, I unfortunately had to drop

994
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 6: out of college in my second year and take full

995
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:13,600
Speaker 6: time work as I had to help pay the mortgage

996
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 6: or lose the house after our mother left home. I

997
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 6: do not blame her for that, because I wouldn't want

998
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:21,800
Speaker 6: her to have stayed in that situation. But I can't

999
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:25,760
Speaker 6: help acknowledge that it probably changed my future in certain ways. Father,

1000
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:29,319
Speaker 6: Olivia and I are no contact with Yasmin. Olivia and

1001
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:32,680
Speaker 6: I are also minimal contact with our mother. Our mother

1002
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:35,719
Speaker 6: and father have been divorced for around thirty years now,

1003
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:37,919
Speaker 6: but get on enough to be in the same room

1004
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 6: as each other if there is a reason to be

1005
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:43,400
Speaker 6: there which is relevant later. Yasmin is, in my untrained

1006
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:48,360
Speaker 6: yet observant opinion, an undiagnosed, over self absorbed person showing

1007
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:53,120
Speaker 6: traits of Munchausen syndrome, martyrdom, and others. She seeks attention,

1008
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 6: makes up wild accusations and scenarios that don't add up

1009
00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:59,960
Speaker 6: and become more exaggerated over time. She is obsessed with

1010
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 6: our mother to a cringe worthy level of sappy puciku mummy, Mummy,

1011
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:08,120
Speaker 6: I'm your one and only child and your little girl

1012
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 6: kind of posts on her Facebook. She flirts and cuddles

1013
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 6: with other men in front of their partners, has been

1014
00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:17,160
Speaker 6: going through other people's stuff to the point of stealing

1015
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:20,400
Speaker 6: and opening letters that are not addressed to her flity.

1016
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 6: She either makes up or exaggerates illnesses or injuries. She

1017
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 6: has two failed marriages that ended entirely because of the

1018
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 6: husband's faults and failings nothing she did.

1019
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:32,280
Speaker 2: Of course, she's perfect.

1020
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 6: Yet these men have gone on to have successful, long

1021
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 6: relationships with other people, and one of them, who was

1022
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 6: branded as violent and harmful, has remarried to a nurse,

1023
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:45,280
Speaker 6: had another child, and is going strong while she remains single.

1024
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:50,920
Speaker 6: As all men are a holes, she has been called devious, manipulative, controlling, jealous,

1025
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:54,560
Speaker 6: and more. But one common theme whenever anyone confronts her

1026
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 6: is that the other person is either lying, delusional, or doesn't.

1027
00:46:57,920 --> 00:46:59,000
Speaker 2: Remember it the way it was.

1028
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:03,280
Speaker 6: Other than a troublemakers, everyone else loves her and thinks

1029
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:06,560
Speaker 6: she's lovely, but she's the type of person who will

1030
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:08,799
Speaker 6: wave and smile at you in the street one day

1031
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,960
Speaker 6: and completely blank you and walk the other way the next.

1032
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:14,480
Speaker 6: When we were kids, she would look after me while

1033
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 6: our parents were at work, but would play and talk

1034
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 6: to me in the morning, then blank me in the afternoon,

1035
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:23,680
Speaker 6: depending of course, on mood, the alignment of the stars,

1036
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 6: or if a butterfly got caught inside an airplane cockpit

1037
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:30,920
Speaker 6: and twitched its wings thirty five thousand feet.

1038
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:31,879
Speaker 2: Above peeking her.

1039
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 6: Other alleged exploits include parental alienation of her children, over

1040
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:39,880
Speaker 6: friendly behavior with her stepfather and male members of her

1041
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 6: partner's family, over friendly behavior with her supervisors and those

1042
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:47,680
Speaker 6: in authority, male theft and hiding of bills or statements

1043
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:50,719
Speaker 6: in others names, and too many more to post. She

1044
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 6: had not talked to our father for many years and

1045
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 6: pretty much called her stepdad her real dad, and even

1046
00:47:56,280 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 6: her oldest children have tattoos of granddad relating to their

1047
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:03,440
Speaker 6: step granddad, not their real granddad. But since he passed

1048
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:06,359
Speaker 6: away and a small medical emergency our real father had,

1049
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:09,920
Speaker 6: she had been sending him sappy text messages saying how

1050
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:13,080
Speaker 6: much she loves him, et cetera. I have copies of them,

1051
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:16,839
Speaker 6: enabling her in this is our mother who won't hear

1052
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:20,080
Speaker 6: a bad word said about her. Everyone lies, everyone makes

1053
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 6: up things to get their own way. Yasmin is an

1054
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:25,960
Speaker 6: amazing mom who had to choose to raise four children

1055
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 6: with nothing because their fathers didn't want to were prevented

1056
00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:32,040
Speaker 6: from knowing their kids and our a holes and need

1057
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 6: to be squashed like a bug. At the start of

1058
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:36,719
Speaker 6: twenty twenty three, I went no contact with our mother

1059
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 6: after an argument about money. Since I've been out of work.

1060
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:42,120
Speaker 6: I have asked to borrow money from time to time

1061
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:44,479
Speaker 6: and bank transfer it back when I can.

1062
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:45,520
Speaker 2: Now I will.

1063
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:47,239
Speaker 6: Hold my hands up here and say that in the

1064
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 6: past I have not always been one hundred percent about

1065
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:53,000
Speaker 6: paying back money, although sometimes I was told not to

1066
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:57,400
Speaker 6: worry about returning it, but then admonished for not doing so. However,

1067
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:00,239
Speaker 6: for a few years leading up to the argument, I

1068
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 6: had been making sure to remember to pay it back.

1069
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,719
Speaker 6: But as far as our mother is concerned, I have

1070
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:07,640
Speaker 6: never paid back a penny. I asked to Farrow fifty

1071
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:09,880
Speaker 6: pounds for food to make it to the weekend for

1072
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:12,759
Speaker 6: us and our kids, her grandchildren, and was made to

1073
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:15,440
Speaker 6: feel like I was bleeding her dry. Then, in the

1074
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:18,440
Speaker 6: same phone conversation, she told me how she had offered

1075
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 6: to financially help Yasmin to get her car ready for

1076
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 6: its annual inspection. When I pointed out the blatant favoritism

1077
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:27,760
Speaker 6: in this, our mother said that she knows that Yasmin

1078
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,799
Speaker 6: will definitely pay her back, but that it's irrelevant because

1079
00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 6: Yasmin simply wouldn't ask anyway nor take it if she

1080
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:37,040
Speaker 6: was offered. Okay, but there is evidence that you haven't

1081
00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:38,080
Speaker 6: paid things back.

1082
00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:44,200
Speaker 2: Yes, Yeah, it's like, is it blatant favoritism if Yasmin

1083
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:46,880
Speaker 2: is paying it back and if you haven't. And I

1084
00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 2: don't want to say like obviously he's having some like

1085
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 2: financial troubles, but yeah, totally. You know, I do think

1086
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 2: it's somewhat understandable that your mom doesn't want to necessarily

1087
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:57,000
Speaker 2: you offer up money in the same way that she's

1088
00:49:57,040 --> 00:49:59,080
Speaker 2: doing for Yasmin if you're not paying back.

1089
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:01,920
Speaker 6: And also if we're basically no contact with mother. But

1090
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:03,759
Speaker 6: we have lots of other family members that we have

1091
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:05,319
Speaker 6: mentioned that we are still talking to.

1092
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:07,560
Speaker 3: Maybe we could go to them.

1093
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:10,840
Speaker 6: Yeah, there is also some bad feeling about money anyway,

1094
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 6: since our stepfather left Yasmin twenty five thousand pounds in

1095
00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:18,280
Speaker 6: his will but told Olivia and me to go punt Rocks.

1096
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:21,719
Speaker 6: After the argument, I started looking back at bank statements

1097
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:25,640
Speaker 6: and found that between twenty nineteen and January twenty twenty three,

1098
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:29,480
Speaker 6: I had transferred a little under twenty one hundred pounds

1099
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:32,279
Speaker 6: to our mother's account. Again, I'm not saying that was

1100
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 6: everything that.

1101
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:35,480
Speaker 2: Was borrowed, but it's not nothing either.

1102
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:38,359
Speaker 6: In December twenty twenty two, I noted that we had

1103
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:41,479
Speaker 6: borrowed three hundred pounds to get through Christmas and paid

1104
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:43,640
Speaker 6: it back as soon as we had money in January.

1105
00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:46,440
Speaker 6: When I asked for the fifty pounds, Yasmin had told

1106
00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:49,880
Speaker 6: our mother that her New Year's resolution should be to

1107
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,720
Speaker 6: not lend any more money to anyone. The no contact

1108
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:55,520
Speaker 6: lasted until twenty twenty four, after our mother contacted me

1109
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:59,360
Speaker 6: wasted to talk. Ironically, after having a fallout with Yasmin.

1110
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 6: Minimal contact then resumed. But nothing is the same as

1111
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 6: it was. The reason that Yasmin and our mother fell out,

1112
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:09,520
Speaker 6: as above, is because they and Yasmin's kids were all

1113
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:12,759
Speaker 6: invited to my daughter's sixteenth birthday party. She doesn't live

1114
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 6: with me, She lives with her mother about forty five

1115
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 6: miles away. Yasmin didn't want to go because everyone hates

1116
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:20,800
Speaker 6: her and she'll be left all on her own, despite

1117
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 6: having her kids and their partners there, as well as

1118
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:26,440
Speaker 6: several family members who would talk to her. Yasmin is

1119
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:29,319
Speaker 6: very woe is me, everyone hates me. The classic self

1120
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:31,719
Speaker 6: observed person line, I don't even know what I've done

1121
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:35,520
Speaker 6: wrong is used often. Our mother was aggravated by this

1122
00:51:35,719 --> 00:51:38,040
Speaker 6: because she was supposed to come to the party with Yasmin.

1123
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:40,760
Speaker 6: She doesn't drive and so couldn't go either. I should

1124
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:43,759
Speaker 6: point out here that Yasmin has twins whose birthday is

1125
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:46,160
Speaker 6: on the same day, but they are adults, and so

1126
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:48,880
Speaker 6: we're having a little party the next night, which our

1127
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:52,839
Speaker 6: mother refused to attend. Go onto the am I overreacting part.

1128
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:56,240
Speaker 6: April twenty ninth this year was Olivia's fifty second birthday,

1129
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 6: and she, along with mother, father, and my wife and

1130
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:01,799
Speaker 6: I met up at a cafe for breakfast. Our mother

1131
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:03,920
Speaker 6: offered to pay for our food, but wife and I

1132
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 6: had already ordered, so she paid for herself.

1133
00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:08,280
Speaker 2: Olivia and father.

1134
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:11,560
Speaker 6: During the next hour we talked normally about anything and

1135
00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 6: everything and left separately. Due to the minimal contact, our

1136
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 6: mother probably did not expect to hear from Olivia or

1137
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 6: myself for a few days. The following up morning, Olivia

1138
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 6: tried to phone our mother for a reason that I

1139
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:26,120
Speaker 6: forgot to ask. Someone answered her phone, and Olivia found

1140
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:28,920
Speaker 6: out that our mother had accidentally left her phone in

1141
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:32,359
Speaker 6: the departure lounge of Heathrow Airport, which is about one

1142
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:35,239
Speaker 6: hundred and twenty miles away. Through a bit of back

1143
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:37,879
Speaker 6: and forth, we discovered that Yasmin and our mother had

1144
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:40,719
Speaker 6: taken a flight to New York for four days. Olivia

1145
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:43,440
Speaker 6: and I knew nothing about this, despite having seen her

1146
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:46,880
Speaker 6: the previous day, and after finally getting through our aunt

1147
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:50,360
Speaker 6: mother's sisters, we were told that Yasmin had asked that

1148
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 6: we not be told prior to their leaving because and

1149
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:55,719
Speaker 6: I quote, we all hate her. Needless to say, this

1150
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:58,319
Speaker 6: was quite the shock, But my first thought was what

1151
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:01,040
Speaker 6: difference did it make if Olivia and I knew about

1152
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:01,960
Speaker 6: it before they went?

1153
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:03,080
Speaker 2: How does that affect them?

1154
00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:05,400
Speaker 6: This seems to be the drama that Yasmin loves to

1155
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 6: cause she thrives on it, and I can imagine on

1156
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:10,799
Speaker 6: the outside she was very much please don't tell them,

1157
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:12,960
Speaker 6: they hate me and I'm scared, But on the inside

1158
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:15,719
Speaker 6: she was loving the drama cause and how easily she

1159
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:19,120
Speaker 6: could manipulate our mother and other family who discount our

1160
00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:22,839
Speaker 6: thoughts or opinions by using the possible reaction we might

1161
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 6: have to reinforce her insistence that she's perfect and it's

1162
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:29,680
Speaker 6: the rest of us who are unreasonable and controlling or cruel.

1163
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:31,400
Speaker 2: I'm torn on how to feel about this.

1164
00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:33,920
Speaker 6: On the one hand, it's really none of my business

1165
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 6: what they get up to and the circumstances are just

1166
00:53:36,239 --> 00:53:39,600
Speaker 6: what they are. This is more enabling of my Yasmin's

1167
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:43,319
Speaker 6: twisted mentality, and now to me, at least, my mother

1168
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:46,719
Speaker 6: has become exactly like her. There is now blatant favoritism,

1169
00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:50,120
Speaker 6: and I once again should cut my losses and walk away.

1170
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:53,680
Speaker 6: It's also ironic to me that shortly before Olivia's birthday,

1171
00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:56,719
Speaker 6: a longtime friend of our mother had passed away, and

1172
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:59,720
Speaker 6: our mother was disgusted that none of her friend's children

1173
00:53:59,760 --> 00:54:02,320
Speaker 6: had come to see their mother because they had fallen

1174
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 6: out and her friend had ultimately passed away alone. She

1175
00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:08,360
Speaker 6: noted that she hopes it would never happen to her,

1176
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 6: and then a few days later she participated in well this,

1177
00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:13,880
Speaker 6: so am I overreacting?

1178
00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1179
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:16,799
Speaker 2: It feels like you don't like either of them, and

1180
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:17,360
Speaker 2: that's fine.

1181
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:17,760
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1182
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:19,359
Speaker 2: Hey, it's John here, og host of the show.

1183
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,080
Speaker 4: We're gonna get back to these juicy stories. But here's

1184
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 4: a quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1185
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:26,720
Speaker 2: My brother in law uninvited my wife to the wedding,

1186
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:28,799
Speaker 2: so I stole her gift back.

1187
00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:30,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, if you don't want me at the wedding,

1188
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 3: I don't need to give you a gift, then right.

1189
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:36,480
Speaker 2: My wife, Lena crochets a lot and often gifts it

1190
00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:39,600
Speaker 2: to friends and family. When her second oldest brother got married,

1191
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:42,040
Speaker 2: she made the bride a shawl to wear over her

1192
00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 2: dress in the evening. The bride loved it, and ever

1193
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:47,800
Speaker 2: since Lena has made shawls for everyone in her family

1194
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:50,920
Speaker 2: getting married. By the way, this comes from wedding shawl

1195
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:52,640
Speaker 2: and if you want to spit your own stories, go

1196
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:56,520
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay storytime separate it. So now

1197
00:54:56,600 --> 00:55:00,040
Speaker 2: Lena's oldest brother, George is getting married again. Lena and

1198
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 2: It doesn't have a relationship with George, as he was

1199
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:04,839
Speaker 2: awful to her as a child, but if she has

1200
00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:07,799
Speaker 2: to see him then she is polite but distant with him.

1201
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:09,640
Speaker 2: She doesn't want to cut off the rest of her

1202
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:13,000
Speaker 2: family because of George. I work with George and while

1203
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:17,080
Speaker 2: we aren't friends, we are friendly at work. Lena encouraged this.

1204
00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:20,000
Speaker 2: When George got moved to my team, I was going

1205
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:23,759
Speaker 2: to request a transfer, not wanting to expose Lina to George,

1206
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:26,239
Speaker 2: as my team do a lot of get togethers with

1207
00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:30,240
Speaker 2: our significant others as it is a family wedding. Lena's

1208
00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:32,600
Speaker 2: mom asked her if she could crochet a shawl for

1209
00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:37,320
Speaker 2: George's fiancee, and Lena agreed. Oh.

1210
00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:38,920
Speaker 3: It was arranged that once.

1211
00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 2: It was finished, I would take it to work to

1212
00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:43,360
Speaker 2: give it to George so that Lena didn't have to

1213
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:46,440
Speaker 2: see him. That's I don't know if I would agree

1214
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:49,200
Speaker 2: to make a shawl if I really did not get

1215
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:51,359
Speaker 2: along with this person and I couldn't even give them

1216
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:51,960
Speaker 2: the present.

1217
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:54,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, like give some sort of credit.

1218
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:56,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I've.

1219
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:59,439
Speaker 3: Maybe her perspective is like, oh, like I'm doing this

1220
00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:01,960
Speaker 3: for this person so that like they can give this

1221
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:04,239
Speaker 3: as a gift or something like that. But yeah, this

1222
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:05,040
Speaker 3: be weird.

1223
00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:08,720
Speaker 2: Earlier this week, the shawl was completed, and I emailed

1224
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:10,479
Speaker 2: George at work to let him know that I would

1225
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:13,359
Speaker 2: bring it in today as the wedding is tomorrow. When

1226
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:15,560
Speaker 2: I got into work this morning, I gave George the

1227
00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:17,480
Speaker 2: shawl and let him know that Lena and I were

1228
00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:21,000
Speaker 2: looking forward to the wedding. Come lunchtime, Lena called me

1229
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:24,280
Speaker 2: to let me know that George's fiance had called her

1230
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:27,799
Speaker 2: and told her that she was no longer invited to

1231
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:30,719
Speaker 2: the wedding, but citing the place they're having the wedding,

1232
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:33,400
Speaker 2: and the reception at is too small for the number

1233
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:39,640
Speaker 2: they have coming, so they're having to make cutbacks. However, however,

1234
00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:44,279
Speaker 2: I was still invited to the wedding. Oh my gosh, crazy. Yeah, no,

1235
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:47,120
Speaker 2: you're not getting a shawl. No waiting a shawl. We're

1236
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:50,680
Speaker 2: saving that for someone else next wedding. That's ridiculous.

1237
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:55,000
Speaker 3: Sorry, like I don't, I'm sorry. My schedule is too

1238
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:56,920
Speaker 3: small to make this for you.

1239
00:56:57,080 --> 00:56:58,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, my shawl can't make it to the wedding either.

1240
00:56:59,120 --> 00:56:59,640
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1241
00:56:59,800 --> 00:57:02,760
Speaker 2: I was mad at this because they clearly only invited

1242
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:04,080
Speaker 2: Lena to get a shawl.

1243
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:06,280
Speaker 4: Oh, which to me is just rude.

1244
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:07,440
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1245
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:10,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, if they had asked Lena outright to make one,

1246
00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:13,560
Speaker 2: she probably would have done it because she loves to crochet.

1247
00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 2: On my way out of work, I noticed George wasn't

1248
00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:18,760
Speaker 2: at his desk, but the shawl.

1249
00:57:18,520 --> 00:57:21,760
Speaker 3: Was hmmm, perfect timing.

1250
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,320
Speaker 2: I was still mad that they had used Lena to

1251
00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:28,640
Speaker 2: get a shawl, and I just shoved it in my

1252
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:29,240
Speaker 2: work bag.

1253
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:29,640
Speaker 3: There you go.

1254
00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:32,600
Speaker 2: I left a note on his desk telling George since

1255
00:57:32,640 --> 00:57:34,919
Speaker 2: Lina was no longer invited the shaw and I would

1256
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:38,160
Speaker 2: no longer be attending either. Boom on my way home,

1257
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:40,640
Speaker 2: I told Lena what I had done and asked her

1258
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:42,880
Speaker 2: if she wanted to go out instead so as not

1259
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:46,080
Speaker 2: to waste having a sitter. Lina was upset that I

1260
00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:48,480
Speaker 2: had taken the shawl, as it was causing an uproar

1261
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:51,840
Speaker 2: in her family group chat where people were calling her petty.

1262
00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:54,400
Speaker 2: Because I took it back, Lina wants me to give

1263
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:57,439
Speaker 2: it back. I don't think I should. They don't deserve

1264
00:57:57,520 --> 00:58:00,880
Speaker 2: Lena's kindness. However, at the same time, I don't want

1265
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:03,800
Speaker 2: Lena to be upset with me over George and a shawl?

1266
00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:06,440
Speaker 2: Am I the a hole for taking back the shawl?

1267
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:11,280
Speaker 2: And little edit. I have messaged the group chat letting

1268
00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:13,560
Speaker 2: them know that I took it and if they should

1269
00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:15,400
Speaker 2: be pissed at anyone, then it should be me. But

1270
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:17,680
Speaker 2: I would also do it again because no one gets

1271
00:58:17,680 --> 00:58:20,760
Speaker 2: to be a wiener to Lena and there is an update.

1272
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:23,200
Speaker 3: What do you think I think you should talk to

1273
00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:25,560
Speaker 3: Lena so she thinks about this whole situation.

1274
00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:28,840
Speaker 2: See if she you know, I mean, she seems like

1275
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:31,320
Speaker 2: she wants him to give it back, and I think

1276
00:58:31,360 --> 00:58:32,120
Speaker 2: she made it.

1277
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:36,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, yeah, I don't think you're really like

1278
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:39,200
Speaker 3: I don't know if we got that perspective from Lena, right.

1279
00:58:39,120 --> 00:58:41,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, you talked to her and she said, can you

1280
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:43,240
Speaker 2: give it back? My whole family's getting mad at me.

1281
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:48,160
Speaker 3: Oh, I see, I got those names. Makes it okay? Well, yeah,

1282
00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:48,800
Speaker 3: I mean I.

1283
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:51,640
Speaker 2: Guess I think you gotta give it back just because

1284
00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:54,680
Speaker 2: you're you know, your partner said please do that, and

1285
00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:58,080
Speaker 2: also she made it and spend all this time. Yeah, However,

1286
00:58:58,320 --> 00:59:01,320
Speaker 2: you're not the a hole for taking it. Yeah, and

1287
00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:05,040
Speaker 2: you Yeah, I would do it again too. They suck

1288
00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:08,200
Speaker 2: and they don't deserve that. So everyone will be glad

1289
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:10,600
Speaker 2: to know that I have not given George back the shawl.

1290
00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:12,280
Speaker 3: Nice.

1291
00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:13,880
Speaker 2: I mean, part of the reason I haven't given it

1292
00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:16,560
Speaker 2: back is because he's on his honeymoon. I hope it

1293
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:19,960
Speaker 2: has rained for the two weeks, but even if he wasn't,

1294
00:59:20,040 --> 00:59:23,040
Speaker 2: I still wouldn't give it back. Later that evening, Lena

1295
00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:25,880
Speaker 2: apologized for being mad at me. She said that she

1296
00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:27,960
Speaker 2: should have never agreed to make the shawl in the

1297
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:30,960
Speaker 2: first place, and was grateful I had taken aback hereiod go.

1298
00:59:31,920 --> 00:59:34,200
Speaker 2: Lena and I had a long discussion about her family

1299
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:36,600
Speaker 2: and how they treat her. I told her that I

1300
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:38,840
Speaker 2: would always stand up for her when it comes to

1301
00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:42,280
Speaker 2: her family, because I will stand strong when she can't.

1302
00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:43,320
Speaker 3: Oh.

1303
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:45,920
Speaker 2: I asked her what she thought about going lower contact.

1304
00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:49,480
Speaker 2: We were already low contact with George, his now wife,

1305
00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:52,040
Speaker 2: and her mom. Lena said that she wanted to go

1306
00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:55,800
Speaker 2: no contact with George, his wife, her mom, and to

1307
00:59:55,840 --> 00:59:58,800
Speaker 2: go low contact with everyone else but her second oldest

1308
00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:01,440
Speaker 2: brother and his wife we'll call them Michael and Sarah.

1309
01:00:01,680 --> 01:00:03,760
Speaker 2: She said she wanted to do this because of how

1310
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:06,960
Speaker 2: toxic the group chat has become, which she has now

1311
01:00:07,040 --> 01:00:09,400
Speaker 2: left and has shown me that she has left and

1312
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:12,480
Speaker 2: deleted the chat. We have both blocked everyone but Michael

1313
01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:14,640
Speaker 2: and Sarah. I'm going to wait a couple of weeks

1314
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:17,520
Speaker 2: before I approached therapy for Lena again. I just want

1315
01:00:17,520 --> 01:00:19,680
Speaker 2: the dust to settle a bit, as I don't want

1316
01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:22,360
Speaker 2: her to feel pushed into anything. The story the wife

1317
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:26,439
Speaker 2: gave Lena about their not being enough space was bs.

1318
01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:29,600
Speaker 2: Michael confirmed that George had told them weeks ago that

1319
01:00:29,640 --> 01:00:32,960
Speaker 2: they were well under the numbers for their venue. It

1320
01:00:33,040 --> 01:00:36,880
Speaker 2: was just a crap attempt at a power move. Dang man, because.

1321
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:40,320
Speaker 3: It was also like like they uninvited her from the wedding,

1322
01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:43,040
Speaker 3: like right before the wedding. Yeah, hey, like she she

1323
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:47,880
Speaker 3: already had a sitter and like what, like why why

1324
01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:49,000
Speaker 3: why would you do that?

1325
01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:52,600
Speaker 2: They just suck, Yeah, they suck. I know some editors

1326
01:00:52,680 --> 01:00:55,080
Speaker 2: were concerned about my work life after I took the shawl.

1327
01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:57,520
Speaker 2: I spoke with my manager and told them that Lena

1328
01:00:57,560 --> 01:00:59,520
Speaker 2: had made a shawl for George's wife, but they had

1329
01:00:59,520 --> 01:01:02,800
Speaker 2: given a for uninviting her to the wedding the day

1330
01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:05,240
Speaker 2: before the wedding, and I took it back. When I

1331
01:01:05,280 --> 01:01:09,040
Speaker 2: told my manager this, he sighed heavily before telling me

1332
01:01:09,120 --> 01:01:12,520
Speaker 2: that he wished I hadn't taken the shawl because George

1333
01:01:12,560 --> 01:01:15,160
Speaker 2: could make things difficult for me, but that he would

1334
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:18,680
Speaker 2: have done exactly the same thing because George is a nightmare.

1335
01:01:19,440 --> 01:01:20,120
Speaker 3: Well.

1336
01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:21,920
Speaker 2: I told him that I'd like to move to another

1337
01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:24,000
Speaker 2: team because it wasn't good for Lena to have to

1338
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:25,840
Speaker 2: be around him. He told me to leave it with

1339
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:28,320
Speaker 2: him and he could see what he could do. I'd

1340
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:30,919
Speaker 2: have moved when George was first put on my team,

1341
01:01:30,960 --> 01:01:34,200
Speaker 2: but Lena encouraged me not to as she didn't want

1342
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:36,360
Speaker 2: me to rock the boat with her family. I heard

1343
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:38,120
Speaker 2: back on Monday that I will be getting moved to

1344
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:40,320
Speaker 2: another team at the end of the week. This other

1345
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:43,480
Speaker 2: team is desperate for someone. So when my manager reached

1346
01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:46,440
Speaker 2: out to other managers to see if anyone had an

1347
01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:50,280
Speaker 2: internal vacancy, this manager bit his arm off. The day

1348
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:53,440
Speaker 2: of the wedding, Michael called Lena and asked what our

1349
01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:54,320
Speaker 2: plans had been.

1350
01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:54,680
Speaker 3: For the day.

1351
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:57,680
Speaker 2: Michael knew that Lena wasn't invited to the wedding and

1352
01:01:57,840 --> 01:02:01,160
Speaker 2: rightly assumed I wouldn't go if she was welcome. Lena

1353
01:02:01,200 --> 01:02:02,680
Speaker 2: told them that we had planned to go out for

1354
01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:05,600
Speaker 2: dinner and drinks. Michael told her that sounded like a

1355
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:08,080
Speaker 2: plan and to text him where we were going for dinner.

1356
01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:08,720
Speaker 4: Nice.

1357
01:02:09,160 --> 01:02:10,160
Speaker 3: Nice.

1358
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:12,960
Speaker 2: Michael and Sarah had decided to skip the wedding after

1359
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:16,480
Speaker 2: seeing the meltdown of George, his wife, and their mom

1360
01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:20,040
Speaker 2: in the group chat. Apparently, they continued spouting abuse at

1361
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:23,840
Speaker 2: Lena even though she had left the group chat. My gosh,

1362
01:02:23,960 --> 01:02:26,840
Speaker 2: when the family turned on me and our children was

1363
01:02:26,880 --> 01:02:29,560
Speaker 2: when Michael and Sarah decided they weren't going to the

1364
01:02:29,560 --> 01:02:32,080
Speaker 2: wedding at all. They were just going to go to

1365
01:02:32,120 --> 01:02:35,720
Speaker 2: the ceremony. After Lena had been uninvited. They messaged George

1366
01:02:35,760 --> 01:02:37,680
Speaker 2: to tell them their flight had been delayed and they

1367
01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:40,760
Speaker 2: wouldn't be able to make it. Their flight wasn't delayed,

1368
01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:44,440
Speaker 2: it was just the excuse they used, and George never responded.

1369
01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:48,040
Speaker 2: Michael had seen George's abuse of Lena first hand. He

1370
01:02:48,080 --> 01:02:50,400
Speaker 2: had tried to protect Lena where he could, but there

1371
01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:52,880
Speaker 2: was only so much he could do as a child himself,

1372
01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:55,080
Speaker 2: and he didn't want to be on the receiving end

1373
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:58,240
Speaker 2: of George's temper either as an adult. He took the

1374
01:02:58,240 --> 01:03:00,560
Speaker 2: first chance he had to move away from his family

1375
01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:04,440
Speaker 2: while only maintaining contact with Lena. So we went out

1376
01:03:04,480 --> 01:03:07,720
Speaker 2: with Michael and Sarah, having a much better night than

1377
01:03:07,800 --> 01:03:09,760
Speaker 2: we would have done at the wedding. There were no

1378
01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:13,760
Speaker 2: snide commons, no belittling, nothing. Lena was happy as she

1379
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:15,880
Speaker 2: got to see Sarah, and that was what she was

1380
01:03:15,880 --> 01:03:19,760
Speaker 2: looking forward to. Lena being happy was all I wanted.

1381
01:03:20,120 --> 01:03:23,000
Speaker 2: It's all I ever want my family to be happy.

1382
01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:24,240
Speaker 3: Ah.

1383
01:03:24,480 --> 01:03:26,560
Speaker 2: Oh, he's just looking out for his wife.

1384
01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:29,080
Speaker 3: This is so cute, This is so sweet.

1385
01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:29,840
Speaker 2: I love this.

1386
01:03:30,160 --> 01:03:34,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm glad that that people understand that George is

1387
01:03:34,360 --> 01:03:35,840
Speaker 3: not a pleasant person.

1388
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:38,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not just you, like, Yeah, some other people

1389
01:03:38,760 --> 01:03:41,080
Speaker 2: recognize that he sucks, right, and.

1390
01:03:41,040 --> 01:03:44,080
Speaker 3: The boss recognizing that too is great important. Ye.

1391
01:03:44,640 --> 01:03:47,760
Speaker 2: Both Michael and Sarah's phones did keep going off all

1392
01:03:47,880 --> 01:03:50,880
Speaker 2: night as mother in law and George kept messaging them

1393
01:03:51,040 --> 01:03:54,800
Speaker 2: angry at their non attendance, especially after Michael posted a

1394
01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:57,080
Speaker 2: picture of the four of us together having drinks on

1395
01:03:57,120 --> 01:04:00,400
Speaker 2: Facebook with a caption about how he was choosing Lena

1396
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:03,800
Speaker 2: over George going forward because she doesn't use people to

1397
01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:06,440
Speaker 2: get what they want like George did over a crochet

1398
01:04:06,440 --> 01:04:09,600
Speaker 2: shawl Dang. He posted that on Facebook.

1399
01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:10,160
Speaker 3: Nice.

1400
01:04:10,720 --> 01:04:13,440
Speaker 2: Michael admitted to me later that he did this to

1401
01:04:13,600 --> 01:04:17,000
Speaker 2: anger George because he'd have a meltdown at the reception

1402
01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:19,720
Speaker 2: and then his in laws could see what a butt he.

1403
01:04:19,760 --> 01:04:24,280
Speaker 3: Actually yow, that's like Aod'm I get behind that scheme.

1404
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:27,240
Speaker 3: Usually I don't really like care for the schemes where

1405
01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:28,840
Speaker 3: it's just like, oh, I'm gonna do this so this

1406
01:04:28,880 --> 01:04:32,120
Speaker 3: person reacts. But that actually like it set him up

1407
01:04:32,120 --> 01:04:35,200
Speaker 3: perfectly for her for like, oh, yeah, now you're gonna

1408
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:37,480
Speaker 3: have to do this in front of everyone. They all

1409
01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:40,080
Speaker 3: understand and it worked, and it worked.

1410
01:04:40,400 --> 01:04:43,320
Speaker 2: Given the gleeful messages I got from Michael last week

1411
01:04:43,400 --> 01:04:45,800
Speaker 2: after he had heard back from a cousin who attended

1412
01:04:46,280 --> 01:04:49,960
Speaker 2: George had a complete meltdown. Lena knows about this post,

1413
01:04:50,280 --> 01:04:53,120
Speaker 2: but she's not comfortable with me posting pictures of her work.

1414
01:04:53,480 --> 01:04:56,480
Speaker 2: She considered unraveling the shawl, but she found it too

1415
01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:59,440
Speaker 2: difficult to undo all her hard work, which I understand.

1416
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:00,680
Speaker 3: It's the very.

1417
01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:03,960
Speaker 2: Reason I didn't unravel it myself and tell George it

1418
01:05:04,040 --> 01:05:07,040
Speaker 2: was an Ikea shawl. Well, all that and I didn't

1419
01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:09,600
Speaker 2: want to face it mad Lena, after talking with Sarah

1420
01:05:09,600 --> 01:05:11,600
Speaker 2: about what to do with it, she has decided that

1421
01:05:11,640 --> 01:05:13,920
Speaker 2: she's going to keep it, but she'll die it here

1422
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:16,200
Speaker 2: you go. Michael suggested that she wears it to the

1423
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:19,640
Speaker 2: family Christmas. We aren't going to see Lena's family at Christmas,

1424
01:05:19,680 --> 01:05:22,560
Speaker 2: so it won't be happening anyway. I think this is great.

1425
01:05:23,120 --> 01:05:24,720
Speaker 2: I'm very pleased about this.

1426
01:05:25,080 --> 01:05:27,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, you guys figured. You know, I've got no notes.

1427
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:29,959
Speaker 2: You got Michael and Sarah, and that's all you need.

1428
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:31,840
Speaker 2: Mikeel and Sarah and you guys against the world.

1429
01:05:31,880 --> 01:05:34,680
Speaker 3: You just have Michael Sarah, and that's all Michael Sarah

1430
01:05:34,760 --> 01:05:35,200
Speaker 3: you need.

1431
01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:38,000
Speaker 2: Michael and I are at the same level of pettiness

1432
01:05:38,120 --> 01:05:40,960
Speaker 2: as I had previously suggested. As some people commented on

1433
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:43,320
Speaker 2: my original post that I could wear it to work

1434
01:05:43,360 --> 01:05:44,400
Speaker 2: when George is back.

1435
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:45,720
Speaker 3: Nice.

1436
01:05:46,160 --> 01:05:48,040
Speaker 2: I didn't show Lena in many of the comments. She

1437
01:05:48,080 --> 01:05:50,480
Speaker 2: doesn't need to know that people are calling her a

1438
01:05:50,480 --> 01:05:53,439
Speaker 2: doormat or saying she needs to grow a spine. Those

1439
01:05:53,480 --> 01:05:56,560
Speaker 2: people clearly have an other spirit, completely broken by the

1440
01:05:56,560 --> 01:06:00,200
Speaker 2: people who are meant to love them unconditionally, or were

1441
01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:03,640
Speaker 2: completely cut out of the family events. When George graduated

1442
01:06:03,640 --> 01:06:06,280
Speaker 2: from UNI, Lena was left at home. She was eight

1443
01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:09,480
Speaker 2: years old and left home alone all day Christmas was

1444
01:06:09,520 --> 01:06:12,080
Speaker 2: spent mostly in her bedroom because her grandmother didn't want

1445
01:06:12,160 --> 01:06:16,240
Speaker 2: Lena around, as her presence would just upset George until

1446
01:06:16,280 --> 01:06:19,040
Speaker 2: she was fourteen, then she would sneak out and spend

1447
01:06:19,080 --> 01:06:21,280
Speaker 2: it with me and my family. Lena was just left

1448
01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:23,960
Speaker 2: out of everything. Her dad used to work away from

1449
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:26,080
Speaker 2: home a lot, so we had no idea what was

1450
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:28,960
Speaker 2: going on. You just assumed Lena liked her own space,

1451
01:06:29,520 --> 01:06:31,640
Speaker 2: not that she would just stay in her room because

1452
01:06:31,640 --> 01:06:34,320
Speaker 2: she was used to being neglected by her family and

1453
01:06:34,320 --> 01:06:35,880
Speaker 2: that's the end of that story.

1454
01:06:36,080 --> 01:06:40,400
Speaker 3: Wow, yikes. Yeah, I'm glad that Lena has kind of

1455
01:06:40,440 --> 01:06:43,480
Speaker 3: stood up to her family. Yeah, absolutely, and has decided

1456
01:06:43,720 --> 01:06:46,920
Speaker 3: that she doesn't need to contact these people anymore because

1457
01:06:46,960 --> 01:06:49,400
Speaker 3: that sounds like terrible things that they did to her.

1458
01:06:49,600 --> 01:06:52,600
Speaker 2: So yeah, and props so Pepe for like, you know,

1459
01:06:52,680 --> 01:06:54,160
Speaker 2: standing by her this whole time.

1460
01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:56,960
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, And that was so weird. I think I

1461
01:06:57,080 --> 01:07:00,480
Speaker 3: like forgot that they were married for some reason. I

1462
01:07:00,480 --> 01:07:04,040
Speaker 3: thought that op was like they were just friends at first.

1463
01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:09,240
Speaker 3: But yeah, the fact that Lina got uninvited and he

1464
01:07:09,360 --> 01:07:10,800
Speaker 3: was invited, yeah, Lena.

1465
01:07:11,120 --> 01:07:18,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, George's sister got uninvited in favor of his sister's husband.

1466
01:07:18,080 --> 01:07:22,880
Speaker 3: Right, like the own family is not invited yet her. Yeah,

1467
01:07:22,920 --> 01:07:24,880
Speaker 3: that's just strange, insane, strange, insane