WEBVTT - The Karol Markowicz Show: Being Picky with Katrina Trinko 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:11.240 Hi, and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:15.520 I'm back home after nearly three weeks on the road. 0:00:16.400 --> 0:00:20.520 I landed like two am Thursday morning, back from ten 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:24.040 days at Hillsdale and a week in Israel before that. 0:00:24.480 --> 0:00:27.280 I was home for one day in between, and my 0:00:27.360 --> 0:00:30.320 family also came to visit me at Hillsdale for a weekend. 0:00:30.560 --> 0:00:34.200 I had really missed everyone a lot. Obviously. My kids 0:00:34.240 --> 0:00:37.920 are fourteen, eleven, and eight, so in a lot of 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:41.320 ways they're self sufficient, but they still need me in 0:00:41.920 --> 0:00:45.320 so many other ways, and I love being needed. Obviously, 0:00:45.600 --> 0:00:49.680 my husband has been exceedingly understanding about what I've needed 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:52.559 to do in the last year plus really since my 0:00:52.640 --> 0:00:54.520 book came out last March, and. 0:00:54.520 --> 0:00:56.480 It was very nice to be back with him. 0:00:56.600 --> 0:00:58.720 He's just my favorite. 0:00:59.000 --> 0:01:01.440 But this isn't a month about how much I love 0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:04.480 my family, though I do, or how much I missed them, 0:01:04.720 --> 0:01:08.959 which I did. On Friday, I ran errands around my 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:12.760 community and I just drove around with a huge smile 0:01:12.840 --> 0:01:16.679 on my face. I was so so happy to be 0:01:16.760 --> 0:01:20.720 home in Florida. Mean, look, I loved New York when 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:21.280 I lived there. 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:21.760 I did. 0:01:22.040 --> 0:01:24.800 It was home in every way I grew up in Brooklyn, 0:01:24.920 --> 0:01:25.319 it was. 0:01:25.959 --> 0:01:26.880 Really home base. 0:01:27.760 --> 0:01:30.320 And even now when I was in Michigan, I'd say 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:32.520 to my husband, you know when I get back home 0:01:32.520 --> 0:01:35.440 to New York, and he'd say, we don't live there anymore. 0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:38.120 Or I saw that New York had flooding at the 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:40.920 airports the weekend that my family was coming to visit me, 0:01:41.080 --> 0:01:42.640 and I said to my husband. 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:46.000 Will your flights get out okay? And he was like, Uh, yeah, 0:01:46.080 --> 0:01:48.840 they'll get out fine. From Florida. New York is a 0:01:48.840 --> 0:01:53.640 hard habit to break, really, but being in Florida isn't 0:01:53.720 --> 0:01:58.520 all around just relaxer. Yes, the sunshine, the weather, the 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:03.680 happy people, all of it really helps, but it's really 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:07.760 still even two years in that I'm so grateful that 0:02:07.840 --> 0:02:11.320 we get to have a normal life here. I feel 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:14.880 like a genius every single day in so many different ways. 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:18.160 Like we left because of COVID, but there's so much 0:02:18.440 --> 0:02:20.960 that's going on now that I'm just so happy to 0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:23.679 not be in New York for We talk a lot 0:02:23.720 --> 0:02:26.680 about moving on this show because the last four years 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:29.520 have been this great migration in this country, as so 0:02:29.600 --> 0:02:32.919 many people move from blue states to red ones. Our 0:02:32.960 --> 0:02:36.200 move to Florida remains one of the absolute best things 0:02:36.280 --> 0:02:39.600 I've ever done. I'm still so grateful to be here, 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:42.919 so blessed that it was an option, and I don't 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:46.160 take for granted, not even for one second, how lucky 0:02:46.200 --> 0:02:48.720 we are to be in the free state of Florida. 0:02:48.840 --> 0:02:50.240 I loved New York. 0:02:50.360 --> 0:02:52.640 But did it ever give me a sense of peace 0:02:52.720 --> 0:02:55.240 and calm and security from the outside world. 0:02:56.000 --> 0:02:58.840 No. It gave me a lot, but not that. And 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:00.800 I know there are people listening who would say, yes, 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:03.080 New York makes me feel safe in a crazy world. 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:04.720 And that's fine, that's good. 0:03:05.000 --> 0:03:07.440 But if you live somewhere that does not give you 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:09.920 a sense of calm, that does not give you the 0:03:09.960 --> 0:03:13.280 security that you know you should feel at home, think 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:17.239 about leaving. It's hard, but I can't tell you how 0:03:17.280 --> 0:03:20.400 good it feels to be free. Coming up next and 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:27.320 interview with Katrina Trinko. Join us after the break. Welcome 0:03:27.360 --> 0:03:30.919 back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. My guest 0:03:30.919 --> 0:03:34.639 today is Kate Trinko, editor in chief of The Daily Signal. 0:03:34.840 --> 0:03:37.280 Hi, Kate, Hey, Carol, thanks for having me on. 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:41.080 It's so nice to see you. So I reached out 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:44.680 to you for this podcast. I think you're a fantastic writer. 0:03:44.760 --> 0:03:46.920 I've been reading you for years, but I reached out 0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:52.200 specifically because you had this piece in February called Dating 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:56.240 Crisis Fuels Marriage Crisis. And on this show we talk 0:03:56.280 --> 0:03:58.360 a lot about marriage, we talk a lot about dating, 0:03:59.520 --> 0:04:02.280 and you wrote some really interesting things in that piece 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:05.760 that I think resonated with a lot of people. I'm 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:08.480 going to read just one thing you wrote. As an 0:04:08.560 --> 0:04:11.680 unmarried woman in my thirties, I also realized there's no 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:15.080 quick fix to the situation, which is people not getting married, 0:04:15.520 --> 0:04:18.719 and that married Americans are often unaware of how bleak 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:22.520 the current dating landscape can be. Ultimately, if we're going 0:04:22.560 --> 0:04:25.000 to have more healthy marriages, we need to change our 0:04:25.080 --> 0:04:25.760 dating culture. 0:04:25.920 --> 0:04:26.640 Tell us about it. 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:28.000 What do we need to change? 0:04:28.320 --> 0:04:29.240 I want to get on it. 0:04:30.200 --> 0:04:33.440 Well, where do I start? No, I think some of 0:04:33.480 --> 0:04:36.480 it first. Well, let me be clear, sometimes singles are 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:38.880 a little too picky. I myself have been too picky, and. 0:04:39.160 --> 0:04:41.120 I don't think there's anything wrong with being too picky. 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:44.880 I don't know this is key about what, but this 0:04:45.000 --> 0:04:46.680 is one of my things, right, And I think, like, 0:04:46.880 --> 0:04:50.159 if you're going to partner with somebody for the rest 0:04:50.160 --> 0:04:50.839 of your life. 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:52.359 I'm picky is good. 0:04:52.520 --> 0:04:55.800 I don't know the being too picky is never one 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:58.839 of my things that I think single people are doing wrong, 0:04:59.040 --> 0:05:01.520 you know. I I think that being picky and being 0:05:01.600 --> 0:05:04.400 choosy and really you know, not. 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:08.400 Settling is good. So be picky, do it? 0:05:08.520 --> 0:05:11.040 You know? Well, let me give an example of what 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:15.560 I mean by my pickyness. I'm five nine. One time 0:05:15.600 --> 0:05:17.760 a guy who was five seven asked me out, who 0:05:17.880 --> 0:05:19.960 was local. We agreed on a lot of, you know, 0:05:20.080 --> 0:05:22.720 serious things. I wouldn't even go out on one day 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:25.320 with him. That's the sort of thing should I have explored. 0:05:25.440 --> 0:05:28.080 Could there be chemistry and one day? That's That's what 0:05:28.120 --> 0:05:31.000 I mean. I generally agree with you, though certainly no 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:33.120 one should go to the altar say I'm going to 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:35.119 be with you forever and be like, but I hate 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:36.400 this this and this about you? 0:05:36.560 --> 0:05:36.760 Right? 0:05:36.800 --> 0:05:39.520 Are settled for you? Like, that's not not where you 0:05:39.560 --> 0:05:39.919 want to be. 0:05:40.200 --> 0:05:44.480 Yeah, absolutely not. In terms of fixing the culture, I think, 0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:47.480 you know, I talked a lot not to put the 0:05:47.480 --> 0:05:50.120 pressure on married folks like you, But you know, if 0:05:50.200 --> 0:05:52.400 married people and I know you've talked about this on 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:55.680 your podcast, could set people up, have friends over, try 0:05:55.720 --> 0:05:58.240 to just stimulate meetings. I think that's one thing that 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:00.400 always helps. I know a lot of my married friends, 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:02.960 they have kids, they're busy, But even if it's something 0:06:03.040 --> 0:06:04.799 you do once a year, I think it's a great 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:08.560 thing to do. Especially you know, often wives no women friends. 0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:12.160 Husbands have male friends. You know, let's get them in 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:17.800 a room together, right. I also think encouraging people to 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:20.320 be good on dating apps. That might sound a little weird, 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:21.960 but I think one of the things on dating apps 0:06:22.000 --> 0:06:24.120 that's a real big problem is you're constantly going out 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:26.960 with people that you don't share any friends in common with. Well, 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:30.359 there's not you're not really worried about accountability. In the 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:32.919 same way, I think there's definitely folks on the apps 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:35.280 who treat people they meet on the apps in a 0:06:35.279 --> 0:06:37.320 way they wouldn't treat friends in real life if there 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:41.160 were consequences socially. So I think having a bit more 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:43.600 empathy saying, oh, if I wouldn't ghost a friend, I'm 0:06:43.640 --> 0:06:46.080 not going to ghost a date. That doesn't mean you 0:06:46.120 --> 0:06:48.120 have to tell someone you've been out with twice when 0:06:48.160 --> 0:06:50.960 they ask you out again, Like twenty reasons you don't 0:06:50.960 --> 0:06:53.280 ever want to see them again, but no, thank you, 0:06:55.040 --> 0:06:56.279 So that would be a good start. 0:06:56.760 --> 0:07:00.599 Well, are there differences between the dating apps? Are theyre 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:02.880 good ones or bad ones? Or are they all kind 0:07:02.920 --> 0:07:07.080 of not that great? You know? 0:07:07.160 --> 0:07:08.960 That is it depends on what you're looking for. I 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:10.400 would say in generally. 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:13.480 Like the commercials for like e harmony really get me. 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:15.480 Like I feel like, if I were. 0:07:15.320 --> 0:07:18.400 Single, e harmony seems like, you know, people are already 0:07:18.440 --> 0:07:22.360 get married, and you know, I think that that's sort 0:07:22.400 --> 0:07:25.520 of the. 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:24.800 The better path. 0:07:24.960 --> 0:07:27.440 I've Also, you know, there's the I think it's called 0:07:27.520 --> 0:07:31.040 rite dating, like there's for conservatives. And then a guy 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:33.120 who responds to a lot of my stuff on Twitter 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:36.840 never married dating, you know, website, website or app or 0:07:38.160 --> 0:07:41.280 are there you know, are there better apps out there 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:42.640 or not? 0:07:44.240 --> 0:07:47.040 I there's no one that I would say is like 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:49.440 it'll work for sure? 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:51.600 Oh yes, right, yes, yeah, no. 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:54.400 I also a lot of it is luck. It's it's 0:07:54.560 --> 0:07:57.760 you know, I I think a lot of married people 0:07:57.880 --> 0:08:01.440 pretend that they were like skillful in their quest to 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:03.800 get married and that's why it worked out for them. 0:08:03.800 --> 0:08:08.880 And I think the luck component is overlooked and if 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:13.160 single people knew that we that I understand that I 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:17.560 got lucky and our timing was right and all the 0:08:17.600 --> 0:08:21.280 different things that have to kind of work out. It's 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:23.880 not skill. It really is a lot of it is 0:08:23.960 --> 0:08:25.000 luck based, so. 0:08:25.520 --> 0:08:28.000 Great and I think so in my let's see, in 0:08:28.040 --> 0:08:31.200 my dating life, I have been on Tinder, bumble E Harmony, 0:08:31.320 --> 0:08:33.560 which did not work out for me, like the commercial show, 0:08:34.800 --> 0:08:36.760 and then being Catholic. I've also been on a site 0:08:36.760 --> 0:08:39.960 called Catholic Match. So my current boyfriend I met on 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:44.360 Catholic Match. But I also he's my first relationship from 0:08:44.360 --> 0:08:46.000 that site and I've been on and off of it 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:49.440 for fourteen fifteen years. So I think being who you 0:08:49.480 --> 0:08:52.960 are on the apps is really important. I really encourage 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:55.880 people it's better to get fewer matches and be who 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:59.040 you are. You know, I'm always like, hey, I'm conservative. 0:08:59.080 --> 0:09:03.160 Does that make you popular on DCPA? No, But someone 0:09:03.160 --> 0:09:05.079 has a problem with that. We were never going to 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:08.160 work exactly. I think a lot of it is what 0:09:08.200 --> 0:09:11.160 you make of it on a particular app, So your. 0:09:11.080 --> 0:09:14.600 Beat is not necessarily dating. What else do you write about? 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:18.320 Oh gosh, I write about all kinds of things. One 0:09:18.360 --> 0:09:20.120 of the things that I love about the daily signals 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:23.000 we can write about different cultural issues. So you know, 0:09:23.440 --> 0:09:26.280 the past few months, I read a book on polyamory, 0:09:26.360 --> 0:09:31.400 wrote about that, wrote Abigail Shreyer's great new book, so. 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:33.520 Good, my favorite thing right now. 0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:37.480 I'm telling everybody about it, Bad Therapy, Abigail Sreyer, amazing 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:38.240 must read. 0:09:38.640 --> 0:09:39.560 What did you think of it? 0:09:39.920 --> 0:09:42.480 I thought it was fantastic, And you know, there's so 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:47.280 many things in it that I thought, you know, I'm 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:50.160 in this world, right We're in this like politically conservative world. 0:09:50.200 --> 0:09:52.640 We think we're going to going to like stand up 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:54.880 for our kids in every situation, and we're going to 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:57.720 fight back on all these things. But even Abigail says 0:09:57.720 --> 0:10:00.640 she opens the book with an anecdote about her son 0:10:01.200 --> 0:10:03.120 having a stomach ache and they go to the doctor 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:06.439 and the doctor asks her to leave the room so 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:10.200 she could ask the son some questions about whether he's 0:10:10.240 --> 0:10:14.720 suicidal he has a stomach ache, And Abigail says herself, 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:17.080 says that she stood up like to leave, and then 0:10:17.120 --> 0:10:19.719 she was like, wait a minute, I don't leave the room. 0:10:19.920 --> 0:10:23.400 And things like that made me think like I also 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:25.679 maybe would for a second there be like, oh okay, 0:10:25.679 --> 0:10:27.319 I'll leave the room. And then I'm not leaving the 0:10:27.400 --> 0:10:30.360 room my kids, you know, eleven years old and has 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:32.800 a stomach ache or I think maybe twelve. 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:35.880 It just kind. 0:10:35.720 --> 0:10:40.600 Of the idea of standing up for your kids and 0:10:41.000 --> 0:10:45.360 protecting them from bad ideas is just such a big 0:10:45.400 --> 0:10:47.280 one throughout the book, and I loved it. Thought it 0:10:47.320 --> 0:10:49.600 was so well written and very well done. 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:50.280 What do you think? 0:10:51.360 --> 0:10:54.439 I completely agree. I thought that anecdote was really powerful 0:10:54.440 --> 0:10:56.280 and it struck me. I think, you know, when you 0:10:56.320 --> 0:10:58.160 and I were growing up, Carol, I don't remember a 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:01.439 doctor ever asking my mom or dad to leave and 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:05.120 like questioning me about my mental health. I don't remember. 0:11:05.280 --> 0:11:08.440 She Abigail Schreyer also had an anecdote in the book 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:11.559 about a fifth grade classroom where like the teacher asked 0:11:11.559 --> 0:11:13.800 them all to share one thing they were feeling really 0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:19.280 bad about, and the kids, Yeah, when kids started saying, 0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:21.520 he doesn't like I think his dad's new girlfriend. Another 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:24.760 kids started talking about her parents' divorce. Third kid had 0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:27.160 something else, and then suddenly half of these fifth graders 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:30.840 are crying. And I thought this was really interesting. I'm 0:11:31.120 --> 0:11:35.200 a big proponent of therapy of medication if necessary, I 0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:38.319 haven't given as much thought frankly to you know, childhood 0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:41.080 therapy and medication in those things. And I think what 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:44.120 she did was first and foremost, as you said, with 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:47.880 the doctor anecdote showed hey, this stuff may be happening 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:51.000 to your kids without them ever entering a therapist's office. 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:54.160 And now that was amazing. And then I think secondly 0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:58.120 she raised a lot of interesting questions about when is 0:11:58.200 --> 0:12:01.920 therapy appropriate parents part of their kids therapy. You know, 0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:04.280 what do you lose if you put a kid on medication? 0:12:05.040 --> 0:12:05.240 Right? 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:08.280 And I thought, oh, you know, it's it's good to 0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:09.719 see a skeptical examination. 0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:14.280 Yeah, there was another example in there where you know, 0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:18.880 the teacher calls her and says that her daughter, uh 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:21.959 watches the clock, you know, at the end of the day, 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:23.960 and therefore she has I think, I forget. 0:12:23.760 --> 0:12:26.000 If it was add or Adhd. 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:29.680 And Abigail's like or she's very organized and she's taking 0:12:29.679 --> 0:12:32.600 the bus for the first time without her without her brothers, 0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:35.360 and maybe she's just watching the clock to make sure 0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:37.719 she doesn't miss the bus, and like, why. 0:12:39.040 --> 0:12:39.480 Fix that? 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:42.520 Even if let's say that is some kind of sign 0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:45.679 of something. So what So we're all a little different, 0:12:45.760 --> 0:12:48.000 and we all have kind of our own problems, and 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:50.360 I'm pretty scattered. I wish I was a little more 0:12:50.440 --> 0:12:54.560 organized and watching the clock, I you know, why medicate 0:12:54.640 --> 0:12:54.880 for that? 0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:56.560 And just I loved it. 0:12:56.600 --> 0:13:01.360 I thought it was fantastic and and really made me 0:13:01.400 --> 0:13:04.240 think about the way we treat kids like adults. And 0:13:04.520 --> 0:13:07.040 whereas an adult can tell a therapist like that they're 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:10.680 on the wrong track, a kid really can't do that right. 0:13:10.960 --> 0:13:12.920 And that's that is she talked about it. I think 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:15.920 being a power and balance and that that really resonated 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:18.240 with me. And I also think, you know, I have 0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:21.880 a friend who is a child therapist, and I think 0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:24.559 there's a big difference between kids who don't have parents, 0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:29.520 whether they're in foster care or sometimes other difficult circumstances 0:13:29.520 --> 0:13:31.840 sort of being raised by you know, a smart sort 0:13:31.880 --> 0:13:36.080 of extended family. That's very different than a kid who 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:39.080 has you know, a good parent or two good parents 0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:42.280 at home. And I need to recognize when intervention is 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:45.440 appropriate and when they've got parents who know that looking 0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:47.439 at the clock is right their personality. 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:50.319 Yeah, what would you be doing if you weren't a writer? 0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:55.520 Uh? Well, twist, I would still be a writer. I 0:13:55.559 --> 0:13:56.760 would love to be a novelist. 0:13:57.920 --> 0:13:58.120 One. 0:13:58.960 --> 0:14:00.000 Do you think you have a novelist? 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:04.320 I do, But the problem is to say, thirty six, 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:07.240 I'm still a little thirteen at heart, and I'm like, oh, 0:14:07.400 --> 0:14:08.800 is this I don't know. Do you want to put 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:11.120 this level of emotion out in the world. I'm not sure. 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:14.400 Yes, put it out there in the world. See what happens. 0:14:14.520 --> 0:14:17.480 Absolutely, I think if you've got a book in new 0:14:17.480 --> 0:14:18.679 that you need to write. 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:19.240 Like, write it. 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:21.160 I don't think that I think should be stopping you. 0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:25.320 All right, I love it. I go home and write it. Now. 0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:27.280 Do you feel like you've made it? 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:31.080 So? You know, it's funny you mentioned this question in 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:33.520 the email about the podcast and you have put me 0:14:33.760 --> 0:14:37.080 on like a deep dive about my life. Was like 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:38.400 New Year's all over? 0:14:38.760 --> 0:14:39.280 You want to do? 0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:43.040 You know? So we all love the Carol Marko which 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:45.920 show put you on a deep dive about your life. 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:48.920 No, but I feel like it was a great question 0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:52.640 and it made me think in the one sense, yeah, 0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:54.840 I do think I've made it because I get to 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:57.480 do stuff like, you know, write articles about you know, 0:14:57.920 --> 0:15:01.800 Schreyer's new book about dating that you know, there's a 0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:04.320 concept called the flow that I don't know who to 0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:06.360 give it credit for. But it's when you don't really 0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:10.120 even notice, you don't notice what you're doing. You're just 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:12.800 doing it and you're so absorbed by it. And that's 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:15.280 something I get when I write. So I'm very grateful 0:15:15.280 --> 0:15:17.280 that I get paid to do something that gives me 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:20.440 that sense of contentment and really that out of my 0:15:20.520 --> 0:15:23.920 head sense. But I would say, you know, I try 0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:27.880 to be someone, not always successfully, who's open to growth, 0:15:28.280 --> 0:15:30.920 and I think I was very rigid, especially in my 0:15:30.960 --> 0:15:33.640 early twenties when we actually first met, and I was like, Oh, 0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:35.480 you want to be on Fox News, you want to 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:36.880 write a best selling book, you want to do this, 0:15:37.000 --> 0:15:38.640 you want to do that. And as I'm a lot older, 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:42.640 I'm like, but what brings you joy? Right, Yeah, that's 0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:43.520 really rewarding. 0:15:45.120 --> 0:15:46.680 So you write about cultural a lot. 0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:48.960 Do you have something that you think is like our 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:51.240 biggest cultural or societal problem? 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:53.880 I would say. 0:15:55.200 --> 0:15:59.160 Maybe the loss of hope and meaning I'm really struck 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:01.640 a lot, and I haven't written too much about these 0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:04.760 issues because I'm trying to think of what I have 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:07.120 to add to the conversation. But you know, when we 0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:10.080 see the deaths of despair increasing, when we see drug 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:14.360 addiction going up, when we see people who are homeless, 0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:17.240 and you know, often that's a mixture of Sometimes, of 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:21.120 course it's economic, but often is we know it's a 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:26.400 mixture of mental health and drug addiction issues. And even 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:28.360 to a certain extent, when I see how much time 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:30.640 people spend on their phones and I mean, I'm guilty. 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:32.960 I don't like the weekly report from my iPhone it 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:37.680 would be. But it's like there's a sense of, yeah, 0:16:37.720 --> 0:16:40.040 do we have meaning? Do we have hope? Are we 0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:44.680 just trying to distract ourselves? Or are we living fulfilling lives? 0:16:44.840 --> 0:16:47.480 And I feel like a lot of our problems have 0:16:47.520 --> 0:16:51.040 a more spiritual route where people are just genuinely not 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:52.280 hopeful and fulfilled. 0:16:53.000 --> 0:16:56.160 Are you hopeful we could solve that or is it solvable? 0:16:58.160 --> 0:16:59.360 Give us the big answers here. 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:03.360 Kakes well as a politics writer. The tricky thing is, 0:17:03.360 --> 0:17:06.159 I'm not sure that politics can solve that. I'm not 0:17:06.200 --> 0:17:08.560 sure that that, you know, President Biden can in the 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:11.640 State of the Union announce some policy. I think there's 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:14.080 stuff on the policy level we can do to nudge 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:18.800 people towards certain things, But ultimately, I think, you know, 0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:22.520 this is where maybe church's synagogues have a bigger role 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:26.840 to play. Something actually that I keep meeting to write on, 0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:28.879 but that I was really struck about when I went 0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:32.280 to Israel last year was how Israel has the highest 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:35.479 birth rate in the Western world, right, And you know, 0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:38.439 I talked to people there and like, what's going on 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:41.080 with that? Why is that? And they were like, because 0:17:41.440 --> 0:17:45.000 you know, we believe life is so important, and you know, 0:17:45.119 --> 0:17:47.480 we think as a Jewish people, we've been through so much, 0:17:47.520 --> 0:17:51.640 it's so important to celebrate life and celebrate children. And 0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:55.359 I was like, where is this in the rest of 0:17:55.400 --> 0:17:59.199 the West. Instead, we have people you know, my age, 0:17:59.240 --> 0:18:01.920 and you know, like, oh, can I have children. I 0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:03.800 don't know about climate change, I don't know that a 0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:06.840 kindle being a mother, there's so much fear. Yeah, and 0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:10.200 so yeah, my hope is we can get some more 0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:13.159 of that Israeli attitude and just in general, get in 0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:17.880 touch more spirituality with God and feel empowered to have 0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:21.920 kids right in life, to not spend your life distracted. 0:18:22.200 --> 0:18:24.160 We're going to take a quick break and be right 0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:25.680 back on the Carol Marcowitch Show. 0:18:29.240 --> 0:18:33.080 It's interesting because I used to think that Israel's high 0:18:33.160 --> 0:18:36.840 birth rate was partially related to the fact, or maybe 0:18:36.960 --> 0:18:40.600 more than partially, but they have a very kid centric 0:18:40.720 --> 0:18:43.359 kind of society, Like you don't tuck the kids away 0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:44.400 somewhere else, like the kids. 0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:45.160 Yeah, kids are. 0:18:45.080 --> 0:18:47.919 Noisy, they're you know, loud, they're in your face, and 0:18:47.960 --> 0:18:50.679 they're they're here, and that we're not We're not hiding 0:18:50.680 --> 0:18:54.880 them away. But I've been to European countries. I think 0:18:54.920 --> 0:18:57.800 Spain is very kid focused like that, but they have 0:18:57.880 --> 0:19:00.679 a very low birth rate, and it's like that doesn't 0:19:00.720 --> 0:19:01.639 really explain it. 0:19:01.720 --> 0:19:03.760 So there's no right way or wrong way. 0:19:03.640 --> 0:19:07.280 Kind of to be about kids and to have that outcome. 0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:12.399 I'm curious why Israel has that and they have it 0:19:12.440 --> 0:19:14.679 across I don't know. I'm pretty sure about this, but 0:19:15.080 --> 0:19:17.479 across the religious groups. It's not just Jews, it's not 0:19:17.520 --> 0:19:20.280 just Muslims. Also, the Christians and Israel have more kids, 0:19:20.320 --> 0:19:24.520 and there has to be something that they're doing societally. 0:19:24.680 --> 0:19:25.879 But I just I can't. 0:19:26.240 --> 0:19:29.399 Every time I think I've got it, I find like 0:19:29.440 --> 0:19:32.200 an exception to that. So I'm not so sure. 0:19:32.760 --> 0:19:35.320 Well, I will say you are right about Spain. And 0:19:35.400 --> 0:19:37.680 my sister actually is married to a Stanyard and lives 0:19:37.720 --> 0:19:40.600 in the Madrid area with her little girl, and everywhere 0:19:40.640 --> 0:19:42.960 they go for a little girl who's about eleven months 0:19:43.000 --> 0:19:46.840 old now like center of attention everyone. But my sister 0:19:46.880 --> 0:19:50.520