Speaker 1: This is Conversations with Olivia Jade and I heart radio podcast.
Speaker 1: What's Up, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of Conversations.
Speaker 1: I'm very excited for today's episode because she's been on
Speaker 1: the podcast before. Her name is Sharie Healy. I'm sure
Speaker 1: if you listen to that episode that she was on,
Speaker 1: you will know exactly who I'm talking about, because she
Speaker 1: is an incredible woman and she calls herself a possibilitarian,
Speaker 1: where she just believes basically anything is possible. But she
Speaker 1: also backs up a lot of her beliefs with science
Speaker 1: and factual things and also things that I've worked for
Speaker 1: her and her clients, and she just gives us a
Speaker 1: lot of knowledge and I think hope. So with that
Speaker 1: all being said, please welcome Sharie. Hello, Sharie, how are you?
Speaker 1: I'm so good. It's great to be back with you.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy you're back on the podcast. You're by
Speaker 1: far one of my favorite guests to have because I
Speaker 1: feel like we have such great conversation and then I
Speaker 1: also get to walk away from the podcast and feel
Speaker 1: a little bit better mentally. So I'm so excited. Um.
Speaker 1: But for those you've been on the podcast before, if
Speaker 1: you guys haven't listened to that episode, I highly encourage it.
Speaker 1: But if you haven't, you probably also don't know who
Speaker 1: I'm talking to today. So will you give them a
Speaker 1: little bit of background as to who you are. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my name is Shri Healy and I call myself a possibilitarian,
Speaker 1: which is another word for being a Board certified life
Speaker 1: and leadership coach. And my goal really simply in life
Speaker 1: why I'm here on the planet is to make sure
Speaker 1: that everybody has the time of their lives being here.
Speaker 1: And how would you say you do that? I do
Speaker 1: it through all kinds of ways. I really focus in
Speaker 1: on helping people who want to make a difference in
Speaker 1: the world. Those seem to be my peeps, want to
Speaker 1: leave an impact in some way, do that and enjoy
Speaker 1: the ride. So I think joy is at the center
Speaker 1: of everything that I do. That when we can really
Speaker 1: answer these questions in life that bring us joy, Who
Speaker 1: am I, what am I here to do, and who
Speaker 1: am I doing it with, then we can really live
Speaker 1: the sweet life and go for our dreams. And I
Speaker 1: do that really through individuals you know who are like you,
Speaker 1: who want to cause some positive impact in the world,
Speaker 1: and organizations because I'm really interested in really finding a
Speaker 1: better way to do what we're here to do in life.
Speaker 1: We spend ninety hours at our jobs, and right now
Speaker 1: people are not doing well coming back to work. So
Speaker 1: I'm working with organizations to help them really do what
Speaker 1: they're here to do at the highest levels better. What
Speaker 1: would you tell somebody? Because I relate to like the
Speaker 1: feeling of being lost a little bit sometimes, and I'm
Speaker 1: curious if someone were to come to you and say, well,
Speaker 1: I don't know who I am, and I don't know
Speaker 1: what brings me joy, and I don't know how to
Speaker 1: be helpful. What's something you would tell them? Oh, it's
Speaker 1: my favorite topic because I think I spent my whole
Speaker 1: life since I was a tiny kid, Like my farthest
Speaker 1: back memory was laying in bed at like three years old,
Speaker 1: trying to answer those questions. Right. My parents like sent
Speaker 1: me to the priests at the church to try to
Speaker 1: figure this stuff out. And I've spent my whole life
Speaker 1: trying to answer that. So I've I've talked to all
Speaker 1: the great stages and scholars and philosophers and read all
Speaker 1: the books, and so I like to shortcut the process
Speaker 1: for people, and I think we've overcomplicated it. We overthink
Speaker 1: it to the mp degree, and it has a lot
Speaker 1: of us feel lost and stuck right now, especially right now.
Speaker 1: So there's a really cool process that I love to
Speaker 1: take people through, which is asking some really provocative questions
Speaker 1: that get at your truth. And we could do some
Speaker 1: of that, you and me. You know. Yeah, it's easier
Speaker 1: than we think. And I think there's like doorways to
Speaker 1: this that are right, you know, at the end of
Speaker 1: our nose that we're too close to ourselves to see.
Speaker 1: And so to have the reflection from someone else, like
Speaker 1: a coach or somebody who loves you, you know, can
Speaker 1: really remind us of those essential things of what we're
Speaker 1: here to do and be so that we're not lost.
Speaker 1: And I'll demystify the whole thing before we start by saying,
Speaker 1: I think in all of my searching and all of
Speaker 1: the thousands of people that I've worked with in my career,
Speaker 1: I think that we have a shared universal purpose, every
Speaker 1: single person who takes a body. And I've tested this
Speaker 1: with young people, with this new generation that gives me
Speaker 1: so much hope for the world of which you are
Speaker 1: a part, and I've tested it with all kinds of
Speaker 1: leaders and people in positions of power, and no one
Speaker 1: can argue it that at the bottom of the day,
Speaker 1: we are all here for the same two reasons, to
Speaker 1: experience love and joy. You want to be happy, We
Speaker 1: want to be loved. I've read a lot of like
Speaker 1: self help books, i would say, in the last few months,
Speaker 1: especially since the last time we've talked, and a lot
Speaker 1: of them have like a common theme, which is I
Speaker 1: would say, like you are your human experience, like you
Speaker 1: are built, and you are made of love and light,
Speaker 1: and you are like I mean, some of them are
Speaker 1: really spiritual and saying stuff of like you are God
Speaker 1: or whatever that higher power is, Like that's like a
Speaker 1: part of you. Do you do you believe in this
Speaker 1: type of thing? And is that something you like incorporate
Speaker 1: into your practice because also I've seen in these books
Speaker 1: a lot of authors talk about how my generation specifically
Speaker 1: and kind of these newer generations we don't practice religion
Speaker 1: as much, and and that kind of not that that's
Speaker 1: a bad thing, but it does like when you're practicing
Speaker 1: religion and you have like something to look towards, that
Speaker 1: comfortability being like, Okay, there is a higher power taking
Speaker 1: care of me. So much of us don't that. And
Speaker 1: I'm not super religious either, so I often think I'm like,
Speaker 1: do I need to go do something like that and
Speaker 1: like insert myself in a church and be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: somebody of a higher power has got me, because I
Speaker 1: do feel like sometimes you just hit a point where
Speaker 1: you're like, okay, what the like, how does this get better? Oh? Woman?
Speaker 1: We could talk about this for days and days and
Speaker 1: days and days for the rest of our days. And
Speaker 1: this has been one of my most interesting questions in life,
Speaker 1: that very question. You know, who am I? And is
Speaker 1: there a higher power? What is this whole world all about?
Speaker 1: And this is my understanding. So anyone who's listening can
Speaker 1: just try this on. I think I've always been taught
Speaker 1: don't take anything on blind faith. You know, test it
Speaker 1: with your own body, See if it gives you the chills,
Speaker 1: see if it feels right and it resonates with your
Speaker 1: own knowing. So I've studied all of it. I was
Speaker 1: raised Catholic, um I did not agree with a lot
Speaker 1: of things I was taught in that religion, and that
Speaker 1: had me sort of moved beyond it. I think it
Speaker 1: gave me an incredible spiritual foundation. And I think there's
Speaker 1: so many people that find exactly what they need in religion.
Speaker 1: So religion is there for that purpose, you know, to
Speaker 1: create community and ritual around connecting to something that I found.
Speaker 1: All religions land on His love. So anything that's here
Speaker 1: to explore love, I'm about, you know. I think that
Speaker 1: that's that's where all, like all the theology studies I've done,
Speaker 1: say that all these traditions are really in search of
Speaker 1: the same thing. Whether or not they remind you that
Speaker 1: you are love is the question for me, as are
Speaker 1: they all wildly empowering. I didn't like that some of
Speaker 1: them told me that I needed an intermediary two, some
Speaker 1: higher understanding or some divine source or some power out there,
Speaker 1: that I needed to go through someone else to get
Speaker 1: that because something around me was inherently wrong or less than.
Speaker 1: I don't believe that, And I think you can be
Speaker 1: spirit told religious or not. You could be completely atheistic.
Speaker 1: And the truth of it is, you don't need Olivia
Speaker 1: to go to a church to get what you want.
Speaker 1: You could, you could explore it. But what I think
Speaker 1: is most ascensile is for each one of us to
Speaker 1: know that we were put on this planet for a
Speaker 1: reason that your body, your being was perfect when it arrived.
Speaker 1: It's deeply encoded with gifts and wisdom and unique things.
Speaker 1: Like in indigenous traditions they teach that you have an
Speaker 1: original medicine that only you can give and that if
Speaker 1: not shared, is lost to the world forever. And when
Speaker 1: I heard that, I was like, what a goddamn tragedy
Speaker 1: that would be if we all died with our music
Speaker 1: still in us, Like there's something that only Olivia Jade
Speaker 1: can do here and what I know, Well, I want
Speaker 1: to show you a visual but we could maybe we
Speaker 1: could talk about it and everybody can kind of visualize it,
Speaker 1: because this is how I make it really simple. I please,
Speaker 1: I need it, yeah, and it'll take the pressure off.
Speaker 1: So the what is okay if I recognize that something
Speaker 1: about me is here for a reason, that I am
Speaker 1: uniquely empowered to do something on this planet, and if
Speaker 1: that is just simply walk around the planet lit up
Speaker 1: and having the time of your life, like rocking, going
Speaker 1: and doing all the things that only you want to do,
Speaker 1: and your give off is joy, You're doing a great
Speaker 1: service on the planet, you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 1: that's how I want to just go if at the
Speaker 1: very bottom, imagine a triangle. The bottom of the triangles
Speaker 1: are universal shared purpose. We are all no matter what
Speaker 1: color our skin, how we identify where we are from
Speaker 1: here to experience love and joy. And I would save freedom,
Speaker 1: the freedom to experience love and joy. And so we
Speaker 1: can find that we are more comment more more similar
Speaker 1: and have more things in common than we are different
Speaker 1: at that level. But then we go up the triangle
Speaker 1: and the next leve well, I think is this original
Speaker 1: medicine or essence I would call it, Like in a
Speaker 1: lot of my work, I'm trying to find what is
Speaker 1: your essence that only you can be used for. It's
Speaker 1: the greatest career strategy, Like right now, I mean, we
Speaker 1: could really go in and sort of figure out what
Speaker 1: your essence is, but I think you're living it doing
Speaker 1: this podcast. In a lot of ways, you're in your truth,
Speaker 1: in your humanity, on your journey where you are giving
Speaker 1: that to the world. And so that's the unique gift.
Speaker 1: And I'll just cut to minus. Celebration like a party
Speaker 1: on legs and I always have them. I want to
Speaker 1: hang a string of lights on everything. And for a
Speaker 1: long time I was put down for it, I'm blond,
Speaker 1: I'd be called naive, you know, silly, like calm down, lady,
Speaker 1: because I'm really excited to be alive. Doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: every day I have is good. But ultimately that's my
Speaker 1: purpose is to help people enjoy their lives. That's why
Speaker 1: I say enjoy the ride, right. No one ever got
Speaker 1: in the water to serve to have a bad time,
Speaker 1: And that's like my metaphor for life is we're here
Speaker 1: to have a good time. Yes, it's gonna be hard,
Speaker 1: being an Earth school is really harder than ever I
Speaker 1: think right now, But ultimately we're all here to experience
Speaker 1: the joy of being alive. And so that's the second level,
Speaker 1: and then we get up to so we've got universal
Speaker 1: shared purpose, original medicine or essence, and then you've got
Speaker 1: your higher purpose. So what your unique higher purpose would
Speaker 1: be is very wide. You could do ten million different
Speaker 1: jobs on the planet and still be fulfilling your highest purpose.
Speaker 1: So my purpose is to help people make the world
Speaker 1: a better place and enjoy the right. I could do
Speaker 1: that by being a UPS driver. My UPS driver is
Speaker 1: literally making the world a better place. Every time he
Speaker 1: comes down the street, he's barreling with like music at
Speaker 1: volume eleven, having the time of life, you know, and
Speaker 1: he's he's contagious, he's causing great vibes in the world.
Speaker 1: So I could do it in a million different way.
Speaker 1: Is but I've chosen to be this possibilitarian force for
Speaker 1: good helping other people who want to do good as
Speaker 1: a coach right now and may change someday, you know,
Speaker 1: but I'm now cool with who I am and what
Speaker 1: I'm here to do right And then I choose community
Speaker 1: who I'm doing it with great other people who want
Speaker 1: to cause impact, you know, incredible human beings who want
Speaker 1: to read all the self help books like me, you know,
Speaker 1: and people who are fun who want to enjoy the
Speaker 1: ride and have a great And then I can walk
Speaker 1: around like I'm clear about my personal brand and what
Speaker 1: I'm here to do right. So I don't feel lost
Speaker 1: right now on some days though I do because I'm like,
Speaker 1: who am I supposed to work with? Next? Is this
Speaker 1: still as much as I could do? I should have
Speaker 1: a podcast like Olivia. I'm still holding back myself, you know,
Speaker 1: things like that's relatable to me because when you said
Speaker 1: you're when I when you said like back like your
Speaker 1: thing the podcast, like back, I'm The first thought I
Speaker 1: had was Okay, I see what she's saying. But what
Speaker 1: if I feel like, yeah, this happened to happen. I
Speaker 1: have a podcast. I like doing it. That's cool, But like,
Speaker 1: what if I don't see it as like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is like this is helping somebody else or that, Like
Speaker 1: I've never thought about it that way. I've never thought
Speaker 1: about it like this is my purpose, this is my journey,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So I'm just like the
Speaker 1: ups man. He probably doesn't think about when he's blasting
Speaker 1: music that he's like creating good vibrations in the world.
Speaker 1: So I'm just it just I get I get what
Speaker 1: you're saying, and I want to get to the point
Speaker 1: where I'm like, have your brain where that's what I
Speaker 1: truly believe. But I just feel like for so many people,
Speaker 1: including myself, it's it's hard to get to that. I
Speaker 1: think it's a decision you have to make, right. It's
Speaker 1: an awareness. Like all of my work kind of it
Speaker 1: falls into three areas. We're working on self awareness, well being,
Speaker 1: and connection. I think these are the three things that
Speaker 1: would have us really be like having the great life. Right.
Speaker 1: So if your self awareness gets to a place where
Speaker 1: you go, you know what, for right now on my journey,
Speaker 1: I am doing something that is on purpose. You know
Speaker 1: then that's just a choice and a mindset you have.
Speaker 1: Is it the thing you're gonna do forever? Probably not.
Speaker 1: We could have a million different careers at this point
Speaker 1: in human history, and we should, and so let's do
Speaker 1: this today. Let's let's ask a question that I'd love
Speaker 1: for everybody to answer. I don't think I asked this
Speaker 1: of you the last time we were together. If I
Speaker 1: put you on the top of a mountain and I
Speaker 1: gave you this big megaphone like your microphone right now,
Speaker 1: or you could reach the whole world and tell them
Speaker 1: one thing, what would you tell them first thing that
Speaker 1: comes to your mind. First thing that came to mind
Speaker 1: was the words it's going to be okay. But I
Speaker 1: don't know if I necessarily believe that of my like
Speaker 1: I think that expression like easier said than done run
Speaker 1: so true and everything I like preach and talk about
Speaker 1: and like want to believe because I feel like at
Speaker 1: one point I would have said, like everything will be okay,
Speaker 1: everything will work out, And that's like the message I'd
Speaker 1: like to tell people because I do believe that for others.
Speaker 1: Why am I so hard on myself? Then? Okay, get this.
Speaker 1: My mountaintop message is bring it. The world needs you.
Speaker 1: That's my tagline. If anybody goes to Shari Hille dot com,
Speaker 1: they will see that that is what I'm here for.
Speaker 1: Do you think I'm fully bringing it every day? And no,
Speaker 1: I am not on the TikTok not. I haven't wadden
Speaker 1: my book yet. It's not something that I've nailed. But
Speaker 1: it's what I'm here for, which ultimately is my is
Speaker 1: related to my you know, it's my essence, my higher purpose.
Speaker 1: I'm giving what I'm also here to learn and I
Speaker 1: think you are too. So that question really gets at
Speaker 1: it starts to get at the essence for each of us,
Speaker 1: what your original medicine might be. So think about it.
Speaker 1: What's the flavor of everything's going to be okay, it's
Speaker 1: all going to be okay? Is it reassurance? Is it encouragement? Like?
Speaker 1: What what's the word that you're ultimately giving. I think
Speaker 1: that's a tough question. I think for me, that's the
Speaker 1: first thing that came to mind because it's something I
Speaker 1: constantly try to remind myself especially. I think it's interesting
Speaker 1: for me because over the last few years, obviously my
Speaker 1: mindset and a lot has changed because of stuff that
Speaker 1: has happened. But I feel like right now, like three
Speaker 1: years later, like not when I was going through all
Speaker 1: the and like figuring it out in the moment, it's
Speaker 1: like after and maybe that's just like normal and your
Speaker 1: body just needs time to process and then like you
Speaker 1: have to work through that type of stuff later in life.
Speaker 1: But I just feel like right now I'm harder on
Speaker 1: myself than I've ever been, and I'm more just at
Speaker 1: a point where I'm like, well, like I'm telling myself
Speaker 1: like it's gonna be okay and things are going to
Speaker 1: work out, because I truly want to believe that, But
Speaker 1: then there's such a big part of me that's also like,
Speaker 1: well is that true? Like our thing is going to
Speaker 1: be okay? And are you doing the right thing? And
Speaker 1: and like I don't know. It's so conflicting, Yeah it is,
Speaker 1: but it's exactly what everybody needs to hear, don't you
Speaker 1: think right now at this moment in the world, there
Speaker 1: is more uncertainty than ever to be someone on the
Speaker 1: planet who could just be a voice for you know
Speaker 1: what we're going to get through this to be okay.
Speaker 1: That's what every single one of us needs to hear
Speaker 1: right now now, whether or not you believe it, this
Speaker 1: is where we can go back to, like the spirituality
Speaker 1: you're you're giving a message of faith and trust, safety
Speaker 1: and hope. You know that ultimately is going to be shaky.
Speaker 1: Some days We're all going to get shaky. Things happen
Speaker 1: to us. It's like my metaphor for life of surfing.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you go out there, the waves are great, sometimes
Speaker 1: they don't come at all. Sometimes they take you down.
Speaker 1: It's not it's not that I think the nature of
Speaker 1: the universe is uncertainty. But we need certainty too. We
Speaker 1: need both and and you're a message of something to
Speaker 1: hold onto. You know that ultimately, if we can believe
Speaker 1: that everything is going to be okay on any given day,
Speaker 1: it allows us to just think of the domino effect
Speaker 1: of it. If I say, in this moment, I'm going
Speaker 1: to believe that the world is conspiring for me, that
Speaker 1: there is a good force out there that is for me,
Speaker 1: and everything has been okay. Like, look at what you've
Speaker 1: been through. You've survived some things, right, are you okay,
Speaker 1: you have evidence that everything does rocking. Being a human,
Speaker 1: you know that some this teaching that I love is
Speaker 1: at a deep level of our being. We are always okay,
Speaker 1: deeply okay, you know. So if you just play with
Speaker 1: that for a moment, you say today, I'm just going
Speaker 1: to run with it, all kinds of good things come
Speaker 1: from it. Your nervous system stays calm, you're probably a
Speaker 1: little bit more self compassionate. You maybe open to your
Speaker 1: proofrontal cortex. You can do some higher thinking. Your heart
Speaker 1: might be a little bit more open, and all of
Speaker 1: that puts you into a higher frequency. You know, we
Speaker 1: could talk quantum physics now and go super scientific. You
Speaker 1: are electricity. So if you allow for yourself to just
Speaker 1: rest in that, then you become a magnet. There's proof
Speaker 1: in quantum physics you become an electromagnetic field that is
Speaker 1: more powerful than if you're in fear. I've said it
Speaker 1: to be more fear is the cheapest seat in the house, right,
Speaker 1: So if you choose something like believe for faith or trust,
Speaker 1: your frequency gets higher and you're open and you become
Speaker 1: a magnet for good things. And I'm sure you can
Speaker 1: remember times in your life when you magnetize good things
Speaker 1: when synchronicities and beautiful things come at you and you're like,
Speaker 1: I did nothing for that, you know, because you were
Speaker 1: open and you're trusting. That's so interesting. It's a choice,
Speaker 1: you know, how would you tell somebody that's seeing you
Speaker 1: or like asking for information on like well, how do
Speaker 1: I how Like let's say, because I think it sounds like, okay,
Speaker 1: I can be open, I'll trust the world, but how
Speaker 1: how how do you do that? Like? Are there physical
Speaker 1: steps you can take? Is it manifesting and journaling and
Speaker 1: saying this is what I want my life? Is it
Speaker 1: genuinely just sitting there every day and believing that, like
Speaker 1: there is something good coming and that you do deserve
Speaker 1: x y and z um. I Also, I hear a
Speaker 1: lot of people like you were saying earlier, just talking
Speaker 1: about awareness and being conscious, Like, I think that's a
Speaker 1: huge thing. A lot of self help books have preached
Speaker 1: and taught me a little bit. I'm just curious as
Speaker 1: to what the what would you say the root of
Speaker 1: it is? Okay, I'm just obsessed with taking all the
Speaker 1: esoteric concepts that I've studied my whole life and making
Speaker 1: them really practical. There's two sort of hacks for this
Speaker 1: exactly how you do it. One is called doing and
Speaker 1: one is called being. Because we it's like you breathe,
Speaker 1: you exhale, you inhale. You can't just do one. And
Speaker 1: I think our culture is obsessed with doing. You know,
Speaker 1: what do I do? What's my checklist? How do I
Speaker 1: do this? Where what you're asking for is a little
Speaker 1: bit more, How do I be this? And both open
Speaker 1: the doorways. So think of a little cycle like you
Speaker 1: can think of four quadrants. And so this is the
Speaker 1: visual that I'll hand out to everybody. Is one way
Speaker 1: to do it. To go into that field is to believe.
Speaker 1: Now a lot of people don't believe right now, so
Speaker 1: that's fine. But if you did believe enough in something,
Speaker 1: say I believe that I'm living my purpose, you know,
Speaker 1: and that I want to know my purpose, then it
Speaker 1: would have you tap in to Olivia to to the
Speaker 1: depth of your potential and and maybe your courage, your bravery.
Speaker 1: Two Three take action, So believe, tap in, take action.
Speaker 1: And then when you take any kind of action, like
Speaker 1: you show up to do your podcast every day, you
Speaker 1: send an email You've not been you know, courageous enough
Speaker 1: to send you make a call. Anything action wise gets results,
Speaker 1: and things can't stay the same anymore. And so if
Speaker 1: you didn't even start with belief, all of a sudden
Speaker 1: you've got these results, You've got evidence, things have changed,
Speaker 1: doors have opened, all of a sudden, possibilities are here.
Speaker 1: And so then you believe more in yourself. You you
Speaker 1: are essentially putting belief in yourself. When you ask, do
Speaker 1: I need to believe in a god? I yet you could,
Speaker 1: but you could just also place your belief in yourself.
Speaker 1: I see, my spiritual belief is that you are God,
Speaker 1: like the books you've been reading. But you could also
Speaker 1: to say, your giant electromagnetic field on the planet for
Speaker 1: some reason, and scientifically, I could argue that's really important
Speaker 1: and very special. And so you see, it's believe, tap in,
Speaker 1: take action, get results. When you don't believe, you just
Speaker 1: take action. That's how you do it. You you show
Speaker 1: up to things, you call, you make the emails, you
Speaker 1: do things differently, you take a new route to work,
Speaker 1: You take action, and new things come. So that's one
Speaker 1: way to start getting evidence and one way to start
Speaker 1: believing in your day and the fact that you are
Speaker 1: a powerful being. So the second though, is the more esoteric,
Speaker 1: and I think what you're getting at which brings us
Speaker 1: so much needed reassurance. If your essence that I'm getting
Speaker 1: at is this loving message of everything is going to
Speaker 1: be okay, it's going to require that we do this
Speaker 1: being thing, and that starts with trust, and then trust
Speaker 1: allows us to surrender the through things that people don't
Speaker 1: know how to do so much right now, you know,
Speaker 1: render to what you know and trust in what like
Speaker 1: people don't even have heroes anymore? Who do I trust?
Speaker 1: Where do that? But if you can? And we'll talk
Speaker 1: about where and how. Trust leads to surrender, which then
Speaker 1: leads to being just a state of non doing, a
Speaker 1: state of being which then gives us receive where you
Speaker 1: can receive all the things that you're looking for. You're
Speaker 1: saying you're lost. What happens to me when I do this?
Speaker 1: Let's say I trust that I'm going to get through
Speaker 1: this and everything is going to be okay. So what
Speaker 1: I do is I surrender my to do list. I
Speaker 1: don't I don't work today, I don't do the things
Speaker 1: that I know I should do. I go into surrenders.
Speaker 1: So I go to the beach. I be by the ocean,
Speaker 1: and then I get every single time downloads intuitive hits messages.
Speaker 1: Maybe I've got a journal and I'm just open and
Speaker 1: I get all the answers because I'm still, for a minute,
Speaker 1: we're not still enough in our world right now, or
Speaker 1: if we're still we're freaking out, we're overthinking, right We're
Speaker 1: not open to just receiving this. This surrender says, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know. It's the most humble and
Speaker 1: brave thing to say, like what you're saying right now,
Speaker 1: I'm lost. I don't know. That actually opens you up
Speaker 1: to being able to receive guidance from you could call
Speaker 1: it from your deepest self, from your intuitive knowing, or
Speaker 1: from higher powers. I don't care where you think it's
Speaker 1: coming from, but it does open you up. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think there's something to be said to because when I
Speaker 1: often think about like when I do kind of I
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm intentionally surrendering or presently kind of
Speaker 1: like knowing that that's what I'm doing. But when I
Speaker 1: do think to myself and you hear those little voices
Speaker 1: like deep down talking to you about certain things, I
Speaker 1: hear two of them, and I'm curious about this I
Speaker 1: don't know if this is just a weird meeting or
Speaker 1: if this is something a lot of people deal with.
Speaker 1: I hear one that's way louder and sounds like way
Speaker 1: more intense, and it's kind of like the anxious negative
Speaker 1: one talking like the what if, the the you don't
Speaker 1: know what you're talking about, the what if this person
Speaker 1: thinks this? If you do this, will you lose this person?
Speaker 1: And then there's like the other voice that's like really
Speaker 1: deep down inside. But I would say it's kind of
Speaker 1: like your gut or your like intuition that I often
Speaker 1: like just ignore. And it could be with anything. It
Speaker 1: could be with work, it could be with a personal relationship,
Speaker 1: it could be with a guy, it could be with
Speaker 1: a best friend, being like, oh, I have this gut
Speaker 1: that they're this way, and then the other voices like
Speaker 1: push all your needs aside or anything, and like you don't.
Speaker 1: It's like, I think it's a self worth thing. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm making sense as to what this is,
Speaker 1: but I'm curious if you have any experience hearing about
Speaker 1: this or dealing with it yourself, or if I'm maybe insane.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Beauty, You're gonna help so many people
Speaker 1: right now by talking about this, because it's something that
Speaker 1: I think most people are afraid to talk about or
Speaker 1: recognize because secretly we all think we're crazy. And so
Speaker 1: this is going to just level that right now. There's
Speaker 1: a thing called parts theory or internal family systems if
Speaker 1: we wanted to just you know, credit the source here
Speaker 1: that has us understand And this is part of the
Speaker 1: self awareness work that I'm always working on with people,
Speaker 1: is you are made up of countless parts and voices,
Speaker 1: and we can just laugh about it right now. I
Speaker 1: think about who you are when you're hungry, are triggered
Speaker 1: by your partner, who you are when you're just being
Speaker 1: like a daughter, or when you're in your lover, or
Speaker 1: when you're in your boss lady and your boss girl
Speaker 1: at work. Like we've got all these different resources inside
Speaker 1: of us. And then what you nailed that's very wise
Speaker 1: is we have a wound that we've all come in with,
Speaker 1: you know, that sort of that I won't be enough,
Speaker 1: I won't be loved, something's wrong with me. Everybody has that.
Speaker 1: And the crazy news here, I've always thought that I
Speaker 1: could heal it. You don't even know how many self
Speaker 1: help books and works, and it's the gateway to everything.
Speaker 1: It's actually like the doorway to you being the happiest,
Speaker 1: most self expressed self. It's something that we could talk
Speaker 1: a whole another many weeks on holding that wound in
Speaker 1: you and loving it and being like, yeah, this is
Speaker 1: who I am. And I think you do a good
Speaker 1: job of that already, because you're so honest and humble
Speaker 1: in every one of your podcasts, you know, just saying
Speaker 1: like I might be insane, or this is me. You
Speaker 1: know that that wounded voice, though, is the one that
Speaker 1: I can't even just say it's the wounded. But there's
Speaker 1: a part of all of us that's here for our safety,
Speaker 1: primarily for our safety. But she's usually about eight years
Speaker 1: old or he anyone's got a voice that's really young.
Speaker 1: That's the what if, Oh my god, no, this is dangerous.
Speaker 1: That's a few voice that will keep you small if
Speaker 1: you listen only to that. And it's not too low
Speaker 1: a voice though for most yes, because guess what, we're
Speaker 1: in constant survival mode out here. You know, if you
Speaker 1: pay attention to the news at all, you're in constant
Speaker 1: survival mode. And the fear is predominant because we have
Speaker 1: not practiced enough or have enough guidance. Think about school
Speaker 1: or however you were raised, did you get tools and
Speaker 1: guidance to listen to and be told about that Wise
Speaker 1: wanted you, your high self, your true self, the gut,
Speaker 1: that intuition, however you want to refer to it. That's
Speaker 1: the voice that's here to run your show. But you
Speaker 1: have to actively put it in charge and give it
Speaker 1: space and time to listen to that one over the
Speaker 1: one that's firing all the time. And there's a process
Speaker 1: we could go through if we want to do it
Speaker 1: to like work that at a deep level. If not,
Speaker 1: it takes very little time to understand how to work
Speaker 1: with this and how to identify it. But you you
Speaker 1: are giving everyone a giant gift right now to recognize
Speaker 1: that it's normal. Yeah, because I often wonder when I
Speaker 1: hear because it I also do believe if you really
Speaker 1: think about something I've been trying to practice recently is
Speaker 1: journaling and like trying to because I do believe in
Speaker 1: anything like negative or any bad emotion that you're feeling,
Speaker 1: you have to bring it to the surface and then
Speaker 1: take the part of it that's going to benefit you
Speaker 1: and teach you something and then try and peacefully kind
Speaker 1: of leave the other half of it in the past
Speaker 1: and understand that like that happened and you can move forward.
Speaker 1: Easier said than done yet again, but I do feel
Speaker 1: like when you listen when you're silent, and you listen
Speaker 1: to that little voice, and like you really focus on
Speaker 1: the more quiet one, it's the one that's like your
Speaker 1: truer self. Absolutely yeah, And I feel like it gets
Speaker 1: really lost because of me, be like societal needs or
Speaker 1: like beliefs, or if you're trying to impress your mom
Speaker 1: or your dad or a boyfriend or a girlfriend or
Speaker 1: whatever it is, Um you kind of listen to that
Speaker 1: more anxious, nervous one. But I do believe like if
Speaker 1: you really were to sit there and write out all
Speaker 1: the things that bother you and get some closure with
Speaker 1: it or figure it out, when you sit there so
Speaker 1: so intently and like focus on it, it does bring
Speaker 1: some sort of like relief. Yeah, do you have any
Speaker 1: like practices that you would suggest? I know, like a
Speaker 1: lot of people say journaling, but is there something else
Speaker 1: that ties into that? Everybody? Not everybody wants to journal, right,
Speaker 1: and it's not there for everyone, So there's all. There's
Speaker 1: always like a thousand different ways to get at what
Speaker 1: we need to and that's just one of them. But
Speaker 1: try this on. Let's have everybody do this so you
Speaker 1: can close your eyes or not, but if it's helpful
Speaker 1: sometimes to close your eyes to tune into if you
Speaker 1: were to tell me what that little voice looks like
Speaker 1: as a person, it's a little being inside of you.
Speaker 1: It's like your younger self. H Okay, what's probably like
Speaker 1: Probably like a little pink dress and no shoes, probably
Speaker 1: playing with dolls in my head, like just not really
Speaker 1: thought or care in the world, just doing like the
Speaker 1: things that make you happy, which is why I admire
Speaker 1: kids so much, because they have the wonderful, wonderful luxury
Speaker 1: of not overthinking things and just doing things with joy.
Speaker 1: But I also think that's why you see so many
Speaker 1: kids like like, I know that a lot of people
Speaker 1: are born with anxiety and depression and whatever it may be,
Speaker 1: but so many kids you don't see it, Like I
Speaker 1: don't think it's like situational like I think you you
Speaker 1: live so freely, and that's why I always want to
Speaker 1: do so want to hear that little voice. I imagine
Speaker 1: it in my kids self, because I'm like, I want
Speaker 1: to get back to that like free spirited. You know. See,
Speaker 1: this is so helpful because if we all could see
Speaker 1: what that voice looks like and give it its personality
Speaker 1: and even a name, like did you have a nickname
Speaker 1: when you were little? Twinkie? Oh? Because my stomach was
Speaker 1: so big that it looks like I was a twinkie
Speaker 1: that was filled. But okay, so every time you hear
Speaker 1: that voice, the practice is this, TWINKIEK what's going on
Speaker 1: for you? You know it's a little It's just like
Speaker 1: working out. I always say this. We can work out
Speaker 1: our bodies. We can know exactly how to exercise our muscles,
Speaker 1: but we don't exercise our brain. And you want to
Speaker 1: talk to your brain. She's coming up, or maybe she
Speaker 1: lives in a different part of you. She might live
Speaker 1: somewhere like in your in your belly, or somewhere else.
Speaker 1: But it's helpful to identify wear and then talk to her.
Speaker 1: She is here. We don't even have to go through
Speaker 1: the whole process. We can know she's here because she's
Speaker 1: scared for you and she wants you to be safe.
Speaker 1: But if we were to talk to her and say, hey, Twinkie,
Speaker 1: do you think you're being successful making Olivia feel safe? Like, no,
Speaker 1: freaking out all the time. Freaking somebody out doesn't make
Speaker 1: them feel safe, saying what if? What if? What if?
Speaker 1: Worst case scenario? Oh my God is going to put
Speaker 1: you in fear, and that's actually dangerous. You're never gonna
Speaker 1: be your highest self when you're in fear. Yes, I
Speaker 1: love that you're never going to be your highest self
Speaker 1: when you're in fear. I want everybody listening to take
Speaker 1: something away from that because that's so true and it
Speaker 1: resonates so much with me. Why is it that almost
Speaker 1: living in that state of fear or anxiety is like
Speaker 1: more comfortable. Oh yeah, you're contagious. First of all, fear
Speaker 1: is contagious. You know that everybody around me is scared,
Speaker 1: so I should be aired too. We are wired for this,
Speaker 1: we're wired for survival. So fear and adrenaline is really
Speaker 1: only supposed to come up in us when we're being
Speaker 1: chased by a tiger, but modern day life has us
Speaker 1: in it all the time. Social media did not help
Speaker 1: us in this regard. You know, well, it's around us everywhere,
Speaker 1: so you have this moment. And this is also the
Speaker 1: practice like you keep saying, you know, like I'm working
Speaker 1: on it. Easier said than done, but that's we're practicing
Speaker 1: for the rest of life, you know. It's Earth School.
Speaker 1: It's like, how do we get better and better at this?
Speaker 1: When fear hits, it's an impulse that's chemical and it
Speaker 1: causes adrenaline, right that has you go into the back
Speaker 1: of the brand, into the amygdala, and it's all about fight, flight, freezer, fond.
Speaker 1: At that point, you've only got four choices, which are
Speaker 1: pretty slim choices. So if you can catch it, and
Speaker 1: this is the practice going Twinky. You love Twinkie. She's
Speaker 1: all about joy. You just want to have her like
Speaker 1: Mama's good. Go play with your dolls, or let's go
Speaker 1: do something that brings joy, which is the antidote to fear.
Speaker 1: In fact, like gratitude is the antidote to fear, you know,
Speaker 1: So if you can do something in that moment that
Speaker 1: soothes her, or even like let's go to super scientific
Speaker 1: polyvagel theory, how do you calm your own nervous system?
Speaker 1: What is soothing? What would bring you joy? Like if
Speaker 1: you were soothing your daughter, you soothe that little girl,
Speaker 1: like we're good and you get really good at this.
Speaker 1: It can be like super fast, and then you immediately
Speaker 1: pull up who's the wise self, true self? And if
Speaker 1: you can see her too, if you know what she
Speaker 1: looks like. I had a client actually pull a picture
Speaker 1: off the web, like to have this next door, to
Speaker 1: get to know that self. Because we don't spend a
Speaker 1: lot of time with her. Then ask her say, I
Speaker 1: don't know, we just got scared. What do I need?
Speaker 1: What would make me happy? Let her guide you, and
Speaker 1: she'll come from the most wise, prefrontal cortex, heart centered
Speaker 1: place in you, which will never steer you wrong. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So it's kind of like self parenting. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: it's like getting loving yourself. It's all self compassion. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's definitely like reparenting the little child. People do that work,
Speaker 1: you know, where you create a different relationship with that
Speaker 1: in her little one, but also loving yourself enough to say,
Speaker 1: like you know. Liz Gilbert talked about this recently. She
Speaker 1: was like, I found myself in a really unsafe position
Speaker 1: with somebody where my heart was saying to me, her
Speaker 1: true self was saying, get me out of here. Maybe
Speaker 1: that was also her little girl, but it was a
Speaker 1: deep you know request of herself to say get me
Speaker 1: out of here, and she said, I'll get us out
Speaker 1: of here, and I'll never put us in a situation
Speaker 1: like this again. That's the high self talking. That's like,
Speaker 1: I will take care of me and make yourself wrong
Speaker 1: for talking to myself the way I do. You know,
Speaker 1: just recognize the voice and then take care of yourself.
Speaker 1: I love that. Is there anything else you would say
Speaker 1: before we wrap this up that we haven't covered that
Speaker 1: you think is like crucial or something that somebody leaving
Speaker 1: this episode can take away, because I think there are
Speaker 1: so many good things in here that have not only
Speaker 1: helped me, but will help so many listeners. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think you know what. It's just it's to build on
Speaker 1: your message, Olivia. I think at the at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, where I place my trust is that
Speaker 1: we're all here for a reason. We are. You know,
Speaker 1: there's a great man, Dr Zach Bush, who says, if
Speaker 1: you're alive at this moment in human history, it's for
Speaker 1: a really big reason. I love to think he did
Speaker 1: not come back for this kind of a show for
Speaker 1: no reason. You know, everything is crazy right now, and
Speaker 1: I feel like we need a new story from somebody
Speaker 1: about what is going on? Are we in the apocalypse?
Speaker 1: Is this the aquarian age? Like? What the heck? And
Speaker 1: I think if we can all decide on just that
Speaker 1: we're here for a reason and it will all become
Speaker 1: a parent exactly when it needs to be. And if
Speaker 1: we could just hold hands with good people, you know,
Speaker 1: like we are not here to do this alone. I
Speaker 1: think the most important thing right now is community, trust
Speaker 1: the process and do it together and and have a
Speaker 1: good time, like you are entitled still to joy. And
Speaker 1: even though there's wildness happening out there in the news,
Speaker 1: you probably feel like I don't know what I can
Speaker 1: do to solve all the problems. Start here, just start
Speaker 1: inside and start really loving on yourself and taking care
Speaker 1: of you and doing some of the things we talked
Speaker 1: about today. And you are a giant blessing for the
Speaker 1: rest of the world. Well, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: coming on again. I'm sure this episode again people will
Speaker 1: love and we'll have you back again because these are
Speaker 1: just my favorite things to talk about. And I could
Speaker 1: say here for hours. I'm so fascinated by everything surrounding
Speaker 1: this um so thank you so much. I can't wait
Speaker 1: to implement some of these tools you've taught me today
Speaker 1: into my daily life, I think will be really helpful.
Speaker 1: And I think everything truly happens for a reason, because
Speaker 1: I think that I'm I'm at a point right now
Speaker 1: where I needed this conversation and to hear this, and
Speaker 1: I'm sure so many others as well. So thank you
Speaker 1: so much for coming on, thank you for having met.
Speaker 1: We'll say what my teacher always said, and the conversation
Speaker 1: will continue. Conversation will continue. Thank you so much. Dr
Speaker 1: Jeri