Speaker 1: Yeah, I eyepatch perhaps the pirate Oh wait, okay wait,
Speaker 1: I just want to say this out loud. Okay, very
Speaker 1: excited about this episode, so I just want to say
Speaker 1: this out loud to you, Lamark. Yes, our next episode
Speaker 1: that we're going to do is the finale. It's Cruise, okay,
Speaker 1: mm hmm. I will be up in Canada mm hmmm
Speaker 1: when we record that episode. And I have this idea
Speaker 1: because it's the season three finale, right, and I remember
Speaker 1: shooting that on the Queen Mary. Queen Mary, Yeah, being
Speaker 1: stuck on that big, a haunted, creepy boat, and I
Speaker 1: thought for Cruise when we do the podcast, and don't
Speaker 1: I know what you're gonna say, so just like, just
Speaker 1: try to not destroy me right now, Okay, just try.
Speaker 2: To be kind.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say the words and you're gonna start. I
Speaker 1: will do the podcast from my boat. Stop. I see,
Speaker 1: you can't help yourself. And you can do it from
Speaker 1: like a flamingo floating in your pool, and we can
Speaker 1: just do the podcast on water and record Cruise because
Speaker 1: Cruise was one of the craziest, made no sense, insane,
Speaker 1: ridiculous New Girl episodes ever to record. And I feel
Speaker 1: like our podcast should reflect it when we record. Now
Speaker 1: you can make fun of me for having a.
Speaker 2: Boat, Hannah. Are you hearing yourself right now? The elitism
Speaker 2: you you just said, I'm going to record the podcast
Speaker 2: from my boat. Hannah. Do you know how hard it
Speaker 2: is to get a boat? First of all, let's talk
Speaker 2: about a boat and how much how much the maintenance
Speaker 2: is in order to keep a boat. You know what
Speaker 2: I mean. People don't even own boat. They charter these
Speaker 2: boats because it's billionaires don't even own a lot of
Speaker 2: these boats because they because they go. It's a waste
Speaker 2: of money. Hannah. You have so much money that you
Speaker 2: are leaving one home to go to another home and
Speaker 2: then go record from your boat in another country. I
Speaker 2: just want you to sit with this in this moment,
Speaker 2: and shame on you for all those years that I
Speaker 2: that I harassed Zoe about having a private jet. I mean,
Speaker 2: she doesn't and you are sitting here thinking, Oh, I
Speaker 2: have an even worse investment. It's a boat, and you
Speaker 2: never said about it.
Speaker 1: It's a worse investment. Well, because I know who I'd
Speaker 1: be talking to if I told you leave me and
Speaker 1: my little boat alone. Here's the thing, here's the tip
Speaker 1: of it. You're gonna sit there and you're gonna record
Speaker 1: that podcast me from your flamingo floating in your pool,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna see me on a kayak.
Speaker 2: I got a pool, but I ain't got no flamingo floating.
Speaker 1: So that's my pitch for how we record the cruise
Speaker 1: because that episode even wants but recording is stressing me out.
Speaker 2: Hannah, your WiFi is already bad enough.
Speaker 1: This is true. This is true. I can't cop to
Speaker 1: how good the podcast will be.
Speaker 2: Although I did just get asked. I did just get
Speaker 2: asked if I wanted to be on UH and I
Speaker 2: can't make it to be on an episode of a
Speaker 2: show that I hadn't seen yet called Below Deck? What oh?
Speaker 2: If you want to do it?
Speaker 1: The morn you got asked to be on below Deck?
Speaker 2: Yes, they said, I'm going to pass out. Can you
Speaker 2: do it instead of me? I'll do it two days
Speaker 2: in UH Where are they going to be the Caribbean?
Speaker 2: Two days in April?
Speaker 1: They they will destroy you. That's the point of this show.
Speaker 2: What do you mean destroy you?
Speaker 1: They'll like it's fun, you get to go with your
Speaker 1: friends and whatever, but they kind of that's the fun
Speaker 1: of it is. They kind of gonna tear you down, Yeah,
Speaker 1: a little bit, like that's if.
Speaker 3: They tried.
Speaker 2: Testicles out. What you're gonna say, Oh, that's so fun though, Yeah,
Speaker 2: but if you want to do it, Hannah invitation.
Speaker 1: I don't want to do it because I watched the
Speaker 1: show and I'm too sensitive to put myself out there
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Let's lets jump into this episode, shall we. The
Speaker 2: episode is three twenty two Dance Dance.
Speaker 1: I remember this episode.
Speaker 2: Oh, such a good one, such a funny.
Speaker 1: One, such a funny one.
Speaker 2: Now, in this episode, just calls on the troops to
Speaker 2: help out with chaperoning her school dance. As you can imagine,
Speaker 2: this goes horribly, resulting in Nick getting a buzz off
Speaker 2: a deadly soda concoction, Schmidt challenging a student to a
Speaker 2: foot race, and Winston being flocked by a bunch of
Speaker 2: teenage girls, leaving Coach and c C to pick up
Speaker 2: the pieces when the dances in Jeopardy Love Me Not
Speaker 2: Him Fastball directed by Trent O'Donnell, Bara mc adaman, and
Speaker 2: Ryan Coe, two of the greats. Two of the greats.
Speaker 2: Trent's also one of the greats. Whenever I see Trent's
Speaker 2: name on it. When he's directing, I always know that
Speaker 2: I will have an easy time shooting. I know he's
Speaker 2: he knows your strengths, your weaknesses. He's not going to
Speaker 2: push you to do stuff that you can't do or
Speaker 2: it's going to make you uncomfortable. And he always it
Speaker 2: makes you more comfortable than you start to stuff that
Speaker 2: you probably didn't think you you know, we're capable of doing.
Speaker 2: So whenever I see his name on something, I go, huh,
Speaker 2: this is gonna be easy week.
Speaker 1: He's the greatest. He's the greatest. There's a reason why
Speaker 1: he is basically, you know, like a cast member a
Speaker 1: New Girl. He's like such a central figure in the
Speaker 1: New Girl family.
Speaker 2: He's the best.
Speaker 1: So another great episode and I think they probably gave
Speaker 1: us one to him because it was like a trickier one.
Speaker 1: Wasn't in the loft, It wasn't the usual stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it had so many little moving parts to it, and yeah,
Speaker 1: of course he's it's a great episode.
Speaker 2: Good job, Trent, Great job Trent.
Speaker 1: So we're on the heels of a breakup, right jessin
Speaker 1: Nika broken up. It's over and it's out. Everybody knows,
Speaker 1: but life goes on, and work goes on.
Speaker 2: That the al is how many times they break up?
Speaker 2: A few? So stupid. I love when she unrolls the
Speaker 2: banner for the school dance at the top of the thing,
Speaker 2: when you guys are sitting down the top of the episode,
Speaker 2: and it's a lot of evers. Love is forever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
Speaker 2: and there are twelve evers, and it's very clear that
Speaker 2: we are in a show about relationships. Here we go again,
Speaker 2: Here we go again. Shocker. They broke up and she's
Speaker 2: trying to deal with it, and she wants to have this.
Speaker 2: She wants to have this school dance. It's very very
Speaker 2: important to her, you know, she wants the students to
Speaker 2: have an incredible time. And in that moment, Coach Winston
Speaker 2: and Schmidt they walk into the living room, make picks
Speaker 2: Jess up and he calls.
Speaker 1: Her this hug. Are we gonna talk about it? What's happening?
Speaker 1: Why did she goes so limp because.
Speaker 2: She doesn't want to be touched in that moment and
Speaker 2: she wasn't expecting a hug. So she's just like, you're
Speaker 2: gonna do what you're gonna do.
Speaker 1: I guess she does the toddler flop and.
Speaker 2: Which it's like, uh, he's got number two locked and loaded,
Speaker 2: hard orsoft. Such a strange line, Such a strange line.
Speaker 1: This next scene in the makeshift sauna where they're having
Speaker 1: a Schmitz was so funny to me and caught me
Speaker 1: off guard because I did not remember this ever being
Speaker 1: on our show. Sexual Tension tweeting Schmitt and Nick. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: oh in your bathroom, sweating it out together.
Speaker 2: Just sweating it out Nick. You know, Nick says he
Speaker 2: misses goofing around with Jess. They've come up with a
Speaker 2: new rule where they can't be in the room alone
Speaker 2: together unless it's with Winston because he naturally takes the
Speaker 2: sexual tension out of a room. You know, I take
Speaker 2: a lot of this personal. I do. I take a
Speaker 2: lot of this personal, which is why and there is
Speaker 2: the writer's fault. So what I did was I made
Speaker 2: it my life's mission, and I've completed it to sleep
Speaker 2: with every new girl writer. How's that sexual you guys?
Speaker 1: I mean, Berkeley told me you were one of the best.
Speaker 2: He's got that long hair.
Speaker 1: This bit that Nick talks about where he's now trying
Speaker 1: to start to take care of himself is eating a
Speaker 1: lot of salads. Yeah, just mainly the proteins, which is
Speaker 1: just chopped up pieces of ham and no lettuce, because
Speaker 1: lettus is disgusting a huge chunks of ham.
Speaker 2: You know what. That's what Lily does. That's what Lily does.
Speaker 2: So well, I'll make like a like a little salad
Speaker 2: for her, but it's really just chopped cucumbers. I'll have
Speaker 2: like like pulled chicken and like like a little bit
Speaker 2: of rice beans. I'll put it on like a little thing,
Speaker 2: and I'll call it a salad. And and I'll be
Speaker 2: paying attention while she's only eating the chicken, right, and
Speaker 2: then she'll say, I hate my salad today, And I'll go, Lily, no,
Speaker 2: you didn't. He just ate the chicken.
Speaker 1: You said the chicken.
Speaker 2: She said that the cucumbers, because the cucumbers have seeds
Speaker 2: in it. She goes, it's got the I don't want it.
Speaker 2: It's got the white things on it. That's the cue cover.
Speaker 2: But I don't want it.
Speaker 1: That's what cucumber is.
Speaker 2: I don't want it. Oh man.
Speaker 1: But anyway, Schmid is talking to Nick while they're schmitzing,
Speaker 1: I'm schmid sing is confused because you understand how he's
Speaker 1: he could want a twenty year old over his ripe berries. Yep.
Speaker 1: Then when he comes in, he says he needs a Schmitz, and.
Speaker 2: Then he asks why his sweat smells like asparagus. Schmidt
Speaker 2: confirms that he does. Take the sexual attention out of
Speaker 2: her room and wins. It's confused, and the morning was confused,
Speaker 2: quite honestly, because he says he heats up every room
Speaker 2: he walks into. You put him next to a dozen eggs.
Speaker 2: They had it. Then Nick turns to Schmidten lets him
Speaker 2: know that there was no sexual attention before which came in.
Speaker 2: Oh man, they gonna do it. They're gonna do it
Speaker 2: one day now, Jess, she addresses the other teachers slash
Speaker 2: chaperones for the dance, and then she thanks them. None
Speaker 2: of them volunteered, none of them now just is paying
Speaker 2: everyone in custom hats that she made that say chaperone,
Speaker 2: except for Gary the janitor. Gary says being the janitor
Speaker 2: isn't his whole identity. It calls just the third hottest
Speaker 2: white teacher. So funny. And then this is when we
Speaker 2: get there. This is when we involve coach in the mix,
Speaker 2: because you know, coach knows how I mean, they're friends.
Speaker 2: You know, he knows how important the dance is to Jess,
Speaker 2: And he says, these kids aren't gonna get away with anything.
Speaker 2: If they want to bang, they're gonna have to bang
Speaker 2: through me.
Speaker 1: Then he says it again.
Speaker 2: He goes, if they're gonna burning up the break through me,
Speaker 2: just talk to one of her students, Wendy. Wendy, her
Speaker 2: mom is making her go to the school dance. Wendy
Speaker 2: is going to wear a shark shirt to the dance.
Speaker 2: It's clear Wendy does not want to go to the dance. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that was kind of like me a little bit growing
Speaker 2: up when we had these dances. I would show up
Speaker 2: with every excuse not to go.
Speaker 1: To them because I was like, that was me too.
Speaker 1: I would never wanted to go to No one ever
Speaker 1: asked me to dance.
Speaker 2: Well, they knew you, I had no.
Speaker 1: Really, we're got out to the eleven year old. That
Speaker 1: girl can dance, Oh my gosh. No, no one ever
Speaker 1: dansked me to dance at the school dance. And I
Speaker 1: was a kid, and so I would feel so so shy,
Speaker 1: so funny how you look back now and now I'm like,
Speaker 1: thank goodness.
Speaker 2: And Hannah cannot dance. We're gonna go to break and
Speaker 2: we come back. We're going to discuss why.
Speaker 3: She never.
Speaker 2: And we are back. We're we I mean, this is
Speaker 2: going on. This is the third.
Speaker 1: Episode, third episode of Buster and CC. I'm telling you,
Speaker 1: it makes me crazy. It's making me crazy at this
Speaker 1: point just watching it is making me crazy. And I
Speaker 1: actually enjoyed the fact now that the boys are just
Speaker 1: gonna pile on and make fun of her, because long overdue,
Speaker 1: this needs to be openly mocked.
Speaker 2: But you know, you're in good hands because Winston can't
Speaker 2: get the joke out.
Speaker 1: A solid friend he wants, he can't bring himself.
Speaker 2: To do it. It's like, just come back to me,
Speaker 2: come back to me. I got I got I got something. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But CC is like justifying it, saying that Buster is
Speaker 2: more of a man than all of them. Come on,
Speaker 2: there's been a forty countries. He builds boats, he trains snakes.
Speaker 2: I mean, come on, come on, CEC says, all the
Speaker 2: boys do is hang out with each other like twelve
Speaker 2: year old girls. Yes, men hang out with each other.
Speaker 2: We share ideas, okay, we talk about how we're going
Speaker 2: to like build the world.
Speaker 3: H huh.
Speaker 2: I mean a brave New World. That's what that's what
Speaker 2: we share.
Speaker 1: It's definitely the Winny, Nick and Schmidt conversation.
Speaker 2: Thank you for recognizing that. Uh yeah. And then where we're.
Speaker 1: We're back at the school and unbeknownst to Jess, there
Speaker 1: is some sabotage happening. The gym is.
Speaker 2: Locked, that's right, in a way.
Speaker 1: They cannot get it open, hoping that the dance will
Speaker 1: be canceled. That was the intention of this lock by
Speaker 1: whoever did it. Yes, but Jess will not be broken.
Speaker 2: No, she will not be So she calls Cecy. That's right.
Speaker 2: She lets the boys know all the caperon's bailed on
Speaker 2: the dance and that this is a job for men
Speaker 2: to do. Well. They all chest bump, but when they
Speaker 2: chest bump, they hurt Winston's shoulders. As I'm saying that,
Speaker 2: I'm realizing that my shoulders.
Speaker 1: Actually do you got an ake? Yeah? You're an impact.
Speaker 2: I know, I feel it. I feel the pain all
Speaker 2: over the world, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Then this is a fun moment. It was a fun
Speaker 1: little character moment for CC new skills, who knew she had.
Speaker 1: But she breaks open the lock with a tire iron.
Speaker 1: What some Mafio so kind of ass. But I love
Speaker 1: that it's only like Schmidt who's not surprised, and it's
Speaker 1: like delighted by it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is my favorite part. Well, I don't know
Speaker 2: if it's my favorite part, but it's it's it's it's
Speaker 2: right up there. Coach tells the boys that they're under
Speaker 2: his control for the night. Yeah, that the little kids,
Speaker 2: these bastards will hurt your feet. Start talking. It starts
Speaker 2: Schmidt is on snack duty. It needs to make short
Speaker 2: diabetic Amy gets only two cookies, she'll pass out. Schmidt's
Speaker 2: just like she's gonna get no cookies, Like, no, she
Speaker 2: she actually needs she needs to. And then Winston is
Speaker 2: on dance floor duty. And then Winston says, no one's
Speaker 2: getting pregnant.
Speaker 1: Why so problematic?
Speaker 2: And then uh, Coach says that Nick isn't chapero material.
Speaker 2: Nick says that he can he can get into kind
Speaker 2: of a bad kid.
Speaker 1: You can go get into the mind. The mind is
Speaker 1: an important Yeah, I was like the kind of bad.
Speaker 2: Kid Whoai says that he can get into the mind
Speaker 2: of a bad kid and stop them before they do
Speaker 2: anything stupid. Right before that was this the moment. This
Speaker 2: is what I think I wrote this down with Coach
Speaker 2: was like, we're gonna have six inches of separation, and
Speaker 2: he does this, I'm six inches of separation and it's
Speaker 2: clearly a foot log. That is a bit that I
Speaker 2: always do when wherever we're talking like distance or length
Speaker 2: about something. I do it in my regular life. I
Speaker 2: do it on my other podcast. I do what I'm
Speaker 2: talking to people, and I can't help it. Now. If
Speaker 2: ever inches come up, I make them way bigger than
Speaker 2: what they actually are.
Speaker 1: Does anyone call you out?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Kyle does all the time. He's like, yeah, that
Speaker 2: checks out. That's about that's about three inches right there,
Speaker 2: Like yeah, right anyway, which I which I do believe
Speaker 2: co Damon improvised that moment that with his now Winston
Speaker 2: hits hit the dance floor right and then call me
Speaker 2: maybe comes on and you know, and he can't help himself.
Speaker 2: He can't coming out of him right. And then right
Speaker 2: before he gets into that big moment, Coach tells him
Speaker 2: to put his heat away and he apologizes, but that's
Speaker 2: the problem. It's too late, too late.
Speaker 1: The girls now middle school girls.
Speaker 2: The clock. Yeah, misplaced heat. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: You gotta keep that heat in your pocket and you
Speaker 2: know what I mean. And then they start chasing him,
Speaker 2: They start following him around like lost puppies, which reminds
Speaker 2: I mean this shooting this episode, uh definitely felt like
Speaker 2: when I was in middle school.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was very strange to do it. And it's
Speaker 1: one of those things that's like marks the passage of time.
Speaker 1: You start to realize like, oh, I'm I'm because real
Speaker 1: young actors that are there on the day and you're like, oh.
Speaker 2: I'm I'm so old to you. Yeah, it's a.
Speaker 1: Weird day because we are our show never really had
Speaker 1: children on it, and it was a weird day to
Speaker 1: be like, oh, these are like young aspiring actors that
Speaker 1: are like ten or eleven, so little. This to me
Speaker 1: was so man triggering because Schmidt then talks to Tommy,
Speaker 1: who is a bully and calls him out of his
Speaker 1: name and is so mean and relentless towards Schmidt. And
Speaker 1: you know what I loved about it though, was I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: but there are some kids at that age that are
Speaker 1: just awful people. Yeah, And I was like, yes, tell
Speaker 1: the truth on that there are some kids. That's why
Speaker 1: some of us got bullied at school, even at that age,
Speaker 1: who are already fully in their personality of being awful
Speaker 1: people to young and old alike. And I was like,
Speaker 1: this character I love because.
Speaker 2: You should you should be able to At that point,
Speaker 2: like he kept calling him a flamer, and he kept saying,
Speaker 2: he kept he was roasting Schmidt. Yeah, at that point,
Speaker 2: a kid, a kid should be allowed to get punched
Speaker 2: in the throat, one solid shot. That's what life is like,
Speaker 2: that's what you keep talking. Shit. I believe my.
Speaker 1: Strange Schmidt was. I was like, you are holding it together.
Speaker 1: I didn't know Schmid was capable of.
Speaker 2: I in my mind when rewatching it, I thought, wait,
Speaker 2: does Schmidt like hit him or something?
Speaker 1: I thought like for some reason, like I was like,
Speaker 1: you stand there and take that.
Speaker 2: Punch right, like trip him down a flight a stair,
Speaker 2: something happens to this kid, right, But none of that happened.
Speaker 1: None of it happens.
Speaker 2: Disappointing.
Speaker 1: Then there's another active sabotage. The lights go out justin
Speaker 1: CC poked their head out and they see one of
Speaker 1: the teachers running down the hall and they chase him.
Speaker 1: CC then shows she's the toughest and they go in
Speaker 1: to do good gop bad cops and in such funny writing.
Speaker 1: Jess understanding of what's a good cop and what's a
Speaker 1: bad cop is so funny. They're all over the place.
Speaker 2: Oh oh yeah. He comes outside, he's uh again, trying
Speaker 2: to prove that he could be you know, he sees
Speaker 2: the kids outside drinking sodas He's like, you think I'm
Speaker 2: a rone dude just short for chaperone. You think I'm
Speaker 2: a ron dude? And then is that what you got?
Speaker 2: Is like, you got any any juice? And Mary Jane,
Speaker 2: and they give him some of the drink. He takes
Speaker 2: a sip and he spits it out. Now, this is
Speaker 2: something that all young kids can identify with. I'm not
Speaker 2: sure if this was just like a dude thing when
Speaker 2: we were kids, but we would go to the soda
Speaker 2: machine and we would mix all of them together. And
Speaker 2: when you think about it, it's actually just the same
Speaker 2: amount of sugar just yea, it's all the same, but
Speaker 2: the flavor, the flavor is so.
Speaker 1: Is it a real thing to call it a suicide?
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's what it was called, because.
Speaker 1: Because I thought that what he was saying is like
Speaker 1: when you take a step and spit it out, like
Speaker 1: did you put something in here that could kill me? No,
Speaker 1: I didn't realize. That's just like the name of a
Speaker 1: mix of SODA's, Like that's what you call that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's just the name, you know what. I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I just thought he was like Scott scared for a
Speaker 1: second that.
Speaker 2: What he could kill him? This yeah, man. But Schmid
Speaker 2: goes back up to Tommy just to apologize to him.
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, you know what, oh yeah, this moment.
Speaker 2: But he gets on one knee and this little boy
Speaker 2: again the Rose, It's like, I'm not going to marry you, dude.
Speaker 1: He had to get down on one knee, becse, that's
Speaker 1: how small this child is. I know, to speak face
Speaker 1: to face, that's how small this child is. And he
Speaker 1: still gets destroyed.
Speaker 2: Gets destroyed by and so Schmid challenges him to a
Speaker 2: foot race in the parking lot. Meanwhile, this group of.
Speaker 1: Girls hysterical, like that's what you're gonna do to prove
Speaker 1: a point to this child you're dealing with, dudes, a
Speaker 1: foot race.
Speaker 2: Day, dual challenge, old school pistols, no races, little last
Speaker 2: and then beat them and then which is true, by
Speaker 2: the way, that's something that we used to do.
Speaker 1: You know your kids, you talk tells you to a race,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't be like, this feels unfair. Your legs are longer,
Speaker 1: and you're a bigger No.
Speaker 2: No, you should be faster for you lest their Olympians.
Speaker 2: And then meanwhile, this group of girls is grown. It's
Speaker 2: definitely doubled in size, and they are all smitten by
Speaker 2: everything that Winston says again, it's like life happens.
Speaker 3: Uh and uh, you.
Speaker 2: Know so c C C C is I apologize? She's
Speaker 2: like comforting Jess.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're having a real moment and it's very sweet,
Speaker 1: and she's like, look, you gotta just let it go.
Speaker 1: Dance isn't going to be perfect again. She knows what
Speaker 1: this is really about, Like Jess is trying to distract
Speaker 1: yourself from this breakup, and she's trying to do this
Speaker 1: perfect Like love is forever moment for these these young people,
Speaker 1: so they believe in love and aren't jaded, and it's
Speaker 1: bigger than the dance and see she knows what's going on.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah yeah. Meanwhile, Nick is high out of his mind,
Speaker 2: so he's jumping off of cars. He's catching mad hair
Speaker 2: bro like the two kids show him something else. They
Speaker 2: turned it up a little bit. The soda is one thing,
Speaker 2: but now a pile of fireworks randomly, Uh, that's interesting
Speaker 2: and could have been potentially dangerous.
Speaker 1: Very dangerous, like real dangerous.
Speaker 2: And so they they Nick says that you know, hey,
Speaker 2: we can get into a lot of trouble for lighting
Speaker 2: the fireworks, which is why I got our run really
Speaker 2: fast after lighting him and he likes it. I'm not
Speaker 2: gonna it was very underwhelming. I thought it would be
Speaker 2: a lot more because there was a lot of fireworks there.
Speaker 2: It was like three that went off, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: nobody heard that.
Speaker 1: They were running out of time on that night. Shoot.
Speaker 1: They're like, it's right, I do something.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Now Jess is with so so again we're trying
Speaker 2: to find out who is sabotaging this this dance and
Speaker 2: it's not until Jess sees Wendy, little girl from the
Speaker 2: beginning who didn't want to go we wants to wear
Speaker 2: a shark shirt to the dance. She was the culprit
Speaker 2: trying to sabotage the dance party because she thought that
Speaker 2: none of the boys wanted to dance with her. M M,
Speaker 2: very very sad.
Speaker 1: In this very sweet moment habit moment happens between the
Speaker 1: ladies CEC and Jess and Wendy. We're low key. Jess
Speaker 1: just says CC knows a lot about men, like a
Speaker 1: lot of about man because she's very well traveled.
Speaker 2: He's got some miles on her, so shaity, he's got
Speaker 2: some miles on her.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god. It's very funny. And
Speaker 1: as you know, an adult and you're around kids, talking
Speaker 1: in code can sometimes get shady. You're like, what do
Speaker 1: you actually mean? Because have you thought out what you're saying?
Speaker 1: And when you're trying to not say what you're saying.
Speaker 1: It's so fun and it's so sweet. And they're like,
Speaker 1: just so you know, boys are really dumb, so don't
Speaker 1: worry about what they think. And also because they're dumb,
Speaker 1: we can use them to save the stance and still
Speaker 1: have a great night.
Speaker 2: That's right, And that's what they do. That's what they do.
Speaker 2: They call the boys. Meanwhile, they're about to race. We
Speaker 2: come outside. We see Schmidt, who calls himself the Hebrew Cheetah,
Speaker 2: and they do the count off. Mark gets set and
Speaker 2: then Tommy cheats che little basket cheese. But Mitch Smidt.
Speaker 2: He catches up with him because Schmid is a real
Speaker 2: a real sprinter, you know what I mean. But out
Speaker 2: of nowhere Winston.
Speaker 1: Oh, this moment's so funny.
Speaker 2: Smoking him because he's you know, he's flopped by twenty
Speaker 2: different little kids. Yeah, and he runs right up next
Speaker 2: to h He's running for his life. He's running for
Speaker 2: his life. Nick is at the same time being pushed
Speaker 2: in in a grocery card by his new best friends.
Speaker 2: Strange friendship they got going on. And then Coach comes
Speaker 2: out and blows his whistle, putting an end to all
Speaker 2: of this.
Speaker 1: These are all the chaperones. Just remember, these are the
Speaker 1: people chaperoning the dance. Are all out there causing and
Speaker 1: encouraging chaos in the parking lot.
Speaker 2: Is a reason they shouldn't be. There's a reason. You know,
Speaker 2: they were a last. They were they were a last.
Speaker 2: They were like late additions the party. Yeah, so they
Speaker 2: didn't get the training memo that they need. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: Coaches letting them know, He's like, you guys are the worst,
Speaker 2: the worst chaperones ever. And then just this is sweet.
Speaker 2: I need you stupid boys. I loved it, and they
Speaker 2: and they get on the microphone.
Speaker 1: Hannah, this, I don't want to talk about it, honest gosh.
Speaker 1: I cringed and went underneath my pillows doing the rewatch.
Speaker 1: It's so for myself. Everybody else is fine, just myself,
Speaker 1: I cringed. And I think the reason I remember this
Speaker 1: episode is because it was painful to do it.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: And I think they probably eighty yard me because I
Speaker 1: don't even know that. No, they eighty yard someone else
Speaker 1: because I don't think I could. It was. I was
Speaker 1: like anybody else, you guys.
Speaker 2: But here's what I thought. It was funny. I thought
Speaker 2: it was funny because to me, it was very clearly
Speaker 2: not you. It was a professional beat boxer.
Speaker 1: I was like my voice, you guys, Tully you Honestly,
Speaker 1: they might have been like, hey, we'll change it, well
Speaker 1: like auto tune it, Lamar. Can you just do this
Speaker 1: in your ADR session to help out Hannah for.
Speaker 2: But then here's the part that because this is how
Speaker 2: I know it wasn't This is how I know it
Speaker 2: wasn't you doing it because when they when when they
Speaker 2: put my verse in, it was so off beat because
Speaker 2: there was no beat, There was no beat that I
Speaker 2: was beat. Yeah, I was like Why would you add
Speaker 2: an off beat? Why don't you just have her switch
Speaker 2: it up? It's like, whoever added no disrespect? All I
Speaker 2: was doing was this rap battles before. Yeah, that's it,
Speaker 2: I believe so, and so I was like silent, you know,
Speaker 2: as one of the greatest rappers of all time. I
Speaker 2: know for a fact, I'm never off beat. So that's what.
Speaker 2: That's what.
Speaker 1: Anyway, that's I never cringed, even whoever was doing it.
Speaker 1: For me, the whole thing was so cringe to watch
Speaker 1: for myself. It's very rare moments where I watch where
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I need to just disappear myself. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree.
Speaker 2: But yeah. Then finally a student brings a boombox and
Speaker 2: then they they get the real dance party going. Schmid
Speaker 2: danced with cc Nick dances with Jess Winston.
Speaker 1: Just end the episode. It's a potty.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a Marty. It's Marty.
Speaker 3: Let's go from the break, uh babe?
Speaker 1: Yeah, babe.
Speaker 2: Do you remember your first school dance? Anything in particular
Speaker 2: stick out from that first dance?
Speaker 1: What I remember about my first school dance. It probably
Speaker 1: wasn't my first school dance, but the first one I
Speaker 1: remember it was in Cyprus, and me and my best
Speaker 1: friend wanted to go wearing like matching outfits to the
Speaker 1: school dance. So we went and got these green oversized
Speaker 1: wide legged jeans okay, like huge, like massive wide leg
Speaker 1: jeans and wore it with like a belt, and then
Speaker 1: we wore it with like a really tight little white
Speaker 1: tank top. And we both showed up and she was
Speaker 1: like freckled redhead, super cute, and then me was me
Speaker 1: and we showed up to the dance and in the
Speaker 1: same in the same outfit, and we felt a very.
Speaker 2: Cool could get laughed at or people like that's cool.
Speaker 1: I don't know if anybody noticed or cared, but you
Speaker 1: we felt very cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't quite remember my first one.
Speaker 1: I should say it's because we love like TLC like
Speaker 1: those like we're like we were drawing inspiration from style
Speaker 1: Wise and we're like, we're gonna look cool as ale
Speaker 1: at the dance and everybody else. I think all the
Speaker 1: girls showed up in like dresses and we were just like,
Speaker 1: you ain't ready for this criss cross in full effect,
Speaker 1: and they were just like nobody, nobody cares about you, guys. Stop.
Speaker 1: We tried. That's what I remember my first all dance.
Speaker 2: You're a totally crossed out. I know, No, I can't.
Speaker 2: I can't quite remember my It's hard, this one's, this one's.
Speaker 2: This one is difficult because I went to a few
Speaker 2: of dances from other people's schools. You know, girls would
Speaker 2: invite me to those things. Nothing but nothing memorable. I
Speaker 2: could tell you one memorable moment from a prom that
Speaker 2: I went to the day, really close friend of mine.
Speaker 2: Shout out to Alexis joy we U. I went to
Speaker 2: her prom senior senior year, and she lived in Indiana.
Speaker 2: So I brow to Indiana, drove her father's car, who
Speaker 2: happened to be the preacher of our church at the time,
Speaker 2: so let me borrow his Cadillac. And we were leaving
Speaker 2: the problem and we're going to head into Chicago to
Speaker 2: go to a like a party or whatever. And we're
Speaker 2: in this big caravan. So we're all following this truck
Speaker 2: that has his hazards on and it's raining out. Now
Speaker 2: we're on the caliummet Freeway, I think right over the
Speaker 2: river or something like that. Anyway, it's raining out. The
Speaker 2: conditions are not great. This truck that I'm following swerves
Speaker 2: out of the way last minute, and I slam on
Speaker 2: the brakes because there's a car just sitting in the
Speaker 2: left lane. There's two cars, none of them have their
Speaker 2: hazards on and it's hard to see, so I noticed it.
Speaker 2: I'm like, holy shit, slam on the brakes. I get
Speaker 2: this close to the person and is he's standing in
Speaker 2: the back of the car.
Speaker 1: Ah.
Speaker 2: I get this close to him. The car behind me
Speaker 2: hits me.
Speaker 3: I stopped.
Speaker 2: I make a complete stop. The car behind me couldn't stop.
Speaker 2: Hits me into that person. No, yeah, yeah. It caused
Speaker 2: a big pile up on the freeway. They had to
Speaker 2: get the little Jaws of Life thing crane thing too,
Speaker 2: because the dashboard had collapsed on my legs.
Speaker 1: Are you for real?
Speaker 2: I'm for real. The guy ended up losing his leg.
Speaker 2: It was. It was a mess. I was beat up
Speaker 2: like I was. And and you know what's crazy is
Speaker 2: that the guy had stopped to help a woman whose
Speaker 2: car had but none of them put their hazards on
Speaker 2: right and none of them moved all the way over
Speaker 2: to the shoulder. They just stopped in that lane. It
Speaker 2: was a really strange situation. So, uh, he ended up
Speaker 2: unfortunately losing his leg, but also getting a ticket. No,
Speaker 2: they find him. They didn't find me. They didn't find
Speaker 2: any of those drivers, because it was like they had
Speaker 2: caused a hazard, like they had stopped in the middle
Speaker 2: of the thing, and nobody thought to put their blinkers on,
Speaker 2: like their hazard lights on. Yeah, hey, they tried. I
Speaker 2: think they tried to do they try to sue me.
Speaker 2: I think they tried to.
Speaker 1: No, I mean you didn't see.
Speaker 2: Yeah they Yeah, I mean it was that was that
Speaker 2: was a moment.
Speaker 1: No, you don't dance.
Speaker 2: No, that's why. That's why I stopped going to kids proms.
Speaker 2: This was last year.
Speaker 1: You gotta go. Man, next week, I'm gonna be on
Speaker 1: a boat and you're gonna be on a flamenco floating
Speaker 1: in your pool.
Speaker 2: You gotta one to my house.
Speaker 1: If I was here, we were in the same city,
Speaker 1: we would have done it together, hanging out on the
Speaker 1: hot tap. That would have been fun. But uh, we're
Speaker 1: gonna figure it away. Somehow. We're gonna have water, you guys.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get lamar into somehow.
Speaker 2: I'll do it in the shower, dude, shower.
Speaker 1: Do it in your bath with a little floaty so
Speaker 1: that I can do that and we're gonna figure it out.
Speaker 2: You are ridiculous. You have a yacht and you have.
Speaker 1: You're gonna see the wait till you see, and then
Speaker 1: you're gonna sit there and you're gonna take a lot
Speaker 1: of this back and say, what kind of boat? Y'all?
Speaker 1: If I can make it happen, if I'm actually up
Speaker 1: there in Canada, but if it times out, it's going
Speaker 1: to be fun. Well, thanks for listening, man, what a fun,
Speaker 1: weird little episode.
Speaker 2: Absolutely day. Please make sure you guys follow us on Instagram.
Speaker 2: It's a great place to follow us The mess Around.
Speaker 1: And not in real life. Please follow me Instagram.
Speaker 2: You know, it depends on who you are. I don't
Speaker 2: mind a little stocky stock don't say that stuff.
Speaker 1: Oh my lord, unless you are Zoe.
Speaker 2: Cra Yeah, Zoe want to stalk me. I'm okay with that. See.
Speaker 1: I guess there's.
Speaker 2: Say your questions, your concerns, your videos, your videos, if
Speaker 2: you creep it outside of my house at The mess
Speaker 2: Around at gmail dot com. We'll be back next week
Speaker 2: with episode of three twenty three.
Speaker 3: Crew shout out.
Speaker 1: That was The Mess Around in iHeartMedia Production.
Speaker 2: Our executive producer is Joel Monique. Our Senior producer is
Speaker 2: Abu Zafar Bei Wang provided engineering and editing services.
Speaker 1: Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Shevron.
Speaker 1: Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson,
Speaker 1: Catch you next time.
Speaker 3: Bye,